I'll Keep My Garden Clean

Gedankenblitze in meinem Kopf

Bin angespannt, steh unter Strom

Und fuck ich sitze in einem Loch

Wie versteinert, regungslos

Will drüber reden, laut schreien

Doch kein Laut aus meiner Kehle

Aus den Gedankenwolken

Prasselt purpurroter Regen

Es heißt "lebe den Moment!"

Doch im Moment will ich nicht leben

Sorry...

Sorry for being a burden.

Sorry for being clingy.

Sorry for being such a mess.

Sorry for having no self control.

Sorry for being insensitive.

Sorry for being thougtless.

Sorry for being heartless.

Sorry for being unempathic.

Sorry for overestimating.

Sorry for not grasping cues.

Sorry for being emotional.

Sorry for overthinking.

Sorry for being distant.

Sorry for being manic.

Sorry for being depressed.

Sorry for being arrogant.

Sorry for hating myself.

Sorry for bothering you.

Sorry for dissapointing you.

Sorry for making excuses.

Sorry for being suicidal.

Sorry for telling you about it.

Sorry for staying.

Sorry for opening up.

Sorry for saying all that.

Sorry for apologizing.

...I'm sorry.

Misjudgement

You found me

When I wished for someone like you.

You adore me

Like i wished for someone to.

You see me

Flawless, pure and fascinating

But I am not

Who you mistake me for.

Mein Leben ist ein Alptraum Monochrom, Schwarz-grau Finde Frieden wenn ich schlaf' viel zu kurz und ich wach auf

Bete das ich nicht mehr aufwach'.

Promises are broken

And the heart 

shatters 

Words get twisted

And the bones

burst

They said you'd be a broken mess but

For me you've been a mesmerizing

painting

Sprawling, full of details in the most intense colours

And when they said youre confusing to them

To me you've been a puzzle my soul never got tired of solving

Soul Drought

Precious urge of self destruction

Take my mind, give me relief

Fill the dried out lake with something

And let me fall again in grief

& Space

Some might see me as a key

Some might feel me deeply 

Some might see me as the door

Some might meet my core

Some might perceive my essence

Some might hear my soul

_______________________________

Follow up / Twin poem to:

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Post by @yudzukii

💬 0  🔁 1  ❤️ 1 · Keys · Some might keep the keys I gave Some might feel their essence Some might remember what I said Some might feel the

Whats a live without passion?

Without a heart full of burning desire?

I'll promise you I'm there

If you promise me the same.

If you can give yourself a chance,

If you can give me a chance,

If you can give us this chance.

I present you my heart,

please take care of it.

I promise to do the same.

I want to feel you again.

I just want you to stay.

All I can remember

Is that I fainted

I took my last breath and

Lost all my senses

Now Im

Barely being,

Anxiously creeping

And haunted by something

With vague reflections