Latest Posts by xiaotopia - Page 2

The next best thing.

✿ Remember to read part one first! 

❀ Prologue/summary: Desperate to get away from your memory of Scaramouche, you left in search of a new beginning. Can you really escape your past with him as easily as it is ideal?

❀ Pairing(s): Harbinger! Scaramouche x gn! reader

❀ Themes/warnings: Spoilers for Scaramouche’s backstory/main archon quest, mentions of violence, Angst.

❀ Doll’s note: Ahh hello! ( ･∀･)/ Sorry for the wait, but I’m really excited to finally present what I’ve been working on! Some of your replies gave me a good chuckle, they’re really motivating! But seriously, thank you<3

❀ word count: 2.2k

✿ masterlist (not yet posted) ✿ requested by: N/A, original concept 

It’s been around a week since your last encounter with Scaramouche. 

The plentiful amount of time to yourself has allowed you to reflect on all the poor decisions that led you to your current position. Love has truly made you lose sight of who you were and blinded you from your original motives. It was something that you, out of all people, could never have imagined falling victim to.

The passing fields you’re walking through were finally losing their familiarity, as the only thing pushing you to keep on moving is the wish to be somewhere far from a place that reminded you of your shared memories with him. Over time it has been cultivating many mixed emotions, which, although intense, you couldn’t quite identify as good or bad ones. All of it together was becoming incredibly frustrating because feeling so much emotion has always been foreign to you.

Despite your pitiful situation, the archons seemed to do their damn best to send even more troubles your way. You were just oh-so-lucky enough to receive your very own version of typical winter Inazuma weather on your way out, which was somehow even more unforgiving than usual. 

Perhaps as a means to cope with your pain, you were slowly starting to grow numb to hurting. You quickly went from mourning over your loss to seeing red all around you. Every misfortune you experienced throughout your travels was his fault to begin with, it only made sense that the grief gradually seeped in as anger. It was all too overbearing, your sanity was merely hanging on by a thread.

“Mercy… please.. archons… save me….”

It only enraged you further to watch the treasure hoarder before you to plead for mercy after witnessing the brutal deaths of their comrades. He was just like you to Scaramouche, a pathetic resemblance of someone who thought they were special enough to be granted an exception. 

When the glowing ashes of his corpse dissipated away, silence took over in your returning solitude. You thought your mind would finally be relieved of this frustration, for you to be finally feeling something else, anything else after murdering those pitiful people. 

Why has it done absolutely nothing? 

“I thought I heard people yelling here but I don’t seem to see anyone else, are you alright miss?” A male voice spoke out from behind you. 

The man introduced himself as Tighnari, an Avidya Forest Watcher who was in the middle of a research report on the nearby area. The sudden realization that you’ve already made it to Sumeru makes you wonder how you even lasted so long without resting.

“It’s our responsibility to aid travelers in need.” 

He smiled gently as he offered you a hand. You eyed his tall animal ears with a moment’s curiosity before getting up yourself, dusting off your clothes from the debris of your short-lived battle. 

It took quite a bit of unwanted conversation to cover up your deeds, you didn’t want to stir up additional commotion to the situation at hand. Yes, treasure hoarders weren’t the best kind of people but that alone was no justification for being the subject of your wrath.

“I was.. just looking for something to eat.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie, it’s been about three days since the time you last ate. Even so, that instance could barely even be referred to as a proper meal because berries aren’t considered the most satiating. 

Tighnari took pity upon your weak appearance and offered to take you back to Gandharva Ville with him. Despite the fact that you didn’t want to follow him at first, you can only ignore your looming exhaustion so many times until your body eventually gives out. You might be tough, but still human nonetheless. With the help of his assistant, he provided you with medical supplies and dinner, which you hesitantly accepted. 

The next two months went by rather slowly. You have begun to live amongst the rest of the people in Gandharva Ville along with Tighnari and Collei, as a forest ranger yourself. It wasn’t a job that made the most out of your vision potential, but you had nothing to use them for anyway. Your past with the Fatui and Scaramouche has been less insistent on plaguing your mind once you settled down in a new environment, it was a pleasant change of pace. Your heart was gathering up its pieces, yet the emptiness you’ve felt before has made its way back into your daily routine. This peaceful way of living would always be infinitely better than the mental torment that he would have put you through.

Anything would be better than that, right?

It wasn’t until you heard his name again, that you have managed to keep your emotions at bay. 

The sages from the Akademiya have come to attempt to convince Tighnari to return to Sumeru city. The prestigious institution took notice of his exceptional intellect and thought of his current position as a waste of his talents as a scholar. It just seemed like a minor inconvenience at first, so you decided to tend to your assigned duties a little earlier.

Just as you were returning to deliver your updated report to Tighnari, the sages were on their way out. You were just about to dismiss their presence when you overheard a familiar name.

“Dr. Dottore needs us to go later tonight, to help with their project with the Balladeer.”

“His name was Scaramouche, right?”

Your report scattered all across the forest path, your trembling fingers unable to hold on to their delicate pages at what you just heard. You could feel your chest begin to heave rapidly as your mind became a jumbled mess. Everything to do with this man should have been behind you, never to reappear in your thoughts again, so why now?

Why?

Why, why, WHY?

You had to find out for what wretched reason the Akademiya was included in a scheme associating with such a painful part of your memory, so you abandoned your original plans to follow them back into the city.

It turns out that the sages have been working together with Dottore in the late stages of developing Scaramouche’s artificial god form. You didn’t know what your plan was before, but it was never your goal to come this close to actually encountering him.

…

You stepped into the forest cavern, right before where he is held from the information you collected. Do you really want to see him again? Why are you even here?

In spite of the voices in your head, his face etched itself into your mind. You were brimming with emotions, your weakness for the man never left you after all. 

There wasn’t much logic left behind your thoughts, the only force driving your actions being an unreasonable craving. You revealed the hidden entrance by copying the procedure you witnessed Dotorre perform earlier, taking a final deep breath before crossing the threshold. 

Your steps echoed throughout the large chambers of the Joururi Workshop, examining the large pieces of what you assumed were unfinished equipment in their creation of this “artificial god”. The Fatui really does work quickly, you’d at least have to give them credit for their efficiency.

“(y/n)?”

Your heart stopped the moment you heard your name, but not because of how it belonged to you.

“What are you doing here?”

You turned to face the black-haired harbinger, the one that you only ever allowed yourself to remember in your dreams. 

He looked just as gorgeous as before. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash, the sound of thunder hitting the spot where you once were before your reflexes barely preserved your life.

“What a coward you are, showing up before I can even finish my project.”

You hid behind a pile of various mechanical materials, trying to process the fact that Scaramouche was now trying to kill you. It shouldn’t be the most surprising because of how you acted during your last meeting. 

“I guess I should finally pay you back for being so disrespectful, hmm?”

Scaramouche’s laugh was dripping with poison, making your reality now clear.

You were just so sick of it all, you were never going to find peace with the presence of this awful man’s existence in Teyvat. Your suppressed feelings after so long, resurfaced as the same bloodlust you felt the day you met those poor treasure hoarders. 

“I have been dying to see you, Scara.”

You approached him with a smile, the rest of the confrontation was merely a blur.

…

The sword that was given to you on the same day you joined the Fatui, was now pierced through your former superior’s chest. His eyes widened, unsure of how he had ended up being on the losing end of this exchange. After all, he never paid any attention to your abilities, if only he was as observant of you as you were of him back then. You knew of his every blind spot, every little weakness that bought you just an adequate amount of time to pin him right where you wanted him. 

It was an extensive fight where you applied all those years of experience by his side, performing the final accumulation of your feelings as a rendezvous of death. 

I have always been watching you.

You dug your blade further in, causing his legs to give out and collapse to the ground. It was far from what would kill him instantaneously due to his lack of a real heart, but enough to sufficiently incapacitate him.

I have always longed for you.

You kneeled next to him, watching his surprise twisting into rage. Shadows from his hair cast over his face as he gritted his teeth.

But I can’t have you.

“I was so close…”

So I’ll choose the next best thing.

His frame shook when his devastated eyes stared into yours.

“I WAS SO CLOSE DAMNIT, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN IT?”

He was lashing out at you now, upon the realization that his premature death would ultimately rip him away from what was about to be his godhood. He screamed hateful, terrible, words at you. Yet, you still pitied his helpless state.

He has never been kind to you, barely even grateful for anything you’ve ever managed to accomplish for him.. Yet there were moments when he appeared so lonely. He was like a lost soul craving for something beyond what he felt was even possible, hence his want to reshape a new world.

Tears were streaming down his face, his crying voice now barely above a whisper due to the spreading fatigue. You could tell he no longer had the energy to be angry, and gently held his hand in yours. He wept quietly on the floor, relishing in your comfort within his vulnerable state. 

You were aware of the three betrayals that shaped Scaramouche into the bitter person he was. He suffered being the abandoned subject of his creator, being viewed as if his existence as a monstrosity by the only friend he’s ever made, and the loss of a child he’s come to care for after making unkept promises to one another. You didn’t want him to have nobody in his final moments, despite his flawed pessimism, and no matter how bad he used to treat you.

You both savored the stillness of the Joururi workshop’s solitude, that is until he was the one to break the silence, much to your surprise.

“..Why do you think my creator has yet to get rid of me, to allow me to wander as far out of her grasp as to even become a harbinger?” 

He was now reflecting in deep thought, the focus of his gaze on the intricate ceiling of the domain. It’s like he read your mind.

“…My former friend might have been right, for me to have soon become someone who hurt the lives of so many.”

You didn’t expect him to ever find forgiveness, for him to finally realize that there is more to living creatures than just misery. The hopeful glint in his eyes vastly differed from the characteristics you’ve come to know rather well. 

“…I suppose the boy’s mortality wasn’t necessarily his fault, it was cruel of me to shift the blame for my loss on him.”

He finished his declaration with a small sad chuckle, a genuine one. 

“…hey.. (y/n).”

He called out to you, asking why you continue to remain by his side after his continuous exploitation of your feelings. 

You explained to him that you cannot pick and choose what you feel. Why  people care so much about seemingly unreasonable emotions was something you couldn’t comprehend either. 

This was something only he has been able to have taught you for the first time in your life, but you kept that last part to yourself. His cold fingers gave yours a light squeeze, and your chest tightened at his melancholic expression.

“For my new understanding, I’m eternally grateful to you.”

His chest rose and fell slowly, his trembling gradually coming to a halt.Turns out your efforts have brought him peace, one that he was unable to achieve on his own.

“……Maybe things would be different for us if I was born human too.”

With those words, he used the last of his strength. You felt his hand loosen its grip on yours, as he succumbed to his rest. You’ve helped him move on from his past and achieve his true goal, to see a world that wasn’t just filled with deceit and lies. What a truly bittersweet way for your first love to come to an end.

..But what was in it for me?

A sob escaped your throat as you cradled his unconscious form, hushed cries escalating into painful wails that resounded in the large room. 

You refused to leave his side for hours after, you weren’t ready to part with him just yet. Your reunion was so brief after all.

…

Small taps of footsteps were heard behind you as you came face-to-face with a little, white-haired girl.

“(y/n), right?”

@ 𝘥𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘳 | please credit if reposted! ♡

✿ Taglist: @smdroplvr @niasyndrome @shotgunsona @bananapowersrangers @ki–mi​

The Age of Our Youth

Aki x Fem reader

Summary: Some loves are meant to be forgotten, but others are meant to follow you a lifetime.

A/n: I'm honestly so nervous about this 😭, I feel like this chapter is bland, but I hope y'all stick around enjoy this short series.

Genre: Romance. Angst. Modern Au.

Warnings: None really for this chapter

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Masterlist | Wc: 7.2k

With your heart thumping against your ribs, you stare at the droplets of water sliding down the expanse of the window of the restaurant you're seated in, pen tapping lightly against the white surface of the table. You can feel the strings of your heart being tugged at, sweat forming in the palms of your hand, and your heart feeling as if it’s going to climb up your chest and spill on the table. Nothing you can think of to calm your nerves, not even the tea in front of you seems to have helped, and the nauseating feeling only grows whenever a small ‘ding’ of the door opens and closes.

You refuse to look up scared that you’ll meet the blue eyes that once you used to take your breath away. The same blues that you had looked up to as if they held the universe in them. You knew better now; years of empty ice cream containers, sleepless nights, and countless heartaches had taught you that no man truly holds the totality of the world. You were truly starting to regret agreeing to this get-together Denji had set up with the entirety of your friend group. Checking the face of your wristwatch, you notice that they’re all late.

“Sorry I’m late, looks like we’re the first ones here,” the sound of his voice sends a shiver up your spine. The air no longer seems able to travel into your lungs. Aki's voice had grown deeper. Deep and melodic. “It’s nice to see you again, y/n.”

Breathing in deeply through your nose, you look up from between your lashes, avoiding his eyes, and give him a tight-lipped smile, “It’s nice to see you too, Aki.” You pause for a second, taking in the full sight of him while he stands at the edge of your table. His hair is longer now, sill pulled back from his face with a few loose strands falling into his eyes. The dark bags from long night shifts no longer decorate the bottoms of them. He holds himself up with the same confidence, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather jacket, something new you notice. You wonder if he dresses like this all the time now. “How have you been?” You ask, shaking your head and lifting the empty cup of tea to your lips.

Aki pulls the chair out in front of you, sliding into the seat smoothly, raising his hand to call over the waiter, “I’ve been fine. What about you? How have you been?”  

“I’ve been better,” you reply, setting the up-down, eyes focused on the remains on the bottom. Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you think back to the recent Facebook update you had seen on his profile thanks to your mother, your heart aching a bit when you bring it up. “Congrats on the engagement by the way,” you clear your throat, feeling the need to clarify your reason for knowing about it when you and he are no longer Facebook friends, “My mom told me about it.” 

Aki nods his head, lips formed into a thin line, “Thanks.” 

You pretend not to notice the long sigh he takes afterward or the way he fiddles with his fingers. You certainly don’t notice the way his eyebrows furrow in what seems to be frustration at the mention of his engagement. you put the pen you had been fiddling with back into your purse along with the notes you had been taking.

The air is filled with tension, each of you refusing to look at each other directly. How long had it been since the two of you had been in the same room? Five years? Three Years? The last time you remember seeing him was at Denji’s Christmas party a few years ago, but you hadn’t talked to him. Instead, you had avoided him the entire time you were there, mostly because you didn’t want him to introduce you to the girl that was hanging off his arm, the same girl he was now marrying. 

“I saw your brother the other day,” Aki interrupts the awkward silence.

“Oh? What did he say?” 

“Mmh, not much, he just told me that your parents are selling their house.” 

You're now facing each other, eyes meeting for a second before yours drift down to the cup in your hands, “Y-yeah. It was random too…it’s been on the market for a few weeks.” 

He nods again, the awkwardness settling again, you almost want to cry when the waitress finally shows up to take Aki’s drink order, filling the quiet. You stare out the window, watching as cars pull in and out, waiting for Denji’s blue mustang to pull into the parking lot. You glance at Aki, who stares at the bottles of liquor on the shelves behind the bar. You notice that his hair is now a bit longer, a few loose strands curling around his ears. Ears that now have new piercings, the jewelry reflecting the light above you. Your hand instinctively travels to the small flower-shaped in the inner part of your ear, the one that matches his. 

“I think they're here,” Aki’s voice draws your attention back to the parking lot, a dark blue mustang with neon lights flashing under pulling up.

“Finally,” you whisper under your breath, watching as both Denji and Power walk towards the front, both laughing and pushing each other along the way. You can feel some of your rigidity loosen at the sight of them, your shoulders relaxing finally. The door dings when they walk through their loud voices bouncing off the walls. A handful of people turn around and look at them. “Oh my god,” you whisper, sinking into your seat, trying to act as if you don’t know them even though they're being led straight to your table. 

“Aki! Y/n! You’re already here!” Power greets you both.

Shooting the hostess an apologetic smile you nod your head and make room for Power next to you, “You two are late.”

“Sorry, we got pulled over,” Denji answers, knitting his fingers together in front of him, “I got a ticket for speeding.”

Power laughs next to you, leaning onto the table, her chin resting on the back of her hand, “Can you believe this dumbass thought he wouldn’t get stopped when he sped up after clearly seeing a cop parked.”

Across from you, Denji pouts, rubbing his hand over his eyes, “Whatever,” he mumbles. Turning the attention away from himself, he looks at you, a friendly smile spread across his face, “Haven’t seen you in a while, y/n. How have you been?”

Returning to his smile you try to ignore how the whole table turns to look at you, “I’ve been busy, but okay. What about you? How’s the wedding planning? Last time I saw you or Reze was when we met up after we went dress shopping.”

“She’s doing fine. We just need to find a venue, which someone had to beat us to the only decent venue in town,” He answers, jamming his elbow into Aki’s arm playfully.

Ignoring Denji’s comment, he opens the menu that’s placed in front of him, his thumb and forefinger rubbing together separated by the piece of plastic, a habit you remember him doing during all your dates. You catch yourself watching him do it, a small smile starting to curl on the corner of your lips, but you shake your head and turn back to Denji.

“Can’t you just look for a different place? There are some nice venues outside of town,” you tell him, opening your menu on the table, barely glancing at it while your fingers dance along the surface of it.

Denji shakes his head, hair falling into his eyes, “Reze wants to have the reception in that place. It’s apparently where everyone in her family has gotten married.”

“Who hasn’t gotten married in that place,” Power adds sarcastically to the conversation, laughter erupting from you.

“Try telling her that,” Denji laughs.

You feel warmth spread across your chest as you laugh with them, your head feeling like it's floating up. It feels as if you’ve traveled back in time, the jokes that get tossed back and forth between the three of you, Aki giving the three of you annoyed looks, looking up occasionally up at the ceiling as if that would get the other two to be less quiet. All the awkwardness is replaced by nostalgia.

A homesick feeling settled in the bottom of your stomach, that spread up to the back of your throat, for a time when things were much easier. When you didn’t have the gaping hole in your chest with adulthood. Before you longed for success, happiness, love…for something to make you feel fulfilled. You yearned for the carefreeness that came with the early days of your youth.

~

August 2012

The sun burns the skin of your shoulders and nose while you look up at the sky, sweat coats your forehead and travels down your back, and the tank top you're wearing changes to a dark shade and does very little to cool you down. Even the water your feet are soaking in does very little to cool down the burning feeling. You can hear the chirping of the cicadas that sing along the riverbank, the sound causing you to feel irritated combined with the heat. You’re already doing your best to ignore the way the wood beneath you is hot and uncomfortable to be sitting on.

A few feet away from where you sit you can see the two idiots who are the cause of your dilemma. The reason why you're out in the scorching heat instead of sitting in front of the ac. Denji and Power splash water at each other, their laughter and howling can be heard from several blocks down, but no one is out in the streets to complain. Only people who were out of their minds would be out in this heat. And apparently, you were one of those people having let them drag you out of your room with the disguise of studying at the library for the first test of the semester, only to end up at the small riverbank of the town.

“You know if you get in the water you’ll feel much better!” Power swims up to you, pushing herself up on the small wooden dock you're sitting on.

You scrunch your nose at her, watching as droplets of water travel down the skin that her two-piece swimsuit doesn’t cover, “No, thank you.” 

“Come on,” she begs, twisting her hair causing water to hit your thigh, “it’s not even that deep.” You shake your head again, laying down on the wood a loud hiss leaving your lips when your skin makes contact with the wood. Power scowls next to you when you don’t give in to her, pushing herself up and reaching for the oversized shirt she had worn to come here, “Fine, then we’re going home.” 

“Power,” you say her name sternly, knowing that she’s about to throw a fit at you without getting in the water with them, “ you know I can’t swim.”

She doesn’t look at you, choosing to slip into her sandals, “It’s whatever. Denji, let's go!” Power glances at you, her lips pressed into a line, “You hungry?”

You sigh, already knowing that if you don’t give in a little she’ll most likely be angry with you the rest of the week, “Yeah.” You stand, dusting yourself off, “want to go to that small restaurant by campus?” you ask, already knowing her answer since it was one of her favorite places to eat.

Her mood seems to change towards you when you offer to go there, a smile spreading on her face almost instantaneously. She hoops her arm through yours, resting her chin on your shoulder to look at you, “That sounds perfect actually.” Glancing over her she calls out to Denji again, scaring him and almost causing him to fall back into the water, “Denji, hurry up! I’m hungry!”

Hooking her arm through yours, Power leads you back to the small apartment the three of you were currently able to share, a courtesy of your absent father trying to crawl his way back into your life ever since his now ex-girlfriend had left him. It was a decent-sized apartment with two bedrooms, a small balcony, and its living areas, big enough for three fresh out of high-school students. It was located a few blocks from the campus, surrounded by small boutiques and restaurants. To think that your father had put this much thought into choosing the apartment was unreal and you refused to believe that the man who hadn't talked to you since you were twelve had put in the effort.

It doesn't take you long to enter the neighborhood, the three of you avoiding the sun by staying under the large umbrellas many of the shops had hung outside their establishments. Power drags you and Denji down the sidewalk, in a hurry to change and head to the small restaurant.

You can feel your bones aching with every step you take, the heat of the sun heating the sidewalk which then seeps in through the soles of the sandals you wear. Looking behind you, Denji is shirtless, sweat dripping down his temples and his face a bright red, you're not doing any better with your shirt clinging to your body, yet somehow Power seems unaffected by the smoldering sun. Her hair isn’t stuck to her back or forehead and there are no signs of moisture on any part of her body as she skips ahead. You almost want to strangle her for it too.

Reaching the front of the building, you and Denji let out sighs of relief, quickly followed by groans when you both remember that the elevator is out of service, watching Power take two steps at a time. By the time you reach the coolness of the apartment, you don’t want to go back out into the heat, your brain is thinking of ways to delay the trip to the restaurant till after the sun goes down. Meowy greets the three of you along with the sound of the AC when you open the door.

“I think I’m dead,” Denji moans, letting his body collapse in front of the wall ac, face pressed against the cool boards of the floor. 

You follow him, landing on his back, laughing a little when he groans, and then rolling over onto yours, “Me too.” The room falls silent while you both listen to the water of the bathroom start to run, and the soft sound of the ac motor. You can hear Power moving around in washing the remnants of the river water, and you let yourself relax under the sounds of the quiet house, staring up at the dancing shadows of the house plants you keep. Turning your head you find Denji with his eyes closed, breathing softly through his nose. You know he isn’t asleep, the lack of snoring is a clear sign, so you move closer to him, letting your head rest on his elbow, “You know, I think we should get her a pet to keep her busy, I don’t think the cat is enough.”

The comment immediately makes the two of you burst, tears streaming from the corners of your eyes, and the tiredness of the walk disappearing.  

Power walks back into the living room, the cat wrapped in her arms, “What’s so funny?” 

You shake your head sitting upright, smiling up at her while she makes her way to the kitchen for some water, “Nothing. I’m going to shower real quick and then we can go.” 

“Okay,” both respond in unison, Power making her way to the pantry for cat food and Denji dropping his head back on the floor. 

You make your way to your shared room with Power, sun pouring in from the large window in front of your bed, drawing attention to the large mess of clothes spread out across the floor. “Power! Please get your clothes off the floor before we leave!” You call over your shoulder, knowing that you’ll probably end up cleaning up the mess when you get back. Pushing aside some of the mess, you make a path to the closet that still has most of your clothes in it, pulling out a satin top and a pair of pants, expecting the evening to be cooler than the day.

You make your way to the bathroom, which is a few feet on the opposite wall from Denji’s, you and Power dictating that if anyone should break in he should be the first to go instead of the two of you when you first moved in, and check the clock on your phone. 

Two O’clock in the afternoon. There were still six hours to kill till the sun started to go down, and you could take an hour in the bathing which would leave you with five. But of course, you would want to eat before eight so really you had four, you could probably convince Denji to also take an hour-long shower, so really you had three. 

Three hours to find something to distract Power. You were going to have a long afternoon.

~

It’s still early in the afternoon when Aki finds himself standing outside in the blistering heat of the summer under an umbrella that did very little to help keep him cool. His white dress shirt was sticking to his back and he had sweat stains on his underarms. The ice-cream cone that he was holding was melting, making his hand sticky, only making him more irritated. He wants to go home, back to enjoying what was supposed to be his day off, his eyes traveling to the small air-conditioned convenience store at the end of the block.

“Are you listening to anything I’m saying?” Himeno asks next to him, paying for the ice cream she had bought from the vendor.

“Yeah. I am,” he responds, licking the bottom of his cone where the ice cream is pouring over the edges.

Himeno leads them away from the shade, towards a small bench that is seated under a small tree that does not protect them from the sun. “Okay, then what was I saying?” 

“You were telling me that the suspect we’re after usually hangs around this place and that you wanted to go out for drinks.”

Himeno sighs, crossing her legs, “I hate how you do that.”

The space between them fell quiet, both slowly eating while watching as people walked in and out of the buildings of the small neighborhood, neither of them in a particularly talkative mood with how suffocating the hot air felt. Aki isn’t sure how much time passes, the curves of the sun just starting to hit the line of the horizon; the sky is painted in a bright orange and grayish blue, and the air around them finally starting to feel cooler. His shirt is still clinging to his body, and his head felt like it was being repeatedly hit. He is tired of waiting and counting down the minutes before he can go home, but when Himeno suddenly stands, he follows her lead and comes up to his feet.

“That’s our guy, the one in the red,” she points to a man in his late twenties coming out of the convenience store across from them. He’s wearing a faded red shirt and blue cap, head hanging down. Himeno throws the stick to her popsicle and starts to cross the street, “Come on, we don’t want to lose him.”

They both cross the street, keeping a few yards between them and the man they’re following. There aren't many people on the street, so it’s difficult to make it seem like they are pursuing him, even with the distance between them it’s very evident that they are. Himeno takes her left hand out of her pocket, sticking her thumb out towards the street on the other side, telling Aki to switch sides.

Aki nods his head before crossing over, reaching over his head to tighten his hair. He keeps his eyes on the blue cap of the man, the crowd around them slowly growing as they approach a busy side of town, walking side by side with Himeno who remains on the other side. He can see the man looking over his shoulder towards Himeno, his hand turning to all sides looking for an escape. Aki starts to walk faster, soon walking a few paces ahead of his superior, ready to run if he needs to.

From the back of his peripheral vision Aki sees Himeno take and light a cigarette, her eyes always on the man in front of her. She takes a step off the sidewalk before it even happens, letting Aki know that he should start to start to run, the man sprinting across the road right after she does. His blue cap falls off his head when a car almost hits him, but it doesn’t stop him from running to Aki’s side. 

Aki’s sure the man didn’t expect two people to be following, because he can see the way his shoulders relax when he looks over his shoulder and sees that Himeno isn’t even following. The man’s pace slows down once the bottom of his feet touches the sidewalk, thinking that he’ll be able to blend into the crowd and lose his pursuer. A second later letting out a surprised yelp when Aki pushes him to the ground, his hand pushing his head into the cement and twisting one of his arms behind his back. 

“What the fuck!” 

Aki pushes his knee into the center of the man’s back, Himeno jogging up behind them. “Akio Sato you're under arrest accused of money laundering, the possession of drugs, and the trafficking of drugs along with several other misdemeanors. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you,” she recites, just as two cop cars pull up next to them.

Aki cuffs both arms of the man below him before forcibly pulling him up and handing him over until one of the officers walks up to him. Looking he feels some of the stress from his shoulder release when he sees Angel, a friend of his from the academy. “Damn, already caught your first criminal before me.” 

Smiling, he shoves Akio towards Angel, “Of course I did.” Aki feels his heart pounding in his chest, his head feeling light. He’s breathing heavily, adrenaline running through his veins still. He lets out a shaky laugh, head tilting back to look up at the sky, the sun burning his eyes.

Angel smiles at him, reaching up behind his head to tie his hair, “Well that’s great, I’m proud of you.” The back of the car is shut, the door automatically locking, “We should celebrate later,” Angel looks over the top of the car, his partner getting in, “Text me and we’ll make plans.”

“Sure. Bye, man.” Aki waves a quick goodbye. He resumes looking up at the clear sky, his heart still pounding in his chest.

Himeno walks up next to him, lighting a new cigarette, smoke coming out of the corner of her lips, “Now that we’re done here, how about we go out and eat something nice? There’s this nice little restaurant around here.” 

~

You somehow manage to delay your trip back out into the hot weather until the sun is just starting to fall below the skyline, painted in bright pinks and pastel purples, by offering to trim Denji’s hair and then forcing him to shower. The air feels much cooler now, small gusts of air blowing, the skirt of the dress you're wearing fluttering around your knees. There are more people out on the streets now that the sun has gone down, some are sitting on the benches outside of convenience stores and restaurants while others order from the food trucks that are parked on the edges of the sidewalks. Couples are walking, their hands intertwined and smiles spread across their faces, making it difficult for your trio to walk down the narrow walkway. 

Power and you walk with your arms hooked to each other, Denji walking right behind you in between your arms, walking in the inner part of the sidewalk, you walk closer to the building. You catch endings of conversation, Power nudging your side when someone says something juicy, all of you finishing the ending with your version of what the conversation could be about. Lips inches apart and foreheads less than an inch from touching. Both of you leaning towards each other, whispers and giggles reaching Denji. 

When you reach the small restaurant, the blue light from the fluorescent bulbs comes out through the window, lighting the small piece of sidewalk in front of it. There are only two other small groups of people inside spread out. The three of you walk in and head towards the rectangular window that takes up the center of the furthest wall from the entrance. Pen, who owns the place greets you, her salt and peppered hair pulled back out of her face into a tight bun. She greets the three of you with a wide smile like she does every time you come in, resting her elbows on the counter, “Hi guys, what can I get you?”

“I’ll have the same as usual,” Denji answers, already walking towards the usual spot you sit in near the back corner, a smiley face neon sign each face colored a different color, and four different colored chairs. 

You and Power lean over the counter, looking over the menu that’s taped onto it, though you both know you're going to order the same thing. Pen hums, her nails light beating against the surface. “We do this every time, and you girls always end up ordering the same thing,” She teases. 

“You’re right, I’ll have what I usually get, but I’ll have tea instead of strawberry soda,” you respond, pushing yourself off the counter to head to your table. You sit on the opposite side of Denji, leaning back against the wall and resting your heels on the edge. Looking at Denji, running your fingers along the surface of the table, “I haven’t seen Reze lately.”

Running his fingers through his hair, he looks up at you, “Uh, yeah…we sort of had a fight last Saturday, and I haven’t been able to get in touch with her.” 

“Oh. Well if you want to talk about it or need advice, Power and I are here for you. You know that right?”

Denji nods, “I do.”

“Good.”

Power joins you at the table, her fingers reaching for the hair band that’s around your wrist, “Pen said our food will be out in a few minutes. What are you two talking about?”

“Just talking about how Reze hasn’t been around much,” you answer, looking at Denji out of the corner of your eye.

Smiling teasingly, Power leans back in her chair, only two of the legs remain on the floor, “What did she get tired of you and dump you? I mean I get why she would.” 

From the corner of your eye, you see Denji’s jaw clench, and his knuckles turning white. You lightly kick one of Power’s chair legs, “Power stop. They just had a very bad fight, and she hasn’t gotten back to him. Let’s change the subject, and try to have fun.”

The door dings open, your attention snapping towards, and a woman with short hair steps in, a cigarette dangling from her lips. She’s dressed in a black suit with high heels, an eye patch covering her right eye. She’s followed by a younger man, dressed in a matching suit, the tie undone, and jacket thrown over his shoulder. He has long hair, that is pulled out of his face, and a stern look on his face that doesn’t match his young appearance. 

“He's kinda cute,” you mumble just loud enough for Power and Denji to hear you.

Power smiles, her manicured nail between her teeth, “Bet you can’t talk to him.”

You look at her, raising an eyebrow, “What? Are you serious?”

“Of course, it’s easy money for me.” She turns towards Denji, “You in?”

Denji looks up at the two of you, eyes crinkling a little on the edges as he smiles a little, “Sure.”

“Okay, what are we betting?” You take your feet over the edge of the chair onto the floor and lean closer to Power.

Leaning in towards you she smiles, “How about a month's worth of chores?”

Your nails tap on the table, “Okay, but it doesn’t include laundry.”

“Okay, but you have a fifteen-minute time limit.”

Extending your hand towards her, “Deal.”

“Deal,” Power takes your hand and you both shake.

Pen walks to your table with your food, placing it on the table along with your bill. “You guys enjoy,” she says before turning around and walking back to the counter to take the newcomers' orders.

The minutes pass and the two take a seat a few tables down from where you’re sitting, chatting quietly among themselves. Power keeps shoving her elbow into your side while you eat, she and Denji laugh every time you spit up your food when she does. Almost every person, in the restaurant, turns to look at the three of you, annoyed looks painted across their faces. Denji and Power have no problem ignoring the ugly looks, however, you on the other hand give apologetic smiles. 

“It’s been eight minutes,” Power whispers, “I knew you wouldn’t do it.”

You shove the last of your food into your mouth, “I’ll do it, just waiting for the right moment.”

“Sure.”

From the corner of your eye, you see the cute guy stand up and walk out the front door, the bell above it ringing when the door opens and closes. “Okay, I’ll be right back,” you stand and lean over Power’s shoulder to whisper “You two better keep your end of the bet,” before walking out of the restaurant.

The night has fully taken over, the moon fully visible in the dark sky along with the twinkling stars. It’s still early enough that a few people are still out on the streets, eating at food trucks and sitting along the sidewalk enjoying ice cream. The man you came chasing after is leaning against the arm of the bench that rests between the restaurant and the boutique next to it, his phone in his hands.

You clear your throat, and swing your body from side to side, looking around into the busy street, “It’s a nice night out.”

He looks up from his phone, eyeing the space around where you both stand to see if you're talking to him or someone else. When he sees that it’s only you and him he answers, a curt answer before returning to his phone, “Yeah I guess.”

You feel uncomfortable when it’s quiet again. A cool breeze flows through, lifting the bottom of your skirt an inch. You take in a deep breath just as it does, your nervousness calming a bit when you smell the fresh scent of freshly mowed grass mixed in with the aroma of the foods being cooked. You look at the man again, side-stepping towards him, and commenting again, “It’s much better than the hot night.” He looks up, his eyes making direct contact with yours. You want to turn away, your face burning, but the dark blue of his eyes draws you in. Swallowing the spit in the back of your throat you start to rock yourself again, “Don’t you think?

“Yeah, I guess.” He smiles when he sees how awkward you’re being as you sway on the heels of your feet.

You cover your face with your hands, “I’m so sorry, my friends and I made a bet, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“It’s fine. I got to meet and talk to you. Names Aki.”

You look at him, smiling a little, “It was nice meeting you, Aki.” 

Aki can feel the heat rising to his face and his heart skip a few beats when you say his name for the first time. He doesn’t understand the feeling that is swirling in his stomach, and why his hands are sweating so badly. He just met you, so why does the sight of your smile make his heart beat irregularly in his chest? Swallowing the spit in his mouth, he returns your smile, “It was nice meeting you too, y/n.” Aki’s eyes travel behind you, watching as your two friends step out of the restaurant, leftovers in their hands. He points behind you, “Your friends are out.”

You peer over your shoulder, “Oh, I guess they are. I should go. I’ll see you around.” Taking one step back you raise your hand giving him a small awkward good-bye wave. 

Aki watches you walk back to Power and Denji, his stomach still doing flips, and heart pounding. He watches you smile a big bright smile at Power, your arm hooking with hers, and the three of you start to walk away in the opposite direction. You look over your shoulder one last time, your cheek resting against Power’s shoulder, and give one last smile. He’s still looking in the direction you walked off in long after the three silhouettes disappear into the distance, the lights on the street buzzing, and he wonders if he’ll see you again soon. 

~

Present Day

As the afternoon turns to night, the table becomes louder and louder, Power and Denji telling you of mishaps that had happened to them while you were busy with your own life, and Aki's body seems to relax against the chair he’s in, speaking and laughing more than he did at the start of the night. The plates of food from your table had long since been removed, replaced by alcoholic drinks and dessert. The tension in your body releases the more you drink and laugh, time feeling as if it's barely moving. 

It’s not until a different waiter than the one who had first served comes up to your table with a check in hand, telling you that they're about to close that you realize how late it is. Looking around you see that the restaurant is empty excluding the employees.

“Oh, we’re so sorry,” you say, reaching into your bag and pulling out your card like the rest of the table. 

“Fuck, Reze is going to be pissed,” he stretches the last of his sentence, “I told you I’d only be gone an hour tops…it’s been like four.”

Power laughs at him, raising the straw from her drink to point at him, “And that is why I don’t date.”

“You don’t date because everyone who dates you finds you annoying,” Denji throws back, moving out of the way when she throws an ice cube at him. You and Aki laugh next to them, your eyes and mind dazed over by the alcohol.

“We should do this again soon. I missed hanging out with you guys. Even you Aki.” You blurt out, eyes on the two idiots, not noticing the way Aki gawks at you. 

It’s the first time since Power and Denji arrived that you acknowledge his presence, even though he’s sitting right across from you. And the fact that you finally did has the inside of his chest feeling a little warm, something that he hadn’t felt in a while. 

Aki answers in a quiet breath when the other two don’t hear you over their play fighting, “We should.” A rush of emotions goes through him when you look at him, your eyes glazed over and your lips slightly parted. Time stops for the both of you.

The waiter comes back with your cards and receipts, walking all four of you out the front of the restaurant and locking them behind you. All four of you stare at the closed door.

“I think they didn’t want us to come back in,” Denji says, turning and walking towards his car. 

“You’re driving? Didn’t you drink?” you ask, the floor underneath you feeling unsteady with every step you take.

Denji shakes his head, nodding towards a wobbling Power, “I have her to take care of.” He looks around the parking lot, “Do you need a ride home? I don’t see your car.”

“I took a Lyft here. And no, I don’t want to bother you, my place is the other way,” you pull out your phone holding it up facing him, “I’ll just take one back.”

“Not going to happen.” Aki interjects, “It’s late, and there are a lot of creeps, I’ll drive you home.”

“There’s no ne-”

“I’m not taking no for an answer. It’s not safe,” he interrupts your protest.

Denji speaks up as he steps backward towards his car, “Aki’s right. If you don’t want me to drive you home, let him. I think we would all feel much relaxed knowing we all got home safely.” 

There’s a need to protest again, but instead, you just nod, hands clasped in front of you. You both watch as Denji wraps an arm underneath Power’s underarms and waves goodbye before loading her into the passenger side of the car.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home.” Aki sighs, hands shoved into his pockets, turning and walking away from you. With no other choice, you follow him to a white BMW, sweat forming in the palms of your hands, you wish you were someone else right now.

You get into the passenger side, hands folded neatly in your lap as Aki starts to the car, eyes flickering across the clean interior of the car and sniffing the faint scent of cigarettes. “I didn’t know you smoked.” 

Aki’s fingers hover the screen in his car, a keypad popping up, “Yeah, I guess we haven’t seen each other in a while. Do you still have the same address?”

You nod your head and hum a response, “Yeah I guess we haven’t, and kinda, I’m still in the general area. I moved to a new condo a year ago. Here I’ll type the address.” You lean forward to put it in, your hand pushing his hand out of the way. The quick and simple touch of your skin touching his causes your face to burn, “Sorry.” 

The car falls silent, except for his music, as he pulls out of the parking lot. You watch buildings pass you, feel the movement of the car when it turns, and can hear the thumping of Aki’s fingers against the steering wheel above the soft sound of the engine whenever the car stops at a red light. Neither of you says anything for a few minutes before the silence becomes unbearable.

“So how are things with your dad?”

“Um, th-they’re okay. He’s getting married, so that’s exciting,” You turn to look at him. 

Aki’s fingers stop tapping against the wheel, blue eyes glancing at the GPS, “To Tomoe?”

You shake your head, laughing awkwardly, “They broke up a long time ago. No, um, it’s some woman he met abroad. Half his age.”

He reacts with a long, “Oh,” his fingers resuming their tapping on the center of the horn. 

“Yeah,” you stretch out, the tense silence settling between the two of you once more. Staring out the window again, you notice that you're now in your neighborhood. The streets are empty and the lights to the windows of the buildings are all shut off, the only source of light coming from the street lights that run along the edge of the sidewalk. 

Aki pulls up next to the condo building where you live, the lights from the lamps outside lighting the space up to the large glass door. The two of you remain still and quiet, staring at the road ahead. You feel as if you should say something. Feel the need to finish, and get closure, on the conversation from five years ago. 

You can still hear the echo of the words you said that you didn’t mean and can feel the knot from that day lodged in your throat every time you think about it. Glancing at Aki you wonder how he feels about how you left things if he felt the same nauseating turn of his stomach when he remembers. 

“Aki?” You whisper, swallowing the spit that forms in the back of your throat.

“Mmh?”

He turns towards you, both of his hands still resting on the wheel. He isn’t smiling at you, but he also doesn’t seem to be having the same emotional turmoil that you are, his expression unreadable. You open and close your mouth, losing the train of thought on what you wanted to say to clear the air, but with the way Aki appears unaffected by your closeness in the small space of the car, you decide that maybe he doesn’t need the same thing closure you do. “Um, Thanks for driving me home. You didn’t have to.”

He smiles at you, “It was nothing, and I really wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I hadn’t.”

“Well thanks anyway,” you reach for the door handle and open the door “I-I should go in.” You get out of the car, “Bye, Aki.”

Aki lifts one of his hands and gives you a small wave, “Good-night, y/n.”

You close the door behind you and walk a few feet up the pathway to the door, pulling your keycard from the back of the pocket attached to your phone. The ground underneath you still feels a little unsteady, but you manage to get to the front of the building, up the three stairs, and into the building. 

When you're closing the door you notice that Aki’s BMW is still parked outside. His dark tinted windows are rolled up, and though you can’t see him you still raise both your hands and wave a last goodbye smiling with your head tilted to your left, before stepping away and heading towards the elevator. Your phone dings a second later, a tiny smile spreads across your face when you see Aki’s name pop up again for the first time in years, and you open the text, the smile spreading a little wider despite the words deepening the ache in your chest.

Sleep tight. See you around.

Zhongli x Fallen God! Reader

Zhongli imagine (inspired by Akura-Ou from Kamisama Kiss)

Enemies to Lovers

CW: Mentions of violence, character death, one graphic description of how reader wants to kill Morax.

So imagine that you were a god during the time of the archon war. More specifically, the God of Calamity who feeds off of chaos and negative emotions of humans to increase their power. You face off against Morax, your sworn enemy, and find yourself pinned to the ground with a spear in your chest. As your body fades to dust, you curse Morax, swearing that you will one day return to exact your revenge.

Centuries pass, and you find yourself trapped in an empty void. You can neither see or feel anything, only absolute darkness with your thoughts as company. You beg Celestia to put an end to your suffering, to cease to exist, if only to escape this eternal abyss. However, your desperate pleas seemed to be answered with the appearance of a human soul.

A human who had passed in an unfortunate accident, close to where you had been slain. The human seems lighthearted as they speak with you, telling you of how silly they felt to have died from such a simple mistake. You scoff at the fact that this human thinks they can speak to you so casually, and yet, you relish in the fact that you are no longer alone. This is the first voice, other than your own, that you had heard in a millennia.

The human tells you how it’s about time that they move on to the next plane of existence, but they still have one regret. In fear of being alone again, you attempt to keep the human in this space longer, asking them to divulge their woes. The human tells you that their only regret is that they’ll be leaving their poor mother all alone. Their mother would have no one else to rely on nor anyone to keep her company.

In a moment of weakness, you admit to the human that you understand their fear of loneliness. You tell the human how you’ve been trapped in this place for so long. The human pities you, knowing that once they leave, you will be alone once more. The human was then struck with an idea and offered their body to you.

“Oh! I know! How about I let you use my body? You could take my place and keep my mom company! It’s a win-win, right?”

You couldn’t believe this human’s foolish proposal. This human knew nothing of your title as God of Calamity. Knew nothing of your history of bringing destruction to the humans of the ancient past. You wanted to exploit this human’s naivety.

“I suppose you’re correct. I will take up your generous offer.”

“Okay! Let’s make a contract then! You can use my body, but you have to promise me that you’ll take good care of my mom and keep her safe!”

Ah, so this human was not as trusting as you thought. Truly a follower of the God of Contracts. The thought of your assailant made your blood boil, but you composed yourself as you knew that this was the only way of escape.

“Very well. I will agree to those terms.”

“Nice! Wait, but if I’m gone, how will I know for sure that you’ll uphold our contract?”

You sigh and tell the human that when a contract is made with a god, a sigil of geo will appear on their body. This mark ensures that the god will not break their contract, less they suffer the judgement of Morax. Something you knew all too well. Once the contract is made, a golden symbol of geo appears on your chest, directly over your heart. You grimace at it while the human grins.

They thank you as they waved you off and fade into the afterlife. You, too, feel your body begin to flow into the vessel. When you open your eyes, you are greeted with a bright light and a blurry face of a woman. Her eyes are full of tears as she envelopes you in a hug, whispering about how worried she was. You find yourself tightly wrapping your arms around her torso, clinging to her in fear that this will all have been a dream and you will wake up in the void once more. Your eyes water as you relish in the warmth surrounding you.

Never again will you return to the darkness.

You take it upon yourself to assimilate with the humans, continuing to live as the human whose body you inhabit. However, in secret, you plan to enact your revenge on the god that killed you, whom you find out to be one of the seven archons. You try different methods to return your power to what it once was, but to no success.

All the while, you abide by the promise to the human and takes good care of their mother. You even sacrifice an opportunity to regain your power as it would’ve endanger their mother.

Your desire for revenge starts to waver upon hearing of the assassination of Rex Lapis. “Some bastard beat me to it!” You think, clenching your fists in rage. But now that Morax has been done away with, you wonder what you’ll do now. Your whole purpose for taking this human body was to get vengeance, so what now?

You remember your promise to the human and your growing fondness of their mother. You decide to put aside your pride as a deity and devote your life to continuing to be their child.

When Osial attacks the Harbour, your first instinct is to protect your mother at all costs. While all the other humans and milileth were fleeing from the water mimics, you used your ancient powers to fight them off. You absorbed the negative emotions from the humans running in terror and converted it into energy for you.

Your flames consumed the attacking mimics, evaporating them into nothing but steam. Once the battle was over, you immediately rushed to find your mother who you had taken far away from the Harbour before Osial had even been released. In your haste, you passed by a stranger whose golden eyes stared at you intently.

There was something familiar about this human, but you didn’t care to further ponder, too focused on making sure your mother was safe.

When everything subsided, you went back to your usual routine living amongst the mortals. You worked for the adventurer’s guild, doing commissions and picking up side jobs to provide for your mother. You ran errands and spent a lot of time with your human mother and you were content.

It wasn’t until you were confronted by a certain funeral consultant that your peaceful mortal life would be disturbed.

On your day off, you decided to have dinner by yourself at Third-Round Knockout as your mother was far too tired to leave the house and urged you to enjoy the nightlife rather than stay home all the time. You enjoyed the food while listening to the storyteller when a stranger took the seat across from you.

“What have you done with the human whose body you’ve stolen? Did you kill them?”

Once again, you saw the same human that you saw during Osial’s attack.

“Huh? What are you talking about, sir? Are you perhaps drunk—“

“Do not try to deceive me. I’ve had my eye on you for some time, but your actions during Osial’s attack confirmed that you are not as you seem.”

You narrow your eyes, trying to read on the man, but having no such luck.

“Certainly you don’t mean when I stopped those water mimics from attacking the other citizens of Liyue? All I did was defend my home from invaders.”

The stranger’s face was stone cold as he leaned closer and spoke in a harsh tone, “I mean when you absorbed the negative emotions from the fleeing humans,”

You tensed up, a sense of dread pooling in your stomach.

“There’s only one pathetic being that comes to mind who feeds from absolute discord. Although, I could have sworn that they had died by my spear. Isn’t that right, God of Calamity?”

So many emotions ran through your head until it settled on a burning, all-consuming rage. A crazed grin appeared on your face as you failed to hold back your cynical laughter.

“Morax…so you’re alive? And here I thought I missed my chance to kill you myself. And yet, here you are, delivering yourself to me. Oh how I can’t wait to tear you limb from limb and display your severed head from the gates of Liyue Harbour.”

“As if you could ever put a scratch on me. I will simply just have to pierce my spear through that twisted heart of yours, if you even have one.”

Your hand twitched to summon your blade as you had a stand off with the ex archon.

“Y/n? Is everything alright, dear?“

All malice disappeared from your face as your eyes widened and your head whipped around to look at your worried mother.

“M-Mother! What are you doing out this late?? It’s dangerous for you to be walking the streets all by yourself!”

“I was worried when you didn’t come home when you said you would. I thought you drank too much again and came to get you.”

Your mother’s eyes landed on the funeral consultant, a smile making its way onto her lips.

“Oh! I see now! You’ve made a friend, Y/n! I’m so glad for you! Don’t mind me then, I’ll just go back home.”

You glanced back at the geo archon, clicking your tongue before pulling out a satchel and slapping some mora out on the table.

“Hold on, mother. I’ll walk you back home.”

“No, no. Don’t let me get in the way of you spending time with your new friend!”

“It’s alright. We were just about to part ways anyway.”

“It was nice to meet you, Y/n. I will see you around Liyue. Please get home safely, ma’am.” Zhongli said with a polite smile.

“Thank you, young man! Have a good night.”

You shot the ex archon a glare before getting up to join your mother. If you saw him again, it’d be too soon.

Oh, how fate loved to toy with you.

A/N

Pt. 2 in the works!! If anyone has ideas for scenarios let me know!!

It was over from the start

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Characters: Ayato, Ayaka & Thoma

Including: Angst

Warnings: Blood, Violence, Death (can be triggering)

Summary: They never came back, it was already too late.

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Words count: 4.1k

Blank blogs dni

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How sweet was it to fall in love with the head of the Kamisato Clan, the dear older brother of your friend, Ayaka. You knew her for years, since she was a child while you were a bit older, since she couldn't see her brother most of the time, she would hang out with you. She was someone dear to you, that you would protect for anything and anyone, she was your first friend, and you were cherishing her.

After some years, her older brother grew curious about who Ayaka was seeing whenever she was going out, and that's how you met him. You spend hours talking while drinking tea, Ayato listening closely to everything you were saying while you share memories you had with the younger sister, from years ago to now, games you played, books you read together, Ayato could see how fond you were of his sister.

That's when he decided to trust you completely with her, not wanting to take away one of the people that were making his dearest little sister happy. You got the approval of coming to the Kamisato Estate whenever you wanted, granting you the honour of spending as much time as you wanted here. And slowly but surely, you grew closer to Ayato, and Thoma. Which was making Ayaka more than happy.

Everyone grew used to seeing you everywhere Ayaka went, and it wasn't rare for Thoma to join you. Especially since you had one particular thing in common, which is the both of you coming from Mondstadt, it made you become closer than ever. Thoma was someone you trusted greatly, and you would go see him when you ended up missing your nation. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, he would come to see you and share some memories he had there, with his friends, and you could hear how much he was missing it too.

Despite both loving Inazuma so much, you were longing to go back to Mondstadt. But for now, you would push this need aside, because for you, Ayaka mattered more, and for Thoma, his Lord mattered more too. At least, it was the official reason, because on one drinking night, with you two sitting on a bench, watching people passing by, you admitted something. How badly you fell in love with Ayato after some months, and then, Thoma admitted that he had feelings for the younger sister.

You knew you couldn't do anything about this, you grew up and lived in a different world, position, and your future would never be as bright as theirs. You agreed to never talk about it again, and time continued to fly as if nothing happened, the secret will only stay between the two of you. Until on another night, you voiced out your love for the head of the clan by accident, and he replies positively. This changed everything.

You learned soon after, that Thoma admitted to Ayato what he was feeling, and surprisingly, he agreed for him to court his sister, on the condition that he needed for them to both hit their 18 years old first. Since they were both born the same year, one in January, and the other in September, he would have to wait 9 more months, but he was willing to do that.

Everything was going well, for the better, Thoma hit his 18th birthday, and you all celebrated together, and then, 9 months later, it was Ayaka's turn. Nothing changed much between all of you, except for your closeness with Ayato, and Thoma being subtly sweeter and more attentive with Ayaka.

You were sure that the joy and happiness would last long, or so you thought until the news came in, Ayato was going to marry a woman for political reasons and someone from another clan proposed to Ayaka. You weren't worried at first, you knew he liked you back, and you were closer than ever. But then, one day, while leaving your house, you could hear everyone talking, saying how happy they were that Kamisato Ayato accepted the marriage with this woman, that was perfect in their eyes for someone like him.

The news crushed you, your heart breaking into pieces, but you didn't dare to say anything, knowing it wasn't your place to. You decided to just slowly put distance between yourself and the head of the Kamisato clan, reassuring Ayaka that it will never impact your friendship with her. It pained you to see him talk with someone else, forgetting you, but you focused on what was important. After all, you weren't living in the same world, it would have never worked out.

Ayato talked to you once after this, but instead of giving you a reason, he just told you it was for the best. Since then, you never talked with him again, except if it was related to Ayaka. You could see him try to call out for you, but this woman was showing up at the same time every time, and he couldn't do anything but watch you walk away. You didn't hate this woman, she was just doing what her clan asked her to, creating a link with another clan, and so, you treated her as greatly as any other guest.

Soon after, the other news hit you, Ayaka accepted the engagement with this man. The same night, Thoma came to you, crying in your arms, whimpering and stuttering words out with difficulty. It was unbearable for him, after months of trying to win her heart, Ayaka just accepted someone that she knew nothing about, as if he never existed in the first place or never mattered in her life. You comforted him the best you could, understanding the pain he was going through more than anyone else. This night, none of you slept, too heartbroken to even think about trying to rest.

The next day, you both agreed to stay away from the one person breaking your heart, which means also seeing the other less, but it was for your own good. Ayaka was confused about why Thoma hasn't come to talk to her today, but you didn't reply, knowing there was no good answer to her question.

Your happiness and joy fell drastically, the pain overtaking any good emotions left in your heart, you couldn't bear to see his face anymore or hear his voice. You were sleeping less, your mind filled with bad thoughts, your chest hurting as your heart was squeezed painfully, and you felt awfully bad. The simple act of going there, and spending your hours in between these walls, remembering everything you did with him, was adding to your suffering, breaking the rest of the mental strength you had.

You couldn't imagine the pain Thoma was going through, as he knew Ayaka for years, living here since he was a teenager. And on one of your nights, the one when you would just rant to Thoma, and he would do the same with you, he let out a sentence you couldn't forget.

“I want to go back to Mondstadt.”

You knew Mondstadt was suffering from a war against monsters right now, and it was one of the worst periods to go back here, but was it really worse than staying in Inazuma? The thought couldn't leave your mind, you wanted to stay here with Ayaka, but at the same time, you knew it would only make you suffer more. You kept your feelings in, and decided to push them aside until you had to face them for real.

Days passed again, and your state was only getting worse, Ayaka could see it, and she tried everything to make you feel better, also bringing you to your favourite places. But it was only making you feel worse, as in every place she was bringing you to, you had memories of Ayato there, and it was making you feel sick. You weren't sleeping correctly anymore, eyebags appearing, and you grew colder. Your joyful personality has disappeared as everything was too much for you right now, these feelings you had were making you die inside.

Thoma was watching from afar, worried and sad for you, which would catch the attention of Ayato, that also grew worried. He didn't know what was happening to you, but it was driving him crazy to not be able to just ask you, as if something was pulling him back before he could step forward. How stupid of him to not see he was the one inflicting you this much pain, unknowingly making you agonize in this place, trapped between these walls. He thought your love for him wasn't serious, how wrong was he. If only he knew.

The day ended, and without knowing it, you missed Ayato waiting for you on the other side of the Estate, himself not knowing you weren't walking in front of his office anymore, to avoid seeing him. As you were leaving for the day, closing the door behind you when you noticed this woman waiting for you, looking a bit embarrassed. She dragged you gently away, asking you if you had any idea of a gift she could give to Ayato, since you were closer to him and knew him better. It was the final straw. You felt your heart break and being crushed under her feet.

You replied to her softly, giving her the best idea you had, and you watch with gentle eyes as she brightens up. She thanks you over and over again, before bowing and walking away happily, not knowing that you gave her the gift you were planning to offer Ayato for his birthday. But you knew you will never give it to him anyway, despite knowing you talk about it with him before, he surely had forgotten by now, so it wasn't important. You took your decision.

The same night, Thoma was waiting for you at your house, and he confessed that he was thinking about leaving soon, only comforting you in your decision. He looked at you with wide eyes when you announced that you were leaving the next day, you had left a letter of resignation under Ayaka's office door, and you would take the first ship leaving from the port the next morning. Your bags were packed, nothing was holding you back now. You were suffering too much here, everywhere you were going, memories were swarming you, memories of you and Ayato, crushing your heart and making you suffocate.

Thoma was sharing your feelings, suffering as much as you if not more, and without a second thought, he decided to come with you. The only reason he was holding up, was because you were here, if you leave him now, he would be completely destroyed. And that's how you helped him pack his bags, bringing them to your house and sleeping here for the night.

The next day, when the sun came up, you were admiring the sunrise from Inazuma one last time. Knowing you weren't coming back.

You went to the port, greeting the crew as they helped you carry your bags and then, the ship was leaving. And you watch as the land was becoming thinner and thinner until you couldn't see it anymore. Meanwhile, Ayaka has woken up, and found your letter, reading it with tears in her eyes before running to her older brother. And as he read, his heart stopped, an unknown feeling spreading through his body as he stared into the void, not knowing what to do. When Ayaka reached your house, alone, you had already left and there were no traces of Thoma left.

You observed the clear blue sky, admiring the few clouds you could see as you relax outside, Thoma sitting calmly beside you with a small smile, watching as you seemed much happier than before. You enjoyed the sounds of the wave hitting the ship, the fresh air of the sea and the calm, for the first time in weeks, you were feeling at peace. The tension and responsibility weighing your shoulders evaporating with the salty water, all the pain going away slowly, as you get away from Inazuma. Away from him and those unwanted memories.

You were so thankful to Kazuha, your long-time friend, that managed to convince Beidou to take you with them on the ship. He understood how much he was suffering, and the physical state you were in was only proving how hard it has been for you recently. He almost cursed out loud when he heard about what happened, and he couldn't help but feel furious about how Ayato and Ayaka just dismissed your feelings, as if it wasn't important in the first place.

The ship should bring you to Liyue and then, you had to find a way to reach Mondstadt, even with the war going on, but you reassured Kazuha that everything would be fine, and he had no reason to worry. And without another word, he just smiled at you, holding out his hands to you before motioning to Thoma to follow you, bringing you to a higher place on the ship, where nobody could go except the captain and him, so you could enjoy your travel as much as it was possible.

Soon enough, you saw the land, not far away from you, and a warm feeling was spreading through your heart into the rest of your body. And for the first time in three days, you saw the brightest smile on Thoma's face as he held onto your shoulder, watching excitedly as you grew closer to the other nation.

And finally, after three days, from being on Beidou's ship to reaching Liyue and then asking merchants to bring you to Mondstadt, you were there. You were both exhausted, but the thought of finally being away from what was causing you so much pain was just, so refreshing. The fresh air, all the tension leaving your body as you recognize your home, the city you grew up into, everything was perfect. And the smile on your face was so natural and true, filled with honesty and hope. You were finally here, the city of freedom.

On your way there, you met with Diluc, his red flaming hair catching your attention immediately, and you feel the emotions taking over. You couldn't help but run forward and hug him, unknowingly bringing him to tears as he was so sure he would never see you again. He was the one that helped you to reach Inazuma after all, ignoring his feelings for you as he just wanted you to be happy. He was also so relieved to see Thoma with you, and he offered to let you stay the night.

This night ended up being three days, talking and sharing what happened during you weren't here, also telling you how the war was going before moving back to lighter subjects. As you talked, you started to regain memories you never knew existed, and it was so sweet to remember how happy you were to live here, when you were playing with Diluc and Kaeya or purposely annoying the merchants in the city. Everything felt so nostalgic, and you were feeling better than ever, your own happiness affecting Thoma, that couldn't help but watch you go back to your old self with gentle eyes.

Soon enough, you told your old friend that you were going to go to the city for the day, and he offered to bring you there, afraid that the monsters could attack you. And he was right because on the way, near the walls, a group of monsters jumped on you, thankfully you defeated them easily but turns out they were attacking the city and the knights were struggling to protect it. Without a second thought, Diluc grabbed his claymore and jumped into the fight, with a nod, you and Thoma joined him.

And after hours of intense fighting, and some cuts inflicted on your bodies, you managed to defeat them and make the rest give up. You looked over to Diluc, worried as his palms were burned by his vision, and you run to the nearest shop to buy something to heal him. By the time you were all more or less okay, it was too late to do anything else for the day, and Thoma rented a room instead of going back to the Dawn Winery Manor.

One day became a week, and then became two, and you ended up staying more than you thought in the city. As you agreed to leave the next day in the afternoon to see Diluc again, sadly, an attack ruined your plan. You woke up to loud noises and screams, the monsters invaded the city and were destroying everything along with attacking the citizens. You watched in shock from your window how a Mitachurls send a man flying into the wall, blood splashing everywhere.

Screams were resonating through the city, chilling you to the bone as you watch in horror everything getting reduced to flesh and broken pieces. Monsters were running into the city, bursting doors open, attacking anything that was moving, and the knights were struggling to protect the population. Thoma shoots up, grabbing his polearm ready to fight, but you weren't so sure about it being a good idea. Yes, you knew how to fight, but the knights were trained for this but were already struggling, your guts were telling you to not go in here.

But at the same time, you couldn't let Thoma jump into this battle alone, and when you hear him open the door and run down, you didn't have the time to think. You grabbed your weapon and attacked the first hillichurl you could find.

Everything was going well, they weren't strong enough to put you in difficulty, that was until two Mitachurls showed up. Not only one had a shield protecting him from your attacks, but the second had an enormous axe, and it was almost if not as big as you. You struggled to dodge every hit, the monster in front of you forcing you to back up into a wall, leaving you no opening to escape. And before you knew it, your back hit the brick wall harshly, and the Mitachurl was raising his axe over his head.

You managed to dodge the first attack, stepping to the side as the axe grazed your left shoulder, still creating a deep cut into your skin that was bleeding profusely. But as the second one was coming, you heard a scream, you turned your head on reflex to see Thoma surrounded by abyss mages, he was bleeding, and his left arm was frozen. Before you could move or process what you were seeing, his eyes meet yours, panic reflecting through his expression, terror taking over. And then he was burned in front of you, his screams echoing into your ears, your name dying under the pained cries. And it went silent, everything was unmoving around you as if the world stopped for almost a second.

Sadly it didn't last, and only an instant later, you heard something cutting through the air. The axe was falling down on you, breaking your bones, cutting through your skin and flesh, organs spilling out of the gaping cut. And then, it was over. You were dead on the spot, unable to hear Diluc screaming your name in desperation, witnessing your body cut in half and falling to the ground in a disgusting wet sound.

He killed them, unable to contain his rage, burning through his body, burning his hands as he kills everything he could see. But deep down, he knew that whatever he was doing now, he couldn't bring you back, he couldn't bring Thoma back. He would protect the rest of the population, doing his best to forget the scene he saw just an instant before, even if he knew he won't be able to sleep anymore after this. Your empty eyes and face covered in blood would haunt him forever. How cruel was it to come back, spend days with him, bring back memories and then die in front of him this way?

The battle ended only some hours after, many were dead, innocent people or knights, many lost loved ones and the population was devastated. Diluc left without a word, only stopping on your corpse to close your eyes before disappearing. With an unknown reason for most, he never came out of the Dawn Winery Manor again, refusing to go out and see anyone, too broken by the view of his loved ones dying again. It was only a week after that Ayaka reached Mondstadt, without his brother as he was celebrating his marriage, leaving her alone to discover the destroyed and bloody city. Despite searching everywhere, she couldn't find you or Thoma, she was getting desperate, almost crying in the middle of the street until someone came to help her. When she told the unknown person whom she was searching for, they became silent and simply led her to a calm area.

In front of her, was standing a tombstone, with thousands of names written on it. She was confused until she reached the middle of it, graved inside the granite, along with the names of the knights and the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius, were yours and Thoma's names. Ayaka froze on the spot, hands shaking as she raised her fingers, touching the tombstone to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, it was really your two names here. You were dead. You weren't coming back to Inazuma, never.

She stood there, tears sliding down her cheeks as she couldn't let any words out. She needed someone to comfort her, she needed you or Thoma, she needed her brother, but none of you was here. She never had the time to say goodbye, the last memory she had with you was your broken and cold self, the tired and hurt Thoma. Without a word, she left the city after placing your and Thoma's favourite flowers in front of the tombstone.

On the way back, Ayaka didn't exchange any words, and even if she wanted to, each syllable she tried to murmur out was destroying her throat, as if it was burning from the inside. When she came back to Inazuma, she didn't speak a word to Beidou or Kazuha, unable to announce the news. She simply reached the Kamisato Estate, and broke off her engagement, throwing the ring away as she sits in the corner of the room, holding the letter you left against her chest, crying.

Ayato wasn't here, and she was all alone to deal with her pain. The next day, she sent one of the servants to deliver a letter announcing the terrible news to the people you knew, omitting the cause of the death. She only said that you died as a hero, saving the citizens of Mondstadt during the war. She sent a similar letter to Ayato, that was still celebrating his engagement at this time, telling everything that she knew, from the reason why you were being so down, to why you decided to leave Inazuma, to finally announce your death, insisting on how painful your death was.

In another letter, that she sent a day after, she told him everything she was feeling, from the pain to regrets and how much she hated herself for not doing anything before everything went down. The news shocked the head of the Kamisato Clan to the point he left during the celebration, running back to his younger sister in hope she would tell him it was a joke.

Unfortunately, the journey back took an entire day, and when he reached the Kamisato Estate, it was already too late. The only thing he found, was the corpse of his dearest sister, her royal blue kimono was now completely red, and in her hand, was resting your letter along with a picture of the four of you together.

Ayato was all alone now, his wife will never be able to compensate for the void he had in his heart, if he still had a heart. Everything was cold and grey around him, he lost his sister, he lost his most trusted servant that he considered a close friend, and he lost the one he truly loved. If only he didn't put his political marriage before anything else, or at least explained why he did this. But he did not, and he lost everything he was living for. Is the tragedy really over, or?

One thing is certain.

They never came back, it was already too late.

Dark And Cold

ragnvider! adopted! reader and the unfortunate events that follows after the death of their father.

Tw: Mentions of blood and injuries.

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"Stop it. You guys. Please. Just not in front of father!" Diluc and Kaeya's fighting doesn't seem to stop for anything. Diluc is going at it and Kaeya only seems to defend himself from his brother. Not even trying to attack back in the slightest. But still shit talking every chance he gets.

"I said Stop!" A lighting bolt is let out and it lands right in between the two brothers.

It was comical indeed. You were blessed with a vision. Blessing? It was life laughing at your face. It was a curse. For better or for worse that seems to have finally stopped your brothers from fighting and then to look at you.

"Can we please just get dad home and sort this out? I- I can't bare to see you guys fight. Please." Everything just comes out a hushed wispher but you're sure they heard you. After all the dead of the night was the only white noise.

"There is no home for us. Haven't you guys already done enough? I don't ever want you traitors near me. I don't want you calling my father as your own." Diluc spits out with his eyebrows furrowed. The expression is clear. Hatred. Betrayal. You name it. He doesn't trust anyone anymore. Not even his siblings. Dare he say you guys were never family.

"Is that what you truly wish for?" The question came as a surprise to Kaeya. He was going to tell Diluc off for dragging you into this. Archons! you were the youngest there and you weren't even remotely related to kaeya by blood, So why must you be a subject to this? Just someone who was left to fend for in front of the church. But again, Before he could answer no. Diluc beat him to something else.

"Yes. Don't come crawling back to our place. There is no place for you both. I hate you! Everything my father did was in vain because of you guys. A selfish lot indeed." The wound is still fresh. Right now it seems to sting more than ever. Father died. Kaeya is a spy. What does he expect from you? He doesn't wanna find out. It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

"If that's what you want. I'll gladly oblige. Diluc, Kaeya. If i ever see you again. Pretend you don't know me. You cut out ties off so i don't see a reason to stay in mondstadt. I hope you live a filling life." With that to drag your feet out of the place. It's cold. It's raining. Diluc and Kaeya look at you leave. They utter nothing. Unsure of wheather you truly meant that. They don't chase after you. They have their own wounds to tend to.

For you however it's dark out. What can you see? Nothing. No hope for your future. What were you ought to do?

It's like God had answered your question. A certain ginger head was walking right by the qingce village you were near by. He saw the uneven steps you took. Mistakenly taking you for a drunk person and he thought of playing with you even. That is until he came closer and saw you clutching your arm. It was a horrifying sight to see. Even the Fatui Harbinger was shocked. Your Arms had a dagger through it. Your body was almost soaked in blood. There were many open wounds here and there. But most importantly you looked pained. Tears threatening to spill out. But somehow still holding back.

"Little Miss. You better come with me and see a doctor right now. Those wounds aren't gonna heal themself you know?" He spoke so kindly. You didn't have the heart to refuse. You weren't the position to either. Any help. Any pitiful gaze. Just anything to put out the pain you feel.

"That.. would be very helpful." You chuckle out. Almost funnily enough you find out that he was one of the Harbingers later. What were you supposed to do? Honor your father- That's not what you deserved to call him. Honor your dead gaurdian or honor the man that saved you. You merely chose the one in front of you.

Childe was a day of hope in the dark that you needed. He played a big brother's role. Unironically and very well at that too. He was always eager to take you home to his siblings. Always more than happy to treat you lunch. Making sure you a safe and sound before you sleep. You saw both Diluc and Kaeya in him. Being an actual brother himself, He understood both sides. However he ridiculed your brothers for not going after you. Although he wouldn't say it out loud. He did drop a couple of hints that he would love to have you in his home with his other siblings. You didn't have to get your hands dirty at the Fatui. You could just do something else.

But you can't sit idly knowing the man that took you in at your worst could be out there on danger. You vowed to never leave his side and to protect him. Although childe was much older than you, he found it rather endearing. He let you stay during his missions. Of course he would still try to protect you from the bloodshed happening. Closing your eyes with his hands every chance he gets.

"So, Little Missy, you don't have to come to this mission. It's rather in a place you'd rather not visit." He spoke. Placing his warm hand on your head and ruffling it ever so gently. But you were set. When you said you'd never leave him, you meant it.

"No. It's fine. I have you now don't I? Mondstadt doesn't bother me anymore. Plus, it's not like i have family." He saw the sad chuckle you let out. No sibling deserved to go through this. They didn't either. But what was he to do anything?

"Hey now, don't say that. Teucer and I will be sad for months." He tried to lighten the mood. You saw right through him. He's always trying to keep the pain away.

"Thank you. I truly appreciate you guys." You said smiling. It was geniune this time.

After a decade. A long stretched out decade later. You find your way to mondstadt. But it isn't with intention to find your old family, No. It's with intentions with protecting the one you've been gifted with.

It was nostalgic to say the least. You were twenty five. A bigger circle of people with you. Certainly drawing the attention. You still had that same hair colour. Still the same eyes yet somehow dead. The scar on your arm seemed new. The clothes you wore. Everything seemed the same yet off.

"Let's go get a few drinks! I am certainly drained but some alcohol will sure be there to cheer me up." Childe said. Dramatically placing a hand over his head to act out as if he were in pain.

"Okay, let's go." The only time you agreed to drink with him was when you guys weren't at home. You were known to have weird drinking habits. So it was best to not show childe's family that side.

The nearest Tavern was Angel's share. Of course the well known one. You didn't object to go there. After all you didn't know anyone. Or rather you refused to acknowledge them.

The ring of doors opening altered the owner. "Welcome to Angel's share. What can I-" He looked up to be faced with his dear sibling. Does he even deserves to call you that? He remembers the harsh words he said. He didn't mean them. Not one of them. He also sees the Fatui there. He's confused. But right now he has to focus to getting to talk to you.

Kaeya who was sitting in front of Diluc was shocked as well. He couldn't say anything. The words were stuck in his throat. You were taller. More cold. The electro vision hung on your waist like his. Yet it seemed different.

The ginger next to you speaks up so you don't have to. "If you'd be kind to give us comrades a big table and loads of booze would be great!" He spoke with a smile.

Diluc couldn't say anything. He simply nodded. He would speak to you before you left. He surely would. He thought to himself.

"Come on, Dear. And please be mindful of how much you drink, yeah? We don't want you doing what you did last time." He said. You could only look away in embarrassment as you recalled how you cried and refused to let childe go thinking he'll abandon you when he was really going to the bathroom.

The way that man coaxed you rubbed Diluc and Kaeya the wrong way. It wasn't his place.

"It won't happen again. I swear." You said.

The drinks had been served. Everything was going very well. Until you met eyes with Diluc. God. You couldn't say a part of you want relieved at them doing well. But now you simply showed no emotion on the outside. For now, you were drinking a glass of wine. You were getting a bit tipsy. The drinks were getting to you. This is where you should've stopped. But you didn't. You just couldn't.

"Brother Ajax." You uttered. Three heads turned to you. Only one was overjoyed however. Diluc and Kaeya looked in horror. The one who they raised as their own for nine years was in front of them calling a Fatui Harbinger their brother.

Childe was beyond happy. He told you multiple times to call him that. But somehow this was the first time.

"Finally! You said it. I've been waiting for so long to hear you say that! You're as endearing as ever. I wished you just stay home though." He said hugging you.

You could only smile and say "How am i supposed to protect my brother if he's out fighting for our family?"

Everything came crashing down. Diluc couldn't hold back the cracking of his heart. Kaeya could only tear up at that. What went wrong? Well, everything. They would never have you smile at them. They could never have you call them brother again. They could never have you back in their family again. You were nothing but a chapter in the past.

"Can you please come back home?" Diluc spoke up to you. It came down as a surprise to childe though. He didn't think your brothers were none other than the famed protecters of mondstadt.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I don't understand you." You replied. All that you had drunk seemed to have vanished.

"Just come back home. I miss you, No We miss you. Kaeya, The maids. Everyone. I'm sorry for everything i said. I never meant them. Just please.. find your way back to us." He had a very sad look. lips pressed into a thin line. Kaeya could only say yes in a hushed voice.

"But i am home. I am home with brother Ajax-" Right when you said that you fainted. Dropping in and out of consciousness send to be one of the side effects of you drinking alcohol. Before your head could collide with the table, Childe put his hand in between. Slowly putting you to the side he turned to Diluc and Kaeya.

"You know when my sibling right here told me that their brothers left them. I would've never guessed it would've been you guys. Of course i expected more from you. Now that i know, I'll make you never get to hurt my dear again." Childe said. He had seen you grow up in front of him. Grow up? it was forced upon you. You never got a chance to have a normal childhood. Always killing, going to dangerous places. All of this could've been avoided if only one of them spoke up that night.

"We were talking to our sibling. Not yours." Kaeya spat out. All these years of searching for you. After such a long time, they finally got to see you but they couldn't hug you. They couldn't say they missed you dearly. They couldn't be a family to you when you needed them most.

"Yours you say? All you seem to have done is stab their heart. Rest assured they're with me now. Family to me. Keep your noses out of our business." With that childe carried you out of the tavern. They didn't dare chase after you again. Not when you were happy else where.

It was dark. It was cold. It was raining but you had your brother on your side this time.

𝐈 𝐒𝐞𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝄞

Genre: fluff, slight angst, slight smut

Characters: Yoshida Hirofumixfem!studentreader

Warning: possessiveness, stalker, death, blood, gore, mature scene, knife, underage drinking

Synopsis: It's a typical student falling in love the most popular student, but nothing is ordinary when she finds the truth.

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The morning breeze outside woke you up, slightly shivery despite wearing a coat that you mother insisted you to wear. She was afraid you'd catch cold and have red nose the whole day would make you look like Rudolph the red nose reindeer.

You shook your head thinking how your sibling would tease for having red nose, it's stupid but he's only young he'd pick on you just as much you tease him whenever his crush was around. You stuffed your hands inside your pocket slightly cursing to the weather it wasn't helping.

You could only wish you could stay inside your warm bed and just sleep, but you didn't you chose to go to school since you knew missing school for the fifth time wasn't a good idea and you were behind your classes, you walked to school with you head down since you were pushing yourself to at least be productive since the past few days you were burnt out.

Especially when you have classmate who ask you to do their essays and other homework, you earn money from doing so but honestly it was taking so much of your time that you end up sleeping late or sleepless nights.

You hid this from your parents, after all they don't want to see their daughter was being treated like this afterall you were invincible to everyone, maybe the teachers don't care if you still don't show up to class today, that made you stop right in front of you school, few minutes before the bell rings you still debated over the fact of leaving or staying.

As you turned around you suddenly bumped into someone chest.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." You rubbed your forehead as you felt his hands on your shoulder, you looked up meeting a black haired boy with piercings on, his eyes met yours before he smiles at you.

Rubbing the back of his neck as he was seemingly flustered.

"Are you okay?" You simply nodded, you were lost for words he was just incredibly good looking he swiftly moves away past you as he walks inside your feet just moves on it's own.

You changed your shoes before heading to your class, you seat behind the class, it was right next to the trash can but somehow it wasn't so bad after all it gives you the view watching the trees sway and the cloudy sky. You mutter 'excuse me' as you make your way back, just as you place your bad down students came to your direction dumping their notes books on your table. You flinched with their slamming carelessly, you knew the drill it means to do their homework.

The girls snickered at your pathetic state, you could do was stare just as the bell rings again your homeroom teacher came in. The class representative stood up as everyone follows. You quickly gather the notebooks away from your desk but one had fallen the other boys looked at you before they roll their eyes.

"You may all sit down." The teacher announces. You were about to reach down for the notebook but suddenly you felt a hand tug your hair harshly, you let out a whimper.

"Hey, you better not mess this up just because you've been gone for awhile this doesn't stop." The teacher's eyes fell on to your direction but she couldn't see clearly what was the ruckus going on at the back.

"Himari-san what's going on over there?" Her voice was stern rather than caring, she quickly retracted her hand as she pat the back of your head little bit harsh, too much damn volleyball her hand was heavy.

"Nothing, I was watching over her head since she was dangerously close to get hit by my desk." She gave her a wide smile, the teacher took a quick glance at you as you took the notebook inside your bag. She quickly averted her eyes away but the girl beside you gave you a death look before showing you her middle finger.

You felt tears were about to fall from your eyes, you hid your hands under your desk as you clutch on your skirt trying to fight away the need to cry.

Just before that, there was a sudden knocking.

The door opened showing the principal with two boys behind him, the principal greeted the class then the two student followed behind him.

"These two gentlemen will be joining you, take care of them." The principal bid good luck before waving as he walks out, the homeroom teacher encourages the two new student to greet themselves.

"Hello, I'm Denji." The boy with blond scruffy hair tiredly wave, the boy beside him was the one who I bumped into just this morning.

"Hello, I'm Yoshida Hirofumi, please take care of me." He smiled just then the girls started shrieking over, even Himari was clearly drooling over him.

Instead of staring I just looked away, not long after he might start joining everyone else dumping homework, essays maybe even ask for cheat sheet in exams. I was ready to expose everyone but I couldn't I was a coward, I don't want my father to lose his job nor my mother to get called by harsh names neither do I want my brother to lose all his friends.

It's such a unjust life, I hate everything yet it never stops even in my dreams I end up crying remembering that one moment things went beyond control.

ꕥ throwback ꕥ

It was November, I messed up again. I lost Mina's notebook even though I swore it might have been at my house they didn't believe me. She got scolded by our history teacher since she was the only one who didn't have homework, she blames it on me because I forgot that her homework was beside my desk, she cussed, hit, punch and even threaten me that my father will lose his job at the corporate.

I had no power, I was weak, I don't have a title neither do I have a chance to stand against them. I cried and cried that day they followed me as I walk home, everyone was there they told me to stand on the bridge.

With shaky legs I followed, I sobbed in front of them as they only took photos and video of me. I begged them to stop, my vision was blurring as I hold tightly to the scarf my brother gave me for my birthday.

"Say it out loud! We can't hear you." One of them shouted, laughter followed.

"I'm a stupid whore, I'm useless, I'm a trash person." I shouted Mina clapped as she walked toward giving out her hand.

"I forgive you." She smiled, just then she suddenly pushed me off the bridge, before I knew it I was falling to the river. In death I never wanted it to be them the last thing I'll see, I want to hear my mother's humming her sweet melodic voice, my brother's endless teasing and he always knock on my door bidding goodnight and I'd kiss his forehead as he rubs it off, and my father. I miss our endless night ride whenever we want he'd even take me out to eat even at late nights.

But wouldn't it be better?

That I'm gone.

They won't be harmed anymore, right?

I felt something moving around me, I felt like I was floating, something moving then splashing.

It was ticklish, I slowly open my eyes I looked around and saw darkness but the water was clear, glowing as I watch thousand of koi swimming around.

"You would be a bitter on to eat." A voice echoed, I looked around only to be met by a female who was naked but her parts was covered by her long dark hair, her eyes were fully black as she has gills on the side of her cheeks, her pointed nose and large fangs that was peaking out of her crimson lips.

She was pale yet with her grisly appearance she look rather elegant yet terrifying.

"I can smell your anger from here, it follows with sadness. I prefer to eat men however my children deliver a woman instead." Her slim pointed fingers caress the koi that swims in her direction.

"I guess you and I know what it feels to be alone. Suffer alone, cry alone, we never learn don't we?" Her voice was sultry, she moves closely it came to my view that her legs were covered in scale, it shimmers with holographic colors appearing she sit beside you as she carefully observes you with her fingers playing with your hair.

"I know, make a deal with me." She said, you looked at her confuse written in your eyes it cause her to giggled as she clasp her hands in delight.

"One thousand years and finally I found a perfect one. I'm the koi devil, I'm not that powerful nor harmful towards humans but I can only assure you wealth, luck and power in life." She hummed tracing her finger on you as she stop in front of you.

"You have no clue, do you?" It came out as a whisper, her face falls into sadness.

"You died, my koi took pity on you. It'd be waste for you to die now don't you think?" Just as she said that I realize I wasn't breathing.

She used her finger pointing to my chest were my heart was. Her bores into mine as she closes the gap her lips was in my ear.

"What do you say kid? Make some risk to live again, don't you want to live?"

ꕥ End of throwback ꕥ

The devil left a koi symbol on my left chest, it doesn't hurt since I have gotten use to it. I woke up in the hospital my parents were outside talking with the doctor and my little brother who was curled up beside the window I could hear him sobbing.

That day I thought meeting the koi devil was just a dream but it wasn't, they don't see it, none of them could see the koi symbol on my chest.

The deal was real she gave endless abundance in our life, a new home a new car we moved out few days after I woke up in the hospital, I move to a different school but nothing changed I was still the same I live the same life that I thought would change, money can't even buy me a new life.

I heard shuffling that instantly stopped me from spacing out.

I realized Yoshida took the seat in front of me while Denji took the seat beside him. He turned as he gave me a smile followed by a wink. I instantly place my palms on my cheeks.

I heard the girls scoff at me, just when the day continues on and the school lunch bell rings I realize I left my wallet it was in a different bag. I dislike about myself is how forgetful I can get.

"Hey aren't you going to get lunch too?" I was surprised Denji talked to me, I just shook my head. Suddenly a gurgling noise coming from stomach made me even more embarrassed.

Yoshida turned around as he place his lunch bag on my table, "I have made a lot this morning, share it with me." He hands me extra chopsticks as Denji drag his chair and sit beside the table before munching down on his own food, they shared jokes and made me laugh every second, Denji who was talking while munching as some few food particles kept spewing out of his mouth only made me laugh since Yoshida kept telling him to stop talking while eating. He even kept giving me more even when I'm starting to feel full he said that seeing me eat makes him full, I wish it stayed as this forever, Yoshida being kind and Denji won't see me different like a trash that everyone calls me.

I begged in my mind, 'please don't let this change.'

After the day, Yoshida was surrounded my girls left and right, I even got pushed and bumped into no one even apologized as they all swarmed him.

"Man, he looks ungrateful if that was me I'd never hesitate to be cocky. I'd feel like I win in life." Denji turned to you as you both walk out, he notice the amount of notebooks you have in your arms as he lend a hand to help you carry them.

But he noticed the name written in front, he can't help but wonder.

"Will you be sending this to the faculty or something? None of these are yours." He mentions, you quickly shook your head but you had no idea what to tell to Denji, you didn't even dare to think you'd tell him the truth.

You heard Yoshida calling out to the two of you, panting as he manage to escape a group of his fangirls.

"Let's go, I don't need more girls around me." The three of you ran off the voices died down, Denji walks home as Yoshida insisted walking you home.

Just as you reach to your place you were quick to bid Yoshida farewell. But he suddenly reaches out to your hand.

"Can you help me in some classes, I don't really want to be left behind plus asking Denji about school is the last thing I'll do since you saw him snoring throughout the day." You giggled as you nodded.

"Great, my place or yours?" You froze, replying 'what'

He suddenly blushed too, since the question sounded a little bit different. "I mean, we can go to a park or library maybe some-"

"I'll meet you to your place instead. My brother tend to be loud since he always bring his friends over, it will only distract us." He nodded, agreeing as he let go his hold to your wrist.

"See you tomorrow." He waves off, just when you enter you mother who was evidently smiling like a mad woman.

"Was that a boyfriend?" She giggle like a teenage girl in love.

"No, he was just nice to walk me home."

"Yeah, definitely not a friend more like boyfriend." She continued to tease.

"You know that's how I end up with your father, eleven years of friendship only after college we got you. Maybe it could be the same with him." You were blushing, as you quickly make your way upstairs.

Days passed, exams were near then after that will be a Hanabi festival you were excited and half hoping that Yoshida would ask you out.

He has been the same since day one in school, he'd walk you home, share his overloaded brought lunch he'd even make you bento, he'd pick you as his partner that makes Denji feel left out but he'd only complain that he hasn't been able to pair up with you, he'd end up getting paired by another student, Denji only likes school for food. Maybe even seeing girls during PE classes, Yoshida would drag him away since he'd be seen as a pervert. Each day felt much different it only felt different since they came, maybe life was starting to much better and that's how you want it to be even when they are the only friends you have you wouldn't dare ask for more.

Maybe you do, because it has only been days that you started to develop feelings for Yoshida. Even if girls swarmed him to no end they had no idea how he really is and you don't even dare tell them everything, you know where he lives, what his personality is like and even watched his favorite movie, he's a good cook and he makes little letters just for you encouraging to always smile.

Today you happily arrived at school, wearing you new ribbon you added light makeup and even sprayed on perfume. You don't care if girls start to push you down as a hobby you did this for Yoshida and for yourself to feel prettier.

Just as you arrived you saw it clear as day. Mina who was sitting on your table, Yoshida was happily chatting with her they were immersed in the conversation they were having. Denji who remained silent and asleep on his table, your heart shatters seeing Yoshida with the girl you hate your whole life every bit of fiber in you wants to end her and you can but you just don't want to be labelled as a killer.

" [Name]!" Your eyes met Yoshida's as he waves at you with that perfect smile, Mina did the same as if pushing you off the bridge never happened. Your body remembers the fear, the feeling and the time you were hospitalized for almost a week.

Mina quickly stood from her seat, jogging towards you as she gave you a tight hug.

"We finally meet again." She whispers to you, pulling away as she giggles. She hook her arm around yours as she tells Yoshida that you and her have been great friends but since you moved out she hasn't been able to contact you.

She kept telling so many stories about you and her, but you didn't got the nerve to stop her, she was spewing lies over lies you only stood there like a fool with lips trembling as you clenching you fist tighter each second with your nails digging deeper in your palms would leave crescent marks.

"We lost contact when she tried to end her life, we tried stopping her but [name] has always had tough life. I miss her though, she was quite handful back then." Mina crosses her legs as she bats her eyelashes, smiling every now and then.

"I see, I never knew about that. I find her incredibly amazing besides we've been seeing each other every now and then." You could hear Mina's irritation, gritting her teeth as she peers over her shoulder to look at you.

"She has no idea how lucky she is." Mina smiles at you, the day went on. Just after class you ignored Denji who doesn't even deserve the cold treatment as well but you were trying to avoid Yoshida, taking bigger steps just when you bumped into Mina and her gang, smirk painted her red lips.

You fell off landing on your butt, Mina reached out her hand causing you to flinch and back away.

But she was quick to grab a handful of your hair, as she pulls it upwards making you wince grabbing her wrist as you plead her to let go.

"No, I just want to know how the hell is this piece of trash still alive." Mina was a mad woman, but she has no idea no one does, you can't die and you won't be because that was the deal with the koi devil, live your life until you die of old age even if you get hit, beaten or bleed out the koi devil always gives you chances to be alive over and over again.

But you won't forget one thing she mentions.

"If you want power, just call out I'll help you finish those disgusting human, but just so you know I love haunting for men."

That day they dragged you by the hair to a empty room, Mina kept hitting you while others laugh, some of which helped Mina giving her a plank of wood or they threatened to burn you.

It was endless and it was painful, you just wish maybe taking the deal wasn't a bright idea. Maybe it was better if you just never live again but you would be so selfish to lave you family.

But this time instead of thinking about them you thought of Yoshida, his smile, his voice the way he looks at you with much care and sincerity it almost felt like heaven, almost because it would be whole if you finally got a kiss from him.

He makes you want to start life all over again, he was the reason why you want to be happy again. He gives comfort even in times he might have no idea you'd need it. Days were you spent inside his apartment, it was only new to you that he was the only one who treats you different even Denji.

It felt nice to be noticed.

Mina kicked your rib causing you to groan, blood coming out of your lips. They left you alone but Mina hasn't moved from her spot. She crouched down with her hand squeezing both of your cheeks making you look at her.

"Hey, Yoshida's mine." She left the silent became loud.

You couldn't move your body, you manage to roll to your side laying on your stomach but you kept coughing and moaning in pain.

Before you know it you started to lose your vision but you swore you heard someone calling you just then you passed out in the cold.

It has been another day you laid in the hospital, Denji came in with an old man with him who claims that he was Denji's guardian. Denji made chocolates and bought flowers even tons of balloons, it made you laugh but you winced since your ribs were broken.

Denji pleads to you to tell him who hurt you but you simply shook your head telling him your alright.

You would hear Yoshida's voice right outside the room asking your parents how you were, they find Yoshida as a friend of yours they were relieved to finally met one of your friends but your father wasn't fond of the idea that it had to be a man, but nonetheless your mother accepted it.

You'd pretend you were asleep when he comes in to your room, you'd hear him carefully carry a chair and sit beside the bed, that was the only time you felt him hold your hand.

It was warm and it made you feel something you can't quite explain.

Even though you were just pretending to fall asleep you wouldn't realize you were drifting off to you dreamland.

But you heard him say, "I'll never let you go, you know I can't your the only one I have left."

The day of examination came, your parents talk to the principal if you can take the exams in the hospital instead since you were still healing, they agreed but your homeroom teacher had to be present that time, it was only the first time she ever showed concern on her stoic face.

Counting down the days it was only three days away from Hanabi festival. You arrived home and your younger brother quickly jumps off to his feet giving you a hug.

Your mother scolded him to be careful, at dinner they were talking about moving out and finding a new place to stay, your father would find another job and you brother promise that when he get bigger and older he'd protect you. It was suppose to make you happy but you didn't feel anything.

It only made you feel worse, they sacrifice their lives to move out, another job, another new school, a so-called new life?

No matter how many money they earn, no matter how many times they say to move out to another home, you just felt like your life was meant to be this way and they had no idea that their daughter made a deal wit the devil.

You ran upstairs, locking you room door as you sobbed covering your face with your pillow. What felt like forever, you were staring off at the ceiling.

"Koi." You whispered.

Suddenly the room became darker and darker, it started to get cold as the candle lantern started flickering.

"You finally summoned me." A sultry voice echoed inside your room.

"I want you to fully come to me, I'll feed you my blood anytime you want." The devil snickered. She wore a rouge off shoulder kimono, her hair softly floating around her back as he left hand holds a long smoking pipe with gray smoke coming out of her crimson lips.

"I just need you to do what you want to do, I don't need your blood just find me a man to eat and stop being this pathetic. You know I saw something in you when I made that deal, I need my sacrifice!" You flinched at the last part, you fed her devils that made her disgusted with taste, she'd bathe in blood to make her young and glowing, her koi fishes swarmed around mid air as she looks stern right in front of you, her chest heaving as she lets out a disappointed noise.

Sitting down to your bed, she crosses her long arms.

"Kill them for my satisfaction even if it's a woman I'll bathe in her blood, but don't you think I can you ogling over this boy. Sadly I can't eat him." She pouted, you looked at her with your brows knitted close.

"How come?" That's when she smirk reaching to her eyes.

"Denji is a chainsaw devil, he smells delicious but I'm not after him but the boy you like also is a devil hunter. Just like you he has a deal with a devil." She stood up making her way towards you as she brush her pointy fingers on you face.

"It's simple, just come up to him that's all." She left and the room became bright, you felt your brother shaking you from your dreams.

You quickly opened you eyes and sat up, your brother was worried. You opened your arms as he gives in to give you a hug.

"I thought you were having a bad dream, so I had to wake you up." His words caused you to smiled, hugging him tight as he bid goodnight.

As he left only seconds later your phone ringed, it showed Yoshida's name on your call screen.

You picked it up, he asked you to look right outside the window. There he waved with both his arms as he looked happy and relieved to see you.

Maybe just this time again, take some risk then later on you can do what your devil wishes you to do.

It was around midnight, Yoshida drove you around you just wanted his moment to last forever, he took you to his place as he promise to cook late night dinner he even stole few alcohol from Kishibe, he was surprise he hasn't realize it just yet.

As you both moved the food to the coffee table, he turned on the movie as you slurp your noodles.

Everything was going quite well, that's until half of the second bottle was finished, the first bottle was now being used to spin, you exchanged questions as he listened to every detail.

He sat beside you on the floor, he was pretty close the distance was non existent.

Slowly by slowly, his hands move a strand of hair but his eyes stared to yours as he moves closer with his hand cupping you face.

His lips met yours, soft and hungry, and he took the kiss with the tenderness of a promise.

Your body moving on top of him as you straddle him, his hands resting on your waist as the kiss started to get more intense.

You started to unbutton your top while his hand snake down to your legs, his hands resting on your thighs made you feel warm. He moves to kiss your neck, light whimpers coming out of your lips only ignites Yoshida to keep going.

He pulls you down to his crotch, your underwear would be wet by now and he would feel it too. You moved as you humped on him, he groans throwing his head back.

You move your hands feeling his body underneath his white shirt, you kept moving and moving until you feel something coming down to you.

"Keep going doll." His lips was close to your ear, each grunt and pant of his breath was just making you even wetter.

Suddenly a knock came, causing you both to stop.

"Hey! I got snacks, I couldn't sleep neither can Nayuta." It was Denji, Yoshida groaned. You carefully went off him, you turned away but Yoshida was quick to move.

He had both his hands on your waist pulling you into a long kiss. Before he rest his forehead on yours.

"What are you doing to me?" He whispers, his eyes meeting yours only causing you to melt.

You fixed your clothes and hid the bottles away, you tied your hair into a bun. Yoshida quickly puts on a sweater since he still had a evident bulge on his pants.

He opens the door a grumpy looking Denji comes into view with a girl hiding behind him, "you took forever to open the damn door." Denji comes in as he notice you were here, his frown instantly turned into a smile as he became a puppy towards you.

You met Nayuta and they had to explain who she was but Denji just metions that she was his younger sister.

The day went the same however your mother allowed you to skip school, she started to speculate something might be stressing out out perhaps your classmates or the school, she couldn't stop thinking what it could be but you reassured her that you were alright.

You jumped happily, you waited for Yoshida to ask you if you wanted to go see the fireworks.

It was around one thirty, your mother came knocking to your room telling you there was a boy who was wanting to see you. You happily jogged down the stairs, passing by your brother whose face was smudge in chocolate.

You opened the door, suddenly your smile turn downward. It was Denji who was leaning by the cement wall, he noticed you as he idly waves.

"Schools boring without you." Denji says making you giggled. You tried to hide your disappointment that it wasn't Yoshida.

"I'm actually here to ask you if you want to see the fireworks with me, Yoshida went out to ask Mina." Your heart sank on the ground. Did people really see you as nothing. Not even a human, not close?

You swore you heard the koi devil's laughter, it made you slightly uneasy. But rejecting Denji wasn't your choice you just simply agreed.

You went back in as Denji bids goodbye, he promise to pick you up early. You head back in your father was going to be late as the three of you have dinner.

You told your mother you have a date tomorrow, she was quick to her feet finding the perfect Yukata for you to wear.

She laid everything out for you, you wish you just as excited as her but you tried to cheer yourself up, Denji was nice enough to ask you why can't you just be grateful?

That night, you had nightmares it was throwing you back into the past, everything started to haunt you down again it was even difficult to wake up you could hear Mina and the others. You woke up with tears in your eyes, you sat up pushing your legs close to your chest as you let a sob out.

The morning came as your grandparents bought Wagashi and Mochi since it was you and your youngers brother's favorite snacks, your mother made tea as your father hugs her mother but he got scolding since we haven't visited them in awhile.

Later on that day your grandmother and mother helped you put on your Yukata, your grandmother even gave you a hairpiece she keeps that has been passed down since Teisho era. It was covered in gold, emerald and tiny diamonds.

The family were amazed by how you look, you turned to the mirror you thought you started to look like the koi devil herself, maybe she was becoming fully with you. The long silky dark hair, pale skin and eyes like cat, instead of feeling fear you were feeling over confident and powerful.

They can't see the koi symbol on your left chest, you lightly rubbed it you felt pleasure like how it was nights ago when you made out with Yoshida, your eyes falling back to the mirror you saw the koi devil smirking at you.

You read her lips, suddenly the doorbell rings.

Your father answered it, he wasn't please to see a boy, and that boy was Denji.

He wore a navy colored yukata with black sandals. You bid your family goodbye's but your father had a stern look on Denji which made the poor boy uncomfortable.

He points to Denji, "No touching, no kissing, no cooties and I'm not hearing any objections." He received a slap on his chest from his wife.

"Ignore your old man, have fun you two!" She waves off as your brother just wave as well while eating mochi.

You two walked around stall to stall, trying games and buying food. Denji was enjoying himself but you were looking around the crowd trying to find Yoshida, Denji tugged your sleeve as he points to another game stall.

It was stall that has ropes above, you have to pull which ever rope to get a price. Denji was drooling over the ninetendo but he also wants the stuff toy and even the large sack of rice crackers.

In the end he got a bag of fluffly heart shaped marshmallows, he offered you some as you finished the whole bag of strawberry filled jelly marshmallows. Darkness was about to envelope the sky after the hues of orange, red and gold strikes of the sunset was gone in a matter of minutes. The host was announcing that the firework show will be starting in thirty minutes.

You were still unable to find Yoshida, you were starting to doubt he'd ever come.

You sat down waiting for Denji as he was buying yakisoba and hot green tea.

You removed your sandals, glancing back down to your phone he hasn't even called you today.

"I'm back." Denji hands you the warm yakisoba and a hot bottled green tea. You thanked him as you ate for the millionth time today.

Fifteen second before the firework begin your phone started to ring, you excused yourself.

You picked up the call it was Yoshida, you started to feel as if you were in the clouds.

"Yoshida, where are you?" You asked but he answered with a flat voice.

"Meet me at the parking lot, don't bring anyone with you." The phone call dropped, you look back to Denji he was busy eating his fifth cotton candy. You swear he eats so much you wonder if he ever gets full.

You walked towards the parking lot, there you saw Yoshida's back facing you there wasn't much cars parked around the area but it had the best view seeing the festival from up here the lights and people crowding around you had no idea it was much better to look from here.

Yoshida turns to you but he had blood stains on his clothes.

"I missed you, three days without you feels more than a torture." He opens his arms for you to take but you couldn't move to your spot.

"Y-Yoshida... You're clothes are-." You shakily pointed at him.

He looks down as if it was a normal thing, then you remembered what the koi devil said.

"That boy you like, is just like you made a deal with a devil."

You covered your lips, you started to shake like a leaf.

"This isn't mine, but you know what I want to hear from you instead?" He chuckles, pushing his hair back before he turns his gaze back on you.

"It's from Mina, that psycho freak thinks she owns the whole world in her hand, I saw everything even that time she killed you, yeah, I exposed her and her precious family now their on the brink of death. I like it, even when she begged me to save her, I killed the same way she tried to kill, I wanted to torture her more but I can't let my baby wait for me much longer no?" He started to move closer but you didn't backed away.

"Next was her friends." He pulls out a knife from his pocket, swirling it with his index finger.

"I. haunt. each. and. every. one. of. her sluts." He giggled.

"You didn't know but she slept with all of her friends, she's the nasty little whore here not you, you are my precious angel what you do to me makes me crave you more and more everyday it just gets stronger. Next was our homeroom teacher, yeah, you had no idea but she had slept with Mina's father little bitch thinks she can change her life by becoming the new wife guess what per request she must not show concern that day she was there in the hospital when you had your exam I was the one who threatened her after that she begged like never before." He wipes off the blood from the knife with his sleeve.

"I killed her, nice and clean then dumped her body beside Mina's precious father, he dead too because he dares hurt my baby that's unforgiveable to me."

Just the the first firework explodes in the air, the red color shone you see it clearer that he was covered from head to toe and he look like a maniac.

"Lastly was Himari, I fed her to my devil. I knew you have one too it makes me happy that this way we won't be too strangers with one another. I know that koi symbol you have." He points with his index finger as you backed away.

Moving and moving as he only comes closer and you can't help it, you can't move it almost feels like something holding you down.

As a large stone wall met your back Yoshida was quick to block your side trying to escape him.

"I'll always keep my promise, you're mine after all." He uses the knife to cute your front he tugs down on your left sleeve to reveal the symbol.

"We're powerful that they'll ever know."

fics ♡

fired / hayakawa aki x reader

word count: 16.9k

tags: 18+, smut, office sex, smoking, drunk flirting, blowjob, fingering, power imbalance, spit kink, teasing & dirty talk, dom aki but he lowkey a switch, suit kink...?

summary: Aki never thought he'd find himself falling for a subordinate, but stranger things happen when you're a devil hunter. At least being the boss has its perks.

a little death / hayakawa aki x reader

word count: 20.6k

tags: 18+, smut, angst, smoking, love confessing, that one trope where they step in front to protect you, tending to wounds, hand job, finger sucking, aki is touch-starved and needy as hell

summary: You meant everything to him, and Aki promised to keep you safe, even if it meant dying for you.

cherry waves / hayakawa aki x reader

word count: 6.1k

tags: 18+, smut, fluff, fingering, cunnilingus, tender sex, overstimulation, dirty talk, smoking, established relationship, lots and lots of i love you's, soft dom aki

summary: Aki is undeniably, wholeheartedly in love with you, and there's nowhere he tells you he loves you more than right here, in his bed, when you're under him.

arrival in tokyo / hayakawa aki x reader

word count: 23.2k

tags: 18+, smut, exhibitionism (aki fucks you in an alleyway), light degradation, praise, pain play (aki puts his cigarette out on you), begging & teasing, face-fucking, thigh-fucking, spit kink, fingering, choking, 1 (one) spanking, pet names (good girl, baby, etc.), aki is a bit of an ass, he punches you in the face once

summary: Aki has found you insufferable from the moment you were paired up together. It's bad enough that they're forcing him to work with a damn devil, but you happen to be the most disobedient, irritating devil he's ever met. You seem to have quite the attitude, and brats like you ought to be put in their place.

drabbles ♡

softcore / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, fluff, established relationship

rosemary / hayakawa aki x fem!reader, 18+, smut, handjob, overstimulation, edging, sub aki

indirect kiss / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, fluff, suggestive, aki shares his lollipop with you

the end, the end, the end / hayakawa aki x gn! reader, spoilers, angst, hurt no comfort, mild sexual content

kiss / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, fluff, just giving aki lots of kisses

high to death / hayakawa aki x gn!reader, angst, tender sex, established relationship

headcanons ♡

new message !! / the texts they send you when you're away, includes: aki, denji, & yoshida

miscellaneous ♡

one / aki, who comes home from work really late and utterly exhausted...

two / hayakawa aki drives you home when it rains...

planning a Luke Pearce fanfiction. emphasis on "planning" because it may not happen.

Better than you could aspire to be - Tighnari

Angst time! This is an isekai, not as long as I feared it would be. Tighnari is the one that goes into a different world, it'll make sense. Gender neutral reader, sad ending

Tighnari worked in a fast food place in his own world. See, he was a student, and the only place that would willingly take students were such places. He grew to hate this more intensely as he continued to work, somehow keeping up with his studies in botany. The smell of the food that smelled so unappetising after working around the food items for so long, the fact he had to scrub his ears to get food out that had been thrown by a rude customer, and on top of that he had people constantly pointing phones into his face and gushing over his 'cute ears'. He found himself daydreaming the day he could finally stop working in this hellhole, where he could finally enjoy his work in a field he loved.

City noises were excessive as well, the transport to his university not helping with anything apart from getting him from point a to b. Again, he knew people were taking pictures of his ears and shamelessly talking about how big they were. Some people said it must be a cosmetic, others saying that he was compensating for something else. Truthfully, he grew to despise them. The way people had no shame, the way some people even had the audacity to touch them without asking.

One day, he finished a particularly heavy shift, and he flopped onto the bed without even having the energy to stay awake. In his uniform, he tries to remind himself to change once he wakes up.

--

The next day, he wakes up in an unfamiliar forest. The flora around him didn't look familiar, the strange statue that loomed above and various other contraptions he was clueless about. He goes to check his phone, only to sigh when he realises that his phone was dead.

You hear the man call out, waking you up early, and you decide to go out to investigate. Looking over, you see a man in a strange uniform you never saw before. Sure, you usually stay in the forest, but you saw a lot of outfits on those who got lost in the forest and this was nothing like that. Walking down, you wave at the man, who looks up from the device in his hands.

"Hello! Are you lost?" You ask, seeing the man nod. "You are currently in Ghandara ville."

"Where is that?" The man asks. "I've never heard of that place."

"Sumeru? Teyvat?" You ask, the man in front of you only growing more confused. Looking down, you see he keeps glancing at the thing in his hands. "What's that?" You ask, genuinely curious.

"Oh, this is my phone. Do you have a charger handy?" The man asks, only to look more defeated when you explain you don't have one, nor do you understand what the phone was. "I'm from _, I work in McDonalds." The man explains, only to see you now confused.

"Well, I'm sure we'll figure out something!" You exclaim, hoping to cheer the man up. I am _, head forest ranger." You introduce yourself.

"Tighnari, Botany student and fast food worker." The man introduces himself.

You nod, taking interest in him stating he was a botany student where he was from.

"Well, if you'd like I can get in touch with a good friend of mine to get you into a botany course!" You start, before continuing."And you can stay here and work as a forest ranger!"

You expect Tighnari to go against the idea of being a forest ranger in an unfamiliar place, and he does hesitate for a second, but he decides to nod. Of course, you agree to train him up, and you show him to the room you were in before moving your stuff to someone else's room to stay with them.

Everyone meets Tighnari, who seems nervous for some reason. Thankfully, everyone was welcoming, saying he was sure to enjoy working as a forest ranger full time before they head off for their routes after you assign this to everyone.

--

"Please, he's really lost!" You ask, Cyno looking at you as you continue to beg him for the chance to let Tighnari into a botany course despite having no prior qualifications. "I think he's gonna be a good match for the course!"

"And how can you be so certain of this?" Cyno asks, not convinced. "Let's say he gets too attached to the world he isn't used to, as long as he wasn't lying. What happens if he wakes up back in his own world, only to miss the feeling of this one?"

"I'm sure he could adapt! He's adapted well to this one, and there's no harm in letting him in the course. Give him a shot, and if he isn't good enough then I'm fine with just taking him in as a forest ranger." You continue, Cyno closing his eyes. He knew you only spoke like this when your mind could not be changed, no matter how long the conversation lasted

"...Fine." Cyno finally lets out.

--

You work with Tighnari, and over time he gets adept with a bow. So, you decide to test him on his accuracy. To your relief, it appears he seemed to pick it up rather well, and you don't fully believe him when he claims he never used a bow before.

Turns out he was really good with his course work as well. You saw him work with his books often, even assisting other people with their own courses and keeping on top of his coursework.

The forest rangers really liked his company, and over time they grew more confident with their compliments to him.

"You're so good with that bow!"

"It's admirable how quickly you've been able to pick up these skills."

"Your medicine is better than what the head ranger does! Oh, no offence, _!"

"If _ isn't careful, you're gonna be taking the leadership role here!"

At first, you enjoyed seeing him gain confidence with these comments, but some of them really stung. You knew that while you were liked, people deemed Tighnari to be objectively better for the role of head ranger. He was doing really well with his studies, he was able to help people and keep his grades up, and on top of that he still had his spare time. You barely were able to keep up with all the withering zones, every time you turned your back one would materialise and make itself known to another ranger, and you'd have to take it on.

That was until Tighnari proved he was better with clearing these withering zones than you.

It felt like he was trying to make you feel awful for your lack of competency in your work, but he was incredibly friendly. You knew he was only trying to help, and that's what kept you from just giving up and giving him the position. So, you keep reminding yourself that these pointers you've been giving to Tighnari have helped him, and you were the one who got him onto that course.

--

Cyno sends you a letter, stating it was urgent. When you let everyone know you had to visit someone, you see them brush it off before they turn back to Tighnari. You don't spare a second glance, heading off as you hear someone talk about a dendro vision. As much as you wanted to talk, when Cyno required you it was never ideal.

--

Cyno looks particularly unnerved as he gazes at this portal in front of him. Turning, he spots you, and he waves you over.

"This is what I was warning you about." He explains. "This is Tighnaris world. I would have sent you with Tighnari himself, however that won't be ide." He explains, sighing out.

"Huh? But why is that a problem?" You ask, tilting your head.

"Since Tighnari obtained a vision, sending him back to his world would be less than ideal." Cyno states. "We need to send someone in his place. Or else, this portal won't go. He continues, looking over at you.

The look in his eyes is all you need to know.

"Oh man..." You huff out. "I have to go, don't I?"

Cynos eyes widen, shaking his head.

"Not necessarily, all we need is a non vision wielder." He begins. "We could send one of-"

"I'll go." You nod, Cyno opening his mouth as he tries to speak. "I was the one that worked so hard to keep him here, so I see it as fair."

You were also very insecure over Tighnari being classed as better than you in every way, but you don't dare tell Cyno this.

"...I'll miss you, you know." Cyno admits, a sad smile as he realises you were going to go even if he advocated against this. "Is there any way I can convince you-"

You shake your head, stopping Cyno.

"The feeling is returned." You admit.

Before you walk through the portal, taking Tighnaris place in his world, you give your best friend one long hug.

Mercy ✤ Xiao

A/N: After months, finally, another platonic angst lands. Are you dearies prepared? :")) Onwards!

✤ Mentions of death, violence, and blood

"Text in this format is a dialogue in flashback."

Words: 11k

Memories.

Oh, the significance they hold.

They say a moment should always be treasured—for that transient second can only be relived once… until it is but a part of the past.

To the unaging, these moments are treasures. Locked away and kept safe in a chamber full of many a different fortune.

To the ‘immortals’, these are but scenes that constitutes only a small percentage of their eternity. They are bound to be remembered, never to be forgotten.

There is beauty in remembering, though.

After all, aren’t happy times meant to be reminisced over in the first place?

Ah… but there also exists, in the parallelism of yin and yang; dark and light, good and evil.

Sanctuary and prison.

Comfort and torment.

Joy and misery.

“Brother,” you call him. Gentle, thoughtful.

Throughout the thousands of years, you have grown to be shrewdly cognizant of these mirrors—these parallels. The warm color of golden irises belies the coldness they hold within as he turns, begrudged.

Unwilling. Almost disdainful.

Unbefitting for someone bound with you by blood.

Ah, these parallels.

“What do you want?” he answers you. Guarded and apathetic.

It looks like you won’t be able to share a meal with him again. You’ll have to try again… later.

How can you not be aware of them?

You smile bitterly, “… Nothing.”

His scowl deepens, “Then leave me be.”

When you both exist as each other’s opposites?

It has been like this ever since the day you have opened your eyes to meet those of his; a pretty gold, warm yet guarded. You don’t share any similar features with him, only the same ichor that runs within.

You can’t say that you’re both particularly close to start with, because you’re not. There is always some sort of rift that divides the plane you’re both standing on, frozen and unmoving.

Still, in spite of the distance between you, animosity never exists.

You can never hate your own kin and based on the junctures when he’s gruffly ascertaining your physique after a nasty fight, he doesn’t hate you, either [right?]

That’s a good thing, no?

From the moment you learned how to fly and balance yourself in the air, he’s been more attentive, almost proud—but you’re not sure. All you can remember is the time he looked so happy.

But that had been millenniums ago and he never really solidified whether he was elated over your self-taught flight or not.

For Xiao never speaks out on his feelings, so you do the same, thinking that it’d only be bothersome and you’d hate to subject trivial things unto him. Not when he’s done so much for you.

“Why are you still here?” the entrance of his voice yanks you from your headspace and you flinch, seeing him glower at you. “And why have you transformed and left your cage?”

He sounds particularly brusque, on the fine line of snapping with aggro. You cannot avoid the second flinch, aware that he doesn’t take kindly when rules meant to keep you safe are broken.

All endeavors to retrieve the courage you’ve brought are successful and you sigh. “I just… well, you’ve been out here for so long.”

I miss you.

Is what you’re trying to say—but you don’t, because he doesn’t like things like that.

All platonic sorts of advances such as mere hugs and touches are avoided and dismissed as a nuisance. He’s always been indifferent to those, but after the War… he’s just become completely against it.

Besides, the two of you aren’t that close to begin with, but after the cataclysm and almost being put in a state of incapacitation, his presence grew more.

How can you not feel as though he’s home, itself?

Xiao’s stare becomes sterner, as though he can’t believe the words spilling from your lips. “Naturally, this is my duty; to protect and remain vigilant. Respites contradict that.”

You swallow thickly, a little peeved that he’s still spouting things about the contract and his duty to Liyue as if the rise of the Liyue Qixing didn’t nullify his contract binding him to Morax.

“Rex Lapis is gone,” you do not stop even when his gaze becomes dangerous, “He has terminated the contracts that bound the Adepti to protect Liyue for its citizens have grown stronger.”

He finally turns your way, and you would’ve been elated that you have gotten his whole attention if not for the ugly cause of it. “I do this out of my own volition.”

“And you don’t think to just… rest? For a while? Liyue can last a day without your watchful eye.” When he directs his sight elsewhere without an answer, you grumble, letting disbelief and annoyance cloud your rationality.

“Everything doesn’t have to be Liyue or that stupid contract—”

It happens in a blink of an eye.

“Watch your tongue.” There’s a huge gust of wind that blows your way with a snappy turn of his head towards your direction and the glow of his eyes have gotten menacing.

“Until this day, I continue to do my duty as reverence to the Archon who saved us. Have you forgotten?”

To this, you fall silent, nibbling on your lips, agitated.

For the record, you haven’t forgotten. How could you?

“He’s the same Archon who showed you mercy and you think to belittle his only remuneration for it?” Xiao all but hisses through gritted teeth, appearing beyond pressed at the implication of the contract being nothing but a nugatory matter worth turning over.

You observe the way his fingers twitch, restrained from clenching into fists in an obvious way to quell his growing anger. That’s right, he’s always so miffed whenever someone talks about the Archon.

An understandable thing, really—but can’t he see where you’re coming from?

You only wanted his time, too.

So even if shame prickles your chest—because the mercy Morax has shown you is not a simple thing and you should be grateful, which you are—you stand your ground.

“I served him, too.” You manage to say through the exacerbating cloud of exhaustion within. “In case you’ve forgotten, brother, I am an Adeptus. I fought for him, too!”

You do not remember much of the fighting, but you do know that you fought for Morax’s side eventually.

Breath starting to hitch and falter, you pause, your shaky hand clinging onto the wooden railings of the balcony to keep yourself upright.

The telling signs of deterioration and death are enough to prompt you to transform into your avian form and rest in the gilded cage, but you don’t.

Not yet.

You exhale, “Was that not enough?”

If your brother has gotten alarmed of your state, then you don’t know—your eyesight is already blurring.

“It never was.” Is his response, cold.

You feel your heart dropping—but deep down, you know that it’s true.

It’s far from being enough.

“After obtaining power that you used to smite the helpless and the dreamless, did you think your measly centuries-long service was enough after he saved you?”

Trapped in the usual harrowing haze brought by the repercussions of that mentioned power, you can feel it starting to pick away at your mind again.

It drapes you over in its shadow of death, and you feel yourself losing, but-

“I—”

“Stop being selfish, [Name].” just seeing him walk away—marking the end of another imbroglio—reawakens the fire in your chest. Providing sufficient fortitude for you to exclaim in retaliation.

“I did it for the both of us!” he pauses in place.

Your head splits at the sudden rise of your volume, unused to the chaos like you were centuries past. It almost sends you fainting, but despite your wobbling legs, you stay standing.

His attention once more grasped in the transience of a second, you say again, this time with a voice as feeble as a sickly child.

“… I did it for you, brother.”

Though it ended up being useless.

He doesn’t turn around, even when you are at your most vulnerable; showing a side you haven’t shown to anyone, not even him, until now.

You believe you’ve gotten to him, you believe it has done an impact—that he’ll stay for once.

“I didn’t ask for you to do it.”

But of course, he won’t.

His frigid response, dipped with potent insouciance, almost sends you to your knees in defeat and loss. How can he sound so uncaring? How can he… not care?

Do you really mean so little? Compared to his duties? That he can’t even spare a day?

Xiao begins to vanish in black and turquoise wisps, signs of his teleportation skill at use, and you all but crumble at the sight.

Even with the hazardous threat of total decay, you step forward, wanting to reach out to him but you don’t let go of the railings.

If you do, you will fall. And you have a feeling that he won’t catch you if he did.

“I’ll join you.” Your weak insistence makes him scoff.

“If this is your way of redeeming yourself, then it’s ridiculous.”

His words stab through you like the repercussions of the power you greedily sought for a long time ago. Only, his hurts more—for his cuts through the fiber of your very existence and burns the blood you share with him.

Without looking back at you, he declares.

“You’re now nothing more but a carapace of the warrior you’ve been. You’ve gotten weak, you’re not meant for anything in the battlefield.”

The battlefield; the only place you could have shown your worth and aid. The only place where you can help. But not now, not ever.

Unable to find both the strength and voice to muster a reply, you remain wordless, too busy trying to regain your breathing. Cold sweat runs down the expanse of your temple, dripping down your chin and onto the floorboards that are starting to swarm with black and cyan.

“Leave.” comes his command. “You’re just being absurd, straining yourself this way.”

The balcony gets colder, telling of the lack of his presence. His presence that, albeit perceived as cold, has a vestige of warmth. A trace of who he had been, millenniums ago.

At his disappearance, you allow yourself to succumb to the weakness, dropping to your knees and leaving the form of a human.

It is beyond exhausting to stay in that physique, a vessel often used to fight.

You don’t know what compelled you to appear to him in it—maybe it’s because it’s how you’re usually around him back then? Back when you were untarnished by the corruption of a power so malefic? You don’t know.

The glow of [c] dies down and the world has gotten bigger, as expected given your small avian shape. Decay’s prognosis is thwarted and slow, as it’s always been whenever you take up on your original form.

Your human vessel speeds it up, hence its limited usage.

Aside from approaching your brother today, you can’t remember the last time you’ve been human.

You mean humane, whispers the demon in your head.

A phantasmagoric devil, a remnant of the god you foolishly served. Thinking about her just makes your insides churn.

Dispelling the delusory fiend, you take flight, heading towards the lower and vaster balcony, right at the level where the front desk and Verr is.

Facing the view of Liyue, near the threshold to the interior, hanging by the beams is a cage embellished in gold.

Its elaborate decoration often attracts people, awed at the décor and the little [c] bird inside. You do not mind them, for you are asleep most of the time. They marvel over the intricacy of the aureate cadre, unaware of the salubrious and restorative enchantments set upon the container itself.

Entering the cage with ease, you drop onto soft [c] padding blanketed with mounds of fabric that mimics a bed. Immediately, inside the enclosure, the exhaustion and threat of staying outside is ceased—and serenity fills your whole being.

It’s peaceful, you denote as you’re slowly being brought to a slumber. However, even with the comfort brought by the golden jail, your heart thrums with unease.

Your mind paints the image of your dear brother.

There is a reason why you stay locked up in it, despite it being an actual representation of both a prison and a sanctuary.

You fall asleep with a tear slipping from your closed eye.

It delays the indemnifying declension that was born out of a past desire.

“Lower your stance a little more, feet square on the ground. They direct your movements.”

Kicking his polearm into his grip, he mimics your stance and, with a swift revolve on the terrain, his feet skid with finesse. It sets the foundation of his next course of action, dragging his body to twist with spruce and power at the same time.

You watch it, astounded.

Your awe comes out in a prolonged ‘oh’, succeeded by silent yet rapid claps.

Alatus huffs at it and he looks more uncomfortable than thankful, but the tips of his ears are flushed cerise. He would’ve been teased a ton if you’re not aware of the fact that he dislikes it so much.

Add to that the reason that you aren’t that close to be actually teasing him…

Outside the intrinsic mutualism that acknowledges the other as kin, and outside the days where you both spend it training, your interests with him do not align. So, it’s often a little awkward, in the sense that it feels like you’re in an estranged bond.

Despite it, however, you want to be close to him. Your family.

Your attention is retrieved when you see your polearm being flung your way and you gasp, hurrying to catch it in your arms and—success! Oh, you don’t know what you’d do if you failed to catch your own weapon… the embarrassment.

Alatus nods at you with folded arms, situating himself above a rock a few paces away from his previous place.

“Go. Do it until you perfect it.”

“Eh?”

He means he’ll watch you train? Oh dear, well, all the more to give this your best shot!

Moving your extremities to the proper position you’ve been displayed with a moment ago, you breathe in deeply and clutch the polearm before swinging with a cry.

“Hah!”

You’ve been alive for a millennium, and for ages, you can only recall how you’ve been at your brother’s side and vice versa. The snippets of your childhood are forgotten in the mist within, only being able to reminisce about your first day of flight.

A flight that you shared with him. And that’s where your memory stops.

Throughout the years, you’re never at one place, either. Maybe it’s because of your avian nature—ironic, since you both venture the lands in human forms—but traveling the world comes as an innate purpose.

You enjoy the freedom, and you know your brother does, as well.

Just the simple thought of taking to the skies without anything to lag you by is cathartic, much more if you actually do spread your wings to embrace all that the wind has to offer.

And the skies, always tinctured a marvelous azure, is your home.

You can stare at it from below forever and observe the rolling clouds without ever getting bored. For when the firmament is stroked with the oranges of a sunset and the navy of a night, there is always a new story to tell.

A new chapter to begin with—a new day to look forward to.

Although you don’t fly that much anymore—choosing to walk the earth with your kin—you still look forward to the day you’ll scour it once more. And maybe you can even ask your brother to join you, preferably when you get the courage and stop being so awkward.

Fate has listened to you, it seems.

Because the day do arrive; when you fly in the sky with him. Only, you hoped the reason could’ve been different.

For when you flew, the sky was not a tranquil blue, but a portentous red.

“What was that?”

It’s the first thing you ask when he enters through the curtain of leaves isolating the interior of the cave—your temporary lodgings—from the outside world.

He doesn’t look injured but does appear roughened up like he’s gotten the privilege of being a safe witness to a slaughter.

You kind of don’t even want him to answer, your breath held in as you observe the way he tenses and relaxes, unsure what to do.

He looks uncertain himself—as if he can’t believe what he’s seen or heard. What he says next makes your skin turn pallid.

“War.” His answer is strained, “There’s a war.”

A war—a war.

So suddenly? When Teyvat was at peace all this time?

“We need to leave.” Alatus begins to pace around the cave, mumbling things to himself that you can’t catch. Seeing him this frantic only fuels your own dread.

You are just about to propose leaving that instant when he looks at you with a pointed stare. “I’ll search for routes that aren’t overtaken by battles and warriors. Pack whatever rations we have left.”

“What? That takes no more than a minute! Let me join you after—”

“No.” His tone gets stern, and if it isn’t for the plea in his eyes, you would’ve thought him callous. “Stay here, do you understand me?”

Torn, you nibble on your lip, aggravated at the dilemma.

All you know is that sending him off alone is a risk, even when maybe the war hasn’t reached this place yet. You want to argue with him further, but you also know that it will only use up time that could be spent ascertaining a route out of here.

Dropping your head in your hands, you expel a resigned sigh. “Please be quick.”

He doesn’t say anything, only moving past the drapes of leaves to start what he plans to do.

The moment he’s gone, you get to work, doing as you’re told and gathering whatever little rations you’ve acquired on your journey here. And as expected, it doesn’t take any longer than a minute or two.

By the time two tiny bags are set and prepared to be taken, you are still alone in the cave along with the light through the curtain that’s gradually beginning to decline.

It is sundown.

Soon, night will fall—the time where the dark begins to prey, and consequently, the witching hour when all who is attuned to their powers are stronger.

“Brother!”

Alatus stumbles into the cave, panting with his eyes seemingly unable to focus. His polearm is at the ready, clasped in a gloved hand that tremors every now and then.

He holds out a hand to stop you from touching him.

“Don’t,” he breathes once then lets his weapon vanish into gold dust. “I can take care of myself.”

Oh you don’t doubt that at all, but he’s looking as if he’s a painting of a red sea.

“You’re bleeding!”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

Your fusses are dismissed with a shake of his head. “This isn’t my blood.”

That halts you in place, the hand that is about to touch his shoulder pausing in midair. Then, tentatively, you rise your gaze, meeting a golden stare that still looks out of it. You curse, withdrawing your hand and apologizing.

He must still feel shaken up, you shouldn’t intrude his space.

“It’s fine,” Alatus says, voice low yet grim. “Let’s go, now.”

Where, exactly? You wanted to ask as he exits through the drape of leaves once more.

And can we even outrun a war?

You don’t know—you can’t say for sure.

There’s no telling whether there’s even a sanctuary to go to, but you kept your mouth shut, not risking the chance to upset your brother further.

He doesn’t need a burden, not when he’s already doing so much to look after the two of you.

The outside world lacks its usual serenity.

The greens have gotten dull, receptive to the damage being done on the terra. You’ve no doubt that someplace else, the pretty viridescent can no longer be distinguished underneath all the red.

Because of a war.

War. Just even thinking of it makes your skin crawl. You’re afraid.

War results to loss, there’s almost never a winning side—aren’t all victories pyrrhic? You don’t want to engage in one to find out.

The cold wind makes you shiver, fingers suddenly unable to remain still at the nipping fear in your heart. You do not feel good, you don’t feel good at all—it’s as if you are subconsciously aware of an omen.

You hope that whatever it may be, it won’t come your way.

But fate seems to be less merciful. Perhaps it’s because it deems your situation unfair; you are safely avoiding battle, whilst the others are falling left and right.

It dawns like the burning sun, fate’s punishment.

In your travels, eluding the imminence of war, creatures born of twilight have risen from the soil. Their woes and regrets that have morphed into mordant vice are bemoaned, reverbing in the night.

They are creatures you’ve both have no experience in fighting.

And they’re everywhere.

The both of you have successfully fought your way into escaping, but you are far from being unscathed. The gash on your side is huge, calling the need for rest—to hide.

Although a hiding spot has been found, that does not mean that you are entirely in the green light. For some reason, the creatures are prowling everywhere, on the chase for something—or someone—and will not rest upon retrieving it.

It is the sound of their growls that pushes your brother to leave again, much to your protests.

“You’re injured, too.” you insist but he does not budge, eyeing your nasty injury that doesn’t seem to heal no matter the number of days that have passed.

“If I don’t fight, they will find us,” states Alatus, the tone of his voice implying no room for persuasion nor arguments.

You almost claw your hair out as you rise to stand—only to be forcefully laid down again.

You all but raise your voice at it.

“You’re far injured than I am!” your voice stuns him to silence as you point at his body, littered with wounds of various sizes. “I know how to fight, let me go, instead.”

If only you wholeheartedly mean it—because you don’t. You’re afraid.

War—war scares you, and those creatures, they aren’t normal, they reek of evil. You do not want to suffer a fate under their claws, but you can’t just send your brother out there, either.

Alatus looks at himself, assessing the gravity of his injuries—then huffs, in amusement? You can’t tell.

“This is nothing to me.”

He says this, yet you can hear him grunting in the night after he returned bearing double the number of wounds on his figure, hissing from the obvious pain he thought he’d been discreet at hiding.

Is he forgetting who you are?

You may not be that close with him like how normal siblings are meant to be, but you are bound by blood.

You can feel yourself growing faint at the sight of him being so weak, putting himself responsible for the both of you. As if you couldn’t fight.  

No matter how much you tell him to switch, he always seems to have an extra reserve of power to shut you down and depart before you could. He leaves with the rise of each sun and returns when the moon is at its peak, when the shadows overcome the light and are present to mask his presence.

He’s hurting and you’re resonating with his pain. It hurts to see him leak blood.

Is the fighting that bad for him to come home half-dead every single night?

You must help him, you need to help him, what kind of sibling would you be if you don’t? You know how to fight and you’ll be putting that to good use.

But things are easier said than done.

Sparring is different from war, where blood is spilled without a second thought and no such thing as ‘time out’ exists.

Perhaps he’s aware that you’re actually terrified—because even if you can fight, you’re afraid, and it’s that fear that becomes your weakness. Renders you useless.

Maybe he knows that hence why even though he’s grunting in the night, he leaves to keep you safe.

You’re ashamed, you’re guilty, and you’re fearful-

“Brother…”

But nothing scared you the most when one night, Alatus comes inside the alcove barely conscious, looking like an exact picture of the time he came bearing news of war.

The only difference? He’s covered in his own blood.

Getting to work fast, you seize the remaining bandages—that he insisted you use for yourself—and do your best to clean his lacerations.

At some point, you have to sneak out and stealthily gather some water from the nearby pond whilst evading the eyes of those creatures.

They are endless.

Alatus is running a terrible fever that refused to go down even though the days have come and go, shivering even when you’ve thrown bundles of fabric that you’ve ransacked from empty camps.

His wounds are yet to heal, just like yours, the fair skin lost in an ugly shade of violet and yellow.

They aren’t normal at all, instead acting like hexes.

They are painful, but you’re sure as hell that your pain isn’t tantamount to the one your brother feels.

When he doesn’t wake up on the third month, you have learned to cry, shaking in place, away from the war, hidden in a cave where demise will eventually prowl at.

You are mad for a handful of reasons, but above all, you are so, so afraid.

There comes the first stroke of realization; you and Alatus, so, so different from one another.

Perhaps, if you have been as courageous as he, as vigilant and fortified—things could’ve been different. But no, you didn’t insist more, didn’t try to persuade him otherwise.

Look where that has led the two of you.

You can’t believe that it has to take him being in a vegetative state for you to be able to crawl out of that stupid cave and fight for him as he did for you.

You do not know why you were so struck with cowardice—is it because of death? Or the fear of letting him down?

Maybe because he’d think less of you as his kin if you fail, so you never tried?

You wish you had an answer, but it doesn’t arrive.

Even if you pierce your polearm in the chests of those twilight-borne creatures and watch them disperse into ash, you are not delighted with an answer to your fear.

Nor an answer to the remedy that will cure you and him of your supernaturalesque wounds.

Will you both really perish this way? Heavens, you pray not—there’s much to do.

You search for a cure, every day and every night, returning only to your brother’s side when you are too fatigued. You have managed to stay alive and awake, miraculously not falling prey to the enticing slumber that took your kin in its hold.

You hope for a remedy, hope for the day it’ll be discovered—but with each rising moon, your hope dwindles. Everything seems to be set in stone.

Death is the only thing that awaits the two of you at the end of the road.

“You want to help your brother, don’t you?”

Until she came along; your savior.

“What of it? It’s not like you can give me what I wish for.”

She has come to greet you in the middle of the battlefield when another fight has ended and you remain standing. A pyrrhic victory, for in the finale, demise will still come to greet you.

“Let us join forces, my dear. I will give you all that you need.”

She has your attention.

“It’s impossible.” You whisper, for you desire for plenty; for enough courage because until now you are afraid. For enough power so that you can protect your brother, too. “What are you to be able to do that?”

It is too good to be true—and you should’ve been wary, but she emanates such a sincere aura that wants to help.

And how can you deny such a tempting offer, still? How can you overlook the prospect of joining hands with an almighty—

“A god.”

With her—everything can be possible.

The relief you felt when she held your hand and your wounds vanished in an instant—she can cure Alatus, too…!—and the comfort of having a kind god… maybe…

“… Alright.”

“Very well.”

She smiles, raising her hand—so, so cold—to brush against your cheek, wisps of the power you desire being welcomed by your skin, seeping into your body and into your bloodstream.

Your eyes open to the feel of something brushing against your feathers, careful as though they’ll hurt you.

It’s still in the dead of night, but you know that sensation anywhere—that presence, the gentle hold you’ve gotten used to after having to live in a gilded cage.

Brother?

The small of your [c]s peer up, meeting a golden gaze. Xiao stops caressing your little form, the pad of his thumb that has brushed away a cold tear withdrawing.

You chirp, tiny beak reaching to peck his fingers—in an attempt to bring him back—that moves to leave the birdcage. Why does he retreat every single time?

As if pitying your endeavors, the Yaksha lets his hand stay for a bit longer, allowing you to snuggle in his cupped palm. His touch is always so comforting.

It is one that he barely does, so relish the few seconds of that blessing.

To your dismay, those seconds feel shorter than usual, because he’s drawing his hand back before you can even squeak and vanishing without so much as a goodbye. Your heart drops again.

But you should be used to this.

You should be thankful that he even holds your tiny form whenever he wishes to. But you want him nearby, you want to close the rift that separates you from him. You want to be closer.

He is your only family—and after that bit in the Chasm…. Oh, you don’t even want to think about it.

Pushing the door to the cage open, you stretch your wings out then flew, traveling a short yet exhausting distance to the upper balcony. Xiao already stands there, paying no mind to your arrival as though he has anticipated this.

“What do you want?” he asks as soon as the [c] light has faded and your human form has appeared once more.

His abrasiveness does not deter you—it is the sight of his flesh wounds that do the trick, open and leaking with adeptal blood.

You swallow at the sight of it, being reminded of the state he had been in the early years of the Archon War.

You think that he won’t entertain you if you came up to him with your usual words, so you decide to stray with a tiny white lie.

“Dandelions…” you answer directly, though a little shy. “And cecilias…”

It isn’t a complete lie, per se, for you do miss those exotic flowers.

Though they hail from the foreign nation of Mondstadt, you used to fly to the cliffs and greens of the city of wind to nestle in the breezy floras.

But as you are right now, you are incapable of leaving for too long.

The Yaksha eyes you at the side, nose crinkling in bewilderment. He probably didn’t expect that answer and instead believes it to be a bluff. He isn’t completely wrong, either.

His prolonged silence makes you sigh.

“Stop fighting.” You finally convey the words dying to roll off your tongue, “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

I don’t want you to continue suffering more than this.

He answers you immediately with a scoff. “Impossible.”

Of course it is.

“I just want you nearby.” You try a different approach, though you mean the reason all the same. Your voice has gotten softer, a little more shy than usual. “Is that so much to ask for?”

Compared to before, this time, his answer is not instantaneous.

You’re not certain if he’s not speaking because he doesn’t have a response, or because he simply doesn’t want to. He keeps his gaze straight forward, into the nights of Liyue where everything is at peace.

All but you two.

When at long last, he’s finally able to respond, it is not towards your later statement.

“Stop asking for ridiculous things, my war is eternal. There is nothing you can do about it.”

The prick on your chest begins far too sooner than you expected. You still mustn’t have recovered to an acceptable extent.

The growing pain tempts you to revert back, but you don’t, because then, you wouldn’t be able to speak.

“Why can’t you let me help you?” you pry, daring a step forward.

Closer, closer to the rift that divides you both.

“Help?” Xiao’s voice is strangely wistful, but then he shakes his head. “… That’s absurd.”

You do not miss the slight crack in his visage that told you of his vulnerability—the same one you found when he collapsed in your arms after returning bloody and beaten in the War.

How can you turn a blind eye to it?

How can you turn a blind eye to him?

With assurance, you reach your hand out, just like he did to you a while ago. You want to hold him, you want to comfort him—even if he’s at an unending war, you will carry it with him. It’s only natural.

You are siblings.

“Don’t,” Xiao snarls, voice dripping with a threat. “Don’t touch me.”

The pain in your chest squeezes.

“Brother—" you plea, but-

“What we’ve become is inevitable.” The way he said it so monotonously freezes you in shock.

There is not an ounce of guilt in his tone as he highlights the pathetic outcome of your relationship with him after the war.

A war that has strained a bond that was awkward to bloom—where now, there is a division that separates the two of you.

“It cannot be annulled.”

A rift that is impossible to cross over.

You feel your breath leaving you.

“So,” you rub at your eyes, looking away in fear that he’ll catch the glossing of your eyes and deem you weaker than you already are. “You aren’t willing to try to- to fix… this?”

What’s become of us?

Xiao looks at you for the second time that night—and the shadow over his visage makes it difficult to see the expression he wears. But his answer is sufficient enough.

“It is useless to fix what is already broken.”

And just like that—the hope you’ve been attempting to keep alive in your heart shatters, but the gravity of such an impact is caught in a delay.

You are unable to feel it at first, for there is an evident stutter in the process of understanding how far you are from your brother.

It is only when Xiao turns to disappear were you able to feel the extent of his words—the knife that stabs through in order to claw out your heart. It hurts.

You fall to the floor, trembling from exhaustion—literally and emotionally.

The thrum in your chest sends a lump to rise at your throat, firm and telling of the damage your heart has received.

It hurts to think that you are the only one who wants to try and fix the space dividing you from him. It hurts to think that you are the only one who wants to help the other heal.

Gasping for air, you feel the floor with your shaking hands, willing yourself to transform back into the meek and fragile form you’ve always been.

All traces of courage having dispersed the instance you were shot down.

It hurts.

.

.

The following day, you are unable to see Xiao anywhere.

Perhaps he is concealing himself away, or maybe he truly is occupied conquering and purging the land of the obstinacy known as bygone gods.

You do not know—it isn’t like he tells you anything.

Waking up in the cage you call your home, the assumption from last night that you will open your eyes feeling drained and helpless is ostensibly false.

Because although the feeling of being deprived of vitality is true, you do not feel as helpless as you thought you’d be.

Maybe other than blood, stubbornness is what you share with him.

Hence why you decided to take a venture past Wangshu and head into the heart of the harbor, seeking the man you know holds olden wisdom and judgement in all his glory.

It isn’t hard to meet him, given it isn’t a busy day.

It took you great courage to speak up and hold your ground against your brother, but it takes an even bolder heart to meet the eyes of the ex-Archon who at one point held your fate in his hands.

But he appears to have mellowed now—gotten even wiser if that’s possible.

He is surprised to see you, understandably so, but made no such things to send you off, which led to tea being shared in the morning as he listened to your entreaties in silence.

“I see, so you are worried over your brother, still.” He does not sound at all flabbergasted that this is why he’s approached, humming.

You wait for more of his words, biting back the urge to tell him all that he knows that instant. And as if the deity has been attuned to your wishes, he indulges you, setting the teacup down with a clink that sounds within the secluded room in the funeral parlor.

It’s morbidly expedient; to talk in such a place when the crux of the conversation involves history and deaths.

“Do you know why he considers his duty eternal?” Zhongli lifts his stare to meet yours, the action making you swallow and answer a short while after.

“Because of a contract?”

You are aware that he isn’t trying to be intimidating with his stare—it is just that you have grown accustomed to looking into those ambers that once exuded undisputed command.

Although who sits before you now is not the Geo Archon, but someone trying to blend in with the mortals, you cannot see him for the human he tries to be.

“Partially.” He admits though it contradicts the subtle shake of his head. “But there is another reason.”

Another…? Unaware of the subconscious tightening of your fists, you break off the eye contact, moving your sight to the peaceful surface of the hot tea in the cup within your hands.

To be submerged in it will feel relieving—at least then, underwater, everything that you hear will be obscured. A semblance of a sanctuary, to hide from the truth and the answer you fear yet seek all the same.

As though cognizant of your hesitance, the man on the other end of the table keeps quiet, yet still fixates his stare on your person. Waiting to deliver what you came to him for.

And when [c]s strikes against gold, it is set in stone. He answers.

“Sacrifice.”

It shouldn’t be surprising, really; sacrifice, though ruinous and lamentable at best, isn’t considered uncommon in Teyvat.

Sacrifices exist and happen every single day; from the loss of time in order to do something, to the loss of chances and opportunities that could’ve opened a different path, and plenty more.

But for an immortal—sacrifice is far too grave of a word to associate with.

“[Name],” you stiffen at his call, “Do you ever not wonder why he agreed to be a Yaksha? Why most of your memories of the War is entrapped in a fog that refuses to disperse?”

Sacrifice is something that holds meaning and influence over one’s life.

Floundered, you pick away at the handle of the cup. “Because you asked him to?”

You don’t answer his later question, aware that your perfunctory response is sufficient enough to answer both.

He nods. “Yes, but even I had a reason for asking him.”

A reason, so he means that there’s something else other than the superficial invite to be an elite warrior. Another meaning under the agreement to be a Yaksha.

Zhongli moves, carrying his cup with him as he takes a seat on the chair next to yours. He then extends his hand for you to take wordlessly and you clench your fists once more, skeptical.

There is a voice in your head advising you not to do it, but you must if you ever want to find out what that reason is.

And when you take his hand, there’s a painful tingle erupting from the tips of your fingers, coursing through your blood, rushing into your mind and opening memories you didn’t know you had until now.

The corrosive decay from the cursed blessing is momentarily abated, bringing about a reel of a familiar yet forgotten tragedy.

That lady on the battlefield—she who is adorned with smiles and wears red as her primary choice of color, is your savior. At least, on the face of it.

When you’ve come to allow her to bless you—and bless you she did—you are instantly healed of your supernatural wounds and there’s no doubt that your brother was, too, because that was what’s agreed on.

You felt the gratifying enchantment of the power you sought, running within your bloodstream and filling you to the brim with a taste of affluent omnipotence.

With that power, you returned to a frantic warrior who’s up on his feet, cured of his afflictions. 

With that power, you have gotten stronger—stronger than you could possibly ever imagine and your fear of the war has dwindled until it is nulled.

With that power, you are able to satiate the desire to keep Alatus safe, as he has done with you.

But that power… you realize, as you stare once more at the familiar sight of fatal wounds on your unconscious kin one night, is still not enough.

So, you cast about for the lady in red once more, and there she is awaiting, again, in the middle of the battlefield. Waiting for you with a knowing smile.

“This power is insufficient.”

“Then foster it.”

“How?”

Dreams. Ambitions, hopes, and wishes.

All those that are created by the heart’s desire, all those that human beings thrive upon to look forward to another day. They are the requisites—they are the ensilages to the development of your blessing.

So, seek them out.

And sought you did.  

When the advent of nightfall has come and all are asleep, you prey upon humans, feeding on their dreams and hopes. Using them to enhance the gift you’ve been given.

It’s fine, right?

After all, you’re doing it to protect your brother. Those humans will understand, it isn’t like they can’t understand the meaning of necessities.

“Don’t you want more?” she had smiled.

You do.

“Then go, my dear.”

So, you went.

Those dreams, so positive and hopeful, they taste delightful. Unbelievably scrumptious, addicting and leaving you craving.

It’s fine, right?

With each delectable dream, you grow powerful. As what’s promised.

Alatus—dear brother—is barely even scathed nowadays. A monster will be cut down before they can even think of harming him. Oh, how overjoyed you are.

Oh, how powerful.

Oh, how fearless—how valiant you’ve become.

This is it, the crescendo of your being.

This is what you’ve been looking for; the missing piece to combat the petty fear of war. Power. It is all that you needed.

It is all that you ever desired. Nothing more, nothing less.

But there lies a fault in the path you’ve chosen.

A fault you realized far too late, when the last vestiges of your moral alignment have come to convey the epiphany that you are being strung along to the whims of the smiling lady.

When you have confronted her about it, barely rational, instead high, drunk, and delirious on the sweet, sweet blessing [curse], you are far too gone.

That power has become strings, threads to puppeteer you the way she wishes to.

You dislike it—but the power… did you really dislike the power?

Salvation is nowhere in sight.

At least, not in the form of –

“Let her go.”

The one you tried so hard to protect.

You can hear his voice by the skin of your teeth, an almost muted decibel. What strikes like drums against your ears, however, is the sardonic simper.

“You’re in no position to make demands, dear.” she hummed, “But I have been waiting for you. Why don’t you say hi to your sister, doesn’t the red make her look prettier?”

Red? What is she talking about? You are barely conscious—not in the sense that you are falling into a slumber, but more like you do not feel… you.

A vignette overlays your blurred sight, only being able to see blobs of colors that you’ve learned to liken to those that you know.

Alatus is a peaceful emerald, opposing the scorching crimson known as the god you’ve once deemed your savior.

“I said free her from your bind before it’s you who’ll be seeing red.” His voice comes out much more austere than you anticipated—you can’t tell.

Another simper resounds in the—where is this? You don’t know anymore.

It’s hard to maintain your focus on them when the whirl of power within is too addicting to overlook. Still, you try to concentrate, albeit with evident complication.

The strain from trying to ignore the catalyzing omnipotence is more painful than it is cathartic, and you begin to hiss and growl away at it. Much like an injured animal.

You feel a hand caress your hair, the touch endearing, though it’s a prima facie act at best. You know that much—though you knew it too late.

“I like my beasts feisty. This one’s power-greedy, which makes it so scrumptious, but you…” the way she paused makes your skin crawl in anxiousness, “That desperation… could be put to good use.”

A brewing presage that, to your horror, comes true.

The moment the blur of red stirs past you, inching closer to the serene green, you’re moving—or you think you’re moving.

Your extremities no longer feel like they are yours, hanging on threads that oscillate only upon the whims of the smiling god.

“What are you doing?” your voice seems far, but you hear yourself, anyway. “This is not within our agreement, you said you’ll—!”

You said you’ll leave him alone!

Immediately, much like the puppet you’ve succumbed to be, a domineering yank slots you back in place, holding you down even if no visible force can be seen doing it.

Oppressive in all its decree, nothing can be done as you are forced to crash to the earth, the very power you beseeched being the one responsible to shackle and render you immobile.

There’s a click of the tongue. “Delicious greed, indeed. The only downside is that she can be so defiant…”

The power within you begins to fester without delay—and though it is heavenly, there is a threshold. Too much, the power is too much, filling you to the brim with the threat of breaking past the limit.

It feels like you are about to explode from the inside out if it keeps up and the burn—oh the burn in your blood- make it stop-

You cling onto the dress of the lady in red, pathetically tugging in apology for acting out. But she does not cease her punishment.

“Why are you turning it away?” she questions, infusing even more of the accursed blessing and causing you to writhe on the ground, “Did you not want power, my dear?”

Are you dying? Is this what it feels like? How funny.

You thought that with power, you can conquer anything—but here you are, overladen and drunk with it, but still, you are afraid. As you’ve always been.

“Stop that this instant!” the demand rings with unfiltered urgency. “[Name]!”

It’s the first time you’ve heard him call for you so alarmed that you’re miraculously able to cling onto the remnants of your consciousness, stubbornly not letting go. Afraid of what might happen if you do.

The blur of red has stopped in front of the green.

It doesn’t take much sagacity for you to know that the god is considering stopping, but of course—

“Be mine, then, just like your sister surrendered herself to me. Then I’ll let her go.”

—As always, with a price too great.

“Brother, don’t- don’t do it.” Thankfully, your voice has not failed you—yet.

I did this to protect you. I did this to keep you safe!

Right? He was the reason you sought power in the first place, you wanted to keep him safe, too—right? So why is it that something inside is telling you that you’re wrong?

No, no, you know your reasons—you did it for him, you did it—

“You swear upon your word.”

—For your brother.

“No, no, wait-!”

“That’s more like it.”

The atmosphere has gotten even colder, dropping to a degree where it feels like ice is biting your skin each and every second.

It contrasts the burn within, the discrepancy of bitter cryo and igneous pyro making it almost impossible to even feel.

You want to scream, you want to defy and demand for him to take his words because under the mercy of this—this god is something you don’t ever want him to face.

But your fates have been led astray, the alignment of stars steering off-course.

There is no turning back the moment you have allowed yourself to be [blessed] cursed.

You feel yourself dropping from the command she has on you, but for some reason…

“There, free from my chains.” It feels as though you are no longer yourself. “And blinded by the strength she so seeks.”

The power is toxic—running like fire in your bloodstream and dousing you in a sensation worse than your psyche being split in half. Yet beyond the concept of pain, there is power.

Power that you sought, power that you desired.

How bad could it be? Pain in exchange for omnipotence.

It is all that you ever wanted—right?

“You said you’ll release her!”

Of course.

“That I did. But greed is blinding. You’re mine now, Alatus.”

It is all that you ever needed.

“Gh—! Let go of me-.. !”

Why did you seek such power in the first place? Ah.

“Snap out of it!”

Oh, you don’t know anymore—but the power is too delicious. It’s too good, it’s too simply wonderful. You feel invincible, like you can seize the world and crush it in your hands.

So you will. And it’ll crumble like dust in your fists, split apart from the blade of your polearm.

Your body has seemingly adapted to the burn, caging the liquid fire within, unaware of its true catastrophic damage. Your sight has since then become clear again, but you feel… weird.

Awake, yet not lucid. All you can feel is the [toxin] ambrosia of potency—of might and inviolability.

The delightful thrum in your chest emanates the blinding power you proceed to be intoxicated in and you feel the bliss of it all as you take to the skies, looking over the carnage and the dreams waiting to be eaten.

You’re hungry, salivating at the simple thought of feeding upon sweet, sweet dreams.

Be mightier, be more powerful… !

[To keep him safe] To be high and drunk with it all is all that you’ve ever wished for.

So you actively chased after it, the insatiability keeping you on edge. It is a chase you are willing to be in for eternity.

Even though there are times when you crashed, the feathers of your wings burning from the overabundance of delicious, delicious power, you keep on chasing.

Sometimes, you think there is someone flying with you—but they do not seek the same thing that you do. How unfortunate, do they not like the taste of being unstoppable?

Sometimes, you think they are trying to talk to you, and though you see their face, you can’t be bothered.

They do not understand you—you are two worlds apart.

One night, when the sun entwined with the moon and painted the latter a luscious red, you came upon an assembly overflowing with hopeful dreams.

Who are you to not be ravenous?

At the center of all the carnage, you giggle, crazed and temporarily satiated. The smile on your face does not drop even when you are lying underneath the golden tip of the Vortex Vanquisher, far too out of it.

You see someone dropping from the skies, rich marigold wings folding to the ground, but you do not pay them any mind. All you can think about is the rich and devastating feel of power.

The polearm presses onto your forehead, then out rings a voice, weighed with nothing but apathy. “So this was that god’s little beast, a piteous avian…”

Familiar, that sensation of spilling blood, it’s familiar. You feel it dribbling on your punctured skin. It is painful, but its degree is far away from the poisonous sinew in your bloodstream.

You do not move as gold spangles beneath the crimson moon, like a harbinger announcing your death to come.

“Receive your punishment.”

“No!”

But it does not come.

“Morax!”

With a gasp, you tear your hand away from the man in question, the vestiges of the past withdrawing along with the action.

He notices your tremors before you do, but makes no move to approach given your frazzled state of mind.

Thunderstruck, you clutch away at your chest, breathing like you’ve ascended out of the murky depths. The conflagration of the curse gives off the impression that it has been resurrected, though you know it only to be an aftereffect of awakening a buried memory.

The curse—that ‘blessing’—is long gone. Its only relic remains in the form of your damaged body, a vessel that could not handle the amount of growing power.

You know that you have done something wrong, but the fact that a consequence made for you was instead taken by your brother—albeit in a different manner—was not known. Until now.

The gaps in your memories are closing and you are a hundred times more exhausted than ever, already on the verge of slipping away if not for Zhongli sliding the teacup forward.

“Drink,” he insists, “It has been enchanted, comprised with what sustains you until today.”

You do so without an ounce of hesitance, sighing in relief at the soothing effect of the deciduous remedy. It will do for now until it is time to return to your ‘sanctuary’.

Looking at Morax now that you are aware of things you weren’t before comes off as difficult, but you endure with pursed lips. Though you are unsure as to how to approach things after being doused with revelations… you will try.  

“You mean to say-” the images of before makes you shudder. “When he became a part of the Yaksha… his karmic debt… his contract…”

Ala—Xiao’s arrival then, when you were about to be dealt with necessary consequence…

The rest of your memories are still hazy, but it doesn’t require a genius to ascertain and piece things together.

Zhongli nods. “He shouldered it for you, to atone for what you did.”

The gravitas he bears—is that coupled with travail, or is your guilty, hopeful conscience making you see things that you want to see?

You know that saying you could’ve done it—atone, serve—instead will only provide an obvious reason as to why they didn’t even consider you doing it.

Morax did not trust you then—and you understand that perfectly.

But your heart still weighs with bitterness, with shame—with guilt that will eternalize itself within.

Yes, you have served Morax anyway, fought in his name despite not recalling the real reason why other than abiding by Xiao’s insistence that you do so. But it is as he said still, your servitude is far from being enough.

You’ve slain upon hundreds, preyed upon thousands, and ruined beings innumerable.

“Because of me…”

He’s unable to be peaceful. Unable to escape the threat of insanity coming from karma. He’s everything that you should be. He bears the opposite that you should’ve been from the start.

You feel small—terrible, awful- hell, nothing can describe how you despise who—what you’ve come to be.

Seeing your reflection in the tea makes you hold your face, wishing to claw and rip it apart if it means getting rid of the unsightly appearance. In your chest rekindles a blaze, but it is no longer the one borne of greed, but of dolor.

Weak like you’ve always been, you are further reduced to a shaking mess of hysteria.

The memory of seeing your brother on the brink of death one too many times when he carried his first name, the blood that was keeping him alive only knowing how to overflow…

“All I wanted was to keep him safe, too.”

How could it all go so damn wrong?

It’s messed up, you’re so messed up, it’s maddening—so infuriating… !

How did you lose yourself so far?

“I’m so sorry, brother,” your whisper is wobbly as you shrink, as if it can erase your existence. “I’m so sorry..”

He can’t even look at you anymore without hurting—yet still, after everything, he is still able to give you, the beast who lost herself in her blessing, undeserving mercy.

“Morax, I beg of you.”

Why is that?

“She’s my little sister.”

Polar opposites, that’s what you both are.

Existing as each other’s parallel, because that’s what you’ve made yourselves to be.

You don’t deserve him—his love and his mercy. For so long, he’s been hurting and it had been because of you. How much does it pain him to see you spiral into someone so twisted?

Oh, sweet heavens, you can’t even envision it all.

Is it worth it? You find yourself asking over and over again.

The transient blessing of power you indulged in, only to drag in the one person you didn’t want to descend with you into madness.

History cannot be rewritten, now, you stand in the aftermath of the dangerous desire you wanted.

You have changed him for the worst.

And you can’t even shoulder his duty, can’t even help him because he’s right; you are now nothing but a shell of who you used to be. You are stuck in a cage that keeps you revitalized, unable to do anything but be idle and it’s contemptible.

Even until now, he is giving you the mercy Morax thought was inappropriate—and you find yourself agreeing with the fact that it is unfitting.

How can you even face him now?

His disappearance is warranted and you will not hold it against him at all. Your very existence inarguably reminds him of all that he went through.

Does he despise you? A possibility.

Perhaps he took mercy upon you—and pleaded for Morax to share his perspective—because you are his only kin. And that it is only necessary to keep you alive.

But beyond the blood that you share with him, you are nothing but a constant memoir of a tragedy that cost him the happiness he could have had.

The truth hurts—much more than the faux, deuced ‘blessing’ you’ve been gifted with in the olden days. And there is nothing to do but accept it for what it is.

The journey back to the inn is a lot more hellacious than ever. Maybe it is because of the additional weight of knowing the truth, but the venture is herculean. The soothing relief of the brewed tea can only last for so long.

When you arrive at the balcony after paying your greetings to the Goldets, the place is empty, devoid of the presence and trace of the kin you’ve subjected to eternal suffering.

A punishment that should’ve been yours.

Feeling yourself wither away but remaining as obstinate as ever, you rise to the roof, nearby the huge branches of the tree upon which you once rested upon whenever you’d accompany the Yaksha.

He is not there.

Still, you can envision him, and just doing so makes you lean onto the wood, heaving. Your pain cannot be quantified, but you are certain that whatever you are feeling now can’t possibly amount to the one that your kin carries.

“Big brother,” you whisper in the wind.

Alatus.

Tears stinging your eyes, you bury your face in your arms, breaking apart. “I’m so sorry, brother, I’m so sorry…”

Zhongli is right; no matter the nobility of your reason for wanting power, you killed for it. And you enjoyed the blessing afterward.

It didn’t matter if it was because you were able to keep him safe while it lasted, the sin lies in how you were delighted despite the lives that you took.

It wasn’t worth it, it so wasn’t worth it.

Now the consequence lies in the form of your beloved brother and the rift that only knows how to distance you farther and farther away.

As if it is sentient, and, knowing you will only bring him more pain, continues to section him far from your touch.

How do you have the face to even be in the same place as he is? You don’t even have the right to call him your brother, for what you did—it’s sinful. It is something that cannot be pardoned.

You cannot be pardoned.

And yet, you ask him for so much. His time? His company? When it is being near you that teethers him to death’s cliff?

How brazen—how unforgivable.

But that needn’t be a source of concern now.

Standing on wobbly feet, you descend to the lower balcony, morphing into the little avian creature you’ve always been.

The gilded cage welcomes you—though it won’t be for long. It’s time to lift a burden off of him, time to take away his very source of distress.

It’s time to leave.

It’s far from the redemption you seek, incredibly so, but you will still leave. And hopefully, take with you, the past that proceeds to haunt him.

For although you share the same blood, there is no home in a family split asunder from the wrongdoings of one.

There is no home in a family founded in pain and loss. If this is your own punishment, then it is just appropriate; to burn all hopes of ever fixing the bond you desired to have with your brother.

Your selfishness ends now.

With you gone, no longer will there be a vestige of his tribulation’s precursor. Not anymore. It is the least that you can do after so much.

You just hope that after all that you made him go through, he’ll hopefully understand that despite your fall into greed back then, at the start, it was out of the genuine want to protect him, too.

The sky, still painted a rich navy blue, is littered with endless of stars. You wonder if yours is there, having strayed from the alignment it was meant to take.

You hope that after your departure, he’ll still be able to forgive you.

With a grunt, you pluck out a feather from your wing, The [c] lacking the luster it once contained, but that does not matter now, it isn’t like you’re one for appearances, anyway.

That he won’t think anything less of you.

It is the image of your brother that makes your eyes sting as you open your wings.

That he’ll still think of you as his sister—even if you’re far from being the best one.

It is the earnest want to stop him from hurting himself with you nearby that prompts you to take to the skies after so long. Alone, as you should’ve been.

That one day, you’ll get to fly with him again. As you did a long time ago.

Farewell.

When the moon has descended, leaving the expanse of the firmament for the sun to take its place, comes the arrival of a Yaksha.

He drops onto the floorboards of the inn with an exhale, turquoise ribbons that accompanied him in his flight vanishing in the morning wind.

Careful, he stands to his full height and scans his strangely silent environment. The place where the [c]-haired Adeptus often frequents is empty.

She must be resting—and this is what he would’ve believed, had he not realized the change in the atmosphere; the cold. It’s an unsettling kind of cold that makes him furrow his eyebrows.

“[Name]?” he calls out tentatively.

When nothing but the distressing quietude greets him back in all its noisy chorus, he is quick to step down the staircase, heading to where he knows the cage hangs about.

“Xiao!” Verr’s perturbed expression only runs a chill in his spine that he refuses to acknowledge.

Without waiting for her to add something—that is not his priority—he continues to speed towards the place in mind. He comes upon the gilded cage and he stops, breath getting caught in his throat.

Nothing is there, save for the single greying feather of [c].

The sight didn’t need any explaining but fate has its way of rubbing salt in the wound.

Xiao’s breath stutters out the name of his only sibling, whispered in the wind as he takes the feather in his fingers- only for it to crumble away into dust. His hand shakes.

Losing strength, his previously clenched fists slackened.

Out of sight, the dandelions and cecilias in his hands are strewn away, lost in the breeze.

a/n: isn't it sad how a fearful MC just wanted the courage and power to protect big brother, but in the end, she lost herself in the wonders of said power and ended up only hurting the one she wanted to protect? :)) no punishment can redeem her, and, knowing she is the source of pain, she decides to leave.

BUT WAIT- doesn't the cage keep her alive? what will happen now that she left? and big brother came back too late.

@cherryflushz @e7t3 @scarlet-halos @lordbugs @nebulaera @annoying-and-upset @hanniejji @applepi1415 @tjjjrsj @azirajane @hey-comrade-hold-stil @limelightsuperhero @chloeloe @loptido @windyventi @nejibot @ganyuqrt @justrinnn @yasunamilk @alana5021 @koi-chairowo @uwu-dreams @yvechu @mininji

IMPORTANT!

INTRODUCTION!

Hi! I'm K, call me K. This is my first blog and I am fairly new in Tumblr! I LOVE the colour pink as you can see. Since I am new here im quite of an old woman who don't really know how Tumblr work, so I hope you can help me. Despite of my horrible grammar I absolutely love to write and share my works! Lets be friends if you're interested!

FEW THINGS TO ADDRESS:

My page will be suggestive or straight up NSFW so minors DNI.

I MAY or MAY NOT write dark contents so if you can't handle possible dark stuff I advise you to stay away.

Despite of dark contents, there are a few thing I wont write such as rape, SA, sexual abuse, gore and etc.

I will inform whether specific genres are open for request.

My work take a long time to finish since I do have a life and other stuff to take care of.

My grammar sucks so if you can't handle excessive grammar mistake and word crimes, this ain't for you

STATUS:

REQUESTS : CLOSED BRAINROTS : OPEN CASUAL CONVO : OPEN

MAIN GENRES:

FLUFF/COMFORT＊ : CLOSED ANGST/HURT ❖ : CLOSED (wip) SMUT/ SUGGESTIVE ☼ : CLOSED

MY WORKS SO FAR:

Poisonous petals of love (Kaeya x Hanahaki! Reader) ❖

Unconditionally (This one is horrible istg) ❖

Sugary Sweet (Sugar daddy Childe x Reader) ＊☼

When I was your man (Albedo x Neglected!F.Reader & Childe x F.Reader) ❖＊

TAGLISTS:

When I was your man:

@idkwhatmyusernam @xiaotopia @fvrose @avalynnemarie @yorunagareboshi @kinboshimsv @apyrose @hey-comrade-hold-stil @minzyy-y @tangyrene @nhinxsworld @wondermilka @fuyu11037 @taeheesworld @kiriesdreamworld @ayatosneakylink @milkyonyourway @10vegiyuu @herrscherdeath

ANON LIST:

Inform me if you want to be one!

📂 – The Remarried Empress

A genshin impact Series

📂 — summary ; Y/N was the perfect empress, however, the Emperor wanted a wife, not a colleague. And so, the Emperor abandoned Empress y/n and placed an enslaved girl beside him. That was fine until Y/N heard the Emperor promise the slave the Empress’ position. After many ups and downs, Y/N decided she would accept being the Queen of the neighbouring country and remarry.

📂 — pairing ; scaramouche x reader x childe

📂 – updates ; irregular but i will try to publish at least two chapter per week <3

📂 — taglist ( send an ask if u wish to join ! ) ; @scarahours @mikazukiwrites @beriiov @httpmitsuya @nejibot @elysiagf @thelovelydiviner @xinhar @smashsubs @xxyuixe @zvirblis @hexahydride @sweet-almonds @aromaticism @flannn @rrinsluvr @rowielol @alwaysnotinthemood-blog @narinchan @kuniluvr @hxqlou @lovemechilde @originallyann

if your username is in pink, i cannot seem to tag you and you may have to put your blog out of being hidden . and if you wish to be removed/added, send me an ask <3

📂 — author's note ; hello ! this series is based of remarried empress, all credit goes to its writer and owner! i dont own the pictures either nor any of the characters, so all the credit goes to their original artists and hoyoverse.

📂 — masterlist ;

1. I'm about to be removed from the empress' seat

2. Early signs of an affair

3. Compare To Whom?

4. Curiosity Kills The Cat

5. How Shameless Can She Get?

The Ruthless Prince (Part 16.1) Scaramouche x fem!reader [Genshin Royal AU]

Summary: When Prince Scaramouche picks you out of a random group of commoners to marry, your life is turned upside down. He’s mean, snarky, condescending and he doesn’t act like a proper husband or prince at all. However, when Prince Tartaglia from the neighbouring kingdom takes an interest in you, Prince Scaramouche finds himself even more annoyed than usual. This is the story of him and you navigating this roller coaster of a relationship.

Warnings: NOT PROOFREAD forgive me, longer than usual, lots of things happen, steamy! but completely safe for work, implied sexual activities. 16.1 because I cut out the hot parts, 16.2 will be the one that details what exactly they did *eyebrow wiggle* but it doesn’t take away anything from the story if you don’t read 16.2. It’s just a little extra for those who feel like it.

Word Count: 4.7k

Summary and a recap on the Royal AU plots are here.

Read other parts: (Ruthless Prince Masterlist)

You sit in the silence of your shared room. Glancing at the clock on the wall, it is now past the birthday celebrations. Past your usual bed time, even. 

And yet, not a wink of sleep has found you.

There’s only anxiousness and uncertainty that makes your chest tighten. It drops to your stomach, and it dissipates the slightest bit, making you think that you’ve gotten control of your emotions back, but it shoots up your stomach and wraps around your heart again. The cycle of being anxious and uncertain continues.

Scaramouche disappeared as soon as the two of you got back to the castle. He strode past the big castle doors in a hurry, and when he remembered that you were there with him he swerved around and only said one thing. “Go to sleep,” It was rather dismissive, and for a moment you wondered if going to sleep was really the only thing you could do. 

Keep reading

Art Disclaimer: Please do not take the photo and repost. Feel free to reblog though. Commissioned jfairuz for this one. It’s so, so pretty. 

The Ruthless Prince Masterlist 

 Genshin Royal AU - Scaramouche x fem!reader

Summary: When Prince Scaramouche picks you out of a random group of commoners to marry, your life is turned upside down. He’s mean, snarky, condescending and he doesn’t act like a proper husband or prince at all. However, when Prince Tartaglia from the neighbouring kingdom takes an interest in you, Prince Scaramouche finds himself even more annoyed than usual. This is the story of him and you navigating this roller coaster of a relationship.

Chapter 1 - You’re Marrying Me, That’s Final!

Chapter 2 - Social Pretense

Chapter 3 - Can I Understand Him?

Chapter 4 - Pet Wife

Chapter 5 - Enter Prince Tartaglia

Chapter 6 - Just the Beginning

Chapter 7 - To My Heart

Chapter 8 - Where is This Anger Coming From?

Chapter 9 - Secrets

Chapter 10 - Resurface

Chapter 11 - Don’t Touch What’s Mine

Chapter 12 - Truce

Chapter 13 - New Rules

Chapter 14 - Happy Birthday?

Chapter 15 - check back later

Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32682664

A Price to Pay - Ayato x f!reader

Summary: You first knew Ayato years ago. He was handsome, charming, and loved to provoke a reaction from you. Yet, the love of your life, the next head of the Kamisato clan, left you. Now he was at your door, shocked to see you were home. If you put your anger aside, perhaps you'd learn why he had to leave you. You were one of the few who can cause him to lose composure after all.

Other info: Angst with comfort, hurt/comfort, 2.6k words, spoilers for Ayato's story quest in the first paragraph

(Inspired by his story quest. I wondered if something in Ayato's past could've made him more personally invested in the main conflict of the quest and it somehow turned into this. I hope you enjoy it.)

Passing by the notice board caused your stomach to drop once again. You knew it was irrational. The wedding was cancelled because it was merely a rumor to begin with. Nonetheless, it left a bitter taste in your mouth, churning up memories you thought you had put to rest.

You stopped in your tracks when you saw a figure at the front door of your home. He was tall, handsome, and elegant as always. You knew him well, many years ago.

You sighed as you approached the door and Ayato was startled to see you. He adjusted the collar of his kimono and you scoffed at his action. Despite now being older and more accomplished, he had the same telling habits when he was in an uncomfortable situation. He had better feel ashamed.

"My apologies," he told you. "I did not expect you to be home."

"What? Your informants gave you the wrong info?"

You struggled with the key at the door and when it opened, you glanced back at him, only to raise a brow at his expression. It was brief, but you were sure you had seen a small smile from him. You disregarded it.

Blocking the entryway, you stood in front of him and crossed your arms. "Why are you here, commissioner?"

His eyes widened, but only slightly, before clearing his throat. "I have business to attend to with your father," he told you.

"For the upcoming festival? He has more pressing matters at the moment. He left me in charge of it for now."

"Ah. I shall return another day then," he said with a polite smile, proceeding to leave.

"If you need to discuss something with me, you might as well spare me the pain and say it now." There was a deeper meaning to your words but you dared not to mention it now.

He fiddled with his sleeve, unsure how to reply. He resorted to a shrug and a chuckle. "I thought you despised being in my presence."

"I do."

Lightning striked in the distance, an ominous sign the skies would pour down with rain any minute. You sighed over the unfortunate circumstances.

"Come inside," you told him. "I have quite a few drafts that need approval. I was going to ask Ayaka but it seems my point of contact has changed to… you."

You gestured to him to come inside, and just as he stepped into your home, a trickle of rain began.

The inside of your home felt a lot smaller than usual. It was never as big as the Kamisato estate, but the last time you were both here was when you were much younger. Your retainer rushed into the room to welcome Ayato and to see if he would care for any refreshments. You went to your office in the back to retrieve the paperwork for the festival.

When you returned to the living room, balancing a stack of binders, Ayato quickly came to your aid. You pushed his hand away and walked to the table before dumping all your work on it.

Over the next few hours, the two of you discussed the drafts of the posters, brochures and other signage for the event. You needed to verify the accuracy of the information, not wanting to give the illustrators and designers the wrong information.

There were quite a few vendors selling goods at the festival, so it was a challenge to consolidate all of their information. Fortunately, Ayato was competent at his job and was familiar with each one like the back of his hand. Almost all.

"There's one more vendor from Liyue," he told you. "But I can't quite remember the name."

"Qingce textiles? You mentioned them earlier today."

"No, not that," he said, placing a hand on his chin. "I don't know if the spelling is correct. I will require one of my retainers to verify it for me."

"No need. I'm familiar with them," you told him. "I frequented their store." You dragged your pen as you wrote out their name. Traveling to Liyue in the past was a nice change of pace from the busyness in Inazuma. No, not the busyness.

You went there after Ayato called off your engagement.

"Have you heard from Watatsumi fisheries?" you asked him. "My father last told me they were still deciding on participating in the festival. Many people waited in line at their stall last year."

"That's a pity. I was told they ran out of their last batch of fish. A certain hired hand left them on the boat to spoil."

You widened your eyes in panic, wondering how your friend was dealing with the situation. But after spotting the slight uptick of the corner of Ayato's mouth, you rolled your eyes and returned your papers.

"That shouldn't be a problem for you, correct?" you asked.

"Of course," he replied. "Thoma also informed me they have plenty in their storehouses. Besides, they still have quite a bit of time before the actual festival to obtain fresh fish."

"So ultimately, your information was irrelevant."

"Perhaps," he told you. As you shuffled more papers, Ayato glanced at your empty cup. "You should get some more tea."

"I'll ask Mizuda to fetch it for me."

"I was implying you needed a break. I can continue here."

Your heart skipped a beat without your permission. Why was it that just after being with him for a mere few hours made you forget that you hadn't conversed in years? You ground your teeth, hoping his business with you would end swiftly.

When you returned from your tea break, you walked back to the living room with a cup in your hand.

"Is that… boba?" he asked. He glanced outside the window as the rain continued to pour down. "Where did you get it?"

"I made it."

You held out the cup and he stared at the drink in front of him. When he took it, his fingers grazed over your hand and he almost dropped the cup in the process. You eyed him, questioning his behaviour and he apologized for his uncharacteristic clumsiness.

The next few minutes were strange. Ayato knocked your biscuits off of their plate when reaching for a new sheet of paper. His sleeve got caught on the edge of his boba cup and caused it to flip over onto one of your binders. It was fortunately empty. You finally snapped when he dropped the ink bottle, which had just missed your rug.

"Ayato, what's going on?" you groaned.

"I–." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "It seems you still have this effect on me."

You bit your lip, picking up a few papers but you forgot why you needed them. "You–," you began before taking a breath to compose yourself. "You have no right to have any feelings for me."

Ayato was the boy who promised to go through everything with you. You were best friends turned sweethearts and he was elated to learn his arranged marriage would be with you. He loved to tease you yet you didn't mind. It was some of the few times he had fun as he diligently learned to be the next head of the clan.

You gripped the paper in your trembling hand, holding back tears threatening to blur your vision. "Why– Why couldn't you stay with me?"

He sighed as he leaned back in his seat. "You were simply the price I had to pay," he said, closing his eyes and head tilted towards the ceiling.

"What about me?" you snapped at him. "Don't you think I suffered as well?"

You knew he would be the next head of the clan. He prepared his whole life for it. But it was accelerated when his parents died. It was the burden he had to carry, you understood that. Despite this, the two of you promised to be with each other through these times and were excited to wed each other when you reached adulthood.

He continued to stare at the ceiling before rising from his seat and occupying the space in front of you. He bent down, knees on the floor, and, very gently, tucked in the edges of his kimono.

"I promised myself to never appear in front of you again," he told you. "I never considered an opportunity would arise to apologize to you."

He placed his forehead on the rug and you clenched your fists, your nails digging into your skin.

"I am sorry you had to suffer on my behalf."

"Don't you think it's too late? You never told me why you called off the engagement. Of course, I suffered! You got up and left without a word! How could you do this to me?"

Silence. He didn't give you an answer. Your sweet beloved had left you in a blink of an eye and yet he was here in your house.

You rubbed your temple. "Forget this. Let's just get back to work."

You picked up your pen but he hadn't moved from his spot. "Ayato?" You glanced below you; a small patch of the rug was damp.

You pulled him up. "Ayato," you said in a panic. Tears filled his eyes and coated his cheeks. He quickly hid them behind his hand.

"I've overstayed my welcome." He got up to rush out of your house but you took his hand. It required little force to halt his movements. The feeling of your hand in his had shocked him.

"Ayato," you said again, this time with a gentle tone. He bit his lip, attempting to steel his expression. But it was no use. The tears had already betrayed him.

"My love," you called him this time, and he turned around, embracing you in his arms. His sleeves spread over your back as his tears soaked your shoulder. You stroked his broad back in the same way he used to comfort you.

"Mizuda," you called your retainer and she entered the room. "Please retrieve a handkerchief for me." She nodded and left the room.

"You need not to worry about her," you told Ayato. "She's astute and tight-lipped. I trust her with my life."

He chuckled as he finally lifted his head. "How is it that you are comforting me when you have suffered unjustly?"

"Ayato," you said, staring into his eyes. "I was angry with you because you never gave me an explanation. I thought you didn't care about me anymore."

Your retainer returned with a handkerchief and Ayato wiped his tears. "This is quite amusing. After all these years of leading my clan, I am still very much immature. I am able to confront nobles, stand up against assassins, and uncover the deception of others," he takes your other hand, "but wasn't able to appear before you."

"Were you afraid I'd be angry with you?"

"No. I was afraid you'd be too understanding," he said. "And you would bear the cost of my decision alone."

You rubbed your forehead with the heel of your palm. "Now why would you do that– No, of course you would." He had his own way of dealing with his personal problems.

"I couldn't think of a solution that wouldn't cause you any pain." He released your hands and turned his head away from you. "I thought that you would at least have some consolation if you could direct your anger towards me."

"Is that why there was also an increase of suitors for me when you left?" you sighed. "Were you hoping I'd somehow be comforted by it?"

"No," he shook his head. "I had no hand in that. I considered it, but there was no one I could trust to take care of you."

You let out a sigh when your heart skipped a beat once again. "So why leave in the first place?"

"If I didn't, my sister–" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, disregard that. It was ultimately due to my incompetence that I could not fulfill my promise to you." His hand shook as he spoke, and he clenched it before hiding it from your view. "I could not rely on your family, lest we drag you down with us."

"Drag us down? Did you really think–?"

No. That wasn't it. He needed to ensure stability for his clan after his parents died. If it were only him left in the clan, the Ayato you knew would have run into your open arms, accepting any help you gave him. But if he chose you, he couldn't provide what his sister needed, a strong head of the family who'd forge a path for her. Her, along with the rest of his weakened clan and all who were under his care.

"You wanted to be able to stand on your own two feet." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "Incompetent indeed."

You didn't agree with him. Power dynamics didn't consume your mind like they did his. But now you could make some sort of reason behind his actions. Perhaps you were both too young and immature back then, not to mention Ayato had little time to grieve over his parents. And after you left for Liyue, he thought it best to not keep in contact.

"I do not ask for your forgiveness," he told you. "I have already put you through too much. But I will not allow you to suffer again," he said, looking directly at you. "I will ensure it."

He folded up the handkerchief and placed it next to him. "Did… you have any other questions? I hope it'll make our future interactions more bearable for you. If not," he continued, "I can arrange for someone else to take my place."

You pinched the bridge of your nose. This was too much to process. "Let's just finish up what we can for today."

The two of you worked for a few more hours and the sun had already set. You had difficulty concentrating and the side glances from Ayato didn't help at all. But one thing was for sure. You missed him. And he missed you.

"It's late." he told you. "I must return to the estate. I can arrange for someone else to come next time."

You crossed your arms, shoulders relaxed, as you leaned on a door frame, watching Ayato retrieve his belongings. "Will you be attending the festival?"

"Of course," he replied, squinting his eyes at a sheet of paper due to the dim light. "I must ensure it'll run smoothly."

"My retainer won't be working that week." You'd be alone then.

The paper fell to the ground as he lifted his eyes to you. He raised his hand to clear his throat. "Perhaps I… should come back to work here tomorrow. So that I won't be as busy during the festival." You raised a brow. "Or not. I'll get Thoma or Ayaka instead to–"

"I'm free Saturday."

Ayato's eyes grew wide. He tightened his lips together and you snorted as he struggled to hold back a smile. He nodded and quickly packed the rest of his papers before leaving your house.

The rain had stopped. The dim lampstands outlined his silhouette as he stood to stare back at your house once more, the man who sacrificed much to accomplish what he did over the years, the same boy you had loved dearly.

Perhaps fate would be kinder to the two of you this time around.

I hope you liked it. :) Fun fact: the textile business is a reference to the reader's occupation from my Kazuha drabble and the fishing business is the reader's from my Itto fic. I was too lazy to think of vendors so I used them. lol. Those two fics have completely different moods from this one though. :)

Please consider leaving a comment if you enjoyed this.

Edit: I wrote a fluffier part two here. :)

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IN THE WINDS OF TIME, KAEDEHARA KAZUHA 🍃

“those eyes used to know me, it’s been way too long. you are the moon and the stars and all i gaze upon, time won’t ever move slowly, what are you waiting on? say the word and i’ll be yours, you know i never forgot.” full playlist.

note: i know some of you are definitely thinking, oh god she's back again. and yeah!! finally!! dedicated to my good friend aka kazuha's wife @kazuharem !!!! i’m so glad to have been here to celebrate such a huge birthday milestone with you, and i hope life takes you in only good directions from here on out <3 elaina my beloved i hope you enjoy this very belated gift!!! i said i’d write your obituary here, but maybe i’ll leave it for the end so you get a proper send-off hm? additionally, i just want to preface that most of this was written before i actually did the archon quest, so some minor details are incorrect in canon, but don’t affect the story at all :)

synopsis: kazuha is the freest soul you have ever known — parts of him linger in the breeze, in the warm air and flowing waters of inazuma alike. but tied together once as friends, your relationship had turned sour upon the dire event of his friend’s death at the shogun’s hands. years later, you are stuck under the shogun’s jurisdiction in a job you once thought would give you a second chance; a position where your oldest and dearest friend is supposed to be the enemy. yet, as quickly as things had initially changed, your life flips on its head the moment the fatui are involved in the century-old conflict. holding information that could save thousands, it’s up to you whether you’d like to keep your position amongst the country’s elites, or find your way back to the side of the man who had once offered you the world.

warnings: pls set aside time for this monstrosity, a lil bit of the misunderstanding trope, friends to enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, sword to throat moment, descriptions of a wound to the chest, happy ending :D<3

word count: 21,000

in the past, when the maple leaves first began to pick up on the battlefield, it had only ever been instinctual to turn your head the other way. no one questioned how the superficial breeze never reached you, comrades never realised that the chance to pick crimson leaves from your hair always seemed to escape them. it’s as if there was a discrete force constantly shielding you from it — but, the answer has always been far more simple than that.

the man who travelled with the wind would never harm you.

distinct blazing eyes caught yours under the ocean blue sky. his footwork was light and intricately wrapped in the small blades of wind, silhouette lost in the blinding light of the midsummer sun.

you were only a newly-ranked general at that time, likely not even on the resistance’s radar yet -- but the sight of kazuha sent both nerves and a painful ache shooting through your chest.

you remember hesitantly ordering a retreat, fighting back a scoff. kazuha had no doubt planned to make quick work of the soldiers from the beginning — but seeing your face must have spurred him to trample the visionless soldiers like bugs.

he had wanted to show you what he was capable of.

it had been the same wretched cycle since the day you’d chased him from your life for good — a stray gaze. an empty threat. anonymous letters between the months. with one mistake, what used to be a smooth friendship easily twisted into strained alliance.

but neither grudge nor duty is enough to erase the past. no matter the kind of resentment he feels towards you, he is just as unable to harm you as you are him. the odds are against both of you in a complicated dance wherein you cannot touch, wherein he is still the same unfortunate boy he was all those years ago; just as you are still the same unlucky girl.

but that had been almost nine months ago, one of the last times you’d seen kazuha in the flesh. despite yourself, you still find yourself hoping on sleepless nights that he has somehow turned his life into something he can be proud of.

it had been a great shock to see the kaedehara family fall. occasionally, you think that it may have been only a pipeline that has gotten kazuha to the status of a fugitive -- but you had seen him that day, running from the horrific scene painting the tenshukaku. he is guilty only by association.

the sun falls quickly over inazuma city that night; the place where it had all begun.

in the middle of making your routine walk to the precinct of the shogun’s abode, you have the misfortune of coming upon kujou sara doing the same.

the raiden’s bloodhound is among the most resilient of the shogunate’s underlings, and it is hard to keep your thoughts from her more often than not. being someone with blurry convictions, her watchful eyes on you are constant.

as you attempt to brisk past her, she falls into step beside you.

“good afternoon,” she greets you kindly, though pointedly does not use your proper title. “I hope the day has treated you well so far?”

you force a polite smile— the very same you offer uncooperative diplomats. “yes, thank you. i hope the same of you.”

kujou sara nods, conversation dissolving into the sound of heels on stone. at the very least, you admire her agility in the geto sandals she is never seen without. to manage to flawlessly keep up appearances even when carrying out duties is an enviable thing. but, that tends to be the extent of your jealousy. you have nothing more to grasp from a woman of such governmental wiles.

“we are a team, that is indisputable.” she says suddenly, continuing to look forward even as you turn your head. “but during this conference, i will be the sole member contributing to the conversation.”

her abrupt order strikes you where it hurts. kujou sara’s dislike for you as her partner is deep-rooted, though you had never expected her to hold you back so blatantly. perhaps it is out of good faith, perhaps it is a jab, but in either scenario, it is disgustingly fortunate.

very few members of the inazuman council are ignorant of your past relations to a certain fugitive in the sangonomiyan resistance. to call a conference to deal with the assent of the rebels is no small issue in anyone’s mind, but it is risky for you to speak on most issues concerning it.

you push down a grumble as you nod. though you are only one of the generals by title, making an attendance at the logistical conference is at the very least necessary. certain days you suspect that you walk on a tightrope before the rest of the higher-ups, one mistake away from being shipped back out to the fishing island you grew up on.

but you are intent on keeping today from being one of them.

“i thank you all for appearing this evening.” the leader of the raiden shogun’s regime stands before a long pine table some minutes later, nodding indiscriminately to the small group that occupies the tatami mats. hot tea had since been placed in front of you at your arrival -- a stout cup of sencha warms nearly everyone’s hands. “it was certainly a lot to ask you all here as of recent events, but i believe that to fix this issue, going to the heart as fast as possible may be the only way we persevere.”

quiet murmurs run amongst the familiar faces. you frown.

“i will get started immediately, then.”

when the woman turns around to begin her proposal, you dip your head. nothing she says is anything you want to hear. so, despite the obvious stares you feel boring into you, you continue to count the stray leaves in your tea, along with the seconds that pass in your silence.

“if there is a chance to catch them in a place they aren’t expecting it, this would be the optimal route to take.”

the words pull you out of a daze as your brows tighten.

“you seem awfully excited for this plan, general ___. would you care to give your insight?”

your eyes whip to your partner beside you, backed by rage and formidable confusion. kujou sara knows exactly what kind of person you are, and exactly how to push you in the directions you will twist and turn the most.

when you don’t reply, a tinge of a smile peeks at the corner of her lips.

“your lineage is pure, but your mind is far from it.”

taking a deep breath, you face her with the air you are meant to conquer with -- the you that forced you away from your best friend, but had been the sole solidifier of your modern life.

“on the contrary, my mind is the reason i’m sitting here.” you remind her. “can you say the same?”

but the you that has solidified your modern life is nothing more than a rotten liar.

when your mind goes to the hydro vision in the locket on your neck, you associate it with not the ceaseless hunt for visions in inazuma, but the people who fight to make sure that you are able to keep it. the vision hunt decree may have been easy for no one, but it was harder for you — being forced to choose your side so quickly, so haphazardly, it very well could have meant the end of your life.

the reason that you are reluctant to provide the resistance with criticism is because you agree with them; you agree with him. you had always agreed with kazuha, but it had been the split second decision to hide your support that had driven a wedge so deep between you.

you hadn’t been in contact since you’d left ritou on the announcement that you were joining the shogun’s army -- but back then, it hadn’t meant anything. kazuha was merely a wanderer. a dear friend’s position in life meant little to him, so long as he could see you every so often.

musou no hitotachi is a powerful weapon, tales of it woven in folklore and urban legends alike. no mortal had laid eyes upon it in the last century, making it a weapon of high reverence, and even higher anticipation. you had never known the man in red that appeared on the shogun’s doorstep that day, demanding an audience with the archon. but knowing his fate, you are glad that he remains a stranger.

you were to do nothing but stand there, watch as a new recruit while he subjected himself to something no one has ever come out of alive. even now, you need to remind yourself that there is nothing you could have done to change the outcome -- but the glint in his eyes is something that you will never forget.

though, even with all of those variables, it was kazuha’s sudden appearance that had taken you off guard the most. you hadn’t expected to see him so soon after you’d bid him farewell, most of all not jumping in to snatch the man’s dying vision.

the shogun’s body had barely acknowledged his presence, however, the careful turn of her gaze had suggested she was staring right at him. kazuha was gone as quick as he had come, running where not even a god could follow -- yet where another person very well could.

an elegant outstretched hand suddenly signalled you in his direction. terrified, you remember the exact moment the shogun’s eyes met yours for the first time, as if daring you to question her. your breath hitched.

stiff legs had taken you in the direction kazuha had run off, faster than you’d ever ran before into the haze of the midsummer evening.

it was not hard to discern the alleyways he’d ducked into. kazuha had unintentionally left a silent trail that only you could recognise, a mix of wind and sweet scents that drove your mind half crazy. ducking under the low-hanging balconies, you caught sight of a flash of red and skidded to a sudden stop.

kazuha was breathing hard at the end of the alley, chest rising and falling in a gruesome manner as he stared up at the ledge of the wall. you were in a similar state, forced to take small steps towards him even as his friend’s dead vision dropped in the dirt.

he could easily get away. kazuha’s anemo vision has always been a thousand times more practical than yours. yet, even so, he levelled the playing ground himself.

“did you lead me here on purpose?” you asked quietly, stomach curdling as he still refused to physically acknowledge you. his adam’s apple bobbed.

“kazuha?”

his head whipped to yours with inane speed, teeth gritted. “what about you? are you here to arrest me?”

“i… don’t know. she told me to follow you but i-” you cut yourself off, unaware of the way his eyes softened. “kazuha, what’s going on?”

kazuha’s attention lingered on you for a few heavy moments before a sigh tumbled from his mouth. impromptuly, he came closer to you, running a stray hand through his hair. your shoulders relaxed at the familiar trust he placed in you.

“my friend, he had a foolish proposition, and i never thought he would honour the promise, but-” he choked slightly on his words as his attention met the bleak vision on the ground, hand dropping from his head. “he left this morning without saying a word.”

kazuha nodded along to his own story as he took in a deep breath, exhaling unsteadily. “he was already dead when i arrived.”

your eyes shut as a frown took over your features. “i’m sorry. i should have tried harder to stop the shogun. maybe then-”

“and make me lose two people?” he shook his head, taking your hands in his with a pleading look in his eye. it caught you off guard. “no, never go against her. please, ___. promise me.”

“i-” a surprised laugh escaped you. “i don’t have much of a choice. she’s my superior now, kazuha.”

the reminder is a grim one for him as he lets go of your hands, a frown steadily coming to his lips.

“then-” the frown persisted, as if it was a manifestation of the mess of thoughts whirling through his head. “why don’t you come with me? they would say i took you, and we could figure this out together. just like we always have.”

you remember kazuha’s offer stopping you clearly. you could witness the world together, living off of wild fish and fruit, being forever free of the shogun’s iron clutches -- it sounded like a perfect deal, and with everything in you, you wanted to say yes.

“i.. i’m sorry. but i don’t know if that’s a good choice.”

why didn’t you say yes?

you hew the memory, forcing down a grimace.

“either way,” you lament, turning a conceding eye on your partner. “we are both here because we are capable somehow.”

kujou sara’s eyes narrow almost implicitly, as if to warn you for a future conversation. the council members around you don’t seem extremely invested in your one-sided rivalry. often, this is how chunks of meetings tend to go; sara acting as if she is still on the front, and you redirecting the blows elsewhere.

there is no doubt in either of your minds that it is a closed interaction, not affected by anyone else, but even you can recognise when it is too much for those around you. “though, i wouldn’t say excited. i have no opinion on this plan in particular.”

you maintain a straight face even though everyone can see through the lie.

resigned to listening to the rest of the meeting dawdle on, you drown out your colleague’s voices in favour of the void that occupies your mind.

the first breath of fresh air that enters your lungs that night afterwards is almost therapeutic— no longer are you pinned between duty and heart, but your time spent outside of it is still unfortunately limited. the moon hangs high in the sky as you walk back to your place for the night. inevitably, you pass the same alleyway from your earlier thoughts.

your lips twist in thought.

the shock on kazuha’s expression after you’d told him your verdict is something that you will never forget. with all of his heart, he has always been understanding, but something about your rejection must have scratched him deep — because as your stomach plummeted, he let out a shuddering sigh.

“why not?” he asked, adam’s apple bobbing. “what’s so important that you can’t leave behind? the shogun?”

“kazuha, that’s not fair. as much as i want to, i finally have a stable job, and a future to look forward to. i can’t give that up just for one person and a chance.”

his lips thinned, eyes shooting back and forth before landing regretfully on you. “forgive me. but it’s not just one person, it’s me.”

your lips parted, a processing look flooding your eyes.

“kazuha. i will always be with you, but i can’t just pick up and leave!”

“why not?!” kazuha gestured his hand, shaking his head. he was certainly blinded by something that night, something so important that it overtook his better judgement. “what if i lo-“

he cut himself off with a grunt.

“what if you what?” you repeated, taking a step forward. “if you have a reason for me to come, let me hear it. it’s pointless to continue if you won’t say it.”

kazuha was silent.

“i get that you’re angry.” you looked away, lips twisted as a bitter feeling piped in your gut. “but it’s not my fault your friend decided to walk into death by the shogun’s hand. you can handle one other thing not going your way.”

presently, a light breeze takes your hair as the memory comes to an end. if you concentrate hard enough, you can almost perfectly recall the feeling of his shoulder brushing against yours as he moved to leave. for years, that night was the last time you’d seen him.

a biting sensation envelops your head every time you think about the hurtful words you’d let yourself say in the heat of the moment.

your eyes trail down to the uniform over your chest, the signature violetgrass purple colour of the shogunate’s army — and the symbol of those who have always been the enemy.

clutching a hand to the fabric, you sigh.

“what am i doing?”

you mumble, eyes trailing down into the barren alleyway. any words you could have said are lost in the winds of the past, conceivably just as your dear friend has always been.

shrugging off your jacket with the shogunate’s emblem imprinted on it, shaky hands tie it around your waist. you’ve regretted the words you said that day a thousand times, yet when you have reminisced in the past, no reaction has been quite as monumental as this.

perhaps your life has always been an anomaly.

a part of your old reasoning still rings true: it would be difficult to change most things about your present life without outright deserting all you know. yet, in this moment, all you want to do is just that.

suddenly, you let out a hiss, hand flying to the locket that holds your vision. it burns to the touch. without thinking, you consider ripping the chain, but with a grumble, you just pull your jacket back up.

the archons are laughing at you from somewhere in teyvat, and it disgusts you.

days pass as the idea ferments in your head. but as the whirlwind of preparations being made continues to grow larger, it gets more and more difficult to hide your displeasure.

one night you are left to your own devices completely, not needed anywhere and not expecting anyone on your doorstep. it is the first time you have let yourself become completely alone with your thoughts since the shogun regime’s presentation.

a split second idea turns into a walk. a walk turns into grabbing your bag on the way out, containing everything you couldn’t bear to part with. in the deepest part of your mind, your intentions are clear. but, the nerves that occupy your heart are keen on continuing the ruse.

quick steps bring you to the main street of inazuma city. shops and people alike bustle in the streets around you, perfectly masking your appearance — until suddenly, a light hand rests on your shoulder.

you turn to meet the apprehensive eyes of a semi-familiar guard as he retracts his hand quickly. a nervous laugh escapes him.

“my apologies ma'am, you were not responding to your name.” his bows his head slightly, and your brows furrow. “general, ms. sara is requesting your attention.”

your eyes widen a fraction. “now?”

he nods, gaze politely turned from the bag over your shoulder. “yes. she is waiting at a spot nearby uyuu restaurant.”

lips thinning, you thank him and take off in the opposite direction. steps now heavy with a different purpose, you see kujou sara almost immediately after stepping within the vicinity.

her work clothes have been abandoned in favour of a more casual getup, comprised of solid colour clothing accessorised only by the red tengu mask on her head. something in your chest curls as your body moves forward robotically. she must not be expecting you on official business, or else she would still be in formal attire — but a kujou sara wanting to meet off-duty is much more frightening than the normal alternative.

you push the bag over your shoulder to hide behind your back as you sit across from her.

“sara,” you greet with a polite smile. “to what do i owe the pleasure?”

she mirrors the smile, expression relieved. kujou sara is truly a different person when the weight of the shogun’s approval is lifted from her shoulders.

“i apologise for calling you out so suddenly. I assume you were in the area?”

you nod, subconsciously tucking your bag further behind you. she pays no mind to it.

“yes, i was out attempting to run errands.” you lie. “though, please do not worry, this meeting is of no inconvenience.”

“i’m glad.” she says this, but the words seem oddly ornamental. then, as if on cue, she casts a sidelong glance before leaning forward.

“i need your assistance with something of utmost importance, are you able to spare a few longer minutes?”

curiously flickers in your thoughts, as if mimicking the fast birth of a flame. you nod mindlessly.

kujou sara takes in a breath before continuing again; “it’s about the rebels.”

you bite back a frown. it seems they will never let down on their duty to be a reminder of your mistakes.

“go on.”

truthfully, it is hard to focus on your partner’s words. she is concise and thorough in her explanations, detailing each problem and each solution she has deemed necessary. but in your head, all you can focus on is the fact that the sangonomiyan rebels are beginning to win. they are taking back parts of inazuma one at a time, slowly but surely.

“our initial plans may not hold water any longer.” she explains, and you snap to attention. “so, i have elected to take matters into my own hands.”

your brows raise quizzically. “your own-?”

“you must know this:” your partner interrupts. “i am unable to give specific details at the moment. but i’ll need your help with the allies i plan to contact when the opportunity arrives.”

sighing, you shrug. “i can’t make any promises, but… i will try my best to lend you a hand.”

kujou sara leaves first, speaking of other arrangements and responsibilities to take care of. yet, it all seems to bounce off of you. the bag behind you cuts like a knife into your skin, a sharp reminder of the plans you had been on your way to enacting. would it be fair to leave now? to arrive at the rebel camp and make friends, only to have them potentially swept away by whatever plan of kujou sara’s you didn’t stick around to hear?

you frown as you sweep around the cup of water a waitress has since sat down in front of you. the crowd bustles around you as a gentle wind takes through the streets, carrying the scent of blooming petals and flowing waters -- a peaceful stagnance that you suspect will last even through the most tumultuous of inazuma’s conflicts. human lives are but fleeting specks in the winds of time. comparable even to the atoms that float through the breeze, each one is small but mighty. and you cannot give up a single one, no matter how seemingly insignificant.

the decision is made as you swing your bag over your shoulder, leaving not a trace behind at the scene.

as night falls not much later, you are left to stare at your belongings that peek out of the bag. it sits away from your reach, discarded haphazardly on the floor as if you mean to return to it.

i do, you remind yourself. if you are to seek shelter with the sangonomiyan rebels, you must at least bring a gift.

however, this gift is one that needs time to develop. there are days wherein you hear nothing but tidbits from your partner, whispers about making progress or woes on how much she looks forward to the plan being complete. as time goes on, though, you are only more apprehensive to the strategy kujou sara plans to cook up. certain details are concerning, and you are never able to piece together a full picture.

an unwelcome surprise is a particular letter that had arrived one morning, handed off directly to you. it is somehow signed delicately yet thoughtlessly — though anonymous, it is infuriatingly in character for the wandering ronin. you resign to leave it unopened, stressed by the timing of it.

during the long nights, you wonder if some deep part of kazuha’s intuition expects you. or, perhaps he has always anticipated an eventual breakdown. for now, you can’t be too sure.

and at the seemingly snail-like pace kujou sara is coming along, you occasionally doubt you ever will be.

until almost two weeks later, when kujou sara pulls you aside. there’s an odd glint to her eyes that evening that sets your nerves alight almost immediately. but alongside the anticipation that plagues you, you can’t help her excitement that rubs off on you.

however, it’s extinguished quickly.

the soft summer wind whips against your face later that night as you make your escape. you have done so many things wrong in your life, catered to so many lies and regretted so many decisions — and maybe you don’t deserve the luxury of feeling that regret. but if you aren’t able to meet the resistance in time, the human in you will beg for forgiveness at the feet of anyone who will let go of the time you have lived unaware of your partner’s plans for them.

the fatui. you grimace as her words come back to mind. the crooked diplomats are no strangers to you, and their willingness to help with such a devious plot is of little surprise. the real surprise, however, had been sara’s own excitement for the sinister plan; whether blinded by the shogun’s wishes or something otherwise greater.

delusions are monstrosities that seep through a person’s bones, draining any driving force in favour of the weapon’s potential -- to wipe an enemy out from the inside is not necessarily a bad strategy, but to resort to such cruel measures? you have only heard of the harbingers using the weapons in action, namely woven in the tales of the famed traveller that seems to be traversing the lands. but you have never had the misfortune of coming upon one yourself.

it is one of the most inhuman strikes to make on an enemy that you could have imagined.

dread settles deep within your chest, and with everything in you, you truly wish that kazuha was not as far away as he is. perhaps then it’d be easier to contact him. but no amount of ‘maybe’s or ‘what-if’s can change the past. in this moment, you are to rely on only yourself to get where you need to be.

your sandaled feet hit the pavement hard, sending shots of pain up your calves and into the brace of your knees. the outskirts of inauma city are less densely populated, normally marked by a few straggling farmers here and there. but the sudden increase in guards only adds sweat to your brows. the optimistic part of you hopes that no one has caught wind of your plans yet, but the smart one knows that kujou sara is adept at what she does -- if it is up to her, you will not leave the island alive.

“stop!”

as if on cue, familiar shouts ring out behind you. you don’t dare to turn your head even as your lungs begin to burn. when the footsteps sound crushingly near, your hand reaches around haphazardly to the weapon on your back -- a long navy blue polearm, delicately engraved with the ocean’s waves.

it’s ironic, you think, as you come full circle. you point the weapon your enemy had carved by hand for you at the people you’d once regarded as something you could never leave behind. you may not have a place amongst anyone any longer, but the anonymous letter you’d discarded in your bag gives you hope regardless.

because no matter who your enemies are, there is still one person you can hope will see you for who you are.

“as your former commander, let it be known that i have no tolerance for those who hurt inazuma’s citizens.” you sneer, grip tightening on the polearm in your hands as you swipe away yet another wave with the water that materialises over your weapon.

if you are known as anyone in inzauma’s history, it will not be as somebody who let the world walk over them.

fujikabuto fort is a two day trek across inazuma’s beaches — you know the area well enough thanks to prior experience, but certain things still catch you by surprise. wandering ronins are quick to interrupt you in favour of attempting to steal what you have on you, and the thunder bane also proves to be a formidable enemy.

you never anticipated a warm welcome at the end of your short journey; how could they know of your circumstance, after all? yet it takes your bleary mind by surprise nonetheless to see the soldiers react to you in horror. it’s not a new reaction — and the faded shogun’s symbol over your jacket is not one that will go unrecognised.

but perhaps it would have been a better idea to discard it.

well versed in the hostility, you raise your hands amicably. you are far past starting conflict with these people, taking into consideration the goal you retain even as a resistance soldier begins to approach slowly. you nod your head in silent greeting. suddenly, your breath hitches as a sword is brought to your throat.

“what’s your business here?” the weapon digs lightly into your skin, and for appearance’s sake, you force down the desire to turn the man’s own sword on him. he is unrecognisable, likely only a soldier of normal rank assuming he got lucky enough to snag someone wearing the enemy’s colours.

gritting your teeth, you smile politely. “i’m here to see general gorou--”

the sword twitches, and for the life of you, you cannot hide your distaste.

“--on personal business.” you finish.

the man quirks a brow, casting a quick glance at the rest of the soldiers behind him. with the presence of his so-called upper hand, he must truly believe that he has the right to be cocky. a small smile turns the corner of his lips up. the soldier’s free hand comes up to wave another over, likely a subordinate of some kind by the way she scurries over.

“an enemy general…” his head twists in false wonder, the edge of his sword digging into your skin, you grimace as blood begins to pool beneath your skin.. “i reckon she’s worth a hefty price to us. what do we do with her?”

the other soldier seems confused. she looks apprehensively between you and the man, as if weighing the weight between sword and spear -- before finally, she shrugs.

“not what you’re suggesting. we should get her to general gorou.” she insists, ignoring the warning in the soldier’s eye. “whether she truly has business with him or is only bluffing, it will go over smoothly as long as he is dealing with it.”

the soldier tsks, nudging her with his shoulder as you look on. he whispers unidentifiably, still smirking even as the poor girl goes red.

“fine. do what you want.” she sighs, sparing you each one last glance before heading off in the opposite direction. watching her back, you can’t help but shake your head.

“i don’t think dragging her into your threats makes for a very charming impression.”

you wince as the sword presses further into your throat with a vengeance. the group of onlookers is slowly growing, especially as an itchy hand reaches for the polearm on your back.

you tilt your head back as to separate the metal from your skin, letting the blood drip from your throat as you take in a breath. “i’ll give you one last chance to direct me to your general. i won’t be letting a foot soldier order me around any longer than that.”

anger sparks in the man’s eye in the exact moment your hand finds the water-enveloped weapon on your back. but, largely distracted by the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice the way that the wind begins to pick up in the same tense you do.

“hey, what are you-?”

you step back to look up into the sky early enough to expect what no one else does. but, namely, to leave room for the man that seems to plummet from the heavens. a flash of red and white comes down from above to adorn your vision with maple leaves and flurrying fabric.

nine months. nine months without contact and the moment kazuha’s eyes meet yours, you feel everything rushing back despite yourself. panic rakes in his gaze over you. yet, when he settles, it is not in front of you, but the soldier that had threatened you not even minutes ago.

“kazuha!” the soldier snaps to attention, garnering your concern. “welcome back to inazuma!”

“you were abroad.” you sigh, letting your hand drop from your weapon as your jaw loosens. “what a lovely greeting. i take it our separation stung?”

you’re stupid.

headstrong words leave your mouth, betraying everything you wish to say -- a depressingly common theme in your relationship.

kazuha doesn’t answer with words at first, only the slight tilt of his head. you pride yourself in the fact that he does not once make a move to reach for his sword.

“terribly. what are you doing all the way out here?”

“I already told that scumbag but--” you sigh bitterly, hand reaching up to wipe the blood off your throat. astute eyes follow your actions with an indiscernible look. “he stopped me from going any further.”

almost leisurely, kazuha takes a peek at the soldier behind him, who raises his hands in mock surrender.

“come with me.”

the solider casts a small smile at you as he begins to follow in your friend’s footsteps, kazuha then stops midstep. an amused look swims through his eyes.

“my apologies.” he bows his head. “not you, but her.”

there’s a beat of silence in the air that you swear is thick enough to slice with a sword. but, not sparing the soldier the privilege of another glance, you quickly pick up step behind kazuha. he just barely waits for you to catch up on the rigid path.

“care to explain?” kazuha asks, reaching into his pocket to casually pull out a red handkerchief and offer it to you. “you’ve only just arrived, and you’re already in trouble?”

hesitantly, you take it. kazuha speaks sparingly, and it doesn’t necessarily surprise you, but it hurts regardless.

“it wasn’t my fault. i walked up looking for general gorou and that bastard went straight to threatening me.” you grumble, using the cloth to carefully wipe the remaining blood off of your neck. fortunately, the man did not cut deep. “if you had been any later, you might’ve needed to set aside a sickbed.”

his brow quirks. “you’re here to see the general…?”

your eyes meet his from the side, pushing him to elaborate.

“is that the reason you didn’t open my letter?” kazuha asks.

“oh, that? it was the first one in months.” you frown, shaking your head as you step up and into the main part of the camp. “what was i to do? open it like i was expecting it?”

kazuha doesn’t answer. but it’s not a stunned silence — it’s almost as if he had been expecting the taunting response, simply waiting for you to finish.

embarrassed, you look away with a sigh. “how do you know i didn’t open it, anyway?”

he eyes you curiously.

“the words in the breeze brought the information to me.”

“…of course they did.” you grumble.

the terrain of the resistance’s camp is rugged, but you have to give credit where it’s due -- they were somehow able to carve paths out of the hard dirt, even if it is near impossible to avoid impaling your foot with a sharp rock at every other step. the tents are also small and spaced evenly, leaving room for privacy, if not total isolation when needed. impressed, you nudge kazuha as you walk.

“how long did it take you to set up this camp?”

he shrugs. “i’m not sure, i wasn’t here to do that.”

short and concise.

you nod in lapse of a response. of course, your relationship wouldn’t mend itself. but you had expected a better starting point -- it had been years since you’d told kazuha to leave, though you suppose something like that isn’t easily forgotten. taking a peek up at him, you frown.

he is indifferent to the utmost extent, expression flat as he leads you to where you need to go. the only indication that kazuha knows you walk beside him is the quick answer that comes after every pointless question you churn out.

when you stop in front of a particularly large tent, he finally speaks to you.

“then why come here?”

the words sting as your stomach drops.

“…because you were right.” you mumble, averting your eyes so you don’t have to meet his piercing gaze. “i never should have stayed.”

a few moments of silence pass before kazuha’s mouth attempts to open, but he is cut short by the sudden swiping aside of the tent’s curtains. surprised, you stare at a fox-eared man with wide eyes.

gorou is equally as stunned to see you. “general ___?”

awkwardly, you bow your head in acknowledgment.

“i don’t… go by that anymore.” you say, attempting to ignore the shock that permeates their composures. “please, just call me ____.”

a hand grabs your shoulder. “you don’t go by- what are you saying?”

you don’t look at kazuha even as he squeezes, addressing gorou rather than the confused man beside you.

“i had always planned to leave the shogunate eventually.” you admit, releasing a quiet sigh of relief as kazuha disconnects from you. “but now, they’re planning something terrible for you that i couldn’t stick around to see happen .”

gorou looks to the man beside you, as if searching for a second opinion. when kazuha nods, gorou leads you back in preparation for what could be the worst.

the tent is small but secure. the corners are meticulously closed with intricate knots to avoid sound escaping, and a single stove works to heat the space. in the middle of the cozy space is a table, over which hang compartments of what you can only assume are military papers.

“you can sit there.” gorou gestures to the seat farthest from the entrance, and you comply. you wish you could see the expressions on their faces now, but your entire story depends on your credibility — even the smallest signs of hesitance may be taken the wrong way.

silently, you peer up at them after you slip into the seat. gorou follows suit quickly, taking the seat across from you and knitting his hands over the table.

“so, tell me again why you’re here?”

unsure of how to begin, you lean forward on your palm. “well. have you received any care packages recently..?

gorou crosses his arms. “why should i share information like that?”

“general, for this to work, i’ll need you to trust me for now.”

“you have no authority here.” he reminds you, watching you as your words die in your throat. “you’re lucky i’m hearing you out at all.”

“and what if you do turn me away?” you quirk a brow. “are you prepared for the consequences of your actions?“

it’s a bold statement, and you’re prepared for him to take it as a threat — but this is something you must run by him no matter what. if he does not want your cooperation, he must at least think it would serve no harm to garner it.

gorou’s expression remains still. the only sign that he had heard you at all rests in the delicate set of his brows, alluding to the surprise he cannot show.

“what consequences do you mean?”

you recount your past few weeks in inazuma — the meeting wherein you’d realised your true feelings in accordance with the vision hunt decree, and your calculated promise to help kujou sara with her secret plan to fight the resistance.

carefully, you skirt around the details that involve resolving to find your way back to kazuha. but even as you explain the moment of mindset change you had always fought back, his lack of reaction is disappointingly honest.

“so, you meant to tell me,” gorou contemplates your words, eyes far off as he pieces your words together. “we’ll receive a package from an unknown sponsor in due time?”

you agree.

“and this package contains delusions from the fatui that are disguised as normal weapons?”

“yes, that’s what i was told.”

gorou shares a look with kazuha.

“___.” when gorou says your name, his tone is kind. your expression twists slightly at the sudden change. “you said that you had always been on the fence about the shogunate. am i correct?”

unsure where gorou is taking this, you nod.

“how… how sure are you that these thoughts weren’t visible to other people? is there any chance that this information was given to you intentionally?”

it’s a valid point you’d never considered.

“why-?” you speak without thinking. “it may have always been clear where my alliances were to some, but they would have no gain in pushing me out. you know how hard it is to replace a general!”

you barely notice how kazuha’s brows lift, but the minuscule action reminds you of the words you’d just let go — in a moment of desperation, you’d revealed the contradiction that had plagued you since years ago on that night. the one you’d initially intended to keep hidden until you were sure he was open-minded enough to hear it.

“e-either way.” you shut yourself down and avoid kazuha’s eyes. “if you’re suggesting that they would attempt to use my opposition as a test, they have trusted me many times before. besides, no amount of opposition would be enough to let me go. an army does well when there are different viewpoints.”

gorou agrees. “sure, but not if those viewpoints are in favour of a long-standing enemy.”

at a loss for words, you sit back.

“it’s not a lie…” you trail off, thinking of the moments you had caught with the tengu warrior. “kujou sara is a lot of things, but trust me when i say that she is not an actress.”

it pains you to see that he does not believe you:

time passes slowly from that point on — your story is quickly passed amongst the soldiers and largely doubted. most treat it as if catching wind of the fatui’s plot right as the resistance is gaining ground is too perfect to be a coincidence. but, the rational part of you knows how it sounds, so you waste no breath telling the people around you to believe it.

one morning a few days later, kazuha appears at your tent early.

“come on, sit up.”

drowsy, you do as he says without thinking. you’d been in the same shogunate jacket since the day you arrived, and though most of the resistance members are slowly getting used to your presence, one soldier named teppei has taken to being very kind to you. his golden eyes are resilient as they fearlessly tell off anyone that dares to pick on you.

you remember his hand descending upon your shoulder vividly. “everyone deserves a second chance!”

as kazuha approaches you presently, tired eyes meet him while he crouches next to your cot.

you offer him an incomplete smile, to which he has a hard time ignoring. “good morning.”

his lips twitch in response. “good morning.”

“hold out your arm?”

you oblige, giving kazuha your arm limply and he takes it. curiously, you observe him as he fishes a roll of medical tape out of his pocket. he rips a piece off with his teeth.

“you don’t fit in here with this.” he muses, taping over the shogunate symbol on your bicep with practiced hands. your lips thin in an attempt to hide the cry that works to escape your throat.

“…i know.” you whisper as your head bows slightly. kazuha’s eyes flit up to you, actions halting. “i don’t fit in here. i don’t fit in there.”

his lips thin slightly as he offers you a strained smile. “you will. i… believe your story. and when the others do too, i will help you gloat to each.”

your eyes trail down to his as dejection fills your voice. “i’m sorry, kazuha. i know you don’t want to hear it, but i’m so sorry.”

the blond pauses for a moment, but your heart drops when he looks away.

“there’s no need to apologise.”

as he turns his back to leave, you can’t help but wonder in what light he had meant it.

you have no choice but to go on in anticipation; anticipation for kazuha, for the package you pray the resistance receives, and for yourself. because in the meantime, there’s also no telling how much time will pass before you are able to find a comfortable position amongst your new peers.

you still don’t dare to approach kazuha on your own accord -- because it’s hard to know what to expect from the ronin, as any two interactions between you may be completely different. some days, you will find kazuha offering you an extra serving of the unagi he’d caught that morning, while others, he might only spare you a few stray conversations.

you make countless excuses for him in your head while truthfully, you cannot explain his tendencies. there may be patterns within the hot and cold actions, you cannot for the life of you figure it out. so, not knowing the interactions you will have, you leave the duty of seeking you out to him.

and while it may be true that his feelings seem mixed, he never fails to do so. and you would like to think that it means something.

much to kazuha’s dismay, you have not changed.

desperately, he tries to justify a dislike for you -- to doubt you like the resistance soldiers are within their right to, to refuse to separate your identity from the organisation you’d left him for, or even to hold a grudge against the things you’d said to him in the heat of the moment years ago. but most of all, to let go of the same wretched longing he’d clung to ever since that night he’d left you in inazuma city.

yet, it is obvious that your time with the shogunate has done nothing to you. welcome or not, you are here presently because you believe you’ve done the right thing.

even if it means you think you’ve lost him.

in the first hours of a morning nearly two weeks into your impromptu visit, kazuha catches himself attempting to piece together your impressions of the resistance so far. for life to change so suddenly must have been tumultuous. yet he has not once seen you complain -- likely to earn the trust of those around you, but in any sense, it is a telling self-restriction.

as the man sighs, the sun raises a hazy glare over his face. yashiori island is humid in the early summer months, taking on warmer traits while still retaining its cold winds that come in from the northwest watatsumi islands. kazuha leaps down carefully from the winding tree he sits on.

the breeze softens the rough edges of his mind as he walks back into the camp. the day is about to begin, and however ready he may be to face the tribulations, the refreshing air of the morning did not do as much for him as he had hoped.

“kazuha. i will always be with you, but i can’t just pick up and leave!”

the conversation kazuha has turned over in his head time and time again suddenly comes back to him. his lips twist slightly.

“why not?!” kazuha gestured his hand, shaking his head. there were too many things he needed to say, too many things he couldn’t find the words to share. his heart was blurry as a small but desperate sound left his lips. “what if i lo-“

he cut himself off with a grunt.

times have changed. looking at you, there is no doubt in his mind of this. yet whenever your sad gaze appears in his mind’s eye once more, gently spoken words tickle his ears as he recalls patching up your jacket. internally, kazuha wants nothing more than to know you again. if kazuha had loved you once, he thought it only natural to miss your companionship, but your closed-off demeanour had confused him short.

it seemed as if you wanted nothing to do with him, leaving the duty of starting most interactions to him. kazuha had hoped the nerves would die off with time, and though it is true that you have adjusted since you arrived, you are still somewhat stiff with him.

yet, when he noticed your scattered attempts to hide the emblem stitched on the shoulders, despite his better judgement, he had approached you at that point wanting to help. even if it meant he didn’t know what to expect of you.

to see his dear friend so easily break down in front of him, it foolishly gave him hope that you were thinking nothing different; because even as it hurt him, kazuha could not let go of the visage of you he remembered so well.

“would it not be romantically irresponsible of me to forgo acknowledging the scenery with a poem or two?”

gorou had thrown him a look of disbelief from beside him that day, lips curling up into a crooked smile that displayed his canines.

“it’s romantically irresponsible of you to not do a lot of things these days.”

kazuha hummed. the sea breeze took his bangs lightly, curling them against the salty touch of his skin. gorou is not only the leader he follows, but also a dear friend. consequently, the faulty skirmishes between the two of you on the battlefield did not go unnoticed to his trained eye.

“perhaps. though i am at least able to take care of this.”

the words carry a heavy meaning that has gorou slouching over with a groan.

“perhaps, you should take a break. i know every inch and crevice in inazuma reminds you of her, and i don’t think exposure therapy is a very good method for a poet such as yourself.”

a smile tugged at something inside of him.

“perhaps.”

he had departed from inazuma on gorou’s suggestion not only for the opportunity to travel amongst the crew of the alcor once again, but also to get away from the rolling hills that reminded him of nothing but the person he had abandoned. yet, upon kazuha’s eventual return, he had come to the very thing he had been avoiding. you had spit venom just as anyone would expect you to, and though he appreciated your defensiveness, it hurt to see.

not a day goes by where he doesn’t wonder what life would be like if he had taken the time to talk you down. so, kazuha had gone years of his life thinking that the raiden shogun had taken two of his dear friends’ lives that night. but as time went on, he began to realise that may not be true.

that afternoon, he comes upon you training alone. it’s not an uncommon sight, to see you doing something on your own -- eating, practicing with your polearm, even mere relaxation are activities little people will join you in. occasionally, there is a certain golden-eyed soldier that will bite the bullet and accompany you, though he has been noticeably restricted to a sickbed for the past few days.

“how are you faring doing such a thing alone?”

the words drop from his mouth as you pull back your polearm from the training dummy, stance inviting him to take another step forward.

“quite well, thank you.”

kazuha’s eyes draw to the weapon in your hand, the spear you obviously haven’t even considered parting with since your arrival. he recognises the carvings without even thinking about it, the pattern of the shallow lines familiar to his own hand. he had carved the weapon out of impulse, the face that you still hang onto it keeps him hopeful.

he gestures with a nod. “i wasn’t aware you still carried that around.”

you look over at the weapon that stands in the dirt, and back up at him. something in your gaze seems slightly cornered, though he’s relieved when you nod.

“of course, it’s a good weapon.” you say, tossing it up slightly to catch it in the air. your gaze goes to the same carvings that still catch his attention, and the corner of your lips quirk up with the shadow of a smile. “you’ll have to see sometime, i’ve gotten a lot better since we last met.”

kazuha quirks a brow. his sword is already sheathed neatly on his waist, ready to be drawn just as it always is.

“perhaps you’d like to try now, then?”

“...sorry?”

he nods, experimentally drawing his sword — you take a step back with surprised eyes. but, once you’ve understood his angle, you let yourself lean forward again with a small smile of relief.

“you sure? i won’t console you when you lose like i did back then.” shy laughter peeks through your words, and it delights him.

“there will be no need.”

though your weapons of choice differ, you have no trouble keeping up with his strikes. if anything, kazuha first thinks to commend you even if you do fall short -- between the two of you, you are the one at a disadvantage. over time, more techniques are noticeably rushed or backed by hesitance. and while it could be a mere product of using spear on sword, he can’t help feel as though it’s more than that.

“what you said that night to general gorou,” the sudden close clash of metal on metal allows him to catch your attention. “did you mean it?”

pushing back as best you can, your brows furrow. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“it was always clear where my alliances were to some.” kazuha recounts the words you’d said the night you first arrived, noting the way your face pales. perhaps you assumed he had forgotten.

“…and?” you thrust your weapon forward in an attempt to throw him off balance, but much to his surprise, you succeed. kazuha’s eyes widen as he takes a step backwards. sword reflexively faltering, he mistakenly gives you ample room to close the already small distance between you.

he offers you an impressed smile as you come within an inch of him, the sharp edge of your polearm just barely grazing the skin of his neck.

“what would you say if it were true?”

your brown eyes search his, devoid of anything but curiosity. a familiar flutter beats to life in kazuha’s chest, and knowing who it reaches for, he does not think to quench the crushing sensation. despite his best efforts to avoid the realisation, you have, at this point, certainly crawled into his heart once more.

letting out an unstable breath, his lips curl into a smile that is a beat too late, “...i would ask why you didn’t say it sooner.”

wiping a sheen of sweat from your forehead, you can’t help but groan to yourself. the sun works overtime on your exhausted body, as if administering a more physical punishment for the words you’d said to kazuha.

you’ve always been the type to get in over your head easily — though so far, your embarrassing jabs to him have only seemed to put him in a strangely good mood.

you thought you had finally figured him out, only for him to turn around and shatter your expectations like nothing. it’s like you’re children again, dancing around the notion of one another and waiting for a whisper of change.

but his friendlier demeanour is of no consequence to you. so, foolishly, you have accepted it — because if keeping him closer ends in him choosing revenge, then so be it. it is not a possibility you think to dwell on now.

attempting to push the thoughts from your head long enough to fend off the flush that haunts your cheeks, you finally set your spear over your back. kazuha himself had departed long ago after your short skirmish. he had spoken of other duties to handle with the tell-tale ghost of a smile on his face.

even now, he never ceases to be mysterious.

as you walk through the camp, you hope your frazzled state is hidden enough. not that anyone would say anything if it weren’t — your hair could suddenly go up in flames and you would garner nothing more than a silent glance. though, at this moment, it is a blessing. were someone to look too hard, you fear they might be able to see right through you.

you have never regarded your cot as anything but uncomfortable, but the moment you finally reach your tent, it is akin to a cloud in your eyes. falling face first, the uneven mattress bunches around you. and for once, it seems to hug you in all the places you need it to.

it has been a long few weeks since you took up shelter at fort fujito -- and while the absence of kujou sara’s plan is worrying, you are content in the way that you have begun to not doubt your place. rather than waiting for the odd looks to cease, you have learned to shoulder them, hanging onto the presence of kazuha by your side.

the sunlight filters weakly through the tent, lying a peaceful hue over your body as you let yourself drift off. however, you wake abruptly to a cooler tone and uncharacteristic rowdiness somewhere outside. it at first rouses irritation, but it quickly settles into curiosity. what could they be so excited about all of the sudden?

“you’re awake?”

you startle easy in your drowsy state, raising an arm to fend against the sudden source of noise

kazuha gives you a pleasant smile as he lets the tent flap drop behind him, quietly ducking to kneel beside you. there are days where he could walk laps around you without you knowing, and it’s certainly quite a talent. the anemo user is quick with not only words, but also actions.

you attempt a smile in return, though your sludge-like reaction time cannot be held back enough to keep from wincing at the sudden shouts.

“what’s going on?” you ask, hands coming up idly to cover your ears. kazuha casts a glance over his shoulder, but when he looks back to you, the fiery look in his eyes is barely recognisable.

“the sangonomiyan priestess arrived on the island not long ago.” kazuha nods, expression sly. “perhaps she has something to share?”

after a moment of pondering, you sit up abruptly as the meaning of his words reach you. eyes widening, you barely avoid stuttering in shock. “you don’t mean--?”

he shrugs. “truthfully, i don’t mean anything concrete. my lady is not a very particular person, her visit could be one made on mere impulse.”

a heavy spark runs through your chest at the proclamation. but, believing it to be plain uncertainty over anything else, you simply push down the sour feeling with a shrug.

“…my lady? is that referring to sangonomiya kokomi?”

kazuha nods, bunching his hands in the edge of the blanket that covers you. “it is. she has always preferred to go by this title, though i presume it was not her idea originally.”

you prod him on with the slight quirk of your brow.

“general gorou,” he explains. “the first i heard of the nickname, it was from his mouth. i only followed suit as everyone else did.”

the immense relief you receive from his reasoning is concerning.

a shadow appears at your tent before you can respond, tapping on the thick fabric in silent warning. you and kazuha share a look before you address the figure.

“please come in.”

when the curtain is pulled away, you are taken aback. it has been a long time since you’ve seen sangonomiya kokomi in person, but it is now that you’re reminded why the people of her island regard her as a deity. she embodies the land and the sky, eyes like the ocean and manners like the wind.

the formidable strategist offers you an amicable smile. she says your name, and your ears burn in embarrassment. your eyelids are still heavy and your hair shows obvious signs of sleep, yet meanwhile, her clothes are laid flawlessly, and the air around her is peaceful.

“greetings.”

you smile awkwardly, but kazuha’s silent nudge adds a darker tinge of red to your ears. kokomi’s expression is patient as you stand up.

“hello,” you bow your head slightly. “it’s nice to see you in.. different circumstances.”

the last time you’d interacted had been on the battlefield, in a much different light. however, this doesn’t seem to hold any water. much to your relief, she takes no offence to your unorthodox conversation starter. she even laughs, the sound sweet and clear.

“yes, it is quite nice to meet you here.” kokomi’s eyes travel between the two of you almost calculatingly, but she doesn’t linger. “i trust you’ve found a home with the resistance?”

kazuha’s head dips, and her implication also sends a rush of red to your cheeks.

for sake of professionality, you clear your throat and squeak out, “something like that.”

a passive smile graces her features as he turns to take a peek over her shoulder, presumably through the gap in the tent.

“general,” your throat is dry as you address her, though she provides you with her full attention. “i assume… that you aren’t just here to say hello?”

“you are as adept as i remember. that i am not, but please do not worry. i am not retrieving you to deliver bad news.”

she shares a glance with kazuha, who still kneels next to the cot behind you. “on the contrary, i’m sure you will be quite delighted.”

you’re silent as you walk beside kazuha to a more central part of the camp, bubbling with apprehension. he steadies you with a hand to your shoulder as you walk.

“you know,” he starts, shrugging slightly. “you shouldn’t worry. there is very little good news it could be when in accordance to you.”

you know he’s right — there’s no reason for your anxieties. yet still, whatever this woman says is as good as fact to the soldiers that reside here. her words will determine what track your life follows from now on, and it’s an awfully big responsibility to pin on someone other than yourself.

you just laugh. “i appreciate the harsh honesty.”

“my comrades,”

kokomi is resilient as she stands before a crowd, posture straight and smile warm. if humans really are predestined to live out a certain fate, surely she had a role such as this coming. you attempt to rub the sleep from your eyes as she begins.

“it is wonderful to see you all in good health, your work at the front and on has paid back well. we gain advances across the beaches with each passing day, and this is only thanks to your marvelous execution.”

the resistance members quickly follow suit as she claps delicately. assorted cheers are thrown up from the crowd, and you don’t miss the smile that pokes at kazuha’s lips.

“recently, we have caught wind of those outside of our forces that are looking to support us.”

you can almost feel yourself perking up. kazuha is also noticeably attentive beside you.

“ i have chosen to accept this offer.” she voices her decision, and your stomach drops all the same. her sanguine eyes look for yours amongst the dense crowd as if to reassure. “but do not misunderstand me. these weapons are not to be used, but studied.”

“a trusted informant that has recently joined us has ruled these weapons as corroding -- a way to wipe out our hard-working forces from the inside. hence your warning: there will be an influx of equipment being transported within the next few weeks. please pay no mind to it, as well as touch it without proper equipment.”

a soft murmur runs through the crowd, yet all you can do is sigh in relief. you raise a hand to cover your mouth.

“thank god.” you whisper, head dipping with a sigh. “i was starting to worry that people would start trying to call my bluff.”

kazuha bumps your shoulder with his, smile evident in his voice. “i’m very rarely wrong.”

even with your years as a shogunate general, the concept of battle still baffles you. it is an unpredictable mess of people that oppose each other, fueled by hatred and obligation that may not even be their own. the pressure of leading people into such an environment is a gamble, though you have at least gotten good at that -- for weeks, you sit around a table with sangonomiya kokomi, inspecting and noting every detail on each weapon sent to you.

the tedious work is beyond your normal skillset, so to say.

“they’re duller,” kazuha says this from beside you, eyes trailing up to where kokomi sits across from you. he had volunteered to help quite easily, immediately after you had promised to devote your time to the priestess’ affairs. but that had been almost one week ago, and you with each passing moment, you fear that he is getting more bored -- and yet, his careful eyes have distinguished a surprising amount of discoveries.

it warms your chest with something familiar, something that you don’t want to let go of.

it goes ablaze as kazuha shoots a small smile in your direction. kokomi is doing similar inspections across the table, hidden behind a tiny set of glasses as to study the finer details of the bow in her hands. the silence prompts him to continue.

“at the end, they aren’t a point, just a little under that, but noticeable enough.”

she nods along slowly. kokomi doesn’t answer him for a few moments, but when she sets down the weapon and takes off her glasses, she seems to have finally come to a conclusion.

“there is not much of a physical difference between these weapons and a normal one,” kokomi notes, a gloved hand reaching to pick up a normal weapon from beside her. she lines them up on the table as her gaze passes amongst them. “though kazuha has so far been right, these are merely manufacturing differences. the only way to truly distinguish the two kinds of weapons thus far has been through elemental aura.”

“the ones with delusions embedded in them have an undeniably different energy compared to those made of simple materials. to recreate these, i suppose we would need to embed them with some kind of elemental power.”

your brows furrow as a helpless breath escapes you.

“...and how would we be able to do such a thing?”

kokomi’s lips thin in concentration.

“I suppose…” her voice is light, contemplative. “we will likely have to embed some with power, likely from a vision holder.”

as you stand on the edge of a battlefield now, you know you are likely not cut out for her plan. there is a small sum of vision holders that reside in the resistance’s camp, and the average soldiers far outnumber any of you -- yet together, you, kazuha, gorou, and kokomi had been marked solely responsible for keeping the weapons constantly wrapped in elemental energy.

it was a necessary step, a precaution to hide your knowledge. because the moment kujou sara notices anything is amiss, she will surely twist it in her favour.

but you will personally see to it that she never does.

taking a quick look ahead of you at the soldiers that charge into the fray, you note the striking presence of their blades. hopefully, you’re able to avoid strain so the aura doesn’t waver.

gorou had greatly appreciated you offering to lead half of his men, effectively slicing the amount of work he needed to keep up with in half. but, it also required great effort to debate the spread of your efforts out further -- this battle is merely a ruse to convince kujou sara that her plan is working, so hopefully, no great strategy will be necessary.

“heads up!” a rough yet distinctly female voice comes from over your head, making you lift your eyes skyward. a grinning woman is hanging loosely by kazuha’s hands, who, judging by the swirl of maple leaves around him, is gliding with the strength of his vision. you smile as the woman plunges down by her claymore onto a group of shogunate soldiers.

kazuha lands unsteadily next to you, reaching out to you for support as his glider folds in. you catch him with a laugh..

“that’s beidou,” he begins, leaning onto your shoulder as he mirrors your smile. “she’s a good friend from liyue who insisted on helping.”

“the more help, the better!” you say, hand latching onto his waist to keep him upright. he stiffens for a moment, though the sensation is gone as quick as it had come -- rather, he seems to sink into your touch afterwards. it makes your cheeks blaze with a temperature you fully intend to blame on the anticipation of battle.

kazuha keeps his gaze on the conflict in front of you, on the weapons in the soldiers’ hands that swirl with your elements. perhaps you have been too focused on worrying about how other people see you to notice how kazuha sees you; even now, he is leaning onto you without a thought, and it strikes something inside of you to realise it.

there is no going back to the time you both left behind. though perhaps you’re capable of creating a better future together.

after kazuha catches his breath, he slips away from you with the thoughtful promise to be careful. it almost hurts to see him go. but, pinning it on turbulent emotions, you too set off in search of someone to assist.

you make your way to the front without even trying, rushing past each small skirmish in an attempt to be certain you’re holding up the hydro in the weapons well enough. even if your strength is wavering, your conviction is not.

every weapon remains in stable condition.

there’s no time to pat yourself on the back, though. because as you arrive in the front, you come face to face with just the person you’ve been avoiding. kujou sara’s eyes glint with the same concentrated sheen she always dons during combat.

she hasn’t seemed to notice you yet, and though you have an ample window to escape, you hesitate just a second too long. when she throws out her arm to command a flank, her gaze lands directly on you.

a frightening mix of rage and curiosity twists her features as she draws her bow. your eyes widen.

“kujou sara!” you shout with the dormant voice of a general, taking a step back. “do not make any rash decisions!”

you are in no place to order her around anymore, but you pray that she sees her old friend in you and grants you mercy. she does slowly lower her bow, but the contemplative look that runs through her eyes makes you doubt her intentions.

“you dare to show your face around me?” she challenges, taking powerful strides forward until she is nearly within touching distance. her bow is still tight in her hand.

“sara, what are you doing?” your brows furrow, she does not react. “are you really going to hurt me? you know what kind of person I am, i never could have stood going through with the things you were planning.”

her lips thin in contempt.

“yet you’re still here.” she nods, grip loosening on her bow enough for her to let out a sigh. “you still let your so-called comrades use the very weapons you threw away your life to protect them from.”

she believes it.

feigning a frown, you try to mimic hurt in your expression when in reality, you are over the moon.

“don’t — don’t pin such a thing on me. you know how desperate they are to gain the upper hand, there was no way for me to convince them of their danger.” eyes downcast, you swallow what you hope seems like a harsh lump in your throat. it takes everything you have to fight back a smile and keep the elemental energy centred at once.

kujou sara’s lips morph into a slight smirk, likely a jab at your suddenly disappointed composure.

“it has been a mere few months, but you have grown incompetent quickly.” the words are backed by bitterness, though you don’t think to pay any attention to it until she draws her bow. real fear runs through your veins as she draws it back, gritting her teeth.

“the shogun wants you alive, but you do not deserve even that.”

eyes widening, you attempt to draw your polearm — but by the time you reach back to draw the weapon, she will likely already have let the bowstring go. body stuttering, you throw your arms over your face in a last ditch attempt to protect yourself.

you hear the bowstring, and for the first time in a long while, you are terrified.

had she not believed you after all? had she harboured such a hatred for you because you had abandoned the shogun? there is no telling what kujou sara truly feels in the time you have left.

but your end never comes.

a sharp noise and flash of red comes to your aid. as you slowly lower your shaking hands, you are staring at the wide expanse of a back, belonging to the person who had drawn his sword to protect you. he holds it against his chest, blade steaming from the impact of the arrow’s tip.

kujou sara laughs. it is a wretched sound, a defeated sound.

“of course, it’s you.”

kazuha cracks a challenging smile. “my reputation seems to precede me.”

most likely not wanting to deal with the repercussions of strength in numbers, she draws back with the wanton shake of her head.

“we will meet again, ___. mark my words.”

with one last conflicting look in your direction, kujou sara turns her back and busies herself with another section of her army. ever the professional, it seems.

once she is out of view, kazuha immediately turns around to tend to you. his hands hover over you as his eyes search.

“i got here in time, right? you’re not hurt?” you’re about to answer before he takes your wrist, turning over and inspecting one of the arms you’d held up.

you can’t help but laugh at him, a giggle building up quickly in your chest. his eyes meet yours as it spills out, relieved.

“kazuha,” as your laugh draws out, you take his wrist in return. a startled flush paints his pale skin. “she believed me. she thinks the weapons are real.”

once your words register, he beams.

as soon as you’ve relayed the information to gorou, he wastes no time in pulling back the army into a retreat. there is a familiar and unmistakable happiness buzzing beneath his loud commands, and it gives the soldiers that know him well comfort.

as the day begins to decline, you retreat back to the resistance camp high on the feeling of undeniable success. not only is each soldier and strategist and general coming home alive, but you have also fulfilled the tedious plan of convincing the shogunate of your failure to stop the delusions from slipping through.

someone bumps your shoulder suddenly, and you look up to meet kazuha’s smiling eyes.

“you did it,” as kazuha laughs, a foreign emotion passes through his eyes. it delights you. “i’m proud of you, you’ve certainly come far.”

but along with your successes comes an even greater gain.

the resistance camp is a place where people tend to come and go, whether soldier, refugee, or even a special case such as yourself, the beaten dirt paths see many faces over time. but, while normally in passing, tonight it is unusually lively. cheers fill the small area, lighting up the normally sodden atmosphere with a spark of life.

it is a pleasantly warm night on yashori island, a comfortable temperature that reaches the deepest parts of you. the torches are also lit brightly around the drifting crowd, casting a haze that covers the impending night chill effortlessly.

as you take casual steps through the camp, you attempt searching for a familiar face. kazuha had been separated from you very quickly since you’d arrived, entertaining the wishes of a few soldiers he seemed to be acquainted with. he shot you an apologetic smile as he allowed himself to be dragged away, though truly, it was of no consequence.

despite the aloof attitude he carries, kazuha is undeniably quite popular among the younger members of the resistance.

but the appearances of everyone unfamiliar quickly blends together, making it impossible to determine whether the people you pass by are the same from earlier. kokomi had certainly outdone herself with the impromptu celebration, getting a bottle of beer into everyone’s grasp and leaving them for a night of relaxation -- an ample opportunity to boost morale, so to say.

yet just as you attempt to locate your friend again, you’re suddenly distracted by a hand on your arm. when you startle, gorou pulls back with quick remorse, even if the excited look in his eyes does not dissipate. the smile you give him is one you can’t help.

“___, come with me. quickly!” he pulls you around the crowd, and with one last look back in kazuha’s direction, you let your feet follow along, you are less thrilled when he gathers everyone’s attention.

“fellow soldiers and comrades!” gorou’s voice silences the roaring camp almost completely, bringing a frightfully aware flush to the tips of your ears. surely he doesn’t mean to congratulate you?

“we are here today thanks to the person who came forward even when she knew no one would believe her. her information has not only given us the upper hand, but also driven a serious blow into the tenryou forces!”

of course he means to congratulate you.

a surprising amount of cheers leave the dense crowd, some reluctant, some willing -- yet the one that stands out the most is kazuha, cheering with the same group of boys that had snatched him up earlier.

your heart constricts. it is a gesture you want to welcome with open arms, but there is a bitter feeling that ferments with worry in your gut. you had always been a bit of a pessimist, expecting the worst even if you yearned for the best — and you know well now that you can’t expect it from everything.

but there is something about kazuha’s behaviour that feels rushed; sudden and nearly unprompted. he had gone from carefully skirting around you to remaining by your side in all things he could, even when you had done nothing to warrant it.

it was something you had noticed beforehand, the shifting of his reactions — you’d held your polearm over his neck, for archon’s sake, and he had simply smiled at you.

forcing up your precarious smile once again, you wave gratefully to the crowd, to sedate their curiosity if nothing else. feeling appreciated and a tad reminiscent of the growth you’d undergone, you nod your sincere thanks to gorou. despite the compromising position, it was clearly a thoughtful effort.

when kazuha is in your line of sight again, your chest constricts. he has done nothing wrong and yet, you have thought to place a sudden distrust in him. it makes you no better than your worries.

“kazuha--!” you raise a hand, and you gain his attention fairly quickly. yet, yours is quickly snatched away as someone else calls your name. an unfamiliar face greets you jovially, speaking of their apologies and thanks to you for helping the resistance. the thought is touching, but, all you find yourself doing is nodding along as you shoot kazuha a regretful smile over their shoulder.

much to your displeasure, he waves you off, mouthing something so distinct you can’t help but shake your head.

enjoy yourself.

you bite the inside of your cheek as you thank the soldier in return, waving them goodbye just as another thinks to approach you.

how am i supposed to enjoy myself when the only thing i want to do is talk to you?

your heart constricts once again, but this time, it is for an entirely different reason.

countless people come up to you with their thanks, congratulations, and a few even attempt to pass along extra rations to your hand. through all of it, the person you want most to see busies himself patiently. you fight back a frown, though, and let yourself talk to the people that are now your comrades -- even if you’d had a rough start, it is never too late to pick yourself back up.

and that much is true over the next quarter hour. you spend every moment making conversation with people who had barely regarded you before, all the while keeping your gaze expertly averted from kazuha. one look and you know you’d excuse yourself regardless of the topic, and the acknowledgement of such a fact hurts.

you’d allowed yourself to care too much for him; what if his sudden attitude flip does turn out to hold malicious intent?

yet, despite such a possibility, kazuha has always been nothing short of kind, considering your wants and needs as if they were his own. he is calm and patient when regarding you, looking at you not as you remember, but in a way that you hope he will continue to -- it reminds you that you aren’t a child anymore, that times have long changed.

your heart pumps a telling beat as you recall some of his nicer deeds. kazuha truly has a heart that looks out for others, evident in even the man’s smallest gestures. when you had begun to get used to each other’s presence, he had recommended you personally as an addition to the resistance’s reconnaissance team, noting your professional skills.

occasionally, he is found wandering around the island, ducking between cave systems only to come back at the end of the day with numerous resources; those of which he usually kindly distributes to the camp. on one of those same nights, he had taught you how to roast lavender melons over the fire.

the memory of his hands over yours sets your cheeks ablaze.

reasonably, it makes no sense that he would have any contempt for you. or at least, it would certainly be an issue at such a point.

despite your hesitance, the moment you have a free hand, you dip away. if anyone attempts to stop you, you breeze past them, unaware. kazuha had hardly moved from the small circle of people he’d been cheering with, making it exceptionally easy to find him in the crowd. as soon as he sees you approaching, he breaks away and meets you halfway.

“there’s our little celebrity,” kazuha croons, a slow smile spreading across his lips as you laugh bashfully. “having fun without me?”

“of course,” your gaze shifts away from him shyly, and he notes the action as you shake your head. “but, anyways, can i… maybe steal you for a second? there’s somewhere i want to go with you.”

kazuha nods, falling into step beside you as you walk out of the wooden gate. “of course, is there an issue that’s come up?”

“no, nothing like that. it’s just…” you recount your thoughts with a wry smile. “i found a place a while ago, and i want to go there again.”

he follows you in silent understanding. you’re grateful he doesn’t ask questions, because you doubt you could answer any of them without him seeing straight through your resolve. the trek is by no means a difficult one. but, as you walk down the winding dirt path and over the weeds that flourish, kazuha holds your hand steady. it’s the small gestures.

at the foot of the hill the camp rests on is a small strip of beach, that of which faces almost directly north. the sunset paints the scene a gorgeous hue between orange and pink as the sun hangs low over the horizon. the atmosphere is warm, and the low tide nips at the sand.

you both settle down onto the rocks above the waves before you say, “you’ve probably been there a thousand times, right?”

he agrees. “but, it’s the first time i’ve been here with you.”

you nod with flushed cheeks, stretching your legs out and staring out ahead of you. if you look hard enough, you can see the outline of liyue harbour in the distance, far away yet still so close. with a heavy feeling in your chest, you realise that’s just how you’re treating the man sitting beside you.

“you know, i’ve been here before,” you begin, eyes trailing down to meet where your hands lay over your knees. “when i was with the shogunate, i had to scope out this area a lot.”

“we were that close, hm?” he hums, and the light tone sends a grimace to your face

“kazuha…” finally, you look up at him, smile apologetic. he meets your gaze with a confused stare. “ i think… i mean, i just think that it’s finally time for us to talk.”

he blinks for a few moments, before turning away, looking at the horizon with contemplative eyes.

“i suppose it is.”

you take a long breath, brows pinched slightly in apprehension.

“...when i first started working with the shogunate, despite the fact that i had said some horrible things to you, i was happy.” you admit, shrugging. kazuha watches the waves on the horizon as you speak, his averted gaze polite.

“i was so grateful to be there, and i thought that i had found what i would be doing for the rest of my life. but, not a single person had a connection to someone in the resistance. they couldn’t accurately choose what to do because they didn’t know the full story like i did.”

you sigh, voice going quiet. “and it was suffocating. i tried to fight for things that weren’t cruel. yet, I was ridiculed behind my back for having a connection to you in return. they said… they said that the only good choice i’d ever made was leaving you behind that night.”

“___…” a hand goes on your shoulder as the first tear falls.

“i tried so hard to ignore it.” you cry, wiping the back of your hand over your eyes. “but, even as i climbed the ranks, people still hated me for it.”

kazuha puts an arm around your back, rubbing soothing circles into your hip. he is hesitantly silent as your body wracks with tears, and it goes on like that for what seems like hours -- unconcrete words of comfort pass from his lips to you, though he has yet to say anything more.

“...did you ever believe that you had made the right choice? letting me go that night?” he finally whispers. your lip curls as another onslaught of tears attempts to break forth. adamantly, you shake your head.

“never.”

your gazes meet briefly, and the look of surprise that passes over his face at the sight of you is startling. you must be a pitiful visage, eyes red and skin puffy with regret.

“oh, ___…” he chastises you with a mumble, free hand coming up to thumb your tears away. you close your eyes shamefully. “i’m sorry.”

“...you told me back then in the tent that there was no need to apologise, why?” you slowly open your eyes again to meet his, brows dipping with your frown. “i want to apologise, because i made a mistake. kazuha, i wanted with everything in me to say yes. but i made the stupid decision of betting on an uncertain future rather than someone i know would never let me down.”

something in his composure shifts in that moment,

“that day… i should have done more. i’m sorry for saying things i didn’t mean, and i’m so sorry for prioritising my future over your friend’s life.” your head falls, but kazuha’s hand slides to pick you back up again, just as he always has. he makes you look him in the eye, his gaze searching through yours.

at last, he asks, “is that how you see it…?”

“you were only a soldier, forced to see the effects of his choice.” kazuha’s tone is soft as he shakes his head. “there was nothing you could have possibly done without incurring the wrath of the shogun. even then, you did what you could to let me escape. you chose what you thought was best, and i would never fault you for that.”

“i could have at least tried to hear you out…”

“you could’ve.” he nods. “but your stress was the reason for your harsh words, and i am not one to hold such grudges. you were going through things i couldn’t possibly understand.”

kazuha’s hand doesn’t falter under your chin as he smiles. “do not fault yourself any longer. you have expressed your apologies, and that is enough.”

you can’t help but smile through your tears, a small laugh escaping your throat. all these years, and you were just going to forgive me when i cry?

his intent towards you is nearly crystal clear, but a curious inkling still remains in your chest, begging to be set free.

“kazuha,” your eyes leave his, lifting in what he can only pin as nerves. “could i ask you something?”

when he nods, there is a certain look that passes through his eyes. you have seen it many times before — in the way he looks at inazuma’s many colours of the sunrise, or how his eyes glaze over with rapt attention when penning a poem.

it’s the very same way he gazes at things that catch his attention, at things he deems beautiful. but, it is different when it is directed at you.

“when i first came to the resistance camp, you seemed… unsure.” you start, brows pinching as he watches you with slight amusement. “that changed kind of suddenly, so i was just wondering, did something happen?”

“well,” he clears his throat, dropping his hand from your chin to cover his mouth. the arm he lays around your hip still remains. “to put it simply, i had never changed. you merely brought out the parts of me that had remained hidden for a long while.”

“___, meeting you again, it—“

“yo!”

startled, you both turn back to the source of the sudden call. gorou stands impatiently at the foot of the hill, one hand on his hip and the other waving you towards him.

“we’ve been looking for both of you!” he shouts, but even from a distance, you recognise the knowing gaze that lands on kazuha’s arm around your waist.

they share a brief glance, and realising what gorou must be thinking, you push kazuha away gently and stumble to your feet. “sorry, coming!”

there is no reason to be embarrassed -- it’s likely that most people are aware of your circumstances by now, yet you can’t help how aware you are of his contact. it is romantic in the same way that he wears his friend’s dead vision along with his own, in how his thoughts consider everything around him. he touches you easily, as if he’d never forgotten a single dip in your body.

with a laugh of friendly disbelief, kazuha allows you to stand.

you had thought that the beginning of the celebration was the worst, filled with those either half-drunk or looking to speak to you -- neither of which sound particularly fun to deal with. yet, even in the short time you’d managed to slip away, the crowd had somehow managed to become an unsavoury mix of both. perhaps it was only alcohol that could provide the confidence to give you pats on the back as you walked by.

there is an incomplete feeling in your chest, one that you do not dare to dwell on. it yearns for the very thing that you don’t want to get involved with, that you don’t want to risk changing the nature of -- kazuha had only just accepted your apologies, and empathetically, at that. so, for such feelings to flare up so quickly afterwards, it is cruelly timed.

pulling your collar slightly loose to beat the flush that creeps up your neck, your heart drops as someone catches your gaze. amongst the dense crowd, kazuha looks at only you, smiling as if the two of you share a secret. you shake your head with a small grin.

in a way, you suppose you do.

as the rest of the night passes, the long minutes are filled with merry conversation and even more drinking, which you frankly hadn’t thought possible. yet, despite the headache it causes, you cannot deny the contagious joy it passes on. you truly do feel the effects of victory by the time you are dipping into your tent for the night.

your thoughts bubble ever so slightly, thanks to the alcohol that has been passed to your hand -- while not enough to debilitate you, it is certainly enough to place a content buzz in your chest. you take a short peek outside before tying the strings of your tent shut for the night. the camp is finally quiet, deserted of all activity in favour of the night’s rest.

with a drawling smile, you knot the fabric shut and fall back onto the cot. it is no mystery to you any longer why these soldiers do what they do, and why the resistance’s forces are hardly seen giving up. opening your eyes once again, a quiet, bubbling laugh escapes your chest.

you are at last fighting for a side you can be proud of.

but, you are awoken all-too suddenly. a hand reaches for your shoulder with none of its familiar grace, shaking you awake fervently. startled, your eyes fly open to meet the crimson gaze of your trusted companion, that of which is panicked and rushed. dread seizes your veins as he pulls you up, hardly considering your processing state.

above anything else, it is kazuha’s careless gestures that tell you something is wrong.

“kazuha!” your hushed whispers seem to barely reach him as he pulls you forward. as your eyes adjust, you see the majority of familiar faces rushing around in a similar way, to exits, to the hills in the north -- some even retreat further into camp. yet, one thing all of these people seem to have in common is that they are running, and they are running from something that is near.

his hand tightens around yours as he stops suddenly, gauging his chances between the actions of others.

desperately, you step forward and shake him. voice quiet, you ask, “kazuha, what’s going on?”

he looks at you from the corner of his eye, lips moulding into a frown.

“it’s the shogunate, they’ve stormed the camp.” the words that leave his mouth are shocking, but they do not particularly surprise you. your brows pinch in distress, but kazuha notices this, squeezing your hand before making a break for it. there is no time to hesitate. you run alongside him in silent understanding -- whatever kujou sara has come for, it can’t be good for either of you.

taking the same path you’d traversed earlier in the night, you aren’t thrilled to find it empty.

inhaling a sharp breath, you dig your heels into the sand in an effort to stop kazuha. he whips around questioningly, but yields when seeing your apprehensive expression. “what is it?”

face wrinkling with worry, you frown. “we need to be careful, there must be a reason why this path is deserted.”

“we don’t have any other choice--”

“that, you do not.”

another voice interrupts you, and you have to resist closing your eyes in defeat. the telltale appearance of the tengu warrior is more than enough to seal your fate. you’d escaped her once, and you doubt it can be done again.

kujou sara sneers, an awful sound that tells you everything you need to know. it was too soon to celebrate your victory against such a person.

“i was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt earlier, ___. but, you lied to me.” when she takes a threatening step forward, kazuha puts an arm across you. frowning, she ignores it. “not only did you think you could trick me by faking the fatui’s weapons, but you thought that you could trick the raiden shogun. this was your final mistake.”

kujou sara draws her bow before you can even process her actions. “i told you that i would come back for you. and i am here to deliver the news that you are no longer a deserter, but a traitor. consorting with the enemy and conspiring against those you ally with is not something that the shogun will stand for.”

she takes a decisive breath. “and i will not either.”

she lets go of the bowstring without remorse, the surety of the arrow cutting through the air.

you know immediately what will happen, but you are too slow to stop kazuha from stepping further in front of you. horror dons your features as the arrow pierces his upper chest, his body mindlessly protecting yours without even a word. kazuha stumbles before you with a reassuring smile still on his lips, head shaking as if to tell you he is okay.

but the grey fabric of his shirt quickly stains a gruesome red, suggesting otherwise. as kazuha drops to a knee in front of you, there is a gut-wrenching grunt that leaves his mouth. your mouth drops open in panic. it is one thing to see him walking away from you, but death is not so temporary -- if you let him slip from your grasp this time around, you will get no second chances.

swallowing thickly, a sheen goes over your vision as his hand reaches up to grasp yours. perhaps it is meant to be a comfort for both of you, but rather, it serves as a reminder. kazuha is the only person who had stayed with you continuously, regardless of how you saw each other.

his saccharine smile appears in your memory once more, and foolishly, you let yourself believe that you will see it again. you may not deserve it, but kazuha is someone that you cherish, and will not leave behind.

something sweet begins to bloom in your chest at that moment, and you release a breathless laugh of disbelief. kazuha has certainly never made things easy for you, though he is, at the very least, talented in unearthing your true thoughts.

as your lips thin, the reluctant notion goes through your head -- you are in love with kaedehara kazuha, and you cannot lose him again.

carefully, you help him fully to the ground, unaware of the hot tears that prick your vision.

“please,” you cry, messily shrugging off your jacket to wrap around the arrow that has pierced his skin. it’s the very same he had taped over when you’d first arrived, though it serves a much darker purpose now. there is nothing to secure it with but your shaking hands, though even they will become shortly useless. kujou sara’s presence is overwhelming. amidst the tears you shed and kazuha’s shallow pants, she is stone-faced.

“please,” you repeat shakily, a careful hand cupping his cheek. “stay calm, i can help you. we can do this.”

stiffly, he nods, and your chest tightens.

you shoot a furious look up at kujou sara, though you refuse to take your eyes off of kazuha for a moment longer than necessary. “he has nothing to do with this!”

there is a tinge of recognisable regret in her expression, though she attempts to hide it with the stern set line of her mouth.

looking away, she huffs slightly. the soldiers behind her ruffle at the sudden show of displeasure. “it was his own choice to shoulder the blow, not mine.”

expression twisting in anger, you attempt to stand — to pay sara her dues, to enact revenge on kazuha’s behalf, anything that would solve the seething irritation in your veins, you consider carrying out. yet, as you lift yourself up to one knee, a hand is quick to catch your wrist.

your expression droops as your gaze finds kazuha’s. his eyes on you are unwavering, determined to get a point across even as his voice fails him.

when he ascertains that he has your attention, he shakes his head in silent disapproval.

“stop, listen.”

your mind is in a state of buzzing static, yet you still attempt to follow his instruction. it’s a challenge to hear anything above the incessant beat of waves against the sand, though slowly, another prickling sensation begins to fade in. your head whips around at the abrupt pattering sounds, that of which are indescribable until gorou and a few soldiers in company appear in front of you.

startled, your light grip over the clothed arrow below kazuha’s collarbone falters. yet he still keeps his hand dutifully on your wrist, effectively stopping you from tipping backwards and taking him with you. more tears come to your eyes at the absurdity of it all.

“...are you alright?”

carefully readjusting your hands on the fabric over his chest, you watch for any ticks of pain in kazuha’s expression. when you find none, you let out a shuddering breath as you let your tears spill. for his sake, you croak out a laugh even as his worried eyes attempt to catch yours.

“i think i should be the one asking you that.”

in front of you, gorou engages kujou sara.

“have you no respect?!” he demands, throwing out an arm over the both of you. you shrink back under the pressuring atmosphere, tending to kazuha silently,

“this woman was one of your own for years, and yet you’ll throw her away so casually?”

kujou sara’s brow wrinkles. “you know nothing about her.”

“i know enough.” his expression is hard as he locks gazes with the woman across from him. yet, bravely, he is the first to break eye contact, turning back to address you while leaving his soldiers to fend off the tengu general.

gorou’s face melts into a more sympathetic guise the moment he meets your eye, throat tightening as he looks at his friend in the dirt.

as if unsure, he asks, “...can you get him somewhere on your own?”

readily wiping your tears with the back of your hand, you nod. “of course, yeah.”

gorou watches your hesitance as you murmur a few words of encouragement to kazuha where he lies on the ground. you seem reluctant to move him, though he is well aware it’s not because you don’t want to -- you are likely afraid of hurting him, even if carrying him to the side is well within your strength.

but, just as he steps forward to offer a hand, you surprise him yet again. sinking to your knees, the communication between you and kazuha is quiet but clear, resulting in the slow rising of your bodies together. your face is still red with tears as you take a peak back at gorou, though he returns it with a soft smile.

“go,” gorou says, helping kazuha by readjusting his arm to rest tighter over your torso. “i’ll let kokomi know you’re on your way.”

he lets you go as you nod.

it is a perilous walk back up to camp, filled with the silence and your hard breaths. you don’t have the heart to even look down at kazuha’s injury, but gorou’s promise to send kokomi keeps your hopes high enough. the only thing that keeps you going up the hill is the shaky breathing that reaches your ear, showing the man’s telltale signs of life.

when you reach the main rendezvous point of the resistance camp, you can't help but stumble to a stop. not even you are accustomed to carrying the weight of two bodies at once. looking around desperately for the pink-haired strategist, your heart drops when you notice that the area is completely empty, devoid of life.

“kazuha,” your voice shakes as you turn your head to peek at his expression. fear seeps through your veins as you realise how low his eyes droop, and how slow his reaction time has become. “kazuha, please.”

abandoning your plan of waiting for kokomi, you lower him to the ground where you stand.

crawling delicately over his torso, you settle over his waist before adjusting your temporary wrap -- the fabric of your jacket has been dyed a gruesome red almost completely through. sobs wrack your body as your mind goes blank, searching for a solution that you do not have.

“___…?”

your eyes shoot open at the quiet utter of your name. kazuha’s chest comes to life once again with fast breaths, eyes opening suddenly to hold yours.

chest freezing in shock, a lonely cry leaves your mouth as you lean forward to cup his cheek. “oh, kazuha. kokomi is on her way, you only need to wait a bit longer. is it… uncomfortable?”

you try to motion to where your jacket winds around the arrow tightly, but you can barely stand the sight of it. a knowing smile quirks at his lips as an unsteady hand comes up to lay over yours, brows knitting with pain.

“it’s enough for now.” he reassures.

lips thinning in an attempt to stop the tears that threaten to burst, you quietly admit, “kazuha, i can’t accept that.”

intermittently deciding to search for something else to cover him with, you take off another layer with a silent huff. it leaves you only in an undershirt, but any loss of your dignity is well worth kazuha’s life.

tying it slowly around the parts that seem to ooze, kazuha watches you with care.

“kazuha,” your lips thin into a line as you fingers weave through the knots, anxiety raising into your throat. “i love you, and i’m sorry that i can’t do more for you. but, i won’t lose you again.”

an uncharacteristic smile spreads across his lips, his forearm lifting to cover his eyes. but, despite the action, it is a sad smile; one devoid of expectation or hope. and it breaks your heart to look down at the wrapping over his collar and know exactly what kazuha is thinking.

“do you--” he stops himself, “do you know why i asked you to come along with me that day? in inazuma city?”

“no.” you shake your head.

the offer had seemed sudden, but rather than anything else, you had always thought to pin it as a reckless decision made after his friend had met an unfortunate end. seeing you in the uniform of the very god that had taken a life close to him, it was more than enough of an excuse to warrant such a thing. but kazuha’s shadow of a smile now suggests otherwise.

“…i merely couldn’t figure out another way to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.” he admits, a sob lining his voice. softly, you shush him as your tears spill respectively. “all i knew was that i didn’t want to lose you to the shogun. we were only kids, but i loved you. and in some way or another, i have never stopped.”

a slight laugh poking through your resolve, you shake your head.

“then tell me again when you’re certain you can continue.” you say softly, sniffling as your hand raises to thread through his hair. kazuha’s forearm drops back to his side, and for the first time in a long time, you cry together.

kokomi arrives not long after, taking kazuha into her care almost immediately. there had been similar casualties on the other routes of escape, ones that she had already partly tended to. but, noting your frazzled state, she explains these things to keep you distracted rather than leaving you to your own devices. kazuha had since gone unconscious, confined to his own tent due to the nature of his injury -- while grave, the placement of the arrow had been a fortunate one. it lodged directly below his collarbone, but it was short of going clean through his lung thanks to only one rib.

you shudder to think what could have happened had kazuha been off even an inch.

there is nothing you can do but keep him in your thoughts. but, knowing that he is in the hands of a friend calms you. there is no one more capable than kokomi when it comes to piecing things back together, after all.

the sickbeds are nearly all taken by the time the sun begins to rise, filled with soldiers that had encountered the wrath of the shogunate. as you sit beside her, you share what kujou sara had said to you offhandedly.

“i’m a traitor in kujou sara’s eyes, and she came back for me.” you say, eyes still puffy from crying as you stare at nothing. “i should take responsibility for kazuha, it’s only the right thing to do.”

adamantly, kokomi shakes her head. “while this was inevitable, you were not the only one who assumed we were in the clear.”

with a slight sigh, her hands flex over an unnamed wounded soldier, hydro slowly healing the flesh wounds they had sustained. you watch her absentmindedly, shrugging.

“maybe so. but there was only one person who shot that arrow at kazuha.” you grumble.

countless times, you had debated telling kokomi about what kazuha had said to you, about the conversation you’d shared in what could have been his last moments. yet, there is something in the downset concentration of her eyes on you that tells you she has already guessed. kokomi clears her throat, shrugging a kink out of her shoulders.

“well, kujou sara is far away now. besides, i heard that wasn’t quite the case. rather than aiming for him, she aimed for you. but he had stepped in, isn’t that right?”

you sigh, “...gorou told you?”

a small smile curls her lip. “this is why i am confident when i say that it is not your fault. kazuha took an arrow to the chest for you, that is not something someone does on a whim.”

you wave her off as an embarrassed flush captures your face. kokomi chuckles, shaking her head as her eyes remain on you teasingly. finally choosing to spare you, she asks you to hand off some medical supplies in her stead.

the rest of your day is filled with similarly mundane tasks, things given to you by a variety of faces. there is no telling what they assume about your drooping state, but whether they pity you for kazuha’s sake, or find it in themselves to criticise you for your negligence, it is pointless to take it to heart.

yet when you finally have a free hand, you wish you could be back under the gaze of even someone who blames you. because, it is much worse to be left alone with your thoughts.

it’s what pushes you in the direction of kazuha’s tent initially. you had been avoiding it out of guilt, not wanting to see him in such a state despite all of kokomi’s reassurances that his condition is stable.

it’s not that you don’t believe her — kokomi’s word is law to even you now, and she would not lie to cushion any blows. but there’s something about seeing him that itches an insecurity in you, something that you can’t quite pinpoint until you’re standing in the tent, overlooking him.

we were only kids, but i loved you. and in some way or another, i have never stopped.

if he had loved you all this time, how many crucial hours had you spent thinking otherwise? hell, you’d been caught up in worries that he was plotting against you mere hours ago. all of the mistakes, all of the misunderstandings, you fear that you will never get that time back.

because while the colour has returned to kazuha’s skin, and the arrow is snipped down to a more manageable length, his life and your reconciliation still hangs in the balance so long as his eyes are closed.

taking a seat on the ground next to him, you mindlessly pull the blanket further over him. kazuha’s face is completely still, and betrays no secrets. you have not once been honest with each other, not until last night. it had taken the fear of death to push you together, but to think you relied on such an extreme—

you cut your thoughts off with the slight shake of your head. despite your blunders of the past, no longer are you at an arm’s distance, and no longer can your mistakes hold you back.

so long as kazuha recovers, you will take your second chances together.

keeping the image of his peaceful face in your mind, you head off to your own tent before anyone can wrangle you into something else. you are still apprehensive to the idea of wallowing in your regrets, so, you choose to bide your time with a more personal matter.

hesitantly, you pull a slightly crumpled envelope from the pocket of the bag you had brought along with you. it contains items you’d been too afraid to look at in the past couple of months — a ritou maple leaf laminated into a personal gift, enhancing potions you had received from the shogunate, even a yellowed picture of you and kujou sara sits folded in a pocket.

but, the envelope you search for is a more recently acquired item. addressed to you and neatly sealed, kazuha’s last anonymous letter to you glares from your hands. wincing in anticipation, you tear open the letter as you would rip a bandage from a wound. kazuha’s handwriting is small and neat, curving just as you remember it to.

to my dearly detested,

a smile tugs at your lips as you recall the joking nickname he had reserved for your letters, referencing your rocky ruse in a way only the two of you could recognise.

i hope this letter finds you in good spirits. even if your most recent escapades have failed, you will surely have another chance to best us soon. today’s subject is different from our normal topics, though, i do believe it is a necessary side to share with you.

you are well aware of my inclination to share things with you, so i will not hold back my offer to you this time. i am using this letter as an excuse to ask you to reconsider your position before there is no turning back. i don’t know how strong your ties to the raiden shogun are, and they may have grown stronger over these years, for all that i know. but if you are the same person i remember, it is worth a shot.

your lips curls into a frown. you had known your position for such a long time, yet your hesitance had kept kazuha in such a similar state of unawareness. just how long had he assumed that he would need to work from zero with you — that you were so far gone, the only feasible way to propose such a thing was through writing?

you have been forgiven for many moons now. while i wish to tell you this in person, it may very well be correct for me to assume that i will never get the chance. so, please, let me have your attention for one minute longer.

looking up with a frown, you bite into your nails with rapt nerves. you had somehow managed to misread the situation horribly enough to create an entirely new portion of setbacks. kazuha never acted hot and cold with you; he was only uncertain of your feelings on the matter. kazuha had even outright asked you if you had read the letter, yet foolishly, you had brushed it off as a jab.

closing your eyes, you groan into your palm.

if you are still reading, i thank you. for a long time, i was too bitter to even write to you. your words were heavy and carried weight that i doubt you were aware of -- i trusted them as if they were natural, even as i should have recognised your anger instead. while you were in no position to say such a thing, i was in so position to make such a selfish offer.

for throwing away so much time, i am truly sorry. if there is even a small part of you that anticipates these letters, that wants to smile as you read these words, please return. you may laugh at me, you may hate me for taking so long to say this. but, please, grant me the chance to apologise. i miss you. we have much to catch up on, but rather than merely saying that, i will look forward to hearing from you, no matter your choice.

the absence of a signature is for the purpose of privacy, but the small doodle of a maple leaf by the final word acts as a replacement. the lines are slightly shaky, as if he had been nervous when penning the drawing.

you make your way to kazuha’s tent fairly quickly after you finish reading, pocketing the letter carefully. as you pull back the tent flap, you’re surprised to see kokomi already beside him.

eyes widening, she tosses you a small wave with one hand. the other is laid delicately over kazuha’s chest, a tiny jellyfish made of concentrated hydro energy healing the larger parts of his wound. you quickly fall to your knees next to kokomi, watching her vision work with curious eyes. now that you are completely awake, it is a different sight.

it’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. if you look closely, you can almost pick out how the skin threads itself back together, gradually filtering out the blood that had dried in its place. there is a fine line of sweat on kokomi’s brow, though she seems to be making good progress.

“how long have you been at this?” you ask curiously, quirking a brow when she releases a nervous laugh.

“i haven’t been keeping a particular time, though i will do it as long as i have to.” kokomi nods. “not only has kazuha done so much for me, but i also cannot possibly let him go when someone is waiting for him to come back.”

your ears heat up quickly, and she laughs again, though the sound is considerably more joyful. “there is no need to hide such things from me. i’m only relieved that you have finally resolved your troubles.”

with the slight exasperated shake of your head, you shrug.

“well, i certainly won’t stop you if you’re so inclined.”

kokomi stays beside him as promised, and you talk well into the night, monitoring kazuha’s progress closely together. at one point, kokomi becomes too exhausted to keep up in conversation, though because she insists you keep talking, you inform her of what exactly had happened between kazuha and you.

you tell her how you had met him when he was still part of a noble family as a child. that after his clan was cut down, the responsibility of keeping him alive as a teenager fell to you, his old friend. you laugh with kokomi as you recount how kazuha’s first couple of years as a young wanderer were rough at best, but your fisherman family had been the people he needed to confide in.

“what a heart-warming story,” she muses, a small smile pursing her lips. you smile and agree.

but, the story grows dark fast. your sudden job with the shogunate didn't upset him in any way at first, but the day that his friend had died at the hands of the raiden shogun changed everything. you tell kokomi about the fight you’d had, his sudden affiliation with the resistance, the continous letters back and forth, even about his recent sudden confession in the face of death.

“and i suppose that is the long version of why we’re here today.” kokomi nods to kazuha’s peaceful face, before leaning back to shoot you a sympathetic look. “i’m so sorry, ___.”

you wave her words off, eyes trailing to kazuha’s collar. his kimono had been pulled down under his arm, as well as the creatively placed piece of armor over his arm removed, to give the healer a more direct point of access, and it gives you a clear view of his skin now. all evidence of an injury was completely wiped away in the tedious process, except for the faint memory of the arrow’s entry point, marked by a small scar.

“you’ve nearly completely cleared the wound.” you say quietly, amazed. “if anything, i should be apologising to you for all of the hard work you’ve had to do.”

kokomi’s smile is pleasant. “you’re very kind, ___. i’m sorry to hear about your circumstances, you both truly deserve this ending.”

nodding, a warm feeling spreads throughout your chest. you had made so much progress with the woman beside you, you are almost inclined to wonder how you ever saw her as an enemy at all. touched by her words, you return the smile. “yeah. i hope so.”

inevitably, kokomi doesn’t finish patching up kazuha until long after the sun sets. you both are dreary by that point, exhausted by the day’s respective duties -- yet, when she offers to walk you back to your tent for the night, you still refuse.

“i… want to be here when he wakes up.” you admit, slightly embarrassed as you let out a quiet laugh. her lips thin into a sweet smile as she stands up, wiping her hands together. it doesn’t take her long to understand, and sweetly, she leaves you with a wish of good luck.

as she leaves, you turn back to kazuha. he lays unobstructed on a tatami mat, chest rising and falling slowly in an unwavering beat, showing once and for all that he is alive, and he will live to see another day. you shiver as you reach for his hand that peeks from beneath the blanket. though, much to your dismay, he does not show any signs of recognising the touch.

the silence is deafening as you wait on and on for any further action from him, though after what feels like hours of nothing, you cannot help but succumb to sleep as well. you fall asleep with your head leaning on the sturdy fabric of the tent, kazuha’s hand tight in yours even the cold air of a draft circulates around you.

you wake peacefully this time around, the next morning arriving alarmingly fast. but, a silent coughing breaks you out of your stupor quickly. your heavy gaze attempts to adjust to the light as someone leans forward, running a light thumb over your brow.

“you’re finally awake?” the person muses, their voice tinged with a curious happiness. a smile melts your expression even before your vision clears.

smiling, you whisper, “kazuha… how are you feeling?”

“very well,” he says, hand dropping as his head tilts slightly with a smile. “thanks to you.”

giddy with relief, you waste no time in all but tackle the man in an embrace. though thankfully, he laughs along with your actions, returning your affections easily as his arms wrap around you. the blanket tangles around your intertwined limbs as you dip your head into his chest, careful to avoid his previously injured area even if it is healed - kazuha doesn’t seem to notice your superstition.

“you know, i finally read your letter,”

faltering slightly, kazuha leans his head back in an attempt to get a look at your face. begrudgingly, you let him take your chin in his hand. his brow quirks.

“and? your answer?”

incredulously, your eyes narrow teasingly.

“i refuse,” you begin, hand wandering up to cup his cheek. the adoration in his eyes that follows your actions, it is so pure, so unadulterated that it nearly knocks the wind out of you. “we’re obviously beyond saving, kazuha, can’t you see?”

a grin sits on kazuha’s lips as he pulls you to rest over him, brushing a lock of hair from your view as his eyes take in every last bit of your face. he memorises it like he might need to let go of you at any second -- though, remembering the contents of his last letter to you, perhaps the theory isn’t so far-fetched.

“i love you, ___.” he confesses to you gently, eyes gazing into yours with utmost trust. “and i will continue to for the rest of my days, so long as you let me.”

a pleased flush spreads across your face as you recall the promise you had made the night before, leaning down to let your lips hover over his. “i will, and i will love you back a thousand times over.”

kazuha smiles into you as he finally kisses you, capturing your lips in his with the power of a thousand unsaid words.

the cliche threads of fate are often loose; pulled thin by high expectations or strained by mistakes. people fall out, people become enemies, and those same threads go rotten just as fast as they had been created. but, the same cannot be said about the winds -- different to each individual, it is unique in the way it will endlessly connect two people together, regardless of the paths they take apart.

and the man who travels with the wind will never harm you.

Vigil ✤ Kazuha

V i g i l

A/N: Here is the Kazuha angst, sweeties :')) I wrote this with my prepared angsty playlist hehe- I.. well, my heart cracked..

✤ She/her

Words: 3.9k

"Text in this format means dialogue in flashback!"

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

The memory of peering into the crib with excited blabbers remains fresh, untarnished with the passing of time.

It feels like it’s just yesterday when your mother reached for the wailing baby laying inside to hand him in your caring touch.

“This is your little brother, [Name].” you squealed when the boy clung unto your finger, “His name is Kazuha. Be a good sister for him, understand?”

“Yes!”

Ah, that did feel as if it was just yesterday.

“Nee-chan!”

Dropping the basket of laundry, you frantically looked around.

“Nee-chan!”

“Kazuha-!?”

He was sprinting, arms flailing as tears spilled past his eyes and panicked exclaims left his lips. His friend was chasing him from behind, laughing as he waved an undercooked fish—your brother’s worst nightmare.

Comedic but understandable.

“Tomo’s making me eat it!” your younger brother mumbled behind you, pointing accusingly towards his friend who sheepishly spluttered excuses at your stern gaze.

Taking the skewered fish in Tomo’s hands, you hummed, patting his and Kazuha’s heads.

“How about I cook something for the both of you, instead? How’s that sound?”

“Yes, please! Nee-chan’s cooking is the best!”

You can never get tired of cooking for the two of them, even if your sibling eventually asked to be taught, you find yourself still taking over cooking duty. Lovingly whipping up dishes is your forte.

It stuck around when the household eventually lost the attending servants following the fall of the Kaedehara clan. It even stuck through the grim times of your parents’ passing.

Kazuha had went through so much at a young age, changed little by little—and you aren’t oblivious to it. With his growth, you are a witness to his budding shell of maturity.

Single years fold into a decade and all of a sudden, the mirthful silverette who doesn’t last a day without calling you ‘big sister’ has grown up.

Far too quickly, to be honest, but who are you to hold him back?

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,” you laugh jokingly, “My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

He stares at the plates of food you set on the dining table, his sigh small and feeble as you continue gushing. Albeit he has a smile on his face, it appears tight. Forced.

But you turn a blind eye to that—you’ve always been doing it.

Now, however, it seems that your brother has grown tired of humoring you. It has been going on for too long.

“I’m not some child anymore..” his monotonous voice is so unlike him—it’s as if he no longer is the person you grew up with.

Having him address it bluntly prompts you to pause, the only sound being the sizzling of unagi meat, frying to perfection. The richness of its color, however, dulls when you process what your sibling has mentioned.

As if its vividness is an illusion meant to shield you from present-day reality.

Still, you shake it away, keeping the smile on your face as you set the fried meat on a new plate, turning to put it down on the table beside the other dishes.

“Oh, Ka-“ you stop, seeing the look in his eyes.

The way his carmine optics bore against your [c]s is foreign.

It’s scary.

It’s different. It’s new.

You sit down in front of him, trying not to show how restless you’ve become. Such an attempt is futile, of course, since you’re in front of the person you’ve been with for years.

“Kazu-“

Thud!

Silence zips your lips when he lays his chopsticks down. It isn’t by any means a slam—but someone like Kazuha doesn’t need to be outright with anything in order to express a negative opinion.

“So please refrain from initiating unnecessary coddling,” he cuts you off with a swivel as he leaves for the door. “I have grown up now, sister. I... need you less.”

What?

A multitude of emotions hit you at once, all coming from his sudden statement that feels like it can tear you apart. But oh—who were you kidding?

You know that this will eventually come.

The very day where he admits that he is capable of being alone. Without you.

The opening of the door causes you to stand from your chair, “Wait!”

He does as you said but doesn’t look back. His hand remains on the handle of the knob, unchanging of his decision to leave.

You tug the black and red scarf from your neck, inching close to the man so you can wrap it around his neck. “It’s cold outside.. won’t you at least eat something?”

It takes him a moment to respond—but his decision does not change.

He detangles the fabric on his neck and, without looking you in the eye, sets it in your hand, rejecting your offer.

“Later.”

And he’s gone.

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Nothing changed much after he left with that declaration.

Often times he still returns in the dead of night, a smile on his face. It will only ever droop when you come in the room greeting him a lovely evening, and he will sigh.

“I told you not to wait up for me.”

He will depart for his room before he can hear your explanation.

It leaves you hanging, hollow with bitter hope and refusal to believe that you both have reached that time in life where he doesn’t need you as much.

Each time he turns his back, you are filled to the brim with sorrow you didn’t know you’re capable of holding.

Retreating to the upper floor of your home, you will stay at the balcony sighing your concerns away to the stars. To the place where you believe your parents are staying, listening to your bouts of frustration and worry.

“Was I a good sibling for him, mother? Father?” you’ll sometimes mutter as you play with your silver locks, the only thing you share with your sibling other than the forgotten name of a once esteemed clan.

And as you vent all these to the stars, you remain oblivious to the lone figure hiding by the shadows in the adjacent room. His frown is tiny. Sad, but not guilty.

Kazuha will leave once again before he’ll hear his sister’s frustrated cries.

Sometimes, he will chew over it when he is wandering Inazuma—thinking, pondering if perhaps there could’ve been a way to say it without hurting his sibling. But as he contemplates over and over, he finds that there is no easy method to admitting the truth.

His friend Tomo, albeit not being told anything, is naturally cognizant of the things revolving around the silver-haired siblings. The older sister’s presence has been diminishing and he can count her appearances at Kazuha’s side getting less.

He has implied several times to make up with the female even if they had no outright argument, and when faced with a baffled question of ‘why’, Tomo only smiles.

“Because you’re family.”

So simple and yet—when Kazuha thinks of the matter a minute longer, the taste in his tongue becomes acrid.

“What upsets you?” his friend questions as he coos over his white feline, “You’re not the Kazuha who’s always crying for big sister, heh.”

The silverette cannot even find it within him to send a retort. His silence, to others, is a message that typifies a want to be alone—but to Tomo, who has known him since they’re both children, that silence is different.

With a hum, he stretches his limbs, yawning as his cat rolls around the grass.

“You know, [Name] won’t hate you for wanting it,” he starts, “You want to wander, don’t you? But you feel like you’re tied down. You’re grounded—because [Name] is here.”

Kazuha flinches and his friend snickers.

Spot on.

“I’m just going to repeat what I said because I meant it, Kazuha. Tell her the truth. She’s literally the most understanding person I know—it’s not like she’s going to despise you for wanting something.”

“… I’ll think about it.”

Tomo sighs. It’s not what I was hoping for but it’s a start.

Remembering something that moment, Tomo lets out a loud scream that nearly sent his friend toppling in the nearby stream of water. Kazuha looks on with slightly wide eyes as the other man jumps to his feet, violet eyes gleaming.

“Oh, right! I plan to initiate another challenge!”

Another challenge…

Kazuha closes his eyes with a hum, “I do hope you’ll last another. You’ve been faced with the worst of the worst.”

The chuckles that leave his friend’s lips are excited and sort of expectant.

“It’s going to be the ultimate one of all! So if you’ll excuse me~”

≿————- ❈ ————-≾

Perhaps a talk with your brother will do you both good.

You’ve both been acting like strangers walking on eggshells underneath the same house and it is driving you insane. He’s not even looking you in the eye anymore!

Given his quiet personality, confrontation will be difficult, but he’s a cooperative person. Besides, he always hears you out.

There isn’t any reason for him not to when he knows that this will be done only for the betterment of the future.

So, with a nervous disposition but eager heart to settle things right, you lift the basket from its place with plans to head over to the market. It’s an hour or two before dusk, just the perfect time to shop for dinner.

“Mm.. some dry-braised salted fish for tonight sounds lovely.” You muse, remembering how the dish is your brother’s favorite.

Ah, the number of tries he takes to perfect and stylish it into his own can’t be forgotten.

It doesn’t take too long to cook it, but you’ll be making tons of other side dishes and dessert, so it’s best to start early!

You exit the abode, the smile on your face present as ever even when you’re greeted outside by a couple of Shogunate Soldiers. Their features appear sterner, their hold on their naginata rock solid.

“Are you Kaedehara [Name]?”

Hm?

“Yes. Can I help you?”

The soldiers lunge forward, spears falling to a position pointing at you from all possible angles, cutting any means of escape as you furrow your brows. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Your brother has defied the Decree of the Shogun and was hereby declared a criminal. Going against an Imperial Decree results in punishment inclusive to his immediate family.”

Your basket falls to the ground.

Thud!

Kazuha’s feet create a loud sound following his landing, a breath of panic expelling past as he rushes away.

The warmth in his hand escalates to a scalding degree, burning and searing like the fading power of Electro held within the golden casing.

To think that that was what Tomo meant.. !

He does not feel anger, no, just the burn of desperation and want to hide his friend’s Vision because he doesn’t want it to be taken away—to be placed in that statue that displays the lost ambitions of many others.

He’ll be damned before the Shogunate can take it… !

The criminal evades those at his tail, making swift maneuvers on rooftops and alleys without a second thought. His limbs are answering his every command, be it to duck, to jump—or to even draw his blade.

He is still ways away from the port but getting there won’t prove to be too complex for someone like him. He’s cut down plenty of the samurai in his escape from Tenshukaku,

Tomo…

“You’re family. Tell her.”

Family—

“This is the first one in a long time I’ve heard of it being extended-! To whom again? The clan that has lost its prestige a decade ago, right?” he almost trips in his sprinting, darting to an alleyway so he can further eavesdrop.

Did I hear that correctly?

A relieved sigh escapes when those chasing him run past his hiding spot.

Sucking in his breath, the silverette tightens his grip on the faded Vision of his best friend as he listens in the hushed conversation.

“Be quiet!” someone hisses, “If someone overhears us, what next? Still, I do feel bad.. they lost so much already. I can’t believe they’d drag an innocent person into it, too..”

“Well, there’s nothing we can do. The Shogun issued the penalty to immediate families, right? As far as I know, there are only two Kaedeharas left—”

Kazuha feels his heart stopping. Kaede..hara?

There’s no mistaking it.

But why—?

Why would a punishment meant for him extend to her?

She’s innocent!

Going off-course, he sprints in the direction of his house. The house that he lives in with his sister who takes great care of him—the same sister he’s willing to leave in favor of chasing what he wants in life.

He’s willing to, but he doesn’t.

Because perhaps—perhaps if he stayed and buried his desire, then he will amount to the same greatness she has done for him. But he cannot stand it, either. As patient as he is, as kind and ‘gentle’, [Name] can always see through his face.

He’s always been antsy—always itching to wander and he’s stumped that his sister is well-aware of that fact. Still, she’s always playing the ignorant one, pretending not to care- still coddling him as if he’s little and he’s had… enough of it.

But now that the situation has pinned this misfortune upon them, the ronin realizes that she’s only pretending for his sake, as well.

“Cut that out, I don’t need it. I fear that.. you will only embarrass yourself.”

Wasn’t it him who refused to tell her of his want to roam free in the first place?

“I understand that I am your brother—but there is no need to worry over me all the time. I can look after myself, [Name]. Do worry about something else, instead.”

Wasn’t it him who stuck around, still?

The bitterness in his tongue increases with each leap of his feet. He doesn’t even process the race of his heart as he’s carried through the same path that leads him home. To his family—to his only sister.

Everything seems to pass by slowly, in a blur, like the specks that decorate his vision the more his mind throws stacks and stacks of memories. This is madness.

Complete and utter madness.

He rounds the corner to see the figure of his only sibling, her back turned to him—she cannot see him, but he can see the armed soldiers flanking around her.

His throat tightens and certainly, he wouldn’t have been able to utter a word due to how it feels like his throat has been crushed.

“[Name]!”

Yet, the furious scream that tears past his lips denies all kinds of ‘impossibility’ the instant he sees the female falling to the ground, the sight of red splatter making him draw his blade.

Whoosh!

The summoned wind is opposingly gentle to the brewing storm in someone’s beautiful carmine eyes.

“[Name]-.. !”

That voice.. Kazuha?

Sometimes, the depth of emotion in Kazuha’s eyes is too deep for you to understand. Despite being so silent, he’s so, so expressive with his stares.

That even when he isn’t trembling when he lifts your torso, you know how much he’s quaking from within.

“What are you.. doing here? You have to go,” you cough red when he adjusts you in his arms, the sight of the fallen soldiers reminding you of the situation at hand. “Quick—before they.. catch you.”

He shakes his head,

“I’m taking you with me, I have a boat prepared, come, let’s—”

“Don’t lie to me, Kazuha.”

He pauses, flitting his gaze down to meet yours. You hate how you can’t seem to focus on him, though. Your sight is blurring in and out, only providing small intervals of clarity where you can see the panic in his features.

A sight you didn’t think you’d see on him until now.

“I know you made it for yourself. You’ve been planning to leave home, weren’t you? I’m not..” you’re not oblivious to his wish, “I’m not mad. I was only holding you back, wasn’t I?”

He sucks in a breath.

“I-I-“

What was he supposed to say?

Weakly tapping his arm, you start taking quick breaths—just to take in all the air you can while tolerating the gaping wound from being impaled.

It hurts. You want to scream. It hurts.

But you don’t—because you do not want to appear weak to your brother.

You promised mother and father that you will not cry when faced with problems—he mustn’t see, Kazuha mustn’t see. But at this moment, you just want to break apart. Disbelief is kicking in, you can’t believe this is happening.

When—where did everything go wrong?

“Besides, I’m not of use to you anymore. As if I’ll last the journey to Liyue-“

“Don’t say that!”

You blink owlishly, gasping out in pain when his hand presses against your wound, futilely attempting to hold back the bleeding.

“K-Kazuha?”

Your own hand shakily plants itself atop his own, helping him press—as if his hand isn’t heavy enough to stop the flow—it down. It will hurt, but you can’t say for sure. You’ve already grown numb and your head is swimming.

Still, you focus on him.

Still, you help him apply pressure even if you know—even if he knows—that it’s too late.

“Don’t say that. You’ve..” his voice cracks, “You’ve done so much, [Name], you-“

You took over the clan household when our parents died. You struggled to make ends meet for both of us. And yet.. all I do.. all I do is… !

Kazuha angrily bites on his lip, his hold on his composure beginning to slip as his mind throws in a reel of olden days.

“I’m leaving, [Name]. Please don’t wait up, I may take longer.”

“I’m grateful, but I don’t need that anymore.”

“Stop that, already.”

He dips his head with a muffled cry. All I do is wander and desire for a future where I can roam freely. I haven’t even thought of you..!

“You’ve grown, Kazuha,” he snaps back into this harsh reality when he feels the hand atop his disappear, presently moving to brush his messy locks.

He doesn’t know why all of a sudden his sight is becoming misty, but perhaps—perhaps it is because he remembers when his sister used to brush his hair the same way with a loving smile.

It is the same touch he flees from nowadays.

The same touch now—the same loving smile.

“As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right—you’ve grown so much.. and I’m still clinging onto the past.”

So lively, so beautiful and yet—

“You’re strong now..”

Yet it’s dying.

He presses harder on his sibling’s wound, almost sadistically—as if he’s hoping that it’ll ignite a painful reaction. “[Name], please, let me-“

Because if it hurt—then it means she’s still okay. She’s still responding.

“So capable.. so independent, you are.”

So why—? He almost chokes out a sob. Why are you not reacting to it!?

“Mother and father would be so proud of you. I am sorry if I was lacking in any way.”

“Please, [Name], you can’t do this.” He trembles, the composure he created so, so close to breaking as he gives up on endeavors that are pointless, to begin with. Instead, he tilts his head up, wishing to curse the heavens above.

For everything.

“I’m happy to be your sister, and.. I’m proud of you… Kazu..”

“Wait-“ he stumbles over his words, catching the falling hand of his sibling and registering how deathly pale she has gotten in a matter of seconds. “Wait, please—I-“

As much as he wants to voice out he’s sorry. For many things; for turning his back on her, for being distant when all they have is each other, he’s unable to find his voice when he sees the tears dripping out of his sister’s [c] eyes.

His strong older sister—weeping. It’s the first time he has seen her cry.

Her smile trembles—

“I love you. My nice.. little.. brother.”

—And her [c]s are then hidden forever.

The way she endearingly called him in her dying breath has him freezing, his heart pausing as if he had died along with her. But then the spark of pain welcomes him back to reality—to life.

And then he is leaning over her.

“[Name]..” breathless whispers escalate into panicked murmurs. “[Name]?”

His heart is pounding in his chest as he tries to shake her awake, like when he’d do when he’s eight and awake from an awful dream.

“Nee-san.. can I sleep by your side tonight?”

And although her [c] eyes are tired, she will still smile. “Okay.”

And she’d keep watch over him the whole night.

He’s reminded of it when he hopelessly shakes her awake, to no obvious avail. But he keeps grasping her arms, anyway, like he used to many years ago.

But things are different now.

“[Name]—[N-Name]!?”

He said it himself—he’s no longer a child.

“Please, don’t leave me- I- you’re all I have left!” The ronin’s composure finally breaks loose and his tears begin landing like a profuse waterfall. His uncontained sobs remain unheard.

This time, there is no one to wake him up from his nightmares.

“No—no, no- no, please..!” Kazuha weeps as he holds his sister’s cold hand, shakily pressing it to his forehead, imitating the sweet action she has always given him. A hand on his head, on his shoulder—or on his cheek if he’s tearful. “You can’t!”

She’ll tell him not to be sad because it’ll make her sad, too.

And he’ll hurriedly wipe his tears because ‘no! big sister mustn’t feel sad because of me!’.

Then [Name] will muster a smile as bright as the sun and hold his face in her warm hands, and press a kiss on his forehead. He’ll get red and thrash around, whining, ‘onee-san!’. And about how embarrassing it is so she mustn’t do it anymore.

Now, he is holding her hand in his own, trying to remember the same warmth it emitted just a day ago. Just a few hours ago. How long has it been?

And when he doesn’t feel the warmth—when he doesn’t remember the warmth, when all he feels is the cold and the obvious lack of love, Kazuha breaks apart.

His heart squeezes and his tears spill more, his lips parting to release the honorific he has dropped a long, long time ago. “Nee-san!”

“You don’t call me ‘nee-san’ nowadays,”

“Onee-san!”

“My, you’ve grown so much, Kazu!”

“Onee-san!”

I’m calling you. He cries, like a picture of misery. So why aren’t you waking up? Sister! He cries, like a heartbroken child.

The winds around him pick up, warning him of incoming men sent to apprehend and penalize him the same way they did to his sibling. It’s suffocating—maddening, even, and he wants to tear them all down himself.

But [Name] wouldn’t like that.

So, with a muted cry and bolster of willpower, he tears himself from the body of his kin, trembling.

He can hear the thundering steps of the samurai as he hurries to untangle the same black and red scarf [Name] has once attempted to give him. The same fabric he has rejected.

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry.” he hugs her with all his might, with his soul, and with his heart before he’s back up on his feet and running. I love you, too, nee-san.

“Get him!” someone roars from behind.

And although he wishes to turn and slice them away, he couldn’t—because he’d be seeing the fallen figure of the same person he had neglected to cherish. So, instead, he nestles the scarf around his neck whilst clutching onto the Vision of his friend.

Down the path, he runs.

Years ago, he will be accompanied by the people he loves, chasing a faraway future.

Now he is running on the same path alone, running after a dream that can now be turned into reality.

Far from Inazuma.

Far from home.

≿————-　❈　————-≾

a/n: did it hurt-

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾　Return to the Scrying Glass　☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

≿————-　taglist　————-≾

@lehra @melkxsh

Warnings: Angst (as I always start off writing for a fandom with angst), MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, body is still treated like shit after death

Summary: You knew Vyn would never look twice in your way yet you had hoped that maybe... just maybe he would... once...

Notes in advance: That's right I'm writing for tears of Themis now bc I am addicted so send in those requests babe <33

Vyn Richter is a lot of things to you. He's your childhood friend, a psychiatrist, calculated, noble, and most importantly, logical.

That's what you told yourself when you found out you had feelings for him. Might as well break the fall before you die from it.

He didn't do love unless he was positive of it. He was never uncertain, each step of his was calculated, strong, with the very best outcome for himself and those around him.

You also learned more about him.

How he liked his tea, how he only drank one specific type of wine, how he liked his eggs in the morning.

Needless to say, you knew more about him than he did about you.

It wasn't that he wasn't able to read you, it had just been that he had never bothered reading you. Which you assumed was either because he trusted you since he grew up with you, or that he just didn't think of you as significant enough.

Vyn as a child had been cold, had been neglected. His father was a foreigner, his mother... he had no memory of, his cousins, always aloof and acting harshly because he was a mixed child.

It was no different from growing up in an exaggerated tv drama.

But you, the little child next door, had always thrown plushes over the fence to his backyard. You threw one over on accident while playing with it, but when Vyn picked one up, and you had watched him hug the toy for a second, before letting it drop. The slightest pain on his face before it had straightened up again. You had hardened your resolve to make that boy next door feel better.

When elementary school started, you befriended Vyn immediately. You started off by asking for help, before eventually sticking with him during recess. He had gotten laughed at and bullied quite a bit for having foreign features, and you were having none of that. You beat them up with your bare fists.

When middle school came, both of you dove into your studies. Stellis city was the top in education, and being a resident there of an upper class family, neither of you had the chance of ever slacking off. It would bring dishonour, and then both of you would get berated.

Then came high school. Vyn finding that he was invested in criminal psychology, and you still not knowing what you wanted to be. You were torn for days over this. Everyone else knew what they wanted to be, what they wanted to do, yet you were slowly being left behind. So you hardened your resolve and told yourself that until Vyn had someone who could take care of him, you would stay by his side.

You got into the same university as Vyn.

You cried, without telling him, about the news, and while he nagged at you for neglecting your health for your college exam, you knew he felt relieved when you made it in as well.

University was never any easier than it should've been. Both of you dove deeper into your studies with Vyn going into criminal psychology and you into behavioural psychology. You needed to learn to read people and protect yourself... and Vyn.

Then after both of you getting your doctorate, you became coworkers. You had thought you had a chance. But that was diminished very quickly. Vyn had started to grow distant after a phone call, and you pretended that it was alright.

You didn't let that stop the routine though. Breakfast at his place, lunch in his office, the other staff had joked that you two were pretty much a married couple. but you knew that he never thought of you that way.

Then he met someone new. A mysterious girl who was different to you in so many ways. She was confident, elegant, intelligent. Working at Themis law, became famous for winning a case for the Pax group's son.

Vyn was enamoured by her.

So were you.

She was everything you could've only hoped to be.

While Vyn spoke to you about how wonderful she was, you found yourself offering help in being around her. You befriended her, and you knew exactly why she was loved by all, she just had that personality and character.

When the PUA victim ran to Vyn for help, you told him that you'd be resting for a bit. You would've been a big help, but you felt as though you'd be third wheeling on them.

So while Vyn tracked down the PUA group with her, you found yourself slowly letting go. It began with the messages, then the meetings, eventually the meals together.

It was slow, and Vyn would have probably not realized it at all if one of the patients hadn't spoken up about it.

"Dr. Richter... where's your assistant Y/n?"

Then Vyn realized that he hadn't seen you in the last weeks. It was like you disappeared.

He didn't think much of it until he felt empty.

"Y/n can you-" You're not there anymore.

"I have these files Y/n can you-"

"Y/n did-"

Then he receives news that you had left the hospital. Rumors of you two getting into a fight circulated and Vyn found himself irked.

That was when he realized something.

He grows more irritated without you. There's no one to lighten up his day in the morning or remind him to stop scratching himself when he feels uneasy.

No one was there to tell him that he should really stop pulling on his hair, to stop downing 4 espressos a day.

Meanwhile you had met a woman named Jasmine. A woman who was investigating Opaline village, and needed the help of a psychiatrist. A woman who had a little child, whom received help from the girl that Vyn loved.

You two were driving back from gathering evidence when the car swerved.

The last thing you saw was a white light.

Vyn is baffled when your name appears in a NXX file.

What were you doing there?

You had gotten into a murder disguised as an accident.

You died.

You died and somehow it was related to the drug they were researching on.

Then for the first time, the organization watched him lose his composure and break down.

The only person who had stuck by his side his entire life had left forever.

He tried to find your grave, but your family never held a funeral for you. You had betrayed them by becoming a psychiatrist while all of them were deeply religious. They cursed you, saying that this was how the heavens were punishing you. Your body got donated to scientists for research. Vyn never got to send you off or give you a flower, all he had left of you was that faltering smile the last time you met up with him.

You had left him with nothing.

Nothing except those whispered words the last time you met up.

"I hope I'd be your favourite crime"

—# 🍨 MAKING OUT WITH THEM IN THEIR BEDROOM

A/N; <33

#ALBEDO;

The type of guy to orginal ask if he could paint you in the setting for your bedroom but actually finds himself, staring at you for too long. Nearly seconds later your lips have several greetings, and only find you both on his bed later, with your hands exploring his chest and his hands exploring your lower body.

#CHILDE;

Would flirt with you, for a little until his lips find themselves on your necks, hearing faint whimpers and moans leave your throat while his hands explore your body. And the best part were the lingering kisses you shared with him.

#DILUC;

The type of guy to be patient, and will only wait until you make the first move. Though once you nod your head in agreement, he will take no time, kissing you all over, lips, necks, cheeks, everything underneath. He takes his time as well.

#KAEYA;

You guys would already be making out before you even enter his bedroom, that’s why you would already have your legs wrapped around his waist and everything while he kisses you deeply. He likes the warmth of your lips and everything, brings joy to his eyes and souls.

Longing For You

Pairing: Fem reader x Aether

Words: 10k+ I lost count

Genre: one-shot, platonic relationship, fuff, angst, slight crack if you squint

Cw // mentions of character death, blood

Hi! It's my first time writing on here and I just write what's on my mind I'm sorry if this is bad since english is not my first language ㅠㅠ I promise I will get better with my writing! Enjoy ^^

Lonely.

That's what you are feeling. It's been 3 days you got stuck in this unknown land. You thought it was beautiful, it really was. But will you be ready to face what's in front of you?

You manage to survive with fruits like apples and cashews, at least that's what you thought the name was, because in your world they called it cashews. Even though it doesn't really give you enough nutritions, as long as you get to live you're okay with it. Heck there were almost nothing here. You wanted to explore the place more but there are monsters everywhere, and you- with no weapon, could only run and hide in hopes of not getting spotted by them. Will you ever survive?

Sighing, "just another day like this I guess"

you said before drifting to dreamland under a tree in a secluded area of the unknown land.

----

"She's still breathing"

"Paimon! What are you doing?!"

You could hear someone whispering- half screaming to be exact, at someone but you are more bothered at someone poking your arm with a stick. Groaning, you woke up and realized someone invaded your place. Ready to fight whoever that was, your actions suddenly come to a halt when you meet a pair of golden eyes and his tiny little companion. They were as shocked as you, well... I guess you are more shocked to see a floating kid beside the blonde boy.

Quickly, you hide behind a tree. Since you don't have any weapon to defend yourself what else can defend you other than a tree?

"w-who are you?! And why you can float?!"

you shrieked, the little floating kid crossed her arms and scoffed at your question. Why would she scoffed at you?

"excuse me young lady but we're the one who should ask you that!".

You just meet her now but god knows how much her high-pitched voice started to annoy you. The blonde boy beside her started to speak up before his companion could even say a word,

"I'm sorry she bothered you. I'm Aether, and this is my travel companion, Paimon. We found a group of hilichurls around here and we already fight them off before it could reach your campsite. May we know what is your name?" he asks as his pair golden orbs stares straight into you.

"Uh.. My name is y/n..."

He smiles, assuring you that they're safe and can be trusted, you slowly got out behind the tree when he stretches out his hand for a handshake. You grab his hand, reciprocating his action. "it's nice to meet you y/n".

----

"No"

"Aether c'mon please?"

"ugh fine"

It's been a month you had stayed in Monstadt, The Land of Freedom, and a month since your encounter with Aether and Paimon. She still annoys you though, but you're really grateful that she can keep the conversation going because it always turns awkward whenever you tried to initiate a conversation with people. You learned that Aether didn't come from this world too, separated from his sister by the unknown god and now is looking for her in Teyvat. Hopefully, you can go back home too.

You missed your family of course but you're also happy that there are people who willing to take care of you, especially Barbara. She treated you like her own sister, beside Jean. You learned everything here from Lisa and learned how to fight from the cavalry captain Knights of the Favonious, Kaeya. And Diluc? He's hot, but cold as ice at the same time and you went to the Tavern once, only to see him talking to a bard named Venti, about how the bard needs to stop drinking all of his dandelion wine before he runs out of it because of him.

Now, Aether is in front of you as you manage to persuade him to bring you to one of his adventures. He never let you tag along because he told you it's dangerous outside. Both of you are no vision holders, but he has the power of Anemo. It's still a mystery to you but he's an outlander so it would probably make sense why he can have such powers even without a vision blessed by the Archons.

"But! You only have to fight the hilichurls only while I take down those mitachurls, got it?" he says. Nodding your head aggressively, you started your journey with him as an adventurer.

"Let's go to Liyue!" Paimon says excitedly.

---

"That was close, thank you y/n"

Aether pants heavily, letting out a sigh of relief as you kick off the last hilichurl with your sword. Turning around to face him, you tell him it's nothing.

You three bumped into a hilichurl camp in the middle of the road of Bishui Plans. Unfortunately, those group of monsters noticed you before you three could even hide.

You were about to follow Paimon but Aether called you, you look at him as his face expressed shocked. You asked him what's wrong only him to point at your hips. You were confused so you look down where he's pointing at. Well now you're equally as shocked as him, if not because of the shining crystal blue orb hanging on your belt.

"What... I-I swear it wasn't there before?"

You whispered, questioning yourself because how did it get there? How did you even got a vision? What did you do? You know it's a vision because Lisa has taught you at the library back in Mondstadt. How? That was all in your mind.

You hear Paimon gasped, putting her hands on her mouth, "you got a vision! Let me see!". She flew to look at your vision before touching it to get a better look. "You got a cryo vision!" she exclaimed.

"Cryo? You mean I get the power of ice?" You question her. She nodded her, "Yes! Now you can help Aether to fight enemies!". Looking down at your feet, sighing. Aether asked you what's wrong and you simply said you don't know how to fight. Like actually fighting enemies with your own power, how to use it and how to handle it. What if you unintentionally hurt people around you? Aether chuckled at your response. You look up at him, tilting your head in confusion.

"Don't worry, I'll teach you"

----

"I wish kaeya was here"

"You don't like it when I teach you?!"

Chuckling at your friend, you said it's not that you don't like it when he teaches you. It's because "it would be easier if a cryo vision holder teaches me how to control the element", you says.

He let out a puff, while you were stroking Paimon's hair on your lap. She snores softly and you swear you could hear her mumbling sticky honey roast in her sleep. Giggling at her, you wonder how can she be cute and annoying at the same time. It's unfair you think. You turned your head to look at Aether and he was zoned out, as always.

"Mind telling me what's in your mind?"

You picked up his habits quite quickly, since you both attached to the hips all the time. You would notice he always does this when he's deep in thought. The same goes for him. You both can read each other like an open book.

He looks at you, smiling. Shaking his head and tells you he always thinks the same, about his sister. You smiled back at him, you assured him that you will meet her soon. And now, you both enjoy the calm breeze as you both watched the sun set over the blue horizon at the nearby cliff in Liyue.

"S-sticky honey roast... "

----

Annoyed.

That's how you feel right now.

This guy just keeps pestering you for 20 minutes now. You got separated with Aether as he got something to do with Zhongli, the Wangsheng Parlor Funeral Consultant. Aether wanted to let Paimon stay with you but you said you're fine on your own and you would enjoy alone time in the time being while waiting for them.

But you didn't expect this.

"Can you stop following me now?"

"Why would I?"

Rolling your eyes, you bump into his shoulder, or Childe as he call himself.

"Oh don't be like that girlie-" " I have a name shut up" you sigh for the nth time. You need to avoid this man, because he's one of the Fatui, you don't want to involve yourself and Aether with them. That's why you've been running and avoiding him at all cost.

"Well you never tell me your name girlie-"

"It's y/n okay? Now go you're getting on my nerve..."

you mumbled the last sentence. He only chuckles at your reaction as he enjoys it. You were buying some street food from the food stall and before you could give your mora to the seller, someone beats you to pay for the food. You were not complaining though, you didn't thank him either.

"Okay then but can I ask you one last question, y/n?" he smiles widely while you only look at him, chewing your spicy fish cake, unamused. His question however, almost send you to you death as you were choking on your food.

"W-what did you say?!" "I want to get to know about you"

Aether is not going to like this...

----

As expected, he was mad. No, he was furious.

"Why did you talk to him?!"

"I tried not to talk to him Aether, he kept following me when I tried to avoid him! To the point he creeps me out..."

Aether sighs, rubbing his forehead as Paimon watched you two arguing. Was this the only time Paimon shuts her mouth? Excluding the time she's asleep. She knows when to silent herself because this time, Aether is different in Paimon's eyes.

"So.. Did you agree?" he questioned, not giving you a glance. You shake your head, "No, of course I didn't. He's dangerous and he could hurt us if he has the opportunity..." Which is true. Childe is a harbinger, and you, just a mortal from another world who just got dumped to Teyvat out of nowhere.

Aether engulfs you in a hug, which surprised you. You could feel your cheeks burning from the physical contact. His arm wraps around your shoulder while the other strokes your hair, calming you.

"I won't let that happen to you, Paimon and me. I won't let him hurt us, I will promise you that I will protect you both from any danger. I don't want to lose another friend..." he says and the last sentence sounds more like a whisper to you but you understand him.

You also promised to yourself that you will protect paimon and him. Because you love them.

----

"Well traveller, you're quite stronger than I thought"

"Stay away from him!"

You yelled at the harbinger, keeping yourself from falling as you struggled to stand up. Paimon tried her best to keep Aether awake while you were guarding them, ready to attack him anytime.

Childe let out a loud laugh, as if he was mocking you and your companion. Shaking his head, he came closer to you.

"You know what, you're lucky that you didn't fall for my tricks" he chuckles. You were getting antsy everytime he take a step closer to you, "no one is fool enough to fall for a harbinger, Tartaglia" you sneered.

He was about to attack you with his hydro sword but you managed to dodged it with your power and turning it into an ice. You both fight for a while and fortunately, Aether came to help you.

After hours of fighting, that's what you think, you feel drained out. Slumping on the floor, you take a glance at Aether he was panting hard, Paimon at his side to support him. And Childe, he looks better than both you and Aether combined but he's still in a good shape.

As you were trying to stand up, you saw a glimpse of a woman at the corner of your eye. You widen your eyes and tried to push Aether away as you saw the woman was about to attack him with her sharp ice.

Signora.

You made a wall of ice to protect Aether and Paimon from her attacks. However, you didn't do it for you. You didn't protect yourself and got hit by the ice. The ice wall from you melts, so does Aether's world when he saw you, bleeding from your own element.

Childe was as shocked too, he thought you were a genuine person, he really do. Is this what it feels when you know someone personally got hurt? He can't imagine what Aether feels now.

You fell, you felt dizzy as you hit your head on the solid ground.

"Y/n!" Aether and Paimon yelled your name, but why do they sound like they're miles away?

"Y/n! Keep your eyes open! Don't you very dare to close your eyes!" Your friend screamed. Paimon is holding your hand while sobbing on you. "Y/n you can't leave us! Paimon still want to have fun with you!"

All you can do is cry. You don't want to leave them. You still haven't find your way back home, you can't. But you were losing so much blood and all you could do is remembering your moments with your friends.

Aether and Paimon.

Aether holds you on his lap, you could feel his tears falling on your cheek. He cups your cheek as he stares into your (e/c) orbs. To him, it resembles the stars on the night sky. He wish he could look at them like this before.

Not when you're dying.

He put his forehead on yours as he keeps repeating "please don't leave" to you. You promised him that you will protect him, but not stay with him. Did you regret it? Yes. You wish you could stay but you knew at the end, both of you will leave eventually.

But you didn't expect that you would leave them like this.

With all your might, you hover your hand over his that was on your cheek, rubbing it softly. "Promise me, we will meet someday, wether it be in our next life or in different universe, promise me we will meet again" you said, voice getting hoarse and staring to his golden eyes. You want to remember his eyes, his nose, his lips, his everything.

"Paimon doesn't want you to leave!" your little friend cried, you let out a loud sob as you pull her to your chest, soaking your bloody shirt with her tears. You three tried to cherish your last moment together, even though it was a tragic one, like now.

Aether tighten his hold on you, Paimon cries harder when she saw the colour of your vision starting to fade, knowing you couldn't make it.

"Paimon loves you, y/n", all you can do is cry, before your last breathe you hear Aether says "I promise you, we will meet again.. I love you"

Your vision faded, you fall into a deep sleep and everything turns dark.

----

"She's awake!"

"Call the doctor!"

You slowly opened your eyes, the bright light hurting your eyes, still adjusting to the surrounding. You could feel your tears were falling. Why did you cry? Then it hit you.

You were in the hospital.

You remember what happened, was that all just a dream? It feels real, way too real for your liking.

"Thank god, you're finally awake!" your mom sobs. Wait, your mom is here? You're finally back? You were supposed to be happy but why did you feel sad?

"H-how long did I... Sleep?" you asked, voice raspy as your throat lacks of hydration. Your mom gave you a glass of water and you gladly drink it, your throat still hurt.

"2 months now, you got hit by a car and the guy felt bad. He even insisted to pay for your bills", your mom says as she hold your hand. It's been a few minutes but you missed them. Aether and your little friend Paimon.

"Oh.." that's all you can say. You really don't know what to respond. You were happy that you're finally awake but you also missed people you met in Teyvat. Are they real or just your imagination?

"I forgot to tell you, the person who pays for your hospital bill will visit you. He always visits you when me and your dad is busy with work", you nodded your head, didn't have the energy to reply your mom back.

Suddenly, the door opens, revealing a tall man. You face him, only to widen your eyes as you were shocked to see the person in your dream.

"Childe?"

----

It's been a month since you got discharged from the hospital and been recovering well. You still struggle to walk on your own though, but nothing serious. Ever since you met childe, you both got along very well, not like the one in your dream.

"So... What I dreamed of during my coma was real?" You asked him, walking through the flowery path as the cherry blossom falls on the ground beside him arms clinging to his.

"Yeah. In fact, I'm still the same Childe in your dream!"

"Yeah as you wish. The only same thing is you keep paying things for me.. And being annoying"

You remarked. He only laughs and told you the reason why he keeps doing that is that it's the only kind action he could do, even now. But in reality, he felt guilty. He

"By the way, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. You won't mind right?"

"What's the point of asking me if you're going to introduce your friend to me now?"

"Geez woman, you're still the same"

you could only laugh at him. To you, he's a good friend but no one could replace Aether. If you met Childe, there's a possibility of you to meet Aether and Paimon right?

"Oi blondie! We're here!" Childe yelled, getting you out from your deep thoughts. You look up only to meet a pair of golden eyes that you've missed so much.

It feels like the time has stopped. He walked towards you and slowly, engulfed you in a hug. You were stunned, you meet him. You both found each other. You hugged him back, tightly. You let out tears of joy, he was relieved he found you that he also cried.

"You didn't forget me don't you?" You hear a feminine voice behind Aether, only to find Paimon crossing her arms, just like when you meet her for the first time. But what amazes you that she's in a different form. She looks... Like you. A woman.

Your eyes got teary again and went straight to her, giving her a big hug which she reciprocated. "I miss you so much Paimon" you burried your head into her neck. Paimon was happy she could meet her.

Childe and Aether could only look both of you with adoration. Aether cleared his throat, without looking at the man beside him, eyes still on you. "Thank you, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't find her"

The red haired man could only smile, "it's no problem. I couldn't face anyone after what happened in Teyvat. Think of this as my way to apologize". Aether couldn't answer, he only nodded his head to let him know he's listening.

You went to him only get a hug from you. You missed him so much. And you noticed Aether doesn't have his long braided hair anymore, which saddens you because you always play and braid his hair.

"I noticed that you finally got rid of your annoyingly long hair", you teased him. You hear him chuckled as he tightened his grip around you. "Can't let the annoyingly long hair distract people sweetie. People found it weird here"

"But I like it though..." you blushed at the pet name he gave you. You both just couldn't let go of each other now. He strokes your hair, enjoying each others presence. "I'm so glad that I found you", "me too, I'm glad you're here".

The other two friend only watched you two reunited again, hugging each other and won't let each other go because you missed each other so much that you both are afraid one of you vanished anytime. But it's real.

"Childe can we get some sticky honey roast?"

"Good grief, paimon.."

when it's the right person but it's the wrong time

childe, diluc, kazuha and xiao x gn!reader

hcs, sfw, angst, modern!au, cw: breakups, idk no comfort i think, 866 words

reblog pls unless u wanna lose ur 50/50 bc im jinxing u

note: love life goes brrr ig 😧 kazuha is. is based from true events and very long bc i have favoritism. always rmb that some men r just shit tho 💞 diluc probs doesnt make sense but i hate writing for him in a way so idm. not proofread, dont mind any stupid errors

childe ;

it was a healthy relationship, sadly the timing for it wasn't exactly the best. you don't know how it happened, but things weren't working out for the both of you. it went wrong in many ways to the point you wonder how you get into a relationship. it wasn't a toxic relationship though, it's more like you both lost interest in one another and you both noticed it but went in denial. that's what caused you to have numerous arguments with childe, always yelling at each other when you call and in the end you'll just hang him up out of frustration with your feelings. you had second thoughts - had you truly loved him from the start? had he truly loved you from the start? you don't know at this point. all you know is that with one final call, you both ended things there and stopped communicating. it all went back to that one snowy night where you were still strangers to each other.

diluc ;

diluc was busy. he had always been, even before you met him he was already busy with many things. but he always made time for you, until lately he didn't. diluc always treated you right and you did the same for him, it's best to say that you two were in a very healthy relationship. so how could things just go wrong? maybe it's because you felt abandoned by him, or maybe it's because you were overthinking if diluc still held feelings for you. you refused to believe that you and diluc's relationship would go downhill. you two always fixed your problems with one another in the end - how is this situation any different from the past ones?

xiao ;

you were the one he trusted the most. the way you were always there for him always made him happy. but in this relationship, xiao was the problem. he didn't know how it all started but lately he felt like he wasn't deserving of you. hell, he even thought that you were just pitying him - but he knows you wouldn't be like that. how can your comforting words be an act of pity? so he believes that he himself is the problem. he's been dazing out recently, always seeming like he's in deep thought and when you ask him about it he'll say it's nothing. "liar." a voice in his head said. it took you a while to process what his words were on the day he finally decided to break up with you. you reached out to him, hand trying to grasp his but he pulled away, avoiding your gaze as you looked at him in hurt. you offered that you'll do better to understand him - to do better at loving him but he denied all of it. he wanted to have a break, to fix himself, to do better for you so he too can give back the love you give him. but in the end, you two really weren't meant to be in this time.

kazuha ;

you thought your feelings went platonic for him. but in truth you just fell out of love. kazuha did nothing wrong, you were the problem. he treated you well - always was by your side when you needed him and always would try his best to cheer you up if you're feeling down. you couldn't believe the fact that you fell out of love for him. so you insisted that your feelings just went platonic - you just can't accept how you fell out of love. kazuha noticed everything, how you've been acting distant lately, how you were getting a bit dry, everything was noticed by him when you didn't even realize it yourself.

and so you broke up, telling him how your feelings went platonic for him. "liar." you called yourself. but within at least 2 weeks later, you decided to say hi to him. you were nervous when you pressed send to a message that just said "hi" in your conversation with him. he was doing well thankfully, but you were a wreck. you hated how kazuha could still read you like a book, he asked if you were alright and you made him guess. and his guess was still accurate as ever - no, you weren't okay. you were a mess. 

as if nothing happened between you, he offered for you to rant at him like how he used to, which made you feel bad. how could you fall out of love for such a nice guy? he deserves better than this but he probably doesn't know it. you decided to just go off about work, saying how you were given too much work to do when it recently just started. you didn't know what he would say, but it just hurts even more when he offered to help you with it.

why, why was he still the same? did the past 2 weeks already make him get over what happened between you? even if you tried to fix things with him, you doubt it'll be the same. maybe, you two just really didn't work out for this time. and maybe you two were happier if things just didn't go wrong.

It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs

A Happy Ending Yet to Happen

Characters: Xiao x F!Reader (Y/N), implied traveler x Xiao at end, ft. Venti and Paimon Fandom: Genshin Impact WC: 8.2k words Tags: character death, immortal(?) x mortal, grief, sadness, tears, angst, spoilers for Xiao’s voice lines and stories, Xiao might be slightly OOC in some scenes A/N: I’m pretty sure you can’t call Xiao an immortal since yakshas can die and stuff but like they live a long time so it sorta works HAHA. Also this hasn’t really been beta read and so there’s probably a couple of mistakes, sorry about that!

Keep reading

in drunken nights

in which you take care of a drunk, clingy kazuha.

when men had stormed into your home and obnoxiously chanted, “emergency, emergency!” you hadn't expected the so-called urgent crisis to be...

“what are you doing...?” you gazed at the inexplicable picture that was kazuha choking hugging a crewmate and at least five bulky giants attempting to pry him off, all of which were failing miserably.

“kazuha had one too many drinks,” someone belonging from the crux fleet helpfully supplied, gesturing to the empty bottles of sake scattered on the table. “and he's become some sort of a hugging monster.”

which, honestly, still didn't explain why you were brought here. “so... why did you call for me?”

“please take him home,” begged another man, kneeling by your feet and tugging on your pants. “please.”

“hey!” a voice chimed in warning, followed by a hiccup. you turned your head to face kazuha, who had finally let go of the traumatized man gasping for breath in the corner. “don't touch,” hic, “[name]!” he pointedly steered threats towards the beggar(?) before you, approaching with wobbly steps.

you caught him with your arms when he inevitably stumbled, too inebriated to fully function. “woah there, are you okay?” he clung to you tightly, pulling you down with his weight. “who let him drink this much?!”

“captain challenged him to a drinking match.”

figures.

“archons...” you heaved a defeated sigh, hoisting up your giggly companion. you placed one of his arms to rest on your shoulders and held him up by the waist, sending an accusing look to a nearby crewmate. “why don't you take care of him?”

“we got our hands full with beidou.”

again, figures.

appearing not too pleased by you neglecting him, kazuha roused awake, leaning far too close to your ear than necessary. “[name]...” he breathed rather than spoke, lips nearly brushing against your skin. “where are you taking me...?”

blood rushed to the tips of your ears. “please don't make it sound like i'm doing something illegal.”

“i can't believe you had it in you, [name],” said beidou, clearly intoxicated with alcohol. she took a swig from her jug and loudly announced, “taking advantage of, hic, kazuha of all people!”

your cheeks burned hotly, amplified by the booming laughter spreading across the tables. “i am not doing such thing!”

kazuha whined, slurring his words. “you... won't do anything...?”

“i swear you're doing this on purpose.”

you were absolute sure he was. tilting his head to your neck, stumbling conveniently, and whispering words to your ear in a calculated manner — he had to be doing this to rile you up. either that or he had the natural makings of a player, with all the flowers that come out of his mouth instead of proper words, unknowingly charming innocent victims with his alluring voice.

“don't be too rough with him, okay?” one cooed in jest as you passed by him, your pace hastening with each teasing comment while dragging kazuha with you. “poor guy's nearly unconscious.”

“i'm not doing anything to him, so shut it!” you retorted, not quite as intimidating as you wanted to be when your face was the same shade as a ripened apple.

“boo, coward.”

“no chickening out!”

“dear archons, please give me patience...” you bit on your bottom lip, deciding to stay silent and cut off the pointless conversation once and for all.

“[nameeee]...” kazuhaa drawled out, tripping on his own feet. you yelped and barely kept your balance.

“what is it this time-” you risked a glance at him, groaning in irritation, and you immediately pulled back your head when your face was closer than intended and you'd just brushed noses. goddamn it.

“pay attention to me!” he demanded as a bratty child would, except a child wouldn't stare at you so deeply and pepper your face with kisses as a means to annoy you.

“what- no- stop moving around!”

“get a room!”

“shut up!”

getting pushed back to the sofa as soon as you arrived in your house wasn't the last thing you expected to happen, but you were plenty caught off-guard.

“kazuha...” you sighed, effectively pinned down to the couch with him looming above you. his face was buried to the space beside your head, unrelenting to rise. “get up. i have to take care of you, so let me go. you need water to sober up.”

“don't want to.” he stubbornly nuzzled his head against your neck for emphasis.

“this kid...” you exhaled exasperatedly. your fingers ran through his hair, loosening his ponytail. “please? you're crushing me.”

you felt him pause, considering the potential harm he may cause.

even in his terribly drunken state, his childish tendencies came into a full halt and he obediently rose from his position, though the pout on his face was apparent.

“there, good boy.” you praised and sat up, pleased with his docile behavior. “do you feel sick? need to throw up? i can get a few more pillows.”

“[name] is enough.”

“that's sweet, but i'll get seriously angry if you throw up on me.”

“i won't throw up...” his hand inched towards yours, shyly playing with your fingers. “i promise.”

fuck, he's adorable.

still, you liked to think you had self-discipline. you won't let yourself get swayed by a pretty face.

“well, what do you want to do then? feel like sleeping? it's late at night, after all.”

he sheepishly glanced at you, looking with a silent plea. “...stay with me?”

you take that back.

“you know what? fine.” you tugged him towards you and fell on the cushions, wrapping him in a hug. “friends cuddle all the time. this is fine.”

yes, most certainly. this was quite the intimate act, but not totally exclusive to lovers. you chanted that over and over again to convince yourself, belatedly ignoring the fingers softly tracing patterns on your skin that seemed to stray off the levels of platonic.

“what are you trying to do, really...” you groaned, sanity escaping you. kazuha's expression remained vacant, unapologetic for his touchy nature.

“can i kiss you?”

kill me now.

“what if i say no?”

you wouldn't, of course you wouldn't. kazuha knew that too, that's why he didn't flinch and proceeded as if nothing happened. he reached his hand to your face, tracing the edge of your chin.

“would you?”

you stayed silent, and kazuha takes it as his cue.

his lips pressed gently to yours, relishing in the plush softness. your heart picked up its pace, thudding loudly in your chest, and it only raced faster when you felt the sudden sweep of his tongue on your bottom lip, prodding for permission. you stiffened considerably, but you let your eyes close and you lose yourself in the sensation, reciprocating the kiss and fingers grasping on his shirt for purchase.

you were momentarily surprised by his abrupt shift in position, his hand relocating to the back of your neck to pull you impossibly closer, and when you open your eyes, you see pools of red, admiring each expression you make.

“you-” you pulled away, startled into wiping away at your mouth. “don't open your eyes...”

his eyes crinkled at the edges, mirth warming his gaze. “sorry, i couldn't help but get curious.”

you grumbled incoherently, tasting sake on your tongue. “so? when the hell did you get sober?”

at first, he stared at you blankly, processing your words. then his lips stretched into an abashed grin, bringing his hand to shyly rub the back of his neck. “ah, i've been found out?”

iterum vivere (childe/tartaglia)

a/n: wow, it’s been fucking forever. first genshin fic featuring childe/tartaglia!!! a very huge thank you to @suspensin​ for reading this over and being my rock and support, and i love her so fucking much. I couldn’t have finished this without her!

plot: reincarnation and modern/uni!au ft. afab reader!traveler with she/they pronouns x childe/tartaglia 

– in which meeting childe is a bit of a dangerous game of push and pull

wc: 12.1k; angst + fluff

warnings:  DOES CONTAIN IN-GAME SPOILERS (1.5? 1.6? + story quest and idek) and NSFW MENTIONS (mdni to be safe). there’s no explicit smut but thoughts do run a bit wild here and there

“Haven’t we met before?”

The shine in your eyes does nothing to hide your curiosity, head even tilting a little in observation. He watches them scan his face for any recognizable features, but attempts to focus on the strange, taut string of déjà vu that pulls him toward you. In a moment of absentmindedness, he had heard a faint voice call out his name from your direction. Confusion overtook him as you weren’t looking at him, but something inside his brain said that it had to be from you. And so his feet redirected his path towards your figure in the student union building, as if on a mission.

“A fucking whale, Childe?”

Oh.

“I don’t think so…?” You trail off, curiosity now replaced by perplexed feelings. “Do we have a class together?”

I think I would’ve noticed you by now if you were.

“Ah, what’s your major?” Childe asks quickly to avoid listening to the little voice in his head.

“History and anthropology, you?”

“Economics, but I’ve taken a history course for core credits. Maybe it was then?”

“With Dr. Zhong?”

“Yes!” He snaps his fingers. Part of his brain decides to usefully function and scan his memories to see if he remembers your face or head of hair in the lecture hall then. “Last year? Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 to 11:20?”

“Actually, yeah,” you affirm in surprise. You think you would remember the relatively attractive ginger in your class, but honestly, it had all been such a blur and you were often pretty sleepy during class. Dr. Zhong didn’t quite appreciate it, but you made up for it with your exam and essay grades, as well as paying better attention in some of his other courses.

“Did you need me for anything?”

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And the result for first semester in form 6 is coming out this Wednesday what a wonderful day

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