"We NeEd MoRe CoMpLeX FEmaLe ChAraCteRs"

Started the new year on the wrong foot by watching DIABOLIK LOVERS;

Is it wrong to call it my guilty pleasure, mostly the anime; the game is 😱😨😨😨😳🫢🫢

So naturally here's a rating of the boys; DISCLAIMER---- I KNOW they are terrible and would never be hot irl but this is fiction and we love mentally ill mfs in this house. I do not condone violence and assault. And I don't think this is a good representation of bdsm community. It is a work of fiction that should be taken as such.

1. Shu Sakamaki: babygirl

10/10

When I first saw him, he was already my fav. Lowkey the best choice despite his actions, he's the least likely to harm you, cuz he will just ignore you. And man is PRETTY. He looks like a prince okay? If he calls me a perv and a slut, I will just accept it cuz I am FOR HIM. (I am just gone, bye bye my long lost sanity). He was okay in HDB, but in Dark Fate, with the cat, I am sorry, I can't take it 💓💓💓💓. Shu takes first place mostly cuz this is an Otome game and I find him the most attractive, but this also might be cuz he is more laid back and older, which makes me feel more interested in him. His backstory makes sense of why he is so distant, if my brother killed my best friend and HIS ENTIRE VILLAGE I would stop giving a fuck too. Also while we are at it, Fuck Reji, Shu did nothing wrong 😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬. If he is a red flag, I am colorblind.

2. Subaru Sakamaki: baby tsundere

9/10

I have a history with loving tsunderes the most, so naturally his whole "....I lik---fuck off" made me giggling and kicking my feet. But not for long, his violent behaviour actually fucking scared me (all of their behaviour ofc) but the fact he is a walking rage ball doesn't help his case. BUT he is definitely the least perverted out of all of them (Shu isn't, he is on level with Laito when it comes to it). He blushes from the start of the game, he warns you multiple times not to get close and leave. And when he says "I love you" I believe it okay. Cuz I think he does truly love Yui. He doesn't make fun of her looks, he likes hugging her and while violent at the start, by Dark Fate, he is just a big old softie. I don't think any of the Sakamaki's love Yui as much as he does. I just want to give him a hug okay? I feel so bad for him at times. Fucking Karlheinz, fuck him. When he kissed Yui while she was sleeping ahhhh, he also apologize to her, asked for consent, as well as felt embarrassed when he saw her in a bath. Him and Yui also bicker like an old married couple and she doesn't hold back when it comes to him. I dock points at his wall breaking 😭😭😭 and the fact he feels a bit too young for me now (I don't like younger guys sorry).

3. Ayato Sakamaki: dumb jock energy

7/10

I didn't like him at first, his whole "yours truly" drove me insane but he kinda grew on me. Mostly cuz of the fanarts and stuff. I didn't think I'd give him this much credit but I had to. He's the main guy after all. With marrying Yui in all good endings and just generally being the one who wants to claim her the most (all of them do but I think ayato especially hates seeing her with anyone). He gives off massive jock energy, and his "pancake" made me mad at first but that became funny (I should not be laughing at the scene where Yui was reading his magazines but I did 😭😭😭). Now he is SUPER aggressive with Yui, my girl never deserved any of this, at times he really gets on my nerves cuz he is so contradictory. Like if you want her just say it, throwing her in the pool and then rescuing her??? Bitch, you are stupid. But his whole stupid behaviour feels charming to me, I love dumb guys they are funny as hell unintentionally. Cordelia can rot in hell, that's all. To me, the best looking and the best choice out of the triplets. I understand why him and Yui are the best Dialovers ship cuz I get the memo.

4. Laito Sakamaki: hear me out---call cops

4/10

Dumbass fedora wearing little----

I thought he would be lower in the list when I first saw him. But...he's kinda funny to me. Idc but his whole "bitch-chan" made me laugh so much. Maybe I was just looking for the bare minimum to like any of these guys, cuz I think Laito doesn't suck as much as I expected. Would I run from him? Yeah. Everything he does is overtly perverted and sexual. But there is a reason behind all this. Cordelia really DID HIM BAD. She fucking groomed him, I understand why he went all crazy in the head. HIS MOTHER...IM SORRY I CAN'T TAKE IT. While I don't like his route and in terms of the romance aspect I don't want him. But he gives SO many funny moments and is just such a goldmine in memes that I can't help but like him. Also being a thigh guy, huge respect. I definitely don't hate him, unexpectedly, he can become one of my "hear me out---". If he didn't fucking assualt Yui so many times, I might have put him above Ayato.

5. Kanato Sakamaki: Demon child

2/10

He looks mentally ill. He actually looks like a malnourished victorian boy. He looks possessed. And I DON'T LIKE HIM.

My feelings towards Kanato are so complicated. Like I do find him funny at times but he usually makes me roll my eyes. In terms of the romance aspect, just no, no, NO. Even my 14 year old self wouldn't like him, he looks like a CHILD. There's nothing attractive in him, the other boys have something, Kanato is just a demon child. And his teddy, I want to burn that teddy just cuz it makes Kanato even more annoying when he's talking to it. Did you not take your pills Kanato? Why are you the way you are. Ofc it's all his deadbeat dad and especially his bitch of a mother's fault. She had affairs in front of this little boy, no wonder he is so ill. He's definitely the most unhinged of the brothers, even they find him scary at times. He would just kill you for funsies. He would. I don't hate him but I don't like him either.

6. Reiji Sakamaki: Bleh Bleh Bleh

1/10

I am sorry I can't take this man seriously. Everything he says and does makes me go "ughhhhhhh" so bad. When he got mad at Shu for leaving their weekly dinners, aura point loss, loser behaviour. The only reason I gave him 1 point is cuz he's hot...sometimes. I generally love glasses guys but no Reiji just gets on nerves each time he opens his fucking mouth and says smtg on the lines of "um....akschully 🤓"

Fuck you. Fuck Reiji. His entire backstory is just being jealous of Shu. And then he spends his entire life trying to get on Shu's nerves and the fact Shu doesn't give a fuck drives Reiji even more. When he killed his mother and wanted to revive her just to kill her in a satisfying manner...bro... 😭. His relationship with Yui sucks, his little tea parties suck, he just sucks. I know Reiji has his fans, but I am a hater. With Kanato I don't like him romantically but with Reiji I don't like him at all. And when he spanks Yui and is like "don't drink her blood assholes" and then does the SAME thing. He actually made me mad. I was ready for whatever came my way when I got into this but Reiji is so annoying that I would take fucking Latio over him. All of this rage just cuz his mom didn't listen to his poem or whatever. I am sorry you are parentless Reiji, I just cannot care less about you 🍵.

And....

I love you Yui. Such an adorable girl. I feel so bad for her the entire time. She deserves so much.

Top 3 ships ranking:

1. Ayato x Yui

2. Subaru x Yui

3. Shu x Yui

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Honestly, Francis and Richard would vibe so much with "The Tortured Poet's Department"-----

Me: Have care how to speak about them, Akutagawa, Chuuya and Dazai are my children

Someone: They killed 80 people in two days

Me: they're adopted

Re-read TSH.....AGAIN

Here are some weird/wtf/sad moments and details I had forgotten:

•Henry wrote a diary entry about murdering a guy 🤨.

•then forgets that Bunny is capable enough to translate the diary entries and find out about the murder.

•Richard has a random thought about r-wording Camilla out of nowhere (*What the fuck Richard vine plays in the background*) 😳.

•The first time Richard sees the twins he thinks they are a couple..........hmm (I was sus about that from the start) 😶.

•Richard had two pages of internal monologue about Henry being gay.

•There was broken stuff in the twins dorm, which was due to Charles trashing the house whenever he is mad at Camilla (FUCK CHARLES).

•Franics was making passes at Richard multiple times.

•Francis and Camilla kissed for some reason, twice.

•Richard only studied greek before to have a language class that's in the afternoon so he could sleep late in the morning (sometimes I feel like he survives only on pure instinct).

•Richard was constantly finassing his employer.

•Henry and Charles were ready to throw hands at Judy (do NOT touch the queen you freaks).

•Henry planned multiple murder options for Bunny (💫dumb ways to die💫).

•Richard had no problem being an accomplice in murder for people he barely knows.

•Bunny drops multiple hints about the murder the others did early on.

•Nobody tried to save Camilla way before if they knew Charles's controlling nature (Henry taking her away was the best thing he ever did).

•Camilla and Henry had secret telephone codes.

•Francis was forced to have a lavender marriage 😭.

•all of this shit went down during one academic year.

•Camilla's whole purpose was to give storylines to Henry, Charles and Richard. She deserved so much better than that. And I don't want her to ever stay around any of the guys of the group (except for Francis).

•Julian was blissfully aware of the obsessive nature of his students, and not only encouraged it but directly lit the fire that caused them to become who they are. (He tried to pull a John Keating from DPS, but he could NEVER be the Dark Academia teacher icon)

BONUS:

Tally of the members of the greek gang who have kissed eachother (NOT COUNTING THE BACCHANAL, where they all fucked.....Idk what happens in a bacchanal, I am too scared to research)

Camilla: 4 (Henry, Francis, Charles, Richard)

Francis: 3 (Charles, Camilla, Richard)

Richard: 2 (Francis, Camilla)

Charles: 2 (Francis, Camilla)

Henry: 1 (Camilla)

Bunny: 0 (RIP, I guess 😅)

TW:

It's really hard to be someone with a superiority complex and an inferiority complex at the same time.

Ps: also have GAD, BDD, ED, OCD and other things haven't discovered yet.

Taylor Swift is like a friend to me, a therapist, a mentor, a sister, a cool aunt. She just makes me feel understood. It's hard to describe what kind of parasocial relationship this is but I am happy it's there.

I am gonna take a break from TSH. Although it was because of that I started this blog. I have been very burned out with that book. I cleaned out my drafts. For the past three years of hyper-fixation made me learn about so many things. I have changed my opinions so much since I made my first post and it made me realise how you not only mature in age but also in your ideas about certain topics and characters.

It won't probably be my final post about TSH, I want to return to it a few years later to see it in a retrospective lens opposed to the rose-tinted one I wore when I completed the book for the first time.

My current thoughts on the characters;

Henry: loved him at first and I love him still. But for different reasons. I loved him when I first read the book because I was too in love with his character to realise the type of person he was. Even agreeing on his terrible decisions (ex: killing Bunny, bacchanal, etc...) but now I love him because he is so unhinged and terrible like the many morally grey/evil characters we all love.

Richard: for some reason I thought he was a good person who got wrapped in all this shit and wasn't bad. Now I think Richard is equally responsible for the tragedy by not reporting a murder and by being an actual accomplice to murder.

Camilla: my thoughts on her have changed the least. At first I used to think she was just the nicest of them. And then it changed to--- she is hiding a secret dark side or more layers we don't get to see.

Francis: I thought he was also the nicest, next to Camilla because he doesn't take any problematic actions. But it is his inability to take actions of his own that makes him bad. Although I still think he is underrated and often misunderstood

Charles: I couldn't stand Charles at first. And I can't just justify everything he did cuz he is terrible. It's just he is often used as a scapegoat to make Henry look better which I hate. He's a menace yes, but so is Henry!!!!!

Julian: I don't have a lot to say cuz we rarely see him. All I can say is he is not the mastermind of the whole story. He's a John Keating gone wrong example.

Bunny: my thoughts on Bunny have changed the most. From HATING him to feeling sympathy and even bad for him. I still won't agree he is somehow the best person out there, cuz he is definitely not. Bunny is hated to an extent that he doesn't deserve. And ounce and for all, he didn't deserve to die (I take back what I said about him in the past)

Judy: ounce a queen 👑 always a queen 👑

So this is it. Thanks TSH for being the bane and reason for my existence since the pandemic.

~ 🕊️

Slytherin and Ravenclaw on a date:

*Gryffindor spying on them with Hufflepuff*

Hufflepuff: this is so creepy, why are we here?

Gryffindor: why did you come then?

Hufflepuff: you told me we are getting ice cream and feed ducks in the pond!

Slytherin: they are spying on us aren't they?

Ravenclaw: ofc, hiding behind the lamp post won't help Gryffindor

Slytherin: do you know how we can scare them?

Ravenclaw: *nods* I am ready

*both pull out knives at the same time*

Ravenclaw: honey, are you ready for our next murder spree?

Slytherin: You bet I am. I heard someone following us.

Ravenclaw: the last victims are not even found yet....

Gryffindor looks at Hufflepuff: this is the moment.

Hufflepuff: what? I can't hear anything and why are they pulling out knives are they going to......

Gryffindor: RUN!!!!!!RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

Hufflepuff: Ahhhhhh....all I wanted was to eat free ice cream!

Slytherin: they are not coming back

Ravenclaw: No.

Slytherin: why do you have a knife anyways? As a surgeon I have knives all over me.

Ravenclaw raises eyebrow: you never know when they come in handy...let's go I want cotton candy......NOW

Slytherin: *nervous laughter* you are so cute.

Every valentine's day Chuuya gets desperate, passionate love letters from someone whom he doesn't know. It's full of poetic lines and cryptic messages about how they are fated to be together and are soulmates. He wonders who this secret admirer is and decides to write back to them and ask them out on a date.

He goes to the restaurant they decide to meet at and takes a U-turn back to the receptionist and cancels his reservation when he sees Dazai sitting there waiting for him. Because Chuuya.exe has stopped working.