Mr. Martin: I Was Born For Politics. I Have Great Hair And I Love Lying.

They need to bring this back because it was literally one of the top best things I swear

Love that whenever Maddie and Simon are talking in season one there is at least one shot to show how Simon looks like he is talking to air, just to remind the audience how ridiculous he looks to others

Rhonda: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Charley: I think you mean cards.

Rhonda, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

Rhonda writing a letter: Dear Santa, I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty... and it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Simon: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Xavier: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Simon: Seize the dick.

Simon: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Xavier: I wrote you a poem.

Simon, already crying: You did?

Wally: *Gently taps table*

Charley: *Taps back*

Maddie: What are they doing?

Rhonda: Morse code.

Wally: *Aggressively taps table*

Charley: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Simon Elroy needs to go to a rage room. Let him get his anger and frustrations out because he is so stressed and that’s not healthy. He’s so stressed like he needs to let all that frustration out

Maddie: You have to apologize to Xavier

Simon: Fine.

Simon: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

LOOK AT HIMMMM OH MY GOD

Yuri..i love him so much.

Xavier: Fuck a heatwave, a goth never gets too warm.

Xavier, an hour later: I have heatstroke.