I Hate My Life Rn

Is Blitzo and Stolas' song and noone can convince me otherwise.

"Two lovers entwine pass me by,"

"And heaven knows I'm miserable now."

"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour,"

"But heaven knows I'm miserable now."

Apple-Tinted Cheeks

Lucifer Magne x Afab! Reader≈ ` °

CW: Smut, use of strap, therefore afab!reader, Sub!Luci, Dom!reader, markings, darcryphilia, blood, use of master, no pronouns used, aftercare, begging, degredation, please inform me if I missed any!♡

Whimpers erupt from underneath your fast-moving frame as his eyeshadow runs down his apple-tinted cheeks, the makeup mixing with his oh so pretty tears, dropping onto the previously while pillow beneath him.

His backside is high in the air, his flushed, wet face stuffed into the soaked pillow beneath him, your strap relentlessly pounding into him. You hold his black wrists, pulling his ass irresistibly close to you, your hips hitting his already red backside while the pink, plastic cock stretches him out in a loving, perhaps, display of dominance and care.

"Oh- Ah! Hurts so- mmng- good, Master!" He keens pathetically, lustfully, his hands clawing into your own wrists while you keep your iron grip on his, refusing to let go even as blood trickles from his claws. You continue your brutal pace of punding into him, his own cock agonisingly hard against his stomach, cum already dripping down it and onto his plush pillow from his previous release, only mere minutes ago despite the fluttering feeling re-entering his stomach.

"Oh, I know, doing so, so well for me~" You slur seductively, leaning down so your bare chest is flush with his sweaty back. You lean down further, licking the bruises and crimson marking left on his porcelain skin. This was perfect. The King of Hell himself whimpering under you in a puddle of pillows and tears, his red ass claimed by your lust and your strap. The only thing that would make this better would be to have a clear view of his face, not having to wonder whether his tears made it look as ruined as his petite body.

"Slo- oh- ow down! Please! Ah!" He calls in a unbridled state of subspace, inching closer to the edge, his finish, with every swift thrist of the plastic cock, but he deserved this. After all, it was him who couldn't help himself from kissing your neck, who couldn't help himself from arching into your touch all day, teasing you while knowing you couldn't do jack shit. He knew what he was doing, ergo, this was a fit punishment.

"Do you not think you deserve this? After all you've done today, filthy slut." You degrade him, pushing his back even further down, getting an impossibility increadable angle to thrust into him, while also getting an increase in whines and gargled pleas. You could see the eyeshadow stains on the pillow, you could see his red ass, the scratches on his back, the bites and bruises on his shoulder and inner thighs. You saw everything, how ruined he was, and the fact that you caused this? Wow.

"No! I've- mmng- I've been go- od, ma- ah- ster!" He croaks out from the pillow, his voice nearly as ruined and used as his small body from copious amounts of moaning and screaming. It was hard to believe he truly thought he was good, by how bad and desperate he was acting lately, but something about the way he oleaded with you, begged you to believe he had no malice behind those pretty words, made you believe him.

You have no reply, simply watching in a state of pay per view as you absentmindedly ram your plastic cock into his gaping ass, his backside desperately trying to arch back and hump the silicone genital. His breath picked up substantially as you release his wrists, watching him immidietly sink his black claws into the sheets of the bed, ripping them in lustful ignorance. A pool of not only tears, but cum soon builds under him from his last release, only preparing him for the next release.

"Do you- do you deserve to cum?" You breathe out finally, your vision becoming hazy with heat and fatigue, the musk and warmth of sex lingering in the master bedroom. The bed rocked with each increasingly lazy thrust, Lucifer beginning to arch into the strap even more to keep the pleasure at it's highest, pushing his face into his pillow before turning to to the side, looking at you from the corner of his eye while you observe one half of his ruined face.

"Mmng! Yes! Plea- ah- se! Let me cum, Master!" He practically screeches, keening at your hips coming into contact with his backside, eyes rolling into the back of his head, despite you hardly doing anything anymore. Oh, how much he loved your approval. He'd rut into your leg, finishing on your boot and licking off his own cum as long as you permitted him to, the high and mighty King of Hell falling once more, now, into your clutch.

You simply nod at him, immidietly hearing him scream out 'master' as he finishes for a final time, his body falling limp.ahainst the leg and yours following soon.

Panting slightly, you get up, pulling out of him and shushing him gently as he let's out a whine over oversrimulation. You take off the strap, throwing it somewhere in the pongy room before leaning down once again, trailing kisses from Luci's cheek all the way down to his stomach, hearing him chuckle weakly.

"So, so good for me, baby.." You murmur against his sweaty chest, rubbing his back while slowly flipping him over.

"Shower?" You ask, to which he meekly shakes his head. Sighing, you reach down to the side of the bed, picking up a random discarded piece of clothing and wiping off his stomach and thighs, kissing the rosy apples of his cheeks gently with each wipe. He quickly falls asleep, mumbling something about 'goodnight, darling' before he does, leaving your grip and falling into the just as gentle arms of sleep, smiling as he dreams of you.

• . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° • . . • ° ° •

RUFF RUFF, ARRSHDJDJWNF

brain rot♡

Alfred: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I believe.

Dick: I lost Damian.

Y/N: How did you LOSE Damian?!

Dick: To be fair, he is very small.

Bruce: Did you have to stab them?

Jason: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me.

Bruce: What did they say?

Jason: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Bruce: That’s fair.

Y/N: *screaming while holding something large.*

Dick: *Chasing Y/N, screaming at them to not throw the large object.*

Jason: *Crouching at the car window, begging Damian not to call Bruce.*

Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergancy?

Tim: We locked our baby brother in the car and people are judging us!

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Jason: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Tim: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Y/N: if you want information it is

Dick: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Jason: What are you talking about Dick? You love it here!

Dick: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Damian: You need to be more careful!

Bruce, who was dragged into Damian's issue: Careful? CAREFUL?! I'LL CAREFULLY WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT-

Damian: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.

Y/N: Those are bones, Damian.

Damian: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.

Bruce: Yeah, I find it quite emotional. In like a cool way.

Alfred: Sir, did you just say it makes you cry in a cool way?

Damian: But what about Y/N?

Jason: Don't worry about them.

Jason: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Tim: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Y/N: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Y/N: I just choose to ignore it.

*Playing house with Damian and Jon.*

Jason, at Jon: You're my significant other.

Jon: Yeah I am!

Jason, at Dick: You're my child.

Dick: *Rolls eyes* Yes boss.

Jason, at Tim: You're my bitch.

Tim: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Jason, at Y/N: My bestie.

Y/N: Naturally.

Jason, Damian: HA, GAY!

Damian: Fuck you.

Alfred: And then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Bruce: You mean you stabbed them?

Alfred: They ran into my knife, sir.

Bruce: Breaking News, Dick has disappointed us.

Tim: Why do you look like that?

Damian, laying face-first on the floor: Like what?

Tim: Like you’re dead.

Damian: It’s because I’m dying. Leave me here to perish.

Alfred: Young master Damian accidentally called Y/N “babe” in front of everyone today.

Damian: *sobs into the floor*

Alfred: *Turns on the kitchen light*

Y/N: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*

Alfred: It’s four in the morning, young master.

Y/N: Turn the light back off.

Bruce: This is a judgement free zone.

*Pulls out a knife the size of their forearm*

Bruce: And I mean it.

Tim: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

Y/N: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Dick: That's because she's a prostitute.

Bruce: Tim, why are you crying?

Tim: This book is so sad!!

Bruce, picking it up: But this is my diary-

Dick: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?

Y/N: Why? It was important.

Dick: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".

Damian, shrugging: The people need to know.

Y/N, to Jason: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Jason: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Y/N: You just told me you're pregnant.

Damian: Congratulations Jason, you're glowing!

Y/N: If we were in prison you guys would be like my bitches.

*When Y/N and Jason were young and new.*

Bruce: Where the devil is Alfred?

Y/N: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe he melted?

Tim: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

Jason: Thanks for opening my message and not responding.

Y/N: All good bro, any time.

Jason: Fuck you.

Damian, over radio: Testing. Testing. Bruce, can you hear me?

Bruce, standing next to Damian: I’m standing right here.

Damian: You’re coming through good and loud.

Bruce: ‘Cause I’m standing right here.

Alfred: Perhaps, the true treasure was friendship all along. Although, I hope not, because I cannot spend friendship on new suits.

Damian: You wanna fight?! You got one!

Y/N: Okay! *raises fists*

*Bruce runs in, scoops Y/N up in their arms, and runs away carrying them because he just didnt want them to fight. Yet.*

Damian:

Damian: What?

Y/N: Any questions?

Dick: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Y/N: Uh, a plan, duh...

Damian: Dick, chill, I know it’s weird, but Y/N has a point.

Dick:

Dick: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

*Alternatively*

Joker: Any questions?

Y/N: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Joker: Uh, a plan, duh...

Harley: Y/N, chill, I know it’s weird, but Joker has a point.

Y/N:

Y/N: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Bruce, answering the phone: Hello?

Damian: It’s Damian.

Bruce: What did they do this time?

Damian: No, it’s me, Damian. It’s actually me.

Bruce: What did you do this time?

Dick: Everyone thinks you suck.

Joker: I think you have the wrong number…

Dick: Damian?

Joker: Nope. Joker.

Dick: Well, you probably suck too…

Y/N: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.

Tim: And?

Y/N: And you are.

Hello 👋, I hope you're doing well..

My name is Mahmoud, and I'm a 17-year-old from Gaza. The ongoing war has devastated my city, destroyed my school, and made daily life incredibly challenging.

Despite these hardships, I'm determined to continue my education and build a better future. I've been given a chance to study abroad, but I need help to cover the costs of leaving Gaza, as well as living expenses and other essentials abroad once the crossing opens.. 🙏

If you can, please consider donating or sharing, your kindness can truly make a difference, and thanks for your time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/bd3ccf0b 🔗

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Mahmoud from Gaza Pursue His Dreams, organized by Mazin Fakak

Hello, my name is Mahmoud Abu Swierh, and I am a 17-year-old from Al-Nuseirat in … Mazin Fakak needs your support for Help Mahmoud from Gaza

Hello sorry for tagging. I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes, I have no medicine or food. I am in bad shape financially, I am a black disabled, who uses multiple medications, I pay for my food and lodging

Unfortunately I do not have all the resources to keep me safe, that is why I need your help, whatever you can contribute to me will be of great help.

If you are really in this state, I can't do much but raise awareness, sorry

While hosting a game show to boost the brothers' popularity

NB MC: "-and you'll have to answer twice," *looks at Mammon with. smirk* ", easy for you Virgos."

NB Mammon: "How did they know I was a Virgo..."

*Fanfare begins*

NB Mammon: "HOW DID THEY KNOW I WAS A VIRGO I DID NOT TELL THEM MY BIRTHDA-"

Barnaby. B. Beagle Drabble

Platonic child!reader ≈` *

Requested by @pastel-pandoll

"Barnaby?"

"Yea, kid?" His heavy accent runs thick as he looks at the much smaller puppet from his spot on balancing on a ball.

"Why do you do what you do?" The small child puppet asks softly, looking down while kicking the felt grass which surrounded their shoes.

"Don't you get.. bored?" They asked in an even softer tone, almost like they were scared to hurt the large dogs feelings.

"'Course not, kid!" The large dog exclaims, jumping off the ball haphazardly, niether him nor the child puppet questioning and it just.. rolls down the hill. Out of sight, out of reach.

"Why d'ya ask?" He put his large, blue paws on his uncovered hips, his body easily towering over the smaller puppet.

"I guess I just can't imagine doing the same thing.. forever." The child reveals, solemly looking off as the sunshine covered ball rolls down the grassy hill. They lived in a practical paradise. An artificial one.

"Barnaby?"

"Yea, kid?"

"I'm bored."

Hello, 🌹🇵🇸🍉

I hope you are well.

Could you please help me reblog the post on my account to save my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏

I am new to Tumblr and also to GoFundMe.🙏

I hope you can support and stand by me at the beginning .

Thank you ♥️ .

---

🌹🇵🇸🍉

Hello! I saw you were doing Drabble requests and I was wondering if I could request some HCs of being (Welcome Home) Barnaby’s child? Sorryhesmycomfortcharacterahhhhh

Hope you are having a fun day!

Ofcourse, thank u for the request <3

u a big ass red flag if I've ever seen 1. ur also pretty gay and a little skrunkly wierdo lol

Putting my part into this old ass trend bc the ppl need to know who I really am, I'm batma-

I'm a night stalking, crime fighting vigilante and all I feel is rage, 24/7, 365 at 1,000,000 percent and if you think that there's anything behind that, then youre crazy.

GOODNIGHT ALFRED

Also squeak squeak imma rat ig

new tag game idea :3

put the characters people have described as “you-coded” and try and figure out prev’s personality from that (if u want)

i’ll go first:

@sobeksewerrat @emily-mooon @gh0stfaquerie @ilistentogirlinred @the-beard-of-edward-teach @alyxdefoisnthere @is-this-just-fantasy @bimyself06 @irritablepoe @elsbianism @aroassery @autistic-azulaa @biscuits-lovely-corner and anyone who sees this feel free to join :3