Decrepitasylum - There's No Snow In February

i can't get you to understand a single bit. so why bother trying, why dont I just leave again, and not temporarily this time.

i don't know what's going on anymore, I'm just gonna blackout until the 12th

being pissed while suicidal is leading up to a great idea later tonight

i am freezing right now, why is the cafeteria so cold

i don't know why I just have the urge to avoid and ignore everyone and shut down.

its in my head that everyone hates me and will ignore me when I'm in an episode because that's what fucking happened today. i was right im always right about this, it always happens and I know it will happen. they will always ignore me. they don't care, they will always choose each other first before me.

why do I barely bleed. I hit deep styros again (wouldn't say baby beans even though I think I saw a few)

and it's barely bleeding or dripping. why does this happens with all my cuts.

great im sick.

and it wasn't just a slow build. its like I got hit by a fucking semi today and immediately I'm sick with a ruined throat.

starting off the morning with extreme anxiety because I don't wanna go to school, woke up absolutely way too early so that's even less sleep, woke up to messages from A, who I haven't heard in 4 months and I don't want to open them

increased anxiety and suicidal ideations this morning, such fun

i know for a fact, no one else at my school listens to him or even heard of him.

which makes me happier, I can finally have something that's mine

they can't take that away too. they can't take my only comfort away like everything else has.