It Annoys Me Unreasonably When You Want To Ask People "what Bird And What Mammal Would Make The Worst

It annoys me unreasonably when you want to ask people "what bird and what mammal would make the worst gryphon" as a fun thought exercise, and people with no joy and no imagination always interpret it as "a gryphon that sucks, is physically impossible, and would hate being alive", and - being predictable and lacking in imagination - always, always answer with "a hummingbird and a blue whale lol".

Like come on. Why do you have to suck the fun out of everything. Why not use a fraction of imagination and delightful whimsy. Imagine the combination of a mouse and a sparrow. That creature would be merciless, burtal, absolutely determined to get into your trash and has the power of both wings and hands to do its will. Or a crow and a cat - that thing is smart enough to fuck with people and not afraid to do it. Imagine the ungodly shriek of the noble fox-seagull, also determined to get into your trash.

A gryphon that is a combination of a kangaroo and a cassowary. The only proof we have of a loving god is the fact that those things do not exist. If hell is real, it's full of them. That thing can't fly, but it will run you down, it will kill you, and you will look stupid the whole entire time you're dying.

Why would the first thing that pops into your mind at the words "the worst gryphon" automatically be "a gryphon that hates being alive". Can you not picture a gryphon that fucking loves being alive, and has both the power and the will to make it everyone else's problem.

More Posts from Zookiefyre and Others

6 years ago
Sassy Girl Be Slaying

Sassy girl be slaying

Hm

hm


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3 months ago

my sister was assigned a new school email in middle school that was a combination of what I’m assuming were meant to be random words.

Hers was make.drug@schoolemail

thinking about how my old university's automatic email generation gave my friend Andy Ryan the email address ARYAN88

1 year ago

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Human-Anatomy-For-Artist.com

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1 year ago

99 legal sites to download literature

The Classics

Browse works by Mark Twain, Joseph Conrad and other famous authors here.

Classic Bookshelf: This site has put classic novels online, from Charles Dickens to Charlotte Bronte.

The Online Books Page: The University of Pennsylvania hosts this book search and database.

Project Gutenberg: This famous site has over 27,000 free books online.

Page by Page Books: Find books by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and H.G. Wells, as well as speeches from George W. Bush on this site.

Classic Book Library: Genres here include historical fiction, history, science fiction, mystery, romance and children’s literature, but they’re all classics.

Classic Reader: Here you can read Shakespeare, young adult fiction and more.

Read Print: From George Orwell to Alexandre Dumas to George Eliot to Charles Darwin, this online library is stocked with the best classics.

Planet eBook: Download free classic literature titles here, from Dostoevsky to D.H. Lawrence to Joseph Conrad.

The Spectator Project: Montclair State University’s project features full-text, online versions of The Spectator and The Tatler.

Bibliomania: This site has more than 2,000 classic texts, plus study guides and reference books.

Online Library of Literature: Find full and unabridged texts of classic literature, including the Bronte sisters, Mark Twain and more.

Bartleby: Bartleby has much more than just the classics, but its collection of anthologies and other important novels made it famous.

Fiction.us: Fiction.us has a huge selection of novels, including works by Lewis Carroll, Willa Cather, Sherwood Anderson, Flaubert, George Eliot, F. Scott Fitzgerald and others.

Free Classic Literature: Find British authors like Shakespeare and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, plus other authors like Jules Verne, Mark Twain, and more.

Textbooks

If you don’t absolutely need to pay for your textbooks, save yourself a few hundred dollars by reviewing these sites.

Textbook Revolution: Find biology, business, engineering, mathematics and world history textbooks here.

Wikibooks: From cookbooks to the computing department, find instructional and educational materials here.

KnowThis Free Online Textbooks: Get directed to stats textbooks and more.

Online Medical Textbooks: Find books about plastic surgery, anatomy and more here.

Online Science and Math Textbooks: Access biochemistry, chemistry, aeronautics, medical manuals and other textbooks here.

MIT Open Courseware Supplemental Resources: Find free videos, textbooks and more on the subjects of mechanical engineering, mathematics, chemistry and more.

Flat World Knowledge: This innovative site has created an open college textbooks platform that will launch in January 2009.

Free Business Textbooks: Find free books to go along with accounting, economics and other business classes.

Light and Matter: Here you can access open source physics textbooks.

eMedicine: This project from WebMD is continuously updated and has articles and references on surgery, pediatrics and more.

Read More


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6 years ago

I literally cannot fathom that I’m seeing HTTYD 3 TODAY. It feels surreal. Actual years of waiting and theorizing and f e e l s culminating into today. I keep alternating between laughing and crying what am I supposed to do 😭


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6 months ago

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.


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6 years ago

Hoooo boy I’m in the theater it’s go time!!! Time for the adventure of a lifetime and the end of an era!!!!!!


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7 months ago

Thank you, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I love you endlessly.

Redditors competing to make the worst volume sliders possible...

Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.
Thank You, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I Love You Endlessly.

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zookiefyre - ZookieFyre
ZookieFyre

Hello, I’m Zookie (she/her)! I've got a “slight” addiction to HTTYD. Stuff may be posted here. Eventually.

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