Ron, Talking To The Kids: Never Break Someone's Heart, They Only Have One Of Those. Break Their Bones

During Jason’s crime lord era

Dick: “I’ve pinpointed all the locations where Jason was sighted. Maybe there’s a pattern and we can see where he’ll turn up next.”

Bruce, staring at the map, very clearly spelling “fuck you”: “…There certainly is a pattern.”

Me, refusing to leave tumblr: sir, this is my emotional support hellsite

you know the drill, op disabled reblogs etc etc etc

Random Things Cale Henituse had done Without Context

adopted 14 children in a month

threw money into lava

stole cookies from royalty

scammed a vampire to give him an allowance

ate a rock

set a lake on fire

bribed a prince with poison

impersonated a priest

fed a hobo

stole a tree

dived into a mummy lake

wished to cough blood elegantly

hand-embroidered outfits

served a freaked-out dragon tea

forced a prince to make an MMORPG account

made his enemy wash the dishes

beat up a guy with a rock

fed a tree

commiserated with a god over work-related sleep deprivation

let his kid eat poison

sang creepy hide and seek song

tried to dig a hole in the ground and failed

gave away bones as a present

converted a barbarian with the Power of Friendship

blew up an island (twice)

stripped in front of his bff's uncle

blew up a whirlpool

hugged his arch nemesis

defenestrated a man

got compared to a haystack

strangled a guy with his bare hands

ate a battery

fought a lake

stabbed himself with a stick

...Feel free to keep it going. The weirder and more random the better. Let's see if we can catch all the references lol

It's a work on progress. I'm really tired, maybe I finish it later

that alternate ending version of Under the Red Hood (2010) where Talia gives Damian to Jason for some ungodly reason always makes me laugh because Jason is like. I'm going to turn Bruce's son into something horrible just to spite him and says this while holding an infant that can't be more than a month old, like. no, Jay, you're gonna get two days into surrogate fatherhood before your instincts take over and you're finding a better safe house in a better neighborhood so you can build a proper nursery and get Damian into a proper pre-K when he's older. the pit can't erase the fact you died trying to save the mother who gave you up or the fact that a mother has just given up her son to you. and by the time any of that gets through your red fiberglass skull, you'll find yourself standing in the grocery store deciding whether you should buy Dami a bat stuffie just to be funny

Alberu: can you do a march in February? For the moral of the kingdom

Cale, zoning out: ???

Alberu, used to it: Can. February. March.?

Cale, without hesitation: no, but April May.

*Alberu, thinking about the pros and cons of throwing his brother through the window*

It is possible that somewhere off the coast of Newfoundland there is an iceberg shaped like a giant dick.

*sometime after the Jopis and her dogs incident*

Original meme by sweepswoop_

Ok but Gilbert is so pretty???? He's super pretty and I'm actually pissed we never get much of him! Has he ever even talked!?? Damn it I need him to have more action please he's so freaking beautiful!