*Fucking Dies In The McDonald’s Parking Lot*

*slams hands on the table*

Line up bitches, yall getting downloaded

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

*Leo telling at him*

"STOP THROWING THINGS! PUT MIKEY DOWN! I SWEAR TO GOD PICASSO!!"

*Splinter talking to him*

"Picasso my son, you must control your temper."

*When the boys find something broken*

"NO PICASSO!!" "CAN PICASSO NOT SMASH FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE?!"

Do you have any Raph headcanons? I don't really know what to specify, just anything would be super cool! (I love your writing and reading through your blog, keep up the good work!!!)

((Thanks so much, this is the best I can do right now.))

-Raphael sleeps with one leg hanging off the bed. For body temperature regulation purposes. Maybe an arm will be included.

-He has an old stash of **magazines** under his mattress. Amazing what people throw away.

-His favorite food (besides pizza) is Enchiladas. I feel like he’d have a taste for spicy things…Mexican food in general??

-He sometimes thinks about how the rest of his brothers’ names ends with an “o” and his doesn’t. It makes him feel like he stands out, but not entirely in the weird, outstandish way. If the shoe fits…

-Raphael sure was the bullying-type of brother when he was younger, but quickly grew out of that after he hurt Donnie’s feelings a little too much. He got in sooo much trouble with Splinter and learned his lesson real fucking quick, though he naturally regretted doing it even before his punishment.

The turtles: *chatting in the living room while watching a movie*

Me: *runs into the room at top speed and dive bombs for blanket on floor*

Me: *lands on edge of blanket*

Me: *rolls*

Bros:............ O.O

Me: This is my final form

Me: I have become a blanket taco

Me: *sticks out tongue*

Y'all ever go to a relatives house for like a weekend or smthn and you get one of your cousins rooms cause they gone, and you know that cousin well enough that when you get to the room you're just like, "I wonder how many people they been fuckin in this bed," before awkwardly laying down on it?

Honestly sounds like my perfect reality lmao

I PROMISE

TMNT

Mikey x Reader

So I felt like writing something depressing because we all need a little turtle love but some of us just need it differently. Sending my love to those of you with depression <3 Hope yall like it :)

Trigger Warning: Suicide, self harm, bullying, and depression.  

Your life had always been bland and empty, it was something you’d learned to live with for as long as you could remember. That was… until you had met them. The turtles were the only people you had ever met who had ever given two shits about you. Your parents had neglected you for most of your life and the only friend you’d ever had had moved overseas to Ireland. The only good luck you’d had in your whole seventeen years was meeting the turtles two years ago.

They’d brought happiness into your world and made you feel human for the first time in your life, but out of all of them Mikey had helped you the most. You admire his strength and ability to lighten the mood, it had helped you on numerous occasions.

You really needed that today.

It was your birthday and as usual it seemed to be a day of torture. Every year something would happen to remind you that it was just another year people had to tolerate you and that you had to live through their torment. This time one of the girls in your foods class, who’d been partnered with you to take care of the laundry, had made a point of spilling bleach on you when the teacher wasn’t in the room.

She had pointed at you with a smirk and laughed. “Well maybe that will clean you up you filthy fat whore,” she’d announced, and the whole class laughed along with her.

You didn’t waste a second as you grabbed your backpack and ran out of the room to the sound of the whole class chanting, “(Y/N)’s a whore, (Y/N)’s a whore!”

Tears clouded your vision until you no longer knew where you were going, but you didn’t care, not anymore, there was no more reason to. At one point you caught sight of your reflection as you were passing a store window, bringing you to a halt. You looked awful. Your favorite dark orange shirt was already fading to white in messy splotches and so were your skinny jeans. Your beautiful (h/c) hair was covered in the nasty chemical making it crusty and plain out gross as it dripped from the tips onto the sidewalk, but the stench was the worst part. You saw a lady give you a disgusted look as she passed by and you ducked your head in shame before diving into the nearest alleyway and lifting up the closest manhole cover. During your time with the turtles your strength had grown and lifting the covers had became second nature.

You ran through the sewers as the memories flooded your vision. (Y/N)’s a whore! (Y/N)’s a whore! (Y/N)’s a whore!

“I’m a stupid fat whore…”

The words were barely a whisper, but the second they fell from your lips fresh tears fell in turrets and you had to stop moving as sobs racked your body. Why? Why did everyone need to remind you how useless you were? You knew no one cared, you’d accepted the fact a long time ago, no one loved you enough to care if you were gone. The thoughts and sobbs lasted only a few minutes before you took a few shaky breaths to calm yourself and continued walking.

When you arrived at the front doors to the lair you stopped. You wiped your eyes to make sure there were no remaining tears staining your cheeks for them to discover before you took another deep breath and walked in.

The first thing you noticed upon entering was that the lair was warm and smelled like pizza. You heard laughing to your left and looked up the small set of stairs to where the table was to see that the boys were eating pizza and betting on who would win the arm wrestling match that was going on between Leo and Raph.

You couldn’t help but feel happiness surge through the darkness at the sight, it brought back memories of happier times.

Back when you used to live with them for days at a time, during which you would wake up to Leo and Raph fighting and be the one to break them up. Back when you and Mikey would watch videos and spend all night talking about God knows what. Those were the days you lived for, the days you only had to worry about if Leo would burn dinner, or if Donnie would pass out from sheer exhaustion, or what you and Mikey would talk about that night…

The phone call had changed it all. Your parents demanded you come back, if you didn’t they’d take extreme measures. You didn’t want to find out what those were so you packed your things and prepared to leave after all the boys went to sleep that night, but as you were leaving you woke Mikey.

The argument you two had that night was one you’d rather not remember, but it seemed you could never get it out of your mind. It seemed to be burned there like a lingering scar in your memory.

He had refused to let you go. When you asked him why he refused to answer, just kept trying to convince you to stay. Your voices had steadily raised until the volume had woken his brothers and even Splinter. After a while you’d had enough and as you began to leave he had screamed at you that he didn’t want to see you hurt. That had been a year ago and as far as the brothers knew you were doing fine, better actually. They had no idea what things were really like...

You smiled and walked over, dumping your backpack at the foot of the small stairs, joining in on the fun.

Both turtles were straining and holding eye contact as they attempted to out gun the other. You laughed a little causing all attention to go to you as Raph flexed and pinned his older brother’s arm to the table.

“Ha, looks like I win Fearless.”

“It doesn’t count if I was distracted Raph,” Leo growled as they both looked at you.

Mikey gasped. “Dude what happened to you?” he asked as he looked you over.

You flinched a bit but smiled and said, “an accident with bleach in foods, a girl tripped and spilled bleach on me, nothing major.”

All the brothers seemed to gasp at the same time. “Nothing major?” they shouted in unison.

“Did she do it on purpose?”

“Did you tell a teacher?”

“Did ya knock ‘er out?”

“Did it get in your eyes?”

“Woah, woah, woah, guys relax!” you shouted, “it’s ok, the teacher wasn’t there so I left but I didn’t feel like going home so I came here instead. No there’s none in my eyes, just all over my clothes and hair. And no, Raph, I didn’t beat her up.”

Raph threw up his hands. “Well ‘scuse me for wondering if that girl got a proper ass whoopin.’”

“Looks like your clothes are ruined Angel Cakes, we should get you washed up while Donnie calls April.”

Mikey led you to the bathroom as Donnie took out his phone and dialed said girl and Leo and Raph went back to arguing about who had won their earlier fight.

As you entered the guest bathroom Mikey helped you take off your shoes while you grabbed a towel from beneath the sink. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Mikey scanning over your facial features, so you tried to keep them from showing the pain you felt. “Are you sure you’re ok (Y/N/N)?”

You smiled at the nick name and nodded encouragingly. “I promise Mikey, I’m fine. Just in desperate need of a shower,” you admitted sheepishly.

The orange clad turtle looked you over another time before smiling and getting up. “Well then I’ll let you take your shower. Holler at me if you need anything,” he said with a wink before lightly ruffling the dry part of your hair.

As the door shut behind him you let out a sigh and began to undress. You stepped into the shower and turned the knob as far as it could go. As the scalding water ran over your skin you found your thoughts wandering back to the dark places they had been treading through earlier. A tear streaked down your cheek but you didn’t notice as it mixed with the water running over your face. The water had reached an almost unbearable temperature by the time you turned to wash yourself off, but you barely even registered it as your thoughts roamed to desperate places. You were only half aware of your actions as you washed your body and shampooed your hair. You were only focused on the thoughts invading your mind.

(Y/N)’s a stupid fat whore!

Why can’t you follow orders like your sister.

You’ll never be anybody special.

Get your head out of the clouds, you can never be anything useful with all your daydreams.

Take a hike bitch.

What guy would want you?

Tears had begun to stream down your cheeks as memories flooded your mind and you finished washing your hair. There was something deep inside your soul that wanted to scream, to cry out for help, but what if they were right. What if nobody cared? What if nobody wanted you?

Your thoughts suddenly turned to Mikey. Would he care when you were gone? Would he cry and beg for you to come back?

No.

No one would.

A hand reached out and grasped your razor. You could end it. You could make it stop. Make the dull ache in the backs of your heart and skull disappear and the torment of your soul stop. You felt a slight sting as the razor dug into the skin of your left arm. The smell of blood filled you sinuses as you looked down to see the cuts bleeding. The wounds helped clear your thoughts as you dragged the sharp metal object across your arm again, and again, and again before switching to your other arm. Relief flooded your senses as the pain took over, but it wasn’t enough. You needed more.

You stepped out of the shower and into the foggy bathroom, barely able to see anything. Without letting go of the razor you wrapped your towel around you and stepped in front of the fogged up mirror. You swiped your hand across it, revealing your face. Your sad (e/c) eyes, your pale face, and the bags underneath your eyes. No one should have to live life like this. No one.

A knock on the door brought you out of your thoughts.

“Hey (Y/N), April dropped off some clothes and the rest of the bro’s went into the dojo to train so-” his words were suddenly cut off before he knocked on the door again, this time louder, “are you ok? There’s super steamy air coming out from under the door. Can I come in?”

Your breathing hitched in your throat as you reached over and locked the door. Not seconds later you heard the doorknob rattling as Mikey attempted to enter. His shouting grew and you knew that he could easily have Donnie taking the door off it’s hinges in a matter of minutes so you turned to look into the mirror as you held the metal against the skin of your neck.

BOOM!

The door shook as Mikey kicked it, almost sending the door flying. The door was suddenly pulled in the opposite direction to show Mikey at the same time that blood started to run down your neck.

Baby blue eyes met (e/c) as he stared at you with a pleading look. His usually bright demeanor was completely gone, replaced with sadness and above all, fear. You could see his hands shaking as they slowly reached out to you.

“(Y/N).”

You inhaled sharply. Although the words were barely audible they held more meaning than anyone else would ever understand. He rarely called you by your first name and he had never looked at you like that before.

It was then that all of the dark thoughts began to fade from your mind as you realized that all your earlier thoughts were false. Against your will your arms fell to your side and the razor dropped to the floor.

In mere seconds Mikey had his arms around you as the razor slid across the floor.

“Shhhhh, it’s ok (Y/N). I’m here. Please don’t ever do that again, you scared the shit out of me.”

His words barely registered in your mind as you finally let loose and slumped against his form. Your tears ran free and your sobs were so loud it hurt. You tried to hide the sounds against his neck but as his arms tightened around your shaking figure your walls began to crumble.

“I love you, please don’t leave me,” you whispered as you clung to him.

“I won't sweetheart, I promise. I- I love you too (Y/N). I’ll do anything to see you happy again,” he pushed you back a bit so he could look you in the eyes, his baby blue orbs moist with tears, “just promise me you’ll let Donnie take care of your cuts and that you’ll talk to me next time, I don’t want to see you so hurt.”

As his arms wrapped firmly back around you you felt all your walls caving in, the caution tape around your heart being ripped away, and your heart finally seemed to beat to in time with the universe.

And finally, you were at peace, you were home.

You nodded, a small smile gracing your features through the tears. “I promise.”

Shoutout to the people who:

-have symptoms that aren’t visible to others

-are able to function even while in extreme pain

-hide their illness well

-who don’t “seem sick”

-who have flareups at night or other times when no one else sees

-fight a daily battle that others can’t see

-feel like they’re making too big of a deal out of their illness because “it could be worse!”

I see you out there, I feel you, you’re awesome.

THERE'S A SECOND ONE!!😱😱😍😍😍💙💙💖💖

Ooo more fluffy Leo stuff please!! It's sooo good 💗

- hand holding, a lot of it

- cuddling too

- he would always try to touch you or have you close (like rubbing your back, playing with your fingers etc)

- forehead kisses

- he would watch your favorite show or movie with you even though he might not understand it (maybe it’s the topic, the humor or genre)

- same goes for music

- he might even listen to it when you’re back at your own home, just to memorize the lyrics

- would try to get you into his favorite things as well

- he would NEVER forget your anniversary and even celebrate it each month

- flowers or cute poems

- written by himself of course

- he’d have a whole wall of pictures of you

- most of them he took himself

- some of them were of both of you

- he’d change his lock screen almost daily cause he loved every single picture of you

- he might whistle when he thought he was alone, just because he was so happy with you

- he’d watch you sleep but not in a creepy way

- he just loved the way you looked when you slept

- he’d compliment you every day, especially when you felt down

- cute af nicknames

- maybe something in Japanese like Hana (flower)

- already imagines your children

- and has names for them

- he’d often place you in his lab so he could cuddle you from behind

- he loved it when you put your head against his plastron

- he felt invincible when you did that

- always smiling when you’re around or soon are

- even when his brothers are pissing him off, fuck that he will see YOU later

- would ask Splinter what he thinks of you

- is happy when Splinter says you’re a wonderful human being

- always puts your happiness above his own

- but loves to vent to you as well

- never gets physical, just ranting about everything that’s pissing him off (come on, even he needs a break from time to time)

- he knows you’re the only person who can calm him down

- he would sleep much better when you’re next to him

- he would even sleep in sometimes

- he could relax so much with you, like a huge weigh is lifted from his shoulders

- he’d occasionally lift you up and carry you to wherever you want

- just to be cute, you know

- would always brag to his brothers at how amazing you are

- would call you his forever girl

It's 5:22 am and I'm sick as hell and can't sleep so I'm just sitting here thinking about the turtles.

I can totally imagine one of those rare days in the lair where everyone is doing their own thing quietly; Leo's reading at the table, Donnie's doing something at his mass of computers, Raph is bench pressing, and Splinter is somewhere meditating. Everything is peaceful until the clock changes from 4:19 and suddenly Mikey runs in wearing a backwards baseball cap and a giant pair of rainbow glasses screaming, "420 BITCHES BLAZE IT!" and just pulls out an airhorn and runs around in circles while his older brothers glare at him and Splinter facepalms in the other room.

For fucks sake, this man has no idea how to do the simplest of things 🤦🏻‍♀️

Donnie: Please, PLEASE, stop drinking tea by just putting the bag in your mouth and chugging hot water!

Leo: I'm a cultured man, I know what I'm doing.