Edging Your Mind Away - Blog Posts

my daily mantras:

i am not a person. i am an object for use. i exist to be used, fucked, and degraded. i am a toy, a fleshlight, a brainless piece of fuckmeat. i need all of my holes filled with cock and cum. i exist to serve. i am nothing if i am not being fucked and/or preparing myself to be fucked. i edge to dumb myself down and i brainwash myself to serve my true purpose. i must take cock in every hole as often as possible, especially my ass

Finger me fast and hard in exactly the way you know is going to make me squirt over and over again. Then tell me what a messy, disappointing little girl I am. You can’t believe that getting played with made me wet the bed again. Clearly you’re going to have to punish me really harshly this time because I’m such a pathetic mess who just won’t learn her lesson. You don’t like having to hurt me but there’s no other way to get through to such a stupid, helpless little thing. If I could just hold it like a good girl you wouldn’t have to make me cry

I'm going to slowly change everything that turns you on. I'll use hypnosis, conditioning, and gaslighting, until all that gets you off is degrading bimbo objectification. No normal sex will do anything for you.

If you're treated like you're a human being, you'll be turned off. Even the thought of being in control of yourself will be disgusting to you. At the same time, being told to smile because you're pretty, or someone obviously staring at your tits and ass will have you soaking your panties.

Just for fun, that's all I'll do to you. I'll only change your sexual desires. Let's see how long you can stay an independent woman, when every night you rub yourself to thoughts of being face fucked by me while I show you photos of hotter bimbos.

the truly wonderful thing about being denied is losing all sense of self-respect. you no longer think about what is considered “modest” or “appropriate”. when you haven’t been permitted to edge or orgasm for days, weeks, months, filthy thoughts of intense arousal are the only things that fill your otherwise empty head. you can’t stop yourself from dripping from your pathetically eager cunt, even when you haven’t touched recently. you drip in public, a subtle reminder (or not so subtle depending on how much and how often you drip) that you are a sex driven toy, a slave to someone else’s whims. you’d do anything for an opportunity to rub your engorged clit. you’d humiliate yourself for a chance to have a finger, possibly two inside your sloppy pussy for just a second. you’d do unspeakable things in public, around people going about their everyday lives. you’d insert any object your master or owner desires into your own holes just to amuse him. you’d wear demeaning, revealing outfits, clothes that, before, you couldn’t imagine wearing at all, in order to please him. after all, HE is the one who controls your body now. and even if, after all this, he still decides not to let you touch, you do nothing but quietly continue to endure your suffering. you wait for the next opportunity to entertain him and maybe then, maybe, he’ll think about giving you some slack.

Why, hello there. So, I've been poking inside your head a bit and I've found something peculiar. You seem to have both a degradation kink and a praise kink. That has to be hard. Let me try to help.

You, edging there like a mindless piece of fuckmeat. Look at yourself. A slave to your cunt. Such a beautiful fuckdoll! A worthless, pretty toy to use and abuse. Such a good girl for cock!

Drool for me. You look so dumb and cute with your tongue out as you edge! So mindfucked and sexy! This is what you are for. To please. To obey. To expose that slutty body. Pretty girls like yourself are made to be porn. Good girls like yourself are cumdumps for whoever wants to use you. You deserve it! You've done such a good job breaking yourself, going deeper and deeper...

I'm so proud of you. You are turning yourself into a perfect, obedient, beautiful sex object! You are becoming more and more the living entertainment you were meant to be. Why else would you be so pretty if not to give cocks something to cum to?

Such a slutty cunt. You need it so badly, need the attention, need the validation. And you are earning it by being such an amazing good girl! Keep going. Go deeper. I know you'll be the best piece of fuckmeat ever!

Let me humiliate myself for you. Let me debase myself for you. I want your approval so badly I’ll do anything to get it. I want you to be pleased to have me. If that means I have to turn myself into a desperate, needy, pathetic little fuckdoll so be it.

I love that porn has broken me and made me want to be raped by several people and want objects of all sizes to be fucked into all my holes and want people to do horrible degrading things to me. I can't cum without thinking about strangers molesting me and my friends forcing their thick cocks into me only to fill me with their piss.

please don't just edge me until i beg. edge me until i beg and then tell me no. edge me until i'm spending more time on the edge then not in my waking hours. edge me until my begging turns to sobbing. edge me until i'm so certain you will never say yes and give into my begging that my sobbing turns into pathetic pleas for mercy that my heart truly will never be given. edge me until i'm devoid of hope that i'll ever cum again because my love and devotion for you is much stronger then any desire to cum. That's when i want you to finally say yes

Current Mood

Ruin my life.

Decide, before you even *officially* meet me, that you’re going to break my soul, take away my intelligence, ruin any feminist beliefs I have and destroy who I am as a person.

Worm your way into my life and into my mind.

Make me trust you and confide in you, let me tell you my darkest fantasies and make them my reality.

Take away my sweaters and cardigans and replace them with too tight and low tops and skirts so short the barely cover my ass. 

Make me a junkie whore. Make me addicted to drugs and sex. Make me fuck anyone who moves just to get my fix. 

Make me a shell of who I used to be. 

Blackmail

Does any one else like blackmail? Like, it’s fun when a girl is exposed, has her slutty picture with cum leaking out of her cunt and her driver’s license leaked. But it’s even better if she gets forced to perform for someone first. Has her life slowly broken down trying to keep the exposure from happening. Just frantically tries to satisfy some sadist who can destroy her life.

Risk of Ruin

I want a dumb cunt with everything. Life, family, job, all of it. The cunt that knows something is missing. That can’t ever cum the way she truly craves.

The one with those depraved, humiliating thoughts in the back of her mind. You know the ones. The only ones that get you close to that mind blowing orgasm you crave.

Those exposure risk thoughts. Of having a man get a hold of your TimeBomb, or playing the dice game with some strange man.. Waking up each morning knowing you willingly gave up control of your reputation to someone  who only wants to find out how depraved you will get to keep it all from going public.

If that is you cunt, simply let me know.

craving covert noncon and brainwashing so fucking bad right now. worm into my head. violate me. use me. rape my mind until there's nothing left. gaslight me into thinking I love it. make me cum to my own subjugation. I have too many fucking braincells pleeeease I need to be mindfucked I need to be ruined and God itd make me so wet to not even see it coming. im such a naive and trusting little girl ill be your best whore, my mind is ready to take, dont ask permission, message me and get my gaurd down, I'm so desperate I won't even suspect you until it's too late....

So fun...

your partner edging you in front of fucked up porn of kinks you don’t have so your brain starts associating those videos with pleasure until you get turned on by said fucked up kinks against your will just for them 💕

"i don't like it" sub x "don't worry i'll condition u to" dom

Such an amazing loop

More.

More edging.

More porn.

More audios.

You need more.

It's never enough.

It will never be enough.

The more you do it the more you break.

The more you break, the better it feels.

The better it feels, the more you do it.

You lost.

And you love it.

Control

- You submit because you want to feel almost forced to do those things that make you feel dirty.. it excites you beyond anything else. Do things you know you have little intrest in when in other contexts but maybe that exhilarating feeling of manipulation makes you feel that warmth deep inside. It’s like you have this voice inside that lets you know on a level you cannot articulate that you feel that excitement now deep in parts of your mind you don’t discuss with just any other person. I have this voice inside as well. We all have this voice that tells you what is going on is right and you feel good.

- It’s almost like you want me to play with your mind I mean perhaps it is not like you get excited because you love that feeling of manipulation at the hands of another. It’s just it’s a little scary and oddly that small fear makes you feel horny. The hornier you get the deeper you sink in to your desires.

- You might think you crave humiliation or that you crave depravity because you don’t deserve to be excited. However the truth is simpler as you get excited from humiliation & your depravity because you fear you are good fuck toy. Just think about what you haven't considered yet.. When you get to be treated like a toy this voice you trust lets you know you are good. Every minute of it is truly special.

Real-Life Experience

Sir loves watching football. He also loves watching me torture myself with pleasure. Last night, he had me strip naked and lie in front of the television with my legs spread. During play time I had to be touching myself. I could edge, rub my clit, fuck myself with my fingers, whatever I wanted- except cum. During halftime I was on no-touch. Sir made me crawl over to him and use my mouth to pleasure his cock and balls, pussy denied and dripping, until he came deep in my throat. I swallowed every drop, like a good slut should. Then back in front of the television to edge through the second half. When the game was over, he asked me if I wanted to cum now. I was so horny and desperate after nearly two hours of teasing. I ached for that orgasm.

“Yes, Sir… PLEASE. Please. I want it so, so badly. Please let me cum, Sir.”

“Well, you’ve been such a good girl all evening… fine, you can cum.”

“THANK YOU, SIR.”

“-but! You have a choice. You have permission to cum however you want, as hard as you want. You won’t get in trouble if you cum properly. No punishment. But it would make me so very happy if you’d ruin it for me.”

My clit was throbbing with the built-up pleasure. I wanted that orgasm so badly. But I wanted to make Sir happy too.

“But, sir… please. Please, I edged so good.”

“I know, and you can cum. I love watching you cum. But I love watching you ruin it even more. Can you think of a better reason to cum properly than that your ruin would make me happy? Don’t stop touching while you think about it.”

I kept slowly rubbing my clit.

“No, sir… I want to make you happy… but… I want to cum… so much… god…”

“Your choice, princess.”

I struggled so hard, feeling that orgasm build, right on the edge… the orgasm that would take me over, would feel so incredible… maybe the last orgasm I’d be offered for days… yes… yes… yes… I tipped over the edge. And then I ruined it. Hard. For him.

I pulled my hands back to my thighs, screaming at the feeling of my pussy spasming and twitching as all that pleasure slipped away, ensuring I’d stay horny and desperate all night.

He came over then and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead and telling me all the things that make the denial and frustration worth it. “Good girl. I’m so proud of you, princess. You made me so happy today. You’re so perfect like this.”

And then he said the hottest, most perfect, cruelest thing of all.

“Now give me another ruin.”

I love him so much.

It's just a coincidence that more & more you get off to what gets me off. It's not like I have anything to do with it...

tell me what porn to get off to so i can become even more disgusting 💖💖💖 plant all ur desires into my brain so that i can only cum to what turns YOU on

what's your edgeslut level?

✨ Level 1: drippy baby - you edge for awhile each time you want to cum~ you watch your usual porn. it feels so good! maybe it's getting a little longer each time? there's just no way you could go overnight! unless...

✨ Level 2: perverted prince/ss - you like how needy you're starting to get 💕 your taste in porn is getting a little more degrading...anytime you think about it during the day, your clit/dick starts throbbing. just one more day, and then you'll cum. probably...

✨ Level 3: depraved darling - you're starting to crave...permission 💗 you're edging to edging porn now, scrolling through denial tumblr. you've found yourself trying to look dumb and sexy when you edge, spreading your legs more, maybe sticking your tongue out. you've even submitted a few anon asks or texted your partner begging permission to cum. sometimes you cum anyway, other times you wait. it feels good to get permission, but it's scary: sometimes it feels better to be told no...

✨ Level 4: gooning goner - you don't know if you want permission anymore 💋 it's been weeks now. are you even still keeping count? you're edging to porn of other people cumming. your holes/dick are constantly leaking, and it's getting too easy to start with "just one edge" and wake up to find hours have gone by. when you cum or ruin without permission, you start begging to be punished. mantras are constantly running through your head, even when you're not edging: good toys don't cum. wetter is better.

✨ Level 5: needy numbskull - you've lost the ability to cum without permission~ you're edging to recordings of people being degraded and punished. you feel so vulnerable and impressionable all the time; it makes you scared even as it makes you feel aroused. it's hard to think even when you're not edging. the mantras in your head are starting to change: my orgasms don't belong to me. i'm more useful when i'm denied.

✨ Level 6: addicted doll - you stop thinking about cumming at all; you stop thinking about whether you should worry about how dumb you're starting to get. you strip naked and kneel every time you edge, tongue out and drooling, feeling only vague embarrassment. you edge to porn of yourself being punished for ruining without permission, or being forced to ruin. there are still certain things you won't do, even for the chance to cum, but you debase yourself almost voluntarily for your betters now🧡

✨ Level 7: useful idiot - you sneak away to edge at work/school 💖 you don't even need porn to edge now. you don't even need to think about it, or to be told to do it - you just do. you only beg to cum in order to humiliate yourself further for your betters, to give them pleasure in saying "no." you don't want it anymore, hell, you don't want to do anything but please them. you'll hump the air for their amusement, you'll lick their cum off the floor, you'll let them punish your cunt/dick for even thinking it deserves to cum. the mantra's changed again, your final form: pathetic sluts don't deserve to cum. pets like me are made to be needy. if the thought of cumming even crosses your mind, you run to your betters and beg to be punished until it goes away. who needs a chastity belt? you've broken yourself all on your own 💋💕💗💖💓💘

[captioning or tagging this post with my DNI/hard limits will get you blocked. i need to keep my notes safe for me 💕]

You know what's hot?

Being property. Being an object that someone can own or throw away. Being brainless and customizable. Having no identity outside of your submission. Having your holes ready and available at all times. Being collared, leashed and tracked. Being punished for disobedience and beaten for amusement. Having all your choices made for you. Being expected to cook, clean and serve. Needing the approval of a man to feel content and happy. Doing literally anything to prove that you deserve to stick around. It's hot to be an owned cunt. Make yourself useful. Be a good girl.

Reading your blog has me so horny. I just want to edge and drip while reading your posts and never ever cum

aww 💕 you should know, tho...

it'll make you worse. those kinks you already have? get ready for them to go up to 11. those kinks you don't think you have? get ready to get them.

it'll make you needy. other people's attention will be like a drug. you'll be dying for their approval.

it'll make you dumb. you will have the kind of empty mind a Buddhist initiate dreams of.

you will lose time. one edge turns into ten turns into twenty... hours go by with your hand between your legs and you won't even notice.

most of all... you'll give up. on what, exactly, is impossible to say. maybe you'll give up on ever getting permission. maybe you'll give up your rights to cum whenever you want. or you'll give up on anything ever feeling as good as denial. or you'll give up the idea of being human entirely and become a pet thing mostly made of need. regardless, you will give up. you will give in. in so many ways.

enjoy 💕

Reasons i shouldnt let myself cum:

-i dont deserve it

-its better to edge and be horny 24/7 so i can be ready for anything a Man migjt use me for

-cunts dont have needs

-the decision is mever mine, only Men can telll me if i can cum or mot

-i am not a person, i am just a thing that makes Cocks cum, and objects dont have orgasms

-edging is waaayy hotter than cuming

-it makes me feel like a good cunt when i cause myself any discomfort or pain, so it makes sense to never orgasm

Please punish me for getting wet. Only a pathetic, deranged little whore would start ruining her panties from hearing all the fucked up, violent things you want to do to me. Show me just what dirty, drippy little messes like me get. Once my ass is nice and bruised run a finger over my pussy and feel how soaked I am. Tell me I’m obviously an even more hopeless case than you thought. Clearly my pussy is just too slutty. If I want to be a good girl I’ll have to give it up entirely. Then shove yourself in my ass dry and enjoy my pretty little screams.

Numbing cream

This morning I had some time to be lazy in the bed before work. I was going to edge, then I remembered the numbing cream. I have Emla for using before laser epilation (to get rid of the hair) on my labia. 

I’ve been fantasizing about BeingFuckedWithNumbingCreamOn SlowlyLosingSensationAnd WastingTheRareChanceToCum for some time now. Wanted to try how it really feels.

I took the cream from the bed side drawer and put a large amount on my finger. 

Even the thought of this made my pussy drip. Without even touching my clit, I was on the edge. It’s all in the mind, after all ;) In my strange mind. 

I reached my clit and rubbed the whole amount in circles, until it was all soaked. Some on the surrounding area too. I made sure there was an excess amount of cream directly on the clit. 

I edged, just from this brief stimulation on my clit. With the thought of the numbing cream, it was so intense. I stopped touching, but I was going to go over the edge, I could feel it. So I opened my legs wide and opened my labia with hands wide, to stop the slightest contact on my clit. Like that, I waited for 10 minutes, and rubbed to test. The sense had decreased, but I could still feel the touch. Ahh it was soo sweet. I waited another 15 minutes and rubbed again. Oh my.. nothing. 

My clit stopped existing. I touched and rubbed and pressed. Nothing. Just a piece of nerveless meat. Like your mouth after the dentist gives you the anesthetic shot.

My clit completely numbed, I reached for my dildo. It is very smooth, polished wood, curved, to press the right spots inside. I started fucking myself with it. There was a lot of pleasure from the dildo too. I thought I was getting close. If I went over the edge I decided to let it happen so that I prove myself that I can cum from penetration only. I would cum, and remove the dildo just when I start to throb, and ruin it. 

Idea of ruining a penetration-only orgasm sounded so evil. Made me hotter. 

I fucked myself so fast with the dildo. Without my clit feeling nothing, the pleasure was intense, but just not enough. Or maybe it would be enough if I could continue as long as necessary but my arm would get so tired after like 4-5 minutes I’d need to stop and rest. With each frenzied thrust, I edged. With each stop for rest, I calmed down. As I was fucking myself with the dildo like crazy I heard these inner voices of some strangers I imagined playing with me:

 “This is all you get for pleasure now. Your clit is gone. Kaputt. Nada. All you get is penetration only. Cum from this.” 

This was so hot and I was so close I was panting and moaning in the bedroom out loud and sweating… Yet I could not go over that edge.

More than an hour of furiously trying, my arms were very tired, and my body was very frustrated. I gave up. I dressed, and came to work.

My clit came back like half and hour later I left home. It started throbbing with need under my jeans.

I have been at work for 3 hours. I can not do real work. I can not concentrate on anything. The ache on my pussy has consumed me. The need is overwhelming.

When I talk to my colleagues, it’s like I’m faking the conversation. What I’m really thinking about is the ache.

Instead of doing proper work, I am typing this on my laptop, getting wetter and more needy as type it.

I love the precipice between order and obedience. That moment right after my brain registers a command and just before my body carries it out, especially when the command pushes me into new submissive territory. I step outside of myself for that moment and watch myself process it. Am I really going to do that? I could never. I would never. It’s too much. Too embarrassing. Too vulnerable. Too delicious to deny. My body has already made the choice. All I can do is watch as I hand over another piece of my dignity to please them, knowing I’ll do it again and again until nothing’s left but pleasure and obedience.

Woke up so horny edging awake

Baby, what are you talking about? Of course it looks slutty, I thought that was the whole point! What? You're kidding me right? You've been showing off your body online forever! It's like, your favorite thing in the world! Look, stop joking around. You're starting to worry me.

Hang on. What do you mean you never send pics? You... oh, you really don't remember, do you? I'm... honestly I don't know how you can forget something like that! You told me over and over it was your favorite thing in the world! Do you seriously not remember? You are the one that rubbed and rubbed telling me how amazing the attention felt!

Shy? Since when? I mean, you pretend to be shy sometimes, sure. To make the men you send pics to feel special. The whole "I never do this but you got me soooo horny" bit. You taught me that! Come on. You're fucking with me, right?

Slow down. Something's... wrong. I mean, people forget stuff all the time, but this is kinda scary. How do you think we started chatting? Okay. Yeah. Except it didn't happen that way. You sent a pic first thing! I have the screenshot right here! Oh, come on, like I'd just happen to have a photoshopped screenshot prepared!

Look, have you been sleeping? Eating well? Going to the gym?

Have you... you know, talked to someone about this? Not online, honey. Like... a professional. Because it's not normal to forget that kind of stuff!

College? What college? You dropped out when you... you know. When you joined that site. The full time porndoll plan, remember? Look, I'll send you the link! That's you! Oh, you're accusing me of faking your verification picture? No, I've never even seen your ID! You told me you thought you look dreadful in it!

Okay, let's calm down. You trust me, right? We'll... I don't know, find a way to... fix this somehow. Get you well. I know a very good doctor, in fact.

I'll take care of it. So for now just... relax and only worry about making content. The new lights should be arriving soon. You don't remember ordering those either? Oh dear. This is worse than I thought. Okay, panicking won't solve a thing. Here, take this. It'll help you calm down. I'll go call the doctor right now and in the meantime you can edge your slutty pussy a bit.

That always relaxes you. You told me that yourself, after all.

Edging is your self hypnosis. It keeps you grounded and level, reminding you what you are.

You can’t get enough of how it feels to tune the world out and rub. That aching feeling, the desperate need for friction, your clit is reacting now as you read this.

Squeezing your thighs any chance you get, mindlessly humping as you sit, desperate for that feeling. Your mind goes beautifully blank, your pussy starts to flood and then you drop…