Sometimes All You Can Do Is Try. Even If You Succeed Or Not, Trying Is Already A Very Brave Thing To

Living with Chronic pain is so weird.

In every quiet moment there’s pain.

If some asks me how I am I usually say ‘fine’ or ‘good’ or ‘a bit tired’

because those are easier to say than ‘I’m in a lot of pain’ ‘I’m this close to passing out’ ‘if I move to quickly I will throw up’ 

and sometimes when people say ‘How are things going?’ 

I shrug and say ‘the usual’

and they assume that means everything’s fine because for them that is the usual

but for me the usual is pain.

The pain is more incredibly annoying than unbearable

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

I love spoon theory bc you can literally explain it exactly the same way it was originally explained, with actual spoons.

But also I feel like the failing phone battery is more accurate lately.

Like, you charge it all night, but it only slow charges. It never gets to full battery anymore.

When it says full battery, it doesn't mean the same as everyone else's, because it'll be gone twice as fast.

You have to limit your app usage bc of the battery drain, and even when you aren't doing anything the percentage is slowly going down.

Keeping it plugged in full time to charge means you can use your apps longer, but since it's slow charging it'll eventually reach 0 even when plugged in.

Keeping it plugged in full time also means the battery gets reliant on being constantly plugged in.

Actual percentages are a lie.

That shit will turn off with 5-10% battery still showing and there's nothing you can do about it.

Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.

It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.

You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.

You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.

You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence

You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.

You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.

You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.

You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.

Tldr:

Faking is a conscious choice.

You cannot do it by accident.

If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.

sweet femmes. femmes like sugar that melt under your touch. femmes with flesh to grope and squish and kiss and bite. femmes that wrap themselves in lace and ribbons like pretty presents. femmes that wear pink lipstick and leave kiss marks on your face. femmes that are soft like bunnies and cuddle all the time. femmes that smell like vanilla and marshmallows and sweet dreams. femmes who need hands on them at all times to feel good. femmes who whisper in your ear during functions and drag you home. femmes who wear lacy bras and tiny skirts and like parading in front of you. femmes who like being carried around, hands wrapped around your biceps. cute femmes. sweet femmes. just femmes.

I feel like this a lot lately, especially bc uni started again and I'm using a wheelchair now. The other day in anatomy class I was constantly apologising and being just my general awkward self. A friend of mine and fellow med student messaged me later to ask if I felt like I was in the way with my wheelchair and to remind me that I belong there just as much as anyone else🥺 so thankful for the few friends I have found in medschool who are genuinely kind and accepting when it comes to my disabilities.

I'm in medschool and I'm the only visibly disabled student in my semester. I'm not very social outside of classes so I can't be certain, but I'm fairly sure I'm the only visibly physically disabled med student in multiple years. I've heard about one other who is atleast 4 years ahead of me. So, in doing the math I can conclude that I'm 1 out of 2 visibly physically disabled med students out of roughly 3500 med students at my university.....

if you feel like you’re ‘getting in the way’ as a mobility aid user, particularly with larger aids like wheelchairs, rollators/walkers, gait trainers and service dogs, That Is A Fault Of The Space (and potentially the people), not of you. You deserve all the space you take up and more.

why the signs are happy:

Aries: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Taurus: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Gemini: australia voted to make gay marriage legal cancer: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Leo: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Virgo: australia voted to make gay marriage legal libra: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Scorpio: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Sagittarius: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Capricorn: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Aquarius: australia voted to make gay marriage legal Pisces: australia voted to make gay marriage legal