This Is My Experience In Being Agender Basically, I’m Too Close To Heaven To Be Anything Else

hello hello. list of things i love in life bc. why not

when you're tanning and the sun is beaming down perfectly

those cabbage white butterflies that show up around now (they remind me of NC)

creeks in forests that have itty bitty fish in them

the laughter after you've said smth funny

when someone's eyes light up when you ask them abt smth they like

cats chittering at birds through windows

hot chocolate after playing in the snow

picking flowers and putting them in your hair

smiling at someone you know from far away

the sounds of seagulls at the shore

when an outfit comes out exactly as you planned it and you feel great

jumping off boats into lakes

turning over rocks and seeing cool bugs

walking home with a great song playing

getting under a warm blanket after a long day

sandwiches with chips between the deli meat so every bite is crunchy

holding a warm cup of tea/coffee in your hands

hearing someone's voice after you haven't heard it for a while

putting on makeup with a fun song playing

the sound of jewelry clicking together

waking up after a nap and feeling well rested

noticing your features in the mirror and loving how you look

diving underwater and hearing nothing but your heartbeat

looking up at a full moon or the stars

sitting around a bonfire late at night and going to bed smelling like smoke

getting complimented on something you wouldn't have noticed yourself

singing badly with someone and laughing wildly

looking out the window as the plane takes

swinging super high on the swings

searching for someone in a room and realizing they were looking for you too

the taste of cold tap water

lying on a trampoline and just relaxing

running into the ocean for the first time in summer

when you catch a fish and take it off the hook and your bait is still there

going downhill on a bike really fast

blah blah blah bitch says nothing and everything all at once

clairo blasting in my ears. blogging in public. realizing i sort of forgot how to socialize over break. but it’s okay because music and my diet coke i’ll drink at lunch ^_^ i am so full of joy

yall ever feel so frustrated abt how stupid u are ghat u start crying in class and have to lock in so ur mascara doesn’t run 🤣🤣😂🤣 just me lol ????😂

i am in immense pain but i won’t take any meds for it bc did joan of arc have meds for her period cramps. no and she led an entire army to victory so i can thug it out

salt anf watermelon 🤤🤤🤤 THIS SNACK IS RIDING ME!!! OH GOD!!!!!!

hi random ramble abt my mom cuz she occupies my mind at least twice a week unfortunately

i was looking thru my book collection and found a child called “it” by dave pelzer and fuck dude. my mom forced me to read it like a year and a half ago so i would “know what real abuse was” and see “how bad she could REALLY be”. the books an autobiography by dave abt how he was horribly (and i mean horribly. like huge tw for literally everything u can think) abused by his mother. it didnt make me appreciate how my mother treated me. it made me scared that she threatened she could be that way. and it wasn’t just threats. she did do horrible things to me. she broke a plate over my head once. she puts her cigarettes out on me and all sorts of fucked shit you shouldn’t do to someone. ever. i can’t even think abt some of it without going insane so i just push it down and pretend it never happened. her making me read that book was basically the beginning of her being absolutely cruel to me. and she wanted me to be grateful that it wasn’t as bad as dave’s story. that didn’t help, it just made me feel like my experiences or trauma or whatever was invalid because someone always has it worse. like i’ve no reason to complain, at least xyz isn’t happening to me. idk i’m gonna end up re-reading it and feel icky all over again one of these days but yay i hate my mom ♥️

i was supposed to do a powerpoint tn bc we r supposed to present them tmrw but. i am so sleepy and yk what grades don’t matter when i have this much joy in my heart

who up

gooning?

i miss being a huge swiftie like don’t get me wrong i still love her music and know all the lyrics to most songs but like fall 2023 when 1989 TV came out was so peak

hearing slut! for the first time changed me as a person…. and now that we don’t talk omfg PEAK

*paws at u* can i have a cigarette can i have a cigarette can i habe a cigarette