I Need A Haircut. Like Desperately Need A Haircut. But My Hair Is What Makes Me Feel Like Me. It Reminds

Listening to Glitter Porn's Mind Sick transition to Clown Dreams is an ethereal experience tbh.

Drawing based on things that happened this weekend... I love putting myself into source things instead of source me in source things.

That explains why he wasn't talking to me last night. Or sleep call with me. Cuz he was sleep calling with another person. And it wasn't even his weird American friend thing. I'm going to do what he did last night and ignore the message. Purposefully ignore it so he knows I'm not happy. Is it so hard to communicate with me that you're going to be with someone else. Is it so hard to tell me what you're doing and what your plans are. Asshole.

I feel so fucking empty and shit. Told him I was anxious and scared and he told me I was OK, I then fucking said I wasn't and told him to go to sleep. Then he went offline. I've spent the last hour crying and shaking and trying to make myself feel something but nothings working. I'm so good at communicating usually. I don't get to the point where I ignore my feelings because I'm able to talk through them before I get to that point. What fucking changed. Why am I getting worse like this. It's not ok it's not ok.

are people aware i have serious abandonment issues or

He really just makes my good days worse. I don't know if it's on purpose or if he's just oblivious. I burned myself for him and he doesn't even care. No praise, no degrading, no disappointment. Nothing. It feels like everything I do is all for nowt. I just want him to fucking look at me. He's lucky he doesn't live near me.

I'm having a freak out. Idk if I'm splitting or what but I'm freaking out. And I'm purposefully ignoring him. I need to. I can't fucking deal with him right now. Not because of anything he's done I just. I can't do it. But I need him. I need him to feel stable. Fucking kayemess. I need more people to talk to. I need more people that can be there for me. I hate being in servers where I try so hard to be active and make friends, then vent my feelings and nobody fucking says anything. They just blank me. I'm so fucking close to the edge. I hate this.

Yea. Yea just flat out mock me. To my face. I've tried to tell you that ur my fp. And u just brush it off. And then u say some shit like this and it hurts. If only u didn't brush me off. Like I'm some fucking toy.

everything i touch, i burn. i’m so tired of feeling this way. i hurt people then i hurt myself. i don’t want this pain. i want it to all stop.

Crazy to me that I don't allow myself to be happy (without actively trying) because I'm not supposed to feel human feelings. It's become natural to act like a dog. Something euphoric about that.