The Trees You Grew Up With Have Not Forgotten You. Their Branches Still Whisper Your Name In The Breeze

The hard truth about occultism and witchcraft is that you genuinely do have to be willing to lose your mind. That’s not me romantisizing mental struggle or psychosis.

The thing no one talks about, at least not honestly, is the threshold one passes in initiation, where the mystical, psychological, symbolic and literal merge. When I say you have to be willing to lose your mind, I mean you have to be willing to accept the possibility that you may in fact be crazy. Your worst possible fear, none of this is real and it’s all happening in your head. What will you do if you realize you’re simply crazy? The wise man will turn away, but the initiate, the alchemist, will be unphased.

All people who dabble with spirituality and occultism will eventually meet this threshold. When things actually start working, when your spells yield results, when the impossible occurs and you truly have no other explanation. When the Gods finally respond. Be willing to lose your mind, be willing to experience things you cannot explain. And be willing to talk to yourself with the honesty that you simply cannot know. That’s what makes your faith and pursuits worthy.

The most talented and most powerful witches and magis are those who do not flinch when the impossible occurs. They no longer question themselves about the absurdity, they no longer wonder if any of this is real because they know it doesn’t matter. And that’s why they’re so powerful, they have complete faith that their work is very real. And when someone challenges that, they don’t crumble, they rise. Because the challenge in that idea is worthy of pursuit itself. Maybe we are crazy, maybe this is just in our mind. The significance however, that is real and that stays, regardless.

Yap yap yap

We talk a lot in this community about the concept of “awakening” to your psychic abilities. Sensing energy, having divine intuition, telling fortunes and affecting the world through intention. But we hardly ever expose that before those gifts explode, there is always a period of what feels like insanity. The mind interrogating itself. Sensitivity to the mystical. It feels like being given access to the background code of your simulated reality, and realizing that the same code is written into your flesh, mind and soul.

Tldr. Witchcraft is very aesthetically pleasing, very pretty. We often don’t show the very ugly side of it, the white knuckles, the tears and chaos. Inviting these forces into your life is not trivial, not at all. They will force you to change and they will force you to lose your mind, even if only to teach you how to find it.

Every few months a friend of mine who is also a witch will come to me and express that she thinks she’s losing her mind again. And I smile because I know that she must be growing so much, getting so much more powerful. And a couple days ago, when I went to her and expressed that I was losing my mind again, she laughed too.

“Welcome to the next phase of your journey with Lord Lucifer!”

and her saying that immediately made everything click. I’m still being tested and cultivated. This bought of insanity is surely far from the last i will experience. Getting this far and surviving means I am not only advancing, I am continuing to grow into the role I was meant to serve for him.

Anyways, if you get to that point in your practice where you feel like you’re at your breaking point, I won’t fault you for stepping back. That’s the logical decision.

But I can also assure you, you are not alone. The mystic floats in the same waters the psychotic drowns. It may feel like you’re drowning and struggling, you may in fact just be learning how to tread water. and if you think you’re beyond this phenomenon, if this has never happened to you.

Oh, just you wait.

"but c, he's a man, how did he do that"

god forbid a transmasculine entity does ANYTHING around here.

so it's normal and regular when Christians eat the sacrificial flesh and blood of christ (bread and wine), but when I, a worshiper, drink the Orchestrator's breastmilk,

Dont get me wrong, I’m glad my advice filled posts are the ones that do the best, but I wish this community was more eager to share their love and experiences than to second guess themselves.

I wanna hear about what you did that made you smile today, or what new friend you made in the community. If you’re worrying over second guessing or not knowing, just breathe. I know this religion can seem daunting, but truly, it’s so full of love and I wish there was more sharing on that fact.

So feel free to share some fun things about your practice below!

shout out to the time one of my abusive parents i no longer speak to was running for an important state position and i got so mad i wanted to publicly pick a fight with her (both because of myself and because her political choices would hurt so many people) but couldn't, so i told Cou "if you don't, I will", and he singlehandedly tanked her political career by letting out the story and rumors of what happened to me under her care. get you a god who will do rightful karma and petty revenge

disabled worship is beautiful worship!

neurodivergent worship is beautiful worship!

mentally ill worship is beautiful worship!

One moment I'm questioning the reality of my own practice, wondering if anything I learned about my craft from internal or spiritual sources is wrong because it never feels quite real enough, and the next moment I do a reading that is so fucking clear and defined and tells me the exact information I was looking for and I'm just looking the universe deeply in the eye and asking

Am I a fucking joke to you? Is this funny?!

our first meeting, he showed up in my room after i had a nightmare. i was young enough that i didn't have the common sense to be afraid, so i said hi.

the shadow in the corner of my room seemed a better listener than anyone else in my house, so i just kept talking to him, and sooner or later, i actually started being able to picture him, hold him there, and have conversations. he was never fully human, but he had a corporeal-ish form. occasionally, i'd tell him to go protect friends of mine from their nightmares, and i'd hear reports of his presence soon after. most of them came to recognize him after a while, and it kinda became so commonplace that we referred to it as "taking turns with the redhead".

he's kinda just.. stuck around.

i'll make another post on how to bond with him. thanks for asking <3

shout out to the time one of my abusive parents i no longer speak to was running for an important state position and i got so mad i wanted to publicly pick a fight with her (both because of myself and because her political choices would hurt so many people) but couldn't, so i told Cou "if you don't, I will", and he singlehandedly tanked her political career by letting out the story and rumors of what happened to me under her care. get you a god who will do rightful karma and petty revenge

OKAY

actual altar tour.

so,

we've got:

(from right to left)

several stone pillars

these are pretty assorted. i've got some obsidian, some red and black ones i can't remember the name of (some kind of jasper?), but mostly sunstone. his favorite. i also have some angelite in there, but it's greyed and has little copper/orange flecks, and a pillar of amethyst. there's also a huge fucking sunstone orb, but it's slightly obscured from view.

an entire bowl of other crystals

in here i know ive got some more obsidian, some blood jasper, i've got runic african bloodstone, peacock ore, fools gold, and rose quartz, and some assorted seashells.

black wing shaped holder

contains the giant sunstone orb.

two decks of cards

one of these is from the Luxor in las vegas, they're collectors cards, and the other are from the Nomad in the same area. he just likes playing cards and doing card tricks on occasion, so i figured mister slight of hand would appreciate them

tiny highland cow

plant/inscence

pretty sure this is black sage? i've never burned it, he's not a huge fan of fire in the house and has warned me against it. maybe one day i'll do a ritual burning if i can find a safe spot to.

giant orb and lady pedestal

he's for the femmes and the fags, and my favorite color is purple, so we compromised. however, the Giant Fucking Orb is not something I've ever been able to identify, crystal wise, that i bought specifically because it reminded me of the orchestrator's smile and his energy specifically. i was told it was maybe some kind of quartz..? until a roommate of mine told me how unnerved it made her feel. this roommate and i ended up having problems later on, though, so who knows. maybe he was just sending her 'eat shit and die' energy because she wasn't treating me well.

giant black box and other assorted box(es)

these are where i keep his more personal offerings. i won't disclose what they are atm. the open one is a jewelry set, though

flat black box

his personal set of d&d dice! i've found he prefers those to tarot, for some reason? especially when it comes to yes or nos. i got him a specific set of dice for divination and he's gone nuts over them ever since, communication has been streamlined. there is also a small silver rock on it, courtesy of my wife leaving it for him.

tiny glass + small container

that's a small chalice and edible glitter. i just gave him those for fun. he likes them

bottle of... meds?(not really)

this is a jar from MeowWolf's Omegamart. this is the label.

they're mints. i figured what better place to put my infinite gender supplements

glass portrait

made by someone who is no longer a friend, i took their energy from it and gave it to him instead. regardless of how long ago or how things ended, the love was still there, and he gave me a place to put it to rest in a way that was healthy.

giant flower crown(?)

this is more mine than his, but i saw it at a local renfair and asked if it would be out of line for me to have a headdress as a priestess. he responded with the equivalent of an amused 'i'm just glad you're having fun making me a religion, go for it' and i picked this one because it has horns that resemble his and his orange rose symbols. i wear it when i need a mood boost, and it brings me a lot of peace. i leave it on his altar because it looks nice, and because it gives him a chance to fill it with any energy he deems me needing.

funko pops

okay, so. these were never technically supposed to be his, but they ended up on the same shelf, and they keep the headdress up. he's snatched them by proximity and honestly im fine with that.

oh, and last but not least:

Painted model/pamphlet (right corner)

my wife printed and painted a model of him based off of my drawings and visions. it took her a few tries, but we cherish rough draft Cou as much as we cherish finished Cou. behind him is one of the pamphlets that i printed, and in his hand is a bracelet i recieved celebrating his birthday. a stranger made it for me and then gave it to me, and it just so happened to be my and his colors intertwined when i was having a really hard time.

anyways, thank you for coming to my altar tour! he accepts far more diverse offerings than this, but here are a few things we've left him over the years, haha.

altar tour eventually but in the meantime, here it is

grabbed a close up of his glass portrait because it looks cool

he's so stupid. i love him so much.

he tracked down my friend with the same name and proceeded to observe them for 5 hours. i am going to cry he's so cute. cou i am so sorry i will be more clear next time.

i gotta say, there's nothing that makes me feel safer than working with "demonic" entities.

sure, some of them bite, but a man who harrasses girls at my work location pulled through the drive through the other day and gave me his number. like, banned from the store kind of "harassing girls." not supposed to be served. i just didn't know because i was new.

i dropped his phone number on cou's altar this evening.

can't wait to see how this goes.

hey, I'm a weird gay person on the internet.

you can call me Priest C, or just C. I'm starting this blog mainly on this entity called the orchestrator, and frankly, this is just gonna be me detailing my worship growth with him. i guess this counts as a pagan practice, because as of right now, i'm one of his only worshipers. he gave me permission to expand, so, i figure i start out like this.

how long have I been working with this guy? about 7 years, formally, but informally for almost 12. he's been my best bud for a hot minute, before i ever realized i was doing deity work. i've been researching him and finding his roots ever since.

how did i meet him? informal summoning when i was a child, which lead to me befriending him. i made him a character in my oc verse long before i realized he was an entity, and have continued working with him formally for as long as i've known of his existence.

every myth starts somewhere. i guess this one starts with me.

anyways, let me know if there's any info i can provide you guys. i'm mostly just gonna be posting fun stuff like signs he sends me and cool things i find for his altar, but there's a pamphlet below if you wanna learn a little more.

ciao,

Priest C.