I Came Across This Article, And It Got Me Thinking About Neurodivergence And Platonic Relationships.

I came across this article, and it got me thinking about neurodivergence and platonic relationships.

Aromanticism, Aplatonicism, Neurodivergence and Me
Bring on the Pigeons
Originally, I was going to call this post “Accepting that I was aro was a lot harder than accepting that I was ace, but not for the reasons

Like OP I'd heard of the term aplatonic, but I'd resisted applying the label to myself. It made me kind of uncomfortable, like a flickering light that I'd refused to look at or focus on. I'd think 'that can't be me, I want friends' then move on before I could think about it too much. Because deep down this term struck a chord. One that felt too much like saying 'I'm a bad person who doesn't like their friends'.

But I am bad at maintaining friendships. Not super great at making them either if I'm honest. Most of this can possible be explained by autism, and my struggle with friendships was the primary reason why I'd started suspecting that I might be autistic. (But am I really autistic though?)

I'd heard other autistics explaining how they kind of lack object permanence when it comes to people. Not that they literally don't think that someone doesn't exist when they don't see them, but that they don't think of them. This mirrors my own experience with friends. I don't think of them that often. And if I do and realise that I haven't spoken or seen them in a while, then actually contacting them for catch up takes a lot of energy and mental prep before hand. Phoning people makes me anxious, even for people I talk to all the time and know that I can talk to easily. It's a huge mental effort to go 'I'm going to call Sally today'. Even then I'll probably tidy my bedroom first, do the laundry, vacuum etc., then decide it's too late and put off calling her for another week.

Recently I came across the term 'relationship degradation mechanics' by twitter user Khoshtistic. They described it in terms of their ADHD, but it also describes my own experience perfectly. The term comes about from video games which have a friendship meter for NPCs which either fills up over time, or empties, depending on how often you interact with an NPC. I frequently forget about my friends (that faulty object permanence), I don't message them, call, or organise meet ups. There have been times when I've decided to message someone and then realised that the last time I interacted with them was a year ago. In those instances I often feel so guilty about it that I decide against messaging them completely. Why draw attention to it? When I do happen to catch up with a friend, months or years after I last saw them, I'm often surprised that our friendship bar has degraded. I expect things to be the same as when we last met up, but they aren't.

My partner is always messaging his friends. He is the polar opposite of me in many ways, but especially in this. If he hasn't seen his friends for a while he gets sad and upset about it. When I ask him how long it's been, he'll tell me that it's been ages. But how long is that? A couple weeks, he says. For him those couple of weeks span a millennia, for me that feels like yesterday.

This type of conversation is not uncommon for us:

Him: We haven't seen Sally and John in ages

Me: But we just saw them. Remember? we played board games

Him: That was 2 weeks ago!

Me: Exactly. Only 2 weeks ago.

We both have a very different understanding of time.

His relationship with friendships is informed by his ADHD in a very different way to mine. He worries that if he doesn't stay in contact with people constantly, then they'll think he hates them and subsequently decide that they hate him too. Rejection Sensitivity Disorder (RSD) is a bitch. I'm glad I don't have that, but sometimes I wish I cared a little more than I do.

He cares so much for his friends and what they think of him. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really friends with anyone, and that I'm only preforming friendship. Sometimes I feel like an unfeeling robot, and the ace/aro community often (unintentionally) amplifies that feeling. The uncaring aro or ace person is a common trope that the aspec community rails against, usually by saying that one can still have strong and intimate platonic relationships. However this is something that I don't have either. I'm ace, aro, and at the very least bad at friends. So what does that make me?

More Posts from Auroraescritora and Others

2 years ago

Behold, A Writer

Behold, A Writer

I’ll get there.


Tags
1 year ago

NÃO HÁ LUGAR COMO O LAR - PERCY/NICO AU COLEGIAL - CAPÍTULO XIX

O que é isso? O terceiro capítulo da semana? É um milagre! Nessa semana vocês realmente podem me chamar de escritora, porque eu escrevi muitoooooo.

Agora, falando serio. A vontade de escrever já está virando obsessão, então vamos ver até onde ela dura. E claro, peço desculpas pela baixa na qualidade do texto. É isso o que acontecesse quando se escreve muito em pouco tempo, por isso revisão e edição é tão importante. E tipo, sinto muito pelo drama! Eu já disse que escrita é minha terapia? Não é literal, são coisas que eu vejo, vivo e sinto tudo misturado. Acho que é isso o que eles chamam de "estilo de escrita".

O capítulo é pequeno, mas de qualquer forma, espero que você gostem.^^

Capítulos anteriores: CAPÍTULO I / CAPÍTULO II / CAPÍTULO III / CAPÍTULO IV / CAPÍTULO V / CAPÍTULO VI / CAPÍTULO VII / CAPÍTULO VIII / CAPÍTULO IX / CAPÍTULO X / CAPÍTULO XI / CAPÍTULO XII / CAPÍTULO XIII / CAPÍTULO XIV / CAPÍTULO XV / CAPÍTULO XVI / CAPÍTULO XVII / CAPÍTULO XVIII

— Obrigado. — Ele acabou dizendo quando a família o abraçou em conjunto, Sally quase chorando enquanto Grover e Tyson tinham uma expressão séria e neutra no rosto, o fazendo se lembrar quando Percy estava tentando se controlar para não destruir o que visse pelo caminho.

Ele também gostava disso, sabendo que poderia contar com a família inteira. E já que ele estava sendo sincero, por que não continuar?

— Eu não via Hades há anos, ele não é importante. Será que é necessário tanto trabalho por causa dele? Eu estava pensando em algo mais eficaz.

—  O que você precisar, querido. — Dessa vez, foi Sally quem disse, se já se recompondo; a mãe dando espaço para a mulher de negócios.

— Eu estava pensando em emancipação. — Quando ninguém disse nada, Nico preferiu fechar os olhos e continuar falando. — Hades tem o controle das posses da minha mãe e como filho único, eu só teria acesso a isso com vinte e um anos. Se eu apressar esse processo, posso tentar recuperar o que é meu antes que Hades destrua tudo.

— Não entendo, Hades não pode mexer nesse dinheiro sem a permissão da justiça. — Tyson disse, confuso.

— Esse é o problema. Minha mãe tinha ações e outros ativos que Hades tem acesso. Grande parte do que ele tem vem da minha mãe.

— Você está nos dizendo que quem era rica era sua mãe e não Hades? — Agora era Percy quem parecia inconformado.

— Hades costumava ser um gerente de banco. Ela se apaixonou e eu nasci. Na verdade, Bianca é minha meia irmã. Meu avô é um grande fazendeiro, sabe? Mamãe costumava ajudá-lo antes de Hades aparecer.

— Nossa. — Grover murmurou. — Seu pai é filho da puta.

— Ele é. Eu não me sentia seguro em contar isso para ninguém, mas agora que ele não pode me machucar é o momento de recuperar tudo o que ele tirou de mim.

— Nós vamos ajudar. Tyson vai começar os preparativos.

— Será que a gente pode pegar ele de surpresa? Tentar recuperar a herança da minha mãe e fazer a emancipação juntos? Eu não quero dar tempo para ele revidar.

— É claro. É uma ótima ideia. — Tyson disse com um estranho brilho no olhar. — Ele nem vai perceber quando a gente pegar ele. Eu prometo.

— Tudo bem. Eu confio em você. Se a emancipação não der certo, vocês podem ser meus guardiões? Nunca mais quero voltar para aquela casa.

— Você tem nossa palavra. — Sally tocou em seu ombro, sorrindo para ele com lágrimas nos olhos. — Vamos destruir esse homem, nem que seja à força.  

— Vocês não precisam prometer. Eu só… não quero ficar sob o controle dele. Não sei o que pode acontecer.

— Bianca está bem morando com ele?

— Ele nunca tratou Bianca como me trata.

— Oh, querido. — Sally disse e o abraçou forte, ainda com Percy o segurando pela cintura. 

Ele se negava a chorar, se negava a dar a Hades esse gostinho, se negava a continuar sob o controle daquele homem. Enquanto ele estava em Verona com seus avós, primos e tios, Hades não teve a coragem de se aproximar. Mas agora que nenhum outro adulto era responsável por ele, Hades pensava que poderia mandar nele. Bem, Nico iria provar para aquele homem e devolver um gostinho do que Hades havia feito com ele.

— Eu estou bem. Tudo isso ficou no passado. Eu só quero o que é meu.

— Nós sabemos. — Percy finalmente disse, saindo de seu estupor. — Eu vou cuidar de você.

Nico sabia disso, Percy estava dizendo essas palavras com tanta frequência que ele estava começando a acreditar. Talvez eles realmente tivessem uma chance de se casar no futuro e construir uma família somente deles, longe de toda essa confusão e dor. Talvez se ele se comportasse e fizesse tudo do jeito certo, ele se libertaria desse pesadelo, dessas pessoas que pareciam decididas a torturá-lo.

***

Depois disso as coisas pareceram se acalmar, porém, de uma forma delicada.

Ele disse que deveria ter ficado calado desde o início, não disse? Nico não entendia exatamente o que estava acontecendo, mas suspeitava de algo. Percy estava se distanciando dele, como se estivesse afrouxando a guia de sua coleira para ver até onde ele iria sem supervisão. Ou talvez, fosse apenas o que ele sentia. Talvez Percy estivesse dando um espaço para ele, um tempo para ele entender o que acontecia e dar o próximo passo. Onde Percy estava de seu lado em todos os momentos do dia, agora outra pessoa o substituiria sem ele nem perceber. Era estranho, nas poucas vezes que ele se pegava sozinho e conseguia pensar, o efeito do que Percy queria se tornava o contrário. Esse tempo sozinho o fazia pensar na vida e nas possibilidades que o futuro guardava para ele. Isso o assustava, a incerteza, vendo que teria que tomar as rédeas da própria vida se quisesse viver confortavelmente, quando, na realidade, tudo o que ele desejava era que alguém viesse e lhe dissesse qual era o caminho certo a tomar.

Aquela tarde não seria diferente, o fazendo se perder na sucessão dos dias, dias agradáveis e com pessoas que se importavam, mas sem o prazer que ele tinha se acostumado a receber. Será que alguns dias era o suficiente para Percy se convencer? Ele estava se comportando como era esperado dele? Nico estava tão cansado que apenas se levantou da cama e saiu andando pela casa. Ele encontrou Sally na cozinha, negando o convite para cozinhar com ela. Encontrou Tyson na sala de estudos e ele ofereceu para atualizá-lo sobre o caso de Hades, e mais uma vez negou, passando por Grover que estava na sala de estar e indo direto para a área externa da casa, o único lugar que Percy poderia estar. E lá Nico o encontrou, nadando em velocidade rápida na piscina, para cima e para baixo, e quando Nico finalmente se aproximou o suficiente para ver melhor a figura de Percy, ele permaneceu em silêncio, se perguntando se era uma boa ideia quebrar sua rotina auto-imposta. E se esse fosse o futuro deles e Nico apenas estivesse atrasando e lutando contra o que não tinha jeito? Se vendo em um beco sem saída, Nico se sentou em uma das espreguiçadeiras e continuou observando Percy nadar furiosamente, parecendo que tentava descontar toda sua frustração na água.

Agora, não faltava muito. Se Nico ainda estivesse seguindo o script deles, em poucos minutos Percy sairia da piscina e iria em busca dele. Percy o abraçaria e sorriria para ele, sendo todo carinhoso e eles passariam o resto da tarde e parte da noite fazendo qualquer coisa que não fosse o que eles queriam estar fazendo. Ele estava tão cansado de tudo isso que nem se surpreendeu quando Percy saiu da piscina, como se alguém o estivesse perseguindo, quase passando direto por ele. Nico sentia vontade de rir, isso era tão ridículo; Percy era ridículo e ele também era ridículo. O que eles estavam esperando? O trauma e tristeza desaparecem para que eles pudessem continuar com a vida deles? Que talvez com tempo e paciente Nico seria uma pessoa normal e equilibrada mentalmente? O mais engraçado foi ver Percy voltando de ré e parando ao lado de sua cadeira, sorrindo encabulado para ele. E o que Nico fez? Ele sorriu de volta, era a única coisa racional a se fazer em uma situação que não fazia nenhum sentido.

— Ei, lindo. O que você faz aqui sozinho? — Percy perguntou e se agachou, ficando em sua altura e o encarando bem de perto.

— Senti sua falta. 

— É?

— Eu queria saber onde você estava.

— Eu estou aqui, como sempre.

Nico queria dizer que era uma mentira. Percy podia estar ali, mas não estava do seu lado.

— O que está acontecendo com a gente? — Ele perguntou, se sentindo mais cansado a cada momento que se passava.

— Não está acontecendo nada. — Percy disse e sorriu para ele, o tocando suavemente no rosto. E esse era o problema, nada acontecia e ele precisava que algo acontecesse imediatamente, ou ele iria enlouquecer por completo.

Nico quase se deixou levar pela carícia platônica, quase deixou que o sorriso calmo de Percy o enganasse.

— Eu… eu fiz algo errado?

— Isso nunca seria possível.

— Você não gosta mais de mim?

— Nico. — Percy disse na voz mais calma que ele já tinha ouvido. — Acho que a gente devia desacelerar.

— Mais do que isso?

— Eu… — Então a máscara de tranquilidade no rosto de Percy se quebrou. — Eu abusei de você. Eu nunca perguntei porque você não falava com seu pai. Nunca questionei porque você chorava e tremia quando pensava que ninguém estava vendo. Eu preciso de espaço. Pensei que seria bom para você também.

— Eu não preciso de espaço. Eu preciso de você.

Nico não hesitou, ele se jogou no colo de Percy e o abraçou bem apertado, sentindo um nó na garganta se formar.

— Nico. Eu… eu me sinto culpado. Eu sou apenas mais um que quer abusar de você. — O importante era que Percy o abraçou de volta, bem apertado, o segurando pela nuca e sussurrando em seu ouvido. — Eu quero te ver aos meus pés e quero te ver obedecendo tudo o que eu mandar. Quero que você olhe só para mim e pense só em mim. Você acha que isso é diferente do que Hades estava fazendo com você?

— Eu não me importo. — Pronto, ele tinha dito. — Eu quero fazer tudo isso por você.

— Nico, por favor.

— Eu estou cansado. Por que eu não posso ter o que eu quero? Por que é tão errado estar sob o controle de outra pessoa?

Ele ouviu Percy gemer e antes que pudesse reagir, Percy o puxou pelos cabelos e o fez encará-lo, seus olhos verdes em chamas, como se Percy estivesse prestes a devorá-lo ali mesmo.

— Você vai me matar. Você sabe disso? Eu estou tentando cuidar de você. Estou fazendo o que é melhor para você.

— Eu quero não o melhor, eu só quero não me sentir tão miserável o tempo todo. Você pode fazer a dor passar?

Percy olhou por um longo momento para ele, parecendo que iria desmoronar a qualquer instante, mas finalmente sua vontade foi atendida; Percy encostou os lábios dele contra os seus e ficou assim por alguns momentos, o permitindo sentir o calor e o toque que ele tanto tinha sentido falta. E de repente, era o suficiente para Nico. Não era o sexo que ele sentia falta, era o calor do corpo de Percy sobre o dele, o afeto, toque atencioso, o liberar da tensão, a conexão que ele não havia encontrado em nenhum outro lugar.

Infelizmente, o momento foi quebrado algum tempo depois. As mãos de Percy continuaram sobre sua pele e ele ainda estava sentado no colo de Percy, eles ainda se encaravam como se o outro fosse sumir se eles desviassem a atenção.

— Eu nunca quis que você se sentisse assim. — Percy enfim disse, engolindo em seco. — Eu me sinto um monstro. Eu vou-- eu vou superar isso, eu só preciso de um tempo.

— A gente precisa ficar longe? Eu não quero aprender sobre advocacia com Tyson ou sobre esportes com Grover, eu nem mesmo quero aprender novas receitas com Sally. Prometo que não vou te incomodar.

— Como você pode fazer isso comigo? — Foi tudo o que Percy disse antes de enfiar o rosto em seu pescoço e Nico sentir lágrimas atingirem sua pele, os braços de Percy se apertando ao redor de sua cintura.

— Oh.

Talvez não tenha sido uma boa ideia encurralar Percy no final das contas. Nico se convenceu disso quando ouviu o primeiro soluço. Por que tudo o que ele fazia dava errado? Com o peito apertado, Nico puxou Percy para cima e deitou com ele na espreguiçadeira. Ele obedeceria aos desejos de Percy e daria o espaço que ele precisava.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Então, está muito ruim? Qualquer feedback é bem-vindo, nem que seja para me cobrar alguma coisa. Vou adorar ver vocês por aqui. E só para avisar, a versão em inglês vai vir assim que minha inspiração esvaziar um pouco e infelizmente a qualidade vai continuar duvidosa até que isso aconteça; quanto mais tempo eu passo revisando ou traduzindo, menos palavras eu escrevo e mais a evolução da história se atrasa. Espero que vocês entendam. E obrigada desde já!


Tags
2 months ago

SITTER'S LOVE - Nico!Babysitter, Percy!Teacher-father - Chapter XXVII and Chapter XXVIII

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / / CHAPTER III, CHAPTER IV e CHAPTER V / Chapter VI e Chapter VII / Chapter VIII e Chapter IX / Chapter X, Chapter XI, Chapter XII e Chapter XIII / Chapter XIV / Chapter XV / Chapter XVI e Chapter XVII / Chapter XVIII and Chapter XIX / Chapter XX and Chapter XXI / Chapter XXII and Chapter XXIII / Chapter XXIV, Chapter XXV and Chapter XXVI

Chapter XXVII

Nico rang the doorbell and swore to himself that today was the day. Percy opened the door and smiled at him, and for a moment it was like everything had returned to normal, he could even visualize Percy bending down and hugging him tightly. But then the spell was broken and Percy looked away, closing the door behind them. No “good morning” or “how are the therapy sessions going?” Percy just turned his back on Nico and walked towards the kitchen, forcing him to follow him through the entrance hall, the living room and finally the kitchen and dining room.

It seemed that in the end nothing but Percy's behavior had changed. As most of the time, the children were already at the table, Percy pulled out a chair inviting him to sit, and without looking at him, he sat next to Percy, all while remaining silent. This would be the perfect moment, wouldn't it? Everyone ate calmly, seeming to be more asleep than awake.

Turning to the side, Nico looked at Percy who was already looking back at him.

“Yes?” Percy murmured, as if Nico had asked a question. Was he that obvious? Or was Percy just paying attention? And besides, should he be happy that Percy still cared? Or should he be irritated that he felt watched? Nico shook his head and denied it. The truth was, he didn’t know what to say. Would it be fair for him to accuse Percy of something when Percy was doing exactly what he had asked?

"It's nothing," He said back. "Do you still need me to sleep here on Friday?”

Percy made a confused face and he found himself smiling.

"Your parents' event?”

"Damn! I forgot their anniversary present. They've been married for thirty years.”

"That’s cool. I’m glad you have two days until then." Nico suggested discreetly.

Percy opened his eyes wide and jumped out of his chair, as if he had been shocked. However, it was Nico who was shocked. Percy grabbed him by the back of the neck, kissed his cheek and murmured, “Thank you, baby.”

Distracted, Percy disappeared from the dining room faster than Nico could follow, leaving only the sound of the front door slamming shut along with his heart beating rapidly. For some reason, Nico felt bad, like he had done something wrong. And according to the doctor, if something seemed wrong and he wasn't sure, it was better not to do it. Or at least to analyze whether he could face the consequences. 

So, the solution was to pretend that nothing had happened, avoid the curious gaze of the children and spend the rest of the day thinking about what had happened. Relief soon came when it was time to take them to school. He studied a little during the rest of the morning and helped the cook make lunch. Nico knew it wasn't part of his job as a caregiver, but it calmed him, made him relax while the sound of pots and pans and the voice of Beca, the head chef, kept him company.

It was time to pick up the kids once again and dinner began. It was another day that Percy would arrive late, probably after dinner, and that was okay. Percy always showed up before the kids went to bed, and there’s nothing wrong with that. The problem was all his when, watching a series with them, the three of them fell asleep under the light of the television, the darkness of the early evening and the sound of the actors' voices slowly lulling them. When Nico realized the time, it was another one of those days when he had slept past work, the clock hands showing fifty past nine. He rubbed his eyes to see better and saw that the kids were still sleeping, resting on his shoulders, their arms crossed over his belly, as though he were their teddy bear.

"Comfortable?" Percy asked him. He sat on the couch and watched him from there, his arms crossed and legs apart, sitting in the dark, analyzing him, while his green eyes passed over the scene of him and the children, sleeping together and peacefully.

"Sorry, I ended up falling asleep." Nico cringed and looked at the children in his arms, feeling embarrassed, like a little boy who had done something naughty.

"Why are you still here?" Percy said.

"I know I shouldn't have fallen asleep, but--”

"No, what are you still doing working here. Didn't I give you enough money? Do you need more?”

That's when Nico realized, Percy wasn't accusing him. He was being sincere and asking if Nico needed help. Nico denied it, he wouldn't need money for a long time.

"So, what's the problem? I know that the universities are still accepting applications.”

“I…”

"Isn't that why you're here? To make money?" Percy insisted. The man didn't move or try to comfort Nico like he would have before, Percy just stared at him seriously and intensely, waiting for an answer.

"I don’t need money." With a clear and concise voice, Nico decided to be honest, but he couldn’t look at him while he said it.

"So, what do you need?”

Nico found himself smiling, this was so cliché! Did Percy expect him to say “what I need is you”? He couldn’t do that.

"I don’t need anything. I want…" Nico raised his head and forced himself to say: "I wanted to spend some more time with the children before I leave.”

Percy stood up and gave him one of those crooked smiles. However, this was one of the worst he had ever seen. It was cynical and mean, full of bad intentions.

"I understand. The children will be very sad to see you go.”

"Are you… firing me?" Nico asked in disbelief.

“Nico,” Percy said. He walked around the coffee table, stopped right next to Nico, and bent down until he was at the right height, touching him gently. First in his hair, then sliding his hands down to rest on his neck. “You can’t keep wasting your time here. You deserve better than to be catering to the whims of a rich man.”

Was Percy talking about himself? And admitting that he was playing with him?

"I know I can be stubborn and bossy. I like things my way and I can't stand being rejected. But this isn't about me, it's about your future. When are you going to start thinking more about yourself and less about others? Can you promise me that?”

"Promise what?" Nico said, too distracted by Percy's closeness. It was the result of those hands stroking the back of his neck.

"That you will do what is best for you. That you will follow your heart.”

"Percy." Nico didn't know what to say. Why was this happening?

"I'll be honest, I have contacts at the college. I know classes start next month. Why don't you stop by? I'm sure they'll help you.”

"You are… I can't accept this.”

"Why not? You already have a guaranteed spot. I'll just speed up the process.”

"Do you want to get rid of me that much? I didn't mean to hurt you.”

"Don't be silly, you didn't hurt me, you just hurt my pride. I'll survive.”

Nico found himself smiling again, Percy's sincerity always amused him.

"Are you… sure? I didn’t expect things to get this complicated.”

"Don't worry, I get it. You don't want to be with me. I'm big enough to take a no.”

"No, I didn't mean to--”

"So, it's decided. This will be your last week, they expect you on Monday morning.”

Percy stood up, taking his heat away from him and Nico fell back, sinking into the beanbag.

"So mean." Alice muttered against Nico’s shoulder.

"Bad daddy." Logan agreed from the other side.

Nico could only sigh and help them up, while he put away their notebooks, books and pens. Nico put them to bed and escaped downstairs before Percy had the idea of taking him home.

Chapter XXVIII

"So, it's decided. This will be your last week, they expect you on Monday morning.”

Percy stood up, taking his heat away from him and Nico fell back, sinking into the beanbag.

"So mean." Alice muttered against Nico’s shoulder.

"Bad daddy." Logan agreed from the other side.

He sighed and helped them up. The three of them, in a joint effort, put away their notebooks, gathered their books, and put their pens inside their pencil cases. Then, taking the children's hands, Nico led them to their beds, covered them with the sheets, and escaped the house before Percy had the idea of driving him home. Unfortunately, Nico had the misfortune of findingJason in the living room waiting for him when he arrived at the apartment, exactly as a good, responsible adult would wait for his child who had broken curfew.

"How was your day? Did anything different happen?" He heardJason say as he walked past the living room, heading straight to the kitchen, trying to avoid the questionnaire. AndJason? He went straight to the microwave, pressed a few buttons and then brought out a bowl of pasta with sugo sauce, one of his favorite dishes.

"Hm." Nico murmured, without confirming anything. He accepted the food, almost putting his head inside the plate.

"Nico, what's going on? Why did Percy call me asking me to help you move out?”

“I knew it!” he thought triumphantly, even though Nico didn’t feel victorious at all.

"He fired me.”

“Why?”

"Do you remember about my scholarship?”

"I remember."Jason confirmed.

"It's still available.”

"Didn't you need money for the expenses?”

"Yes." Nico lowered his head, feeling embarrassed to say the rest.

“So?”

"I have the money. It will probably last the entire course. I think there is still some left for a P.H.D.”

He watchedJason's face change from concern to a familiar mocking smile.

"Oh, you mean he gave you all that money?”

"Not exactly. I worked a lot of overtime. Sometimes I slept overnight. I stayed up late…”

"I know, you are a model worker. We should all strive to be like you!”

"Blake! I didn't ask him to give me any money!”

"But you feel bad anyway.”

Nico nodded, defeated. He felt like he was selling himself, this exchange that was supposed to be between employer and employee far more intimate and intense than was advisable.

"What do I do? Give him his money back?”

"I can't tell you what to do.”

“But?”

"You are so close to achieving your dream. Why don't you think of it as a loan from a friend who cares? There's nothing stopping you from paying it back when you can.”

"Maybe. So… why do I still feel so bad? It's like he's paying for something I can't offer.”

“Ah,”Jason murmured, seeming to understand. “The solution might be to walk away from him.”

Nico nodded once more and lowered his head to the table. He had thought about this before, it was what he had been trying to do for the past few days. For some reason, this distance between him and Percy also felt wrong, like something was missing. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why did he have to leave behind all the people he loved the most?

“What’s wrong, Nico?” This timeJason’s voice was soft, his hand resting on his arm.

"Why does this have to happen? Why do I have to stay away from everyone?”

"Everyone?”

"Percy, my father, my family. Why?”

"Do you miss them? Your family?”

Nico didn't answer, but it was obvious. He just buried his head deeper into his arms and pushed the food away, trying to take a deep breath.

"It's okay. You don't have to avoid them if you don't want to, just a little distance is enough.”

"Just a little?" Nico didn't know if he understood.

"You know, I still visit Zeus. I have dinner with him every week.”

"He… he’s a horrible person.”

"He is, but he's my father and I miss him.”

"Does Thalia know about this?”

"She knows. She respects my decision.”

"I don't feel comfortable with that.”

"Are you uncomfortable or do you want to get revenge on them for everything they did to you?”

He lifted his head and stared atJason.

"You can forgive them or not, that's your choice. Wanting them to suffer as much as you suffered is not healthy.”

"I don't want that. I never wanted it.”

“Not consciously,”Jason told him in a patient tone. “Our subconscious mind likes to play tricks on us. The important thing here is that you feel happy and satisfied with your life. Do you miss them? Go visit them. Do you feel hurt? Walk away. Sometimes we have to choose between what’s right and what’s good for us, even if it hurts other people.”

When he just looked at his friend,Jason smiled at him and gently touched his shoulder.

"I want you to think about this. Right now, what makes you feel good? Is it giving Percy his money back or following your dream?”

There was something there that Nico had never thought about.

***

A few days later, Nico was still thinking about whatJason had suggested. What made him happy? Wasn't it strange that he had never thought about it? He kept wondering what Hades would do if he knew how he lived, if Will would be mad if he did what he wanted, he even remembered wondering if Bianca and Hazel would approve of his decision. Now, asking himself that question, wondering what made him happy, hadn't crossed his mind untilJason pointed it out to his face. He just wanted some peace, whatever came of it was a bonus.

The door opened and Percy smiled at him, hugging him tightly, just like Percy used to do before all this drama happened, and he, putting his worries aside, decided that enjoying that moment, melting against his broad chest, was the best thing he could do in that situation. Did Percy and his big hugs make him happy? Much more than Nico could explain. But then, why did he feel so sad?

"Am I a happy person?" He asked Percy when the man released him and closed the door.

Percy slowly turned towards him and looked at him strangely, still smiling, and ruffled his black hair, shaking his head.

"You don't know if you're happy? I would say yes. But only you can answer that." Percy looked at him once more and finally looked worried. "Are you okay?”

Nico didn't know how to respond. So he looked down, feeling strangely embarrassed.

"It's nothing.Jason told me something last night…”

"Is that so?”

"Whether I do what makes me happy or whether I do what other people expect of me." He looked at him and asked again: "Do you think I do what other people want me to do?”

"Nico, I don't want you to feel bad. It's not exactly a bad thing.”

"Oh." Nico murmured, half numb.

"You rarely say no to anyone and you always help everyone. You are someone who likes to feel useful. There is nothing wrong with that. But, yes, I think it is a good question. What makes you happy? For a long time I did what would make my parents happy. It did not turn out well for me. Even though I am in a privileged position right now.”

“I understand.”

"Doing what other people want for a while doesn't mean you have to do it forever.”

Well, it made sense. That's what was happening, wasn't it? He'd done what his family wanted for a long time, and now he was free to go his own way.

"You're right." Nico said to Percy. Nico hugged him tightly around the neck and kissed the face he loved to look at so much. "You always say the right thing.”

"It's a talent " Percy murmured back, hugging him equally tightly around the waist, almost lifting him off the ground. "Unfortunately, we have a change of plans.”

"Hmm?" Nico questioned, confused by the abrupt change.

"My parents want to see the children.”

"I know." He could already imagine the situation. "I don't have any clothes.”

"Of course! How could I forget?”

Percy pulled him by the hand and right there in the middle of the living room were three-foot-long racks filled with suits, blazers, and full-length coats. All of them appeared to be his size. He had forgotten how manipulative Percy could be; it was so obvious that this had been planned that it made his blood boil.

"Percy Jackson!”

Nico marched the rest of the distance to the clothes and checked them, they still had the store tag on them. A very exclusive and expensive one at that.

"Did you like it? If you want, you can take home what we don't use today.”

You know what was the most ridiculous thing? Percy's posture. He had a straight spine, a puffed-out chest, and a bright smile on his lips. And to top it all off, Nico could hear the children's voices laughing from the kitchen.

"When did you have time to buy all this?”

"It was nothing, just a phone call.”

"You're kidding me, aren't you?”

Percy scratched his head and looked at Nico, pretending to be embarrassed.

"Would you believe me if I told you that the clothes were lost in our wardrobe?”

"No." Nico heard another pair of laughs and couldn't hold it in. "And you guys, what are you doing, hiding there?”

The children came running and hugged him around the waist, happy and content.

"Yesterday when you left early, we stopped by the mall and bought half a store!" Logan said excitedly. "It's our gift to you.”

"Don't be mad at Daddy." Alice finished for Logan.

This was a plot against him.

"That's not fair. How could I be mad at you?”

"So, did you like it?" Percy asked again, calm and smiling. But the way he looked at him was as if… as if Percy had found something very interesting; which made him uncomfortable and, at the same time, happy.

"If you think you can buy me because of what you did… you don't have to. It's okay. It was my decision, you just respected me.”

"Nico, I'm not trying to buy you. It's just a gesture of gratitude. You've done a lot for our family. We want to reward you.”

"I don't need that. Seeing you happy is enough for me.”

"We know." Alice said.

Nico looked at Alice and saw that she was already looking at him. She had changed so much that he was even surprised; it seemed magical the way the little girl who hid behind her long black hair transformed into this confident teenager who faced her problems head on.

"We'll never forget you!" Logan said. "And you have to promise to call.”

Nico smiled at them and waved, trying not to show how much more their words meant, something that those clothes that must have cost an entire year of his pay, could never compare.

“I promise.”


Tags
1 year ago

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER IX - Parte III

This is the last part, I promise! Sorry for the mistake.

"Nico”

"Hm.”

"It's time to wake up.”

Nico grumbled and snuggled further under the covers. He was so tired that he felt like he would need a whole week to recover. 

He moved again, about to put the blanket over his head when he felt strong arms surround his waist, but what made him open his eyes was the kiss on his neck, on that little spot near the nape of his neck that was now making him react more intensely than he thought he should. It was all Percy's fault,  his fault for the way Percy had touched him the night before and all those words.

Gods! What had he done? Had Nico really said all that things to Percy? Nico couldn't believe it! He sat up and looked around. He was still in his room, and Percy? Well, the idiot was stillnext to him, leaning against the headboard and with such a satisfied smile on his face that it made him wonder: Had he said something he couldn't remember in the night before?

"So, do you like being spanked?”

"Percy!”

"I thought I was the only one you allowed to fu-"

"Don't you dare!" Okay, Nico admitted that he was panicking. 

"I wonder where is the boy who wanted to take things slow, hmm?”

In another leap, Nico threw himself on top of Percy and covered his mouth with his hands.

"I take back everything I said. All of it!”

Percy licked his hand and kept smiling at him until Nico gave up and let Percy speak:

"It's a shame. We could’ve had so much fun…”

"I… I don't know." Nico had to look away, maybe he didn't want to take anything back, no matter how humiliating it was.

"Baby. Come here.”

Nico went, of course. 

Percy grabbed him around the waist and made him lie down on his chest, one of Percy's hands immediately going to his hair. Nico didn't understand why that gesture calmed him down so much, or why this feeling of tenderness made him want to tell Percy everything he hadn't said the night before. It's just that... he felt conditioned to never to lie to Percy, and he had already said so much… Nico wished he had a time machine to make sure none of it had happened, because only then he would be sure that nothing between them would ever change.

"I'm so sorry.”

"Nico.”

"I shouldn't have left. But when you told me to meet other people, I thought... I thought we would never have a chance. So why wait for something that's never going to happen?”

"It's all right. It's my fault.”

"I don't care who's fault it is. I want you to say that you forgive me and that this won't affect things in the future.”

"I forgive you and that won't change anything.”

Nico knew that Percy was only saying this because he had asked, but even so, the knot in his stomach seemed to loosen a little bit.

"Promise?”

"I promise.”

Nico pulled away enough so he could look into Percy's face and touched him there gently, caressing the sides of his neck.

"You know I love you, don't you? For real?" Nico forced himself to say, seeing a small smile appear on Percy's lips.

"Why those words now?

"I realized... I thought I liked you because you were my first friend. But when I was in Italy, it felt like something was missing. I tried to find it in other people, you know?”

"What were you looking for?" That's when Percy touched his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

Ahg, he couldn't look at Percy when Percy acted so kind.

"I don't know!" It was a lie, of course. And Percy knew it. “It's hard to express how much you mean to me. So when I don't tell you things, it's because I can't, not because I don't want to.

"I know that. But I need you to tell me anyway. I need you to give me permission." Then, Percy touched the back of his neck, pulling his head up to face him. And yet, when Nico refused and kept his eyes closed, Percy insisted: "Beautiful. Look at me.”

Nico did it, he did it because it was impossible to resist when Percy spoke to him in that firm, and at the same time, reassuring tone.

"I understand. You don't have to force yourself.” 

"I'm sorry.”

"No, Nico. It's not your fault.”

"I don't want to make you worry.

Because that was the truth. He'd always liked to go through life quietly and unnoticed, except that Percy had taken note of him and hadn't let him go ever since. No matter how much time passed, he would never get used to the attention Percy gave him and even after a decade, it still was strange, it was like  he was in a dream and at any moment Nico would wake up, realizing that Percy had been his imagination playing tricks on him.

"This won't happen again.”

"What are you talking about?" Nico asked, not understanding.

" I won't force you. Just… just tell me if you need to. Anything.

"Anything?”

"Of course.”

"Then, tell me you love me.”

"I love you.”

"Again”.

"I love you.”

"Again.”

"Nico." Percy smiled and kissed Nico, interrupting him. "What's going on? It’s about last night?”

"It's nothing.”

"I promise I won't do that again.”

"That...?”

"I'm not going to be... so intense or... you know.”

Why did Nico felt his face getting hot? And since that was the case...

"Why not?”

This was the moment Nico feared the most. Percy remained silent and stared at him for long seconds, giving him no choice but to stare back. He dreaded these silences so much because this was the moment when he couldn't lie, and if he couldn't speak, then he'd have no way of diverting the attention away from the truth. 

Yes, that was the reality, no matter how much he tried to hide it, Percy would always know everything in the end.

"Is this all because of shame? It’s the humiliation too much for you? Or is it because you like the feeling?

Nico didn't know how Percy managed to say all this in such a serious and composed way. Well, Percy was more right than he thought. However, when Nico got nervous, these feelings only came out in two ways: tears of anxiety or laughter. So imagine the scene where he started laughing out of nowhere while Percy remained serious and stern.

"Do you think I'm a joke?" Percy said and puffed out his chest, pretending to be offended.

"I would never think that.”

"I love you." Percy said, then hugged him tightly and stroked his back. “No matter what this thing is between us, we'll get through it together.”

That's what Nico expected. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope it's not too confusing. If it is, please warn this poor writer who sometimes can't see certain things. I wanted to end the week by suggesting a blog post from tumblr +18, but in this specific post there's nothing explicit. It's the idea I used for Nico's thoughts. Here, it might be interesting.

See you next week!

THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME - PERCY/NICO AU HIGH SCHOOL - CHAPTER IX - Parte II

Hello, how are you? I noticed that there was a part missing from the previous chapter. I've already put it in the full chapter, but it will also be here for those who have read the chapter before. It's a flashback to when Percy and Nico first met.

Happy reading!

Previous chapters: CHAPTER I / CHAPTER II / CHAPTER III / CHAPTER IV / CHAPTER V / CHAPTER VI / CHAPTER VII / CHAPTER VIII

Extra  - Getting to know each other

Another scene from the past, when Percy and Nico first met.

Percy looked around, making sure no one was following him, and left the empty classroom. Ever since his family's restaurant had become five"star, the stalking had begun. People who had never spoken to him now wanted to be his friend, his best friends started treating him like royalty. No matter where he went, everyone knew his name, trying to get a reservation on behalf of other adults. He had learned very quickly how to avoid these people who were now almost everyone he knew. And you know what was worse? These people weren't interested in his mother's food, they were interested in who frequented the restaurant. It was so unfair! Even to go to the bathroom the crowds followed him without giving him a minute's peace. Tyson was so lucky! He’d already finished high school and was about to graduate from college. Percy had no choice but to deal with the gossip and greedy, self"centered people.

Looking once again at the empty corridor, he put his cell phone back in his pocket and went into the bathroom.

Ah, finally. Silence. Just him and the urinal. He unzipped his pants and...he heard a moan. Right next to him. Percy turned his face and there were three boys in a circle. He saw that one of them was unzipping his pants and the others were already without them.

Well, that was none of his business.

"No, please. I… I…"

"You what? Are you going to tell your little sister? Your Dad?"

"Please!"

Percy sighed and walked towards them. His mother hadn't raised him to watch someone being abused.

He stopped behind them, in front of the mirror, and saw what was happening. A boy with the softest, most feminine features he had ever seen was trying to cover his face and was cowering against the wall, he was so small that reacting against those boys would have been stupid. The problem was that he was so distracted by the boy's beauty that Percy ended up missing when one of the boys grabbed his own member and pointed it towards the boy on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Percy finally said. The boys were startled and jumped away, covering themselves as best as they could.

"We... hey, aren't you that rich kid?"

Just what he needed.

"I said, what are you doing?"

"It's not what it seems."

"Oh, is not? How do you explain that?"

The three boys and Percy looked at the little boy on the ground, who was hiding his face and crying pitifully.

"You know what? I don't want to know. If I catch you doing it again…"

"You have no proof!"

"Are you sure?"

The boys looked at each other and after a few moments, ran off. And Percy Finally could do what he needed to do and leave.

That is, if the little boy hadn't lifted his face and looked at him with those deep black eyes, swollen and shining from crying. Slightly curly black waves of hair and the most beautiful red lips he had ever seen. Percy admitted that he had frozen, enjoying the sight. He, who had never been interested in anyone in his eleven years of life, found himself enchanted. And even when the little boy bit his lips and looked at him, still lying on the bathroom floor, Percy couldn't stop staring.

"You didn't have to." The little boy mumbled, shrinking further against the wall near the sink.

"I... was the right thing to do." That was the truth, it was the right thing to do, but what wasn't right was to admire the beautiful little boy, especially in a situation like that. He felt like a monster. "What's your name?"

"Nico. Niccolas."

Hmm... Italian. They say it's the language of love.

"Percy Jackson."

"Oh." Nico said, looking him up and down, his high cheeks getting hotter. "You're not going to do what those boys wanted to do... are you?”

"What they wanted to do?”

Nico looked down and Percy followed his gaze.

Oh, actually, his zipper was still open, but now there was a certain... volume there.

"I'm nothing like those boys.”

"Aren't you?" Nico still looked doubtful, even though he himself had a bulge in his pants. A much smaller one that Percy seemed to be analyzing more closely than he should.

"I'm not." Percy turned around, trying to convince himself, and walked to the urinal again.

He pulled down his underwear and tried to concentrate. No one had warned him that it would be so difficult to relieve himself with an erection on the way. Percy took a deep breath, relaxing, and finally succeeded. When he returned to the sink, intending to wash his hand, he saw that the little boy was still on the floor, watching him get close.

Nico had been watching him... go to the bathroom? Since the area was wide open, it was impossible not to see.

"Do you need help?" He said as he washed his hands, staring at their reflections in the mirror. Nico looked scared and embarrassed, while he himself was serious and almost absent, showing no emotion.

"No! I mean, I'm fine. Thank you very much.”

"All right, then.”

Percy dried his hand and turned towards the exit. He had offered to help, hadn't he? From then on, it wasn't his responsibility what happened to Nico.

***

Percy had never realized how big that school was. Two indoor and two outdoor courts, fifty classrooms, ten laboratories. Swimming pools, jogging trails and even a forest with a variety of plantations. It was a good place for anyone looking for a well-rounded education, but also for anyone looking for a place to hide. Luckily, Percy had found just the perfect place; deserted and quiet, right in front of one of the open courts. Best of all, the view from the stands was very limited, preventing people from finding him easily.

He walked calmly through the school corridors and arrived at his favorite spot, determined to make a few baskets on the court and eat something quick before the next class. Percy intended to join the team and didn't want it to be out of sheer favoritism. That is, he was just about to enter the court when he saw a black head of hair on the far side of the bleachers. Now, he needed to know who it was, and only then would Percy know if it was still a safe place or not.

Percy hurried over and saw that it was the same little boy as last time. He had a cut in his lip and the right side of his face was purple. Percy had the impulse to ask who had done this to him, but remembered it was none of his business. Especially since Nico seemed to be fine, apart from his bruised face, and seeing that Nico was eating a small feast. Percy could see at least four different kinds of dishes, all arranged in little bowls, the sight warming his heart for some reason. It must have been the way Nico cowered, trying to hide from him, but he still stared at him, smiling.

Percy watched Nico pick up one of the lunchboxes and, as shyly as possible, offer it to him, saying: "Do you want some?”

Percy found himself walking the rest of the distance to Nico, abandoning his backpack and basketball at the foot of the bleachers, and sat down in front of Nico.

"I brought it too. My mother is a cook.”

"Ah." Nico muttered and shrugged, picking up his fork. "I always make a lot. See?”

Nico then opened the other two lunchboxes and showed them to him. Vegetable pie with cheese. Meatballs. Calabrian bread. Cake, too.

"Do you? And your mother?”

"I don't have one. She's dead.”

That's when Percy realized what he was doing. Like a weirdo, he watched Nico eat as if it were the most wonderful thing in the world while the boy ate alone, having to make his own food.

"Your father? You must have one, right?”

Nico denied it and stuffed another piece of pie into his mouth, ignoring all the other dishes. "Dad's always traveling.”

"So...?”

"I learned from Mama before she died. Her food was the best!" But Nico said it so happily that Percy felt better.

"Who looks after you?”

"I have a nanny. My sister, too! She's the best sister in the world." Nico continued eating happily and Percy felt something in his eyes. What was going on? This boy couldn't be so naive, could he? So... happy? How old was he? Nine? Ten? He must be younger than himself.

"You really don't want to? I did it all by myself!”

"Everything? Did you even reach the stove?”

"Yes, I did! The nanny just turned on the stove. I have a ladder near the table and…”

"Yeah?”

"You're very mean. I don't want to talk to you anymore!”

Percy couldn't stand it, he put his hand around his belly and laughed. It had been a long time since he had seen something so cute and funny. Nico's chubby cheeks inflating like a balloon, his arms crossed, his lips in an even cuter pout.

"How old are you, eh?”

"I’m eleven! What's the problem?”

"You're so short and small. Who's feeding you?”

And again, Percy couldn't take it. Laughing at his own joke, he let himself fall backwards onto the bleachers, laughing and laughing until his breath died away and then came back, a happy smile remaining on his lips long after his crisis had passed.

"Are you okay?” Nico asked in a small, soft voice, making his heart melt.

Percy opened his eyes to see that Nico had approached where he was laing, sitting on his knees, all worried, his black eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

"So…" Percy said, trying to stop smiling. "We're in the same year. Why haven't I see you around?

"I saw you.” Nico said and lowered his eyes to his lap. "It's hard not to when people only talk about you.”

"What they say?”

"You get the best grades. You're the best at sports. You have the best girlfriend. That sort of thing.”

"Who is that girlfriend?”

"I think… Annabeth Chase? I'm not sure. I arrived a few weeks ago.”

"That's good to know.”

"Know what?”

"That I have a girlfriend.”

"You… don't know?" Nico tilted his head like a confused puppy and that got another laugh out of him. This time, Nico laughed along. He seemed to be holding back his laughter, but when Percy didn't stop, Nico found himself with no escape, joining in.

"You're funny.” Nico told him.

"No, you are.”

And like third-graders, which they both were, they laughed again as they heard the bell ring. Percy hadn't even realized that half an hour had passed, which was more time than he usually spent with his old friends. And what that said about him, hm?

"We have to go." He heard Nico say.

They really did.

In a hurry, he helped Nico collect the lunch boxes and accompanied him to his next class, discovering that Nico was in fact in the same class as him. Was Percy so distracted by trying to hide that he couldn't see what was going on around him? Well, that would change from that moment on.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading!


Tags
1 year ago

I love how intricate asexuality can be. No sex at all? Sure! Just want to watch? Brilliant! Only comfortable with topping? You go girl! Only rarely feel aroused and when you do it's very touch and go? Wonderful! Kinky but not in a sex way? Coolio! Queerness is full of nuance and people are complicated and things never live in a vacuum!!


Tags
8 months ago

NÃO HÁ LUGAR COMO O LAR - PERCY/NICO AU COLEGIAL - CAPÍTULO XXVI

Oii, como vai? Finalmente consegui escrever mais um capítulo. A gente tem que aproveitar quando a motivação bate à porta. Eu já tenho os próximos dois capítulos planejados, agora só falta escrever.😂😂😂

Desculpe pelos erros, acabei de terminar de escrever, e metade dele, escrevi hoje. O que quer dizer que no futuro vai ser revisado. Espero que vocês gostem.

Boa leitura!

Capítulos anteriores: CAPÍTULO I / CAPÍTULO II / CAPÍTULO III / CAPÍTULO IV / CAPÍTULO V / CAPÍTULO VI / CAPÍTULO VII / CAPÍTULO VIII / CAPÍTULO IX / CAPÍTULO X / CAPÍTULO XI / CAPÍTULO XII / CAPÍTULO XIII / CAPÍTULO XIV / CAPÍTULO XV / CAPÍTULO XVI / CAPÍTULO XVII / CAPÍTULO XVIII / CAPÍTULO XIX / CAPÍTULO XX / CAPÍTULO XXI / CAPÍTULO XXII / CAPÍTULO XXIII / CAPÍTULO XXIV / CAPÍTULO XXV

Percy se afastou lentamente da cama, e andou em direção ao guarda-roupa. Ainda não acreditava no que tinha feito. Nico não era como Luke, ou como um garoto qualquer, onde Percy se divertiria um pouco e depois largaria, sem se importar com as consequências. Não, com Nico era necessário um cuidado extra, ele precisava de tempo e atenção, de ser tratado da forma certa e no ritmo certo para que em sua pressa, Percy não arruinasse tudo. Era por isso que não podia se deixar levar dessa forma, se divertindo mais do que devia com a reação e o desconforto de Nico, vendo Nico ficar mais excitado a cada momento que passava sem nem saber o que fazia.

Será que Nico percebia a facilidade que tinha de entrar naquele estado de submissão? Suas pupilas se dilatavam, seu rosto corava, e até sua postura se transformava, se curvando levemente, o clima mudando drasticamente quando Nico se transformava naquele ser completamente obediente e doce, que até as outras pessoas ao redor percebiam. O pior? Percy se transformava junto, trazendo seu pior lado à tona.

Felizmente, tudo isso tinha ficado no fim de semana. Percy fez questão de guardar essas memórias dentro da caixa que Apolo tinha lhe dado, junto com a coleira e os outros objetos. Entretanto, manteve a tal caixa em cima da escrivaninha ao lado da cama, fora de vista, porém, perto o suficiente se eles decidissem dar um passo além do que ambos estavam confortáveis no momento.

— Per? — Era Nico quem o chamava, o único que usava aquele apelido ou dizia seu nome tão docemente.

Nico estava sentado na cama, dedilhando sua gargantilha com a mesma mão onde a aliança de noivado estava. Ele tinha aquele mesmo olhar perdido e rosto corado, mesmo que eles tenham apenas tomado banho e se vestido para ir o colégio. Percy decidiu ignorar a vontade de prender Nico contra a cama e dar o que ambos queriam, e apenas sorriu, contente em observar Nico.

— O que foi, bebê?

— A gente... está tudo bem?

— É claro que está.

— Então, porque você não me tocou desde... desde a coleira?

Percy parou e pensou: “Hm. Isso era verdade.” Não tinha sido algo consciente ou para punir Nico. Percy só achou que seria bom alguns momentos para eles respirarem um pouco.

— Não se preocupe, hmm? Me dá um beijo.

Percy voltou até a cama e se ajoelhou entre as pernas de Nico, ficando da altura dele, e o beijou. Algo doce e suave. Percy não pretendia transformar o beijo em algo além de uma caricia passageira. O problema era Nico e seus gemidos doces, a forma que ele abriu os lábios e arfou, que enrolou as pernas em volta de sua cintura e o puxou para cima, o convidando a se deitar em cima de Nico. Quando Percy viu, agarrava Nico pelos cabelos, roçando sua língua contra de Nico, engolindo seus gemidos.

Se afastar de Nico foi como emergir depois de longas horas nadando, ele sentia que poderia continuar por mais algum tempo, mas que não seria bom para ele se continuasse. Por isso, descolou seus lábios dos de Nico, respirou fundo e afastou sua cabeça lentamente. Apoiou um joelho na ponta da cama e inspirou, forçando seu coração a bater em um ritmo normal. Já Nico? Ele estava deitado, estatelado no meio dos lençóis, respirando tão fundo quanto ele, porém, completamente feliz e contente em continuar exatamente onde estava, piscando lentamente enquanto o via se afastar.

Parece que ele teria que ser o adulto ali.

Percy praticamente se jogou para fora da cama, para logo em seguida pegar o sapato de Nico e os calçar nos pés de Nico, amarrando os cadarços. Se levantou, foi em direção ao guarda-roupas e pegou suas jaquetas. Ajudou Nico a se sentar na cama e enfim, colocou uma delas em Nico que apenas levantou os braços, se permitindo ser vestido.

Se pudesse, ficaria hoje em casa e se certificaria que Nico continuasse em sua feliz e contente bolha de prazer. Isso é, se não fosse as provas se aproximando. Eles tinham estudado muito para deixar que tudo fosse arruinado agora.

— Você não precisava fazer isso. — Nico disse, seu rosto se esquentando, parecendo voltar a realidade.

Percy apenas olhou para ele e sorriu, pegando suas bolsas do chão, o violão de Nico, e segurou na mão de Nico que agora se arrastava de má vontade pelo carpete, o guiando para fora do quarto em direção a porta de saída.

***

Percy se sentou no banco e fechou os olhos por um momento. A preparação para as provas finais estava começando e os professores estavam decididos a fazer sua vida miserável. Sete trabalhos, testes surpresas e apresentações em grupo, tudo o que ele não precisava nesse momento. Se ele pudesse ter um momento para recuperar o folego tinha certeza que—

— ...cy? Percy!

— Hm?

— Você não escutou nada do que eu disse!

Percy tentou não revirar os olhos, mas parecia que tinha sido em vão. Luke tentava dizer algo que devia ser muito importante, Percy tinha certeza. Algo sobre o time, ou provavelmente sobre a formatura. Na verdade, em sua ausência, Luke estava se mostrando ser um ótimo líder, um bom amigo e alguém que ele podia confiar mesmo que o ciúme sempre fosse falar mais alto.

— Eu sei que você está ocupado com Nico e o futuro da sua vida perfeita. Mas será que pode prestar atenção em mim?

Percy sorriu para Luke e o abraçou pelo pescoço, o fazendo lembrar das milhares de noites onde a solidão o fez buscar refúgio naqueles mesmos braços, mas que não importava o quanto Luke tentasse, nunca seria suficiente para Percy. A realidade é que por debaixo do flerte e da diversão, Luke era mais um que buscava um lugar a qual pertencer.

— Você não precisa de mim. Nunca precisou.

— Percy! Estou falando sério.

— Eu também. — Percy disse. Ele se virou em direção a Luke e segurou no rosto dele, o admirando como Percy raramente fazia. Era uma pena que ele já amava Nico. Luke merecia alguém que o amasse o tanto quanto ele amava Nico. — Vou sair do time essa semana.

— O quê? Por que agora? Tão perto da graduação?

— É uma surpresa. Não vou fazer faculdade aqui.

— Você não pode largar tudo por causa dele!

— Recebi uma boa proposta na Itália.

— Tem certeza? Você se esforçou tanto.

— Você merece.

— Eu? O que eu tenho a ver com isso? — Luke se afastou, se inclinando para trás, e coçou a cabeça, completamente confuso.

— Você vai ser um ótimo capitão.

— Eu... — Luke gaguejou e parou de falar, e Percy pode ver pela primeira vez em muito tempo uma emoção verdadeira passar pelo rosto de Luke. — Você não precisa sair do time. Nós precisamos de você se quisermos vencer.

— Hm. Talvez. Se você insiste.

***

No fim, Percy acabou sendo vencido pelo cansaço, ele seria vice capitão enquanto Luke tomaria seu lugar. O treinador parecia orgulhosos deles por algum motivo, e nada pareceu realmente mudar, ainda que ele não fosse em todos os treinos. Sem os treinos, Percy passou a ter mais tempo para falar com a mãe e planejar os próximos passos, como a faculdade e o casamento. Uma casa. Mas sem que Nico percebesse que algo muito drástico estivesse acontecendo.

— Venha no próximo treino.

— Eu preciso mesmo? — Percy falou para Luke e então se virou para Grover que estava a seu lado, abraçado com Juniper. Grover deu de ombros e Juniper sorriu, a líder de torcida apenas abraçou Grover com mais força e encostou a cabeça no ombro dele.

— O primeiro jogo é daqui oito dias. Por favor.

— Só porque você pediu com carinho.

Percy bagunçou os cabelos de Luke, e Luke se levantou, levando sua bolsa e prancheta junto. Ele observou Luke marchar para fora do pátio e viu Nico aparecer logo em seguida com sua bolsa e violão pendurados no ombro. Uma aparição incomum. Há essa hora Nico estaria na prática de banda se preparando para a apresentação no baile de formatura e não ali, parecendo um cachorrinho abandonado na estrada. Antes que Nico pudesse sumir entre a multidão de adolescentes, Percy correu em sua direção o segurando pelo ombro, o virando em sua direção.

— O que aconteceu?

Percy percebeu imediatamente que algo estava errado. Ele tocou no rosto de Nico e virou o rosto dele em sua direção, o movendo em vários ângulos. Procurou no pescoço e desceu os dedos pelos ombros de Nico, não encontrando nada errado. Isso é, até que Nico o entreolhou pelos cílios e piscou lentamente em sua direção.

— Não aconteceu nada. A prática de hoje foi cancelada. A professora estava ausente. O pessoal ia sair para comer... eu preferi ficar aqui.

— O que aconteceu no caminho até aqui?

— Não foi nada, eu juro.

Percy pensou em continuar com suas perguntas, mas, então, lembrou a promessa de não questionar as ações de Nico. Ele iria confiar em seu bebê.

— Quer descansar um pouco ou quer ir para casa?

Ele sabia que isso não era justo, ficar testando o quanto Nico realmente era dependente dele. Imagina seu alívio ao ver Nico parar e pensar durante alguns segundos, suas sobrancelhas se fincando e biquinho de concentração aparecendo em seus lábios. Nico tirava um peso enorme das costas de Percy sem nem saber; não porque era difícil para Percy continuar decidindo tudo pelos dois e sim porque, dessa forma, Percy sabia que não estava machucando Nico de alguma forma ou aprofundando nenhum tipo de trauma.

— A gente pode descansar um pouco e depois estudar?

Percy gemeu, já se arrependendo de ter perguntado. Nico poderia negar, mas amava torturá-lo com as eternas sessões de estudo. Percy tinha certeza disso.

— Sério? É só nisso que você pensa?

Tudo o que Nico fez foi rir, todo delicado, e segurar na alça de sua mochila, se fazendo de fofo e inocente.

— O que foi? Vai ser bom pra você. Assim, a gente vai treinando para a faculdade. — Nico continuou sorrindo, usando uma voz toda meiga e baixinha, e segurou em suas mãos, o fazendo esquecer a reclamação que estava prestes a vir.

Viu? E depois as pessoas o chamavam de manipular e frio. Isso é porque elas nunca prestaram atenção no que Nico fazia. Percy sorriu de volta e pegou a mochila e o violão do ombro de Nico, andando em direção aos bancos no pátio descoberto. Ele sabia o quanto Nico gostava de deitar sob a luz do sol.

Não era uma visão comum aquela, ele sentado no banco no meio do pátio e Nico com a cabeça em seu colo. Nico tinha os olhos fechados e respirava tranquilamente, enquanto Percy massageava seus cabelos, lento e cuidadoso, tocando nas orelhas pequenas e macias, no pescoço longo, na nuca cheirosa.

— Para de olhar para mim dessa forma. — Nico diz de olhos ainda fechados, embora Percy pudesse sentir o rosto entre suas mãos esquentando lentamente.

— Como eu estou te olhando?

— Como se eu fosse fugir.

— Não é por isso que estou olhando pra você. — Percy continua tocando na pele de Nico, descendo seus dedos pelo pescoço de Nico, e para com a mão sobre a gargantilha, e enfim se inclina sobre Nico, o beijando suavemente sobre o couro. Percy sobe seus lábios e encontra aquele pedaço de pele, bem atras da orelha de Nico, que faz o garoto se arrepiar dos pés à cabeça.

É claro que esse é o momento onde Luke grita para eles encontrarem um quarto.

— De onde é que ele veio? — Nico diz, e algo na voz dele faz Percy parar e encará-lo, vendo Nico abrir os olhos suavemente. Percy poderia se forçar a acreditar que nada estava errado, mas... era tão obvio. — Eu vi você abraçando o Luke.

Então, era isso.

— Ele é só um amigo.

— Eu não gosto disso. — Nesse momento, Nico realmente o encarou e frisou cada palavra. — Como ele foi seu amigo quando eu estava na Itália, é isso?

— Nossa. — Percy estava sem palavras. Era até engraçado, mesmo que no fundo Nico estivesse certo. Qualquer amigo poderia ter se tornado mais quando Nico estava do outro lado do mundo e Percy estava ali, sozinho e solitário.

— O que foi, não isso o que você fez?

— Você está certo. — Percy disse, tentando acalmar seu bebê manhoso. — Eu não sabia que isso era um problema.

— Você não agiu diferente quando eu contei sobre meu ex-namorado.

Hm. Isso era verdade. Como sempre, Nico estava certo.

Percy pensou em se justificar e dizer que eles ficaram bravos por motivos deferentes. Ele não entedia porque Nico teve que ir procurar sexo do outro lado do mundo e Nico não gostava que Percy tinha tentado o substituir com a primeira pessoa que apareceu.

— Eu sinto muito, bebê. Juro que isso ficou no passado. Prometo que isso não vai se repetir.

— Você transar com outras pessoas ou ficar tocando seus “amigos”?

Dessa vez, Percy não aguentou. Ele jogou a cabeça para trás e gargalhou. Deuses! Ele sentiu tanto a falta de Nico, dos ciúmes sem sentido e da obsessão que ambos tinham pelo outro. Mesmo que ele entendesse ser algo erado, era como volta para casa depois de longo dia cansativo.

— Os dois. Não vou fazer nenhum dos dois sem seu consentimento.

Então, a coisa mais fofa aconteceu. Feito o bebê que Nico era, ele fez um biquinho e encheu as bochechas de ar, mostrando seu descontentamento, e logo em seguida se virou de lado, escondendo o rosto em sua barriga.

— As vezes eu te odeio. Odeio esse sentimento que me corrói por dentro. Eu quero você só pra mim. Sei que você faz essas coisas de propósito! — Nico levantou a voz e se afundou mais ainda conta seu colo, se roçando com Percy um pouco além da conta.

Agora, quem estava fazendo o que não devia de proposito?

— Bebê, eu juro. Não fiz iss—

— Percy, quando tempo.

Porra! Ela tinha que aparecer logo agora?

Por um momento as vozes ao redor do pátio pareceram se calar, e um silêncio estranho, como se as outras pessoas tivessem se petrificado no lugar para escutar melhor e ver o que aconteceria. Até Nico pareceu parar de respirar, ficando tenso em seus braços e de costas para Annabeth. E logo quando ele disse que não iria fazer aquelas coisas...

— Per-cy!

— Você não precisa gritar, todo estão te ouvindo. — Ele murmurou, tentando amenizar a situação.

— Quando você vai contra os ingressos para o baile?

— Não sei do que você está falando.

— Você não lembra? Você prometeu.

— Só nos seus sonhos.

Percy não pôde evitar, olhou para baixo e viu que Nico já o encarava, furioso, um olhar tão decidido que ele sabia que teria que fazer uma reparação de danos. Ele mal percebeu que ainda segurava nos cabelos e na gargantilha de Nico, ainda com seus dedos sobre a pele de Nico, possessivo e protetor. A maior surpresa veio em seguida, Nico segurou em suas mãos e as afastou dele, lutando para se levantar, fugindo dele mais uma vez.

Isso foi o suficiente para Percy entrar em ação. Percy luxou Nico para trás, e o virou, o fazendo se sentar em seu colo, mais uma vez de costas para Annabeth.

— Onde você pensa que vai, hm?

— Pensei que você queria conversar com seus amigos.

Ah, tanta mágoa, tanto ciúme, tão amargo. Será que ele seria uma pessoa horrível por sabia que Nico se importava tanto assim, mesmo que fosse através de emoções tão ruins?

— Bebê?

— O que foi?!

Percy levantou a cabeça de Nico, que se negava em encará-lo, e se aproximou do ouvido dele, para que somente Nico pudesse ouvir:

— Eu te amo. Só você e ninguém mais.

— Mentiroso!

— Eu nunca mimaria ninguém como eu te mimo. Nunca faria todos as suas vontades ou me permitiria ficar tão vulnerável se eu não te amasse. Sabe o que mais eu nunca faria?

— O que? — Dessa vez, a voz de Nico saiu bem mais baixa, quase em um sussurro.

— Eu nunca te foderia como eu faço com você. Nunca aceitaria a submissão de alguém que não fosse você. Porque eu escolheria outra pessoa quando a coisa mais perfeita e obediente está bem na minha frente. Hm? Me responda.

Nico se afastou apenas o suficiente para encará-lo, agora seu rosto e orelhas pegando fogo. Sua atitude completamente diferente do que há cinco minutos atras.

— Eu... me desculpa. Eu não quis dizer essas coisas. Eu só...

— Eu devia te castigar. Devia mostrar o que garotos mal comportados merecem.

O momento seria cômico se Percy não estivesse tão excitado, e aparentemente, Nico também estava; ele podia sentir o pequeno volume contra a parte baixa de sua barriga, e a forma que Nico gemeu e se segurou em seus ombros teria lhe dito o que acontecia de qualquer forma.

— Agora, como você vai se desculpar?

— Desculpar? — Nico parecia confuso, mas mesmo assim, se aproximava mais dele, colando seus corpos e o abraçando pelo pescoço.

Nico apenas precisou de um empurrãozinho e seus lábios estavam se conectando. Suas línguas logo se encontraram e gemido arfado veio em seguida. Infelizmente, Percy não podia deixar que as coisas fossem longe demais, afinal de contas eles ainda estavam em público, e seu bebê era bom demais para aqueles olhos de rapina, procurando pela próxima fofoca.

Percy segurou Nico pela parte de trás do pescoço e separou suas bocas, vendo Nico arfar como se tivessem feito muito mais do que compartilhar um beijo rápido. Talvez não fosse uma boa ideia deixar Nico muito tempo sem sexo.

— Que tal a gente ir para casa, hm? Tomar um banho relaxante? Prometo que amanhã a gente estuda o quanto você quiser.

Nico apenas acenou, piscando lentamente. Ele ajudou Nico a pegar suas bolsas e quando se levantou, Annabeth ainda estava parada no meio do caminho, mais perto do que Percy gostaria que ela estivesse deles. Bem, isso não importava. Contanto que Annabeth não se intrometesse em sua vida, ela podia fazer o que quisesse, mesmo que isso significasse o vigiar feito um gavião.

Obrigada por ler! Comentários sempre me motivam.


Tags
2 years ago

O que eu mais gosto são de personagens que parecem bonzinhos, mas que no fundo não são nada legais.


Tags
2 months ago
Who Else Gets This Kind Of Surprises? 😅

Who else gets this kind of surprises? 😅

1 year ago

Update

Oii, como vai? Eu consegui fazer uma capa para uma das minhas histórias com Inteligencia artificial! Eu só queria compartilhar com vocês. ❤❤

Update
Update

Eu fiz uma capa em Inglês também, mas por enquanto apenas tenho a versão em português. A história está incompleta, mas quem quiser ler >>> SpiritFanfic e AO3. Provavelmente no futuro vou traze-la para cá.


Tags
  • auroraescritora
    auroraescritora reblogged this · 9 months ago
  • bobtheskeleton
    bobtheskeleton reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • hawkfoxwolf
    hawkfoxwolf reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • hawkfoxwolf
    hawkfoxwolf liked this · 1 year ago
  • library-cryptid
    library-cryptid liked this · 1 year ago
  • slow-motion-shadow
    slow-motion-shadow liked this · 1 year ago
  • soilrockslove
    soilrockslove liked this · 1 year ago
  • encrucijada
    encrucijada liked this · 1 year ago
  • pleasantartisanhottea
    pleasantartisanhottea liked this · 1 year ago
  • mackerelgray
    mackerelgray reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • lizardywizard
    lizardywizard reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • lizardywizard
    lizardywizard liked this · 1 year ago
  • hawkfoxwolf
    hawkfoxwolf reblogged this · 1 year ago
  • kiraknowsyourame
    kiraknowsyourame liked this · 2 years ago
  • sciencevillain
    sciencevillain liked this · 2 years ago
  • mackerelgray
    mackerelgray liked this · 2 years ago
  • starqueen-101
    starqueen-101 liked this · 2 years ago
  • greenthistle
    greenthistle liked this · 2 years ago
  • rationix
    rationix liked this · 2 years ago
  • flamingears
    flamingears liked this · 2 years ago
  • watermelon-flavor
    watermelon-flavor liked this · 2 years ago
  • pinkerhero
    pinkerhero liked this · 2 years ago
  • qwertzsurvived
    qwertzsurvived liked this · 2 years ago
  • xaren-jo
    xaren-jo reblogged this · 2 years ago
  • xaren-jo
    xaren-jo liked this · 2 years ago
  • hank-green-john-watson-emma
    hank-green-john-watson-emma liked this · 3 years ago
  • carideatheecreative
    carideatheecreative liked this · 3 years ago
  • nzcienif
    nzcienif reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • paradise-remade
    paradise-remade liked this · 3 years ago
  • who-are-we-to-change
    who-are-we-to-change liked this · 3 years ago
  • midiocris
    midiocris reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • queer-rainebo
    queer-rainebo reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • birchparmelia
    birchparmelia liked this · 3 years ago
  • pega-chan
    pega-chan reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • pega-chan
    pega-chan liked this · 3 years ago
  • nzcienif
    nzcienif reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • nzcienif
    nzcienif reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • nzcienif
    nzcienif liked this · 3 years ago
  • hringana
    hringana liked this · 3 years ago
  • aloninka
    aloninka reblogged this · 3 years ago
  • stellarspecter
    stellarspecter liked this · 3 years ago
  • loserbeans
    loserbeans liked this · 3 years ago
  • othert
    othert reblogged this · 3 years ago
auroraescritora - Aurora Escritora
Aurora Escritora

Sejam bem-vindos! Olá, esse é meu blog pessoal. Escrevo fanfics Pernico/Nicercy e orginais, e reblogo alguns posts de vez em quando. História Atual Não há lugar como o Lar - versão em Portugues There's no Place like home - English version Resumo: Nico está voltando da Itália depois de passar dois anos por lá e encontra Percy, o melhor amigo que ele deixou para trás, mas que manteve contato nesse tempo afastado. O resto se desenvolve a partir desse reencontro. Se você quiser saber o que eu escrevo, siga a tag #my writing

464 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags