Chuuya, Singing In The Kareoke: I Wanna Key His Car, I Wanna Make Him Lunch

"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."

— Anne Frank

(One of the first and best books I ever read. Rip Anne Frank 💐)

Just felt like I haven't re-read TSH in a while. So I wondered if I could write a full blown essay (not really, more like a brief analysis) on the characters from TSH.

I might not even end up writing them but I would like to know which characters people are most interested in learning in-depth about.

There's so much to say about this story that no one can ever stop analysing it. If Donna took 10 years to complete it, there must be so much we can discuss about it!!!

I will try to write a detailed analysis when I have the time to re-read TSH (studying for exams, writing a book and reading "The Bell Jar" and "Pet Sematary" for the 1st time lol)

I hope this will inspire people to make more post abt TSH theories/analysis/thoughts (been tired with the regular mood boards and quotes)

(PS: "Looking Through The Male Gaze" for Camilla is about Richard's gaze, not Donna Tartt's)

"It's not about the want to die but the desire to simply not exist"

-Me, 2022

BSD S5 is driving me insane~

I did not expect to cry because of Fyolai and FukuFuku

Why do they have to pair them up and then separate them?

Are we here to fulfil Asagiri's sadistic desires ? 😭

Does he even like us?

"This story is not for people who are good at living"

Bullshit

Then maybe you should think about your fanbase of mentally ill people on copium~

Just sayin'

(ps: at least Skk and sskk reunion happened)

"Do you have any other advice?" asked the boy.

"Don't measure how valuable you are by the way you are treated," said the horse.

Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse.

Akutagawa using intimidation tactics on Atsushi because he doesn't know how to flirt: Jinko look at my eyes when I talk or else....

Atsushi: but, you are holding my wrist and pushed me into a corner, what do you want? I thought you agreed not to kill me

Akutagawa: if you don't want your sister to go missing, then let me take you to a restaurant

Atsushi: first of all, Kyouka would never get kidnapped by you and why a restaurant, are you trying to sell me drugs or something?

Akutagawa: why are you not understanding me?

Atsushi: what are you talking about? What is wrong with you?

Akutagawa: stay here, I have to ask Dazai-san for more pointers. If you run away, I will put handcuffs on you

Atsushi: ......

Atsushi: wait...I am the DETECTIVE HERE NOT YOU.

Meanwhile, Dazai watching this with binoculars: Dammit, Atsushi is even more air-headed than Chuuya. How can they not get such simple things? I should have given Akutagawa the dog collar already. It worked on Chuuya, surely it will work on Atsushi-

Chuuya, kicks his back: can you stop ruining kids eh, shitty mackerel?

An INTP view of life: part 1

ENFJ: good morning my sunshine!

INTP: I just went to sleep.

ENFJ: It's 11 Am

INTP: time is an illusion.

.....................................

ESTJ: you have got to start your work.

INTP: nah

ESTJ: you have six hours till the deadline

INTP: six hours! I learned morse code in that time during a flight.

...........................

ISTP: you know we can conserve more energy and live longer if we don't move

INTP: I guess so. You wanna live longer?

ISTP: are you kidding?

INTP: yeah, I know living is the root of all our problems.

ISTP: wait, what exactly is our problem?

...................................

INFP: sometimes I see my reflection and feel sacred that no one will know the real me.

INTP: interesting

INFP: that I will live in a world full people who don't understand the reason of existence.....that we might have nothing to live for.....that everything is worthless

INTP: are you having an existential crisis?

INFP: yes...

INTP: happens to me six times a week, here have some tea.

INFP: maybe you understand me.

INTP: I am very good with people's thinking, I see through them.I just don't like to go near them. How about you don't hug me?

......................................

ENTJ: I will become the absolute best version of myself!

INTP: so you mean, you are not the best?

ENTJ: the best version of MYSELF

INTP: so there's a lame you, a cool you, a stupid you, a nice you....wait nice one doesn't exist

ENTJ: when I will be incharge I will make sure you rot in a dungeon

INTP: well that's where the best ideas come from. I don't mind it.

ENTJ: I can't believe you infuriate and amuse me at the same time.

Life goes on:

Life goes on,

When the blossoms may.

When dry leaves fall down,

In a sun free day.

Life goes on,

When childhood ends.

When you grow apart,

From all your friends.

Life goes on,

When you walk alone.

In sunny paths and trails,

Of a hillside house.

Life goes on,

When you let things go.

When you accept,

There's always left some hope.

Life goes on and on

And on till the-

Day you die and-

Leave your imprint behind.

~ME

Competed Gossip girl (the og series) yesterday:

Here's my thoughts (SPOILERS) and don't hate me plz for my opinions, they don't matter.

1. Serena: AHHHHHHHHH she is so.....infuriating, hypocritical and has no substance, character growth, ANYTHING. She is not even interesting like Blair or Georgina. I stopped caring about her mid season 3. I did not care what happened to her after that. Only Blake lively made her bareable enough that I rooted for her to end up alone in the series and actually learn that she needs no man to have a happy life. Also she married her ex-step brother with whom she shares a sibling. Yikes.

2. Blair: I love Blair. She is an icon, she is a legend, she is the moment. I know she has done some bad shit. But I don't mind that cuz all the people are shitty. She owns her evilness. She also is so entertaining. I know Blair can be immature and bratty at times but at least she has some ambition about unlike her bsf. The friendship between Dan and Blair was heartwarming. Her dreams of becoming a princess and yale are relatable. Overall there's so much in Blair that you can't help loving her. (I think her banning Jenny from UES was the worst thing)

3. Chuck: Hate him. Why? Cuz he is Chuck Bass. I don't have to say more then, I don't know: the pilot, Jenny Humphrey, selling Blair for a hotel, SA, hitting Blair etc.....etc. I can go on but I don't want to talk about him at all.

4. Nate: um. He is pretty. He can be charming at times. He dates older women (or younger women). He......is the good guy (?)

5. Dan: if we forget the STUPID reveal that Dan was Gossip girl. He isn't much of a complex person after season one. He was compelling in 1st season and when he was friends with and dated Blair. He has the Humphery ideal of pitying themselves and also makes terrible decisions, having Vanessa as a friend for example. I have no idea why Serena liked him at all except that Serena is into artsy-serious-fake nice guys.

6. Jenny Humphrey: I LOVE Jenny Humphrey. She is so hated in the GG community. She never did anything as bad as Blair, Chuck or even Dan. Her storyline about becoming a fashion designer, throwing a guerillla fashion show and constant butting heads with Blair was amazing. DON'T hate my girl. (Also Taylor gets a lot of hate for making Jenny's character worse, but it was the writer's fault). She got hate so much for the Chuck situation when HE was more in the wrong.

How much do you think Richard lied about the story?

Because I think he was lying about a LOT of stuff. I do not trust words that come from this man. He is sus.

Since he is talking about the past, it could all be misunderstandings and blurry memories (he was high half of the time) Or it could be just lies.

My favourite headcanon is that Richard was writing a book about his college life. He is a bit delusional and grandiose so when he went to college, he expected to have this main character vibe going on. But his college life was as normal as any of ours and he was disappointed. So, he tried to live vicariously through a book, which he wrote as an "autobiography" (he literally starts the book with "this is a story of my follies"). Richard is telling us, the reader, "his" story. He is acknowledging it as a "real" story. But that too is a lie. Richard made it all up. All the characters were written by him.

That's why Camilla was portrayed as an angel, she is the heroine, his damsel in distress, love interest. Henry was the mythical Jay Gatsby to Richard's Nick Carraway. Henry was someone he could obsess over and idolise. Francis is the gay one, he is another 'kind of' love interest, he is always making passes at Richard, he is snarky and a bit grumpy, that's his entire character. Charles is the mean villain, he is abusing Camilla and committing incest, his existence makes all of them appear better than they are. Bunny was homophobic to a degree that didn't make any sense, he was in a fucking Greek class and was friends with all these people with major gay vibes, what did he expect? If Bunny was sympathetic, we wouldn't have accepted the murder so quickly. And Julian is Julian, he is so out of reach and ethereal; depicted as a type of teacher we would love to have, the story's John Keating.

Now when we come to the ending. The only one who gets to live a "normal" life and has any success (at least graduating college) was Richard. Yeah, Camilla turned him down and all but, he doesn't seem that mad about it (he admitted he loved Henry too, which gives major Nick Carraway vibes) He doesn't really face any consequences of what they all did (he is an accomplice to murder after all)

Camilla is traumatised, she is still in love with Henry and he fucking died in front of her. Her relationship with Charles is ruined and that would be traumatising as well.

Francis is forced to stay in the closet with no choice in the person he dates. And he almost dies of a suicide because of that. He is done with life.

Charles tried rehab but then ran away with a woman in her 30s that was married. His life is a complete mess and he has no contact with his old friends or sister.

Henry commited suicide and Bunny was murdered by his own friends.

Out of all these situations, Richard was the lucky one. He still has ties to Camilla and Francis and they still are kind of friends. He graduated and got a job. He dates one of the most popular girls at college and moves in with her for some time. He is doing something in his life.

In the end, Richard got the best of all of them. Maybe because that's just his real life. He doesn't have a crazy backstory. He doesn't have a huge personality. He doesn't have many connections to these characters. He gets the best ending. He is always the outsider. He is the narrator. He is a liar. He is a storyteller.

It's Richard's world, we are all just living in it.

(I know this theory is not at all true. Donna Tartt was not going for it to be like this. But I find the idea of Richard faking the entire book for his own entertainment and delusion, fascinating. And it's even plausible because of his personality)

Just imagine if TSH happened in the present day. The afterward would be just Richard going to his desk job with four hours of sleep and revealing he was writing an OC self-insert fanfiction about a modern Greek tragedy in AO3.

(okay, this turned out so funny. I get Richard, I want to escape from my boring life with writing too)