Dear Men Writers

The fact that nobody is talking about Secret’s new commercials pisses me off

oh gods it was parents evening again tonight..

other parents: how did you do that?

Me:do what?

Other parents: your teenager is eating a salad..

Me:i never forced him eat, now he will pretty much eat anything…except chicken casserole which we both agree is gross

Other parents:we don’t get it.

Me: our only rules are bed at eleven on a school night and don’t hack any important government agencies.

Other parents: you don’t restrict screen time?

Me: you know 95% of kids will self regulate, given the chance?

Other parents: thats not true

Me: have you tried it?

other parents:…but, now he’s reading 1984

Me: he has had a university reading level since he was 12, what am i going to do censor his reading material?

other Parents: what if he reads something you don’t approve of..

Me: i fail to see your reasoning…

Me: you know he cooks too..it’s our mother/son time, we talk about his friends…

other Parents: he talks??

gay culture is oversharing and bottling ur emotions up at the same time

my mom asked why i don’t read as many books as i used to and i just said it was because i read a lot of unpublished stories from independent writers online and she thinks that’s very good of me to give undiscovered authors a chance

hahaha

i just read gay porn

I had a nightmare last night.

I was a reporter.

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.

Iconic.

This picture is Fox News’ worst nightmare

Polished Malachite Stalactite - Copper Crescent, Congo