Hi Random Ramble Abt My Mom Cuz She Occupies My Mind At Least Twice A Week Unfortunately

hi random ramble abt my mom cuz she occupies my mind at least twice a week unfortunately

i was looking thru my book collection and found a child called “it” by dave pelzer and fuck dude. my mom forced me to read it like a year and a half ago so i would “know what real abuse was” and see “how bad she could REALLY be”. the books an autobiography by dave abt how he was horribly (and i mean horribly. like huge tw for literally everything u can think) abused by his mother. it didnt make me appreciate how my mother treated me. it made me scared that she threatened she could be that way. and it wasn’t just threats. she did do horrible things to me. she broke a plate over my head once. she puts her cigarettes out on me and all sorts of fucked shit you shouldn’t do to someone. ever. i can’t even think abt some of it without going insane so i just push it down and pretend it never happened. her making me read that book was basically the beginning of her being absolutely cruel to me. and she wanted me to be grateful that it wasn’t as bad as dave’s story. that didn’t help, it just made me feel like my experiences or trauma or whatever was invalid because someone always has it worse. like i’ve no reason to complain, at least xyz isn’t happening to me. idk i’m gonna end up re-reading it and feel icky all over again one of these days but yay i hate my mom ♥️