Okay, I Just Have A Realisation, So We Seen Damien And Danny As Twins, We Seen Dick And Danny As Twins,

Had a humans are space orcs thought

So you know how humans almost universally like to pet animals no matter the size. (Yes I might want to pet a lion and I am not going to apologize for that. Well what if that is a trait that is unique to us/our planet?

Bounty hunting alien group with their new human crew mate lands on a planet to secure their target. After a brief search, the group encounters a guard dog... of sorts. A beast taller than a moose and built better than a bear snarls and growls, bearing its fangs. All members of the group back away slowly and ready their weapons. All, except the human who suddenly gets excited.

"Oh you're so vicious aren't you? Who's a vicious beast? Whose a vicious beast? Yes you are." The human says.

The rest of the group stares in disbelief at the human, who must have lost his mind. Wondering if they should intervene, but also kind of terrified of both the beast, and now, the human.

The beast leans in, inches away from the humans face, letting out a deep growl. The Human reaches up to pet the it, who quickly leans away, wondering what the furless bipedal is up to. Determined to pet the new animal, the human continues. His hand catching up to its head, he starts to scratch behind his ear.

The beast relaxes, experiencing a joy it never thought it wanted. A few minutes go by, and the beast lays down, relenting to the humans pets. Before long, it shows its stomach, not knowing why just reacting to a primal instinct it did not know existed.

"You want some belly rubs!" The human exclaims, rubbing the beasts belly.

Leg kicking away, the beast gets lost in the bliss for a few minutes, until the alien captain finally speaks up.

"Human, What are you doing. That beast is dangerous!" The captain barks.

"Are you a dangerous beast? Whose a dangerous beast?" The human exclaims, continuing to pet the beast.

"Human!" The captain shouts.

"It's fine! See he likes it." The human defends.

Not believing what they are seeing, the rest of the party continue on to find the target, leaving the human to bond with his new pet.

Not a lot of people really utilize the fact that the gods of the ancient world were super messed up, did jacked up stuff to people for minor inconveniences, and legit did horrific things for the lols and billy being a child is probably just as likely to do weird things to people with his magic if he feels justified in their Billy head canons: let’s change that

Someone on Twitter @s the justice league official account in their rage tweet and Shazam/Marvel has volunteered to run the account for a few days while the league’s usual guy is out. It seems like a great idea at the time, he’s well known as super friendly guy and even though he’s pretty immature at times he always seems to be the best at deescalating hostile situations with the guidance of what he calls ‘the wisdom of Solomon’.

For a good while Marvel tried to reason with them, giving evidence to the contrary for every accusation, defending his fellow league members, and owning up to his own mistakes and promises that while the league does the best they can, they aren’t perfect. None of it is good enough for them though, they argue in circles for hours.

Finally he just says, “sir, your home will be a beacon for hoards of snakes, the harvest you wish to reap will be drowned by the rain you prayed for, your milk will curdle in your mouth, and your rage will only burn yourself with every poisoned word”

And not even an hour later that person tweets that a long term work project has just been ruined for this or that reason, their coffee is rancid because they didn’t check the date on the creamer when they bought it, posts photos of at least 12 snakes writhing in their bathtub, oh and they’ve been called out for being a jerk by everyone keeping up with the thread.

Marvel/Shazam is never allowed on the Justice League Twitter again.

Billy: is consistently on time for his monitor duty, consistently arrives for meetings promptly, makes sure to call in whenever he can when he knows he might not be available for a day or more, tries to memorize procedures, and is friendly to the other JL members

Other JL members: Cap is really nice, and you can always count on him to help out the best he can if you’re struggling.

Billy, an actual child: This is great. I’m going to get a good grade in coworker, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Girl scout cookie season has to be fucking hell in Gotham

Like, okay so I don't actually know anything about girl scouts, but it has to be intense right? Every girl scout in the city has to know that Bruce Wayne is a soft touch and will buy out your entire stock if you just look at him with even a hint of a sad frown. Which means outside of Wayne Enterprises and Wayne Manor is prime real estate, the kind of hot spots that scouts and their parents are willing to go to war for. Like, full on street brawls breaking out between these little girls and their rival troops over common Bruce Wayne locations.

And it's *Gotham* so you know there are like, Gotham Specific badges for things like "Improvised Weaponry" and "Urban War Tactics" I bet there are badges for helping people during Rogue attacks, with like a badge for each specific Rogue and a badge you get if you've earned all the others.

Just. Gotham Girl Scouts have to be scarier than any Marine, and are probably on so many watch lists, both ad potential heroes and villains.

*exports you as a jpeg* *and turns the quality waaaaay down*

"Danny was born a Wayne" AU except he's Bruce's grand uncle. The result of a one time drunken affair, shortly before Kenneth Wayne's death, to a young unmarried woman who gave the baby up for adoption.

(Whether the Fenton's, and therefore Amity, were just ahead of their times or the DC timeline is shifted a bit so that DP happens in its cannon era is up to you. Dealers choice, though now that i know about her i just love badass widowed prohibition leader Laura Elizabeth Wayne)

Danny grows up knowing hes adopted and loved by the Fentons but something (dealer's choice) happens and he loses his family and friends (maybe the whole town goes too?). In an attempt to avoid a Dan situation he flees into the Infinite Realm and doesn't stop.

He just wanders, time passes in its weird Realms way, not that Danny truly notices. A protector spirit thats lossed everything it protected. Its a wonder he doesn't fade and he actually might've if it wasn't for his human side.

But its a tug at his core that brings him from his near catatonic wandering. Gone before he can even understand it but enough to shake him back to himself. Enough to know that hes nowhere near ready to go anywhere familiar so he continues on, his wandering no less pointless but at least he's aware again.

What feels like a relatively short time later he gets another tug, and this time he manages to follow it.

He follows it invisibly through a natural portal that drops him somewhere in New Jersey and all the way to a fancy hospital room in the gloomiest city he's ever seen.

In there he sees his half brother Patrick Wayne, though he wont figure out their connection for a few more years, holding little Agatha. She's adorable in her little dress and pigtails and her sweet face causes that familiar tug he recognizes from what must have been six years ago given the girls age.

Then a nurse comes in and hands a little bundle to what must be the mother (whos name i cant find) and Danny takes one look at the little core tugger who brought him here and just melts. Even without knowing yet that this is his last remaining family, his instincts latch on and he vows to protect and care for the Waynes.

And he does.

He finds his forgetful brother's documents and keeps Aggy company when everyone else is busy and soothes baby Thomas so his poor sister-in-law can get some more sleep. He ices fevers and bruised knees and helps on later games of hide and seek.

He very rarely becomes visible and only to the children. His grief over the Fenton's convinces him its better to protect his new family from the shadows.

Danny explores every inch of the manor, including secret passages and an underground cave system. He claims a forgotten room in the back of the attic as his own, which over the years fill up with knickknacks, heirlooms, and pictures of the family. Even a gift or two from Agatha, who hadn't stopped believing in their shadowy guardian like her brother did when Danny felt they were too old to see him without drawing suspicion.

The manor becomes his haunt and he always knows where each family member is within it. And when any guests have some no good intentions.

And when baby Bruce is born tugging at his core and with the bluest little eyes, he welcomes the fussy little thing. And makes sure dear Martha never knows just how fussy baby Bruce really is, otherwise she might've never had a full nights sleep.

Danny blames himself for not being there when Thomas and Martha die, and promises to never leave Bruces side, practically becoming the boy's living shadow. Watching over him as he gets older, secretly aiding him in his training. Danny feels a bit of pride when Bruce takes some inspiration from the old stories Thomas told him of the shadowy Wayne family protector when creating his Batman identity, glad his nephew still remembers him even if he hasn't shown himself since the now young man was six.

Danny continues to protect and care for the family in a variety of ways over the years even as the family grows.

Lightening Alfred's workload, softening Dick's falls, calming Jason's temper both pre and post pit, hiding Tim's coffee when the boy hasn't slept in far too long, providing plenty of shadows and hiding nooks for Cass, helping Damian hide the litter of kittens he found.

And no one seems to know he's there, except maybe Cass and he's pretty sure Alfred has been know since he first started working for the family. No one knows, that is, until Duke Thomas moves in and lookes right at him watching invisibly from the sidelines.

(@omnicrafts @dcxdpdabbles @hdgnj @ailithnight @nelkcats @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 i dont know, the main point of all this is that Danny's been protecting the Wayne family for decades and no one, except maybe Alfred, knew until Duke moved in)

Half asleep Bowuigi idea where Luigi gets kidnapped and somehow castle chef is not able to make food and Luigi volunteers because these kids are hungry and they need to eat!

He makes a massive Italian meal, Kamek doesn’t even know where he got the ingredients from but he eats a bit and is not complaining, all the Koopalings eat it and are instantly like ‘we are keeping him’.

Suddenly all the minions are actually really really trying to stop Mario it goes to Kaizo levels hard and Mario is not having a good time, but he is getting his brother back. Peach is not sure if she should be offended or not that they’ve never been this bad when it was her kidnapped.

Bowsers confused why it’s taking Mario so long (He’s a bit happy though because the green one is kinda nice to talk to NOT THAT HE WILL EVER ADMIT THAT)

Bonus: The Koopalings met Polterpup and lose their minds because IT’S A DOG! IT’S A GHOST DOG! HE HAS A GHOST DOG WE ARE KEEPING HIM AND THE DOG! WHY DID YOU KEEP KIDNAPPING THE PRINCESS DAD THIS GUY IS SO COOL AND HE HAS A DOG!

My comic I did for a zine a while back.

AU where lonely business man!Bakugo sees the street musician!Kirishima perform on his way home every day.

[DO NOT REPOST]