angel-sans-halo

Latest Posts by angel-sans-halo

Dan Hillier (British, b. 1973, Oxford, England) - Ground (based around the figure from an 1880s Steel Engraving by J. Rogers), 2020, Screenprint

Jesus is coming, but while we wait for him you know what you can do?

Punch a nazi.

good god forgive me. i want to walk away

Daily mortification ideas, please add up

- When you get up to get a cup of water, always ask if anyone else in the room wants water too

- When you finish eating, look for people in the table who have also finished and discretly go wash their dishes / put their dish away / trow away their wrappers etc

- Routinely ask people who are happy to be useful to help you in small, effortless tasks. Specially small kids or older folk, even if it would be quicker to do it all by yourself

- When there's plenty of things to carry, pick the heaviest you can carry before other people notice

- When dividing tasks, pick the one the others like the least

- Take notes in class in a way people next to you can steal a glance (I started doing this when I sat near some kid with dyslexia, but it can help anyone if your handwriting is better than the teacher's, or if you're more organized)

- When eating something good, give the last piece to someone who also likes it in a way that's hard to refuse, eg "here, saved it for you" (it's important that it be the last piece, because that's the hardest to let go)

- Purposefully eat bits of food you dislike

- Say good things about other people behind their backs

- Don't refuse compliments, we all know that it'll only make people compliment you more. Smile, say thank you, and carry on to another topic

well i meant to reblog the voyage of the dawn treader post to my main but this works too lol. god's claws peel me out of myself every week

Get weirder about God

am i important to god? why? i am not anything grand

the clay of your flesh is still warm from where his fingers met to shape you

ah, the rosary, the stim toy full of jesus

Jesus is coming, but while we wait for him you know what you can do?

Punch a nazi.

I hope and pray that one day we will not feel torn between our queerness and our faith. That the generations after us will scoff in disbelief when we tell them what used to be preached from the pulpit. That young queer kids will grow up knowing they are whole, that they are loved, that they are exactly who they were meant to be.

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

There were many theories in Late Antiquity and the Middle Ages about the connection between the mind and body. Most Christians agreed that the body was a needy creature whose bottomless appetite for food, sex, and comfort held back the mind from what mattered most. That didn't mean that the body must be rejected, only that it needed tough love. For all monks and nuns, since the very start of monasticism in the 4th century, this meant a moderate diet and no sex. Many of them also added regular manual labor to the regimen. They found it easier to concentrate when their bodies were moving, whether they were baking or farming or weaving.

Jamie Kreiner (How to Reduce Digital Distractions: Advice from Medieval Monks)

detail of The Vale of Rest, by John Everett Millais, oil on canvas, 1858.

A Monk, Aleksandr Kosnichyov, 2006

The Irregular Ascetic

In August, I briefly made a new friend on Tumblr.

His account has long since vanished for reasons I do not know. Maybe this place just didn't click for him. I've been here for years and always found it welcoming, but I know that, like everything, this site is not for everyone.

He'd send me a message, ask a question or two, and when I checked every week or so, I'd do my best to reply.

Then, one day, he was gone, but not before leaving me one last question:

"An ascetic heathen life? What does that look like to you? I want to see that visual."

And that's kind of the question, isn't it?

The thing about callings is that they aren't always clear-cut. I may feel drawn towards an ascetic heathen life, but it's not like my Gods sent me an Ikea flat-pack kit.

As seems to be the pattern with the Germanic deities, they tapped me on the shoulder and then said...

"Here ya go, figure it out."

And here we are. Forty-Two, with over ten years as a member of the Ár nDraíocht Féin (ADF), I haven't finished my dedicant path, nor started the clergy track.

I can't remember the last time I did a full ritual.

All in all, I seem like a pretty crappy monk, don't I?

Sister Snow Hare, indeed...

It seems that my vanishing friend pinned me to the wall. I've been chewing on this again, trying to work it out.

If you're reading this, buddy, know that you kicked off a lot of introspection about my path, and you inspired this long rambling Tumblr post.

The best place to start is the beginning. (A little free wisdom)

So, what exactly is monasticism?

Good ol’ Mr. Wikipedia defines it as "a religious way of life in which one renounces worldly pursuits to devote oneself fully to spiritual work."

No matter the faith, this is a feature of monastic life: asceticism, self-denial, and focus.

Have I mentioned I can't remember the last time I did a ritual yet?

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Nothing makes me feel guilty, like comparing myself to the standards and practices of others. Somewhere out there, a Buddhist is living on four grains of rice, meditating eighteen hours a day, stopping only to sleep. The five minutes a day he spends on Tumblr, he's laughing at me.

I just know it. >.>

You could say I've been feeling a little convicted about this.

Yet the calling is still there. My relationship with my Gods isn't just good; it's warm. While not formal or official, I have a fulfilling spiritual life that's not structured like anything in the faith org I faithfully send my twenty dollars a year to and then largely hide from.

So what's going on?

I've begun to realize slowly over the last year that my faith path will probably never be recognizable as anything routine, rote, or by the book, but what it will be is mine.

Where does my asceticism show?

Let me take you through a typical day.

Waking at 2300 (11 pm), I plank for three minutes, do about ten minutes of calisthenics, wash my face, and then meditate for twenty minutes to a half hour, offering that time to the Gods. Then, with that done, I recite my creed and head off to the gym.

I have a creed. I'm that fancy!

While I'm in the truck, I informally pray. Often, I'm talking to my Lady Eostre, but the other Gods definitely get included. Woden and I have always gotten along, and Thunor, I call big brother because he's always watching out for us and protecting us.

Now it's time for my hour minimum at the gym. Half an hour each of cardio and weight training. This is so I can be in good condition and proper shape.

Good health is important to me, but more on that in a moment.

When I get home, I clean for about an hour, something I call "service meditation." Scrubbing floors, cleaning counters, and sanitizing bathrooms is a gift I can give daily to my loved ones with whom I make a home. While I work, I reflect on them and consider all they give me.

After a much-needed shower, I'm in the office and might finally have breakfast. I eat, ascetically, often the same thing every day; I keep my calories low and usually take up a 16-hour fast between my last meal and first meal.

Everything gets weighed down to the gram and tracked on my calorie sheet.

Next comes editing, writing, often some informal online counseling, or time spent on networks like Counter Social, Telegram, and Discord trying to help people, even if it's only getting them to smile.

Hope is big for me because my Lady Eostre is the goddess of Spring and the Dawn. She is hope personified, a goddess of fresh chances and potential. Pointing back to her and her values is my purpose. It's what I was made for.

My day continues like that until I'm in bed at 1600 (4 PM), after an hour cool-down where I go through my creed and have one last conversation with the Gods. That's when I set out my fruit offerings if I happened to have any that day.

It's a hard and fast rule. The gods always get the best part of the banana and the strawberry.

This is the way.

My bed is a mat that rolls out on the floor. I started that in 2020, and I've never been happier or slept better, and when I travel, it comes with me.

And I travel a lot.

My family here calls it "missions." Every now and again, someone in my network will need help. They might be having surgery, a mental health crisis, or are moving cross town or cross country. Whatever the reason, the call goes out, and if I can make it work with money, I'll hop a plane, train, or bus and get out there.

Beyond the joy I get from being in shape and capable, this is why I work out. It's much easier to load and move boxes or help lift people when you're in decent physical condition. 

I actually have training as a CNA, so I know how to do all the transfer stuff, and I have decent experience in post-surgical care.  

I don't want to go into this part too much because it feels like bragging, but I've been all over the States and soon to be Canada just helping people. I ramble in, do what I can, then return home and take back up my discarded routine.

And this is my life, apart from writing my books. As I looked at it and began breaking it down, I realized that I am already living a disciplined ascetic life.  

My gods and my faith are at the forefront of what I do, but what defines my faith isn't the regular application of ritual, but action. Indeed, one of the sayings I live by is actions show what words claim.

So I'm not on a mountaintop, meditating with the sun's rising and setting, or dwelling within a monastery, cloistered from the world, living to sing hymns. There is beauty in that kind of asceticism, but it's not my asceticism.

Yet, we do have things in common.

My life is one of service, with a focus on the divine and the advancement of their aims for the world. It is my hope (there's that word again) that I can show the wisdom and cunning of Woden, the strength of Thunor, the honor of Tyr, and most of all, embody the hope of the Dawn in all I do.

Of course, I'm not perfect, and Saturdays are often waffle day, but life is about growth, not static metrics.

It's dawning on me that I may never be fully recognized in my path. I don't seem to jive well with organizations and dogmatic structures. I may never have Reverend by my name or "Sister" formally. When it's time to go, I may not even leave much behind save my books and these Tumblr posts.

When I do cross that far horizon, and I am again before my Lady, I hope she will look back on all I did during this strange human odyssey and see that while I may have been taken from her for a time, I never stopped being her devoted one, her servant, and that is all the formal recognition I will ever need.

For me, an ascetic heathen life is one of actions, denial, and service, which I seek to live every day.

happy birthday mr carpenter ❤️‍🔥🌈

the book of job can be a very queer book actually. it's all about how you can't actually just hold to theological propositions totally divorced from reality and personal experience bc you think the world doesn't make sense otherwise. it's about clinging to your own righteousness even as your 'friends' try to drag your name into the dirt bc it threatens their elaborate theological diorama of the world where everything is nice and neat. it's about how pain and suffering is not a punishment for something wrong with you. and it's about struggling with God, and understanding that in the end we know nothing and can say nothing, and yet if we resolve to speak our truth perhaps in the end we can be judged to have spoken rightly of God like his servant Job.

Let us pray that God gives us a Pope who doubts.

Shout out to men and masc’s who veil. Truly our strongest soldiers.

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” - Luke 23:34

sooo… jesus art got me to 10k on twitter😳, here is some more art, i can’t draw wolves, or clothes, or anything really

Are you familiar with the term “amipotence?” I was reminded of it when you answered anon about omnipotence. Curious of your thoughts on it

I have never heard of it but I looked it up AND IT LOOKS FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!

I found an article written by the guy who coined it and uhhh I’ll just post like the whole thing lollll

Amipotence combines two Latin words ami and potens. The first means “love,” and we find it in words like “amicable,” “amity,” and “amigo.” The second is the Latin word for power or influence, and we find it in “potential” and “potency.” Amipotence is pronounced, “am” (as in “Amsterdam”), with a short “i” (as in “it”), and “po-tence” (similar to “moments”).

I coined this word to stress the priority of love over power in God. Divine love (ami) comes logically and conceptually prior to divine power (potens). We best understand God in general and divine power in particular if we give love pride of place. Love comes first.

Amipotence interprets the Johannine phrase “God is love” (1 Jn. 4:8,16) to mean love comes first in God. God is necessarily loving, because it’s God’s eternal and unchanging nature to love. God could no more stop loving than stop existing; but both are metaphysical impossibilities. Amipotence agrees with John Wesley when he says, “God is often styled holy, righteous, wise… [but] he is said to be love: intimating that this is . . . his reigning attribute, the attribute that sheds an amiable glory on all his other perfections.”

Crucial to making sense of amipotence is making sense of love. Most theologians say God loves, and some say divine love is powerful. But few define love carefully or allow love to characterize divine power in a satisfactory way. As a result, the majority portray God’s love in ways that differ radically from what we consider love.

[…]

We best define the love in amipotence as acting intentionally, in relational response to God and others, to promote overall well-being. This definition applies to both divine and creaturely love. The love God and creatures express, in other words, involves intentional action, relations with others, and the aim to promote flourishing. And because love is inherently uncontrolling, neither divine nor creaturely love controls.

Love can’t be omnipotent.

While the definition of love applies to God and creatures, divine love is greater in degree than creaturely love. Divine love is universal and therefore differs in scope, because only God is omnipresent. God’s love differs in duration and frequency, because God loves everlastingly. Divine love differs in adequacy, because God is omniscient and therefore better knows what promotes well-being. Divine love is necessary, because it’s God’s nature to love; creatures may or may not love. Divine love is perfectly sensitive and vulnerable, because God is affected by all creation. Creatures often fail to empathize with a few, let alone be sensitive to all.

The “potence” of amipotence pertains to God’s influence. Divine power is immensely more influential than creaturely power. God is more powerful, in part, because God affects all creation. And divine love is more powerful because everlastingly relentless. The power of amipotence is active and receptive, empowering and empathetic, wooing but persistent, and always uncontrolling. God’s love is literally the most powerful force in the universe.

An amipotent God is not omnipotent in the sense of having all power. It is impossible for a loving God to have all power, because love requires responsive others with power. An amipotent God is not omnipotent in the sense of being able to do absolutely anything. After all, love cannot sin, cannot force its own way, cannot be isolated, cannot make 2 + 2 = 7, and more. And an amipotent God does not control creatures or circumstances, because love is inherently uncontrolling. 

God exerts the greatest conceivable power but, thank goodness, is not omnipotent. Amipotence is maximal divine power in the service of love.

I still would take it a step forward: love IS power, and not separate from it. This is where my thought gets kind of Thomist (he believed love and justice and wisdom were all one but we experienced them differently). All virtues are extensions of love. All divine attributes or energies are emanations of Love. I haven’t fully fleshed out or developed this idea but. I’m glad to know there are others who have had similar thoughts.

I think this is also a way to have still have a philosophical understanding of God (that is, God as Ultimate Reality), while still keeping an open theist and immanent perspective. But I need to meditate on this first

Not to be a lost, forsaken fallen angel on main but what if I swore my eternal devotion to you in exchange for the privilege of sitting at your feet and resting my cheek on your leg, staring up at a being so majestic, so otherwordly and glorious and powerful, with eyes that radiate divinity of such magnitude it ignites my skin afire and make my heart bleed with religious ecstasy.

Haha, I'm kidding, of course! Of course I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm ki

all those in favour of us performing jesus christ superstar at the monastery, say aye.

Father Joseph, pray for us

ah, the rosary, the stim toy full of jesus

Henry Ossawa Tanner's depiction of the Annunciation will always be my absolute favourite but I really do think there is something so ethereal and endearing about his study before the official artwork was completed.

The way Mary sits with almost no visible features but you can still tell that her hands are clasped in prayer- the angel Gabriel manifesting as a single stroke of light as the paint and room seems to contort around him. Easily one of the all timers.

“For true conversion doth not consist in putting away great and outward sins only, but in descending deeply into your own self, searching into the inmost recesses of the heart, the secrets and closets, all the windings and turnings thereof; changing and renewing them throughout, with the grace that is given you: and so, by faith, you are converted from self-love to Divine love; from the world and all worldly concupiscences, to a spiritual and heavenly life; and from a participation of the pomps and pleasures thereof, to participating the merits and virtues of Christ, by believing his word, and walking in his steps.”

— Johann Arndt, Johann Arndt: True Christianity