Give Me Your Energy, Internet Friends. It Is So Hard To Push Through The Depression And Do Anything.

I have bipolar disorder, autism, and social agoraphobia. That's why I can't work. I have had so many different jobs, and it never works out. So I have to transition to working from home, which for me means that I have to learn some sort of creative skill like art.

This is a meme, apparently.

Thank you. Yes, I REALLY do need to affirm my new name. I still have to use my old name in real life. I need to keep reinforcing my new name by using it here, so that my new sense of identity is not extinguished. So I started an art therapy project to draw my new name in different ways.

I am too depressed to do anything, and my thoughts are troubled by paranoia. However, I feel more stable than I did yesterday. Daily Affirmation: My name is Blue, and feeling bad does not make me a bad person.

∅ Hi, I'm Blue! ∅ I put the letters on the side this time. I'm so talented!

I did some yard work today to make a little money. Tomorrow, I need to get up bright and early and panhandle. I did not choose to be disabled. I deserve to live well. Daily Affirmation: My name is Blue, and it is not selfish of me to ask for help.

Daily Affirmation: My name is Blue, and I am able to learn new skills.

What a fascinating experience this is, to see something I drew incorporated into someone else's work. We have collaborated together now, and made something that is greater than the sum of its parts! What a tremendous new experience! The only artistic collaboration I have done previously was singing in the choir.

Thank you for these lovely images!

Agender symbol, white on black, HD

Agender symbol, white on clear, HD (for printing)

∅ Hi, Blue here. ∅ I made an attempt at drawing something useful today. This is my version of the agender gender symbol. I like the use of the empty set sign from math to represent my agender identity. I wanted the image to print on a couple of t-shirts. So that's my image for today.

I don't feel like I have a particular gender, and that is totally valid!

I tried to quit nicotine again yesterday. Cue the instability and mental screaming. I couldn't do it. I bought some more nicotine. Panhandling annoys the conservatives, and it will pay for my nicotine. I really need to get out there and panhandle. The worst thing that could happen is a mugger tries to kill me and take my money. I am a giant. I have never been mugged before. The first person who tries to mug me gets to find out what it's like to have all their joints dislocated one by one. But that probably won't happen. I'll take a picture of the panhandling spot and post a tracing this evening.

∅ Hello, I'm Blue! ∅ I put the letters in different quadrants this time. I'm so clever!

Happy midnight! Today is a new day! I am terrified to go panhandling. I don't think I can do it. I would need to be actually homeless to have enough desperation. I guess that means I'm giving up nicotine. But that stuff is bad for me anyway. Would you beg on the streets to avoid nicotine withdrawal? It seems, for me, the answer is "no."