Humans Are Weird Thing: Hiccups

„ Sir „ The alien asked his commander

„ Why are humans considered one of the most dangerous species ?

They do not posses any special powers ,

They are dependent on so many factors to live

They are fleeing , their lifespan isn’t more than 2 centuries ? “

The commander stayed still . After a long pause , in which the alien soldier already admitted defeat he spoke :

“ Because they learn not to fear death.

Not all of them . But some.

They overcome the biggest unknown the universe offers . They simply conquer it . They risk their life’s for war , for emotions , sometimes even for fun. Fully aware that their one chance is so insignificant . Fully aware they might not live to even a century .”

The commander turned towards the soldier .

“ No other species has ever learned that. Even our race , that lives for millions of years , shivers and screams as the dark void that consumes everything comes to get us.

Humans are terrifying because they play with that void on a daily basis. Some of them even long for it.

Can you imagine , soldier ?

A human could live for only 20 solar circles and long for the unknown void . How could it feel so much in such short time span ? How could it look the horror that the unknown brings and reach out for it ?”

The aliens eyes widened, and he stepped back

“ Everybody fears the void . It’s impossible not too” He didn’t fully believe his commander . Yet he couldn’t deny the insanity with which humanity moved forward .

The commander made a sound that was considered a chuckle in their race .

“ Say that to the next human you meet and watch, how they defy that in every way .”

#I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE 212TH #BUT ESPECIALLY THAT ONE THAT JUST JUMPS ON A SPIDER DROID #YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO GO THAT HARD MY FRIEND BUT I LOVE YOU FOR IT

Snippet of a thing im not going to finish:

Obi-wan and Anakin meet Jango years before cannon. Jango is on a Job for Dooku. Ani and Obi are on a mission to help a tiny moon celebrate a holiday. Of course it all goes wrong and the crash into Jango during their escape, Anakin may accidently kidnap him thinking its a rescue. One thing leads to another and they go on a roadtrip to kill a sith.

"My mom is the best!" Anakin gushed. "She raised me all on her own as a slave. Managed to help start an underground railroad for escaped slaves. And saved 2 jedi all on her own."

Jango nodded. He liked the sound of Shmi Skywalker. Couldn't wait to meet her. Curiously he turned to the third person in their impromptu team up. The redheaded jedi. Who so far had been quietly working away on a plan for their roadtrip to murder a sith.

"What about your parents?" Jango asked. He may as well. He'd already shared information about his buir.

"Hmm? Oh they sold me to slavers when I was 2. Not sure what they're doing now." He answered absently. Voice calm and disinterested.

A loud crash broke the following silence. "What?!" Anakin exclaimed having dropped the small deactivator he was working on for the clone slave chips. "Your parents sold you?!"

Obi-wan finally looked up from his pad. Looking a bit confused. "The jedi found me a few months later. I don't even remember any of it. There's no need to be upset about the past Ani."

Jango bit back his scathing response to that. "What planet are you from?" He asks. Though he's got a good idea. Redheads were pretty sparce in the galaxy. Only coming from a few mostly insular planets. It would also explain why Jango's first urge when meeting had not been to kill the annoying man, but to get him away from danger.

"Stewjon." He answers. No sign of him understanding the implications of what sitting a few feet from a mandalorian means for him.

Jango resist the urge to groan. Of course he would meet the 1 Stewjoni who didn't know about the Call. And he was a kriffing Jedi of all things.

Anakin nearly chokes on his own gasp as he of all people realizes what's going on. The teens eyes snap to Jango and he stabs a finger at him. "I'll toss you out the airlock. I swear to the force. Don't you even-"

"I wasn't!" Jango snaps. He is not getting threatened by some baby jedi. Not even if part of him is crowing with excitement at being so close to one of his people. Jedi or not the redhead belonged to his people. To the Mand'alor.

"Sorry. What's going on?" Obi-wan demands. Scowling at the other two men.

"Everyone's joke about you being mando bait is more literal than previously thought." Anakin answers before Jango can. "You're not allowed be be alone with Jango anymore." He puffed up when Obi-wan snorted in response.

"Anakin-"

"He has a right to be worried. Though I have more control over myself than he thinks, others might not." Jango cut in.

Obi-wan frowned. Looking between them. "I think you may need to explain."

Okay but so one of the Clone Empire AUs (AU where the clones take charge of the republic, usually from the seat of Mandalore and take over the galaxy but keep the Jedi but sorta… like pets??? But spoiled pets, not like the senate kept them) but told from the POV of the Jedi being currently kept inside the temple. They’re not really allowed out of the temple, NOT because they’ll run, but because the clones are paranoid af of them getting hurt (90% of the reason the clones took over was cause they were horrified at the senate treating THEIR Jedi like that) but they’re letting certain senators stay to help pick up the pieces of the galaxy (Anakin is in a pretty bad depression in the temple because Padme is allowed to leave to go to the senate but he isn’t allowed to leave without escorts and usually Rex basically putting a child leash on him and it’s giving him some bad feelings about it all) and the Jedi being nervous about it all.

Thing is. The force is CONSTANTLY telling them this is the correct thing to do. They’re supposed to give control to the clones. Clone empire will save the galaxy. But also, they’ve started talking in Dai Bendu around the temple almost constantly, shiftily walking away when the clones come over to talk to them if they’re in groups, just nervous stuff, like skittish cats.

Cody had to get Alpha 17 to come by to talk to Obi-Wan and Anakin before either of them would stop hiding in Obi-Wan’s apartments all day. Obi-Wan hasn’t cuddled with Cody in a month and that’s VERY concerning. Not that they’re together, it’s just that Obi-Wan likes using Cody as a bed and Cody is addicted to seeing Obi-Wan sleep for once. Alpha had to come by like a concerned dad and gently coax them out of hiding and back to being regular temple inhabitants.

Rex, in a move of desperation, drags them off to the temple salon (beauty, not tea in this case, the temple does and should function as it’s own city which means food and clothing production as well as other things like that) and makes them both get massaged till they’re purring piles of Jedi Goop and is pleased with his babysitting duties. A new haircut and getting rid of tension does wonders. They’re fairly normal after that. Obi-Wan goes back to teaching an Alderaanian poetry class (and supervising kiddo art classes) and Anakin is building a new security system that he’ll integrate soon, and Rex is smug to have gotten them the most normal so far.

The Jedi are skittish tookas who want to hide after this blow to their safety and lifestyles, but the newly instated council (which involves doubling the numbers so the clones can discuss the changes and how things will work with the Jedi) is working on a way to get them back to their true calling: peace keeping.

Basically, the clones start their own empire and use a very firm hand on the Jedi to get them to stop being attack dogs and start accepting love and help now. They are never forced to go on a mission with less than 20 clones from then on.

Bly and Aayla get married in the Room of a Thousand Fountains and Quinlan was delighted to give his baby girl away. Here, take her, she’s very annoying. Obi-Wan and Anakin finally get into a long awaited fight about how Ani got married but never invited his master and Obi-Wan is still hurting from it. Rude. Yoda is terrorizing the frog population with Initiate Grogu. Yaddle has more class than those idiots. Qui-Gon’s force ghost shows up and Fives is the only clone in the room that can see him and won’t stop staring at him with big dumb tooka eyes and Qui-Gon is gonna make him shit his pants he just knows it. Rex and Cody are trying to placate their idiot Jetii (Ahsoka was dragged back to the temple and dropped in Anakin’s lap and it was the most normal he’d been in years and they are inseparable now but Ahsoka ain’t getting in the middle of that lmao) with cuddles and hair pets. Padme is throwing up in a bush because she doesn’t know she’s pregnant and this is the start of a lovely bought of forever sickness. Ugh. Anakin and Obi-Wan finally settle their differences when the clones decide they’ll have another ceremony next month for Ani and Padme. Fox is drunk and dosing on a bed of flowers with a fully grown nexu guarding him, having decided he’s his cub now. That’ll be an interesting relationship. Alpha finally picks Obi-Wan up under his armpits like a cat and says if he can’t stop being grumpy it’ll be naptime. It’s very annoying. One of Bly’s troopers shows up with his foundling he got on Concordia when they were raiding a Death Watch camp, named Din, who has managed to catch Grogu and is cuddling and kissing him into submission. Grogu is delighted, and has found his soulmate.

because i love y’all, i’m sharing my family’s recipe for apple tea (traditional fall/winter drink in west asia, turkey, and many areas of the balkans)

it’s like a more delicate version of apple cider and i basically live off of this stuff when the weather starts to cool!

Apple Tea (for two)

1 large apple or 2 small, shredded (you can use a cheese grater)

3 cups water

1-2 cinnamon sticks

2-3 pc clove (optional)

honey to taste

1 tsp of lemon juice (add at end)

green tea (optional! some versions call for green tea but i actually prefer it without. up to you!)

throw it all in a pot and let it simmer on a low temperature for an hour or so. while it’s simmering, it will also make your home smell delicious! (if you make it with green tea, add the tea at the end, about five minutes before taking it off the heat so the flavor doesn’t become bitter from oversteeping). strain into your cups and enjoy hot.

end result:

Humans are weird: Their own worst enemy

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps) Taken from memoir of Levire Gaston

“When my people first made contact with humanity I must speak truthfully and admit I did not think much of them.

Their bodies were not but soft flesh and brittle bones and their egos were even more fragile. They were quick to anger, lacking in the nuances of conversation, and seemed to prefer the direct approach in all matters as if it was something to be proud of.

I had spoken out against allying ourselves with them as I saw little to gain from such an agreement but my government thought it would be better and aligned ourselves with the pink skins.

The day I went alongside them to war is one I still remember as clear as day after more than two centuries.

It is truly an astonishing sight to watch a professional human warrior go about their work. All their brashness, all their stubbornness, all their childish habits are turned off with the flick of a switch and they became the monsters the universe seems to now label them as.

Their efficiency was matched only by their ruthlessness as they laid waste to our enemies. I watched a platoon of them charge across open ground while under heavy fire with only one surviving to reach the other side; what’s more rather than retreat the soldier continued the mission and destroyed the enemy emplacement even as their life’s blood ran out of their wounds like rivers of anguish and pain.

I had expected the soldier to expire from their sustained damage or retreat back to the safety of the rear lines to recover, yet they merely bandaged themselves with a small medkit and cauterized their more severe wounds over a nearby flame before continuing on.

After the battle I sought out that human soldier and over time we became close friends. Despite the many wars we fought together over the years to come I had never saw them lose focus or cower in the face of overwhelming odds. Truly they were a beacon of what all who carry arms should strive to.

Even after we exited military service we remained close friends and we corresponded frequently with each other. On several occasions we even met each other’s families, our bond of brotherhood remaining strong as ever.

One year I remember inviting them to a hunting trip on my homeworld for a relaxing getaway. The forests of the Great Chasm were rich and vibrant with all manner of life and we collected many a trophy. Yet so fervent had we been in the hunt that we had lost track of time and found nightfall surrounding us while we still lay miles from the nearest vestiges of civilization.

My friend insisted they we hurry back and leave but I told him that these woods warped perspective at night and we would become lost in the branches. They continued to say if they dropped their trophies and just left now we could make it, but I merely laughed and began setting up camp for the night.

As night finally consumed us we sat around the fire and shared a drink from my personal container. They seemed to need it more that night as I noticed their eyes never seemed to rest on a single spot for long and when he stretched his back he was actually using it as an excuse to look behind him. Something was clearly bothering them, but when I asked they merely laughed and evaded the question.

We sat by the fire for two hours before I went to sleep while they continued to stoke the fire and keep their eyes focused on the darkness.

I’m not sure how long I was asleep for when I was woken by the sounds of gunfire. I threw my blanket off and raised my own weapon that had been by my side. What I saw as my eyes blinked into focus was something I had not witnessed in all my life.

My friend, survivor of a hundred battles and a dozen wars, was whimpering and sobbing like a new born babe while firing blindly into the night.

I called out to them and demanded to know what they were firing at but their response was mumbled and distorted.

“It’s out there.”

That was one of the few things I could understand from my friend.

“It’s out there and it wants me.”

When I tried to ask who was out there I heard a night comoko bird howl and my friend spun on their heels and fired wildly. I dove for cover as they continued firing erratically, chunks of wood and stone flying like a blizzard as the bullets tore through them.

I heard a distinct clicking sound and knew they had run out of ammunition. As soon as I heard the magazine being ejected I rolled out and tackled my friend to the ground.

“Get a hold of yourself!” I remember shouting over and over as they struggled in my grasp.

I got a glimpse of their face in the moon light and it was like nothing I had seen before.

There was nothing there but pure fear.

It smothered him so deeply in its embrace that they had lost all reason and logic and only wished to survive from this unseen horror.

When they reached for their knife I knew I had no choice and punched them square across the jaw so hard they blacked out till next morning.

They did not speak a word to me the next morning when they did wake up, nor on the trek back to where we had left our vehicle to return home. Only during the ride back did they speak of what happened, and then we swore never to speak of it again.

While I was nestled in the comfort of slumber my friend was awake in the dark, and in that dark place his mind began to wonder; their mind becoming ever more warped and strung with each passing minute.

Every creek of wood became an unseen voice, every rustle of leaves a growl of an unknown monster, every animal call in the night the herald of a nightmare coming to slay him.

I had hunted many years in those woods with my father and not once had I felt the things they described to me. I told them this and said that everything they heard was natural for the forest, but they just shook their head and sighed.

“The mind hears what it wants to hear.” They said to me.

After they left to return to their own family I did some research on what they said and found to my horror that they were not entirely wrong.

The human capacity for imagination was well known, but what was seemingly overlooked was that humans lacked the ability to turn it off. Their minds could jump from thought to though faster than they could even breathe and what had started as the whimpers of a small rodent had led to my friends mind believing it was hearing the cackles of a nightmarish creature from beyond.

Their very mind had created the fear that drove them to madness.“

reblog if you believe fanfics are as valid as books that were published and sold by authors who write as their main careers. I'm trying to prove a point

Humans are now called “star children”.

It is common knowledge that all lifeforms, regardless of origin or existence or if they still exist, come from long-gone stars. By all accounts, there is no single existence that is not a “star child”, even thought there are many beings that do not believe they will ever deserve the title of being born from a star.

However, as the years and decades since humanity first discovered that they were never alone came by, the friends from other planets - or, for a better words, aliens - came to stop merely calling them human.

That did not happen on the span of a decade or two. It took maybe a hundred years for the first little one to decide that “star child” would be a name better fit for the common human. Slowly but surely, the title stuck, but not everyone will be able to tell you why that happenned.

Maybe it was because of their crooked hands, able to do so much with so little. Maybe it was their fascination for documenting everything, or maybe it was because of the hundreds of star patterns they loved to wear and decorate their spaceships with. Some even believe it was because of the human soul, and how it would stick to the physical plane even after death because it couldn’t understand that it was dead and it was time to say goodbye.

No, no. It wasn’t because of that. You see, they are not called star children for bringing wonder to everything. They are not called that because of their endurance, or their wits, or their imprudence. They are not called star children because their nature is extraordinary or so fantastical that the word “human” cannot fit it all inside. Every single creature, regardless of their intelligence, should be called a “star child” if that was the case, because every single living being is fantastical by merely existing.

There are aliens just as smart, just as strong, just as enduring and just as weird as the little humans and their crooked hands and their millions of libraries and their star patterns.

But when they invented a way for stars to live longer by harvesting their energy, and when wars arrived and they volunteered to take every single one they could to safety, and when they decided to dedicate their entire lives to caring of others, and when they terraformed planets that were too far gone, and when they documented every single living creature they ever found and when they debated the best ways to classify and understand them, and when they shared their art and when they made inventions so anyone could experience said art, and when they despite everything choose to keep their hopes up…

Oh, dear. That was a moment in which some of the aliens decided that “star child” would be a proper title, for only someone who remembered their origins and how they connected to other forms of existence, without ever thinking that they are better than the rest, could ever have been so stubborn to help.

And, soon enough, the humans accepted the title. They decided to stop arguing, for it was the better course of action, and embraced it. Now, the star children are most well-known for caring for their distant siblings. Not for how, many centuries prior, they once killed their own planet.

But star children are quite old, compared to the rest. And, as the oldest sibling, they must make sure no one will ever do the same mistakes they once did.

———-

Thank you for reading this! If you liked it, consider giving me a ko-fi or commissioning me! Links are in my fixed post. Have a lovely day! <3

A Different Kind of Clone War (1)

Wolfpack Mayhem

"Wolffe!"

"Yes."

"Sinker took my spare pack of ammo!"

"Well tell him to give it back."

"I did! He's being a- oof!"

Wolffe sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, finally turning around to face the chaos that was his squad.

Sinker had jumped on top of Comet and Comet now had his arm in a choke hold, trying to pry his fingers off of The pack of extra ammunition. Sinker was trying his damn hardest to hold on to it and reposition himself so Comet didn't snap his arm. Boost ducked to avoid a boot to his head and Warthog laughed.

"Just- give it- back!" Comet grunted, wrestling his older brother onto his back.

"You two are acting like children." Wolffe said. Anyone else would have heard the tone as disapproving, but the pack knew he enjoyed watching them at it and could hear the underlying affection.

"Hah! Haha!" Comet jumped up with the ammo in both hands like a trophy and made for the compartment to Wolffe's right.

It had been a long many weeks and he needed a break from all the stress. Wolffe couldn't help himself.

Faster than thought possible, he lunged at the youngest squad member and Comet toppled over from both Wolffe's weight and the surprise.

Wolffe pinned the kid on his back and straddled his waist, locking his arms to his sides with his knees.

"This is for wrecking my moment of peace." Wolffe growled before scribbling his fingers over Comet's stomach.

Comet SCREAMED. Maybe it was because he'd been taken completely by surprise. He hadn't thought the commander was even capable of pulling such a thing.

Sinker gawked at Wolffe as he tickled the young clone to hysterics. Warthog and Boost glanced at each other.

Comet bucked and writhed under the commander but he wouldn't be moved.

"WOHOHOLFFE!!"

"Yes?"

"STAHAP!"

Wolffe gave a rare grin. "Are you giving the higher ranking officer orders?"

Comet squealed as Wolffe's fingers fluttered over his navel. "No! Nohoho!"

"What in Cerridil is going on in here?"

All five of them looked up to see Commander Cody in the door way. They hadn't heard the door hiss open over Comet's laughter.

"Cody. We been redeployed?" Wolffe started to get up from his hold on Comet on the floor.

"Oh no, carry on.. I didn't mean to ruin your fun." Cody said with a grin, taking in what was happening. "I simply heard a scream."

"Aw man!" Comet groaned, trying to free his arms. "Wolffe!"

Wolffe smirked down at him. "What? Tired out already?"

"Maybe he is a shiny, yet. Just doesn't have the strength." Sinker chuckled.

Wolffe's smirk got even wider and he released Comet. Then he spun and pounced on Sinker, who yelped as he went over backwards.

"And what does that make you?" Wolffe wondered as he started pinching at Sinker's sides. Sinker immediately started giggling trying to grab the commander's wrists.

"Wow, Commander's really in a good mood today." Boost chuckled, grabbing Sinker's arms and prying them up above his head.

"Hey! No- hehehey, wahait!" Sinker squirmed as Wolffe started his assault. "BOOHOHOHOST! YOU TRAHAITOR!"

"Don't worry, I got 'em." Warthog said, burrying his fingers under Boost's arms. As a result, said clone snapped back with a shriek, letting Sinker's arms go.

Cody watched the Wolfpack wreak havoc on each other. Comet had rejoined the fray and payed dearly at Boost and Sinker's hands. Warthog was already in hysterics as Wolffe had lost Sinker and had chosen him instead.

Comet tried to get at Wolffe but got no reaction from the commander and, again, payed dearly for it.

Cody decided it was time Wolffe got a taste of his own medicine. Being from the same batch, Cody knew exactly what to do and understood why Wolffe's men hadn't figured their commander out yet.

Cody crouched behind Wolffe and prepared himself for the consoquences of his actions. Oh, there would be consoquences.

The 212th commander latched onto Wolffe's hips and Wolffe yelped and lost his concentration on Comet completely.

Cody knew how to break his brother's defenses, knew how they worked.

His men didn't know he was ticklish because he could hold out much longer than any of them. That's exactly how it had gone, back when they were cadets. So it took a solid 5 seconds of Wolffe and Cody struggling (mainly Wolffe) before Wolffe made a sound.

The rest of the pack fell still.

Cody grinned as Wolffe's giggling increased in frequency and in volume as he twisted and squirmed, trying to free himself from Cody's grip. Cody just pinched and tickled over his hips more, the grin growing wider on his face. Finally he sat down right there on the floor and pulled Wolffe into his lap, never letting up. At that point, Wolffe was writhing and laughing hysterically, a sound that made the rest of his team smile.

Cody drilled his thumbs into the dips of his hips and Wolffe arched his back and then curled in on himself, pushing himself against Cody's stomach in an attempt to get away from his hands.

With a chuckle, Cody relented and rested his arms on the shoulder in his lap. Wolffe gasped for breath, still giggling.

Yeah, it had been a long many weeks. Cody knew Wolffe was one to constantly stress and was more than happy to have contributed a distraction.

Even if he'd have to watch his own back for a while. Revenge was absolutely going to be taken by the 104th Commander.

Cody chuckled as Wolffe shifted and grumbled about him getting the upper hand but made no moves to remove himself from Cody's lap. This made him grin and run his fingers through his brother's hair, watching him all but melt.

Yeah, the commander was deffinetely in a good mood today.

When Zuko apologized to uncle Iroh in the tent cause he was so ashamed of his actions and what he’d done to the only person who unconditionally believed in his ability to do good >>>>>