Ouch It's Been A Life Since The Last Post Here, But Luckily I'm Finally Free From Exams So I'll Try To

* brighton rock prompts

brighton rock is a novel by graham greene. tw: suicide, murder, death. 

‘ it broke my heart. ’

‘ you think about it and you dream about it. ’

‘ this is my home. ’

‘ go on. eat.’

‘ give me a gun. ’

‘ take it or leave it. ’

‘ chocolates? ’

‘ help yourself, kid, if you’re hungry. ’ 

‘ meaning who? ’ 

‘ i’m all right. hungry. that’s all.’

‘ have you seen a doctor? ’

‘ you’re sick. ’

‘ i’ve got a headache. ’

‘ why don’t you leave me alone? ’

‘ i’m scared for you. ’

‘ we can talk there. ’

‘ i’m not sick. ’ 

‘ you call it being alone? ’

‘ why did they do it? ’

‘ i wish i’d killed myself. ’

‘ you want to lie down a bit and rest. ’

‘ wherever you go, i’ll go too. ’

‘ and if i don’t want to live… ’ 

‘ nobody asked questions. ’

‘ and how do you live now? ’

‘ that’s murder, too. ’   

‘ you look awful. ’  

‘ i want to lie down alone. ’  

‘ do they have sundaes? ’ 

‘ i know a good place. ’ 

‘ you better be. ’

‘ well, we’ll be safe now. ’ 

‘ mind if i sit down? ’        

‘ you wrote it, didn’t you. ’

‘ got a friend? ’

‘ you’ve got guts, haven’t you? ’ 

‘ give me time. ’

‘ why should that poor kid want to die? ’   

‘ you don’t want to leave me, do you? ’

‘ it sounds crazy. ’

‘ like we always was. ’

‘ i don’t know. i didn’t sleep last night.’

‘ i’ll go. i’m not scared. ’

‘ what are we going to do? ’

‘ i wanted some fresh air. ’ 

‘ that’s nothing. ’

‘ they’re all i’ve got. ’

‘ you’re all right. ’

‘ why, that’s a nice speech. ’

‘ i wouldn’t trust myself. ’ 

‘ what more can you do? ’

‘ it’s urgent. ’ 

‘ just wait awhile. ’

‘ i’ve got my friends. ’

‘ it’s dangerous. ’ 

‘ i’m going to die. i’m scared. ’ 

‘ but why? ’

‘ sometimes. ’

‘ i don’t want any trouble. ’

‘ we got scared for nothing. ’

‘ celebrate what? ’

‘ i know what love is. ’ 

‘ got the time? ’  

‘ come outside. ’

‘ i don’t smoke. ’

‘ a cheery soul. ’ 

‘ you’re too old for this life. ’ 

‘ don’t talk so much. ’

‘ you can’t miss it, can you? ’

grimesucker·.

❝I don’t think you’re as apathetic as you think you are.❞ // @kienokoru·

                                                           just SCREAMS when fifteen tries to bring it up—

@grimesucker​ sent:  his OD had PINGED the notification , allowing him some time to PREPARE---...still, something feels INAPPROPRIATE about this , in how he presents a BOTTLE of SEWER WATER with a BOW around the neck ; look , he doesn't have a lot of EXPERIENCE in buying presents, & alcohol always seems like a good idea. ...& if not , well , he's got some solid itch brownies as back-up. "hey, fifteen - happy birthday."

 belated birthday wishes

  surprised by the bottle thrust in his direction, shiro is LOST, glancing between it and the man holding it with a questioning quirk in his brow. expression softens, however, when explanation comes in the form of dox wishing him a happy birthday. huh, he didn’t really think the mender was one to keep track of that sort of thing.

     “ thanks, dox. ”  accepting the sewer water, despite it not being the sort of thing he’d ask for or even purchase for himself. it’s a gift, and one from DOX for that matter, so he appreciates it regardless. it’s the THOUGHT that counts, and dox cared enough to think of him on his birthday and buy him a present. smiling, the boy holds the bottle in both hands, the one of metal clinking against the glass, and gives it a GLANCE OVER. the bow is a cute touch.

raising his head again, shiro nods toward the kitchen and raises his eyebrows at dox.

     “ why don’t we share this? ”

ALRIGHT. in between some gaming and a quick outing i’ve been working on a new theme. most of my day went in to it and i think it’s OFFICIALLY FINISHED. thank god lmfao

that said, i’m really pleased with the results? :’>

ever want to just slash at your arm or some part of yourself bc killing yourself isn’t an option but you fucking need to do something?

my arms already have reasonably fresh scars from the last month or two and i just!!!! idk!!!! i can’t sleep today away too, so!!!!

A Shiro sketch because I had to :’)

WITCH AU.

born a rare space witch, shiro spent the first many years of his life learning and developing his magic & potential. even after the passing of his mother put him in an orphanage at the age of 11, he kept practicing, knowing it would have been what she’d wanted. 

while out searching for some herbs for a particular ritual one evening, shiro found himself distracted as he listened to the planets & the stars - and most importantly, the full moon. lost in the sounds of the universe, he was unsuspectingly attacked by a couple of werewolves. the scene was gruesome; blood was everywhere as he was tugged at from either side by the both of them, as they clawed and bit, and attempted to drag him off. at some point during the horror, the boy fell unconscious in combination from shock and blood loss, thus he was unable to witness the beasts being scared off by an unknown entity, leaving him behind in a limp, bleeding heap.

when consciousness found him again, shiro was in an unfamiliar home rather than the dark woods. he was cleaned up, and many of his wounds had been healed to some degree. he had been found in the middle of the night by the earth shaman dox, who had brought him back to his cabin and taken care of him. though nothing could be done to bring back the arm which had been lost during the moments he was the rope in a game of tug o’ war between two giant wolves, dox had been able to heal all of his wounds at least to the point that they were no longer bleeding. over many days, he would be able to continue to heal the injuries until they were nothing but scars.

while initially he stays with the shaman simply to heal, dox invites him to stay rather than return to the orphanage. already at an age where they were bound to kick him out to live on his own at any point anyway, being seventeen, it’s all the more reason to accept. it also feels safer to him to keep himself in the middle of the woods, near as few people as possible, now that he’s been passed the curse of those who attacked him.

thus, shiro joins dox in a semi-hermit lifestyle, assisting the shaman in his work and coming to terms with his new state of being. the curse of a werewolf suppresses the magic of a witch bitten, so shiro has lost access to everything he’s spent so much of his life developing and skills that he would use regularly. with time, he becomes more well-adjusted to things. he comes to like most aspects of his life with dox, and learns a great deal from him - even begins to slowly regain some of his own magic with his help.

@grimesucker​ sent:  it's a MESS of a cake , too many layers that now threaten to TOPPLE---it's PRETTY otherwise aside from unsteady foundation , all fluffy cream & fresh fruits ; atop sit candles, a HAZARD in how they're alight, but dox doesn't seem CONCERNED about it---"c'mon, make a wish n' blow it out!" // think sleeping beauty cake..... shaman verse ??????

  belated birthday wishes

     “ oh my god. ”

  shiro LAUGHS at the sight of the cake, unable to help himself. it looks like it’s barely staying balanced and it might light the whole cottage  ( which is ALL WOOD, by the way )  on fire if they aren’t careful. he suspects there’s some magic at work to prevent this, but still.

     “ this is the most RIDICULOUS cake i’ve ever seen. and also the most amazing. ”

laughter still marks his voice, but now it’s more bewilderment than amusement. no one’s ever made him ANYTHING like this for his birthday; how long did dox spend baking this and topping it? clearly so much work has been put into it and, for some reason, it’s all been done for HIM. it’s... maybe it’s silly, but it makes emotions of all sorts pile into his chest.

watching the flickering lights of the candles atop the CAKE MOUNTAIN, he takes a moment to think. make a wish? there’s nothing he needs to wish for, everything is already good  ---  he’s HAPPY, even if there are still some struggles he’s working though, and he wouldn’t change a thing about his life the way it is now.

i want things to stay like this, he thinks to himself, stepping up to the cake. breath drawn, the candles are all blown out in one go and shiro still has a BROAD smile on his face as he leans back, gaze turning to dox.

     “ you really didn’t have to go to this much trouble. ...but since you did, i think we should have a couple of big slices RIGHT NOW. ”

hope — my writing