Fyodor Has Kitty Panties ⊙⁠.⁠☉

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' pouted]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that you are like a cute golden retriever tho?]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that golden retrievers are very cute so you are very cute!]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' greets you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks you are like a big puppy]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' finds you cute]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 100 coins]

Oh! Hello!

(As he reads your message, a blush crawls up his neck. He scratches the back of his head.)

Aha, it's not funny to joke like that, Constellation Random Dyslexic Reader. I'd say those kinds of compliments should go to Jung Heewon-ssi, haha.

Thank you for the coins, though!

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' will try their best not to kill but wonders if maiming is allowed]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is using a hand blender to blend all the ingredients in the pot together]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at you!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is asking if you would like to make a meal together!]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is surprised!]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is a bit nervous]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' accepted the invitation]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' did a happy little dancy dance]

[yyyaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy! ヾ(๑╹ヮ╹๑)ﾉ”]

❲You have completed the sub-scenario❳

❲reward: 10000000, Yoo Joonghyuk in chinese dress and garter belt plush❳

[hope you enjoy the plush! ⁽⁽ (๑˃̶͈̀ ᗨ ˂̶͈́) ⁾⁾]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[I AM BACK! ✧⁺⸜(●˙▾˙●)⸝⁺✧]

[AND! I made something! ˶╹ꇴ╹˶ ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 'tomato scrambled egg dish']

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' spent some probability to create a scenario]

[a new scenario has arrived!]

❲Category - sub

Difficulty - F

Description - take a bite of 'tomato scrambled egg dish'

Reward - 10000000 coins, a Yoo Joonghyuk in chinese dress and garter belt plush

Failure - you'll make Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cry❳

[try a bite pretty please? I tried so hard and spent so long making it just the way my mama makes it ( ≖⃙⃚᷄ ⍘ ≖⃙⃚᷅ )]

[you don't even need to take a bite of the tomato! you can just take a bite if the scrambled egg! Pretty please? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚]

(He stared with complete wariness, grimacing as he stared down at the dish.)

.. There aren't any tomatoes inside the egg, are there..?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' shook their head]

[they're actually pretty separated ( ‘-ωก̀ )]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[I AM BACK! ✧⁺⸜(●˙▾˙●)⸝⁺✧]

[AND! I made something! ˶╹ꇴ╹˶ ]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 'tomato scrambled egg dish']

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' spent some probability to create a scenario]

[a new scenario has arrived!]

❲Category - sub

Difficulty - F

Description - take a bite of 'tomato scrambled egg dish'

Reward - 10000000 coins, a Yoo Joonghyuk in chinese dress and garter belt plush

Failure - you'll make Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cry❳

[try a bite pretty please? I tried so hard and spent so long making it just the way my mama makes it ( ≖⃙⃚᷄ ⍘ ≖⃙⃚᷅ )]

[you don't even need to take a bite of the tomato! you can just take a bite if the scrambled egg! Pretty please? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚]

(He stared with complete wariness, grimacing as he stared down at the dish.)

.. There aren't any tomatoes inside the egg, are there..?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' shrugs]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that they don't mind if you invite them as long as they stop being a big meanie]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at you will confusion and worry!]

Are you being bullied by the tsundere?

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' tilted their head]

[if you mean Constellation 'Weaver Of Deceptive Fates' then maybe? (・・。)ゞ]

[they gave me money for some reason tho so now I'm just confused o(´^｀)o]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' cheers and happily noms on the orange]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at you]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist has a question!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is asking, on a scale of one to ten, how gay do you think your boyfriend thinks your are.]

bold of you to assume i have a boyfriend

or that anyone willingly dates me

also—what kind of scale is this

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' disagrees]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks that Constellation 'Secretive Plotter' wouldn't mind]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' thinks that Constellation 'Secretive Plotter' would actually be quite happy to]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' sponsored 200 coins]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' says that they had just seen the stuff about Incarnation 'Kim Dokja' and Constellation 'Secretive Plotter' and thinks that this is the start of a beautiful love story]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' asks when will the relationship be official]

(He immediately turns a bright red, looking away.)

Relationship?? We're not going to date, I'm sure he wouldn't date someone like me anyway-

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' pouted]

[why do people always scold me for having a potty mouth it's not even that big of a deal! ಠ⁠ ⁠೧⁠ ⁠ಠ]

[also! I was just asking who you are! No need to be so rude (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is sulking]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is waving hello to Constellation Foolish Lurker!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is grinning and insists that they will do as best as they can as a parent, and that it will be difficult, but worth the struggle if it means the egg can grow up happy and healthy!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is asking if Constellation Foolish Lurker is willing to be their coparent, if they are so obivously worried about the egg!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at Constalation Observer of Lifetimes!]

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is looking at a particular eye with curiosity!]

Observer, how is it that your little eyes seem to have no mouths and yet still find the capacity to talk sh--

[Constellation Bored Anarchist is being dragged away!]

You constellations never stop fighting, do you..

I NEED a fic of this

The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.

We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense for the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.

I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.

Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!

Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.

Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")

People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.

"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from an indignated Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.

Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)

Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?

(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)

When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.

First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")

Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.

"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"

"A-Luo please stop talking."

Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)

He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.

Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!

But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?

Luo Binghe's is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.

(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)

I don't even know where I'm going with this

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' pouts but let it be]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' ask how does society work here?]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about other immortals from different worlds]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' is curious about you]

[Constellation 'Random Dyslexic Reader' asks if you are a god as well?]

As well? Who else do you claim to be a god?

No one calls me a god, including myself, but if they were to worship me, I doubt I'd be a benevolent diety