"Why Are You Putting This On Me?" Shang Qinghua Whined, Face Twisting Attractively. Wow, Shen Qingqiu

🥒✈️Cumplane Secret identity AU???

Peerless cucumber becomes so notorious that he starts getting Airplane notices semi-regularly. Airplane needs some extra cash so he starts doing vtube/voice change streams where he draws PIDW characters, comics, monsters etc - he's a talented baby what can I say, and he gets a decent stream following, offering sneak peeks at his creative process - but he really doesn't want his face and ID as an erotica writer out there thank you!!!

Peerless Cucumber is absolutely ridiculous in his chat, ubiquitous, always there the second he starts streaming. Constantly dropping huge donos to ask ridiculous lore questions that literally go on for minutes... riding herd on other chatters and policing people... Eventually him being "worst mod" becomes a meme, and Airplane mods him mostly as a joke.

They start messaging, and weirdly it's not hellfire? Modding the channel is the first actually constructive thing Shen Yuan has done, like, ever. It turns out that when he has actual responsibility, he takes it pretty seriously? He's more reliable than anyone, especially himself, could have expected him to be? Everyone still clowns in him and calls him "worst mod", "everyone tell the mods they suck" but it starts to be affectionate, because he actually helps detoxify the community a little? (Only HE is allowed to be toxic on airplane's channel!!)

He decides to take a media and communications degree because social media is the only thing he's ever been good at. He sees a guy with a PIDW sticker on his laptop in his lectures, and they become study buddies! It's great!

They talk about their shared appreciation for PIDW probably more than they should. Study Buddy is pretty chill, he teases Shen Yuan for his BingGe obsession. Shen Yuan doesn't want to be a dick, so he doesn't really slag it off as much as he would online? And Study Buddy LIKES talking about the monsters and how cool Bing-gege is!! Maybe they talk enough that Shen Yuan figures maybe there's a reason he was never into wife plots? Maybe he's actually just... Not into... You know.... Girls? That way??? And Study Buddy is super chill? And maybe it's okay to talk about that stuff???

Meanwhile he's still chatting with airplane, who gets invited to attend a con to be on some kind of panel. He asks cucumber-bro along because he's shitting BRICKS, and he wants someone there who will, like... be in his corner?

Turns out Shen Yuan already has tickets because he and his study buddy were planning to go!

Oh, and look at that! He and airplane are booked at the same hotel! It's convenient!

They decide to meet in the lobby.

Shen Yuan and his study buddy go to their separate rooms to freshen up and rest, with a plan to meet for breakfast. Thirty minutes later, they're both back in the lobby.

Both of them are "waiting for someone."

Both of their "someones" are running LATE.

Shen yuan messages Airplane.

Study Buddy's phone buzzes.

Their eyes meet.

No fucking WAY. this is the guy who talked him through his LBH inspired GAY AWAKENING!! The friendly and supportive "bro" he has COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT??? And that's AIRPLANE?

He literally spent five minutes TALKING ABOUT LBH'S MUSCULAR CHEST AND STAR STUDDED GAZE... to AIRPLANE????

Has he really spent MONTHS coming to the terms with the fact that AIRPLANE is kinda....

Could Bingge maybe portal in with Xin Mo and drag Shen Yuan to hell, because he can't deal with this 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Shang qinghua : Are you gay for pay?

Shen qingqiu : God no, i wish. I'm gay for free like a fucking idiot.

It takes approximately 12 minutes to empty one side of you flip it. I timed it.

Romantic Cumplane!

I need more romantic cumplane. It’s my guilty pleasure. Idc if it’s post transmitigation or au: never did transmitigate; like don’t get me wrong, I love platonic cumplane but there’s just something about them romantically that itches my brain just right.

Like that haters-friends-lovers tropes is just 🙂‍↕️🤌

The way SY would absolutely be airplanes sugar daddy. Just another nobleman paying an artist during a renaissance period. Like we have all these big man CEO tropes meets petite women whose working at a chicken shop to make ends meet ala kdrama style but make it cumplane. And I eat it up every single time. And airplane is def the shorter one. I think with his luck he would be short in every universe.

But I rarely find fics with them romantically or without another person in the pairing and that makes me sad :(

And no I will not be writing cumplane fics bc I can barely keep up with mine, even tho I know the rule is “can't find it then make it”

there was this whole paragraph in svsss (from binghe's pov... maybe an extra?) about how when sqq Wasn't scowling or purposefully looking aloof, he had a very gentle face.. so naturally i'm reading this as "shen jiu has resting princess face". like, big dark bambi eyes with long lashes and slightly pouty lips, which absolutely helped him as a child sell the whole "pitiful, innocent baby" thing (which he WAS! he was literally an orphaned baby!!!) along with his crocodile tears, but which he DETESTS as an adult (associates it with weakness, also it seems like he would have some deep-seeded discomfort with men realising he's a certain type of very pretty after qjl). so he purposefully shoves on his own Resting Bitch Face and is never actually really resting his face when around others, until sy comes along and starts using his body.

sy on the other hand... i think it'd be funny if he had sterner features and the actual RBF in his og body, and he was always a little exasperated by it because he's NICE in real life! it's just on the INTERNET he's a dick!

"I still can't believe you named not one, but two characters after yourself," Shen Yuan grumbled from where he was using his husband's shoulder as a pillow, arms wrapped around his waist and puffing warm breaths onto his cheek. "And one of them was that shitty fucking spy."

"I wouldn't say he was shitty," Luo Qinghua said, continuing to type away at the draft for his newest chapter. He loved that he was finally able to actually sit and plan his story out now, rather than have to continuously churn out 10k a day just to make ends meet. Small perks of marrying into a rich family.

Shen Yuan sat up to look him in the eye, accidentally leaning too far backwards in the process. Luo Qinghua quickly reached out to grab the other's thighs to avoid them both tipping over. "Shang Qinghua literally gets exposed as a spy--"

"After several fucking years--"

"--And is immediately killed by Mobei-Jun afterward because he's of no more use!" Shen Yuan continued on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "I'm just saying that you could and would do a far better job. Even though you suck at being sneaky."

"Ahaha, yeah," Luo Qinghua said, averting his gaze. What his husband didn't know about the limited edition PDIW merch he had hidden away in the closet for his upcoming birthday, couldn't hurt him. Shen Yuan narrowed his eyes at him and opened his mouth, so Luo Qinghua quickly kept going. "Well, even if I could do it, I don't know if I would've been able to do all those things Shang Qinghua did, anyway. Planning murder and sabotaging sects isn't really my hobby, you know?"

"Mhm." Shen Yuan pursed his lips, still suspicious, but deciding to go with it. Crisis averted! Though Luo Qinghua knew that Shen Yuan would bring it up later. "I think you'd be clever enough to, but yeah, you wouldn't." Shen Yuan suddenly smirked and unwound his arms from around Luo Qinghua's waist, reaching up instead to interlock them around his neck and pull him closer. "Either way, if I were Mobei-Jun, I would've kept you."

"I'm your husband, even if I was the worst spy on Earth, you would've kept me, regardless," Luo Qinghua deadpanned. Still, he felt his face flushing a light pink. The way Shen Yuan was looking at him made his skin prickle with warmth.

"Mm, exactly," Shen Yuan hummed and pressed his mouth to Luo Qinghua's collarbone. Luo Qinghua shivered. His voice shifted, lower and teasing. "Husband."

"Yes, A-Yuan?" One of his hands stayed on Shen Yuan's thighs while the other reached up to rest on his lower back, caressing the soft skin peeking out from beneath his shirt.

"Save your draft and turn off your laptop."

Luo Qinghua was moving before Shen Yuan had even finished.

A day at Centennial Park! It smells like salt and seaweed. (at Centennial Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHiGMnlbKc/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1qil314840zuq

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Here have a sunset! 🌅 (at Fort Myers, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsHHIprFmOA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=13bs8k9cfe0wg

I keep imagining a distant future where sqh and sqq are sitting together with their new husbands and they start over sharing shit.

Sqh sais something along the lines of "oh yeah sqq and i actually bonded over some duo cultivation manual i was writing. He helped me point out flaws ans inconveniences ect, and in such great details.. Aaah the joyous days right sqq?"

And suddenly they're both banned from seeing each other, But they meet up anw to get drunk and they start laughing abt how they're star crossed lovers or how abt they're not Allowed to meet again. And one thing leads to another until they're drunk and walking around calling each other my Romeo and my Juliette.

Their husbands lose their minds obv because they think they went back to their exes even if they can't understand the references.

Sqq wakes up to a crying (and pretty much suicidal) lbh in some sort of.... Dungeon???? 😨

Sqh is just tied to a bed in frozen mountain with no source of heat but......mobei's deamon blood or something.