★ 【6ho】「 그만큼 빡치시는거지~ 」 ☆ ⊳ Hu Tao / Zhongli (genshin Impact) ✔ Republished

★ 【6ho】「 그만큼 빡치시는거지~ 」 ☆ ⊳ hu tao / zhongli (genshin impact) ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter

jujutsu kaisen recs

main masterlist

pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs, luv you and thank you in advance❤️

WHY ARE ALL OF THEM SO FUCKING GOOD????????! pls tRUST me

gojo

gojo eating you out

gojo x dacryphilia

gojo loves fat pussy

sending gojo an accidental nude so he sends you a whole video

car sex with gojo

gojo being goofy in an elevator full of people - he´s big on PDA

gojo tried to give himself a haircut and now wants to go bald - this is fuNNY ksksks, I love the banter

trying to break up with yandere!gojo - yep, we´re talkin about lovesick toxic obsessed type of gojo, break up????? you know better than to tell him that sooo since you´re acting dUMB he has to fucc so sense into you bc clearly you forgot who tf ur talking to - LDKJSDFJDJFHLSHFLSHDF but he´s not rough bc he luvss you a lot

gojo is the pussy fairy - fwb, he´s your sneaky link when henessy makes you act up. he got a mf tongue piercing bYEE

insecure bully!gojo - angst, lil fluff, he´s a bully but he´s in love with that, but it´s not enough. part 2

the horniest - smut, ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD, he´s horny af, pussy drunk, obsessed, borderline crazy for that wap

phone calls - slice of life, hubby!gojo, dilf!gojo, his wife and his daughter are his only priority, this is so sdkfjskdjfh :´( i love it

cherished moments - clanleader!gojo, hubby!gojo who is a softy for his wife, #simp

family moments - fluff, slice of life, this is so wholesomeee, bf!gojo meeting your parents for the first time, i love it

someone older - smut, rich dilf!gojo, big age gap, big dicc too, talks big shit as well, "what do you do when your boyfriend cheats? you go to his house and fuck his dad" I MEAN- skdfhksdf

best of the best - smut, fwb! satoru, big sHIT talker omg, he lit asks you to be his gf wHILE he´s making you cum,,,,,best bf ever tho

love struck - fluffy, ex-fuckboy!satoru, he´s experiencing love for the first time :((((( IT´S SO CUTEEEEEEEEEE

love dumb - fluff, blurb, you make him lose his composure, can´t even focus bc you´re over there existing, someone should make a longer version of this! so good

too much - ANGSTTTYYYY, fluff too, reader and gojo are in a situationship kinda thing where they live together and love each other but nothing has been said yet, they get into an argument bc gojo has a big mouth and says a lot of hurtful things, they´re both just so exhausted

i know you still think about the times we had - angst, fluff, rich bf!gojo, his father makes you break up with him, it´s so angsty omg, they get into this HUGE argument bc gojo´s dad is a controlling mf

sanctuary - fluff, lowkey angst, weak!reader, bully!gojo, nah he´s just in love but doesn´t know how to say it

the road to falling in love - fluff, strangers to lovers, it´s a collection o moments where keeps falling harder for you, I LOVE ITTTTT, sdkfjhskdjf it´s kinda slow burn but not boring at all

loving you - fluffy af, "you’re the apple of his eyes; the love of his life. the only one who matters" ME N WHO???? pls this made my want to cry my heart out

yuji finds out gojo has a family - fluff, lowkey angst, hubby!gojo, dad!gojo, so,,, this made me cry, i love yuji sm he deserves the world :( this is part two and it also made me crY MY MF EYES OUT :))))))))

i´ll meet you forever in this memory - fluff, college au, married life au, it´s so good, he lit has this big ass plan to make you fall for him, and i mean big, like planned way ahead lmao, 10 years later he´s still asking you to go out with him,,,,even if you´re already married sdlfkjkdfhlsdjh so so cute

can´t stop drinking - ANGST, death, blood, dad!gojo, husband!gojo, mentions of wanting to die, a curse kills you and your son allegedly but in reality the elders had lied to him all these years, part 2 made me fucking cry, PLEASEEE I NEED PART 3

hype man - crack, fluff, supportive bf!gojo, he´s such an amazing bf :(, “damn, my girl ran you over with a bus, reversed, then got out and shot you twice in the foot? what did you do?? sounds like a you issue.” LMAOOOOO this is so cute and funny at the same time, i love it, such a gojo thing to say

flicker of flame - fluff, nervous soon to be dad!gojo, pregnant!reader, he´s going to be the best dad ever

nanami

when you break up and make up - nanami divorce au, angst

dorm room escapades - smut, dad´s bestfriend!nanami, age gap, GAWWDD DAMNNNN, daddy kink, this is some good stuff

you ask him to fuck you like a whore - its a short one but me likey

nanami drabbles - pwp, pls yall readdd part 2 and part 3

nanami is strong af - short blurb, smut, sdflksjd this got me giggling and shii

fifteen minutes - “Say that again. Louder. Can’t hear shit with the sound of my dick slapping into your cunt.” that´s all I have to say, your honor

protective - headcanon, hubby!kento, i love thissss

swear it´s just right for you - smut, fluff, hubby!nanami, I´m weaaaak, he´s so husband material

stressed after work - boyfriend! kento, a cute lil drabble bc he loves your mere presence

labour of love - fluff, vanilla smut, lowkey angst if you´ve been keeping up with the manga/anime, loving hubby!kento, SO DOMESTIC, love making, :(

losing his mind - smut, dom!reader, hubby!kento, sub!kento, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW, 10000/10, now this is new

his protégé - fluff, slice of life, fiancé!kento, dinner time with yuuji, it´s so wholesome :´)

my future is with you - fluff, unexpected angst, this is SICKKKKKKK, the last senteces is fucking sickening, and NOT in a good way, so fucking wrong for that, I litteraly wanna dIE

tie my tie, marry me - fluff, slice of life, "the moment nanami knew he never wanted to tie his tie by himself ever again and wanted to spend the rest of his life by your side" please just do yourself a favor and READ THIS

putting you in your place - smut, reader is gojo´s brat little sister, mean!nanami, BRAT TAMER!NANAMI, HEAVY degradation, “Maybe this was your fucking goal all along. To have me ruin you on my cock and fuck the attitude out of you.” CALL 911

edging - smut, pwp, fluff, this,,,,this is one the BEST nanami smuts out there, i just know the description of the whole thing is 100% accurate, the details, the way this is written, the visuaLSsss ldskjfhjsalfh go read it pls

married man - fluff, work au, HE IS A PROUD HUSBAND OK, the man was just waiting for somebody to say sOMETHING sljsdhfl now he can´t stop bragging about his perfect wife

toji

toji x size kink

toji x pussy spanking ´till you´re squirting - the title says it all,,, he´s MEAN

toji doing push ups with you on his back - you´re basically a rag doll,,,bc wdym he puts you in a fULL NELSON??

toji gets embarrased - the man WHIMPERED bc the riding was gewdd so reader kinda teases him for it, how dare she right? so now he has to make her pAY bc he aint no bitch

silk sheets n sticky cum - toji can´t control himself when he sees you in a nightgown so he uses you as a cum dump,,, in a very romantic way flsjdflkssldfjlsdfh, breeding kink

toji x overstimulation - fINALLY he got what he deserved, reader got him WHIMPERING, body shaking eyes rolling to the back of his head and everythangggg, I'm here for it.

take it lil princess - toji got me fucked up, straight up size kink like FRRRR he wants to break, bend and basically snap you in half (i´ll let him tbh), daddy kink, he got a big dicc as aLWAYS, the degRADING DIRTY TALKKK???? yes. he talks and talks and tALKS. there´s a lot going on yall

mine - toji mixed with monster!porn,,, nothing else to say- HE´S A WEREWOLfff, mean asf, breeding kink, daddy kink, size kink, it´s nasty

jealous daddy - slice of life, dilf!toji, megumi is a baby, toji and megumi create a plan to keep you away from megumi´s kindergarden teacher lmaooo, its so cute

nyphomaniac - smut, nypho!reader, dom!toji, THERE´S A WHOLE LOTTA STUFF GOING ON HEREE, just read it omg

family man - fluff, soft dad!toji, baby megumi, husband!toji, he´s a softie for his son and his wife ;(

unprecedented reveal - smut, fluff, mma!toji, journalist!reader, lowkey angst, "photo leaks of toji going down on you in public is suddenly exposed for everyone to know about the infamous fighters girlfriend" wELL dssdfh that´ll do it

will always be yours - smut, fluff, so basically toji only does rough sex, doggy style being his fav, but when it comes to you he prefers the loving-face to face-intense eye contanct type of sex (more like love making) bc being with you makes him feel ten different emotions at once :) DÑFLJSLDFJ

unspoken memories - fluff, lowkey angst, dad!toji, baby!megumi, married life, my heart is so full after reading this, it´s so domestic, so adorable, such a happy read

make a mess on his face - smut, toji is a messy pussy eater, that´s it, that´s the tweet

geto

gimme, gimme more - rich!geto x stripper!reader, lots of plot and build up, he is misteriousssss and fucking filthy and so cuTE??????? wtf, the wating game is real, he knows how to play his cards very well, LAWDD HAVE MERCY i would have folded too

gripping the headboard with one hand - smut, “what a slut.” hELP

protective hubby - teacher!suguru, pregnant wife oc, it´s cutee

focus - suggestive, flirty!geto, tutor!geto, “you’re doing so good for me… keep going.” I HATE ITTTTTTTT, i would fold like a mf lawn chair bitch OOF

dress shopping - very suggestive, WHY IS HE SO SMOOTH WITH IT ALL THE TIME??? got me blushing and sweating and shit

phoque - crack, teacher!suguru, twin girls dad!suguru, he accidentally curses in front of his daughters and now he´s gotta make up some bullshit story to save his ass, SLFHSLDKJHSLDH this is funny

choso

picture perfect - smut, photographer choso, he´s lowkey a perv, jacks off to oc´s pictures

suckig souls - smut, succubus oc, somnophilia, sub! choso, lil dacryphilia, love love love love it

meanie - smut, mean!choso, “Why you actin’ like some dick-starved whore? I fucked you good this morning" THE WAY I SCREAMEDDDDDDDD “Is that what you needed, princess? Some good dick?" STOOOOOOOOOPPPP

your pleasure - smut, squirting, choso discovers the magic of eating pussy :))))) aND he´s a fucking natural too like ???? gTFO

it´s too much - smut, dom!reader, inexperienced!choso and sub!chose fics are like crack to me, i´m obsessed, this is so detailed, he is eager to please sdlfjls and wants to try it all at once

fingers in his hair - smut, chose loves having his hair pulled when he´s eating pussy,,,,,,,CALL A MF AMBULANCE a bitch just died

cherry blossoms - smut, virgin!choso, phone sex, it´s his first orgasm yall, not yuji talking about a "sloppy toppy" LSJFHLSJDFHLFDH he´s so outta pocket

sukuna

itadori

vivid fantasies - smut, sukuna wants to bone you and he makes it yuji’s problem sakfhkshfksfd poor yuji

poly / multiple versions

gojo and geto are rich besties and they coax you into a poly relationship - smut

you slap their ass - reaction. gojo, geto, sukuna, nanami, choso, toji, megumi, itadori, yuta

too much for them to handle - toji and gojo version. it´s a LOT going here as well. gojo is a whole swiTCH. toji is a bully in the sheets so you know he´s all abou that degrading teasing dirty talk, we love it

slut him out - gojo, geto, nanami and toji version. y'know what,,,idek what to say about thi- IT´S NASTY FILTHY JUST PORN, reader is a whOre (not my words), read at your own risk bc i was SHOOk

how jjk men like it - smut, the gojo and toji one,,, i HATe it hereee

bimbo bunny - smut, choso, toji and nanami version, the vISUALs I GOT FROM THE NANAMI ONE LAWDDDD

birthday boy - smut, birthday sex, dacryphilia, i just KNOWWWW this is geto

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xiaotopia

3 years ago

in drunken nights

in which you take care of a drunk, clingy kazuha.

when men had stormed into your home and obnoxiously chanted, “emergency, emergency!” you hadn't expected the so-called urgent crisis to be...

“what are you doing...?” you gazed at the inexplicable picture that was kazuha choking hugging a crewmate and at least five bulky giants attempting to pry him off, all of which were failing miserably.

“kazuha had one too many drinks,” someone belonging from the crux fleet helpfully supplied, gesturing to the empty bottles of sake scattered on the table. “and he's become some sort of a hugging monster.”

which, honestly, still didn't explain why you were brought here. “so... why did you call for me?”

“please take him home,” begged another man, kneeling by your feet and tugging on your pants. “please.”

“hey!” a voice chimed in warning, followed by a hiccup. you turned your head to face kazuha, who had finally let go of the traumatized man gasping for breath in the corner. “don't touch,” hic, “[name]!” he pointedly steered threats towards the beggar(?) before you, approaching with wobbly steps.

you caught him with your arms when he inevitably stumbled, too inebriated to fully function. “woah there, are you okay?” he clung to you tightly, pulling you down with his weight. “who let him drink this much?!”

“captain challenged him to a drinking match.”

figures.

“archons...” you heaved a defeated sigh, hoisting up your giggly companion. you placed one of his arms to rest on your shoulders and held him up by the waist, sending an accusing look to a nearby crewmate. “why don't you take care of him?”

“we got our hands full with beidou.”

again, figures.

appearing not too pleased by you neglecting him, kazuha roused awake, leaning far too close to your ear than necessary. “[name]...” he breathed rather than spoke, lips nearly brushing against your skin. “where are you taking me...?”

blood rushed to the tips of your ears. “please don't make it sound like i'm doing something illegal.”

“i can't believe you had it in you, [name],” said beidou, clearly intoxicated with alcohol. she took a swig from her jug and loudly announced, “taking advantage of, hic, kazuha of all people!”

your cheeks burned hotly, amplified by the booming laughter spreading across the tables. “i am not doing such thing!”

kazuha whined, slurring his words. “you... won't do anything...?”

“i swear you're doing this on purpose.”

you were absolute sure he was. tilting his head to your neck, stumbling conveniently, and whispering words to your ear in a calculated manner — he had to be doing this to rile you up. either that or he had the natural makings of a player, with all the flowers that come out of his mouth instead of proper words, unknowingly charming innocent victims with his alluring voice.

“don't be too rough with him, okay?” one cooed in jest as you passed by him, your pace hastening with each teasing comment while dragging kazuha with you. “poor guy's nearly unconscious.”

“i'm not doing anything to him, so shut it!” you retorted, not quite as intimidating as you wanted to be when your face was the same shade as a ripened apple.

“boo, coward.”

“no chickening out!”

“dear archons, please give me patience...” you bit on your bottom lip, deciding to stay silent and cut off the pointless conversation once and for all.

“[nameeee]...” kazuhaa drawled out, tripping on his own feet. you yelped and barely kept your balance.

“what is it this time-” you risked a glance at him, groaning in irritation, and you immediately pulled back your head when your face was closer than intended and you'd just brushed noses. goddamn it.

“pay attention to me!” he demanded as a bratty child would, except a child wouldn't stare at you so deeply and pepper your face with kisses as a means to annoy you.

“what- no- stop moving around!”

“get a room!”

“shut up!”

getting pushed back to the sofa as soon as you arrived in your house wasn't the last thing you expected to happen, but you were plenty caught off-guard.

“kazuha...” you sighed, effectively pinned down to the couch with him looming above you. his face was buried to the space beside your head, unrelenting to rise. “get up. i have to take care of you, so let me go. you need water to sober up.”

“don't want to.” he stubbornly nuzzled his head against your neck for emphasis.

“this kid...” you exhaled exasperatedly. your fingers ran through his hair, loosening his ponytail. “please? you're crushing me.”

you felt him pause, considering the potential harm he may cause.

even in his terribly drunken state, his childish tendencies came into a full halt and he obediently rose from his position, though the pout on his face was apparent.

“there, good boy.” you praised and sat up, pleased with his docile behavior. “do you feel sick? need to throw up? i can get a few more pillows.”

“[name] is enough.”

“that's sweet, but i'll get seriously angry if you throw up on me.”

“i won't throw up...” his hand inched towards yours, shyly playing with your fingers. “i promise.”

fuck, he's adorable.

still, you liked to think you had self-discipline. you won't let yourself get swayed by a pretty face.

“well, what do you want to do then? feel like sleeping? it's late at night, after all.”

he sheepishly glanced at you, looking with a silent plea. “...stay with me?”

you take that back.

“you know what? fine.” you tugged him towards you and fell on the cushions, wrapping him in a hug. “friends cuddle all the time. this is fine.”

yes, most certainly. this was quite the intimate act, but not totally exclusive to lovers. you chanted that over and over again to convince yourself, belatedly ignoring the fingers softly tracing patterns on your skin that seemed to stray off the levels of platonic.

“what are you trying to do, really...” you groaned, sanity escaping you. kazuha's expression remained vacant, unapologetic for his touchy nature.

“can i kiss you?”

kill me now.

“what if i say no?”

you wouldn't, of course you wouldn't. kazuha knew that too, that's why he didn't flinch and proceeded as if nothing happened. he reached his hand to your face, tracing the edge of your chin.

“would you?”

you stayed silent, and kazuha takes it as his cue.

his lips pressed gently to yours, relishing in the plush softness. your heart picked up its pace, thudding loudly in your chest, and it only raced faster when you felt the sudden sweep of his tongue on your bottom lip, prodding for permission. you stiffened considerably, but you let your eyes close and you lose yourself in the sensation, reciprocating the kiss and fingers grasping on his shirt for purchase.

you were momentarily surprised by his abrupt shift in position, his hand relocating to the back of your neck to pull you impossibly closer, and when you open your eyes, you see pools of red, admiring each expression you make.

“you-” you pulled away, startled into wiping away at your mouth. “don't open your eyes...”

his eyes crinkled at the edges, mirth warming his gaze. “sorry, i couldn't help but get curious.”

you grumbled incoherently, tasting sake on your tongue. “so? when the hell did you get sober?”

at first, he stared at you blankly, processing your words. then his lips stretched into an abashed grin, bringing his hand to shyly rub the back of his neck. “ah, i've been found out?”

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xiaotopia

2 years ago

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST [CHAPTER LIST]

ERWIN X FEM!READER, ERWIN X YOU, NO Y/N

FIRST FANFIC SO EXPECT THE LOW QUALITY WRITING.

It’s always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords — utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3 | FANFICTION

TAGS: slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, eventual smut, mutual pining, alternate universe - canon divergence, alternate universe - college/university, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

WARNINGS: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, trauma, suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

WORDS: 170k

PUBLISHED: July 19, 2021 ▪︎ COMPLETED: August 8, 2022

Keep reading

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xiaotopia

4 years ago

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

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xiaotopia

1 year ago

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.9 words you've been wanting to hear

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot, marijuana use, sexism, sexual harassment (verbal only)

ᰔ chapter. 9/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 15.6k (WHY DO THEY KEEP GETTING LONGER)

a/n. HELLO MY DEAR KICKOFF READERS IVE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH i am soooo sorry for the wait on this one. this chapter felt very vulnerable to write for some reason lmfao, but i really hope it was worth the wait :''') see you at the bottom!! if there are typos or some things don't make sense i'm so sorry i literally gave up on proofreading this i just ended up raw-doggin it and then posting it

nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9

an additional author's note. hellooo ellie here. there are some additional warnings/tags for this chapter, i added them to the tags above, so if you know you have any sort of triggers, please refer to them before reading! but if you don't have any and don't want to be spoiled ab anything then you can keep reading lol. thank youu <33

The restaurant address that Kai sent you was just a ten minute taxi ride away, save for the five minutes you spent trying to evasively maneuver through the hotel lobby in order to avoid running into people you’re not too keen on seeing right now, a list that stacks up to just one person at this moment.

It’s a Korean barbecue place, it’s been ages since you’ve been to one, probably since they’re way too expensive for any sort of outing you could afford these days, but the crisp sizzling sounds of the grills and the savory air has your mouth watering in a way that makes you indifferent to the cost. Anything to get this churning feeling out of your stomach.

It’s instantly brought to your attention that Hana’s tipsy off of Soju because she’s slid out of the booth the second you emerge to the tablestide, and she’s onto her feet to pull you into a hug. You hug her back.

“I’m ssssoooooooo glad you’re—hic—here,” she says, voice sounding loud near your ear, but her embrace is surprisingly calming to you.

Her face appears flushed when you pull away, and you give her a smile and a kind hold of her elbow. “I’m happy to be here, sorry for coming late, I just decided I wanted to have dinner with you all.”

Minato is pulling on Hana’s arm to get her to sit down, which she finally agrees to, and you glance to the left side of the table where Kai sat, meticulously turning over pieces of meat on the grill. His eyes are on you, and the seat next to him is empty.

“You look nice,” he says, eyes falling to your lap under the table once you’ve taken a seat next to him.

Your eyes fall to your lap as well. “Oh. Thanks. I wasn’t really trying to look any sort of way, though.” Just faded jeans with a few rips & holes you made yourself, way back in high school when that sort of thing was trendy.

“I know,” he says, smirk heard perfectly through his words, “I like that.”

You ignore him, a fleeting thought passing through your head of how annoyingly forward men are to women they’ve met within a day, just something you’ve noticed recently, and then you’re accepting the glass of Soju that Minato’s poured for you. Quick to tip it back, you feel a burn on your tongue that’s just enough to distract.

“Today’s game was pretty interesting,” Minato speaks up, picking up a few pieces off the grill with his chop sticks and placing them on Hana’s plate first before taking some for himself. You find the gesture sweet. “The first half was intense.”

Hana nods enthusiastically, elbows rested on the tabletop as she waves her hands around in the air. “Uh huh, uh huh, the boys kicked the ball like whoosh. Goes all over the place! Can’t get a—hic—can’t get a single shot. No, I mean me, I can’t get a camera shot. Not them, they can get the shots of goals. The goals of shots? Huh.”

“Alright, you’ve had enough,” Minato grumbles as he drags the glass of Soju that she was nursing away from her.

Kai lets out a laugh beside you, his knee bumping against yours under the table. “I’ve watched so many of these soccer games for this job, and I’ve still got no damn clue what the rules are.”

You blink down at your empty plate for a second before grabbing the silver chopsticks laid neatly on your napkin, and taking some food from the center of the table. “Really? I’ve only been to a couple, and I feel like I get the gist of it.” Maybe it’s because you had a personal interest, though.

Kai lets out a low whistle next to you. “Okay, you’re a smartass then.”

You give him a sidewards glance. “Maybe you’re just dumb?”

Your own words startle you a bit. Minato lets a laugh out, but under his breath, while Hana does absolutely nothing to conceal hers. Kai’s eyes just widen. You bite down on a carrot stick.

“Hey, hey, hey, y/n,” Hana chirps, tapping at your wrist, “do you know any of the soccer players? Utahime said you doooo.”

You swallow slowly to buy yourself time, but give a preliminary shake of your head before answering, “no, not really.” You catch a whiff of the cologne on your wrist when you lift your glass to your lips.

“Oh,” she sulks her shoulders and then sinks down into the booth again, her head falling onto Minato’s shoulder. The man stiffens a bit and then there’s a content smile playing at his lips. A hint of a smile develops on your face too at the sight when you put two and two together. What an adorable little crush. It makes you feel sick.

Kai pours you some more Soju the second you drink down the last of it in your glass, and you nod to him as a thanks. “Pretty sure most of my photos from the first half are fucked,” he says, dragging the opening of the bottle against the rim of your glass before pulling it away, “didn’t realize until way later that my aperture was way off.”

You bring the glass to your lips, inhaling before taking a sip. You’re about to speak up about that when Minato beats you to it.

“Are you serious?” he asks, disappointed, like they’re suddenly talking business now. “I better see some good shots. Your side was where most of the action took place. Like that through-pass, tight behind the defensive line, from Nanami Kento to Gojo Satoru before he sunk it a couple mins before the half ended.”

You choke a little on your Soju at the mention of Gojo’s name, and then all three of them are looking at you. You wave a hand in front of your face. “Sorry.”

Kai grumbles something under his breath and then stuffs a piece of pork belly into his mouth. “Yeah, whatever, man. I’m pretty sure I got some good ones. Don’t worry.”

Dinner goes on like that, where you count the number of times Kai thinks that someone saying something funny across the table is an excuse to press his thigh against yours, but at least the cute way that Hana and Minato seem to inch closer to one another all night is enough to put you at some sort of bitter ease. But that unsettling feeling in your stomach from a couple of hours ago still lingers.

The four of you stand outside the restaurant, heels rocking back and forth in the cold as you all take up the last chance to debrief the day, and then Minato’s glancing at his watch.

“Alright, it’s probably time to head back. We can all share a ride to the hotel, it’s cheaper that way,” Minato says. Hana’s clinging to his sleeve.

“Oh, uh, I was going to stay here. There’s a cool camera shop around the corner. I was gonna check it out,” Kai says, pointing over his shoulder before glancing at you. “Wanna come? I saw they’ve got used film cameras.”

You twiddle with the hotel key card in your pocket. It’s cheap plastic, could break easily with just the right amount of pressure. Like your resolve right now. “Sure.”

He smiles at you.

“Alright, well I need to get this one back to her room,” Minato says with a sigh, pointing to Hana, “so I’ll see you all at the next game?”

You and Kai nod at him and then watch as he walks away with Hana on his arm towards the curb, pulling his phone out to call for a ride.

“Where’s this camera shop at?” you ask Kai once the silence between the two of you stretches out a little too long.

“It really is just around the corner,” he says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He starts walking down the row of miscellaneous shops and establishments under dim street lighting, and you follow after him before the two of you circle to the adjacent end. A tiny shop in the distance catches your eye. The LED sign above the storefront was blinking sporadically, and read 17th St Camera & Rentals, except half the letters were extinct of any light. Next to it was a 24/7 liquor store.

It’s only when you walk right up to it that you realize the sign dangling behind the glass door that says closed.

“Oh. Bummer,” Kai comments in a flat tone. “I swear it was open before I got to the restaurant.”

You sigh, pulling your phone out to glance at the time. “Yeah, at 8pm? It’s past 10 now.”

He looks at you and taps the camera case still hung at his neck. “That’s fine. I’ve still got a camera to show you, anyways.”

You blink your eyes at him, suddenly feeling a bit exhausted and then glance over your shoulder at the curb of the street to see if Minato & Hana were still there waiting for a ride. You don’t see them anymore.

A distraction. Wasn’t that what you wanted?

“Yeah, show me.”

Kai seems to know the area better than you, since he walks down the haphazardly lain sheets of concrete across the ground with more confidence than a tourist would. The thought occurs to you that maybe the newsletter photographers have eaten here before during their time in Kyoto.

“What made you start working with the newsletter?” you ask, glancing at him as the two of you walk down further, into what seems like a neighborhood.

He shrugs. “First job I could find out of college. I had a lot of freelance experience, so I’m assuming that’s why they hired me.” He nudges your arm with his elbow. “What about you?”

“I’ve known Utahime for a while. She was impressed with my work.”

“Ahh, connections,” he muses, “smart. That’ll get you far as an artist.”

He suddenly stops walking and peers off to the right, into a darkness that you can’t really make anything out of until you’ve spent a few seconds staring too. He walks in that direction, the loud echoing stomps of his boots on concrete no longer audible once he crosses the threshold onto grass, and you follow behind to what seems like a deserted children’s park. You wish there were more trees in the city. There are a lot here in the countryside, and it makes you homesick for something you’re not even sure of.

A gust of wind brushes through, rattling the set of swings hung on rusty chains. The wood chips underneath your feet feel stale, with no snap to them at all as you follow Kai through the playhouses set up in connected fashion. There are two picnic benches, one looks like it’s been freshly painted with faux effort to improve its image in the line of sight of the street, while the other has red paint peeled back to reveal bronze underneath the moonlight, neglected and tucked behind a few trees. The latter is what he chooses.

He slides into the bench, and he shakes his head when he sees you try to take a seat on the other side before patting at the seat beside him. “It’d be easier for you to take a look at my side.”

He has a point, so you sit next to him instead. Although at this point in the night, you were feigning interest. He zips his camera bag open and you take a better look at the lens. There’s no way it was as cheap as he told you it was.

“There’s no way this was as cheap as you told me it was,” you say.

He laughs, pulling the camera out and handing it to you. “Yeah, maybe the guy cut me a deal since I’ve bought from him before.”

You’re smart enough to put the strap around your neck, even though you’re only holding it a few inches above the table, because a camera like this deserves the care and respect. The material is minimalist and sleek, and it’s heavy in your hands. You click the shutter button, screen coming to life with a few mechanic chirps. “Woah. Is it LCD or OLED?”

“LCD.”

“That’s nice,” you say, “paying for the OLED just seems silly to me.”

“I concur, Canon. Color accuracy is king.”

He shuffles to pull something out of his pocket while you continue to inspect the camera in your hands, and you see him fidget with said thing over the table in the corner of your eye. The flick of something and the light of something makes you turn your head to face him, and he’s pinching the end of a joint to his mouth, lighting the other end.

He gives you a glance when you stare for too long, inhaling from it before pulling it from his mouth. “What?” You can see the smoke leave his mouth in the chill of the air.

“Is that why you chose the secluded bench?”

“I did? Didn’t even notice.”

You blink at him, and he places his elbow on the table to lean closer to you.

“Do you mind it?” he asks.

“No, not really.”

“Wanna smoke with me?” Two fingers pinching the origin of smoke tilt towards you. “This is my good weed, though, so, I charge by the drag.”

“That’s ridiculous, and no thanks. It doesn’t suit me.”

He lets out a laugh, releasing whatever tension he was building in your space, and the smell of weed is nauseating, but at least it's a new sensation to you.

“You’ve gotta be the only film major on the planet that doesn’t smoke weed. How do you manage?” he asks, the orange flicker of his joint being the only color you can distinctly see under the similarly flickering street lights.

Your finger traces the rim of the camera lens and is careful to not smudge the glass. “I think I manage just fine.”

“Yeah. With delusion,” he says, coughing, scattering smoke into the air this time instead of a clean blow.

You turn a bit in your seat to face him more, placing the camera down. “You’re extremely blunt.”

His eyebrow raises in amusement and you close your eyes with annoyance at the pun. You brush it off.

“I mean, seriously, I get you’re probably just looking out for me, I guess. I appreciate that. But do you really think my dreams of becoming a filmmaker are that far-fetched?” you ask. There’s a crack to your voice at the end that you didn’t like.

He sighs, setting his wrist down on the table. There’s a long pause where he thinks about what to say. Probably the most you’ve seen him consider what words leave his mouth next. “I was in the same shoes as you, y/n. A couple years ago. I, too, had big dreams of making movies. I was going to apply to film grad school as well, although you’re shooting higher than I was at the time. There’s no way I would’ve gotten into UTokyo’s.” He tilts his head to the side a few times while looking straight off ahead. “I sent scripts in everywhere. To every fucking production company, creative agency, you name it. Never got a callback, not even once. While all my fellow grads were landing decent, respectable jobs.” He brings the joint to his mouth again, but he doesn’t inhale, just bitterly bites it. “I could’ve went on like that, but,” his brow furrows, “I’ve seen my peers torture themselves for years for those dreams of theirs. I swore I wouldn’t be one of them. Because they’re all delusional fucks.” He finally glances at you. “Are you one, too?”

Your shoulders drop a little and your lips purse. “I don’t know yet. It’s too early to say.”

“It’s never too early to say, if the outcome is all the same,” he tells you.

You consider his words for a moment. It’s the easy way out. You should consider yourself lucky. Everyone wants a reason, a sign, to turn away from the one thing they’re scared to think about. And here he was, giving that to you on a silver platter.

But if what you wanted was really all that fragile, then it means there’s nothing to show for any of it. For all the effort it took you to get here, and all the effort you’re still willing to give.

“I’ll keep going until I fail,” you say, “or until I succeed.” It’s not really something you say for him, but for yourself.

He juts his bottom lip out and raises his eyebrows, slowly nodding his head, like he’s impressed by you. But his posture remains lax. “I mean, you’re working this job. You’ve got some sort of plan, at least. It’s not like I’m your parent to tell you what to do and what not to do.” He finally takes another drag, eyebrows pinching together at the same time his fingers pinch close to the burn of his joint to pull it away. “What’s that one saying? You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink.”

“Wow. You don’t sound a day older than sixty-five.”

He smirks at you. “You’ve got a lot of attitude, Canon. Where does it come from?”

You sink a little in your seat, turning away from him to look down at your hands that were still messing with the features of his camera. “My annoying feelings lately.”

“Feelings about what?”

You consider telling the truth. But you don’t. “My car is in repair and I’m not sure I can afford to pay for the bill, since things keep coming up with it.” It was the thing at the top of your mind at the moment though, for some reason, so partially truthful.

He laughs. “Yeah, cars have a way of doing that when you’re finally getting caught up on bills.”

“At what point does spontaneously picking up random, obscure jobs go from omg I’m so excited to have this opportunity to I just need the money?” you ask.

“You mean you’re not already at that point yet?” he says with a scoff. “Soon, then.”

You sigh.

“Y’know I used to work at this lousy cinema a few miles away from Central,” he tells you, hand tapping the table with a rhythm that makes no sense. “Busted my ass working minimum wage on night shifts because I thought I’d catch a big break in conversation with a director, as if Martin Fucking Scorcese would choose to host his opening night at a random Edwards in Tokyo.” His tapping on the table stops. “Tell me that isn’t pathetic as hell.”

“That’s pathetic as hell.”

“The things you’ll do for money,” he says with a sigh. He sounds detached, like it’s really just a message for you.

You lick your lips, skin feeling dry from the wind that occasionally brushes by, and when you glance at Kai again, there’s a grit to his jaw.

“Should’ve been born as one of those damn college athletes,” he grumbles, sucking in fast through the joint that was close to withering away. “Those fuckers don’t pay tuition.”

The harsh colors of the soccer team’s color-coded practice schedule on your phone are visible when you blink, as well as the exhaustion under Gojo’s eyes in the warm lighting of the hotel lobby earlier tonight. “They work hard.”

He looks at you. “I work hard, too.”

Your shoulders tense. “I’m sure.”

“You work hard as well.” Just to include you.

“Yeah.”

“I mean, you can’t tell me that it’s fair.”

Your mind wanders to some of the people you’ve met on that team, who have been nice to you. You think of Gojo, and the memory of him makes you wish you were with him right now. Despite everything.

“I guess it’s not fair,” is all you say, a tactic to diffuse the conversation, one that you’ve had to use twice with him today. The sound of the swing chains clinking together from the wind in the distance runs a chill down your spine.

You feel heavy in your chest, and you glance at the joint pinched in between Kai’s fingers. He’s not keeping an eye on it, so it’s easy to steal, and you bring it to your lips before sucking in. You instantly let out a few coughs. He’s looking at you with surprise. And you’re still in desperate need of that distraction you’ve been craving.

“How long does it take for it to kick in?” you ask, coughing again and pressing a hand to your chest.

“Super long when you can barely stomach a single drag.”

You try again. He watches you. You swear you feel a buzz this time, and you hand the joint back to him. You feel like you’re having an out-of-body experience.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Good,” you tell him, “really good.”

“That’s gotta be placebo, Canon.”

“No, really,” you sigh it. Even if it was, maybe your mind was just blessing you with a single moment of reprieve. “I feel…really good,” you say with your head in a haze. “Best I’ve…” you don’t know why you have to blink back tears, “best I’ve felt this whole week.”

Kai’s silent next to you. You look over at him, and he’s got a scrutinizing expression on his face. His eyes are glazed. “You seeing anyone right now, Canon?”

It’s the savory question you know has been on the tip of his tongue. Ignorantly asked, as if you would’ve been sitting here with him right now in the dead of night if the answer was yes.

“No.”

He’s leaning towards you, and you’re dazed and also sleepy. His face is close now, there’s an urge to giggle, which means there’s no way this is all just placebo, and when his lips dip towards yours, you’re conscious enough to push him away by a weakly fisted hand pressed to his collarbone.

“Oh. I. Um,” you stutter.

“What?” he asks, eyebrow raised, still close to you.

“No. No thanks.” Because it felt wrong.

He fully pulls away from you, and runs a hand through his hair, a deep sigh leaving him. “Alright.”

You’re breathing faster now, surroundings feeling vague, like you’re in sweltering heat but the air only bites cold.

You stand up suddenly. “I…I want to go back.”

“Go back where?”

“To the hotel. To my room.” You pause. “I mean, by myself. Not with you. We can share a ride, though.”

He stands up too, hands reaching for you, gripping the straps of his camera still hung around your neck and he pulls it off to place it back into the case. You feel like you’ve lost favor with him somehow. “Okay. Sure.”

“But not with you.” You felt the need to clarify again.

“I get it, Canon. It’s fine.”

—

“Maybe you just need to fuck him aggressively without mercy.”

“I beg your finest pardon?”

You’re sitting in a booth inside this streetside KFC with Mina sitting across the table, waving a fry around in the air, and with Nobara next to you as she tries to open a packet of ketchup with her teeth. The hangout the three of you have been hyping up all week, just to be sat in the same place you always go to. You were about to take a bite out of your sandwich, but you set it back down on your tray.

Mina points the fry at you and shrugs. “I’m saying. Maybe you’re having such a hard time getting over Gojo because you got so close to fucking him in that bathroom, but you didn’t, and now you’re in, like, this constant state of edging.” She bites down on the fry. “The clit knows what the heart doesn’t.”

“Your theories never fail to amaze me,” you mumble, sinking further into the booth.

“Perhaps it’ll take the edge off.” Mina sucks through the straw of her Diet coke. Nobara finally succeeds in opening her packet of ketchup.

“I doubt it. Besides, I technically already gave him an invitation to,” you say, fingers rubbing at your eye with a swipe as you wince from the memory, “and he rejected me, so, still swimming in the self hatred from that one.”

Mina hums. “There’s no way he’s not foaming at the mouth for it, y/n. Men never let a meal they were craving go unfinished,” she states, dramatically stabbing a chicken nugget with a fork.

“What kind of pigs do you guys associate yourselves with?” Nobara asks. She’s a lesbian, by the way.

“I raise another question. Why are we talking about this in a public restaurant?” you offer.

“Listen, babes,” Mina continues, like your words fall on deaf ears because she’s got some point to make, “it’ll either poof. Make your feelings go away like the drop of a hat because you find out he’s a bad lay. Or it’ll be so good that you realize you’re never getting over him and you’ll be thinking of his dick instead of your husband’s on your wedding night.”

“We’re. In. A. Public. Restaurant.”

Mina steals a biscuit from your tray. “If it ends up being the first outcome, then the whole thing was my idea. If it’s the second…then just know that Nobara has steered you wrong.”

“Why the hell do you have to drag me into this?” Nobara asks.

You’re about to take a bite from your sandwich again when you’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone in your purse. You pull it out and glance at the caller ID, then let out a sigh.

“Sorry, I have to take this,” you mumble, slipping out of the booth and towards the restaurant’s exit, pushing the tense door open with a gust of fresh air brushed through you.

“Hello?” It’s the car repair man. “Really? I thought you said it was fixed.” Apparently something else came up. “Okay…how much longer will it be in repair?” Much longer than you had thought. “And how much will it cost?” Much more expensive than you had thought. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, really, I feel as though every time I’m on the line with you all, I have to wait longer to get my car back, and the bill just racks up higher.” They’re trying their best. “I know. Is it necessary to fix in order to drive, though?” State laws require it. “Okay…thanks for the update.” And then you hang up without another word, and with all the frustration in the world.

You head back inside and grumble about your car woes to Mina and Nobara, who try their best to respond with interest.

“Why can’t your insurance cover it?” Mina asks.

“Apparently they can’t claim it’s because of those rocks I drove over,” you sigh, “since it looks like it’s been a problem for longer than that.”

“Can you afford it?” Nobara asks.

“Not really,” you say. “I’ll just have to postpone having my car for a bit.”

You sigh with a glance out the window of this fine dining establishment, into the blue skies just beyond, head drowning out the voices of Mina and Nobara as they continue to grill you about all sorts of questions that you don’t have the energy to answer right now. You had another student loan payment to make once you got home today, and just the thought of it makes your heart drop a little. And you realize you just can’t afford to be picky about your financial situation anymore.

—

“Thanks for helping me out with this,” you say, footsteps over familiar grassy hills as you head towards the UTokyo’s practice field, your digital Canon EOS hanging from your neck.

“Sure,” Kai says as he keeps pace next to you, “why the sudden mission, though?”

You’re gazing off straight ahead, a nervous pit in your stomach since it’s been a while since you’ve walked across this landscape towards the field.

“I just feel like I need to diversify my income somehow,” you sigh, the buzzwords leaving a bitter taste in your mouth as you say them but it was the reality of your situation, “to make ends meet. When you mentioned freelance work during our conversation last week, it made me think it’s time for me to pick that up too.”

Kai hums. “Yeah, it’s a good plan. I’ll try to show you what I know.”

Once you’ve made it to the top of that hill, the one that oversees the field, your eyes instantly scan the field for familiar silhouettes, and your breath catches in your throat when you spot Gojo passively kicking a ball back and forth between one of his teammates for warm-ups.

It’s the second time you’ve seen him since that argument the two of you had in the hotel lobby, the first being at the post-game conference in which you did everything in your power to swiftly avoid him, and you plan on keeping that up. There’s also an urge to run away, but you’re starting to realize that’s not much of an option anymore.

“Honestly, you don’t really need to worry too much about shutter speed with freelance like you do for shooting sports,” Kai is mumbling next to you as he messes with the settings on his camera, the two of you making your way down the hill towards the field, and you’re not really listening because your eyes are on Gojo, who’s yelling something across the field to his teammates with a look of concentration on his face.

“Uh huh, I see,” you say. You see Kai glance at you in his periphery.

“You again!” you hear a familiar harsh voice call out, and you turn on your heel to face Coach Yaga who’s standing a few feet away in his custom UTokyo tracksuit with his arms crossed against his chest. “Why are you on my field?”

You hold your breath for a second. “Hi, Coach Yaga, so sorry, but I’m just here to take some more photos.”

He lets out one of his hmphs, unrelenting. “You’re a distraction. Get off my field.”

“D-Distraction?”

“Coach!” Suddenly, Geto’s in your line of sight as he emerges with a light jog up to your side. “You should really be nicer to our photographers, they give us a lot of publicity for our games. And publicity means funding.”

Coach Yaga narrows his eyes. “I need all my players focused right now. Even during practice.” He gives you a disapproving glance and you’re still confused, but also weirdly angered.

“Excuse me, Coach Yaga, but last time I checked, this field is technically open for all students. And I’m a student,” you say to him, crossing your arms across your chest now. “So, I can be here if I want.”

You have no idea if that’s true at all, but sometimes you’ve just gotta fake it ‘til you make it.

Coach Yaga grumbles something and then waves his hands in the air. “Fine! I’ve no bandwidth to argue about this anymore! Just don’t distract my players.”

You’re shocked that it worked, and Geto nudges you with an elbow to correct your expression so that Coach Yaga doesn’t catch on to the bullshit you just spewed.

“Are you here to take some photos?” Geto asks, facing you. He’s got his hands on his hips, breathing slightly fast, some of his hair falling onto his forehead.

“Yeah, I am, just for practice though. I’m here with—” you glance at Kai, who’s standing with his fists shoved into his pockets, “Kai. He’s also with the newsletter.”

There’s a moment where Geto studies the two of you for a second before speaking. “I know,” he says, extending his hand out for Kai to shake, which he does, “I think I’ve seen you around. Not sure if we’ve formally met, but it’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, likewise.” Kai’s hand is then shoved back into his pocket.

You feel awkward suddenly, and then quickly say something to Geto about how he should probably get back to practice, which he agrees to, and then you’re standing at the chalk sideline with Kai as he shows you the ins and outs about digital photography.

“Have you tried shooting in burst mode?” he asks, switching the feature on your camera and then handing it back to you. You sling the strap around your neck.

“Hm…” you start, pointing your camera across the expanse of the field to multiple areas. The trees off into the distance, the goal posts, Coach Yaga’s yapping Pomeranian. “Not really…” The grass beneath your feet, the sky above your head, and then blurrily focused before settling on Gojo who stood in the distance straight ahead.

You see through your viewfinder that he’s caught sight of you too, a look of surprise on his face seen only by the level of zoom, and you glance up from the screen to make eye contact with him in reality. He’s fully staring at you, and you can barely see the way his expression relaxes from that one of athletic concentration to something wistful and strange that you’ve had a hard time reading lately.

“Canon? Are you even listening?”

“Huh?” you snap out of it and look at Kai. “Sorry. Could you repeat that?” You quickly glance toward Gojo again, and his line of sight points towards Kai now.

“I was asking if you’ve tried panning before,” he says, reaching for your camera, pulling it towards him, but the strap around your neck means you’re pulled closer to him too.

“Satoru!” Coach Yaga yells in the distance. “Eyes on the ball!”

“Just got to set your camera to manual mode first,” Kai mutters, confusion in his voice. “Where the fuck is it?” He’s turning your camera in his hands, which only has you stumbling with another small step towards him, your chest pressed flush to his arm, and he looks down at you for a brief second with a smirk on his face.

You hear the sound of a ball being kicked on the field, followed by the shout of one of the players.

“Ah, here, found it,” Kai says, handing your camera back to you, and just as you’re about to say thanks and you hold your camera up, you’re hit straight in the face by a flying object and fall backwards onto the grass with a painful thud.

What the fuck?

Where are you?

Who are you?

Okay, that’s dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.

There’s shouting in the distance as you hold your head with a groan, eyes shut tight with images of your life flashing behind your eyelids, and when you open your eyes again from where you’re sat up on the grass, you’re surrounded by soccer players.

Gojo’s suddenly in your line of sight, knelt down beside you and he’s holding your shoulders, trying to get you to look at him but you’re still blinking away the stars you’re seeing. “Fuck, y/n, are you okay?” he asks, and you register the concern on his face.

“Dude,” one of his teammates kicks the heel of his cleat, “where the fuck were you looking? It was clear as day I was tryna pass to you.”

Gojo grumbles something to him, his brow furrowed, and he’s lowering his head to try to make eye-level contact with you but you’re still holding your head with a wince.

“Oh shit,” Kai comments, “she’s bleeding.”

You pull your hand from your face to glance down at the wetness that you feel, and bright red color stains the tips of your fingers.

The next thing you register is Gojo picking you up off the hard grassy ground into his arms, and starts carrying you away down the field.

“W-What the hell are you doing?” you ask, his pacing across the grass is fast and you have to wrap your arms around his neck to keep from getting dizzy.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says, voice strained in his throat, and you’ve never seen him look so worried before.

“The hospital?! Please don’t, I don’t have health insurance right now.” His face is so close and you’re distracted from the pain of your headache.

“You’re bleeding on the face, I’m taking you whether you like it or not,” he grumbles.

You dig your nails into his shoulder through the nylon of his shirt, and he hisses from the pain before stopping in his tracks. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Satoru, I just need a fucking bandaid.”

“You could have a concussion.”

“A concussion?!” You kick your feet for him to let you down but his grip on you only tightens. “You’re being ridiculous. Let me go, or I’ll bite you.”

He scoffs at that and continues walking forward. “You’re gonna bite me? That’s the most threatening thing you could come up with?”

“I’m being so dead serious, Gojo Satoru. No hospital.”

He grumbles something under his breath at your use of his full government name, and then says “fine” but he’s still walking down the grass until his cleats begin to tap on concrete, and then on what sounds like tile as he carries you into a building a few yards from the field.

He seats you on a cold counter, your hand gripping the faucet of a sink, and you finally take a comprehensive look at your surroundings. light blue, faint scent of chlorine in the air

“Is this…a locker room? The men's locker room?”

He sighs, bending his knees a bit to look at your face closely. You flinch when his hand reaches out, and he pauses, but you relax slightly and then he rubs his thumb over your cheek. You feel the smear of a droplet of blood. “Yes. I need running water.” He turns the faucet of the sink on to run his thumb under.

“For what?” you ask. His thumb is running over your cheek again.

“To take care of this cut.” He disappears behind a tile wall for a moment. You can hear metal clanking, probably of a locker opening and closing, and he re-emerges with a first-aid kit.

You slide your butt across the counter to the edge, about to hop off and make a run for it when he grabs your hips and puts you back into place. “Don’t even think about it,” he grumbles. He leans forward, grips you strongly, and you see that he’s still breathing heavily from practice, strands of hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and you can practically taste the salt on his neck.

You press your shin to the front of his thigh, desperate to put some space between the two of you. “I don’t wanna be in here. Men are scary.”

“Well I can’t take you into the women’s locker room,” he says, ripping the packet of an antiseptic wipe open with his teeth, “I’d get registered as a sex offender.”

You attempt at an escape again, and he’s quick to get his hands on you to stop it.

“Quit manhandling me, or I’ll scream,” you threaten through gritted teeth, because you’re still mad at him. For everything.

“Go ahead,” he says, using his knee to spread your legs apart, then finds a place to stand between your thighs to get closer to you. “I’ve got a lot of ways I could shut you up.”

You blink at him, breath catching in your throat, and the expression on his face tells you he’s not interested in dealing with your stubbornness anymore.

“Just hold still,” he grumbles, placing the packet down on your thigh and then stepping off to the side to wash his hands under the sink.

“What exactly happened?” you ask, watching him dry his hands off with a few paper towels. One moment, Kai was trying to explain good digital photography to you, and the next you were dizzy from being knocked back onto the ground.

“You got hit by a soccer ball.”

“I know, but how?” You remember your camera hit your face from the impact too, and now you’re worried about it.

“I…wasn’t paying attention when my teammate passed it,” he admits with a sigh, finding his place in front of you again, the knuckles of his clean hand brushing across your cheek, caressing. Your expression softens slightly. He uses a hand spread across the small of your back to push you forward to him, then he gently passes the wipe over your wound.

“Oh okay so, you failed to protect me from a flying soccer ball.”

He pulls his hand from you to read the lettering on the back of the packet. “I’m patching you up now, aren’t I?” he says, annoyed. “…oh fuck, I was supposed to go in with water first.”

“So glad to be in such good hands right now.”

He gives you a pointed look, but you ignore it and turn your torso to see your reflection in the mirror for the first time. You had a small wound on your cheek, right over the bone, with some bleeding and it’s wider than it is deep. But when you look at Gojo again, who’s putting some ointment onto a Q-tip now, the look of guilt and worry on his face makes you feel satisfied for some reason, and you wanted to make it worse.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, brow furrowed, applying the cold gel to your cheek.

“Mhm. A lot.” Not really, no.

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” he sighs, head dipping towards you slightly to get a better look, “can you feel this?”

“Ahh, yeah. Ouch. So much.” Barely.

His other hand is placed flat on the counter next to where you’re sitting, and you allow it when his thumb starts to run soothing circles over your hip.

“Hmm…” you start, wide eyes looking up at him as he seems to lean closer and closer to you with every word that leaves your lips, “I really wonder if it’ll leave a scar.”

He looks tortured. His hand that was maneuvering the Q-tip in his hands drops to the counter now, and he brings his other one to your face, cupping your cheek. His eyes dart from the wound, thumb pressing at the plush of your cheek, and this time, it hurts a little so you wince. His expression is tense, some sort of inner turmoil you could read across his forehead, and then his jaw hardens.

“Who was that guy you were talking to earlier?”

You blink a few, then tilt your head slightly. You feel like you’re on a game show, where there’s four options and only one right answer. New boytoy, gay best friend, fuck buddy, or— “He’s my coworker.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

“Has he tried anything funny with you?”

You almost roll your eyes. “No, dad, he hasn’t.”

“Woah. Say that again but make it daddy.”

“Hey just a quick question for you. Where do you get the audacity?”

His bent index finger finds a place under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him. “It’s your fault, really. I can’t help it sometimes,” he says, voice lower now. You’re squirming a little, wanting to push him away but his lips get close to your cheek, brushing near your wound, like he wants to make it all better somehow. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, near your ear. There’s a whimper you have to stifle in your throat. He pulls aways just enough to where he can look into your eyes. “A cut…” he starts, thumb now passing over your bottom lip, “on your pretty face.” He sighs. You shouldn’t, but when he prods, you tuck his thumb under your front teeth and your tongue presses slightly against the padded skin of it. He looks like he’s being driven to insanity, and his other hand has no shame at all in pulling you towards him, to seat you at the edge of the counter, and you miss the texture of his thumb on your tongue when he pulls it from your mouth. But it’s so he can dip his head down to kiss you instead.

Of course the sensation of his lips on yours only lasts for a second, because the universe really fucking hates (or loves?) you, so the loud clanking of a metal water bottle against tile interrupts with harsh reverberation throughout the locker room walls, and he pulls away from you when you jump at the sound.

You both turn your heads towards the origin, located at the curved end of the entryway hall, and one of Gojo’s teammates is standing there with his duffle bag slung around his neck and hanging heavily to his thigh, his water bottle clutched in his hand. He blinks at the two of you.

Oh. It’s the one you kissed at that party a few weeks ago.

“What—…Why is there a—” his teammate starts, panicked, turning his head to double check the sign on the locker room wall as if he’s hallucinating, and when his eyes land on you again, they widen with recognition. His gaze shifts, and his chin tips down at the sight of Gojo’s irritated side eye from where he was still all up in your personal space. “…you know what. Nevermind.”

His teammate’s eyes are on you again, and you give him a shy little wave, just a fluttering of your fingers in the air paired with a small smile, legs swinging back and forth under the counter. He lets out an amused scoff from the entryway, lifting his hand to return the gesture, some cheeky grin on his face as he then scratches the back of his head before turning on his heel to leave the locker room, out of sight. You let out a sigh, hand dropping to your lap, and you don’t need to look at Gojo to tell that he’s staring at you with disbelief.

“What the fuck was that—”

“You,” you interrupt him, finger jabbing at the center of his chest, “have seriously got a lot of fucking nerve,” you hop off the counter, “to not only allow a soccer ball to sock me in the face,” he’s taking a step back with every harsh jab of your finger, “but to also hold me hostage in a mens’ locker room,” his back is pressed up against cold tile wall now while he just looks down at you with wide eyes and something akin to fear, “and then, oh my god, the audacity to kiss me?”

“I—”

“I don’t wanna hear it!” you yell, which shuts him up. “You really are just a fucking player.”

He’s stiff, not wanting to catch a punishment from you right now.

“But it doesn’t matter,” you grumble, still drilling your finger into his ribcage with the intent to cause pain. You didn’t need to be this close, but his body is warm, probably due to the blood pumping from practice, and it feels nice to be pressed up against. “Because I don’t have feelings for you anymore, so just fucking get over yourself.” It was a lie if you’ve ever told one, but you wanted to believe it so much that it could come off as the truth.

His eyes narrow down at you, eyebrows flattening. “You don’t have feelings for me anymore?”

“No, I don’t.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You roll your eyes. “Why? Because you want me to keep suffering?”

He grabs your hips, then makes a motion that is evident of his desire to pull you flush to him, but he stops himself. There’s a moment where he just takes a few deep breaths and looks at you with a hardened expression, then a split second where his eyes fall to that little cut on your cheek, and every single feature of his face softens, and then he lets you go.

You take a small step back, breathing heavily of your own, and you feel the ghost sensation of his fingertips wrapped around your hips. It makes you feel dizzy, and your thoughts are a mess.

He sighs. “Sorry. For the soccer ball, and this locker room. But I’m not really sorry for kissing you, and if that makes me a jerk, then so be it.”

Your heart is beating fast. “You are a jerk, Satoru,” you say. He doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want you. A mantra played over and over in your head that you’ve started to hear it at night. “A real fucking jerk.” And you leave him standing there in a way that feels like the hundredth time.

—

2:34pm kaito (work): yo

2:34pm kaito (work): i had my guy look at your camera

2:35pm kaito (work): it’s pretty fucked up

2:37pm you: :( oh okay isee. does he have an estimate for the fix? the lens is okay though right?

2:39pm kaito (work): yeah lens is fine, you should really count your blessings on that.

2:40pm kaito (work): but nah, fix would be around the same as the cost of it, so you’re better off getting a new one

2:42pm you: i don’t have thousands of yen laying around unfortunately. my car bill has sucked me dry

2:44pm kaito (work): well let me check with him. maybe he can hook you up with a good deal on a used one

2:45pm kaito (work): i got a 50% off on one of my canon cameras i bought from him a few years back. maybe he’s still got some like that

2:46pm you: yes could you check with him please? thanks so much, really

2:48pm kaito (work): sure. although i think the guy that kicked the ball to your face should be paying for your camera replacement

2:51pm you: they were just practicing. it’s their field

2:56pm kaito (work): alright. btw, you free tonight?

You blink at your phone screen from where you were sprawled across your bed. Before you have a chance to type out a response, your phone lights up with a phone call from kaito (work). You accept the call.

“Oh, hi,” you say.

“Hey, are you free tonight?”

“Oh uhh, I was just about to check my schedule.” You shake your head at your inability to come up with an excuse on the spot.

“Okay,” he says on the other line. You hear the sounds of cars honking in the distance. “Well let me know. I just left my camera guy’s shop, and he was telling me about how one of his friends does visuals for a short-film director, and that the director is looking for an assistant.” Kai grumbles something about someone he walked past being rude. “I think the director’s agency is Verve Films, so.”

You sit up in bed, eyes wide at the mention of the name. “Oh, oh wow. That’s insane.”

“Yup,” he says, “anyways, apparently the director is busy as fuck, so he left the hiring process up to my camera guy’s friend. I told him I knew someone that might be interested. Are you?”

You take a deep breath in and out. “Yeah, I am. Most of my experience on my resume lines up with short-film, so I’d be able to—”

“Alright great,” he interrupts, “so we can hold the interview tonight.”

“We?” you ask.

“Well yeah, me, my camera guy, the hiring guy. Maybe go for drinks or something.”

Your brow furrows. “That hardly sounds like an interview.”

Kai sighs. “Well, it’s not an interview for a desk job or something. It’s more of like—well, like building connections. I know you know all about that, since Utahime got you the newsletter job.”

Well, yes. She put a word in for you, which helped get the interview, but you still went against qualified applicants. “I guess.”

“It’ll be like that. Most opportunities you’ll get if you still want to pursue filmmaking are going to be like that,” he tells you, “if it feels informal, it means you’re doing it right. You might not think so now because you’re still in school, where they practically serve opportunities to students on platters, but it’s going to be different in the real world.”

You lay your head back onto the pillow, feeling like you’re receiving a lecture you didn’t ask for, and your first instinct is to pretend that you know better than he does. But when you think about all the stress recently, all of the not knowing, and the unsure, you question if you should start leaning into the advice of the people around you, and start to accept this career path for what it’s known to be. Unruly, unconventional, and a lot of times, unfair.

“I see. Well, can I think about it? Tonight is too soon, I’d need time to research the director, put a portfolio together, and also do some interview prep,” you say, pulling your phone from your ear to glance at the time.

“Well, tonight’s the only night that works since their team’s shooting abroad for the weekend and they leave tomorrow morning,” he says.

You purse your lips together.

“But also,” Kai says, “it’s the nice thing to do, y’know, since my camera guy is taking the time to look at your camera for free, you could at least help his friend out. By the way, he just texted me, he does have some used Canons available at discount.”

You close your eyes for a second, just trying to process this conversation right now. Kai was speaking too fast, hardly enough time for you to even think.

“So do you want to do the interview tonight?”

“Yes, sure. Okay. Just— just send me the details. I’ll be there,” you say.

“Alright cool, will do.”

You say bye, and then he hangs up.

A few hours pass by, where you spend some time putting together a flash drive of a couple of your best short films you’ve worked on in the past with other directors, as well as a portfolio of some recently developed film photography. The last thing to do was grab your emergency stash of print outs of your resume, and then you stuff it all into a folder before glancing at the mirror to take in your reflection. It felt extremely weird to show up to a job interview in something as casual as what you were wearing right now, but Kai insisted to not wear anything business. But at least you opted for jeans that don’t have any DIY holes in them.

Your face is glued to the navigation on your phone screen the second you get out of the taxi, and you walk down the bustling nightlife streets of Tokyo to get to this bar that Kai sent you the address of. But just as you’re about to turn the corner to your destination down the bar strip, you bump into someone’s chest due to lack of paying any proper attention.

“Ah— I’m so sorry,” you say, your grip on your phone tightening when you realize it was about to get knocked out of your hand, and then you look up to see a familiar face.

“Oh!” Geto exclaims from where he’s standing right in front of you, “You’re everywhere, y/n. What are you doing here?”

You open your mouth to speak, hesitate for a second, and then continue. “I’m here to…get drinks with some of my friends.”

He gives you a smile. “That’s nice. I am too.” He points over his shoulder to behind him. “Nanami got into his MBA program earlier this week, so, Satoru, Choso and I are buying him a few rounds. Or possibly a million. The plan is to incapacitate him as punishment for giving up on playing in the national league with us.”

You humor him with a laugh. “That’s sweet. Or not? Well anyway, tell him I said congrats.” Your heart starts to beat a little faster, because from the direction Geto came from, it meant Gojo was likely just around the corner somewhere. “Where are you heading to now?”

“We’re bar hopping, and I think I forgot my phone at the last one we went to over there,” he says, pointing across the street. “So I’m going to go look for it.”

“Oh alright,” you say. “Good luck with that. I’m going to go find my, uh, my friends.”

Geto tilts his head at you and had a slightly more serious expression on his face, glancing at the folder in your hands. “Thanks. And stay safe.”

You nod at him and then walk past him to round the corner onto the street that had groups of people loitering in front of restaurants, bars and all sorts of establishments as they wait in the cold to get inside or be seated. You recognize the name on one of the signs hanging as the one Kai sent you in his message, and when you’re a few feet away from it, you spot Kai. He’s wearing his typical street photographer wear, with a red flannel over a gray shirt and pants that are possibly a size too big for him, but that’s likely the style he was going for. He’s standing with two other people.

“Hey,” you greet Kai first, who has a pleasant look on his expression before he greets you back and gestures to the two people he was with.

“Yo, this is Junichi, my camera guy,” he says. “Don’t bother shaking his hand, he’s a germaphobe. Gotta keep ‘em clean for the electronics.”

“Oh,” you say. Junichi is a big man, broad shoulders and thick muscles. His neck is almost as thick as his bicep, and he has no hair on his head. His arms are crossed. “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for taking a look at my camera.”

He nods at you in acknowledgment. “Sure thing. Pretty Boy here says you want to buy one of my used Canons. I don’t refurbish them, so you’d better know how.”

Kai sighs, nudging Junichi a little with a fist. “Relax, dude, we can talk about that later. Also, stop calling me that.”

Your eyes flicker to the right, where another man stood, who you assume was Junichi’s friend and this Verve Films director’s visual effects specialist. He’s similar in stature to Kai, with that casual artist look, and he has a scuffle of facial hair littering his jaw in less of an intentional fashion but rather a five-o-clock shadow fashion. You vaguely register the scent of weed, familiar to the one that lingers in the photo lab on campus after class hours. He reaches his hand out to you first.

“Hi, I’m Ren. I work in visual effects for director Akira Ko at Verve.”

Your eyes widen as you shake his hand. “That’s amazing. I’ve studied a lot of his contemporary works, I’d love to learn more about his process.”

Ren lets a fast exhale out through his nose. “Yeah, you’ll learn a lot under him.” He pauses to shove his hands into the pockets of his jacket. “Most of his assistants always do.”

“We’ve been waiting for too damn long,” Kai interjects before you could ask any questions about the assistant position, and he glances at his watch, “and there’s still a lot of people ahead of us.”

You glance around to the small groups of people gathered in front of this bar on a lively Friday night, eyes jumping from one area to the next, until a familiar silhouette catches your eye.

You see Gojo standing with Nanami and Choso a few strides away, near the lamppost. He’s mostly turned away from you, Nanami nudging his arm annoyed at something he said, and the sound of his laughter in the air makes your heart feel like it’s at stray. Like that was where you were supposed to be right now, not here.

You watch him from the distance as he sighs, shrugging his shoulders up and down slightly before crossing his arms when Choso gestures towards the entrance of the bar, and so he looks in that direction too. He’s frowning slightly and he brushes some of the hair fallen over his forehead away from his eyes, in that boyish way that makes your heart skip a beat, and you know he’s just doing it to see a little bit better, but it makes you want to cry.

Geto walks up to them and rejoins their little circle, and holds his phone up in the air, and then there’s the melody of their voices bouncing off one another’s again. Geto rests his elbow up onto Gojo’s shoulder, leaning in a bit closer to tell him something, and when Gojo hears it, you see his entire body tense before his wide eyes are searching his surroundings, until those eyes land on you.

Your breath catches, and you hold his eye contact for only a moment before you look away, because it almost felt like too much to bear.

“What’s that folder in your hand?” Ren asks you, and you turn completely to face him so you can’t see Gojo in your periphery at all anymore.

“I just brought some of my work, for your—er, I guess Mr. Ko’s—reference if he’d like to see it after today’s…interview,” you say. “There’s a flashdrive, too.”

Ren has an amused look on his face and he shoves Kai’s shoulder with his palm. “Dude, you didn’t tell her?”

Kai shakes his head. “Tell her what?”

“Ohh, I see how it is,” Ren muses.

“What?” Kai asks, starting to sound annoyed.

Ren tips his chin up slightly to study Kai’s face, and then his look of amusement dissipates into one of understanding. “Nothing.”

“Tell me what?” you prod.

“Just that you didn’t really need to bring all of that with you,” he says. “Sorry for the trouble.”

You shake your head. “It’s fine, but if you could still give it to him—”

“I’m surprised Kai suggested someone when I asked if he knew anyone,” Junichi jumps in, “I’m used to him grumbling on and on about how shit the work is in filmmaking. Would’ve thought he’d convinced you to look the other way by now.”

You blink at the gruff man, then look at Kai, and he’s just staring down at the dirt of his shoes. “Well, we had a conversation about it. But I’m pretty set on what I want to do,” you say.

Kai lets out a scoff. “Yeah, I don’t really know how else to warn you about the shit show you’re in for, but if you want to be in debt to grad school for the next couple decades of your life, then it’s up to you.”

“Hey, jackass, try to be a bit nicer,” Ren speaks up. “She’s got some goals. Big fuckin’ deal.” He turns to you. “Although, he’s got a point sweetheart, school’s not going to get you anywhere in this industry.”

You frown. “A lot of directors I look up to went through graduate schooling. Most, I would say. I don’t understand where this rhetoric is coming from.”

“It’s coming from real people with real experience,” Ren says, and you dislike the way he takes a step closer to you to reiterate his point, “honestly, you should save yourself some time and give up on applying. It’s not worth it.”

“I’ve already put my application together,” you say, brow furrowing slightly, “I’ve asked professors for my references, spent the past four years working on my profile—”

“But working under a director, I mean really getting to work under one, beats all of that. Which is why you’re here, right?” Ren asks, but it’s not curious, it’s testing.

You feel a sheen of sweat build at your forehead, even in this cold, and you clench your hand into a fist once, twice, thrice. You’re breathing fast, and the three sets of eyes that are staring so scrutinizingly into your soul right now have you faltering, like if they took another step forward, tried to intrude what you thought you knew one more time, you’d fall backwards over the cliff.

Suddenly, a hand wraps around your upper arm, and when you turn your head to the left, you see Gojo standing there.

“Hey,” he says to you, sparing one single sidewards glare towards Kai, who immediately averts the eye contact, before Gojo’s eyes are on you again, “can I talk to you for a second?”

You look at the three men in your circle, who suddenly adopt skittish body postures, and Gojo doesn’t really wait longer than a few seconds before he’s pulling you away from them over towards the edge of the curb towards the street.

“What?” you ask once he lets go of your arm.

“What are you doing here with those guys?” he asks.

“I’m—…why does it matter to you?” you ask.

“It matters to me because of the fucking absurd conversation I just overheard,” he says, “now answer me.”

His tone annoys you, and you cross your arms. “Are you eavesdropping?”

“I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, taking a step forward to you, “who are those guys, and why are you here with them?”

You blink at him, furrowed brows relaxing slightly as you drop your crossed arms to your side, and you stare straight ahead at the blankness of the white t-shirt he’s wearing, as your mind runs blank to his question. Why were you here with them? Was it because you had no other plans? Was it because the opportunity sounded too good to be true, and you just had to see for yourself? Was it because you’ve been unable to sleep at night from all the stress, the financial worries, the rejection, and you just want to finally feel like you’ve done one good thing for yourself? To feel like you’re at least making one step in the right direction, no matter the cost?

“I’m here for a job interview,” you say to him. Your tone is flat, and you feel numb.

“A job interview?” he asks, with just about as much incredulity you would’ve expected to hear from him at that answer, “At a bar? How does that make any sense?”

“It…” you start, “sounded fine.”

“It sounds shady as fuck.”

“This doesn’t concern you, okay? I’m—…I’m just trying to make my goals work for me, Satoru, and I really don’t expect you to understand.”

“Why wouldn’t I understand?” he asks. There’s confusion in his voice, and maybe even a little bit of hurt.

“Because you can’t even understand how unfair and painful it is for me that you keep—” you have to purse your lips together briefly to fight back the knot in your throat, “…that you keep interfering with my life everywhere I go.”

His expression softens, and he silently stands in front of you for a moment. His eyes dart across your face, and then he reaches out to grab your hand. “Listen, if you still want to get drinks tonight, then just get drinks with us. But don’t hang out with those guys. They’re bad news, especially the dude with the flannel, and I don’t think you’re in a good place right now to see that.”

Your eyes see white fury at that, and you all but snap. Because the irony of this whole situation, is that you’re not in a good place right now because of him. Because of all the pain that he’s put you through, for promising to stay away but then always being near, for saying he doesn’t want you but then acting like he does.

“You know what I think, Satoru?” you ask through gritted teeth, yanking your hand from his grasp.

He’s looking at you, studying. “What?”

You take a step forward, threateningly, and he takes a step back so that he steps off the curb and onto the road, and you’re at eye-level with him now. “I think that you’re jealous,” you say, eyes glaring daggers into his.

He blinks at you, almost dumbfounded for a moment before he says “what?”

“You’re just fucking jealous that I seem to be moving on after you rejected me, because for some weird reason, you think it’s okay to not want me, and yet not want me to be with anyone else,” you say, practically hissing the words. “You don’t like seeing me with any guys other than you? You don’t want to believe me when I say that I’m over you? You’re not sorry for kissing me? Even after knowing,” you take a pause to breathe, because you feel like you can’t, “even after knowing that I like you,” eyes blinking fast because you don’t want him to see you cry right now, “you know that I like you so fucking much, and that it’s hurtful, and that it’s wrong— and even after all of that, you act the same, and still won’t promise me any commitment of your own.”

He’s looking at you with an expression you can’t read, but you’ve lost all interest in trying to understand it anymore.

“You don’t want me hanging out with them?” you repeat after him, “I’m not listening to that. Because it’s possessive. And it’s wrong.”

At the mention of them, Gojo clenches his jaw. “That has nothing to do with you and me, right now. What they’re trying to convince you of doesn’t make any sense, and it won’t help you achieve your dreams either, y/n.”

“You don’t know anything about my dreams, Satoru,” you say, just to hurt him. But you think about the sincere expression on his face the first time you met him when you told him that you wanted his help with your assignment. You think about the playful nudge of his elbow that night he stayed with you on the curb, and told you that you just had to try to put yourself out there, because you couldn’t accomplish anything without facing your fears. You think about how he’s always the first to like every single one of the slideshows you post of your pictures on Instagram. You think about the adoration in his eyes, reflected off the moonlight through the hotel window, when you told him about a little cottage on the countryside, one you’ve always wanted, and those eyes told you that he was really rooting for you. “You don’t know. Because you—” there’s an echo of words in your head. Someone else’s words, not yours, “Because you’re a college athlete. And—” you let out an exhale, “and you don’t pay tuition.”

His brow furrows. There’s a beat of silence as his confusion settles in. “What?”

“You were born blessed with talent, and you’re popular, and people adore you, and you don’t have to worry about internships, or jumping from job to job just to make something of yourself,” you say, picturing your life in your head along with all the strife, “or about all of the sinking debt, and the worry, and the— and the car repair bills,” you say, almost with a scoff, eyes sheening with tears, like you’re losing your mind, “all of the fucking car repair bills.” Your chest is heaving as you shake your head. “Because you’re set for life as long as you kick a fucking ball.”

His lips purse together, like he can tell there’s more on your tongue to say, more hurtful words, and he wants to hear you say them. And so you do.

“You’ve never had to suffer or worry about a single thing in your life. So don’t pretend like you understand what I’m trying to do here tonight,” you say, inflection signing off on the end, to tell him that you’re done.

He stands in front of you, practically motionless except for the slow movement of his chest as he breathes. His expression, tense and hurt, softens slowly, and you see him digging his nails into the skin of his palms through fidgeting clenched fists at his sides. And then he relaxes them, too.

“Does that make you feel better?” he asks.

His question confuses you, and for some reason, regret washes over you. “What?”

“Does thinking of me that way—…does it make you feel better about all of this? Between us?”

You’re breathing fast, eyebrows pinching upwards to look at him, and the defeated expression on his face makes your heart ache. He’s waiting for an answer, and so you give him one. “Yes.”

He glances down at the ground for a moment, then at your collarbone, before meeting your gaze again. “I’m sorry. For everything. And I—” the words catch in his throat briefly, “I’ll try to leave you alone tonight.”

His use of the word try doesn’t escape you, but you give him a furtive nod, and he studies your face for a few moments before he steps back up onto the curb and walks past you. You watch him walk all the way, no longer with that confidence or conviction you’re so used to seeing in him, as he steps back into his circle, to Geto’s side. Geto gives a small glance over his shoulder to look at you with discerning eyes before looking at Gojo again, and then he’s turned away from you.

Heavy feet drag you back to Kai, Ren, and Junichi, and you feel feverish. They mention something about the table being ready, and you nod. The bar is rustic, with more tables than barspace, and the four of you are seated and then presented with a small food menu. You’re seated next to Kai, Ren is right across from you, and Junichi is to his right. You watch a waitress usher Nanami, Choso, Geto and Gojo to one of the tables as well, two away from yours, and you forcefully blur your vision so you don’t have to catch sight of the expression on Gojo’s face.

“So,” Ren speaks up as his eyes peruse the food menu and Junichi waves the waitress over to order a round of sake, “tell me more about your experience, sweetheart.”

You blink at him, eyes feeling heavy, heart feeling heavy. “I’d prefer it if you called me by my name.”

Ren lets out a coo, and you briefly glance at Kai who’s shaking his head with a sigh. “My bad, y/n. Your experience?”

Your hands play with the folder sitting in your lap. “I started writing screenplays for small-scale directors when I was a freshman, and was greenlit on a couple into my sophomore year. One of the films I worked on, I had directing credits for, and it was nominated for best screenplay at Etoile Film Festival the year following.”

Ren swallows slightly, shifting in his chair and pushing his shoulders back, like he’s trying to establish himself now. Kai is clenching a fist on the surface of the table.

Ren clears his throat before speaking again. “Wow, okay, so you’ve actually got some serious shit going on.” His voice is a faux octave deeper. “What do you know about being a good assistant? Ever worked in customer service? Secretary?”

“Oh, I mean I have worked in customer service, but I wasn’t done sharing about my experience—” you try to say but Junichi cuts you off.

“First round’s on me,” he declares, “for bringing her out here.” He tips his chin to you and then sends Kai a glance.

A waitress brings by a bottle of sake, and Junichi begins pouring drinks into the glasses, then slides them across the table. Kai gives Ren a pointed look.

“Don’t get too wasted,” Kai says to him as he brings his glass to his lips, “you start running that mouth of yours a little too much when you do.”

Ren grins at him and immediately knocks down the glass Junichi barely finished pouring from him in one go, and the gruff man beside him is grumbling. “Whatever you say.”

Something had been bothering you since you came here. “Wait,” you say, pointing between Kai and Ren, “do you two know each other already? Because,” you turn to look at Kai, “on the phone earlier, you sounded like you didn’t.”

Kai’s eyebrows raise in surprise, as though he’s discovered you have some skill for foresight. You glance at Ren, and he gives Kai a puzzled look.

“Uh, yeah. I’ve known Kai for years,” he says, “we go way back. We went to highschool together.”

Kai shifts a little in his chair. “Sorry. Probably forgot to mention it.”

You glance down at the glass of sake in front of you, and the way it twinkles under the lighting of the bar. You slowly bring it to your mouth, taking a small sip, and the way it coats your tongue is less than pleasing.

“Can you tell me more about the assistant position?” you ask Ren, who’s emptied out the bottle of sake and waving someone over to order more. He already has a slightly flush to his face.

“Yeah, yeah, will do,” he says, “but first, let me tell you about what I do in visuals.”

Another round of sake is dropped by, and then another, followed by another, as Ren continues to ramble on and on about what he does for work, and how it’s entirely integral to the final piece of the film, although you’ve never really had a terrible level of appreciation for visual effects in short-film craft, since it’s hardly much work. But you wouldn’t say that, you just continue to nurse your one glass of sake as the three men surrounding you knock back more and more, and there’s slurs to their speeches now.

“Sooo, I’m so sorry, sweetheart—I mean y/n, for cuttin’ you off earlier,” he says, “but what was that experience you wanted to talk to me about?” Ren asks from across the table, and his eyes are all traveling over you.

“I…” you start, “well, I started to work with one of my professors last year, she’s a two-time Cannes Film Festival winner, and she let me under her wing for one of her projects last year.”

“Who is she? Oh wait, nevermind, probably wouldn’t have heard of her anyways,” Ren says, but when you fail to laugh, he waves his hand in the air. “Joking, joking. What’s her name?”

“Naoko. Naoko Ogigami.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of her,” Ren says, followed by a shallow hiccup. Junichi shrugs his shoulders, and when you look at Kai, he’s nodding slowly and toying with the rim of his glass with a finger.

“Yes. Well, anyways—” you start up again, before Kai sets his glass of sake down particularly loud.

“This is all bullshit. Really. I told you, filmmaking is a waste of time. Just focus on your photography, and your freelance or whatnot,” Kai says, grit to his jaw, face looking red with possibly something other than just a tipsiness.

Ren lets out a laugh. “Fuckin’ Kai. What a pessimist. Don’t listen to him, sweetheart,” he says, slurred, and you furrow your brow at him with a glare, “sorry. Don’t listen to him. Trust me, you’ll learn a lot under Mr. Ko. He’s a suuuper nice guy.”

“What’s the compensation?” you ask. It’s a brazen question, one you’d never ask so soon in a formal interview process, but this table was hardly anything formal.

“Real good. Mmm I think like…5200 yen an hour, and then also, you get your foot in the door.”

“Oh,” you sit up a little in your chair. It was higher than most entry-level anything for undergraduates or even new grads.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he drawls when he sees you’re more interested. “Good stuff. Kai used to pick these kinds of jobs up, too, back in his college days. I remember. Although, he’s hardly Mr. Ko’s type, so I doubt he’d be any good for this one.”

Your head snaps to Ren again at his words, face tensing.

“Tell her about what a job like this—hic—entails,” Ren says as he extends his glass out for Junichi to pour him another.

Kai glances at Ren once, and you watch him grind his teeth for a moment, and then there’s a hint of a smirk on his face.

“Oh. Y’know, clerical work. Stuff like printing scripts out,” Kai starts, Junichi filling up his glass and then he raises it into the air to watch the liquid swish around, “grabbing him coffee. Making sure his trailer is stocked.”

“Blowing him in said trailer,” Ren says. It’s something quiet, under his breath with a small laugh, where you could barely hear it across the table. But you heard it nonetheless. And your heart sinks to the core of the earth.

“Excuse me?” you say. The benefit of doubt sitting on your shoulder, watching in disbelief as well.

“He’s joking,” Kai says, quickly, “runnin’ his mouth.”

“Oh fuck off, Kai,” Ren says, throwing his hands up in the air, “don’t act like that’s not why you brought her here.”

Your head slowly turns to Kai, who can’t meet your gaze. Your eyes flicker to Junichi, who looks amused.

Ren leans over the table, elbows resting on top, to look you straight in the eyes. He’s got a sleazy smile, and you can smell the alcohol on his breath, and he dips his tone down low enough to where you can hardly hear it over the sounds surrounding you in the bar. “That’s how you’ll make it in this industry, sweetheart. Whether you like it or not, you’ll be working under those directors until you make it.”

You stand up so fast that your chair falls behind you, hand raised in the air, and you swiftly slap the man across from you so hard across the cheek that it leaves his skin even more red than the flush from before, and your palm is stinging.

There’s gasps all around the bar, hushed voices, eyes on you, but you don’t care. There’s not a single thing in the world you care more about right now than the anger swelled in your chest.

Ren holds his cheek, surprised, blinking like a pathetic animal. He almost looks like he’s about to cry, and you let out a scoff at the sight.

You turn to face Kai, whose eyes are wide and he’s staring up at you. Your fists are clenched at your side.

“Is this why you brought me here tonight?” you ask. Your voice is trembling, anxiety at the wake, the white anger spotting your vision. But there’s also pain. So much pain, and you’re just so fed up with all of it. “Because your belittling, condescending words weren’t enough to tear my hopes apart, so you had to humiliate me in front of your friends instead?”

Kai holds his hand up. “Woah, Canon, relax. He was just joking—…” Kai glances at Ren, who’s still holding his cheek and biting down on his lip, and then his gaze hardens. “Y’know what? It’s about fucking time you get this wake-up call, y/n. I’ve been trying to do the nice thing to steer you in the right direction, and the least you could—”

“Steer me in the right fucking direction?!” you’re yelling now, registering the way your voice echoes in the bar. “You know what I think this is all about, Kai?” You grit your teeth, “You’re a sick, stupid, sexist fuck who didn’t have the balls to go after what he wanted. So miserably pathetic that you’ve got no other fucking business than to pull people down to your level.”

Kai pinches his eyebrows together, hand on the table clenching into a fist.

You lean down closer, an exasperated scoff leaving your lips. “Why don’t you go be his assistant instead? Since I’m sure you’re good at taking it up the ass.”

Kai’s eyes twitch, “you fucking—”

You grab his glass off the table and throw the alcohol into his face, eliciting another round of noises around the bar, and his mouth falls agape in shock before he gets up out of his chair, hand reaching out to grab for you. You close your eyes shut with a flinch to expect pain. Any sort of pain. But you don’t feel anything at all.

When you open your eyes, you see Gojo standing to your left, veins of his arm tense with the tight grip he has on Kai’s forearm, and you can see he’s practically shaking with rage. He steps in front of you, guarding, and you can’t see the expression on his face, but the fear in Kai’s eyes is enough to say it all.

“That’s enough,” he says, the clench of his jaw evident through the strain in his voice, “try to put your hands on her again, and I’ll split your fucking face in half.”

You can see Kai’s breathing pick up from where you’re peering over Gojo’s shoulder, and then Gojo shoves him backwards right as Choso kicks the fallen chair to his feet so he trips over it backwards then hits the ground with a loud and indignant thud.

Gojo’s hovering over Kai, his hands shoved in his pockets as he glares down at him, while Geto and Nanami put space between you and the other two men at your table. You feel a searing flush to your cheeks. You’re breathing fast, the peering eyes all around you are searing, looking at you with surprise, confusion, shock, and pity. Your mind is racing, and you wonder what your parents would think of all this. What your friends would think of all of this. What the people who support you would think of the fucked up situation you’ve found yourself in, and the humiliation courses so deep through your veins that you just want to run away and hide. The ground could swallow you whole right now, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

You take one step back, then another, before you turn on your heel to rush out the door into the night, and you barely register that it’s raining. You can feel your heart thumping fast in your chest and in your head, that familiar knot in your throat twisting tight as you walk fast down the street and ignore Gojo’s call of your name from behind you.

You don’t want to see anyone right now. You don’t want to be seen by anyone right now. Especially Gojo, of all people, because he was right about everything, and the fact that you had shut him down about it, and the way that you had shut him down about it makes your head numb and your breathing pick up fast.

“y/n,” you hear him call out from behind you, his pace is getting faster and so you’re resorting to longer strides as well, puddles of water splashing under your feet with every step, “just wait—”

“I’m seriously,” you start, and the tears begin to fall, “I’m seriously so, so, so, so, so fucking embarassed right now,” you gasp out the words with no air left in your lungs to breathe as you continue to run away from him, “so please, just leave me alone.”

You can picture it all in your head. Something like I told you so from his lips, because after what you’ve been put through tonight, you just want to assume the worst in people.

But just as you round the corner into an alley, feeling lost with the sight of a dead end, you feel a hand wrap around your arm and then you’re being pulled into an embrace.

Your eyes are blinking with tears streaming, your face buried in a chest that is warm, with a heart beating so fast that it’s keeping time with your own, and the fragrance that surrounds you is so painfully him that it makes you sob even more.

Strong arms wrap around you, pulling you closer, and Gojo rests his chin at the top of your head. “I’m sorry,” he says softly, and you can feel the rumble of his voice, “I just needed to stop you from running.”

Your arms are weakly raised, an outline over his torso but not yet grabbing on, until you hesitantly do. And when you hold onto him, it’s so tight and strong, and you realize that after everything between the two of you, it’s the first time you’ve been wrapped in his arms.

“I feel so stupid,” you start, already hating the words because you want to be stronger right now, but you can’t.

“You’re not stupid,” he quickly corrects you, “those guys are fucking insecure losers. You’re just trying your best. You always have, for as long as I’ve known you, and it’s something you should be proud of yourself for.”

You don’t know what to say to him, you just cling to the damp fabric of his shirt in the rain.

“Things are going to work out for you, no matter what, because I know you’ve got what it takes and you’re willing to work hard for it,” he says, his chin nuzzling so you’re tucked into him even further, “and if things don’t work out, that’s okay, you’re strong and you’ll always get back up. And I want to be there to help you through everything.”

You pull your face from his chest to stare up at him, droplets of rain falling to your face and making you flinch occasionally. “I’m confused.”

His hand comes up to cup your face, swiping at a tear on your cheek, or maybe it was rain. “I thought that—” he starts, his thumb briefly running over the small cut still healing on your cheek, his brow furrowing, “I thought that I’d be okay with watching your life from afar, through cropped pictures on a screen,” he says, a chill running through you, “but I can’t. It’s killing me. And I’m really sorry that it took me this long to tell you this, but I like you so much and I really want to be with you.”

Your eyes widen at his words, and you don’t know how to feel. You push your face into his chest again. His thumb runs circles at your side through the dampness of your shirt.

“There are a lot of reasons I didn’t feel like I could date you, or show up for you,” he says, “but the pain of not getting to be with you, of not getting to hold you, and just share my life with you is way worse than whatever reasons I kept trying to convince myself of.”

You nod slowly, because there was a part of you deep inside that knew that all along.

His grip on you relaxes slightly and you take that as a request from him for you to look up at him, so you do. “I know I’ve put you through a lot of pain, and I’m really not a perfect person, but if there’s room in your heart to forgive me, I promise you that I’ll do everything I can to make you feel happy and cared for.”

Your eyes study his face for sincerity. They’re words you’ve been wanting to hear, words you could’ve pictured in your head, but the adoration in his eyes makes you realize you never could’ve imagined the true sweetness of those words when they’re said from him.

You press your cheek to his chest again. You’re not crying anymore. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier. About kicking a soccer ball, and having it easy,” you bite down on your lip, because now there’s tears in your eyes again, “I didn’t mean it.” You sniffle a little, “I know you work hard. And it was a really mean thing to say.”

He sighs, holding you flush to himself. His cheek presses against the top of your head. “That’s okay, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“But I do.”

There was no grudge at all. There was nothing withdrawn from you, nothing taken away as punishment. He just held onto you, exactly as you are, and you felt so safe in every second you spent in his arms.

You look up at him again. His hair is damp, strands clinging to his face in all the places they usually fall over, droplets of rain falling from his fringe onto your face and he does everything he can to wipe them away. “It’s too late,” you tell him, and he immediately knows what you’re referring to.

He just holds you closer. “I know.”

“I don’t have feelings for you anymore,” you say through a sniffle.

He knows you’re lying, and that you say it just out of spite, but he holds your head to his chest. “I know.”

“You’ll have to beg and grovel, and even then, I might not like you ever again,” you say, gripping so tightly onto his shirt for purchase, your voice sounding muffled as you breathe in the scent of him. “That’s your punishment.”

He presses a kiss to the top of your head. A firm press of his lips, lasting as he takes a few deep breaths. And then he kisses the same spot again, staying still in that position as he repeats himself.

“I know.”

a/n. phewww thank you for reading, i swear, this chapter felt like a goddamn war to write. my emotions were all over the damn place, i think cause i wrote from a place of bitter experience lol. i dedicate this chap to my lovely friend she’s a film major (she inspired me to create this story) and i srs wouldn’t be able to write kickoff without her 😭💕 dear M♥︎, i thought of you sm while writing this chapter, i can only hope i’ve captured even the slightest bit of the understanding i will always aim to have of you, and that you feel seen. i’m incredibly proud of you, always rooting for you, so often thinking of you, and terribly missing you so much rn (plsssssss visit meee😩💔 ) dedicated w sm love 💕 -bitchasshoe this chapter is also dedicated to anyone who’s going through a hard times n maybe just trying to figure themselves out :”) i am so proud of you, you should be so proud of yourself, there’s still so much to live and learn, and i hope the universe blesses you w everything you’ve ever wanted!! big thank u to my lovely m00t @quinnyundertow she pulled me out of my writers block for this chapter and also beta read a lot of it for me 😭 and by beta read i mean left the funniest fucking comments everywhere and i will forever remember how hard i laughed 🤣 i adore u sm thank you <33 SHES ALSO A WRITER TOO GO CHECK HER OUT on ao3 she is an amazinggg writer there’s only three chapters left for kickoff (i’m gonna cry just thinking ab it :”)) which doesnt sound like a lot but there’s still a lot i’ve got planned 😭 i’m just noticing that i very poorly planned the second half of this series. chapters 1-6 combined have less words than chapters 7-9 combined 😅✨ sooooo i may increase the chapters from 12 to 14 by splitting them up to make it easier on me, or just stick to the plan and come out with long chapters like the last two. idk. i’ll figure it out. thank u to everyone for reading i love you all dearly 😭💕 i’ll see you in the next one!!

➸ you're all caught up!

➸ wrote some kickoff headcanons here

taglist: @who-can-touch-my-boob @therealestpussyeater @lost-resonance @hojoslutoru @foulprincesscycle @luniunia @alekssashka7 @bsdicinindirdim @tsukikourito @getitsatoru @slut-4-gojo @cactisjuice @kissofife @tiredflame132 @cliosunshine @ethereally-lyann @btszn @prince-wyiilder @semra4 @gojosimp26 @drthymby @ninitoru @bbyxxm @fvsm4x @sadmonke @zoinks1010 @bakuhoethotski @horisdope @sykostyles @aquaberrydolphin @colouringfrogssittinginleaves @ri-sa20 @purplehallow11 @mwtsxri @ritsatoru @bxddiebloss @chwesuh-imnida @mo0nforme @viware @still-fking-single @megumisthirdog @gintokhi @karvokr @cierocanteat @imjustaweirdnerd @ronniebird @bloopsstuff @mwtsxri @witchbybirth @tetsuski @fffinskye @gh0ulkz @beabadobeee @mandysfanfics @erencvlt @laviefantasie @sukunamylovexoxo @girlkissersco @itzjuliana @yell0wdreams @1dimas7 @strayedjeno @mo0nforme @yungbloode @sullybrothersmate @oaooaoaoaoa @swagangelllamawolf @banenemilk @inniesblog

(hope i didn't miss anyone thank u all sm!!)

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xiaotopia

4 years ago

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xiaotopia

3 years ago

👏🏾Education 👏🏾is 👏🏾a 👏🏾right,👏🏾 not👏🏾 a👏🏾 service 👏🏾

Pass along and use the shit out of them

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xiaotopia

2 years ago

𝐈 𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝄞

Genre: fluff, slight angst, slight smut

Characters: Yoshida Hirofumixfem!studentreader

Warning: possessiveness, stalker, death, blood, gore, mature scene, knife, underage drinking

Synopsis: It's a typical student falling in love the most popular student, but nothing is ordinary when she finds the truth.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The morning breeze outside woke you up, slightly shivery despite wearing a coat that you mother insisted you to wear. She was afraid you'd catch cold and have red nose the whole day would make you look like Rudolph the red nose reindeer.

You shook your head thinking how your sibling would tease for having red nose, it's stupid but he's only young he'd pick on you just as much you tease him whenever his crush was around. You stuffed your hands inside your pocket slightly cursing to the weather it wasn't helping.

You could only wish you could stay inside your warm bed and just sleep, but you didn't you chose to go to school since you knew missing school for the fifth time wasn't a good idea and you were behind your classes, you walked to school with you head down since you were pushing yourself to at least be productive since the past few days you were burnt out.

Especially when you have classmate who ask you to do their essays and other homework, you earn money from doing so but honestly it was taking so much of your time that you end up sleeping late or sleepless nights.

You hid this from your parents, after all they don't want to see their daughter was being treated like this afterall you were invincible to everyone, maybe the teachers don't care if you still don't show up to class today, that made you stop right in front of you school, few minutes before the bell rings you still debated over the fact of leaving or staying.

As you turned around you suddenly bumped into someone chest.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." You rubbed your forehead as you felt his hands on your shoulder, you looked up meeting a black haired boy with piercings on, his eyes met yours before he smiles at you.

Rubbing the back of his neck as he was seemingly flustered.

"Are you okay?" You simply nodded, you were lost for words he was just incredibly good looking he swiftly moves away past you as he walks inside your feet just moves on it's own.

You changed your shoes before heading to your class, you seat behind the class, it was right next to the trash can but somehow it wasn't so bad after all it gives you the view watching the trees sway and the cloudy sky. You mutter 'excuse me' as you make your way back, just as you place your bad down students came to your direction dumping their notes books on your table. You flinched with their slamming carelessly, you knew the drill it means to do their homework.

The girls snickered at your pathetic state, you could do was stare just as the bell rings again your homeroom teacher came in. The class representative stood up as everyone follows. You quickly gather the notebooks away from your desk but one had fallen the other boys looked at you before they roll their eyes.

"You may all sit down." The teacher announces. You were about to reach down for the notebook but suddenly you felt a hand tug your hair harshly, you let out a whimper.

"Hey, you better not mess this up just because you've been gone for awhile this doesn't stop." The teacher's eyes fell on to your direction but she couldn't see clearly what was the ruckus going on at the back.

"Himari-san what's going on over there?" Her voice was stern rather than caring, she quickly retracted her hand as she pat the back of your head little bit harsh, too much damn volleyball her hand was heavy.

"Nothing, I was watching over her head since she was dangerously close to get hit by my desk." She gave her a wide smile, the teacher took a quick glance at you as you took the notebook inside your bag. She quickly averted her eyes away but the girl beside you gave you a death look before showing you her middle finger.

You felt tears were about to fall from your eyes, you hid your hands under your desk as you clutch on your skirt trying to fight away the need to cry.

Just before that, there was a sudden knocking.

The door opened showing the principal with two boys behind him, the principal greeted the class then the two student followed behind him.

"These two gentlemen will be joining you, take care of them." The principal bid good luck before waving as he walks out, the homeroom teacher encourages the two new student to greet themselves.

"Hello, I'm Denji." The boy with blond scruffy hair tiredly wave, the boy beside him was the one who I bumped into just this morning.

"Hello, I'm Yoshida Hirofumi, please take care of me." He smiled just then the girls started shrieking over, even Himari was clearly drooling over him.

Instead of staring I just looked away, not long after he might start joining everyone else dumping homework, essays maybe even ask for cheat sheet in exams. I was ready to expose everyone but I couldn't I was a coward, I don't want my father to lose his job nor my mother to get called by harsh names neither do I want my brother to lose all his friends.

It's such a unjust life, I hate everything yet it never stops even in my dreams I end up crying remembering that one moment things went beyond control.

ꕥ throwback ꕥ

It was November, I messed up again. I lost Mina's notebook even though I swore it might have been at my house they didn't believe me. She got scolded by our history teacher since she was the only one who didn't have homework, she blames it on me because I forgot that her homework was beside my desk, she cussed, hit, punch and even threaten me that my father will lose his job at the corporate.

I had no power, I was weak, I don't have a title neither do I have a chance to stand against them. I cried and cried that day they followed me as I walk home, everyone was there they told me to stand on the bridge.

With shaky legs I followed, I sobbed in front of them as they only took photos and video of me. I begged them to stop, my vision was blurring as I hold tightly to the scarf my brother gave me for my birthday.

"Say it out loud! We can't hear you." One of them shouted, laughter followed.

"I'm a stupid whore, I'm useless, I'm a trash person." I shouted Mina clapped as she walked toward giving out her hand.

"I forgive you." She smiled, just then she suddenly pushed me off the bridge, before I knew it I was falling to the river. In death I never wanted it to be them the last thing I'll see, I want to hear my mother's humming her sweet melodic voice, my brother's endless teasing and he always knock on my door bidding goodnight and I'd kiss his forehead as he rubs it off, and my father. I miss our endless night ride whenever we want he'd even take me out to eat even at late nights.

But wouldn't it be better?

That I'm gone.

They won't be harmed anymore, right?

I felt something moving around me, I felt like I was floating, something moving then splashing.

It was ticklish, I slowly open my eyes I looked around and saw darkness but the water was clear, glowing as I watch thousand of koi swimming around.

"You would be a bitter on to eat." A voice echoed, I looked around only to be met by a female who was naked but her parts was covered by her long dark hair, her eyes were fully black as she has gills on the side of her cheeks, her pointed nose and large fangs that was peaking out of her crimson lips.

She was pale yet with her grisly appearance she look rather elegant yet terrifying.

"I can smell your anger from here, it follows with sadness. I prefer to eat men however my children deliver a woman instead." Her slim pointed fingers caress the koi that swims in her direction.

"I guess you and I know what it feels to be alone. Suffer alone, cry alone, we never learn don't we?" Her voice was sultry, she moves closely it came to my view that her legs were covered in scale, it shimmers with holographic colors appearing she sit beside you as she carefully observes you with her fingers playing with your hair.

"I know, make a deal with me." She said, you looked at her confuse written in your eyes it cause her to giggled as she clasp her hands in delight.

"One thousand years and finally I found a perfect one. I'm the koi devil, I'm not that powerful nor harmful towards humans but I can only assure you wealth, luck and power in life." She hummed tracing her finger on you as she stop in front of you.

"You have no clue, do you?" It came out as a whisper, her face falls into sadness.

"You died, my koi took pity on you. It'd be waste for you to die now don't you think?" Just as she said that I realize I wasn't breathing.

She used her finger pointing to my chest were my heart was. Her bores into mine as she closes the gap her lips was in my ear.

"What do you say kid? Make some risk to live again, don't you want to live?"

ꕥ End of throwback ꕥ

The devil left a koi symbol on my left chest, it doesn't hurt since I have gotten use to it. I woke up in the hospital my parents were outside talking with the doctor and my little brother who was curled up beside the window I could hear him sobbing.

That day I thought meeting the koi devil was just a dream but it wasn't, they don't see it, none of them could see the koi symbol on my chest.

The deal was real she gave endless abundance in our life, a new home a new car we moved out few days after I woke up in the hospital, I move to a different school but nothing changed I was still the same I live the same life that I thought would change, money can't even buy me a new life.

I heard shuffling that instantly stopped me from spacing out.

I realized Yoshida took the seat in front of me while Denji took the seat beside him. He turned as he gave me a smile followed by a wink. I instantly place my palms on my cheeks.

I heard the girls scoff at me, just when the day continues on and the school lunch bell rings I realize I left my wallet it was in a different bag. I dislike about myself is how forgetful I can get.

"Hey aren't you going to get lunch too?" I was surprised Denji talked to me, I just shook my head. Suddenly a gurgling noise coming from stomach made me even more embarrassed.

Yoshida turned around as he place his lunch bag on my table, "I have made a lot this morning, share it with me." He hands me extra chopsticks as Denji drag his chair and sit beside the table before munching down on his own food, they shared jokes and made me laugh every second, Denji who was talking while munching as some few food particles kept spewing out of his mouth only made me laugh since Yoshida kept telling him to stop talking while eating. He even kept giving me more even when I'm starting to feel full he said that seeing me eat makes him full, I wish it stayed as this forever, Yoshida being kind and Denji won't see me different like a trash that everyone calls me.

I begged in my mind, 'please don't let this change.'

After the day, Yoshida was surrounded my girls left and right, I even got pushed and bumped into no one even apologized as they all swarmed him.

"Man, he looks ungrateful if that was me I'd never hesitate to be cocky. I'd feel like I win in life." Denji turned to you as you both walk out, he notice the amount of notebooks you have in your arms as he lend a hand to help you carry them.

But he noticed the name written in front, he can't help but wonder.

"Will you be sending this to the faculty or something? None of these are yours." He mentions, you quickly shook your head but you had no idea what to tell to Denji, you didn't even dare to think you'd tell him the truth.

You heard Yoshida calling out to the two of you, panting as he manage to escape a group of his fangirls.

"Let's go, I don't need more girls around me." The three of you ran off the voices died down, Denji walks home as Yoshida insisted walking you home.

Just as you reach to your place you were quick to bid Yoshida farewell. But he suddenly reaches out to your hand.

"Can you help me in some classes, I don't really want to be left behind plus asking Denji about school is the last thing I'll do since you saw him snoring throughout the day." You giggled as you nodded.

"Great, my place or yours?" You froze, replying 'what'

He suddenly blushed too, since the question sounded a little bit different. "I mean, we can go to a park or library maybe some-"

"I'll meet you to your place instead. My brother tend to be loud since he always bring his friends over, it will only distract us." He nodded, agreeing as he let go his hold to your wrist.

"See you tomorrow." He waves off, just when you enter you mother who was evidently smiling like a mad woman.

"Was that a boyfriend?" She giggle like a teenage girl in love.

"No, he was just nice to walk me home."

"Yeah, definitely not a friend more like boyfriend." She continued to tease.

"You know that's how I end up with your father, eleven years of friendship only after college we got you. Maybe it could be the same with him." You were blushing, as you quickly make your way upstairs.

Days passed, exams were near then after that will be a Hanabi festival you were excited and half hoping that Yoshida would ask you out.

He has been the same since day one in school, he'd walk you home, share his overloaded brought lunch he'd even make you bento, he'd pick you as his partner that makes Denji feel left out but he'd only complain that he hasn't been able to pair up with you, he'd end up getting paired by another student, Denji only likes school for food. Maybe even seeing girls during PE classes, Yoshida would drag him away since he'd be seen as a pervert. Each day felt much different it only felt different since they came, maybe life was starting to much better and that's how you want it to be even when they are the only friends you have you wouldn't dare ask for more.

Maybe you do, because it has only been days that you started to develop feelings for Yoshida. Even if girls swarmed him to no end they had no idea how he really is and you don't even dare tell them everything, you know where he lives, what his personality is like and even watched his favorite movie, he's a good cook and he makes little letters just for you encouraging to always smile.

Today you happily arrived at school, wearing you new ribbon you added light makeup and even sprayed on perfume. You don't care if girls start to push you down as a hobby you did this for Yoshida and for yourself to feel prettier.

Just as you arrived you saw it clear as day. Mina who was sitting on your table, Yoshida was happily chatting with her they were immersed in the conversation they were having. Denji who remained silent and asleep on his table, your heart shatters seeing Yoshida with the girl you hate your whole life every bit of fiber in you wants to end her and you can but you just don't want to be labelled as a killer.

" [Name]!" Your eyes met Yoshida's as he waves at you with that perfect smile, Mina did the same as if pushing you off the bridge never happened. Your body remembers the fear, the feeling and the time you were hospitalized for almost a week.

Mina quickly stood from her seat, jogging towards you as she gave you a tight hug.

"We finally meet again." She whispers to you, pulling away as she giggles. She hook her arm around yours as she tells Yoshida that you and her have been great friends but since you moved out she hasn't been able to contact you.

She kept telling so many stories about you and her, but you didn't got the nerve to stop her, she was spewing lies over lies you only stood there like a fool with lips trembling as you clenching you fist tighter each second with your nails digging deeper in your palms would leave crescent marks.

"We lost contact when she tried to end her life, we tried stopping her but [name] has always had tough life. I miss her though, she was quite handful back then." Mina crosses her legs as she bats her eyelashes, smiling every now and then.

"I see, I never knew about that. I find her incredibly amazing besides we've been seeing each other every now and then." You could hear Mina's irritation, gritting her teeth as she peers over her shoulder to look at you.

"She has no idea how lucky she is." Mina smiles at you, the day went on. Just after class you ignored Denji who doesn't even deserve the cold treatment as well but you were trying to avoid Yoshida, taking bigger steps just when you bumped into Mina and her gang, smirk painted her red lips.

You fell off landing on your butt, Mina reached out her hand causing you to flinch and back away.

But she was quick to grab a handful of your hair, as she pulls it upwards making you wince grabbing her wrist as you plead her to let go.

"No, I just want to know how the hell is this piece of trash still alive." Mina was a mad woman, but she has no idea no one does, you can't die and you won't be because that was the deal with the koi devil, live your life until you die of old age even if you get hit, beaten or bleed out the koi devil always gives you chances to be alive over and over again.

But you won't forget one thing she mentions.

"If you want power, just call out I'll help you finish those disgusting human, but just so you know I love haunting for men."

That day they dragged you by the hair to a empty room, Mina kept hitting you while others laugh, some of which helped Mina giving her a plank of wood or they threatened to burn you.

It was endless and it was painful, you just wish maybe taking the deal wasn't a bright idea. Maybe it was better if you just never live again but you would be so selfish to lave you family.

But this time instead of thinking about them you thought of Yoshida, his smile, his voice the way he looks at you with much care and sincerity it almost felt like heaven, almost because it would be whole if you finally got a kiss from him.

He makes you want to start life all over again, he was the reason why you want to be happy again. He gives comfort even in times he might have no idea you'd need it. Days were you spent inside his apartment, it was only new to you that he was the only one who treats you different even Denji.

It felt nice to be noticed.

Mina kicked your rib causing you to groan, blood coming out of your lips. They left you alone but Mina hasn't moved from her spot. She crouched down with her hand squeezing both of your cheeks making you look at her.

"Hey, Yoshida's mine." She left the silent became loud.

You couldn't move your body, you manage to roll to your side laying on your stomach but you kept coughing and moaning in pain.

Before you know it you started to lose your vision but you swore you heard someone calling you just then you passed out in the cold.

It has been another day you laid in the hospital, Denji came in with an old man with him who claims that he was Denji's guardian. Denji made chocolates and bought flowers even tons of balloons, it made you laugh but you winced since your ribs were broken.

Denji pleads to you to tell him who hurt you but you simply shook your head telling him your alright.

You would hear Yoshida's voice right outside the room asking your parents how you were, they find Yoshida as a friend of yours they were relieved to finally met one of your friends but your father wasn't fond of the idea that it had to be a man, but nonetheless your mother accepted it.

You'd pretend you were asleep when he comes in to your room, you'd hear him carefully carry a chair and sit beside the bed, that was the only time you felt him hold your hand.

It was warm and it made you feel something you can't quite explain.

Even though you were just pretending to fall asleep you wouldn't realize you were drifting off to you dreamland.

But you heard him say, "I'll never let you go, you know I can't your the only one I have left."

The day of examination came, your parents talk to the principal if you can take the exams in the hospital instead since you were still healing, they agreed but your homeroom teacher had to be present that time, it was only the first time she ever showed concern on her stoic face.

Counting down the days it was only three days away from Hanabi festival. You arrived home and your younger brother quickly jumps off to his feet giving you a hug.

Your mother scolded him to be careful, at dinner they were talking about moving out and finding a new place to stay, your father would find another job and you brother promise that when he get bigger and older he'd protect you. It was suppose to make you happy but you didn't feel anything.

It only made you feel worse, they sacrifice their lives to move out, another job, another new school, a so-called new life?

No matter how many money they earn, no matter how many times they say to move out to another home, you just felt like your life was meant to be this way and they had no idea that their daughter made a deal wit the devil.

You ran upstairs, locking you room door as you sobbed covering your face with your pillow. What felt like forever, you were staring off at the ceiling.

"Koi." You whispered.

Suddenly the room became darker and darker, it started to get cold as the candle lantern started flickering.

"You finally summoned me." A sultry voice echoed inside your room.

"I want you to fully come to me, I'll feed you my blood anytime you want." The devil snickered. She wore a rouge off shoulder kimono, her hair softly floating around her back as he left hand holds a long smoking pipe with gray smoke coming out of her crimson lips.

"I just need you to do what you want to do, I don't need your blood just find me a man to eat and stop being this pathetic. You know I saw something in you when I made that deal, I need my sacrifice!" You flinched at the last part, you fed her devils that made her disgusted with taste, she'd bathe in blood to make her young and glowing, her koi fishes swarmed around mid air as she looks stern right in front of you, her chest heaving as she lets out a disappointed noise.

Sitting down to your bed, she crosses her long arms.

"Kill them for my satisfaction even if it's a woman I'll bathe in her blood, but don't you think I can you ogling over this boy. Sadly I can't eat him." She pouted, you looked at her with your brows knitted close.

"How come?" That's when she smirk reaching to her eyes.

"Denji is a chainsaw devil, he smells delicious but I'm not after him but the boy you like also is a devil hunter. Just like you he has a deal with a devil." She stood up making her way towards you as she brush her pointy fingers on you face.

"It's simple, just come up to him that's all." She left and the room became bright, you felt your brother shaking you from your dreams.

You quickly opened you eyes and sat up, your brother was worried. You opened your arms as he gives in to give you a hug.

"I thought you were having a bad dream, so I had to wake you up." His words caused you to smiled, hugging him tight as he bid goodnight.

As he left only seconds later your phone ringed, it showed Yoshida's name on your call screen.

You picked it up, he asked you to look right outside the window. There he waved with both his arms as he looked happy and relieved to see you.

Maybe just this time again, take some risk then later on you can do what your devil wishes you to do.

It was around midnight, Yoshida drove you around you just wanted his moment to last forever, he took you to his place as he promise to cook late night dinner he even stole few alcohol from Kishibe, he was surprise he hasn't realize it just yet.

As you both moved the food to the coffee table, he turned on the movie as you slurp your noodles.

Everything was going quite well, that's until half of the second bottle was finished, the first bottle was now being used to spin, you exchanged questions as he listened to every detail.

He sat beside you on the floor, he was pretty close the distance was non existent.

Slowly by slowly, his hands move a strand of hair but his eyes stared to yours as he moves closer with his hand cupping you face.

His lips met yours, soft and hungry, and he took the kiss with the tenderness of a promise.

Your body moving on top of him as you straddle him, his hands resting on your waist as the kiss started to get more intense.

You started to unbutton your top while his hand snake down to your legs, his hands resting on your thighs made you feel warm. He moves to kiss your neck, light whimpers coming out of your lips only ignites Yoshida to keep going.

He pulls you down to his crotch, your underwear would be wet by now and he would feel it too. You moved as you humped on him, he groans throwing his head back.

You move your hands feeling his body underneath his white shirt, you kept moving and moving until you feel something coming down to you.

"Keep going doll." His lips was close to your ear, each grunt and pant of his breath was just making you even wetter.

Suddenly a knock came, causing you both to stop.

"Hey! I got snacks, I couldn't sleep neither can Nayuta." It was Denji, Yoshida groaned. You carefully went off him, you turned away but Yoshida was quick to move.

He had both his hands on your waist pulling you into a long kiss. Before he rest his forehead on yours.

"What are you doing to me?" He whispers, his eyes meeting yours only causing you to melt.

You fixed your clothes and hid the bottles away, you tied your hair into a bun. Yoshida quickly puts on a sweater since he still had a evident bulge on his pants.

He opens the door a grumpy looking Denji comes into view with a girl hiding behind him, "you took forever to open the damn door." Denji comes in as he notice you were here, his frown instantly turned into a smile as he became a puppy towards you.

You met Nayuta and they had to explain who she was but Denji just metions that she was his younger sister.

The day went the same however your mother allowed you to skip school, she started to speculate something might be stressing out out perhaps your classmates or the school, she couldn't stop thinking what it could be but you reassured her that you were alright.

You jumped happily, you waited for Yoshida to ask you if you wanted to go see the fireworks.

It was around one thirty, your mother came knocking to your room telling you there was a boy who was wanting to see you. You happily jogged down the stairs, passing by your brother whose face was smudge in chocolate.

You opened the door, suddenly your smile turn downward. It was Denji who was leaning by the cement wall, he noticed you as he idly waves.

"Schools boring without you." Denji says making you giggled. You tried to hide your disappointment that it wasn't Yoshida.

"I'm actually here to ask you if you want to see the fireworks with me, Yoshida went out to ask Mina." Your heart sank on the ground. Did people really see you as nothing. Not even a human, not close?

You swore you heard the koi devil's laughter, it made you slightly uneasy. But rejecting Denji wasn't your choice you just simply agreed.

You went back in as Denji bids goodbye, he promise to pick you up early. You head back in your father was going to be late as the three of you have dinner.

You told your mother you have a date tomorrow, she was quick to her feet finding the perfect Yukata for you to wear.

She laid everything out for you, you wish you just as excited as her but you tried to cheer yourself up, Denji was nice enough to ask you why can't you just be grateful?

That night, you had nightmares it was throwing you back into the past, everything started to haunt you down again it was even difficult to wake up you could hear Mina and the others. You woke up with tears in your eyes, you sat up pushing your legs close to your chest as you let a sob out.

The morning came as your grandparents bought Wagashi and Mochi since it was you and your youngers brother's favorite snacks, your mother made tea as your father hugs her mother but he got scolding since we haven't visited them in awhile.

Later on that day your grandmother and mother helped you put on your Yukata, your grandmother even gave you a hairpiece she keeps that has been passed down since Teisho era. It was covered in gold, emerald and tiny diamonds.

The family were amazed by how you look, you turned to the mirror you thought you started to look like the koi devil herself, maybe she was becoming fully with you. The long silky dark hair, pale skin and eyes like cat, instead of feeling fear you were feeling over confident and powerful.

They can't see the koi symbol on your left chest, you lightly rubbed it you felt pleasure like how it was nights ago when you made out with Yoshida, your eyes falling back to the mirror you saw the koi devil smirking at you.

You read her lips, suddenly the doorbell rings.

Your father answered it, he wasn't please to see a boy, and that boy was Denji.

He wore a navy colored yukata with black sandals. You bid your family goodbye's but your father had a stern look on Denji which made the poor boy uncomfortable.

He points to Denji, "No touching, no kissing, no cooties and I'm not hearing any objections." He received a slap on his chest from his wife.

"Ignore your old man, have fun you two!" She waves off as your brother just wave as well while eating mochi.

You two walked around stall to stall, trying games and buying food. Denji was enjoying himself but you were looking around the crowd trying to find Yoshida, Denji tugged your sleeve as he points to another game stall.

It was stall that has ropes above, you have to pull which ever rope to get a price. Denji was drooling over the ninetendo but he also wants the stuff toy and even the large sack of rice crackers.

In the end he got a bag of fluffly heart shaped marshmallows, he offered you some as you finished the whole bag of strawberry filled jelly marshmallows. Darkness was about to envelope the sky after the hues of orange, red and gold strikes of the sunset was gone in a matter of minutes. The host was announcing that the firework show will be starting in thirty minutes.

You were still unable to find Yoshida, you were starting to doubt he'd ever come.

You sat down waiting for Denji as he was buying yakisoba and hot green tea.

You removed your sandals, glancing back down to your phone he hasn't even called you today.

"I'm back." Denji hands you the warm yakisoba and a hot bottled green tea. You thanked him as you ate for the millionth time today.

Fifteen second before the firework begin your phone started to ring, you excused yourself.

You picked up the call it was Yoshida, you started to feel as if you were in the clouds.

"Yoshida, where are you?" You asked but he answered with a flat voice.

"Meet me at the parking lot, don't bring anyone with you." The phone call dropped, you look back to Denji he was busy eating his fifth cotton candy. You swear he eats so much you wonder if he ever gets full.

You walked towards the parking lot, there you saw Yoshida's back facing you there wasn't much cars parked around the area but it had the best view seeing the festival from up here the lights and people crowding around you had no idea it was much better to look from here.

Yoshida turns to you but he had blood stains on his clothes.

"I missed you, three days without you feels more than a torture." He opens his arms for you to take but you couldn't move to your spot.

"Y-Yoshida... You're clothes are-." You shakily pointed at him.

He looks down as if it was a normal thing, then you remembered what the koi devil said.

"That boy you like, is just like you made a deal with a devil."

You covered your lips, you started to shake like a leaf.

"This isn't mine, but you know what I want to hear from you instead?" He chuckles, pushing his hair back before he turns his gaze back on you.

"It's from Mina, that psycho freak thinks she owns the whole world in her hand, I saw everything even that time she killed you, yeah, I exposed her and her precious family now their on the brink of death. I like it, even when she begged me to save her, I killed the same way she tried to kill, I wanted to torture her more but I can't let my baby wait for me much longer no?" He started to move closer but you didn't backed away.

"Next was her friends." He pulls out a knife from his pocket, swirling it with his index finger.

"I. haunt. each. and. every. one. of. her sluts." He giggled.

"You didn't know but she slept with all of her friends, she's the nasty little whore here not you, you are my precious angel what you do to me makes me crave you more and more everyday it just gets stronger. Next was our homeroom teacher, yeah, you had no idea but she had slept with Mina's father little bitch thinks she can change her life by becoming the new wife guess what per request she must not show concern that day she was there in the hospital when you had your exam I was the one who threatened her after that she begged like never before." He wipes off the blood from the knife with his sleeve.

"I killed her, nice and clean then dumped her body beside Mina's precious father, he dead too because he dares hurt my baby that's unforgiveable to me."

Just the the first firework explodes in the air, the red color shone you see it clearer that he was covered from head to toe and he look like a maniac.

"Lastly was Himari, I fed her to my devil. I knew you have one too it makes me happy that this way we won't be too strangers with one another. I know that koi symbol you have." He points with his index finger as you backed away.

Moving and moving as he only comes closer and you can't help it, you can't move it almost feels like something holding you down.

As a large stone wall met your back Yoshida was quick to block your side trying to escape him.

"I'll always keep my promise, you're mine after all." He uses the knife to cute your front he tugs down on your left sleeve to reveal the symbol.

"We're powerful that they'll ever know."

94 notes View Post

xiaotopia

2 years ago

Zhongli x Fallen God! Reader

Zhongli imagine (inspired by Akura-Ou from Kamisama Kiss)

Enemies to Lovers

CW: Mentions of violence, character death, one graphic description of how reader wants to kill Morax.

So imagine that you were a god during the time of the archon war. More specifically, the God of Calamity who feeds off of chaos and negative emotions of humans to increase their power. You face off against Morax, your sworn enemy, and find yourself pinned to the ground with a spear in your chest. As your body fades to dust, you curse Morax, swearing that you will one day return to exact your revenge.

Centuries pass, and you find yourself trapped in an empty void. You can neither see or feel anything, only absolute darkness with your thoughts as company. You beg Celestia to put an end to your suffering, to cease to exist, if only to escape this eternal abyss. However, your desperate pleas seemed to be answered with the appearance of a human soul.

A human who had passed in an unfortunate accident, close to where you had been slain. The human seems lighthearted as they speak with you, telling you of how silly they felt to have died from such a simple mistake. You scoff at the fact that this human thinks they can speak to you so casually, and yet, you relish in the fact that you are no longer alone. This is the first voice, other than your own, that you had heard in a millennia.

The human tells you how it’s about time that they move on to the next plane of existence, but they still have one regret. In fear of being alone again, you attempt to keep the human in this space longer, asking them to divulge their woes. The human tells you that their only regret is that they’ll be leaving their poor mother all alone. Their mother would have no one else to rely on nor anyone to keep her company.

In a moment of weakness, you admit to the human that you understand their fear of loneliness. You tell the human how you’ve been trapped in this place for so long. The human pities you, knowing that once they leave, you will be alone once more. The human was then struck with an idea and offered their body to you.

“Oh! I know! How about I let you use my body? You could take my place and keep my mom company! It’s a win-win, right?”

You couldn’t believe this human’s foolish proposal. This human knew nothing of your title as God of Calamity. Knew nothing of your history of bringing destruction to the humans of the ancient past. You wanted to exploit this human’s naivety.

“I suppose you’re correct. I will take up your generous offer.”

“Okay! Let’s make a contract then! You can use my body, but you have to promise me that you’ll take good care of my mom and keep her safe!”

Ah, so this human was not as trusting as you thought. Truly a follower of the God of Contracts. The thought of your assailant made your blood boil, but you composed yourself as you knew that this was the only way of escape.

“Very well. I will agree to those terms.”

“Nice! Wait, but if I’m gone, how will I know for sure that you’ll uphold our contract?”

You sigh and tell the human that when a contract is made with a god, a sigil of geo will appear on their body. This mark ensures that the god will not break their contract, less they suffer the judgement of Morax. Something you knew all too well. Once the contract is made, a golden symbol of geo appears on your chest, directly over your heart. You grimace at it while the human grins.

They thank you as they waved you off and fade into the afterlife. You, too, feel your body begin to flow into the vessel. When you open your eyes, you are greeted with a bright light and a blurry face of a woman. Her eyes are full of tears as she envelopes you in a hug, whispering about how worried she was. You find yourself tightly wrapping your arms around her torso, clinging to her in fear that this will all have been a dream and you will wake up in the void once more. Your eyes water as you relish in the warmth surrounding you.

Never again will you return to the darkness.

You take it upon yourself to assimilate with the humans, continuing to live as the human whose body you inhabit. However, in secret, you plan to enact your revenge on the god that killed you, whom you find out to be one of the seven archons. You try different methods to return your power to what it once was, but to no success.

All the while, you abide by the promise to the human and takes good care of their mother. You even sacrifice an opportunity to regain your power as it would’ve endanger their mother.

Your desire for revenge starts to waver upon hearing of the assassination of Rex Lapis. “Some bastard beat me to it!” You think, clenching your fists in rage. But now that Morax has been done away with, you wonder what you’ll do now. Your whole purpose for taking this human body was to get vengeance, so what now?

You remember your promise to the human and your growing fondness of their mother. You decide to put aside your pride as a deity and devote your life to continuing to be their child.

When Osial attacks the Harbour, your first instinct is to protect your mother at all costs. While all the other humans and milileth were fleeing from the water mimics, you used your ancient powers to fight them off. You absorbed the negative emotions from the humans running in terror and converted it into energy for you.

Your flames consumed the attacking mimics, evaporating them into nothing but steam. Once the battle was over, you immediately rushed to find your mother who you had taken far away from the Harbour before Osial had even been released. In your haste, you passed by a stranger whose golden eyes stared at you intently.

There was something familiar about this human, but you didn’t care to further ponder, too focused on making sure your mother was safe.

When everything subsided, you went back to your usual routine living amongst the mortals. You worked for the adventurer’s guild, doing commissions and picking up side jobs to provide for your mother. You ran errands and spent a lot of time with your human mother and you were content.

It wasn’t until you were confronted by a certain funeral consultant that your peaceful mortal life would be disturbed.

On your day off, you decided to have dinner by yourself at Third-Round Knockout as your mother was far too tired to leave the house and urged you to enjoy the nightlife rather than stay home all the time. You enjoyed the food while listening to the storyteller when a stranger took the seat across from you.

“What have you done with the human whose body you’ve stolen? Did you kill them?”

Once again, you saw the same human that you saw during Osial’s attack.

“Huh? What are you talking about, sir? Are you perhaps drunk—“

“Do not try to deceive me. I’ve had my eye on you for some time, but your actions during Osial’s attack confirmed that you are not as you seem.”

You narrow your eyes, trying to read on the man, but having no such luck.

“Certainly you don’t mean when I stopped those water mimics from attacking the other citizens of Liyue? All I did was defend my home from invaders.”

The stranger’s face was stone cold as he leaned closer and spoke in a harsh tone, “I mean when you absorbed the negative emotions from the fleeing humans,”

You tensed up, a sense of dread pooling in your stomach.

“There’s only one pathetic being that comes to mind who feeds from absolute discord. Although, I could have sworn that they had died by my spear. Isn’t that right, God of Calamity?”

So many emotions ran through your head until it settled on a burning, all-consuming rage. A crazed grin appeared on your face as you failed to hold back your cynical laughter.

“Morax…so you’re alive? And here I thought I missed my chance to kill you myself. And yet, here you are, delivering yourself to me. Oh how I can’t wait to tear you limb from limb and display your severed head from the gates of Liyue Harbour.”

“As if you could ever put a scratch on me. I will simply just have to pierce my spear through that twisted heart of yours, if you even have one.”

Your hand twitched to summon your blade as you had a stand off with the ex archon.

“Y/n? Is everything alright, dear?“

All malice disappeared from your face as your eyes widened and your head whipped around to look at your worried mother.

“M-Mother! What are you doing out this late?? It’s dangerous for you to be walking the streets all by yourself!”

“I was worried when you didn’t come home when you said you would. I thought you drank too much again and came to get you.”

Your mother’s eyes landed on the funeral consultant, a smile making its way onto her lips.

“Oh! I see now! You’ve made a friend, Y/n! I’m so glad for you! Don’t mind me then, I’ll just go back home.”

You glanced back at the geo archon, clicking your tongue before pulling out a satchel and slapping some mora out on the table.

“Hold on, mother. I’ll walk you back home.”

“No, no. Don’t let me get in the way of you spending time with your new friend!”

“It’s alright. We were just about to part ways anyway.”