I’m Still The Same Asshole I Was 10 Years Ago, I’ve Just Got Bills To Pay Now.

Private investigator playing for both sides, I disappear people and find missing people. And sometimes for kicks, I’ll just disappear myself.

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

Did a little soul searching...I am in fact, a narcissistic little shit with no concern for consequences but if someone mentions a cat I will build a shelter with my bare hands and protect it from the elements.

Life just makes so much more sense at 3am.

Can’t explain it, it just does.

Maybe I’m sleep deprived but I probably wouldn’t give a shit since my mind is uninhibited like the members of barenaked ladies.

Them: Can you check whether this specific transaction would be governed by the donation laws or would it be considered as a loan favourable to our clients?

Me: I’m only on fractions.

That’s it. That’s the joke. Thank you for coming.

Italians were hella right in combining pasta, olive oil and garlic. I’m convinced that they’ve got eternal truths hidden in their cuisines at this rate.

Just add pecorino to something and your day is made. Or black pepper. Or some fresh tomatoes. And that’s it. Keep it simple and fresh and heavenly.

I’ve been throwing money at the wrong things my whole life.

Professions BL has introduced me to over the years:

Engineers

Doctors

C-Suite everything (CEO, CTO, CFO)

Gym Instructors

Vets

Cafe waiters / owners

Millionaire rich kid (daddy’s little boy gets paid a hefty sum every month to ride around in a souped up coupe)

Businessman (shady or legitimate, who cares, look he’s wearing a turtleneck)

Intelligence operatives

Bar tenders

Laundry Operators

Team manager (of what and why exactly? We don’t know, but he manages a team)

Salesperson

Hackers (ethical or redeemable)

Criminal (street and organised)

Creative Director

Painters

Pornographer

Dancer

Loan sharks (probably the only one that caught me off guard)

Lawyer

Dentists (because dentists are not doctors)

Hairdresser

Stewards/pursers

Fashion Designer

Interior designer

Model

Aircraft technicians

Tutor

Deliveryman

Makeup/Skin care promoter (for those brand placements)

Actor (theatre and film)

Artist manager/creative director

Producer

Race car driver (omegaverse included)

Shareholder (it is a career path if you’re rich enough right?)

Bodyguard

Graphic designer

Farmer

Architect

Meteorologist (and a horny one at that, who would’ve thought huh?)

Game Developer

Cultivators

Grim reapers (even a pre-ordained one counts)

Landlord

Political Activists

Athletes

Writers

Ceramic artist

Filmmakers

Videographers

Photographers

Boom operators

Singer

Editor

Manga artist

Ice skater

Producer

Ghost (I don’t know either.)

Project manager

Chef

Kpop idol

Teacher

Influencer

Gamer

Military officer

Supermarket owner

Real estate broker

Medical examiner

Gangster (a constant favorite)

Police officers

and

A two timing snitch (you read that right, there’s always one so it’s gotta be a paying gig.).

It’s a diverse bunch y’all.

If you can guess the bl from these positions, congratulations, you’ve watched all of them probably.

(I ran out of tags by the way)

Watching those restoration videos on YouTube and commenting hoping that one of those creators will entertain the possibility of restoring the shattered pieces of my sanity back together once this year ends.

I hate your guts but here’s some chocolate flavored Yoplait to help you through it.

So yes, I do fully react to fictional characters doing dumb things with incredulity and rage and then turn around and encourage myself to place my hands on a burning stove....what are you trying to say?

There are two types of people:

Type A: Life is a mess but every app on the phone is categorized into neat folders and knows exactly which folder to navigate to for an app.

Type B: Got life figured out but the phone is an unholy mess waiting to erupt like a dormant volcano. Knows where to find stuff, but anyone else trying to navigate is just heading towards a level 7 migraine.