Incorrect Bad Batch Quotes - Blog Posts

*Crosshair, teaching Omega how to shoot his sniper rifle*

Crosshair: Aim for Hunter’s feet.

Omega, horrified: But… why?!

Crosshair: Let’s scare the bejeezus out of him.

Hunter: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’ Tech: …You are not ready to hear about trees.

hello there

CLONE EDITION

moving has been very stressful for me so pls enjoy these as i rip fistfuls of hair out of my head because previous tenants dont know how to take care of a beautiful 1920s home

yes im rewatching tcw again mind ur business

IM BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING

makes me very happy that tumblr still loves incorrect quotes cus bitch me too

throws these at you and scampers away on all fours

bonus

Phee: I love you

Tech: I know

phee:..........

Tech: I may process thoughts and feelings differently then most, but I can still grasp the concept of love and feel it.

Phee: I love you

Tech: I know

Phee esperated sigh and eye roll: your supposed to say it back brown eyes

Wrecker, excited: Tech! Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Tech: I can’t read minds, Wrecker.

Tech: But yes I know what you’re thinking,

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 12

Omega: Why are Hunter and Crosshair sitting with their backs to each other? Tech: They had a fight. Omega: Then why are they holding hands? Tech: They get sad when they fight.

Omega: Hey besties- Crosshair: Die. Omega: What did I do to you-

Hunter to Crosshair: Turn that frown upside-down!  *a little while later* Hunter: What are you doing?  Crosshair, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working. Hunter: I taught Gonky a new trick. *throws ball* Fetch! Gonky: *just stands there* Tech: He didn’t do it. Hunter: I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.

Crosshair: Hold the fuck up.  Wrecker: Excuse me?  Crosshair: I said hold the fuck up.  Wrecker: Crosshair: I’m the fuck up, hold me.

Wrecker: But that place is haunted. Omega: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident! Wrecker, marching into the haunted house: I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!

Echo: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

Echo: What’s your greatest weakness? Tech: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics. Echo: Could you give an example? Tech: Yes, I could.

Tech: Are you this rude to everyone?!  Crosshair: Yup.  Crosshair: Don't think you're special.

Wrecker: There was a motor close to where I am right now.  Echo: A motor- a motorcycle?  Wrecker: Oh sorry, a murder.  Crosshair: That escalated quickly.

Echo: Okay, can we all stop saying stupid shit for a moment, please?!  Tech: Alright. Crosshair: Hey, I-  Echo: SHUT UP!  Crosshair: I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED MY SENTENCE!!  Tech: It was bound to be stupid. 

Echo: I’m so tired. Wrecker: Did you get to bed late? Echo: No. Wrecker: Did you do something strenuous? Echo: No. Wrecker: Then why are you tired? Echo: I’m alive. Wrecker: Sounds exhausting.

Crosshair: You know what they say. No pain, no gain. Hunter: What exactly do you have to gain from BLEEDING OUT?!

Crosshair: *mixing different alcoholic beverages together* Wrecker: What are you making? Crosshair: A mistake.

Crosshair: How does that even work?  Wrecker, mocking him: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?!  Crosshair: Your face doesn’t make sense.

Wrecker, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.  Tech, entering the room with a small cut on his ankle: Who the f-

Wrecker: You’re overthinking this.  Echo: You don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, Wrecker. What if I’m underthinking?

Hunter: Where’s Omega? Crosshair: Around. Hunter: Around? Hunter: You don’t have any idea, do you? Omega, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

Tech: So you're looking for information on this thing, huh? Well, I feel like it must be from far away.  Omega: What makes you say that?  Tech: If it's something even I don't know about, then I'm sure nobody else must have a clue. So it's gotta be from some faraway place. Impeccable reasoning, isn't it?  Omega: Tech... You don't have a clue about this thing, do you?  Tech: *screams in anger* 

Hunter: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?  Tech: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.

Wrecker: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection?  Tech: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

Crosshair: Shut up, you’re messing with my train of thought!  Echo: I thought you didn’t have a brain and now you say you have thoughts?

Crosshair: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

Tech: Do you know that we are made out of atoms?  Tech: And atoms never touch each other.  Tech: So in my defense, officer, I did not punch Admiral Tarkin.

Crosshair, texting Echo: Roses are red, Tony Hawk is a skater…  Echo′s phone, auto-replying: I’m driving right now–I’ll get back to you later.  *Later*  Echo, texting back: Fuck you.

Echo: I’m having salad for dinner!  Tech: Echo: Well, fruit salad.  Echo: Actually, it’s mostly grapes.  Tech: Echo: Okay, it’s all grapes.  Echo: Fermented grapes.  Tech: Echo: Tech: Echo: It’s wine.  Echo: I’m having wine for dinner.

Hunter: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?  Tech: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

Echo, Entering Wrecker's room: Crosshair did it again.  Wrecker: Peace disturbance?  Echo: What no-  Wrecker: Arson..?  Echo: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY-  Wrecker: uh....Attempted murder?  Echo: NO, HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

Tech: Phee and I are no longer dating. Phee: Tech, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Hunter: You know what bothers me? Bats. Why can bats fly?  Tech: Not again!  Hunter: No. Seriously, who gave them the right? They're mammals! Mammals walk on land, no exceptions.  Echo: Just wait until you hear about whales.  Hunter: What now?

Crosshair: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Tech does? What if he jumps off a cliff?  Wrecker: If Tech were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Tech jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.  Crosshair: You jump off a cliff! Wrecker: Gladly, provided Tech did first. 

*Crosshair rushes by with an armful of water bottles*  Omega: What's going on?  Hunter: Crosshair wouldn't drink water.  Omega: ...And?  Hunter: And I asked him how fast he could chug an entire bottle.  Crosshair, loudly: 16 OUNCES IN TEN SECONDS, BITCHES!

Hunter: Y’know, maybe things aren’t so bad. I’m here. I got the nice ocean breeze. Just alone with my thoughts. Wrecker: Hey, Hunter.  Hunter: GODDAMNIT!

Tech: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Hunter: What does “take out” mean?  Omega: Food.  Wrecker: Dating.  Echo: Murder.  Crosshair: It can be all three if you’re brave enough. 

Crosshair: Stop asking me if I’m straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.