How To Feign Your Life Is Together

Can you give some blowjob tips? I need to improve lol

Aight get ready to get ur hoe on, this is everything I know. And this is what works for me, so try it out and play around w it see what works for u and whats enjoyable for ur partner and suck his soul outta is body. Remember you can’t half-ass this shit it wont be enjoyable for you or him, you gotta dive right in like the sex god(dess) you are:

Tease him, don’t just jump right in. Make out & stroke him over his clothes, rub and squeeze a bit. Kiss his damn neck, don’t forget his nipples, they sensitive 2 (play w it, lick it - pro tip: a light touch is A+)

kiss your way down, be sensual & shit, guys love that shit; look up @ him when u do, that’s sexy as hell; get comfortable cause I know when I don’t take time to position myself my knees and hips hurt like a bitch, I like sitting/kneeling between his legs if he’s laying down or sitting. If he’s standing its not as bad 

I like to stroke and pump him lightly a few times a few times while I try to gather saliva in my mouth. how you want to start is up 2 u. Licking his length or putting the tip in your mouth (i like this one). I like to switch it up tho, so go crazy. Establishing eye contact when u do this is hella erotic too. Kiss his belly (like below his belly button and above his pubic area - if u wanna kiss there thats fine too I don’t cause pubes), kiss his thighs (guys love this too)

People say roll your lips over your teeth (like an old person) so you don’t scrape his weewee but like????? that dont work with me & makes it more difficult, I don’t have much trouble with my teeth. Just keep your lips flat over your teeth (don’t pull your lips up like with a toothy smile) and you’ll be fine.

The 1st 10-15 seconds, I’m just trying to get him as wet as possible with spit (and you can use this to see how much of him you can fit in your mouth) so bounce your head a few times and suck, test how far in you can fit him, get messy and get it wet (as much as you can) guys LOVE sloppy cause it feels much better. If you have difficulty with this, try hitting the back of your throat. If you gag a little it’ll produce more saliva but back up immediately. In my experience, if I’m enjoying myself and getting into it then I produce a lot more spit. If it’s still difficult invest in some lube.

Go fuckin wild. The main thing is to suck on it obv. Bounce your head up and down, use your hand(s) to stroke what you can’t fit in your mouth. Swirl your tongue around while you suck on him. Alternate your speeds, go fast for a few seconds then slow down. And vary your sucking strength too. Sometimes you gotta suck him like its the end of the world and switch it up and do it lightly to tease him. A trick is “hollowing out your cheeks”, you’re basically pulling your cheeks in like when you make a “goldfish face” or when your contour LMAO this makes it super tight - I can’t do this for very long gotta watch out for teeth when u do this tho. It’s okay to take breaks from sucking and take him out of your mouth, just keep stroking him with your hand. And lick his length (eye contact!!)

I know some guys like to face fuck a girl, mine doesn’t really. But if he does and you’re comfortable with it then just relax your mouth and let him do the work. I tend to flex the back of my throat when ths happens or else it’ll hit my gag reflex. Remember to talk about it before hand (usually a guy will ask if he can) make sure you have a signal or something to back off because it can get overwhelming especially if he’s larger and/or doing very hard.

During strokes, squeeze a little tighter when you’re pulling towards the tip (you) than when you’re going towards him. it’s okay to use a tight grip (don’t hulk it) but I found that light teasing touches are gr8 too. Focus on the head, do small strokes on the tip, run your thumb over it. Lightly lick the tip and flick your tongue around and play w it. Take the tip into your mouth and suck on it

Don’t forget about his balls! They’re super super sensitive. When you need a break from sucking, keep stroking his shaft, and lick his balls. Try and take them in your mouth suck on em and swirl them around with your tongue (try taking both if u can u champ; if not one @ a time is good too). But you definitely have to be more careful with them because you can easily hurt him. When you’re sucking on his penis, massage his balls lightly (hella sensations)

okay my finishing move; if he hasn’t come yet that day (my partner and I go several rounds so) this will finish him right off. When you’re sucking him, try to take him as far in as you can that you’re still comfortable with and tense and flex the muscles there. A swallowing motion around his penis, while you’re sucking. This might take some practice to flex it while still sucking so it’s okay to actually swallow, it’ll just prevent you from sucking. If you moan or hum during this the vibrations will make it even better. If you can deep throat him then hell yeah hell yeah, go u (i can’t lmao)

Pay attention to his reactions. If his breathing gets erratic, his grip gets tighter, moan, or buckle his hips when you’re doing a certain move then keep doing it. Observe him and what he likes. It’s really helpful if he communicates, I know certain guys don’t though. So ask him, say “oh you like that?” “this feel good?” I like to keep it playful and joke if I know he’s enjoying it “oh you like that? want me to keep going?” etc. it’ll classify as dirty talk and help guide you to do more of what he likes.

When he’s close, focus on the tip. Usually guys will let you know (if he doesn’t, tell him beforehand to give you a warning) I always swallow, if you can: do it. It’s sexy for him, and less of a mess. Try to swallow while he’s cumming, cause in my experience if I wait and let it pool in my mouth, it’ll be unpleasant it gets messy & leaks when you remove your mouth. While he’s cumming, do light sucking motions on his head, don’t take him all the way in (I angle his penis up towards the roof of my mouth instead of the back of my throat cause if you have a gag reflex then whoa buddy ur in for a surprise. I don’t even have a sensitive one and it made me gag and tear up because ejaculation comes out at a v fast pace.)

If you can’t swallow then try to keep it in your mouth and go to the bathroom to spit it out. Try and take it like a trooper, because if you make faces of disgust it’ll make him feel bad. If you really don’t want him to, then talk about it with him beforehand and come to an agreement, maybe let him cum on you, in your hand, or something. I don’t like doing this because it is really messy, especially if he has a big load (which mine does). My guy and I have an agreement that he can cum on me if we’re in the shower cause it washes right off.

And last thing: not mandatory obviously but it’ll make your life easier. If you have long hair I recommend tying it up in a ponytail. It makes it neater, it’s gives him a good view of what you’re doing. And it’s something for him to grab onto (and pull - if you’re into that).

Have fun, do your best, remember that this takes time and it’s not something you get great at overnight (but if u do then good for u), it takes time. So go out there and make them moan and cuss under their breath with your blowjob skills.

Right now, I’m sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Here’s some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:

‘You must include a cover letter’ does not mean ‘write a single line about why you want this position’. If you can’t be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I can’t be bothered to read your CV.

Don’t bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘listening to music’. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly don’t care how you spend your time. I won’t be looking at your CV thinking ‘huh, they haven’t included their interests, they must have none’, I’m just looking for what you have included.

Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that don’t include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like ‘CV - media’ tell me that you’ve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didn’t tailor it for this position. ‘[Full name] CV’ is best.

USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I can’t make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.

I don’t care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why they’re useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and you’re applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, don’t give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job I’m advertising.

Does the application pack say who you’ll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. It’s super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people don’t do this.

Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what you’re looking for, not just what you think I’m looking for.

I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If it’s not interesting to you, it’s probably not interesting to me. I’m overworked and tired. Make my job easy.

“I work well in a team or individually” okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means you’ll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.

For an entry-level role, tell me how you’re looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you can’t teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.

This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually don’t go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how you’ll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all you’ve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments - it’s up to you to figure out the culture and what they’re looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, it’s not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.

And if you get rejected, it’s worthwhile asking why. You’ve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, there’s really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, “if it isn’t too much trouble”). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know it’s shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if it’s just one line like “your cover letter wasn’t inspiring" at least you know where to start.

And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesn’t read exactly like that of every other person who took the same ‘how-to-get-a-job’ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like ‘I am a highly motivated and punctual individual who–’ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.

You're miserable, and you're lonely, and you're going to trap me here to keep me every bit as miserable and lonely too!

4x12 || annabelle--cane || 2x19 || our song - rainbow kitten surprise || 8x20 || r/AmItheAsshole || 7x16 || anonymous || 3x22 || do your worst - the happy fits || 2x16 || ask polly || 8x16 || it's all futile! it's all pointless! - wilbur soot || 4x12

36 questions that can make two strangers fall in love

In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

The problem isn’t falling in love, it’s staying in love. 

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

💕A Glow Up Challenge💕

Day 1: Start reducing screen time at least an hour before you go to sleep. Read a book, do some drawing, take a bath, etc. You’ll sleep like a baby.

Day 2: Start moisturizing your face with SPF twice a day.

Day 3: Start using mouthwash BEFORE brushing your teeth; it helps get bacteria and other microbes off of your teeth more efficiently for a stronger clean👄

Day 4: Take 5 minutes to stretch right after waking up.

Day 5: Start drinking a glass of cold water before you eat breakfast to kickstart your metabolism.

Day 6: Start applying Vitamin E oil to your stretch marks right after you shower daily for smooth flawless skin.

Day 7: Start doing a mini 5 minute work out before your shower: squats, pushups, planks, whatever you like doing.

Day 8: Take a day off from social media to actually enjoy your surroundings🌅🌄

Day 9: Take an epsom salt bath for an overall detox (you can find bags of epsom salt at your local pharmacy).

Day 10: Start the day with a healthy breakfast. Scrambled eggs, a bowl of fruit, some whole grain toast, etc

Day 11: Switch from coffee to tea for a healthier caffeine fix☕

Day 12: Take a break from makeup today. Let ya skin breathe.

Day 13: Start applying SPF to your hands daily👐

Day 14: Go meatless for the day. You’ll really feel the difference in your body/energy throughout the day.

Day 15: Do a face mask today, whether it be a homemade one or that one with the pretty packaging that you always want to do but the time never felt right. Yeah, that one!!

Day 16: Create a “getting ready” playlist, put songs for the mood you want to be in, instead of the mood you are in🎶

Day 17: Four words: SEA SALT SCRUB DOWN. Mix some olive oil and sea salt and you got yourself a bomb ass body scrub.

Day 18: Declutter something today, having a more organized environment will help improve your mood.

Day 19: Go commando for today! You gotta let her get some air.

Day 20: Exercise, it doesn’t have to be intense at all. Go for a walk with your dog, for a jog, even a dance session in your room with your fave playlist🏃

Day 21: Clean your sheets today, especially your pillow case!!! There is all kinds of shit that could be on there rn, you should be doing this every 1-2 weeks.

Day 22: Wake up 2 hours earlier (okay.. 1 hour) Use this time to make your day less stressful.

Day 23: Spend your spare time reading or studying today📚

Day 24: Eat some chocolate; yes seriously. Dark chocolate is ideal but any will do. It’s great for your metabolism and your mood!

Day 25: Try something different with your hair today. Doesn’t matter if it’s just a new style or maybe something big like a new color, or cut. Even parting your hair a different way can transform your whole look💇

Day 26: Beat ya face, dress up real cute and take a bunch of selfies.

Day 27: Start flossing after every meal to avoid plaque building up on your teeth so you can strengthen and protect those pearly whites😀

Day 28: Delete old contacts of people you don’t fw anymore, and unfollow any people you don’t fw on social media. Cutting off dead ends clears your skin✨

Day 29: Splurge on some cute ass lingerie that makes you feel like a queen, whether it be for yourself, your mans, or ya lady. Having sexy lingerie on as you go about your day can boost your confidence for sure

Day 30: Apply a sugar scrub to your lips once or twice a week and moisturize them daily to keep your lips nice and luscious😘

MASTERPOST OF ALL THE HOE TIPS/GLO UP TIPS YOU’LL EVER NEED ✨

1. How to be a bad b!tch

2. Skincare/beauty tips from twitter user @ambitionVEVO

3. Hoe products to try out 

4. Random hoe tips pt.1

5. Random hoe tips pt.2

6, How to look expensive on a budget

7. Even more ways to look expensive for cheap courtesy of the queen Amber Scholl 

8. A hoe’s guide to flirting

9. How to make your skin glow 

10. Real life hoe tips

11. Hoe wisdom - MANIPULATION

12. How to hoe when you’re not a hoe

13. SELF LOVE

14. How to have the softest skin + hoe bath & body care routine

15. Tips for treating yourself

16. Self-improvement masterpost

17. Treating body acne

18. Super silky summer legs!

19. 25 common makeup mistakes courtesy of @ImTheBombDotCom on twitter

20. The Bad B!tch Mentality

21. The Bad B!tch Mentality pt.2

22. How to get rid of dark spots : underarms, neck, inner thighs (read description)

23.  Hygiene/beauty masterpost

THAT’S ABOUT IT FOR NOW BBYS, DON’T FORGET TO FOLLOW ME FOR MORE AND HMU ON HERE OR @bitchynextdoor IF Y'ALL HAVE ANY QUESTIONS♡

ya’ll for real though, if you don’t own a bathtub and wanna do those “soak in apple cider vinegar” things, get a spray bottle (dollarstore sells ‘em) and put 2/1 ratio of water and vinegar and sit in your shower, lean foreword and let the spray hit your back, and spritz your cooch with the mist and let it soak it in a while before you rinse it

Health, Skin care, & Beauty tips pt.I💋💋 ©reds to @AmbitionVEVO on twitter!

DID YOU KNOW I RECENTLY HAD A BROTHER DIE, TOO?

the bear / phoebe waller-bridge / lilly dancyger / david byrne / dan pearce / suzy kassem / toni morrison / joseph fink / rabbi joseph telushkin / emily dickinson / richard siken / lone twin network / aanchal malhotra / frank ocean / gabrielle calvocoressi / maurice sendak