Avengers As Stupid Shit My Friends Have Said

The spider that bit Peter Parker’s was from a cross-species genetics lab right? Think of the possibilities for fanfiction and headcanons.

P.S. I’m starting an au oneshot book about this. It doesn’t exist yet though. It will be on Wattpad because I can’t find my drafts on Tumblr ever. @adopted_by_hestia is the account

Responding to a kidnapping attempt part 2:

Vision

Scott

Shuri

T’challa

Rhodey

If I’m missing someone tell me and part 3 is probably going to be the guardians reacting

The problem is Gray never knows where his clothes are

Juvia: Juvia is cold.

Gray: Here have my jacket.

Lucy: I'm cold.

Natsu: Want me to set you on fire?

Loki at Midtown Tech: I have come to kidnap my adopted gremlin friend

Office Lady: I’m not sure who you mean. Would you like to ask over the PA system?

Loki: I would love too.

Loki into the mic: Hey gremlin, we’re gonna fight a god and kick his ass. And then we’re gonna cause mischief with the vent bird

Meanwhile in Peter’s classroom

Teacher: Well that was weird. Probably someone playing a prank...Peter, why are you getting up?

Peter: I’m gonna fight a god, kick ass and cause mischief with the vent bird. It helps a snake and spider de-stress.

Teacher: You know what? I don’t care anymore. “Fight a god” as long as you get your work done.

Ned after a moment: snake... snake... Wait, does that mean that was Loki?!

Scott: Don't you just hate that situation when you're picking up your bags from the airport, and everyone's luggage is better than yours?

Peter: A worst-case scenario

Tony: Sorry can’t relate

Sam: That’s because you’re in the best-case scenario

Pepper

No one else does anything on the same level as Pepper fucking Potts

who did it best tho 😂

Loki (currently female): I like my men how I like my emotions

Thor: ...how?

Loki with a grin: Buried deep inside me

Thor: *sighs* I really should have seen that coming

Loki: Mental illnesses are like Pokémon cards.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I collect them for fun.

MJ: Hey losers. Give me an honest answer on how much you hate Flash.

Peter: It cannot be represented by mortal means

Ned: I-

MJ:...That’s fair

Reblog if you are bisexual, pansexual, or asexual, if you support bisexuals, pansexuals, and asexuals, or

There’s no third, funny option, just the first two because it’s good to just support people because they deserve support.