BELTANE STRAWBERRY LEMON PASSION BARS

I am a Gryffindor, but I’d like too be a Ravenclaw so I just tell people I’m a Ravenclaw. But that’s a very Gryffindor thing to do.

the reason us gays gotta come out of the closet is to make room for all the flannel we buy

THIS BITCH WHIMPERS

the holy trinity

Misha is the parent I’m going to be.

misha is the parent i aspire to be

So a couple years ago

My family of 7 went To Walmart and I have a little sister who was potty training at the time. Anyway, we were shopping for baby stuff because 7 was going to become 8. Any we passed those potties they have on the shelves. Suddenly we couldn’t find my sister, and we looked around and SHE WAS POOPING IN THE POTTY ON THE SHELF IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART. WE HAD TO BUY IT

Super Fudgy Raspberry Stuffed Brownie Cookies

Ingredients

2 cups (200 g) raspberries, fresh or frozen

7 oz (200 g) dark chocolate, chopped

9 tbsp (125 g) unsalted butter, cubed

2 eggs

½ cup (100 g) white sugar

1 cup + 1 tbsp (130 g) plain gluten free flour blend (a simple store-bought blend of rice, potato and maize flour with no added xanthan gum)

¼ tsp xanthan gum

3 tbsp (20 g) cocoa powder

1 tsp baking powder

pinch of salt

Instructions

First, make the raspberry filling:

In a small saucepan, cook the raspberries on medium-high heat until they have released their juice and part of the liquid has evaporated.

Pass the raspberry mixture through a sieve to remove the seeds and skin.

Return the raspberry juice to the saucepan and cook further until it has decreased in volume to about ½ - ¾ cup.

Spread the raspberry reduction on a piece of aluminium foil (that should be placed on top of a freezer-safe tray or plate) so that you make an even layer ~3 mm thin.

Freeze it for at least ½ hour, or until frozen solid.

Pre-heat the oven to 355 ºF (180 ºC) and line two baking sheets with baking/greaseproof paper.

In a heat-proof bowl above a pot of simmering water, melt the chocolate and butter together. Once melted, set aside to cool slightly.

In a stand mixer (or using a hand mixer with the double beater attachment), beat the eggs and sugar together for 5 - 6 minutes, until pale, fluffy and greatly increased in volume.

Add the melted chocolate to the egg mixture, and mix briefly until the chocolate has been evenly incorporated.

Sift together gluten free flour, xanthan gum, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt, and add it to the mixer. Mix for 30 seconds to 1 minute, until all flour has been incorporated and no flour clumps remain. Scrape the sides and the bottom of the bowl with a spatula to ensure the cookie batter is an smooth as possible.

Using a cookie scoop (or an ice cream scoop, or even just a spoon), transfer ~1 - 2 tbsp of the cookie batter onto the lined baking sheet and spread it out slightly (into a circle about 2 inches (5 cm) wide and about ¼ - ½ inch (6 - 12 mm) tick).

Cut a piece of the frozen raspberry filling that’s about ½ inch smaller in diameter than the cookie batter “circle” you’ve just made, and place it in the middle of the cookie batter.

(You don’t have to cut the filling in a circle, a square or rectangle that’s smaller than the cookie batter “circle” work just as well.)

Place ~1 tbsp of the cookie batter on top of the filling, and smooth it out using a spoon so that it completely covers the filling.

Repeat with the rest of the cookie batter and raspberry filling. This recipe makes about 10 - 12 cookies.

Bake in the pre-heated oven at 355 ºF (180 ºC) for 12 minutes. The cookies should be slightly crackly on top, with a shiny crust. They will be soft when they come out of the oven, so leave them on the baking tray for about 1 minute before you transfer them to a cooling rack.

Enjoy!

These raspberry stuffed brownie cookies keep well in a closed container in a cool dry place for about 1 week.

(via deadliidev)

Millionaire shortbread recipe 😋

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I LOVE MY ALGEBRA TEACHER

So, the other day in math we had a sub and the sub was next year’s math teacher. Anyway the really annoying kids were messing around and while the teacher was explaining stuff on the white board one kid shouted out “DO YOU PLAY FORTNITE?”. And my teach stopped talking , turned around, looked the kid straight in the eyes , and said, “Yes”. We all died.