Mammon

The Brothers as Random Texts I've sent in the last 24 hours

Satan: I'm not FUCKING ANGRY I'm just being a sarcastic bitch

Leviathan: I'm not good at insulting people BUT IF I WAS You'd be SO roasted rn

Beelzebub: Currently eating a tomato like an apple because I want to eat but I also need to be healthy

Asmo: How do I brag without sounding like a narcissistic bitch

Belphegor, replying: You already are a narcissistic bitch

Asmo: I know but how do I not SOUND like one

Happy Birthday!

 It’s the best bois Beel and Belphie’s birthday today!

Lucifer: * sees the fun activity being done by other people on Devilgram*

Lucifer: Ok, we're going to put everything we love in this box as a family activity.

Asmodeus: Can I put MC in the box?

Lucifer: No.

Satan: Can I put MC in the box?

Lucifer: *sigh* No.

All the brothers and MC: ...

Beel, picking up MC: Can I put-

Lucifer: NO!

THIS IS AMAZING

Fanfiction Club: The Rules

This idea came to me when I woke up first thing this morning.

Levi: Why are you sulking like a baby?

Mammon: MC left my text on read.

Mammon: And I am sulking like a MAN thank you

Mammon: Hey Lucif-

Lucifer, at his desk with a bunch of bills in front of him: Mammon, for the sake of my blood pressure I'm going to ask you to not finish that sentence.

Mammon:

Mammon: -fer, I was wondering if-

Lucifer: (livid)

Genderbent Levi: I wish I had the ability to make boys nervous.

Genderbent Belphie: Holding a knife to their throat usually works for me.

MC: I can confirm this

PLEASE HELP US NOT BECOME HOMELESS !!!

my girlfriend and i need help!! we’re a disabled trans person and a queer black woman, and we don’t want to beg but we’re desperate! my girlfriend’s work hours were cut due to covid and we’ve fallen so far behind that, unless some more money comes our way, we won’t be able to make this month’s rent.

we’re both mentally ill, autistic abuse survivors! we’ve both been homeless before, and we can’t do it again…

WE NEED $400 BEFORE 6/24.

if u donate i will do art commissions for u, send u nudes, or both!!! i cannot emphasize enough how desperate we are.

@crypticangels on venmo

$RaphaelSchmidt on cashapp

https://www.paypal.me/cryptidfriend105

please reblog even if you can’t donate… ANYTHING helps

Maliaahan, avatar of bean bags

‪find your obey me! demon name & what your avatar of!‬

‪• first 2 letters of your first name‬

‪• first consonant of your last name‬

‪• second letter of your middle name (or parent’s name)‬

‪• last vowel of your first name‬

‪• add the last three letters of your fave demon bro’s name‬

‪• thing closest to your left is what you are avatar of‬

Please reblog!! People need to know these things!!!

ATTENTION ALL GIRLS AND LADIES: if you walk from home, school, office or anywhere and you are alone and you come across a little boy crying holding a piece of paper with an address on it, DO NOT TAKE HIM THERE! take him straight to the police station for this is the new 'gang' way of rape. The incident is getting worse. Warn your families. Reblog this so this message can get accross to everyone.