Dick: Ugh, Crushes Are So Dumb.

Duke: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Dick: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Duke: *starts to leave patrol at sundown*

*an explosion is heard from nearby area*

Gotham Citizen: What was that?

Duke: The sound of someone else's problem.

Bruce: Here's some advice

Dick: I didn't ask for any

Bruce: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Carrie: We need to get through this locked door. Tiffany , give me your credit card.

Tiffany : Here.

Carrie, pocketing it: Thanks. Luke , kick down the door.

Congratulations you now get to simp

Damian: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Cass: >:O

Dick: language

Jason: Yeah watch your fucking language

Tim: Okay, who taught demon spawn the fuck word?!

Stephanie: 'The fuck word'.

Duke: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Tim: Oh my god they censored it

Stephanie: Say fuck, Duke.

Jason: Do it, Duke. Say fuck.

Dick: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Barbara: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

______________

Damian: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Carrie: Isn't that just killing people?

Damian: Ah, don’t sweat the details .

______________

Jason: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Dick: Twelve, actually.

Jason: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Dick: Yours!

Jason: That's right: no one's.

_______________

Damian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Steph: I think you mean cards.

Damian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

________________

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bruce Wayne please come to the front desk?

Bruce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to the batkids

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Dick, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Bruce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

__________________

Barbara: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Luke: You people already know too much about me.

Tiffany: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

______________________

Tim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Cullen: Just rip the bandage off.

Tim: It’s Kon.

Cullen: Put the bandage back on.

Jason : *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Bruce: Mind your language!

Jason : What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Bruce*bruce looking unimpressed but speechless*: …….

Stephanie : You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Honestly true

Whoops accidentally deleted this anyway this is hands down the best trio friendship dynamic

Dick: Time for plan G.

Stephanie : Don’t you mean plan B?

Dick: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Tim: What about plan D?

Dick: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Cass : What about plan E?

Dick: I’m hoping not to use it. Jason dies again in plan E.

Damian : I like plan E.