HEADCANONS - What Would He Do To Get You In The Mood?

Sorry y'all, fixed the ending! Meds are kicking my ass today

CRAWLING BACK TO YOU

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Word count: 4k

Warnings: drinking, swearing, feelings, friends to lovers trope kind of

Notes: Guys thanks for 400 follows love y'all

Was it possible to get used to a life so bizarrely unusual and different to find it… peaceful? Feeling her lungs fill out with fresh air when in reality every piece of clothing Y/N owned was sprinkled with ash of the wild flame that the Shelby family was?

People were scared of getting burned, naturally. Fading in and out of her life as soon as they'd find out she was associated with Peaky blinders.

At first it bothered her, oh, so much. That people didn't see a thing about her besides her association. Now, she was years into the strange peace she found in one of the most dangerous cities in Britain, with a gun settled in her hand so frequently it fit better than the several sets of leather gloves she owned.

A matter running so deep in her mind, she found herself touching it over and over, sometimes with a glimmer in her eyes.

…or like that day, sitting in the Garrison with her gaze fixated on a glass in her hand. Mentally fiddling with the churning in her stomach as his blue eyes filled her head all over again. The room was as loud as ever, accompanied by both men and women in questionable states of sobriety, laughs and conversations that didn't matter. Not one bit.

An upcoming weekend allowed people of Birmingham to loosen up, shake off the tension from the hard work they've been holding in their tired bones.

Nobody seemed to notice when the door swung open, allowing cold air of a Friday night to seep in. Nobody but her.

Footsteps echoed quietly, going unnoticed in the loud crowd but Y/N knew exactly who came in despite her eyes remaining on her glass of rum.

”Y/N, what do you think about him?” A voice came to her ears suddenly, a slight nudge to her side bringing her out of the weird state.

”Hmm?” She asked before quickly glancing at her friend, gaze looking for clues as to not show her disinterest. Emily rolled her eyes with a sigh, dramatically slumping her shoulders.

”Don’t tell me you just zoned out, again, after I just spent five minutes explaining the matter.” She raised her eyebrows while her blue eyes narrowed for a moment before she sighed again. ”Alright. You're lucky I can't be mad at you. What's wrong?” Y/N’s demeanour seemed to be a little different than usual, and knowing her for so long, Emily immediately picked on it.

Okay, maybe not immediately, she thought, but eventually she got there.

Y/N cleared her throat, a chuckle pushing past her lips before she pushed her glass away.

”Nothing really. I haven't eaten much today, and alcohol hit me harder than usual.” Came out of her mouth so smoothly, despite being just partially true.

”And it absolutely doesn't have anything to do with the pack of wolves you surround yourself with, does it?”

Just like that Y/N loosened up again, laughing at the way Emily always so easily joked about them so lightheartedly, as nobody else would dare. ”Speaking of the devil” she added with a smirk, glancing towards the door. ”Yours just appeared. Right on time as well, because I need to wrap it up and go home. Betty refuses to sleep when I'm not home.” Y/N sighed, feeling bad for not paying attention before Emily had to leave.

”Of course,” She nodded, ”Arthur will drive you home” Y/N said, as usual but Emily shook her head while making a funny face.

”Absolutely not! Send the younger one. Arthur can't seem to understand I'm married,” She rolled her eyes with a giggle as she nudged Y/N’s side. ”I’ll wait outside”

As the taller woman walked away, Y/N threw back the remaining liquor and took a deep breath before she got up, looking around.

Before she spotted the Shelby brothers, she felt a heavy gaze on her back which admittedly made things easier. Turning around, her eyes met Tommy's from the other side of the room. He was sober while she clearly already had a few, her gaze a bit softer around the edges. Making her way to their table, she took a deep breath once again.

”John,” Y/N greeted him first with a smile, “would you kindly drive Emily home tonight?” her speech came out a little smoother than usual, tension from her voice long gone which showed her state, already a bit softened by alcohol.

“I don't mind driving her,” Arthur abruptly interjected.

“No, no that's all right Art you're in no state to drive clearly.” She stated firmly with a hint of humour in her voice. His brows shot up.

”I just had ONE drink! Are you mad?” He asked pretentiously with a huff, making John laugh.

”Seems like you need to try harder, aye!” The younger brother chuckled before getting up and standing by Y/N.

”Sure thing, Darling, but you owe me a drink” He winked, making her roll her eyes playfully.

”Sure thing” She repeated, mockingly.

”Someone already had a few” Tommy interjected suddenly, a hint of teasing in his voice, but one only Y/N could pick up on.

”Oh, and you're here as well” She replied, her gaze meeting his once again with that mischievous glimmer. ”Found time to spend among us, Mr. Shelby?”

Thomas watched her for a moment before slowly but surely one corner of his lips twitched in sort of a smirk.

”Sit down before I kick you out of my pub, eh?” He patted the free space where John was sitting just a few moments ago.

And so she did, ignoring his comment while pouring herself a glass of whisky with a smirk. One thing that never changed between them were their verbal skirmishes. Ever since the young blue eyed boy chased her with a stick dipped in the mud, devilishly proud of himself while at it.

Arthur kept mumbling to himself about the unfairness of the situation, unserious as ever. Pouring himself another drink, he glanced at Y/N, feeling her amused look on him.

”Don’t need me as a driver, so let the man be, would you?” He threw in a snarky remark with a hint of amusement, to which she lifted her hands in the air in a gesture of surrender.

”Wouldn’t dare to tell you what to do, old man”

a smirk slowly spread on his face and so the game began all over again. Soon John came back along with other Blinders crowding the table as they drank, talked and had fun just like always while making sure everything in the pub was going just fine.

Y/N’s nonchalant, easygoing aura was strong as ever when Tommy's eyes drifted towards her every now and then. Time was passing by quickly when they had fun simultaneously drinking.

Nights like these were secretly meaningful to all the Shelby's, giving them space and time to forget for a little while about the heavy responsibilities and dangers of their day to day life. It was one of the instances where people could see Tommy slightly let his guard down as the alcohol affected his mind, causing him to behave more freely in a less controlled environment.

A lazy smile appeared on Y/N’s face as she chuckled listening to the colourful stories, obviously enhanced into dramatic details to be more entertaining. She liked seeing them like this, these fleeting moments of freedom making each of the men by the table turn into these young boys she used to know long years ago without the scarring of life they all carried nowadays.

Reaching for a pack of cigarettes sitting on the table, Y/N plucked one for Tommy, putting it into his hand out of habit without even thinking. One of those things she'd do even under the influence, with her better judgement clouded almost completely.

Without looking at her, Tommy put it between his lips, reaching for matches to light her cigarette before his own. The gestures were so natural nobody even noticed.

Putting the little box back on a table, Thomas let his hand fall down, landing on her thigh as his fingers began slowly stroking her soft skin mindlessly as he spoke to Isaiah across the table.

Her eyes drifted briefly on his face, grazing over his strong features and the way his lips remained formed in a relaxed smile as he spoke when suddenly another person got her attention.

A man in the background, about ten feet away from them, stood with a woman, kissing her cheek as she hugged him quickly before disappearing in the crowd.

His familiar features and cocky grin immediately sparked her interest, as she recognised Paul, a good friend of hers who happened to be delivering ingredients to her bakery everyday.

Seeing her, he moved closer before finally standing by the table.

“Evening, Y/N” He spoke up, nodding towards the men who quickly realized he was familiar with her, so not a bother. ”Care to go for a smoke with me?” He suggested, shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat. His light hair dishevelled, eyes shiny from the small amount of alcohol he had as well.

Tommy's hand remained on her thigh, only slipping away as she moved towards the exit.

”Lead the way” She responded, grabbing her coat as well as her eyes briefly met John's who was clearly having a good time tormenting her whenever a man would show any interest.

”See you tomorrow then, aye, Y/N?” John called after her with mischief in his voice followed by a chuckle from Arthur.

She just shook her head with amusement before they disappeared through the door.

Tommy straightened his back, reaching for another cigarette to light, nodding to Isaiah to pour another drink.

”Well..” John started off, clearing his throat, ”At least someone gets some action today” elbowing his brother to the side he laughed, reminding Arthur of the failure in pursuing Emily. One of many.

”Already told you to fuck off, didn't I?” He responded, rolling his eyes before shoving him back.

Tommy remained quiet, his mood taking a hit from Y/N’s abrupt exit with another fella. His emotions usually kept at bay, now strengthened by the alcohol, grew to an alarming size in his head.

Throwing back another glass of whisky he relaxed into the seat once again, barely listening to the conversation as he zoned out, consumed by his contradictory thoughts.

Not long after he decided enough was enough, raising from the seat slowly, letting his brothers know he'd be going back home as tomorrow he had business to attend, as usual. It took a moment for his eyes to regain focus as whisky affected him a bit more than usual, perhaps because once again he forgot to eat anything substantial throughout the day.

Saying his goodbyes Tommy pulled his cap onto his head, walking through the crowd as people parted, not wanting to disrespect the mobster.

Cold air of the night hit him as soon as the door swung open, his eyes getting used to the darkness fairly quickly as he gazed towards his vehicle, simultaneously searching for keys in his pocket.

Making his way to the car he squinted, trying to grasp the right key which was a bit of a challenge in his current state. Getting a hold of the right one, he suddenly dropped the keys hearing a familiar voice behind his back.

”You’re absolutely not driving in this state” Y/N said, grabbing his arm.

”Fuck!” Tommy groaned, eyeing the fallen item. He could barely see them, wiping his eyes he turned towards Y/N. ”I dropped my fucking keys” He informed her, as if she wasn't a witness to this situation.

His balance was slightly off as he narrowed his cloudy eyes, obviously blaming her for what just happened. His drunken state made Y/N unable to hold in a giggle as she rolled her eyes stepping closer. Bending over she grabbed them, choosing the right key as she opened the door on the driver's side, slipping into the seat.

He stood there, his brows raised in a question which she immediately answered.

“I told you. You're not driving. Get into the car before you'll have to walk.” Her voice was lighthearted as she held his gaze.

Thomas tilted his head to the side, the small hint of bitterness making it through his exterior.

”Don’t you have places to be?” He asked, obviously hinting at the man she left with, making Y/N roll her eyes once again on his dramatics.

”Tommy get in the car” She repeated, knowing there was no point in arguing with him over whatever In his current state.

He stood for another longer moment before finally sighing and making his way around to the other side, sitting on the passenger seat. Tilting his head back he let it rest, closing his eyes.

Y/N let her eyes linger on his face for a moment before taking a deep breath and starting the engine.

They didn't say a word throughout the whole drive, and only later she realized Tommy fell asleep. Parking the car she leaned closer, touching his shoulder.

”Come on, let's get inside” She whispered, watching as he slowly opened his eyes in an awfully adorable way.

She bit back the smile as he nodded, mumbling something before climbing out of the car.

She grabbed his arm wanting to help him walk, but he pulled it back, telling her he was perfectly capable of walking alone. Stubborn as always.

A couple minutes later she shed her coat, pulling his own off of him as well along with the cap, making him roll his eyes.

”You realize I'm not that drunk, eh?” He asked, seeing her behaviour.

”I’m not allowed to help, am I?” She shot back, grabbing his hand as she pulled him towards the stairs leading up to his bedroom. ”Oh, and by the way, no. I've got no places to be so I'm staying over.” She stated, completely unfazed and with enough attitude to make him laugh out loud.

”Good to know” He replied, letting her pull him along. Despite his stubbornness, they both knew it happened more times than they'd be able to count. Their relationship was so specific in ways other people wouldn't understand… and neither of them seemed to be ready to admit it.

Thomas was on the edge of bed, groaning as he took off his boots. Y/N walked across the room, opening the wardrobe as she found her own shelf.

He watched her as she pulled out his shirt and her shorts, knowing well she'd be sleeping in this set. Thomas realized he couldn't remember the time before she was in his life. Before the top shelf was hers, filled with pieces of clothing he never cared to move.

She moved around so confidently, knowing exactly where everything was. It brought him a weird sense of comfort, even though his face remained in a neutral expression as she looked back.

”Do you need help changing or are you perfectly capable of doing that too, Mr. Shelby?” She asked, matching his neutral expression along with a professional tone of voice, obviously teasing him.

He shook his head slightly, letting out a sigh as he finally smirked. Looking at her for a longer moment, Tommy let his eyes linger on her body before meeting her eyes again.

”Are you trying to take advantage of me, Dove?” He asked, his voice clearly lower and with intent as he gave her the smile, one he learned long ago worked on women ever since he was a boy.

Y/N chuckled, approaching him to the point where he had to tilt his head back so their eyes could meet. Leaning down to his level, she started unbuttoning his shirt.

”I wouldn't dare” Her voice was calm, even though she felt everything but calm seeing him looking at her like this. Unable to put up the walls that usually surrounded him when he was sober. The tension seemed to grow rapidly as she was halfway down, eyes focused on the task but Tommy's gaze had her face turn slightly red which was not visible in the dim light luckily.

Stepping back, she looked up at him.

”You take care of that, and I'm going to change. Try not to fall, eh?” She teased with a smirk, walking into the bathroom.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Y/N took a deep breath, leaning forward as she needed a moment. She was very aware of the tension surrounding them the whole night and as she stood in front of him, with his eyes gazing at her this way, it felt more dangerous than ever before despite the fact they were bordering on this line for years now.

Everything felt stronger lately and she was.. more anxious than anything.

Looking up she caught her reflection, silently grazing over her face and body before sighing deeply as she turned around, swiftly changing into his shirt and her shorts.

Returning to the room, she looked up to check whether he was sleeping and surprisingly, Tommy was laying on the bed, shirtless and wearing only his undergarments. His arm was draped over his head, eyes closed but the tension in his shoulders was visible. Y/N knew he wasn't sleeping, but she didn't want to risk anything more after today so she let him be, turning off the lights as she moved around the bed, slipping on the other side.

His bed was big, more than big enough for the two of them. Y/N and Tommy never had an issue sleeping together even back when they were teenagers, sharing a bed in his small room in Small Heath.

She covered herself with a blanket, facing away from him for a while, attempting to get comfortable but the silence was deafening. She heard him move and turn as well, looking for a position comfortable enough to sleep in. Minutes were passing and Y/N was still wide awake, unable to even close her eyes for longer than a moment with the amount of thoughts running through her head.

The clock was ticking, and she looked through the big window, moonlight seeping in through the blinds and she still yet to be comfortable enough to feel even remotely tired.

Eventually the frustration took over and she sighed with annoyance, slowly sitting up. Y/N desperately wanted to sleep, as it would be the easy way out. Making it to the morning and hoping the infatuation would pass or fade away into something more bearable, just like always.

The moon looked beautiful that night, she thought, as she heard him move in a different way this time. The mattress dipped closer and she felt him sitting right behind her, the warmth of his body contrasting to the coldness of her hands caused by anxiety.

Her heart started thumping wildly in her chest, the anticipation almost took much to handle, shivers running down her spine as his breath touched her skin.

Yet she didn't dare to look at him, stubbornly keeping her eyes fixated on the view while he moved closer.

After a longer moment his fingers grasped her chin, making her look at him. Tommy felt the stirring too, somewhere in his chest, and the desperation seemed completely impossible to escape.

Forcing her to look at him, he moved closer. His face seemed even more unreal that way, kissed by the moonlight in the middle of the night causing her to sigh weakly.

He didn't move either, not for a while as they watched, fixated like it was the very first time, even though they knew each other’s features by heart. From her chin his fingers moved to cup her cheek instead, feeling the subtle warmth of her skin.

Lost in the moment Y/N sighed, his face so close to her own she could see every detail. Every scar and freckle decorating his skin. Her lips parted slightly as she tried to catch a breath, but his presence and warmth felt so.. overwhelming in a way she couldn't describe. A warmth she grew to associate with safety while simultaneously feeling like she's gambling every time they're close.

His arms wrapped around her tighter, pulling her on his lap with one hand holding her hip while the other cupped her cheek so roughly. Delicate caresses of his calloused fingers feeling better than she cared to admit. She couldn't think properly while his firm chest was pressed against her soft bosom, his lips ghosting over her jaw.

”Y/N” He whispered, Tommy's hot breath against her skin making her shiver and her eyes fall shut.

She moved her hand on top of his, trying to ground herself. Chaotic snippets of moments and thoughts running through her puzzled mind as her core ached for his touch.

”Look at me” He spoke again, tilting her head down to look him in the eyes. His own were barely open, pupils blown out with need as he stared at her with something she couldn't really understand. Failing to keep herself at bay, Y/N slowly leaned down, their breaths mingling and noses touched. She could feel the ghost of his soft lips touching hers, but couldn't quite force herself to let him have her. Again.

“Why do you keep doing this?” She whispered breathlessly, her other hand grasping his shoulder so hard she thought he might bruise.

Thomas' breath hitched, and he stopped moving for a moment, frozen as he realized the sense of her question. His heart began racing but he kept holding her so close, panting against her lips as he tried to search for an answer in his mind, which now seemed to be.. empty.

Y/N squeezed her eyes painfully hard waiting for an answer that seemed to never come before letting go of his shoulder with a humourless chuckle. Pulling his hands away from her she raised from his lap, quickly fixing her blouse before grabbing her black coat from the chair.

”Y/N” He spoke up, his voice gravely with disappointment aimed nowhere but at himself. ”Y/N, don't go” Tommy tried to convince, attempting to grasp her wrist but she slipped easily, seemingly between his fingers.

Like she always did.

”Goodnight, Tommy”

~~~

The whole next day Y/N threw herself into a bunch of work, whether it was around the house or finishing up the new recipes she prepared to introduce in her bakery the upcoming week.

By the end of the day she was covered in flour, but her apartment was squeaky clean. Her hair was a complete mess when she saw herself in the mirror, making her chuckle. She was physically tired but mentally proud of herself for taking her mind off of the blue eyed man so successfully.

…and then her phone rang. It was late, way too late for any other person to call, so subconsciously she knew it was him. Silently cursing herself for it, she picked up.

”Hello?” Y/N asked nevertheless but she didn't hear anything else for a moment before he cleared his throat.

”Because I can't force myself to let you go” Thomas spoke up, his words a little blurred, gravelly with the weight of his confession. ”...and I'm tired of pretending. This needs to end.” A moment of silence seemed to stretch into eternity, but Tommy knew she was listening. He could hear her breathing. As Y/N finally found some words, wanting to respond, he hang up.

She stood there, frozen for a couple moments, holding the phone as if he was still on the other side. What are you talking about, she wanted to ask, but Y/N knew what he meant. Despite her asking yesterday, it intimidated her a little to hear it from him. They never confronted each other before, but.. her heart swelled with the emotion she was never able to express before.

Suddenly a loud knock on the door came to her ears, her heart froze still for a moment before she opened it.

His eyes were bright, raw and vulnerable as he held her eye contact.

“Can I come in?”

the way that there's a part of me that wishes Cillian had gone through a "so my kids could watch it" phase when his sons were born and maybe chose some roles that were a bit gentler??? softer??? easier to watch??? rather than his usual fare of Movies About The Most Stressful Situation Imaginable because sometimes I want to watch something with Cillian in it but I also want to like... chill the fuck out for once in my life

Take care we have been checking everyday for updates 💕✨❄️

🥹

I greatly appreciate all of you. ❤️

Can't wait for more🥰🥰🥰

After Hours

Part 15

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

The smile still hadn’t left her face.

When Y/N had answered the door twenty minutes earlier, the delivery man had barely been able to see over the top of the arrangement as he’d greeted her and then handed her the vase. Her eyes had widened in momentary shock as she saw the flowers, and she kindly thanked the delivery man as he’d handed them off to her.

“Someone thinks you’re pretty special,” he’d said to her with a friendly wink, and Y/N had blushed before thanking him again and then heading back inside her apartment. Setting the vase down on her kitchen counter, she then reached for the accompanying message card and carefully pulled it from its small envelope.

Impatiently waiting for 7 o’clock...

Love, Robert

An enormous smile spread across Y/N’s face and her heart skipped a beat as she looked down at the card and his familiar handwriting. She then looked again at the incredibly beautiful, lavish bouquet of two dozen red roses perfectly arranged in the sparkling glass vase, and as she re-read the note, she smiled once more and bit her lip in giddy anticipation.

Tonight, they were finally going on an official date, and to say Y/N was also impatient for 7 o’clock would be a drastic understatement.

Last night, when they’d finally been reunited at the club, they’d found it incredibly difficult to part ways, but Robert was determined to do things right and wanted to take Y/N on an actual first date. Then, he could treat her like the queen that she was and they wouldn’t have to rush through any of it. They could savor finally being able to be together.

Walking hand in hand to the door of the dressing room, Robert had stopped at the threshold and then turned to Y/N, the two of them lightly pressed together as they’d lingered in the doorframe.

“Promise me you’ll write it in your planner as soon as you get home,” Robert said, referring to their date, and he’d looked at her with a smile. “Then I’ll feel assured that it’s actually going to happen.”

Smiling back up at him, Y/N hummed out a little laugh.

“Believe me, I don’t need the planner,” she’d said softly, shaking her head.

Smiling again, Robert leaned forward and tilted his head, softly kissing her once more before reluctantly pulling away. When he did, he held her eyes.

“Promise?” he’d said to her.

“I promise,” Y/N assured him warmly, and then she’d mirrored his action and leaned forward, placing a final small, reassuring kiss on his lips.

“Goodnight,” Robert said when they parted again.

“Goodnight,” she’d whispered back, and although Robert stepped away then, they didn’t immediately drop hands, Y/N’s palm only slipping from Robert’s after he’d taken a few more steps and they were no longer able to hold on. They looked at each other a final time and shared one last smile before Robert then forced himself to walk through the door in the hallway and back out into the club.

Now, looking at the beautiful flowers again, Y/N smiled and bit her lip once more in giddy happiness. She almost couldn’t believe everything that had transpired between her and Robert over the last several weeks, and it felt surreal that they had actually gotten to this point and finally admitted their feelings to each other. She remembered just weeks ago not knowing that Robert felt the same as she did and thinking nothing could ever happen between them, and then all the emotional torture that had followed until last night. It had been a crazy little ride, but she was unspeakably happy that the truth had finally come out and everything had turned out like it had.

And with that thought, Y/N had a call to make. 

Sitting down on the sofa, she grabbed her phone and pressed the contact before hearing two rings and then the call being answered.

“Why are you calling me and not getting ready for your evening with Mr. Fischer?” came Jason’s voice.

Smiling, Y/N replied.

“That’s not for another eight hours.”

“Isn’t that how long you need to get ready?”

Laughing, Y/N shook her head to herself.

“No, I only need five, so it’s a little early,” she replied jokingly.

“And let me guess, you’re hoping I’ll come over and distract you for a few hours?”

“That would be correct,” Y/N smiled and chuckled again.

“I’m on my way,” Jason said.

When he arrived twenty minutes later, Jason’s eyes were immediately drawn to the large bouquet of roses on Y/N’s counter, and when he read the accompanying card, he looked at Y/N and smiled.

“Do you know where he's taking you tonight?” he asked.

"No," Y/N replied with a shake of her head. "He told me that he wants it to be a surprise. But when I asked him if a cocktail dress would be the right kind of thing to wear, he said yes, so..."

"I'm sure he's taking you somewhere unspeakably fancy and expensive," replied Jason.

Y/N shook her head.

"I just can't believe this is even happening," Y/N said as she looked at Jason, the two of them walking into her living room and sitting on the couch. 

“I need to thank you,” she continued, speaking again after they sat down. “What you did for me, Jason, is something I don’t think I could repay you for. And I’m not just saying that in regard to how you helped Robert and I clear everything up. I’m saying it also about the fact that you stood up for me the way you did. Because even if nothing had changed with the situation with Robert, the fact that you did what you did is so beyond supportive.”

Jason smiled as Y/N looked at him.

"You've always been just as supportive of me,” he said to her. “When I came out to my family and they wouldn’t talk to me for months. Or when Kevin and I broke up and you let me live with you. When I was depressed and could barely function, and you kept me smiling. You’ve always been there for me when I needed it most. So, consider what I did just paying you back for all that."

Y/N shook her head.

"Payback was never necessary. I hope you know that."

"I do,” Jason smiled. “But also, in this case, I had no choice. You and Robert were both behaving like such idiots that I had to intervene for my own sanity.”

Laughing and smiling back at him, Y/N leaned forward and gave Jason a warm hug.

"Thank you for being the best friend anyone could ever ask for," she said to him.

Hugging Y/N back, Jason replied.

"Ditto," he said.

After releasing each other, Jason looked back over his shoulder at the flowers Robert had sent Y/N, and then he looked to her again.

"You know, when he was leaving the club last night, he said something similar to me.”

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked.

“Before he left the club last night, he stopped to thank me,” explained Jason. “He said that he didn’t know how he could ever repay me for helping you two work things out, and when I jokingly said that a Porsche would be nice, he offered to call the salesman he knows at the Porsche dealership. I mean, he knew I was joking, but he was still seriously prepared to call the guy.”

Laughing again, Y/N shook her head.

“Well, it’s not a Porsche, but I do have something I can offer you as a token of thanks,” she said, getting up from the couch and walking to the kitchen to grab a foil-covered plate from her countertop.

“Will double-fudge brownies suffice?” she asked Jason with a smile as she moved back to the couch and held the plate out to him.

Looking up at Y/N with a smile, Jason replied.

“Lucky for you, I like chocolate better than I like luxury cars.”

•.•.•.•.•

All while she was getting ready that evening, Y/N could not stop smiling to herself. She still could hardly believe she was finally going on a date with Robert, and her heart kept skipping in thrilled nervousness.

It was such a unique situation, because while they both had already expressed that they loved each other, which was absolutely true, this was the first time they’d ever be allowing themselves to behave in a way that reflected that. Up until last night, their interactions had never been romantic, and Y/N was absolutely giddy and almost in disbelief that she and Robert were finally going to be able to be that way with each other.

As the last minutes ticked away before 7:00 p.m., Y/N was nearly done getting ready and went into the bathroom to give herself a final check in the mirror. She’d done her makeup a bit more dramatically than she would do for work, and she’d styled her hair in long, loose curls. She’d chosen a deep teal dress with a floral pattern, the skirt long but ruched on one side, and the straps sitting off the shoulder.

As she looked at herself, she blushed uncontrollably as she remembered that, although she hadn’t known it at the time, Robert had already seen her in much less. She literally winced in embarrassment as she recalled the sultry black lingerie she’d had on when he’d apparently been at the club the very first time.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want him to see her like that eventually, but it was all still just kind of embarrassing. He’d found out she performed without her knowing, and he’d seen much more of her than he ever would have seen yet under normal circumstances. She knew he hadn’t done it to embarrass her, but she just felt kind of self-conscious about the whole thing. Not because she was ashamed, but it was just a side of her that Robert had seen before she’d been prepared to share it with him, before they’d even confessed their feelings.

Y/N didn’t know how or if they’d address it, but she tried not to think about it too much. What mattered is that they had gotten to this point now.

After applying her lipstick and slipping her feet in her shoes, she had just finished putting on her earrings and fastening her necklace around her neck when her buzzer rang. Her heart pounding, she pressed her intercom to allow Robert into the lobby, telling him she’d be right down.

After hearing Y/N on the intercom and entering the lobby of her building, Robert once again could hardly believe tonight was finally happening. He’d wanted this with Y/N for so long, and he tried to calm his nerves as he stood in the lobby.

Just as he’d written in the note he’d included with her flowers, he'd been impatiently waiting all day for tonight. While it had been an absolutely torturous past two weeks when he had thought he’d ruined his chance with her and that there was no fixing it, it was absolutely worth it for the fact that he and Y/N had finally admitted their feelings for each other and were now at this point. He’d willingly go through it all again if it meant the same outcome. 

And now, Robert was nervous yet also indescribably elated that the two of them were finally going to be able to pursue this. While they already confessed that they loved each other, it was almost like everything was happening in reverse order. You were supposed to date first, and then fall in love, but because of their unique situation, he and Y/N had done it backwards. They already knew so much about each other, were already in love, but until now, they'd never been able to express that. 

As he waited in the lobby, Robert absentmindedly reached up and fiddled with the knot of his tie. It was the tie he owned that always reminded him of Y/N, as she'd helped him clean a stain out of it one day right before a big meeting they'd had together.

Yet again recalling the situation, Robert smiled to himself as he remembered the way Y/N had hurriedly yanked it out of his hand after he'd removed it and quickly grabbed a small bottle of club soda from the table of refreshments in the meeting room that no one else had occupied yet. After returning from the ladies' room after cleaning the stain and drying the tie under the hand dryer, Y/N had stepped back up to Robert and reached forward to loop it back around his neck. As Robert re-tightened the knot, their eyes had met when Y/N had her hands on his collar, fixing it over the tie for him without even thinking. Suddenly realizing halfway through her actions what she was doing, Y/N had blushed as she'd dropped her hands from his neck and stepped back.

As soon as she'd created space between them, the other meeting attendees began filtering into the room, but Robert had caught Y/N's eyes a final time and thanked her, and she'd given him the sweetest little smile before they were both forced to turn their attention to the meeting. It was a moment between them that Robert would never forget, as he'd felt such intimacy between them which he'd wondered if Y/N had felt, too. Of course, she had, but at that time, neither of them could admit it.

Now, finally, they didn't have to push those feelings down.

Y/N on one side of the elevator doors and Robert on the other, each of them took a final deep breath in an attempt to calm their nerves as the anticipation that had been building since last night would finally be over. And when the elevator slowed to a stop and Y/N's arrival at the lobby was signaled by the ding of the bell, both she and Robert were both still nervous, but also more than ready.

After so long, they were finally going to be able to be together.

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Sorry I left you on read for 3 months, I was stuck in an endless self isolation and self destruction cycle bc I thought I deserved to be alone. (It will probably happen again.)

The Vampire Diaries | 2009 1.03 Friday Night Bites

Enemies with Benefits

Part 17: 1 of 2

Previous part here

I’m breaking this part up into two smaller parts because I just couldn’t wait to share more with you guys; I hope you’re all cool with that!

***!!!Warning: mentions of military service, hintings of PTSD!!!***

…………………………………………………………………………….

“Do you still think about it a lot?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you still think about it a lot?”

“Do I still think about what, love?”

Lying together in his bed, Tommy and Y/N were wrapped in each other, snuggled as close together as possible. His arm was around her while his hand tenderly stroked through her hair, and Y/N’s head was nestled on Tommy’s chest, her fingers softly running along his skin. She absentmindedly traced along the lines of the tattoo on his pec, and they’d been silent for a while, basking in the bliss of finally being together. It was now nearly morning, but the sky was still dark, and it still felt as if they were the only two people in the world, and Y/N hadn’t been able to resist asking the question.

“When you were in the army; when you were deployed,” Y/N clarified quietly, her head still resting on his chest. “Is it something you still think about a lot?”

Y/N felt Tommy tense underneath her, and she stopped tracing along his chest and laid her palm softly against him instead. When he didn’t answer right away, she then shifted to lift her head and look at him, and when he met her eyes, her voice was soft again.

“Polly told me, the morning after the robbery,” she explained. “And I saw your tags on the shelf last night.”

When Tommy still didn’t say anything, Y/N began to feel nervous. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly began again, looking down and fiddling with the bedsheet. “I understand if it’s a sensitive subject, and we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I just...” she lifted her eyes and looked at him again. “I want to really know you, Tommy, and your past is part of who you are.”

Silently looking back at Y/N for another moment, Tommy was battling the issue of not wanting to talk about that part of his life and processing the unbelievable rush of emotion he felt for Y/N at her statement.

He’d gotten closer to her than he’d ever gotten to any other woman. Frankly, she was the first woman he’d ever wanted to give true consideration to. Rather than a cookie-cutter girl who had no real substance and was only useful for scratching an itch, Y/N was a breed all her own. She was the elusive perfect woman for him that Tommy had imagined in some of his darkest times, but who he didn’t think he’d actually find until he’d met her, and he felt something within himself soften whenever they were together.

But there were aspects of Tommy’s life that Y/N wasn’t going to learn about or get to the bottom of in a single conversation, or even many. It would still take plenty of time and silent patience before Tommy would possibly fully open up to her or reveal those parts.

“Forget it. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Y/N said with a shake of her head when he still hadn’t answered her, but as she began to pull away to give him some space, Tommy reached out and stopped her.

“It’s alright, love,” he said as he stroked her cheek. “It’s not exactly a secret.”

“It was a big part of your life,” Y/N replied, trying to softly encourage him to talk.

Tommy dismissively shook his head and shrugged a shoulder.

“It’s not important,” he said, wanting to downplay it.

“Yes, it is,” Y/N replied, not wanting to push him but not liking the fact that he brushed it off like that. “It’s a part of what shaped you; of who you are. And from what Polly told me, you were quite determined, for multiple reasons.”

“Polly likes to harp on things for the sake of being dramatic, even when they’re not important,” Tommy said, still trying to downplay it all.

“Tommy...”

He huffed out an exhale then, wanting to give Y/N something to appease her, but not wanting to focus on it for long.

“It was just something I chose to do,” Tommy said then. “I had anger and energy from a shit childhood that I didn’t know how to channel, and no other place to go. University wasn’t for me, and I figured I should at least make myself useful to someone, and so there you go.”

Y/N looked at him.

“Was it awful?” she asked then.

“It wasn’t a holiday,” Tommy answered simply, and she could tell he didn’t want to elaborate. “But I wasn’t useful anywhere else.”

“I highly doubt that,” Y/N said. “From what Polly told me, you were useful even before the army. Trying to take care of everyone; trying to make things better. That’s a lot of weight to carry, especially when you were so young.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Tommy answered.

“Yes, you did,” Y/N replied. “You didn’t have to shoulder that responsibility, but you did. And you could have just allowed yourself to stay angry, to choose a different path that could have been destructive, to let things stay as they were and just be mad. But you didn’t. You took it upon yourself to be better, to take steps to make sure your family was taken care of. Don’t belittle that, Tommy.”

From what small amount of knowledge she had on someone in his position, Y/N did know that Tommy’s dismissive attitude and downplaying of his past was a common behavior among veterans. But she sensed that it didn’t just stem from his military experience, but also from just who he was as a person. She knew he was determined, devoted, and fiercely protective of those he cared about. He always made sure everyone else was alright, but didn’t put any importance on himself because he always felt like he still wasn’t good enough, and like he still could or should be doing more.

Leaning forward and softly stroking his chest again, Y/N knew she shouldn’t push him any further right now.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to push you,” she said softly as she looked at him. “But just know that if you ever feel like sharing anything with me, or even if you just need someone to listen and not say anything, I’m here...and I think you’re very important.”

After a brief pause as he looked in her eyes, Tommy wrapped a hand around the back of Y/N’s neck and pulled her to him, their lips meeting for a passionate kiss as they each tried to wordlessly convey the feelings growing between them.

When they parted, Tommy stroked Y/N’s cheek as he smiled at her, and when she reached up and brushed a piece of his hair off his forehead, Tommy reached down and slowly ran the palm of his free hand back and forth over her bare bottom.

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself, Mr. Shelby,” Y/N teased him and gave him another quick peck.

“Well, let’s see, I have a sweet, beautiful, pistol of a woman lying naked in my bed, who can’t resist me and completely falls apart when I touch her, so I’d say I have plenty to be pleased about.”

Blushing and pushing away from Tommy in a feeble attempt to outdo him, Y/N spoke with a sheepish little smile as she pulled the bedsheet more tightly around herself.

“I do not fall apart, and I can totally resist you,” she insisted unconvincingly with another blush, scooting further away from him.

At that, Tommy rolled over after her and peeled the sheet from her body with little resistance before positioning himself above her and grabbing her wrists, pinning her in place. Y/N’s heart immediately began pounding again and she squirmed in pleasure as Tommy nosed along her neck and then kissed her there, his growing erection pressing against her pussy, which was immediately wet again.

“Oh, really?” he said tauntingly as he rocked his hips into hers and she moaned, arching up to meet his thrust. “Then why do I already have you moaning, and you’ve already drenched my cock again, hmm?”

He sensually kissed her neck again and rocked his hips once more, and Y/N whined as she tried to feel him exactly where she wanted, her wrists still in his grasp.

“Tommy…” she breathed out, the same desperation in her voice as there had been all night.

“That sounds pretty desperate to me,” he said to her teasingly as he looked down at her. “Now, are you going to keep up the charade, or do you just want me to fuck you?”

Speechless, Y/N just thrusted her hips up to him again, biting her lip in need as their eyes met and she silently begged him. Smirking, Tommy shook his head and spoke before slipping deeply inside her.

“Well, it was a valiant effort, love,” he said.

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i didn't believe deep down in these claims but wouldnt want to get blasted. good to know your back

- 🐬

'ppreciate it greatly🥷🏼