If You’re Struggling, Here’s Some Words From Angry Prayers For Furious Survivors 

Mindy is a kind name. Mindy is a peaceful name. It's just soothing to say, even. Mindy sounds like fairy lights and cool breezes and a gentle smile at soft music wafting over the night.

Ah, this made me cry 💜 Thank you

Happy new year you all! 💛 I wish you all a good start to the year, and I hope these chibirds can help you re-center your values and provide some positivity and motivation! You don’t have to be perfect - let’s just do the best that we can!

2020 Year of Motivation Calendar! ✨

just want to personally say thank you for your avpd posts. they clear a lot up for me and i just feel... validated and secure.

Awwww, this made me smile! I’m so glad they help you Anon. I hope you have a lovely day! ❤️

tavpdfw youre too afraid to express your honest opinion on something so you keep your thoughts as neutral as possible

Workbooks and Self-Help Books for Mental Illnesses & Symptoms

Hello everybody! I was just thinking about how I always recommend people who can’t get therapy to use workbooks, so I thought I’d make a quick list of some you could look at. I’m not comfortable recommending books for things I have not struggled with (like, if I was looking at the description of a book on OCD I’d have no idea if it was good or not) but I think I’ve covered a lot. Some of these are series which have workbooks for specific disorders like bipolar, etc., if you want to find some. Plus, you don’t have to be diagnosed with something to use a workbook if you think it’ll help you.

Workbooks are sometimes made to be done in conjunction with therapy, or something like that, but anyone can still get something out of them if you put in regular work and try to apply the skills.

I’ve linked them all the Amazon because they’re usually cheaper on there.

For reference: DBT = dialectical behaviour therapy, CBT = cognitive behavioural therapy, ACT = acceptance and commitment therapy

Anxiety, Depression, and Intrusive Thoughts

The CBT Anxiety Solution Workbook

The Anxiety and Worry Workbook

The DBT Skills Workbook for Anxiety

The Anxiety Toolkit

Depressed and Anxious: The DBT Workbook

The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression

The Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Depression 

Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts 

The Anxious Thoughts Workbook

Borderline Personality Disorder

The BPD Survival Guide

Stronger Than BPD

You Untangled

Mindfulness for BPD

The BPD Toolbox

Beyond Borderline: True Stories of Recovery 

Interpersonal Problems

The Interpersonal Problems Workbook 

ACT for Interpersonal Issues 

Anger

The DBT Skills Workbook for Anger

The Anger Workbook for Teens

Anger Management for Everyone

ACT on Life Not on Anger

Trauma and PTSD

Overcoming Trauma and PTSD

The PTSD Workbook For Teens

The Complex PTSD Workbook

You Empowered

Self Harm

Freedom from Self harm

Stopping the Pain: A Workbook for Self-Injury

Rewrite: The Journey from Self-Harm to Healing

General Emotional Issues/Multiple Disorders

Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors: A Workbook 

The DBT Skills Workbook

Don’t Let Emotions Run Your Life

The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions

The Mindfulness-Based Emotional Balance Workbook

Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods Workbook

One of the most challenging things I’ve had to learn is that healing must be intentional. There is no one golden day that comes and saves you from all your misery. Healing is a practice. You have to decide that it’s what you want to do and actively do it. You have to make a habit out of it. Once I learned that, I only looked back to see how far I came.

This is really important.

I talk a lot about trauma-based PD’s because that’s what I experience. So I understand that kind the best, and I have some useful thoughts to share.

But it’s not the only kind that exists. And if you don’t have an “explanation” for how your disorder originated, that’s okay. You might not find my writing too relevant -- but that doesn’t make you irrelevant.

You matter, your experiences matter, and you’re still just as welcome here. <3

Shout out to kids with personality disorders whose disorder wasn’t caused by any specific event or a traumatic childhood. Disorders don’t need a specific reason to exist, sometimes they just appear.

a lot of it depends on what you know about yourself! the stressfulness of a job varies SO much from person to person, depending on their abilities and preferences.

I would guess that people with AvPD probably value alone time (it’s restful), anonymity (personal connection is scary), and predictability (if you know what to do, you’re less likely to make a mistake and be criticized).

in general, back room jobs usually involve less face time with people. same with night shifts. stuff like data entry is usually pretty easy and chill, + some jobs like that will be short term, so if you have a hard time quitting, having the endpoint built-in can be a relief.

and if you’re interested in specifically limited-term work and don’t know where to begin, you can look into temp and staffing agencies! they coordinate all kinds of stuff like that, and you can tell them what sort of timespan you’re looking for.

here are some things to think about:

are you more stressed out by social interactions, or having to face things on your own?

can you self-manage? or do you need guidance and support from a boss, partner, or team?

do you learn quickly? how are your executive skills? prioritizing, initiating tasks, staying focused, multi-tasking etc. if these are strong, you might do great working solo (keywords like.. “self-directed” and “independent”)

would you rather interact mostly...

with customers, like in a retail store? (can be very stressful and fast-paced, but you’re basically anonymous from day to day)

or with coworkers, like in an office? (way more predictable and usually slower-paced. but they get to know you over time, so you’re much more visible as a person)

do you like corporate/chain environments, where there’s already lots of structure in place?

there’s generally a clear procedure for changing your hours, quitting, etc. and people don’t take it so personally. and your job is well-defined: you know what’s expected of you

but if having set expectations feels too inflexible and ‘trapped’ for you, then consider small local businesses, or places with very chill management (usually young managers, in my experience)

that’s all the general stuff I can think of ~ so I’m just gonna speak for myself now, and hope the example is useful!

my tactic is to look for jobs that

will put low responsibility/attention on me

involve something I actually like or am good at

and don't set off too many of my anxiety/stress triggers!

for less responsibility and pressure, I personally want to work with a group of other people doing the same job as me -- that way not everything is automatically My Problem, and I can stick to the things I’m good at. it also means I have a better chance of finding someone non-scary to help me and teach me, or to partner with. I can’t handle not knowing what to do, so being (functionally & emotionally) able to ask someone for help is A+.

I gravitate toward working with animals, books, and things I can physically organize or clean. I really enjoy that stuff -- which means it helps me self-soothe throughout the day.

(same with competence!! I feel inadequate and bad at things by default, so getting to do stuff I’m actually good at is really stabilizing and calming for me. but it’s not mandatory.)

I also watch out for things I know I’d dread/probably suck at. I have ADHD and social anxiety, so I try to avoid self-management, fast paced anything, driving, improvising, phone-heavy work, making public announcements and dealing with difficult customers. I generally look for more limited and pre-defined jobs so I know what to expect.

for me, this means even though I’d be fantastic at tech support, I won’t ever apply at a call center (phones! angry people!); with my memory and attention problems, food service would be a total nightmare, and probably so would receptionist work, managing other people, making deliveries, or anything in a very busy environment.

plus, here is a thing that I suspect might be AvPD-specific:

once I’ve had a job somewhere, I feel super anxious and avoid-y about going back there!! ever, for any reason!

it’s really severe (what if I see someone who knows me?? plus all the Shame Memories and associations and visibility agh. this isn’t healthy, but for now it’s where I’m at.) so ~ no jobs at my favorite places, otherwise I may never go back to them, and that would suck.

but on the other hand -- if you can find a place where other people’s normal is close to your normal, you’ll probably feel more at ease. like, book stores are very inviting for people (workers AND customers) who are quiet and not very sociable! gaming stores are super welcoming for geeks! you’ll fit in better if you already resemble the people there. which also means it’s easier to be invisible when you want to.

some things I’m seriously considering right now are

stocking at a bookstore

working at a flower shop or craft store

maybe a maid service or hotel

and I’m realizing that driving is a huge Thing for me, so I’m starting to look at just what’s nearby. that limits my options a lot, but it’s nice to know what my priorities are.

specific job options really depend on your background/skills, what sort of place you live in, etc. (big city vs small town vs work at home, even), but maybe this is a starting point for narrowing it down!

hope it’s helpful =)

do any of you have job suggestions that are fairly low stress? i need to try to get one this summer but i’m Afraid.