Peter Parker Meets Batfam Fics Are Funny To Me Because I Think It’s Bold Of Y’all To Assume The Batfam

Haunting Memories

Danny is like a cockroach. No matter what happens he just keeps coming back.

Every Wayne has watched this kid die.

Every single Bat and Bird has failed to save him

They don't realize it's the same dude at first

They all just think they're having an absolute shit week.

He saved Damians life when he took that bullet

Jason watched him give his life for a kid when a bus was coming and the kid wouldn't get out of the way in time. Jason wasn't close enough (maybe they both would have lived if Jason had been closer. Faster. Better)

Cass saw the knife fly at him. She was too far. Couldn't tell to save him. She watched him fall in silence. He never made a sound.

He was at the top of a flight of stairs. Barbra watched him lose his balance. She was trapped by her chair and the daylight hours. She watched. Helpless as he tumbled to the ground, and lay, broken, before her.

Bruce was running late when it happened. His car stalled. Just as a boy, no older than his sons, ran (or flew or appeared) down the street. Out of breath. Covered in blood and bruises. Clothing torn. Bruce made to get out of the car as the boy turned and shouted. As if making his final stand. Bruce watches as the boy is gunned down by men in white. It's not until much later that he realizes the boy stopped where he, did, not because he was exhausted, but because they were running towards a crowd. That he had stopped running, had givens himself up, to protect the innocent.

Alfred held out a hand to a child. Too small and young and thin by far. He was just heading out to meet an old friend. He had no supplies, no emergency button no phone. No food to share or clean clothes to offer. Suddenly he found himself on the ground with the child on top of him, head oozing from what appeared to be a piece fallen from the building above them. The child has pushed him out of the way. His final act had been to save a stranger.

They're eating a meal in silence. All together for the first time in a long while. When there's a knock at the door. A case worker. Asking if Mr. Wayne were able to take in a child. Just for a short while. It was an emergency. He had no where else to go. They were desperate.

Bruce is tempted to say no. It's been a terrible couple of weeks. But who was he to turn away a child in need. Of course he has room. Let him tell Alfred. Just come through to the dining room when you're ready, you remember where it is of course? Excellent. We'll put extra places out for the both of you. Of course you're welcome to join us for dinner, it's awfully late and you must be starving.

Bruce goes back to let Alfred know they'll have dinner guests and is just settling in when the Boy They All Watched Die walks in closely tailing the social worker.

Chaos ensues

(reposting cuz someone wrote an awesome fic on AO3) Linking below. leave them some love if u like. they really took this snippet and ran with it!)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51328789/chapters/129695641

"Cockroach (you can't kill me in any way that matters)" (in case the link breaks again)

Demon's twin au, except....

A Demon's twin au where Danny and Damian are polar opposites of each other as usual. Damian is the serious and pokey one while Danny is the laid back, carefree twin. Except, Danny is 10x more psychotic than Dami, and his demeanor is somewhat a manipulation tactic. He's still loves Dami vv much and would gladly burn the world for him while Dami is....hm. He envies Danny but in the same time very intimidated by him (read: black cat & golden retriever situation)

One day he gets killed by Damian (may it be a duel that he didn't think seriously because he thought Dami would never kill him or Dami just flat out conspiring against him is your choice) and Danny was FURIOUS at him. Instead, he swore Damian would pay the price for betraying him.

Fast forward after he got resurrected and lived as Danny, he's soften up a bit; more talking and less stabbing, basically. One thing leads to another where he leaves and ends up in Gotham (preferably because of CW) and hey, what dya know. Dami's siblings aren't that bad...

Meanwhile Batfam™ are scrambling because there's a teenager that looks like Damian wandering over Gotham. Damian is perplexed because that could be his supposedly dead brother (eye color).

Everything went wrong when Danny straight up jumped at Damian in costume, trying to kill him.

https://at.tumblr.com/starwrighter/ive-seen-a-lot-of-dp-x-dc-crossover-posts/7aojl2h74ojs

A prompt based off the bit in this post where Jason reacts to Danny's chirps and trills... Except I'm taking it to the extreme>:)

So! Going off the known crossover fanon of the Lazarus pits being stagnant/corrupted ectoplasm it would make sense that Jason would be a corrupted halfa since he was dunked in corrupted ectoplasm instead of being blasted by a portal.

I remember reading a crossover post about Lazarus water not being able to turn people fully ghost but also blocking off any ghostly traits that might form. (If someone can find that post please let me know)The idea was that basically Lazarus water kept the people it revived as human as possible by blocking off any ghostly traits that might of formed from the revival.

Usually the Lazarus water can stomp out any traits before they even start. Unfortunately Jason formed a shoddy core when he was dunked and the Lazarus water blocked of all his halfa instincts and physical traits. This leads to Jason's lasting pit madness because all those instincts that are blocked are building up and exploding out in one big fit of instinctual rage. He has no outlet for the instincts he doesn't even know he has because they've been blocked off! He can't even chirp without another halfa or ghost starting it!

So here comes Danny waltzing into Gotham after an identity reveal gone wrong. He's freshly traumatized, looking for somewhere to hide out and stumbles upon a run down looking house and decideds it the perfect place to hide. It's actually one of Jason's safe houses and when Danny sneaks in he comes face to face with Jason. Danny sensing Jason is also a halfa let's out a chirp as a greeting...

Jason melts like butter. He turns into an absolute mess of chirps, just fawning over the ghost baby (Danny) that just walked into his safe house.

(That's all I have for this prompt . I'm working on like three onshots from prompts and outlining a Subnautica au for later. I'm just a really slow writer)

The safety on his gun was turned back on with an inaudible click as Jason let the tension leak out of his body.

It wasn't often that someone broke into one of his safe houses, especially one that he hadn't used in a while, so seeing as some of his silent alarms went off he raced over ready to put a bullet in some wannabe robber or maybe a goon sent by another crime lord trying to start something.

Instead he found a prime bat adoption bait sitting in the living room floor, bare stomach pressed to the side of a ginormous egg. It didn't look like any egg hed ever seen either with midnight blue fuzz covering the whole thing. "Hey kid."

The kids head whipped around, startled by a strangers voice. "Who are you?" He asked incredulously, hugging the monster egg closer to himself, "How did you get in here? This place has some serious security."

Jason gave a short laugh, "Yeah, I know. I'm the one who put it there." He watched with mild amusement as the color drained from the kids face.

"You're the apartment owner? I thought he was supposed to be some big scary crime lord!"

"I'm not scary to you?" It wasn't uncommon for people to be intimidated by him. He was, as Steph put it, 'built like a fridge'.

The adoption bait stared into his eyes for a few torturously long seconds before simply saying, "No."

Huh.

"So, whats up with the egg?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Thats my line, Todd." A voice said from across the room. Both him and the little intruder snapped there attention to the window where Robin was perched. Jason fought back the urge to chastise the little bat for using his real name seeing as he was out of costume at the moment. After all he was here as Jason Todd, normalish civilian man who came to see why his house was broken into, not Red Hood. Jason almost wished with was some goon working for a big bad even if it would have meant his secret identity was busted, he would have been at least dealing with that instead of Damians inevitable animal custody battle with the kid. Speaking of which.

"Hey kid, whats your name?"

"Danny Fenton." The kid-Danny, tilted his head. "I think."

Robin raised an eyebrow, causing his mask to sift with it, "You think?"

Danny nodded, "Yeah. Got blasted with something a few weeks ago and I don't remember much before that." His grip on the egg had loosened a bit and Robin chose this as he time to strike. Bird boy tried to lift the egg up out of the intruders impromptu blanket nest, but seemed to have misjudged the weight of the egg that was as big as both children's torsos and Danny was swift to take back his egg.

"What do you think you're doing?! Thats mine!" Egg dad hissed.

"Tt. I will be better able to care for the creature. You should just hand it over now. Do you even know whats in there?"

"No! Neither do you!"

Jason knew Robin couldn't refute that so he chose now to step in, "Where did that thing even come from?

He watched as Dannys scowl turned into a beaming smile as he told them about how he was hiding behind a dumpster for warmth when this egg just fell out of the sky and with quick thinking, managed to catch it with a bed of ruined pillows from a recent villian attack. "So you can't take my dragon egg away. I'm the only reason it didn't become a failed street omelet." Danny held his hands on his hips while giving Robin a smug look.

Before the demon brat could say anything or, more likely, try to wipe that smirk off the other kids face, a new person swooped in through the window. "You think its a dragon egg?"

The kid seemed unbothered by the Batman questioning him and just replied with, "Yeah! Look how big it is! Its gotta be a dragon!"

Bruce looked like he was about to have an aneurysm, "You found a large egg of an unknown, potentially supernatural creature and decided to incubate it?"

"Yeah!"

Jason decided he liked this kid.

Prerobin Tim

More Peter Parker in Gotham bullshit. He's friends with his new neighbor Jason <3

Dick Grayson: You ever think that if you had said no to Tim being the next Robin he would've become a villain instead?

Bruce Wayne spits his drink out on shock.

Bruce Wayne: I thought I was jumping to conclusions!

Dick: Yeah, nah I love Tim, he's my brother, but... Jesus Christ this could've been an Incredibles situation. So I'm glad you put aside how you usually are and let him work with you.

Bruce: Thank you... Wait what do you mean how I usually am?

Dick stands and walks off.

Bruce: The silence speaks volumes!

Dick: Don't care.

Rip Tim Drake (from this text post)

I need a fanfic where fanon!Dick is the perception his brothers have of him, and Dick simply accepts those ideas of him, without trying to prove otherwise.

Tim admires Dick, yes, but he thinks he'd set a computer on fire if he tried to turn it on.

Dick, being the one who helped with almost the entire Watchtower system, who hacks into different Intelligence Services whenever he feels like it, and steals files from the catcomputer whenever he needs something and doesn't want to ask for it, without anyone knowing (not even Tim).

Jason, admitting that Dick is very socially intelligent, but horrible at other types of intelligence, especially math and literature.

Dick, who was a top student who graduated from high school early in advanced classes and only doesn't pursue further college degrees because he is too bored to go to class, plus, he won every math competition he entered and was considered a genius by Bruce, Alfred, and his teachers. (And he read all the books in the mansion since he was little, but he is more fond of classic literature than modern literature).

Damian, thinking Dick is too soft, that he works on hugs and doesn't know how to set boundaries because of how kind he is.

Dick, who can be even more brutal than Bruce when required, who actually prefers his personal space most of the time (he does like physical contact, but not as much as everyone thinks), and that he has not only hurt people because of how strong his words are when he is angry, but he has gotten into fist fights with people to defend his own boundaries.

(He's still the one who knows Dick best tho, yes, he is too nice for his own good sometimes, but he's not stupid either).

And Duke is sure Dick can't cook to save his life because he always sees him eating cereal or just simple food.

Dick knows how to cook perfectly, he just likes simple food more and cereal is mostly because it is his comfort food and his need for sugar to keep going.

Not to mention everyone thinks he's a playboy, heartbreaker and all that.

No, (actually Tim had more partners than him, lol), and Dick is quite a demisexual, romantic person, who feels sick whenever something ends in a one night stand, because he feels that those things should be done with someone he loves. Plus, he really doesn't even like people complimenting him on his looks; even though everyone thinks he enjoys the attention, which is why his brothers send him thirst trap type videos made by his fans (both Nightwing and Dick Grayson's).

Girls actually believe some of these things too, but not to the extent that boys do.

It can also play on the fact that other people rather think that Dick has anger issues and is completely violent, or thinking that he was Bruce's nightmare when he was a child.

Extra points if it has a mention that he's the one who's actually addicted to coffee and insomniac, lmao.

DP x DC prompt - Mr. Fenton and His Magic School Bus

I’ve seen a lot of posts where there is unhinged science teacher Danny and people compare him to Ms. Frizzle.

But what if it can actually happen?

Like Fenton-Tech is weird enough and Danny (as Ghost King) would have access to all the tech and magic across all dimensions. Not to mention he has a good relationship with someone who is essentially the Lord of Time.

So imagine Gotham Academy Teacher Danny who believes in practical experience and/or first-hand experience.

Mix in a bit of Fenton-tech here, a bit of time magic there and you have a class full of high schoolers who have witnessed things.

It’s a toss up whether people believe them or not because thanks to Clockwork, no time has actually passed when they left.