C Ptsd - Blog Posts

Post-Traumatic Stress Adjacent!

[plain text: Post-Traumatic Stress Adjacent! /end plain text.]

Post-traumatic stress adjacent, or PTSD adjacent - I titled the post the former because whenever I hear PTSD, my brain automatically assumes it's not C-PTSD, but the user may call it as they wish!

This flag is for those who are either unsure if they have a post traumatic stress disorder or if they only experience symptoms; or if they are unsure which disorder they have out of PTSD or C-PTSD. This flag is left vague so anyone with the disorders, or who is questioning, or only experiencing traits, may use it!

[ID: Two images;

the first image is a flag with nine equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the stripes are cocoa brown, dull red, orange brown, sandy yellow, misty green, sea green, denim blue, dark blue purple, and and dark purple brown. In the center of the flag is the PTSD symbol colored icy blue. The symbol consists of a hand with a plant growing out of it. End first ID;

the second image is a striped flag like the first image, but there is no symbol. End second ID.]

[ID: A divider that consists of a thin white line with three stars on each side. End ID.]

Flag by me. Colors sampled from PTSD and C-PTSD flags by @blood-moon-night-coining. PTSD symbol courtesy of @themogaidragon.

ADHD + Autism + BPD + C-PTSD combo flags!

[ID: Two images. The first one is a flag with eleven equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the colors are black, coffee brown, dusty orange, dusty yellow, white, yellow green, blue green, blue, purple, red pink, and hot pink. The second image is a flag identical to the first one, but with the addition of the outreached hand from the PTSD symbol holding the BPD, Autism, and ADHD symbols. All of the symbols are colored black. End ID.]

PTSD symbol courtesy of @themogaidragon. Link to post: https://www.tumblr.com/themogaidragon/719033263724822528/hi-im-looking-for-the-ptsd-flag-with-the-symbol?source=share

C-PTSD flag colors sampled from this flag by @blood-moon-night-coining. Link to post: https://blood-moon-night-coining.tumblr.com/post/735812319715688448/found-the-ptsd-symbol-by-themogaidragon-from-this

Requested by @clownshrooms. Tagging @mad-pride.

Additional flag and transparent symbol:

[ID: Two images. The first image is a flag with eleven equal horizontal stripes. In descending order, the colors are black, coffee brown, dusty orange, dusty yellow, white, yellow green, blue green, blue, purple, red pink, and hot pink. In the center is the hand from the PTSD symbol holding the BPD, Autism, and ADHD symbols. All of the symbols are colored white. The second image is the hand from the PTSD symbol holding the BPD, Autism, and ADHD symbols. The symbols are colored black. End ID.]

made a meme for anyone else out there who gets stuck in the "it wasnt that bad!" or "maybe im not traumatized!" loops because trauma denial sucks ass!!! you all are valid!!!

too fuckin close to relapsing..fuck.

ok i'm gonna go out and say this

my c-ptsd for some reason made me have symptoms like plurality, except the amnesia barriers would slowly wear down and switches could be triggered in 3 different ways. gestures (like doing that yoga thing kids do), triggers (apple juice) and disassociation (you know this one...)

also no i don't think i would've been considered an endogenic system (i questioned that myself for some reason. c-ptsd is LITERALLY caused by trauma 12 year old me [I AM 13 NOW DON'T BAN ME])

when an alter of the riddler formed, he was soooooo out of his element

he asked a classmate what year it was.... he knew it wasn't the 80s but like.... when

and my therapist asked him if harley quinn was his girlfriend. he was like "i have a girlfriend?"

even with all the cons that come with it, man those plurality moments were so funny. smh

10 likes and i'll share some more (yes i'm doing the youtuber gimmick idk why)

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

Children

The diagnosis of PTSD was originally developed for adults who had suffered from a single-event trauma, such as rape, or a traumatic experience during a war. However, the situation for many children is quite different. Children can suffer chronic trauma such as maltreatment, family violence, and a disruption in attachment to their primary caregiver. In many cases, it is the child’s caregiver who caused the trauma. The diagnosis of PTSD does not take into account how the developmental stages of children may affect their symptoms and how trauma can affect a child’s development.

The term developmental trauma disorder (DTD) has been proposed as the childhood equivalent of C-PTSD. This developmental form of trauma places children at risk for developing psychiatric and medical disorders. Bessel van der Kolk explains DTD as numerous encounters with interpersonal trauma such as physical assault, sexual assault, violence or death. It can also be brought on by subjective events such as betrayal, defeat or shame.

Repeated traumatization during childhood leads to symptoms that differ from those described for PTSD. Cook and others describe symptoms and behavioural characteristics in seven domains:

Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”

Biology – “sensory-motor developmental dysfunction, sensory-integration difficulties, somatization, and increased medical problems”

Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”

Cognition – “difficulty regulating attention, problems with a variety of ’executive functions’ such as planning, judgement, initiation, use of materials, and self-monitoring, difficulty processing new information, difficulty focusing and completing tasks, poor object constancy, problems with ‘cause-effect’ thinking, and language developmental problems such as a gap between receptive and expressive communication abilities.”

Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

Adults

Adults with C-PTSD have sometimes experienced prolonged interpersonal traumatization beginning in childhood, rather than, or as well as, in adulthood. These early injuries interrupt the development of a robust sense of self and of others. Because physical and emotional pain or neglect was often inflicted by attachment figures such as caregivers or older siblings, these individuals may develop a sense that they are fundamentally flawed and that others cannot be relied upon. This can become a pervasive way of relating to others in adult life, described as insecure attachment. This symptom is neither included in the diagnosis of dissociative disorder nor in that of PTSD in the current DSM-5 (2013). Individuals with Complex PTSD also demonstrate lasting personality disturbances with a significant risk of revictimization.

Six clusters of symptoms have been suggested for diagnosis of C-PTSD:

alterations in regulation of affect and impulses;

alterations in attention or consciousness;

alterations in self-perception;

alterations in relations with others;

somatization;

alterations in systems of meaning.

Experiences in these areas may include:

Changes in emotional regulation, including experiences such as persistent dysphoria, chronic suicidal preoccupation, self-injury, explosive or extremely inhibited anger (may alternate), and compulsive or extremely inhibited sexuality (may alternate).

Variations in consciousness, such as amnesia or improved recall for traumatic events, episodes of dissociation, depersonalization/ derealization, and reliving experiences (either in the form of intrusive PTSD symptoms or in ruminative preoccupation).

Changes in self-perception, such as a sense of helplessness or paralysis of initiative, shame, guilt and self-blame, a sense of defilement or stigma, and a sense of being completely different from other human beings (may include a sense of specialness, utter aloneness, a belief that no other person can understand, or a feeling of nonhuman identity).

Varied changes in perception of the perpetrators, such as a preoccupation with the relationship with a perpetrator (including a preoccupation with revenge), an unrealistic attribution of total power to a perpetrator (though the individual’s assessment may be more realistic than the clinician’s), idealization or paradoxical gratitude, a sense of a special or supernatural relationship with a perpetrator, and acceptance of a perpetrator’s belief system or rationalizations.

Alterations in relations with others, such as isolation and withdrawal, disruption in intimate relationships, a repeated search for a rescuer (may alternate with isolation and withdrawal), persistent distrust, and repeated failures of self-protection.

Changes in systems of meaning, such as a loss of sustaining faith and a sense of hopelessness and despair.

What's the difference between cptsd and developmental trauma disorder? Neither are recognised here so I am only diagnosed with ptsd but feel it doesn't fit me. My abuse was on going in child hood

I gotcha, hm that’s probably because C-PTSD is not an official diagnosis as of yet with the DSM-5, I understand feeling like you don’t fit under that diagnosis. With the way the DSM is set up now, PTSD carries a lot of different, varying causes for trauma (at incredibly different developmental times in our lives!) But you’re not alone in feeling that childhood trauma is different from PTSD. 

I found out Bessel van der Kolk (renowned trauma specialist) felt that distinction between types of trauma was important enough to have its own diagnosis. (x) Saying, “While PTSD is a good definition for acute trauma in adults, it doesn’t apply well to children, who are often traumatized in the context of relationships… Because children’s brains are still developing, trauma has a much more pervasive and long-range influence on their self-concept, on their sense of the world and on their ability to regulate themselves.“

So they’re still fighting for that separate ‘developmental trauma disorder’ diagnosis, but for now all we have in the DSM-5 is the “preschool subtype for PTSD: 6 years or younger” (x) which appears more like an exclusion of certain symptoms of PTSD, that allows for a lower threshold for diagnosis in children. But I’m with you and van der Kolk, I think there’s definitely a need for a separate diagnosis given the vast developmental differences between adults and children.

Ok, I’m getting to the answer for your question! Just the fun, lotsa information I found scenic route way. :-)

Even tho C-PTSD isn’t officially recognized by the DSM-5, it seems that many therapists (especially those specializing in trauma) know and understand it, and can give you further insight into how it could apply to you. In case you’re looking for more information about C-PTSD, I’d check out Out of the Fog’s description of it. (x)

So we’re seeing C-PTSD covers a lot of ground as far as trauma goes… but the main point is that it’s a result of - “chronic or longterm exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape.”

And developmental trauma disorder we know is fighting for its own diagnosis, as it progressively attempts to zero in on a specific group (children) that deal with chronic or longterm, ongoing, and inescapable trauma. 

So with all of this information, I guess I’d describe C-PTSD working more as an umbrella term, and developmental trauma disorder (DTD) fitting underneath it. Seeing as there are multiple and varying causes for C-PTSD, which could include developmental trauma in DTD, it makes sense that it serves more as an inclusive diagnosis whereas DTD exclusively focuses in on children because of their brain development. 

Ok! So long story short, some criteria for developmental trauma disorder and C-PTSD overlap. Chronic or longterm, inescapable trauma, check. But DTD becomes more specific in its criteria because it only includes children, due to the lack of development in their brain (as compared with a grown adult). Whereas C-PTSD can be applied to children and adults alike, as long as their trauma was chronic or longterm, and felt inescapable. 

Sorry if that got repetitive, but I hope that answered your question! 

The Moonlight, the stars, the willow outside the window.. stuffed lamb on the floor

Deep inside this memory filled dream

Locked behind this door

Holding my secrets

My cries, my screams

Childhood dreams

Memories of ruby drenched sheets

The only ones

Who have seen the unseen

S. S.

Little Intro

Hi, My call me Dee! I'm a 23-year-old NonBinary[Neutrois] Spoonie. Over the past few years, I've gotten a few official DX’s after suffering for years since I was really young. Its been hard trying to come to terms with things and accepting my mind and body for what they are and the illnesses I do have. It's taken this long to stop fighting myself and consider extensive therapy and medicine. I tried when I was younger but being a mentally Ill and hurting kid I didn’t want to accept certain things. Especially when society makes things like mental illness so taboo. But I’m 23 now and I realize I went through nothing a child should ever have to, and yes I survived but at the cost of my mental and physical well being. Coming to terms with that, and that I can't and will never be fully able-bodied is hard. I'm hoping that eventually, I learn to accept and love myself the way I am and stop comparing myself to others. A bit about my conditions:

Mental:

•C-PTSD

•Anxiety/Panic Disorder [Severe]

•BPD

•Bipolar

•Depression [Severe]

•Dissociative Disorder

•DPDR

•OCD

•Paranoid Personality Disorder

•Maladaptive Daydreaming. [not sure if this counts much.]

| I also think I have OSDD-1b but I'm too scared to tell my new Doctor just yet.

Physical:

•IBS-D

•Fibromyalgia

•PCOS

•Psoriasis

•Terrible sinus/ear issues that we don't know what it's from yet.

•Eating Disorders. [A and B, as well as BED]  •Sluggish Gallbladder

Medications:

Going to start Vistaril soon for my anxiety. Hope it helps. If anyone is on it too let me know how it helps for you.

Tldr; I'm using this blog as a way to help vent and come to terms with things about my mental and physical health. The past few years have hit me so hard. A lot of trauma memories resurfacing because of trying to recover from abuse and a bad childhood. The stress of this flaring up my body and a lot of invalidation from my mother and family. I just want to at least make a small place for myself where I can feel that I somewhat belong, even a tiny bit.

So..Lets see where this goes. :)

sometimes i forget we have cult trauma

and then i have a ptsd nightmare and go oh yea that shit happened