Person A: Why Do I Hear Police Sirens Behind Us?

Person A: Why do I hear police sirens behind us?

Person B, holding up bags of money: I accidentally robbed a bank

Person A, having a stroke: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY ROB A BANK-

More Posts from Unholydisaster13 and Others

2 years ago

hello, i have characters for bad idea

Khonsu

Hero, Generation III

Civilian identity: Issac [REDACTED]

Wavy hair(undercut), dyed dark red, and brown eyes

Positives: Analytical, open-minded, objective, charismatic

Negatives: Insensitive, solitary, repressed, restless

Forever tired dad to three(3) chaotic heroes-in-training

Manipulates lunar energy, often called a werewolf

Trained in Project [REDACTED]

Helios

Villain, Generation III

Civilian identity: Connor [REDACTED]

Curly hair, natural black w/ violet ends, and gray eyes

Positives: Brilliant, practical, perceptive, direct

Negatives: Risk-prone, defiant, impatient, merciless

Is probably a masochist but strongly denies it

Telekinesis, and manipulates fire and solar energy, is called a phoenix

Trained in Project [REDACTED]

Shu

Hero informant, Generation II

Civilian identity: Benett "Benji" Clay

Wavy hair, natural dark brown, and hazel eyes

Positives: Enthusiastic, good-natured, curious, driven

Negatives: Disorganized, people-pleasing, nosy, gullible

Khonsu's kind of sort of brother

Manipulates the wind, isn't called any sort of mythical animal

Trained in Project Brimstone

Moryana

Vigilante, Generation IV

Civilian identity: Penelope Sosa

Straight hair, dirty blonde, and dark brown eyes

Positives: Supportive, hardworking, rational, reliable

Negatives: Reserved, overcommitted, altruistic, disrespectful

Has been subjected to horoscope readings, would not recommend

Manipulates water, is probably a siren

Trained in Project Ether

Tiamat

Villain, Generation III

Civilian identity: Makayla [REDACTED]

Curly hair, black, and brown eyes

Positives: Observant, creative, pragmatic, magnetic

Negatives: Unfocused, easily bored, sensitive, vicious

Khonsu and Shu's kind of sort of sister

Manipulates water and storms, is definitely a siren

Trained in Project [REDACTED]

Nyx

Vigilante, Generation II

Civilian identity: Kameron Caye

Wavy hair, light brown, and green-gray eyes

Positives: Empathetic, passionate, idealistic, generous

Negatives: Unrealistic, vulnerable, self-critical, isolated

Friends-with-benefits with Shu, supposedly no feelings involved

Manipulates darkness and stellar energy, probably a vampire

Trained in Project Brimstone

I might be posting short stories introducing them as best as I can because writing is about as easy as me balancing myself on a thin circle. It won't make sense and it definitely won't make sense. Yes, I just wrote that twice. Yes, I am slightly sleep-deprived.

The gods have made many mistakes and their greatest was giving me a flesh suit to inhabit.


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4 years ago

am I allowed to kill you then

Pissing ass and killing rats. Happy Saturday baby

4 years ago

Flow, Ghost, Infinity, Terra 1.1

Delyth Parks felt a small tremor, the vibrations growing in intensity every second. There were rarely earthquakes here and even when there were, they were small and insignificant, often ignored by the occupants of below. 

“The here’s going on?” Jade Halsey appeared from around a corner, hair ruffled and hazel eyes blown wide. So it wasn’t just Dee who felt it. “Dunno, maybe the Titans are causing a ruckus downstairs,” Dee suggested sarcastically, her Irish accent making it seem even more so. 

Jade rolled her eyes, “Your sarcasm is noted. Anyway, I sense it’s coming from the fountain.”

“What? I thought it was drained years ago.”

“My senses aren’t wrong, if it was the Titans, pretty sure it would have much weaker than this.”

Jade was right about the fountain being the source but there was something unusual about this particular earthquake(besides its abnormally strong intensity).

 The closer they had gotten to the fountain, the weaker the vibrations became and it happened to be full of blood as it did long ago. 

“Ok, this is getting weird,” Jade said and Dee noticed some bubbles appearing near the edge. Something was rising from it but what or who was it?

A tuft of hair appeared first then a face, arms, legs, and soon enough, there was an entire body floating in the blood fountain but whoever it was, they weren’t drenched in it. In fact, they looked perfectly dry. 

The girls dragged the body out of the fountain, confirming it to be a boy in his teen years, possibly a tad younger than they were(looks-wise, at least), with brown hair tied into a ponytail and bangs covering his left eye.

Dee placed a hand on his chest and almost immediately retracted it in shock. “What’s wrong, Dee?” The redhead could only mutter four chilling words...

“He... he has a heartbeat.”


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3 years ago

alternatively, Fanfiction.net

K: no cusses + one single papercut

K+: maybe one cuss but it's minor + one single papercut but it's bleeding a bit more

T: cover your ears kids, mommy has some words to say + oh, a broken bone

M: literal cursing tirades + maybe one organ that is peeking out like Pennywise

Applicable AO3 Ratings If You Don’t Write Porn

G- nothing objectionable

T- the fuck word

M- organs, outside

E- organs, outside, lovingly described

4 years ago

egg: uncooked

steak: rare

milk: 1%

alcohol: straight up liquor

warm drink: black coffee

image

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4 years ago

me at 6 years old

my brain: what the fudge

my eyes: huh

my brain: aren't you supposed to be crying

my eyes: for what, candy?

my brain: no your finger

my eyes:

my brain: your baby finger is backward

my eyes:

my brain: it's broken

my eyes:

my brains: it's not supposed to look like that

my eyes:

my eyes: *SWEAT GLANDS ACTIVATE*


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3 years ago

sadly my sadistic side hasn't made herself known yet

On tumblr.com you can be yourself, really messed up


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3 years ago

dunno I got a shadowy star man with glowy eyes as my background(my lock screen is literally just bi stuff) so... my fucked up-ness is purely up to the gods

You’re married to your phone background/lockscreen how fucked are you


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4 years ago

at this point they don't really give a fuck

I Can’t Look At Older Phoenix And Edgeworth Without Dying Inside
I Can’t Look At Older Phoenix And Edgeworth Without Dying Inside

I can’t look at older Phoenix and Edgeworth without dying inside


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    unholydisaster13 reblogged this · 3 years ago
unholydisaster13 - Goddess of Procrastination
Goddess of Procrastination

she/they, disaster bisexual and awkward enby at your service

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