Happy Birthday Best Hat Man (ver2025) 🎩✨🥳🥳

This is just Stormbringer and it's not even a fanfiction. I think Asagiri figured out we like Chuuya when he wrote it.

So like.

If that's not Fyodor, does that mean Nikolai is just hugging some random dude's hand???

Just wondering.

A ramble/analysis about the significance of the bar in The Day I Picked Up Dazai

Ok, so I just reread the day I picked up Dazai, and read side b for the first time, and man do I have many, many thoughts, but one thing in particular struck me, and that is the bar. More specifically, the reason why they go in the first place and why it is significant. (spoilers for the day i picked up dazai side a, obviously)

The first time the bar is mentioned is when Odasaku and Dazai are having a discussion about death and why Dazai desires it. Oda says that "he is a fool for wanting to die" and that anyone is fool for dying before going to "that place." He doesn't specify what it is though, and Dazai thinks he's making it up at first. The way Odasaku speaks about it, it's as if it's some magic place, a place that only some can see the true value of. This intrigues Dazai, because one important thing about him is the fact that he's always searching. Always looking for something interesting, some reason to keep living, some proof that life isn't the boring place he believes it to be.

The second time this place is brought up is when Odasaku and Dazai are in the cell, and Oda is trying to convince Dazai that he should escape with him. He mentions that the place is nearby, and that they should escape and go. Now, Dazai is truly curious about it, and it works. He says, "how long has it been, I wonder? To have somewhere I want to go...I have a feeling that even if there is nothing at that place, it will be fine as it is." He's excited, and looking forward to the place that Odasaku has been, for lack of a better term, hyping up the entire light novel. Even if it may not be so interesting after all, like Oda said it might not be.

Still, when they arrive at the bar, Dazai acts a little disappointed at first. The place Oda took him to was really just a bar after all. Odasaku even admits that he lied, that where could he take him to that he wouldn't already know, and that he was merely teasing him. Dazai is taken aback at first, but in the end, he finds value in the place. They sit for ages, talking about everything and nothing, playing poker, and drinking. And despite being disappointed in the beginning, it ends up being enough for Dazai.

And now, for the actual point of this ted talk, the reason why this is so significant is because to me, the bar represents Dazai's search. He is always looking for something interesting to keep him alive, but the fact of the matter is, there is nothing. Oda says as much to him when he dies; nothing in this world is going to fill the void of loneliness inside of Dazai. But the fact that he took Dazai to something as simple as a bar, a place he said he was a fool for not going, the place that intrigued Dazai so much signifies that Dazai would only find something in a place as simple as a bar. That for all his searching, the answer might just be playing a game of cards and talking to a friend while having a few drinks. Dazai feels so far removed from human connection, but in truth, that is the one thing that could even attempt to fill the void, even if just a little. He will keep searching, keep looking for some external factor that may allow life to interest him, the thing that he would be foolish for dying before seeing, but the answer might just lie in spending the night in a simple bar with a friend.

Genuinely don't know how this will turn out, but—

I would like to remind everyone that this takes place after the Guild arc, meaning that Kunikida knows by now that Dazai was a Mafia executive. And that doesn't bother him in the slightest.

I really, really hate when people say that Dazai doesn't care about Akutagawa and that he never did.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not saying that what Dazai did to him was right, nor that it was justified. He treated him awfully, he abused him, and I'm not trying to insinuate that his treatment was fair, or that his motives excuse the actions. But what I am trying to say is that the motivation behind it wasn't cruelty, both in the past and present.

For starters, this is the interaction when they first met, from the short story The Heartless Cur:

He told him right off the bat that he wouldn't be treating him well. He never forced Akutagawa into anything, and even offered to give him and his sister enough money to live the rest of their lives content, never to hear from him again. But he told Akutagawa he might be able to give him a reason to live-something the boy had been lacking his whole life. By giving him a "master" as the short story says, someone to look up to and follow. Again, the way he was treated was brutal, but Dazai's intentions weren't evil.

Now, I don't want to do a "Dumbledore said calmly" meme, BUT... check out the difference between this scene in the anime vs this scene in the Dark Era light novel (apologies if the audio sync got a little messed up)

Dazai sounds frustrated, like Akutagawa isn't worth the breath it takes to speak of him. But vs the light novel...

Yeah. Pretty different. This scene came after the one where Dazai punched and shot Akutagawa for killing the soldiers, forcing Akutagawa to learn to use his ability in a way he never had before. And then now- "Dazai grinned from ear to ear" - that sounds a lot like he's proud rather than ashamed. He clearly does think Akutagawa is powerful (as Atsushi says later on, Dazai acknowledged him long ago). And then he admits that he truly feels he could be powerful, and that Akutagawa would destroy himself had he not stepped in to train him.

Now. This doesn't make what he did right, and we see from Beast how Akutagawa might have turned out if someone like Oda had been the one to find him and take care of him. But the fact of the matter is, Dazai believed he was doing this for Akutagawa's own good. And this was the world he lived in; Dazai was incapable of treating someone like Akutagawa well in the place he was in mentally. He saw his own darkness in him, and therefore, couldn't treat him the same way he could Odasaku and Ango. But he did care for him, and more importantly, he wanted to help him learn to stop killing.

Which brings us to the present.

Dazai's actions towards Akutagawa, especially at the beginning of the series, are of a different nature than they were in the past. He doesn't hit him, but he riles him up. Tells him Atsushi is better than him with the intent that he'd go after him brutally. Hangs up on him, makes him desire Dazai's approval, essentially manipulating him in both the finales of season two and three, as well as in season five. And this is for one reason that is expressed in beast: he believes that Akutagawa and Atsushi would work extremely well together, but that they'd need to fight in order for their souls to truly connect and for that trust to be built up. Dazai admits that he'd been considering them as duo since the moment he met Atsushi-which proves he never forgot about Akutagawa, or even considered him second rate in terms of power. But he felt that he needed to push Akutagawa in order for the two of them to connect, putting both of them in danger, yes, because he knows that the two of them possess strengths that balance the other out, both in literal attacks and in their philosophies. Which is why he looked so happy at the end of season three when Atsushi tells him about the deal with Akutagawa not killing for six months. Atsushi was able to reach out to Akutagawa in a way Dazai never believed himself capable, even if he had to manipulate both subordinates to achieve it. And again, this isn't to say that Dazai is right for using the both of them like that, or treating Akutagawa like dirt in order to force a relationship with Atsushi. But it wasn't down of out malice or apathy, that Dazai never truly cared for him and only for Atsushi. Because if that were true, he wouldn't bother to have them work together the way he did. It also comes down to the fact that Dazai himself grew as a person since he met Akutagawa. And this is most evident in the finale of season two, when he puts his hand on Akutagawa's shoulders, smiles genuinely and says "you have become strong." Only after does Akutagawa temper his anger and desire to kill to work with Atsushi to protect the city, Dazai calls him strong in more ways than one. Because all he ever wanted for Akutagawa was, in a way, what Odasaku and the rest of the agency was telling him in beast: to control the raging beast inside of him before it consumes him.

This isn't to say that the abuse was justified. That it was ok for Dazai to insult him and use him in order to achieve his goals. But I really hate when people say that Dazai never cared for Akutagawa, because at the end of the day, it's not true. And that's what really hurts the most about abuse-most of the time, it's done out of love than malice.

Dazai, when he's first introduced: Yeah i wanna kms but I don't want to burden anyone.

Dazai, the rest of the series: fails to khs and burdens anything with a pulse.

Hi! Please pay for my next therapy bill.

Rest of the comic is under the cut, because LONG :0

Also! Content warnings for body horror, guns, blood(although in black and white) and just...horror in general tbh

Operation "Fall of the Hooded Hawk": For situations where one half of skk has to shoot without having clear vision, and relies on the direction of their partner. In this case, Chuuya was giving Dazai coordinates of where to fire by tapping against his ear. (It's kind of like a trust fall)

I scripted a whole followup conversation with more explanation of what exactly the mirror was, and just general context, but this comic has gotten so long that I'm gonna write that as a short scene in prose, because it's mostly dialogue and if I try to draw it all then I think my hands will secede from my body lol — I'll probably be able to get that done in the next couple of days. But in the meantime, thanks for reading! :D

(3/5/24 edit: Followup convo is done!)

Ok so my brain did a thing-

Concept: on a mission, Chuuya gets turned into a dog (you'll never guess which breed), and dog Chuuya immediately seeks out the Agency, specifically Dazai, so he can touch him and return him to normal. However, Dazai hates dogs and refuses to associate with him. Meanwhile, the Agency practically adopts him, Atsushi the most out of all of them, and eventually Chuuya just gets comfortable there, finally being taken care of instead of the other way around. He still trailed Dazai around the most, but he gave up and just started enjoying it. Until Atsushi finally convinces a very reluctant Dazai to pet him and it's just. Chuuya

Love resurfacing to ask a stupid, inconsequential question but