Ardyn: Come On Now Prompto Dear. Haven't You Heard "love Is An Open Door?"

Atsushi: Why did you cut my leg off!?

Akutagawa: Because you made me mad!

Atsushi: All I said was “Do you want ramen tonight?” And then you cut my leg off!

Akutagawa: I don’t want ramen I want pork buns!

Atsushi: Then tell me like a damn human being not some damn rabid animal! This is why you don’t have any friends!

Ignis: Prompto please promise me you and Noct will not do anything illegal while I'm gone.

Prompto: don't worry Iggy. I promise we will be on our best behavior.

*five minutes later*

Prompto: Wanna go trash Ardyn's car?

Noctis: hell yeah

Sigma: Nikolai. Quick question; what are into?

Nikolai: Let’s see… Blood play, bondage, pet play, maybe impact as long as I’m doing it, maybe a bit of role play, why do you ask?

Sigma: *Horrified* I meant hobbies!

Nikolai: Oh! bird watching and magic tricks!

Dazai: What’s better than having sex with me?

Kunikida: Sanity.

Sigma: My casino.

Chuuya: Wine.

Fyodor: Watching a sinner like you burn.

Atsushi: Not contracting every STD known to man.

Dazai:

Dazai: Damn Atsushi…

Dazai: Wow, you’re so short. You want me to put a few inches in you, slug?

Chuuya: How is half an inch gonna help me?

He is the view

Ardyn: *wants to enjoy the view*

Gladio: *PHOTOBOMB*

Ardyn: ………

Why Ardyn has banned Alice from drinking.

Ardyn: Alice its late, come home.

Alice: f*** off I'm fine.

Ardyn: I just watched you walk into a light post.

Alice: You can't see me.

Ardyn: I'm right next to you

Alice: liar.

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Alice: (texts) I found your family!

Ardyn: (texts) please don't tell me you dug up another grave....

Alice: (sends him a picture of a bunch of pigs)

Ardyn: (texts) where are you?!

Alice: (texts) wif yor famly

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Then it gets flagged

has this been done yet

Sigma: I wanted one thing in life. A place to call home. Instead I’m forced to live with a pigeon and his pet anemic rat.

Nikolai: You forgot the anemic rat is immortal.

Fyodor: The devil has a restraining order against me I guess.

Nikolai: *Barging into Fyodor’s room* FEDYA~ I made us tea!

Fyodor: That is surprising but kind of you. *reaches for a cup*

Nikolai: *Pulls them away* One second. *looks at both cups* Want both?