Hufflepuff: *sneezes*

"Night has fallen, and morning will come too,"

Kenji said while gazing at the paddy field.

"Spring will arrive, and Autumn too. Everything is split in halves. The grass grows, trees wither, animals are born, and they die……when you live with the land, you slowly come to understand that nature is made up of halves. When something bad happens……when a storm or erosion happens, we feel like bad things will only continue. But in truth, the good and the bad, they are all part of nature……part of living. That’s how everyone in the village thinks."

"I do not understand,”

Akutagawa said, looking at the same scenery.

"So fortune and misfortune are equal halves? Do you want to say the same thing to my comrades who died in the slums?"

"That is why you’re the half that’s left, Akutagawa-san"

Kenji looked at Akutagawa.

"You survived. And with a very powerful Ability, too. Everybody passed on their good halves to you"

~Kafka Asagiri, Bungo Stray Dogs, BEAST.

"I am always jealous. I am ALWAYS jealous. No matter how much I have. I am always wanting more. I can't be filled. I can't be enough. I can't get everything. I want more. I want more. And I have so much love, blessings, accomplishments, money, talent----more than I deserve for free and I still chase for more. I still scoff at other's happiness. I still wish for their failures. I pray for their downfall. I want to see them get beautifully destroyed, just because I don't want to see them succeed. I still want what they have even if in reality, I don't need it, I want it so they can't have it. I am so petty, so mean, so ill. No wonder no one likes me. I am filled with so much hate and despair and spite that I could never ever have enough"

~one of my unfinished novels. <3

I want some chaos, SO hear me out----

I want Akutagawa and Lucy to kiss for some reason (accidentally or intentionally) so that Atsushi will have the "My girl crush and guy crush are kissing each other and it's both terrible and hot at the same time"

Atsushi: that doesn't explain why you were smiling while he was choking you!

Dazai: I wasn't smiling, I was gasping.....wait for you follow me around or something?

Atsushi: oh no, me and Akutagawa were buying our groceries

Dazai: YOU AND AKUTAGAWA? WHY WERE YOU TWO TOGETHER?

Atsushi: we have decided to be friends!

Ranpo, rolling his eyes: Gay.

Atsushi, confused after a mission: what exactly is the relationship between Dazai-san and Chuuya-san?

Fukuzawa: they are enemies

Kunikida: more like ex-coworkers

Yosano: definitely, enemies with benefits

Kyouka: best friends!

Kenji: they help each other out in times of great trouble like good neighbors :)

Junichiro: Aren't they rivals?

Naomi: I thought they were Ex-boyfriends!

Haruno: I heard they got divorced

Atsushi, even more confused: they were married????

*Everyone looks at Ranpo*

Ranpo, takes his Lollipop out: Gay.

*after dinner*

Atsushi, confused: what are you doing Ryuu?

Akutagawa: planting the tails of shrimps to grow them into new ones

Atsushi: h-how is that possible?

Akutagawa: Dazai-san taught me this, it is going to work, you will see.

Atsushi: you can't believe him he was ly---

Chuuya, shuts Atsushi's mouth: don't say things that will discourage a child and stop their imagination

Atsushi: but he is just wasting his time!

Chuuya, shaking his head: let him experiment and find the truth out himself, it's a learning experience for him.

Atsushi: w-where are you going now?

Chuuya: to beat the shit out of Dazai

Atsushi: understandable.

Ravenclaw: I have become accustomed to people being annoying. I am getting better dealing with them after I moved in with my new roommates. They are very unpredictable people---

Hufflepuff: ----Hey give me my pillow back, it's my favourite!!!!!

Gryffindor: I am not giving you this back, I need a pillow, I didn't bring one!

Slytherin: Give me the pillow Gryffindor!

*Gryffindor throws the pillow at Slytherin*

Slytherin: Here, take it *gives it back to Hufflepuff*

Gryffindor: I thought you were on my side! You betrayed me!

Slytherin: I just love watching you get mad.

Gryffindor: How am I supposed to sleep now without a pillow?

Slytherin: we can share one.

Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw: .....

Slytherin: why are you making this a huge deal? I sleep during the day and you sleep during the night, it's simple.

Gryffindor: Oh I thought you wanted to fuck....

Slytherin: you wouldn't?

Gryffindor: unless you want me to.

Hufflepuff: ....what is happening.....

Ravenclaw: Told you they are unpredictable, did you think this will be going in that direction?

Gryffindor turns to Ravenclaw: and you! Are you crazy? Who are you always talking to? What are you? Dora the Explorer?

People thinking Atsushi is just a cute lil soft boy are so WRONG.

Atsushi is one of the best executed C-PTSD protagonists who are not just "kind" because they are the MC.

Atsushi is sassy, he is mean and says things like they are, even to his own mentor Dazai, he is not afraid of saying bad things. He doesn't hold back on his words. And he can be quite quick when it comes to using sass ("are you a landmower?" "Why are you dressed like a half-finished mummy, Dazai-san" "Akutagawa, fancy a cup of tea?" "That's why Dazai-san left you")

He's not just nice. He thinks he should be nice and kind because that's what someone like him should be like. Atsushi has such a low self esteem that he NEEDS to show kindness to everyone because he thinks just like he got a second chance at life, everyone else deserves it too.

That's why he saved Kyouka and Lucy, he recognised that want for bettering themselves in them. He wanted them to get a second chance like he did. Because to him, people are not good or bad, but they have the ability to change no matter how far they have gone.

This is why Atsushi is the only one who can recognise and understand Dazai's true personality. Whenever Dazai says something self depreciating Atsushi ALWAYS corrects him. In Dead Apple when Dazai is visiting Oda's grave, Atsushi understands whoever this person was, they were very dear to Dazai. At the end of Dead Apple when Dazai says he thinks he's not a good person, Atsushi tells him he has never thought of Dazai not being a good person. Atsushi knows Dazai was in the Port Mafia, but he STILL confirms he sees Dazai as a good person regardless of his past. Because Atsushi believes in second chances, and HE gave the second chance to Dazai that Oda must have wanted Dazai to get, even if the ADA accepted Dazai, no one has ever reassured him being a good person before. (Also in BSD wan, when Dazai says "I want to go out beautifully" during the fireworks scene, in the end-credits Atsushi sits near the river the entire day because he was sad that Dazai was suicidal. And in BSD mayoi, Dazai makes a snowman of Atsushi along with Oda, Ango and Chuuya, showing how much he adored Atsushi)

It's the same with Akutagawa; Atsushi doesn't understand why Akutagawa hates him and he's mean to Akutagawa at times but it never crossed a line. Akutagawa had done so many bad things to Atsushi but at the end they still worked together. Because Dazai understood the only person who will make Akutagawa use his powers to "protect" instead of "attack" is Atsushi. During the ending fight in S3, Akutagawa makes an armour for Atsushi as they combine their powers. And in the end credit scene of S5, we see Akutagawa protecting Atsushi AGAIN. This time Akutagawa isn't wearing the same coat Dazai gave him and for the first time shows true loyalty to Atsushi. ("Just the two of us?" "Do we need more?" *SCREAMS*)

Atsushi's relationship with the headmaster of the orphanage shows how much the trauma affected him as a child. When he can't forgive the headmaster at his death, he hates himself for not being able to give a second chance. And that's when Dazai steps in and tells him, "we cry when our father dies" something Atsushi really needs to hear and he finally cries.

Atsushi reassures Dazai all the time and Dazai snaps Atsushi out of his self depreciation all the time. Their solidarity throughout the story, shows why that day when Dazai chose Atsushi for the ADA; he recognised not Atsushi's powerful ability but his true ability in choosing to believe in people when no one else can.

The many stages of depression: (TW)

Depression is one of those feelings that a lot of people have experienced at least sometimes in their lives. It is quite correct to state that everyone at one point in their life have been through it or will go through it. Some get depressed more than others; it could be due to environment, abuse, loss, bullying, mental disorders, stress, poor health, etc.

It is something widely experienced but not widely explained. The mystery of why depression happens to certain people can boil down to their psychological state but should not be considered the single parameter for its existence. Depression like cancer can happen to anyone regardless of any amount of money, status, love or psycological wellness they have. And like Cancer you can't just tell someone with depression to just ignore it or say they are overreacting.

As someone who goes through bouts of seasonal depression and lives in a place where depression is not even considered "real". I have broken down depression according to personal experience into 5 stages.

I am not a medical professional ( I do want to become a psychologist) or someone who can give advice on this topic. But as a patient of depression for around 2 years I can give a little insight into it. Just because I said there are 5 stages doesn’t mean it has to be these stages only, or in the same order.

Here it goes:

1. Anger: just like the stages of grief I always thought the 1st step towards depression starts with anger. It could be outbursts, sudden rage, irritation, annoyance, physical reactions such as intensive urge to kick or punch something (I always have days when I want to burn buildings down and kill my classmates). These reactions can be due to the sudden change in mentality we get before full blown depression kicks in. When we just hate every thing. Everything is stupid. Everyone is being annoying. One of our 1st reactions to anything upsetting is to be mad about it. Depression is not an exception. Anger is where you start. When you start to blame everything around your for causing the pain you are going through. This stage is very important, it is always good to take out your anger before it becomes too much. During this stage I am at my peak of annoyance and can be diabolical.

2. Paranoia: the stage that continues what anger started. This is when realisation kicks in that something is wrong in your mind. You can become paranoid of everything around you. Why is my friend ignoring me for 5 minutes? Why did my parents became quiet when I walked in? Why does it feel like someone is watching me? Why can’t I trust anyone? This is when you are at your peak in terms of insanity. I have been in this stage for the most part of my depressive episodes. Especially as an intuitive, paranoia can be disturbing and harmful to your mental health. It makes you question silly things that don’t even matter for the sake of increasing your blood pressure and start to isolate you from social life. That’s where stage 3 will come

3. Withdrawal: not the withdrawal due to addiction. This is when you start isolating yourself from others. Paranoia put the seed of doubt in your mind about people and how you don’t want them to be near you. People can be a problem sometimes. And this stage is just what being isolated means. This is also the stage people are the most familiar with, because it is often what depression is portrayed as: isolating yourself from other humans as way to build a wall to protect yourself from what paranoia caused. During this time I stop taking calls from my friends, family, anyone. I stop messaging or replying. I often stopped eating with family or having lunch at school with my friends. As an introvert this stage isn’t even that hard, but there is a difference between the choice of isolating yourself because you don’t like to be around strange people and the want to isolate from people you care about.

4. Sadness: the most well known stage of depression, some people mistake it for the definition of depression, which is so wrong. After isolating yourself, you become vulnerable. This is that stage of vulnerability and mostly when people start to have negative thoughts (suicidal thoughts). Sadness itself can’t be explained that well, other than that it leads negativity, hopelessness and the lack of interest in anything cheerful. When I get into this stage, my depression is the most apparent to other people. This is when my mom steps in and ask if things are wrong. And I say #fine when I am so not. Sadness can manifest in tears, coldness, increased self awareness, intrusive and harmful thoughts etc. This is one of the hardest and longest stages to overcome. Yet not as harmful as the next one…

5. Numbness: let me deep breathe before this……this is the most dangerous stage of depression. Every stage before this one had some sort of emotion in it. Anger, paranoia, withdrawn, sadness. But Numbness is the lack of any emotion that can be experienced, even negative ones. You lose all your hope. All your wishes and goals. Everything becomes a barren wasteland of nothingness. The lack of emotions is the worst thing that can happen to you. Just like how you die when your heart stops beating, having numbness to emotions will as in many cases lead to death. Unfortunately, this is the stage when most suicides take places. The inability to have any interest in life and getting overwhelmed from the fact you stopped living the moment you stopped feeling. Have I been in this stage? Yes. But since I am alive there must be a way out of it.

When I said 5 stages of depression, it was meant for those who sadly ended their lives because of it. Stage 6 is for those who made it out alive.

6. Acceptance: again like the stages of grief Depression ends with acceptance. Accepting your problems (I am the problem it's me!), accepting yourself as a problem, accepting help from people who care for you and accepting the little hope left deep down. If you made it to this stage, you are capable of doing anything you want.

Note: You are worth it! (Can't believe I AM saying this) And if you are going through depression or anything related to that, remember that one of reasons to stay alive is to pull revenge on all the people you hate. Maybe in future you can show your haters that the reason they hate you is beacuse of how strong willed you are. You don't have to prove your talents. You don't have to accomplish things to justify your existence. You are here for nobody but yourself. Be selfish, be a bitch and live out the best life there is.

MBTI TYPES AS SIBLINGS:

ESFJ: the favourite sibling who gets along with everyone

ISFJ: the quiet, generous one who let's you have their cupcakes

ESTJ: the one who tries to lead but everyone thinks of him as a joke

ISTJ: the sibling who you come to when you have a problem

ENFJ: Listens to all your problems and is there when you are having a hard time

INFJ: Knows everything about you, but you know nothing about what they do all day

ENTJ: The sibling who would kill you and also kill for you

INTJ: Is emotionally suppressed but is always stressed and looking out for you

ISFP: would watch movies with you and encourage your hobbies

ESFP: is fun to be around and speaks up for you when you can't

ISTP: just too cool

INTP: acts like they don't care but they care more than you would ever find out

ESTP: fights with you for fun

ENTP: is the sibling who would say "you are adopted you know?" just to mess up with your brain

ENFP: is a bundle of energy and joy, always trying to get you out of your shell

INFP: tries hard to have peace with you but becomes diabolical when messed with

Growing up is when you realise how cringe Light was

"I WILL BECOME THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD"

Like, chill a little bit edge lord. Have some potato chips.