If Your Angst Ship Doesn’t Fit:

Marauders era characters and their heights

— The Marauders

James Potter - 6’2 (both parents are quite tall)

Remus Lupin - 6’4 (father is really tall, mother is just above average)

Sirius Black - 5’8 (father is below average, mother is average)

Peter Pettigrew - 5’7 (both parents are below average)

— The Valkyries

Lily Evans - 5’5 (father is barely average, mother is below average)

Marlene McKinnon - 5’8 (father is above average, mother is average)

Mary McDonald - 5’4 (both parents are average)

— The Emeralds / Skittle Squad

Regulus Black - 5’8 1/2 - (father is below average, mother is average)

Pandora Lovegood-Rosier - 5’6 (both parents are average)

Evan Rosier-Lovegood - 5’9 (both parents are average)

Dorcas Meadows - 5’10 (both parents are above average)

Barty Crouch Jr - 5’9 (both parents are average)

Luna: alright, here is my $7.50, but I think you should know that the money is cursed.

Ginny & Ron: what?

Luna: Oh, I cursed it!

Hermione: and by that you mean..?

Luna: so bad things will happen to he who spends it

Harry: ah that’s alright, bad things happen to me anyway

“Guilty as Sin” IS Sirius Black’s song while he was in Azkaban thinking about Remus Lupin.

Sirius: but they’ll take a man that can’t read!

Remus: I can read!

Remus: I can read.. just not very well..

Guys what if I told you that James Potter’s lover(s) always sit in his lap?

I show a post saying Barty went around telling everyone him and James were dating

so I wanted to make a little thingy

It probably started when someone was flirting with Barty and he wanted to get away and went: “shit I got to.. go see” *tries to think of something, mind goes to James* “my boyfriend!” (??). Then he keeps it going for shits and giggles, and then he panics when ppl ask him about it cause he doesn’t know why he thought of James out of everyone

———————————

A Ravenclaw: *flirting with Barty* so crouch.. I heard a little rumour that you fancy people with brains..

Barty: [who would rather be anywhere but there]

Barry: uhhh.. yeah I do, did you know Gryffindors are quite smart too? Like uhhh.. James Potter, for example, like his my boyfriend yk? and all-

Ravenclaw: ..what?

Ravenclaw: Oh. That’s cool I just thought- ykw nvm.

Barty: yeah you didn’t know that? We’re dating

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Hufflepuff: so Barty..

Hufflepuff: [flutters eyelashes, smirks and puts hand on Barry’s thigh]

Hufflepuff: what do you do even Quidditch is on? Do you go back to your dorm.. because I could tag along..

Barty: no, I don’t. I actually uh, I normally go hang out with my.. boyfriend, James Potter. Yk the one who your team lost to? The captain and prefect? The one-

Hufflepuff: .. I’ll go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Doesn’t even make sense cause James would either be playing or watching all the games, but Barty wasn’t thinking)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marlene: Barty!

Barty: what?

Marlene: what is it I’m hearing ‘bout you and Jamie?

Barty: ..

Barty: uhh, where’d you hear that?

Marlene: I was near some Hufflepuffs and heard a mention of it

Barty: why you snooping near Hufflepuffs?

Marlene: don’t change the subject. What’s the deal?

Barty: I needed an excuse to get away from ppl so yk.. I used him as an excuse

Marlene: why James tho? Wouldn’t Evan be more useful, cause you see him daily

Barty: .. James was just the first person I thought of

Marlene: ..

Barty: I guess

Marlene: ..alright then-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dorcas: Barty.. why?

Barty: ‘why’ what? I didn’t even do anything!

Dorcas: Oh, so running around saying your dating, Potter? Is nothing?

Barty: you heard that did ya?

Dorcas: of course I did, I hear everything. May as well call me “Rita fucking Skeeter”

Barty: okay I did! People were annoying me and I just said “My boyfriend needed me” and just threw Potter’s name in there so people would shut up and leave me alone!

Barty: god do people ever stop and leave me alone? Stop asking me about it god!

Dorcas: ..

Dorcas: okay.. my bad then

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Talking with my mother: She said, "Where'd you find this guy?" Said, "Some people fall in love, with the wrong people sometimes" But it’s James Potter talking with his mother about Regulus

Dorcas “I can’t love you, anymore” Meadows.

Marlene “I can’t love you any more” McKinnon.

“Clara Bow” by taylor swift except it’s the Potter family.

"You look like Clara Bow in this light. Remarkable. All your life, did you know, you'd be picked like a rose?”

But it’s what every generation of the Potter’s have been told.

"You look like Stevie Nicks, In '75, the hair and lips. Crowd goes wild at her fingertips. Half moonshine, a full eclipse.”

But it’s the James Potter getting told he looks like his mother.

"You look like Taylor Swift, in this light. We're loving it. You've got edge, (s)he never did. The future's bright, dazzling."

Harry Potter getting compared to his father.

“Truth, dare, spin bottles. You know how to ball, I know Aristotle. Brand new, full throttle. Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto. It’s true, swear, scout honour. You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her.”

Buts it’s Lily Evans writing about her boyfriend James Potter.