‘nuff Said.

disabled consistency prt. 2 prt. 1 here (u dont need to read it to understand this post)

what happens to consistency, to habits, when you have a dynamic disability?

i want us to understand the differences between having a consistent body and having an ever changing one. sometimes you could be so healthy you are working/studying, exercising a few times a week, socialising, and independently caring for yourself. but other times.. you’re bedbound? can’t even shower and brush your teeth twice a day? can’t keep up with texting your friends or social media? what habit is surviving that.

you work so hard to build habits and follow routines you and your doctors have set, and then you achieve it, but then it all gets taken away in a flare-up. you wonder what the point is. its a constant vicious cycle. even abled people know its hard to build habits. it takes time. and you might not have that time.

for abled people, theres no time limit on building a habit. they might have a goal in mind of when they want to achieve it, but theres no actual clock ticking in the background.

for me, and for other dynamically disabled people, we are on a time crunch. you may not be aware of it, but you are. it’s always a race to get things done while you can, build those habits and routines and get consistent and get your life together while you can. because even if you’re not thinking it, you are living on a countdown until your next flare-up. until the next crash, the next time you lose all your progress.

and that cycle, is exhausting. it’s like building a sandcastle right on the shore. you build it and you get to revel in it for a second. then it’s gone. there may be a little bump in the sand where your hard work had just stood, but essentially, you are starting from scratch. while the abled people are up the beach a few metres and their sand is perfectly wet and perfectly dry and the waves never reach it.

then those same people, tell you to just keep building. “eventually you’ll get there!” “keep trying!” “habits take time!” they say. but how? there will always be another wave.

understanding this difference in experience is so important if you want to understand why you can’t just tell a disabled person to form habits or be consistent and expect results.

exactly 😭😭 its always like “aw im so sorry i get it ive been through the same” and then ur like ah shit not another one.. :((

it hurts hearing other disabled people talk about medical mistreatment.

like i am partly grateful to not be alone of course, but i really wish it wasnt a common or even standard occurrence.

breaks my heart.

Idk who needs to hear this, but “it could always be worse” is a genuinely harmful mindset. And that applies to multiple situations whether it be mental health or physical health. Yes it could be worse, but it could also be significantly better. You deserve to reach out for help before you drown in your issues. No matter if someone drowns in 4 feet of water or 20, they are still just as dead.

Ok so, I just remembered how people in the comments of a tiktok video were being assholes, and I want to rant now :3

The video showed two wheelchair users at a train(?), who had just arrived to their stop to find nobody was there with a ramp so they could leave the train. One of them blocked the door so it wouldn't close, and this lasted for 15 minutes. The train was stopped for said 15 minutes. There was a button by the door, that said that it'd contact the driver when pressed. It didn't. People offered to go find the driver, and they came back with the news that there were no people in the platform to put the ramp. In the end, passengers had to go out, and place the ramp themselves, before the train could carry on. The wheelchair users had warned they were coming, and asked to have the ramp put there so they could get down. The platform turned out to have workers, they all just ran away because they'd never encountered the situation in which they needed to do this simple task.

Because of the workers' negligence, the train was forced to stop for 15 minutes.

Everyone's comments?

"Why did they block the doors and stop the train? So selfish" Selfish were workers who refused to do their job.

"What if someone had needed to get to their stop urgently? They shouldn't have stopped the train" It wasn't the disabled people's fault, it was the workers who were negligent.

"Why didn't they just wheel themselves down those steps?" They shouldn't have to risk their (expensive) chairs just because people didn't do what they were paid to do.

"If I had been in that train I would've been pissed, how dare you stop it" And you probably wouldn't have even thought about fixing the problem yourself, would you?

"Entitled assholes" Ok I'll leave you stranded in a train with everyone who could help you get down outright refusing to. Let's see who's an entitled asshole now.

If someone fights for accessibility, as much as it might be a bother for you, you do not have the right to be mad at them. If someone fights for accessibility, it is exclusively the fault of a world catered exclusively for able-bodied people.

So next time you think, "hey the consequences of these disabled people fighting for their rights bother me", instead of blaming them for this, help them solve the issue. This way, next time they will not have to fight at all.

Able bodied people, go out and fight for a fucking accessible world if you're not an asshole.

[ Able-bodied people are encouraged to reblog this post, but try not to derail ]

why arent more able bodied people fighting for disability advocacy?

see disabled people as humans, as peers, as equals.

we deserve access to everything you do. we deserve the chance to have a happy and comfortable life just as you do.

dont push us out of sight and out of mind.

we do not deserve that. we are equals.

quiet reblog

✨ Things I'm insecure about because of my disabilities ✨

Being unreliable

Having a messy room

Abdominal bloating

Not being 100% on top of my hygiene

Having to excuse myself to the washroom more often

Using my mobility aids

Random bruising

My chicken (weak) legs

Having to explain myself to strangers

Taking the accessible seating on the bus/train

Tripping over myself

My brain fog (I used to have a fantastic memory, I feel like I come off as stupid now)

Being super sweaty

Not being "good representation"

Leaving functions early

Sitting on the floor in public

And so much more. This is a reminder that you're not alone in feeling gross or undesirable, it's also okay to feel that way.

Sometimes you need to feel the feelings before you deal with them.

okay it got better for sureeee!!

its a bit of a slow start for me personally, but i thoroughly enjoyed the 2/3 and then the 3/3 even more!

im not sure if i will get the sequel or not, ill read a few more books and see if im still thinking about emily wilde after that.

spoilers below

wendell and emily’s dynamic is hilarious after the proposal. they are so direct with each other normally, but when it comes to romance they just avoid actually speaking of it as such.

i really enjoyed how the town accepted emily’s way of being, that she is not good with attention or small talk or pleasantries. they didnt demand any kind of thanks from her, they knew she was thankful without it.

3.5/5 ⭐️

im reading emily wilde’s encyclopaedia of faeries right now and im not sure how i feel about it.

like i like it dont get me wrong. i eat anything up that has fairies of any kind.

but im a very.. emotional person, and so the format of the book being emily’s diary, and her being quite a.. professional and almost stoic? person, doesnt quite engage me as much.

maybe she taps into her emotions later in the story (i’m about a 1/3 of the way through) so idk!! thats just my thoughts so far

I know I'm shouting into the void with this one but like. Genuinely so many low support needs people dont understand what it's like having even medium support needs. Like I am entirely dependent on other people for many of my needs. I can not see a doctor without someone else scheduling the appointment, taking me there and doing a large amount of the communication for me.

If my caretaker had not been accepting of me being trans and invested hundreds of hours into psych appointments and taking me to my endocrinologist and doing all the paperwork involved with my name change and literally taking a week off work to stay with me in the hospital for surgery etc i would have just like. Never transitioned. My ability to transition was entirely dependent on a singular person and that's what a lot of other parts of my life are like as well. and that's fucking terrifying and a great way to be neglected and abused in ways that are horribly hard to get away from.

I dont drive, I dont work, I struggle to leave the house at all, I dont fucking communicate with people majority of the time. The things that are hard for you? I probably can not do them to begin with. No one in my family lives even close to a comparable life to me. None of my irl friends do. I'm incredibly isolated.

And then I go online and see people rant about how easy MSN and HSN people have it because we just get everything we need and how because people can tell we are disabled everything is so easy because none of you even manage to listen to us talk about the neglect and abuse and trauma we face/d. I see people angry at their (more) disabled siblings for getting care they need to survive instead of mad at society for creating a system where its incredibly hard for families to take care of both a higher support needs child and another child.

And I see people who live completely independent lives who work and drive and make their own doctors appointments and grocery shop and travel by themselves call themselves MSN (I could go on a rant about how that's also often the fault of LSN influencers for not leaving a lot of room in their own community for legitimate struggle but that's for another day).

I just want my needs met. I want to be able to decide where I live. I want choice in my care. I want to be able to have community with those like me. I want others to realize I exist and leave the words i have to describe my existence alone. I want others to listen to what I have to say about what my life is like.

I'm saving up for a bath seat and a wheelie tray that can be used in bed or on the couch... I know most of you are in a very similar financial position to me but if anyone out there has a few $ to spare, I'd really appreciate the help ✌️

my Ko-fi

THIS THANK YOU.

I don't want to ask AI a question. I don't want AI to write my sentences for me, at all ever. I don't want AI search bars to be the default and I don't want them to be in such a way that I can't opt out. I don't want this kind of AI in my life and there is no such thing as AI art, there is only theft of art from human artists by AI scrapers. I don't want any of this, I hate it. Maybe in a world that isn't driven by tech bro capitalism we can see machines doing all the dangerous inane things so humans can be free to pursue life and creativity. But that's not what's happening right now and I hate it.