The Signs Were Always There

What if Agatha was ace?

lol guess who's having a hot girl summer

I've read/listened to CO more times than I can count, and I think why I have (when I typically don't ever consume one type of media like this) is because I always come out knowing/understanding something new.

Obviously, I'm here for Baz and Simon and the rest of the gang. But I remember my second time reading, I grasped more the actual tragedy of the story. Particularly with the adults story. They aren't the main focus, but there's so much there that you can infer. I think what really hit me was the lost friendship between Lucy and Penny's mom. The scene were they last saw each other doesn't seem that important, but personally I see it as a prime example of how a manipulative partner can influence your other relationships and consequently add distance to them. Lucy had people who truly cares for her. And though maybe the Mage cared for her in his own way, he used her. I couldn't help but morn the life her and Simon could have had. And writing about it now, I believe the second time reading I truly morned for the characters. For Lucy, for Simon, for Ebb, for Baz, etc—they have been and go through so much but you wish they don't because they deserve so much more. But that's life. Tragedy where it's not fair and in the end you just have to carry on.

And now more recently I got in the mood to relisten to the audiobook. This time around, having read WS and many tumblr treads about the series, I noticed more about Simon. How the Mage treated him, how uncomfortable he is with physical contact, how he thinks people view him. But honestly I think this time around, I just realized how sad Simon is. He doesn't really act it, seeing how that's how he lives life. He doesn't think about the past or the future—he more or less always lives in the current. But we know he dreamed of having parents. The best he had was the Mage and Ebb. Physical contact isn't his thing because he never had it. Only kissed on the lips, never a parental or familiar kiss on the forehead or whatnot as a way to show a sign of care and affection. Always sent off to care homes in the summer. A place he never felt safe in where he always had to have his guard up. And the only time he was wanted somewhere was to fulfill a position in their society. It's no wonder Simon is at a loss in his life, let alone his relationship. I know it's been said, but he's no longer the choose one, and the closest thing he had to a father (is his father but he doesn't know that) told him that was his worth. And URG, there's just so much to say about him. Like how he had trouble speaking as a child and he himself recognized "it was easier to take than to ask." (Which is, admittedly, not a good quote, Simon.) He never learned to communicate, so his actions are the closest to speaking his truth. But now he doesn't know how to communicate what he feels and probably doesn't realize how good it can be to figure stuff out together rather than always be in your head. And don't get me started with WS and the ending. I'm glad he's starting to make goals and try to get in a better place, but he's still has a ways to go. So in conclusion: Simon needs a fucking hug, a therapist, and I need to cry.

But the real conclusion is that Carry On has so much to give. I didn't even scratch the surface. But it's what makes it one of my favourite book and how I'm literally dying for the third book.

Now if you'll excuse me, I will be in a 7 monthish comma until AWTWB is out.

The Chosen One

I haven't seen this theory, but was Ebb the actual Chosen One?

After rereading Carry On for like the second or third time, I just got the sense that maybe she was the one who was supposed to be the Chosen One.

For one, she is considered to be one hell of a powerful magician. Everyone acknowledges her power. I forget who said this, maybe the Mage, but if Simon didn't exist, than she probably would be the most powerful magician out there.

She never had a choice. It's a theme in Carry On about choice and 'destiny'. Agatha was supposed to be Simon's girl. Simon was the Hero™ and Baz was the Villain™. Everyone thought they were going to end each other. That was their ending. But it wasn't. Everyone's endings were definitely not the intended plan (and are still on going). Agatha really exemplifies this through her perspective. She gtfo cause Ebb never did. I think a point in Carry On is that you make your own choices and nothing is set in stone. (Which then disproves that prophecies exist, but we'll ignore that for now.) But Ebb never really had much of a choice. Whenever and whatever she did she'd always be involved in the wars, she'd be a threat or an ally. All she wanted was to raise her sheep, but the war came to her and she had to fight it. As if it was inevitable that she was supposed to save the day.

Also there's always Penny thoughts about gender in the world of the mages. Generally it's about gender stereotypes, specifically female stereotypes. But she makes one comment that makes me think Rainbow was trying to allude to something. I don't have the actual quote, because I'm lazy, but it was essentially Penny realizing rather the Chosen One, or Humdrum, or some other title could be female too, as she had just assumed that they were a he. So that makes me think it's more of a hint or *wink wink nudge nudge* from Rainbow that the information we're given isn't necessarily the 'right' information as it's all based on assumptions the world of mages has made. Which has been proven to not always be right, as demonstrated from our favourite trio when discovering that the Humdrum didn't actually cause the Watford Tragedy. And like a whole bunch of other stuff.

This is what I've sort of come to theorize. Now of course, Ebb didn't end the war. Simon got rid of the Humdrum and technically 'killed' the Mage. And who knows if the prophecy actually meant anything. Magic exists, but can it really tell the future? With all the effort the Mage did to look into it, it may have all been him just seeing the answers he wanted to see, not actual facts. (Side Note: what did he actually do to Lucy? To you know, make Simon the way he did? He made the most powerful magician, but how? What magic did he mess with?)

Anyways, it just feels like Ebb was a lot of things we never got to see or understand.

Thanks for reading this midnight ramble.

Hi! I just wanted to thank you for writing out the whole timeline for the Instagram posts. I don’t have Instagram so I can’t look at any of the stories or anything. It was great to be able to get context for the show :)

Dude of course! I did it just to see how things might connect and get grasp of the timeline, but I'm glad it can be of use to others!

I'm your mom

I'm feeling unhinged today

In another life

(Closeups under the cut)

I just think women

tazmuir could simply rerelease gideon the ninth over and over again but from the perspective of all of the different characters at canaan house and i would be tuned the fuck in. like the drama of all of their different expectations and relationships…. coronabeth living her hot girl summer… judith experiencing Sapphic Hell…. isaac and jeannemary on the world’s weirdest family vacation…. palamedes living out a deeply repressed regency era romance…. silas filled with loathing for every single person there…. delightful. canaan house drives me crazy. it’s like if love island was survivor