So This Has Been Drifting About In My Head Since I Got Home Today

the cat girl empire.... it's begun

@weirdo-with-a-potato

guys i love everyone here

and it should've felt good but i can hear the jaws theme song on repeat in the back of my mind

you already know it's whizzer even though the fandom still aggressively focuses on the angst

Real or nah???

you know I find it funny how all the canon hellaverse asexuals are in positions of power in some way (mammon: deadly sin, octavia: ars goetia, alastor: overlord)

this is a metaphor for how asexuals are very powerful and you should beware of us

new addition!! (Daphne SLIH + trans flag)

I’m still very much taking suggestions for these lol

Maybe just one more...

-

Alana: I don't want to control everything!

Alana: I just want people and events to mold to my desire!!

-

Jared: I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.

Connor: If your still alive at 80, I will demand a medical explanation.

-

Evan: Would you please not Jared this into a worse situation than it already is?

Jared: Hold on, did you just use my name as a verb??

-

Evan: We're having another moment, aren't we?

Jared: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

-

Zoe: This is the worst thing you've ever done!

Connor: You say that so much that at this point it's lost all of it's meaning.

-

Connor: Frankly, I would say I'm gayer than you.

Jared: How are you gayer than I am?

Connor: Well, I wear a man purse.

Jared: That's not gay! That's hideous! And if you were as gay as I am, you'd know that!

-

Jared, about Evan: I don't have a crush on him. He's just someone I stare at and I like and when he's not here, it ruins my day.

-

Evan: Why do you always turn everything into a joke?

Jared: Generally, it's to avoid confronting the very real and difficult issues that most proper adults have to deal with.

-

Evan: Hey, Connor, can I get some dating advice?

Connor: Just because I'm with Miguel doesn't mean I know how I did it.

-

Evan: Be careful!

Jared: I always am.

Connor: Respectfully disagree.

-

Jared: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on here?!

Zoe: It's kind of complicated. But Evan-

Jared: Got it. Forget I asked.

-

Zoe, about Alana: It's werd... I just.. I like her. Much.

Evan:

Evan: You

Evan: You like her much???

-

Zoe: Connor would throw himself out of a moving car for you.

Miguel: Connor would throw himself out of a moving car for fun!!

-

Connor: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

-

Evan: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

-

Jared: *Mindlessly flirting with Evan*

Evan: *Actually flirts back*

Jared:

Evan:

Evan: You're not gonna say anything?

Jared, panicking: I don't know. I didn't think I'd ever actually get this far.

-

Evan: What's the dumbest thing that you believed as a child?

Jared: That naptimes were a punishment.

-

Jared: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Evan: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!

Jared: What? No! Four to five!

Evan: Too late!

-

Miguel: I drink to forget, but I always remember...

Connor:

Connor: You're drinking orange juice.

-

Connor: Coffee or tea?

Evan: Tea.

Connor: Wrong. It's coffee.

-

Jared: I left instructions for everyone for while I'm gone.

Evan: Mine just says 'Evan, no.'

Jared: Yes, and I want you to apply that to every situation ever.

-

Miguel: What's the name of that guy that lives down the hall?

Connor: His cat's names are Fifi and Abigail.

Miguel: That's not what I asked?

Connor: That is all the information I have

-

Jared: We tried things your way.

Connor: No we didn't.

Jared: ...I did it in my head and it didn't work out.

-

Zoe, ordering coffee: I'd like a light roast,

Jared: You're kinda ugly.

-

Miguel: I'm the kind of person who likes to think things through!

Connor: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow while it was still on fire.

-

Zoe: This is so frustrating! I hate everything, I hate everybody!

Evan: ...Everybody?

Zoe, sighing: Everybody but you.

-

Evan: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Connor: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

the fact that he just shows up on a cruise 😭

like hello sir.... where have you been, again?

I mean. Don't get me wrong I'm happy to see you

He vanishes from the face of the earth sometimes I swear- I can't track him because he doesn't have social media oml

christian borle singing what more can i say in 2024

@weirdo-with-a-potato we've officially subjected ourselves to neverending catgirl hell

P.S.

christian borle I am so fucking sorry oh my god why did I spend so many hours on this PLEASE FORGIVE ME

where did you find the beforehand dialogue

I'm not crying, you're crying

Did you guys know that right when More Racquetball ends, and Charlotte takes Whizzer back, if you're wearing headphones, you can hear Marvin say "What?" in the most heartbreaking tone imaginable? Because he didn't expect Whizzer to need to go to the hospital? Because I fucking didn't.

More Incorrect DEH Quotes <3

(Trying to lower my stress levels with these lmao)

-

Jared: Let me copy your homework.

Connor: I was gonna copy yours.

Jared: Well, shit.

Connor: Guess I'm just not doing it, then.

-

Evan: I can't tell if your just incredibly arrogant or a genius.

Jared: On a good day, I'm both.

-

Connor: You read my fucking journal?

Zoe: Well, at first, I didn't know it was your journal.

Zoe: I thought it was a very sad, handwritten novel.

-

Evan: How stupid do you think I am?!

Jared: Do you really want an honest answer to that?

-

Jared: What the fuck?? People actually tell their crushes they like them???

Zoe: What the hell do you do??

Jared: I die?? What kind of question...

-

Connor: I should be allowed on Ghost Hunter TV shows.

Evan: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts...

-

Evan: Why is it so hard for you to believe me??

Alana:

Evan: Oh right. The lying.

-

Evan: I made this friendship bracelet for you :)

Jared: Well, uh, I'm not really a jewelry person...

Evan: You don't have to wear i--

Jared, holding the bracelet away from him: No, I'm wearing it. Forever. Back off.

-

Jared: I'm 80% awesome, 20% water, and 100% handsome.

Evan: That's 200%

Jared: I'm twice the man you'll ever be

-

Jared: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Connor:

Connor: I like you.

-

Alana: You think your smarter than everyone else...!

Jared: Oh, I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else.

Jared: I know I am.

-

Alana: Do you know a turtles only weakness?

Connor: No... well, their slowness.

Alana: Their weakness is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Connor: Now I have a plan.

Connor: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

-

Alana: I couldn't do this without you, Zoe.

Zoe: No, you probably could, just not as stylishly.

-

Jared: I want to kiss you.

Evan, not paying attention: What?

Jared: I said if you died, I wouldn't miss you.

-

Evan: I’m in love with you.

Jared: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Evan: I know.

Jared: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

-

Evan: I fell—

Jared: From heaven?

Evan: No, I literally fell—

Jared: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Evan: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Jared: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

-

Miguel: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Connor: Oh. We're going out?

Miguel: Wh...

-

Miguel: I'm gonna go take a shower.. wanna help me out?~

Connor: You've... never taken a shower before???

-

Jared: We both look very handsome tonight.

Evan: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Jared: I couldn't take that chance.

-

Connor: Miguel is playing hard-to-get.

Connor: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard-to-get-rid-of.

-

Miguel: Are you ready to commit?

Connor: Like, a crime or a relationship?

-

Zoe: So you like cats?

Alana: Mhm :>

Zoe: *Tries to impress her by slowly starting to push a glass off of the table*

-

Alana: Why don’t you go talk to him?

Jared, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure.

Alana: What? So you go tell him he's cute, what’s the worst that could happen?

Jared: He could hear me.

-

Connor: Did it hurt when you fell-

Miguel: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Connor: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs

Miguel: ...

Connor: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

-

Alana: Are you trying to seduce me?

Zoe: I don't know, are you seducible?