Today's Sigma: Got Punted :(

Noctis: I killed someone!

Prompto: What?! Noct that's illegal! We have to run away!

Gladio: if anyone asks we just tell them the empire made a clone of Noct and framed him.

Ignis: *pulls out a map with a bunch of red circles* We can dump the body here. No one will know. Leave the evidence to me I've done this before.

Noctis: .....

Prompto: *whispers to Noctis* I think Iggy has killed other people....

Cat week, day 3, Leash cats, Headcanons

As mentioned on day one, the following cats are used to walking on a leash. Now here is how they behave while walking outside. (I didn’t mention Ardyn as a leash cat but, can any of you imagine him in a tiny box not making a fuss?)

Cor - Cor goes on a leash because he broke two boxes already - And the vet told you to get a leash for him after he broke theirs - He was easy to get used to the leash - Likes the freedom to walk and not suffer in the little space - Looks out the window during car rides - If necessary, he’s even chill with trains - But only if the train is there while you arrive - He gets startled half to death because trains tend to squeak when coming to a halt - You found out when you had to take him somewhere and your cat spontaneously clawed its way up to your shoulder - He’s well-behaved on a leash - But no touching

Luna - First of all, she hurt herself inside boxes - Every time she got out of the box, she was hurt - So, again, the vet said to get her a leash - It’s a neat white leash with little accessories no one cares about - Besides the catastrophe that is catching her, she is actually a well-behaved cat - She doesn’t struggle, won’t try to bite the leash - She got used to it pretty fast - Though she still isn’t fond of it - Yes she walks beside you and occasionally allows little kids to pet her, but that’s just to distract you from the thought of having to catch her again for her next vet appointment

Prompto - Little goofball doesn’t like boxes because he can’t touch you while trapped - The leash is his favorite - He’s got a yellow one with some sort of duck printed on - Prompto actually wants to go outside with you - He’ll meow sitting in front of the shelf with the leash - Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know he can go outside without you - Or because he just wants to spend time with you alone - But Prompto is the most excited about his leash - Because he knows you’ll be close to him - He’s the vet’s favorite - Never makes a fuss - Brave little kitten - Though he did puke onto them that one time

Gladio - He didn’t want to stay in the transportation box - Honestly, he needed one for dogs because of his height - Gladiolus is, well, Gladiolus - He doesn’t do tiny spaces - But put a leash on him and he’s the boss - He tries pulling into directions he wants to go - Don’t bring him to public transportation - Yes, he will get lots of attention - But you won’t want to get pulled over to every kid he finds worthy - Worthy of petting him - He’s a brat

Ignis - If he isn’t sick, he’s walking on his leash - Not saying that Ignis is trying to troll you - Just saying he will randomly climb up a tree - Or lay down so you’ll stop - Ignis is a nice cat - But he also likes to tease you - He is okay with kids touching his head - But nothing else - Get ready for him going nuts when he smells food - Ignis loves food - And he will do everything to see what smells so nice - The vet hates his eating habits - So does your bank account

Noctis - Noctis doesn’t walk on a leash - He’s carried around wearing one - Walking simply isn’t his style - And he hated his box so much he found, and broke it in the middle of the night - Twice - To be fair, he is absolutely calm when you carry him - Or when he’s on the passenger seat - Getting used to the leash wasn’t a problem - But getting used to not being carried around after a trip outside, certainly was

Ardyn - IF you were able to get him on the leash you’re lucky - He won’t make a fuss about it - In fact, he’ll gladly walk next to you - Or watch you drive - He doesn’t have a problem with public transport - Neither does he have a problem with all the attention he gets - He seems to shower in it - All the comments saying how beautiful he is - He’ll even raise his head a little - And meow at certain people - Doesn’t like to be touched though - This cat is such an actor it sometimes hurts

Nero: Ver- I Mean dad I got you a gift for Christmas.

Vergil: *surprised that Nero actually got him something.* what is it-

Nero: *stabs Vergil with blue rose* MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!

Fyodor: Do you have anything to say Sigma?

Sigma: Hamsters are better than rats.

Nikolai: *gasp*

Fyodor: Take that back or you’re getting shot again.

Ais: *cornering Kira* I plan on making you scream

Kira: *panicking remembering the other night* As in kill me or have sex with me?

Vere: whatever makes him cum faster

Diana: I need an adult

A Man of No Consequence

Anyone: *shows Vergil any type of affection*

Vergil:

Dante: Vergil! We have a problem!

Vergil: I know, I’m looking at it.

Kuras: *lecturing Mhin and Mc trying to break into the Senobium* You two are going to die if you keep this up

Mc: *not skipping a beat* we’re all gonna die into 60 years or so.

Dante: Oh vergil! I’m both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your brother by coming in anyways! *breaks the door down riding Cavaliere*

Vergil: It was unlockced you fool!