Hey Do You Have A Tumblr

my dorlene fic had its official debut!

(hear your heels by @pinkbebasins on ao3)

OMG HELLO ??? BRB

*acquires a new hyperfixation* great! this should keep me going for the next 2 months or 24 hours

James: Do you think we’re soulmates in every universe?

Regulus: I definitely strangled you in one

James:

Regulus:

Regulus: To death. Not in the other way.

the little animations added to the netflix adaptation really made it so special for me! the flying leaves, little sparkles and electricity bolts when nick and charlie held hands, the tiny hearts over one of the main couples and the black scribbles around charlie when he had intrusive thoughts... they all added such a nice touch and connection from the comics to the show <3 everyone involved in making it put so much love and care into the show and it really shows on screen

How I vibe with every single one

Writer: There Was Only One Bed…

Smut fans: *gasp!!!!!*

Writer: So They Spooned All Night And The Brooding One Allowed Themselves To Feel Vulnerable For The First Time In Years And The Chirpy One Got Some Quality Snuggles

Fluff fans: *GASP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

what really gets to me is just how earnest nick is about his feelings for charlie, despite how confused he is about himself at first. he immediately goes to charlie the next day after their first kiss because he wants charlie to understand he doesn't regret the kiss, he's just really conflicted about himself. he doesn't ignore or shut charlie out while figuring out his sexuality and wanting to keep quiet about it at first, unlike ben. he makes it clear to charlie that he really likes him and doesn't want to go on dates with anyone else despite not being official yet. he gets really emotional when he wants charlie to realize how amazing and wonderful he really is and that he's changed nick's life for the better, and that he doesn't regret a single second with him. nick just communicating with charlie throughout the whole process is such a refreshing change from some of the shows we've gotten with lgbt+ representation in the past, and i'm so glad that lgbt+ youth and the community in general have a show like this to watch.

Heartstopper is different because it takes pleasure seriously

Since I watched Heartstopper, I've been trying to figure out what about it made it feel so different from other stories similar to it. When you just describe the plot of it, it sounds like something straight (har har) out of Glee or Sex Education or Elite or SKAM or Skins or Degrassi, or...you get my point.

But it felt so different to me, and I realized yesterday what it was. Hearstopper takes the pleasures of queer romance and eroticism as seriously as it takes the pains of it. By which I mean, it gives an incredible amount of screen time to the excitement of it, the thrill of it, the visceral good feelings of it. Pleasure drives Heartstopper, in a way that is still incredibly unusual in mainstream queer media.

In most other stories like this, the pain and the angst and the ambivalence and the negative social ramifications of the premise take up like 90-95% of the screen time. The pleasure aspect typically exists as minimally as possible to catalyze all the negative or difficult parts that are the 'real' story. And while Heartstopper doesn't shy away from those things, it gives a roughly equal amount of narrative and screen time to the two leads getting a lot of pleasure out of their relationship, too. The amount of time the show invests in showing Nick and Charlie enjoying each other romantically -- throughout the story, not just at the very end -- is just absolutely decadent (and I mean that 100% positively).

The first kiss is a perfect example. In any other TV version of this story, the boys would have kissed that first time for less than 2 seconds, and then IMMEDIATELY been interrupted by the other boys. Instead, Heartstopper lets them kiss once, take a breath, and then have a second, very extended kiss enhanced by animated embellishments designed to emphasize just how incredibly enjoyable this is for them...before finally disrupting it again with Plot™.

And the amazing thing is, from a pure narrative standpoint, you don't need the second kiss. It's completely unnecessary to the plot. You could completely eliminate it and the plot would hold together exactly the same. The second kiss is there exclusively to emphasize the intense pleasure of this experience for them. That's all it does.

Heartstopper is serious about foregrounding pleasure, and how important pleasure is in all of this. Which frankly, is a thing you usually only ever see in romance novels and fanfic.

***

One of the reasons I was hesitant to watch this show initially is because I have limited tolerance for coming out stories that are so focused on the unappealing parts of the experience. It's not that those things don't MATTER. But there is such a cultural allergy to making the pleasures of the experience a serious focus, particularly (yes I'm going to say it) the sexual pleasures of it.

Hearstopper, blissfully, refuses to shy away from pleasure, and from making it important.

It's not just that my tolerance for queer pain in media is limited (although admittedly that's true). I also grow so weary of popular culture treating queerness as mostly a political identity upon which we simply moralize about tolerance, and engage in self congratulatory yarns about ~being yourself~ and loving yourself. It's not that I think any of those things is BAD. But a) I've seen that story many times before and b) there's an ENORMOUS piece of this experience that we're still mostly skirting around the edges of because we're still very chickenshit about it, to be perfectly frank.

We, as a culture, are still scared as fuck to really say, very bluntly: queerness feels fucking good.

In the midst of this, Heartstopper does something wondrous. It says to the audience, in no uncertain terms: Queerness feels fucking good...so, let's spend some time actually talking about THAT for a while.

“I stopped telling myself that I’m lost. I’m not. I’m on a road with no destination, I’m just driving with hope that I’ll find a place that I like and I’ll stay there. I’m not lost, I’m on my way.”

— Ahunnaya

Even urban dictionary is bitter