Oh My God Y’all In Honor Of Christmas Why Don’t We Just Collectively Imagine Our Deer James Turning

Sirius: *has a bad idea*

Sirius: I have a great idea.

"Hey, where's Remus?" asked Alice. "I haven't seen him lately."

"He's on his time of the month," Sirius snickered.

"Wait, what?"

"I was just kidding," Sirius said with a small smile. "He's a werewolf."

"Very funny, Black," Alice said, rolling her eyes. "I'm just going to go find Frank."

"Wow, that actually worked!" Sirius said in amazement, watching Alice's retreating figure idly. "I told them the truth so they wouldn't know the truth. Sirius Black, you are a genius."

The Story Of How Lily Evans Asked James Potter Out

Lily Evans was mad. She was very, very mad.

Why was she so mad, one may ask? Well, she was mad because of one sole thing. Or person, to be specific. And who was the unlucky person who was to endure her targeted wrath?

James Potter, of course.

She hated him. Absolutely hated him. From everything to his unnaturally sharp jawline to his stupid grin that made her go weak at the knees and the way he always absentmindedly chewed on his quill when he was deep in thought and his freaking Quidditch body (because, of course, he just had to have bloody perfect abs). She absolutely detested the fact that he was admired by all the first years and that he was so good at Quidditch and that he passed Transfiguration with ease. She hated that he was several inches taller than her, so that if they ever were to kiss (not that she would EVER fantasize about that, mind) she would have to stand on her tiptoes and he would have to bend down, letting his hands wander all over her in the process...

In short, she loved him.

Literally all her friends insisted this was coming, which wasn't encouraging, to say the least. How could Lily not fall for him, they all said, when the two were forced to spend time with each other in such close proximities? And since they were both Head Students, and literally lived together in their own private dormitory, it seemed to everyone else that any romance between them was, to put it lightly, inevitable.

The truthfulness of it all drove Lily absolutely mad.

But for some reason, she couldn't seem to get herself to completely care.

Because when she looked at him, or spent time with him for extended periods of time, she found it quite hard to be mad at him. It was so much easier to hate the idea of him and his perfect self than to actually hate him.

Marlene gave her no better advice for her predicament than "Ask Potter out."

So Lily, on a spur-of-the-moment decision (and a vivacious streak of pride) agreed. After all, Potter had constantly been asking her out since 5th year. Why couldn't she ask him instead?

So, mustering all of the bravery she could, Lily marched onto the Quidditch field one evening, determined to make Potter realize that she was exremely enamored with him once and for all. Quidditch practice had just ended, but James was still flying around on his broom by himself, diving and swooping in the evening air. Lily smiled, despite the nervousness bubbling up in her at what she was about to do. Walking closer, toward the edge of the pitch, she cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "Oi, James!"

James swopped down toward her, grinning and waving. Lily could feel her own grin grow wider. Merlin, this boy...

He stopped in front of her, still on his broom, dangling a few feet in the air above her. He opened his mouth to say something, but Lily beat him to the chase. It's now or never. "James Potter," she said, forcefully, willing bravery to come to her aid, "will you go out with me?"

There were many possible reactions to her question Lily had imagined. A grin and a yes, maybe. Or (and these were the ones that scared her the most) abhorrent 'no's'. The best possible scenario involved kissing, hugging, and lots of smiles and a definite 'yes.'

What Lily did not expect was for James to faint and fall of his broom.

One moment he was hovering in front of her on his broom, completely motionless, and the next thing she knew, she was watching her crush topple unceremoniously off a twig and fall onto the ground.

Luckily the fall was only a few feet, but still.

"James!" Lily yelped, covering her mouth with her hands. "Oh my God! Are you - oh my God!"

James slowly stirred on the ground, and Lily felt immense relief. Throwing all caution to the wind, she wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her head into his chest. "Oh thank Merlin-"

"Uh, Lily?" James said thickly. "I may be imagining things, but-" he turned red "-did you a-ask me out?"

"I did ask you out, you tosser," Lily laughed. She poked him in the chest. "And you didn't give me an answer..."

"Wait, this isn't a dream, right?"

"No," Lily giggled. "Not a dream."

"Hmmm...." James teased, sitting up. "I'll have to check my calendar..."

"James!"

"All right," James said, grinning down at her. "I will certainly go out with you, Evans." He wrapped an arm around her waist and added smirkingly, "Although I am left to wonder what exactly changed your mind about me. Was it my muscular body? My wits? My humility?"

"All of them," Lily whispered up at him. And before she knew what she was doing, she kissed him shyly, her eyes closed, underneath the cover of the approaching twilight. She pulled back, blushing, not sure what to expect.

And that was when she realized that James had fainted again.

--

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https://archiveofourown.org/users/VenusDeMil0/

Probably every single class that James & Sirius had together

Professor: Let's copy down notes on practical charms

then.

*Sirius & James whisper arguing*

Professor: Boys, why can I hear you talking?

Sirius: Uh... Because you have ears?

Professor: And why are you talking during my class?

James: Well, why are you teaching during our

conversation?

Professor: Detention, both of you

James: Oh deer

Sirius: This place has gone to the dogs

*muffled giggles of the Marauders*

The Marauders going through wedding photos

*picture of james and lily*

James: So this is me and my wife

*picture of james and sirius*

Remus: This is James and his other wife

*picture of james and his broom*

Lily: And this is James and his other other wife

peter pettigrew

remus lupin, you sassy creature

Ah yes…October…a time for bonfires, cozy sweaters, Hocus Pocus, carving pumpkins & wearing black to mourn the premature deaths of James and Lily Potter

Lily rejected James. Again.

In Heaven (or wherever the hell the Marauders went)

Sirius: You know, it's funny. Your ancestor helped create fundamental healing potions and your father invented a popular hair potion. What did you create?

James: The savior of the Wizarding World.