GREY.
GREY.
How the worlds gone grey,
all the colors left.
I hear that you’re ok.
Don’t you have any regrets?
All the struggles,
All the pain,
All the time I wasn’t ok.
All the years,
All the hurt,
All the times I wished I wasn’t yours.
I stopped going to therapy,
not because I thought I’d manage;
I didn’t go because it’s not fair,
For me to pay the repairs of your damage.
You got off Scott-free,
and I’m not at all shocked,
but I know it’s not me…
It was you who caused,
This slow motion car crash.
All these years later, I still have
the bruises and the whiplash,
but you don’t have a scratch.
I replay it frame by frame,
Incinerated in my brain,
So I could forever torture myself
Asking myself again,
What did I do wrong?
Was it me?
Did I ask too much?
What did you need?
What could I have done,
differently?
Or even worse,
was it you and not me?
LOVE, DEAR ABBY
More Posts from Lovedearabby and Others
WAR.
Three rotations around the sun,
and sometimes I’m still not over it,
I know the war is what I won,
But those battle plans just won’t quit.
I dug many trenches back when fighting,
years later, they aren’t filled,
‘Should I’ve done things different?’ Keeps me awake,
With sleep deprivation, I’m skilled.
I think of who I might have been if you hadn’t happened,
But if not, I wouldn’t have met that man, I wouldn’t have stole his hat and,
Put it on; “combat vet” it read right on brim,
The two of us weren’t so different, we both had wars we tried to win.
But that’s the thing about going to war:
even if you come out on ‘top’,
The ghosts you met will follow you,
The haunting will never stop.
But there’s something nice meeting a veteran,
Literal or not,
He’ll support you unconditionally,
your back he’s always got
And so I bought him flowers,
A simple thought that crossed my mind,
I’ll never forget that smile
When he revealed it was the first time,
That someone gave him something
for his service, not anyone,
The thing is, he’s got no idea
how much for me he’s done.
LOVE, DEAR ABBY
“without your looming shadow, i can finally shine.”
- abby
I want a relationship where they don’t just scratch my back, but massage and draw on it softly giving me tingles as I fall asleep.
“i dream for the day you give me your heart, because i will hold it closer than i hold my own.”
- abby
I look back now and know that younger me is so proud
For so long I only cried tears of sadness, that it feels magical to shed tears of joy.
“I miss the person I used to be when I had you.”
Closing the chapter with someone doesn’t make you cruel; it simply means they aren’t a part of the next one.
“He left me the way he always had: disappointed, but not surprised.”
LOVE, DEAR ABBY
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