My Favourite Shakespeare Quotes:

Bunny: Camilla likes Henry!

Richard: She does not!

Bunny: Richard likes Camilla!

Francis: He does not!

Bunny: Francis likes Richard!

Charles: He does not!

Bunny: Charles likes Francis!

Henry: just shut up Bunny, nobody likes you. *pushes*

There's a huge difference between living and existing. If all you do is exist, when would you live?

~my biology teacher

TSH but after Bunny's death, the rest of the gang start receiving mysterious messages about their secrets.

Like the twins are sleeping together, they killed the farmer, Richard isn't rich, Francis and Charles have a thing, they tried to escape jail by going to South America, Richard knew about the farmer but kept quiet, Henry and Camilla are secretly involved, Henry tried to kill Bunny with poison mushrooms, Henry and Julian's little kiss, Julian knew about the bacchanal etc.

At first they got these messages, they kept it to themselves. Finding letters and notes in their bags, pockets and books. They kept it to themselves until they went to Bunny's funeral.

And there one of Bunny's nephews runs to them and gives Henry a note addressed to them in a familiar handwriting.

"Did you think you got me buried under the snow? That you got rid of me? I am not gone bitches, I am still here, and I know everything.

- Kisses, B"

Jinshi: cuz you are pretty and you're smart and you are ignoring me---so you're obviously my type.

Maomao: I am sorry what were you saying?

Jinshi, with heart eyes: Perfect👌

Henry: We have a problem.

Charles: Let me guess, you caused it?

Francis: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.

Richard: And it's another Tuesday, your point?

Bunny: Would shooting you solve this problem ? No ? Then shut up.

Camilla: If you mean the murder, that's our solution to last week's problem.

Bunny: what do you mean by murder? You killed someone?

Henry, looks at the others: guys we have another problem

Me: I am not crazy. I am not crazy

Brain: burn everything!

Me: No that's not me

Brain: kill everyone!

Me: NOOO

Brain: nothing is worth it. Everything you do has no meaning.

Me: ....plz stop torturing me, my teachers already do that.

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll: Richard Papen

Looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: Francis Abernathy

Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you: Charles Macaulay

Looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you: Henry Winter

Could kill you by feeding you too many cinnamon rolls: Camilla Macaulay

Does not deserve cinnamon rolls, will actually get killed: Bunny Concoran

BSD and Shipping

Since Valentine's day was coming I was interested in discussing a huge part of the BSD fandom: Shipping

( ⚠️ RANT INCOMING. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED ABOUT OPINIONS ON SHIPPING. PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS IN COMMENTS AND REBLOGS. ⚠️)

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So where to start?

For a long time I have been noticing one specific trend in the BSD subreddit. And that are posts that talk about unpopular opinions/Headcanons/fav or least fav ships etc.

What I find interesting about these posts is that one thing is always in the forefront, and it's the debates about the sexualities of the characters in BSD. While Headcanons can be annoying and some people do push their opinions on others, there is nuance that is lacking in the community when discussing some topics. Finding posts about Mori being a pedo and how Dazai is unlikable or overrated is very easy and the discussions surrounding topics like that are always the same. People would pick sides and end up writing a lot about what their opinion is and while that's valid, it also ends up in fandom wars where it's hard to like or dislike something without your head being in the chopping block.

Now let's go to the original topic: shipping. To examine the environment of shipping culture in BSD fandom we have to start with the headcanons that people have adopted for sexualities of the characters.

1. THE PROBLEM WITH HETRO-NORMATIVITY

Now, the posts about shipping often contain a lot of people writing paragraphs and paragraphs about what ships they like or dislike.

One of the ships that takes the most bullets for its existence and popularity is Soukoku or Shin Soukoku. There are lots of comments about these ships that "remind" us that canonically Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi and Akutagawa are all straight. They should not be shipped with each other because they are straight.....

Dazai flirts with women and wants to commit a double suicide with a beautiful woman. Atsushi is very clearly set up to end up with Lucy. Akutagawa couldn't care less about romance as we see how dismissive he is with Higuchi. And Chuuya.......wears fashionable outfits and has a slutty waist, but we won't comment on that.

Dazai and Chuuya have a lot of queer subtext that anyone can see. Akutagawa and Atsushi are pointed out to complete each other and complement each other several times. These ships don't exist out of thin air.

Now there is nothing WRONG with anyone having the headcanon of any of these (or any other) characters to be straight, after all we are not given enough information about their sexualities. But by stating "Dazai is straight, he likes women" or "this ship doesn't make sense because they are not gay" not only does it imply that characters can't have other preferences but also that being straight is the default, which it isn't.

This is coming from a straight woman from a very conservative country where we don't have exposure to queer media. It took me a long time to stop being so heteronormative. I think assuming someone is straight until they prove to you or tell you directly is just as bad and as assuming someone is gay. I think we have come far along as a community to understand that it shouldn't be our first instinct to assume everything is heterosexual until we get some sort of proof or stamp of approval from its creator.

Asagiri isn't going to stand up in a stage in front of the world and say "yeah Dazai and Chuuya have gay feelings for eachother" because the manga is from Japan. If there were explicit queer characters then BSD would no longer get the label of being universal because of certain censorship laws. Even if it's getting more acceptable in Japan to show queer characters in manga and anime, BSD isn't a romance or slice of life story. It's a seinen, not a BL/GL. Besides, Asagiri shows little to no interest in romantic relationships in his story.

So by saying "______ character is straight because we don't have any other information proving otherwise " isn't a valid excuse to tell shippers not to ship certain characters, it's making it seem like heterosexuality is the default state of being.

That also doesn't mean you can say "Dazai is gay, don't ship him with women" because that's the same thing. If you think Dazai is gay/bi/pan/etc. then that's your opinion, pushing that on others only worsens the rep of skk shippers especially.

You have the right to like or dislike certain ships or have your own Headcanons. This is why even feminising certain characters also isn't as problematic as people call it. It's just a different take on a character (but that time people were correcting those who called Sigma a "he" instead of "they" was genuinely wrong). Headcanons of some random online stranger doesn't make anything canon. So if you find yourself around annoying people like that, just leave the conversation.

2. WHY SUBTEXT MATTERS

Subtext is really important when discussing media; in case of BSD whether it is the anime, manga, anthologies or LNs. BSD is not new to subtext, even from the start of the story there is a lot of queer subtext that people can figure out easily.

When we are introduced to Dazai and Chuuya's partnership in the first season, it's clear as day to see the dynamic and its underlying tension. We can see how close those two are that their relationship can't be explained just as simple partners turned enemies. Time and time again we get so much queer subtext between Skk's interactions. The entire 15 arc and well as Stormbringer shows us the bond and trust between the two as well as the intense amount of gay scenes. At this point I am sure Hoshikawa is a hardcore skk shipper. All of their official art is also gay (that could be queerbating though). Asagiri must know what the public thinks about Skk and still writes subtext about them. It makes sense why this would be a popular ship; it's not made out of thin air with no context (*ahem* Kousano *ahem*) but has actual roots and the proof to back it up too.

SSKK is a similar story, it's not my favourite but it has been growing on me ever since S5. Similar to skk, we get a lot of subtext and homoerotic moments between Aku and Atsushi. They are yin and yang. They are enemies that sought to kill eachother but still team up to fight together. Atsushi is literally the centre of Akutagawa's life since the beginning. Atsushi and Akutagawa grow together as characters and as different as they appear are similarly looking for one thing: validation and acceptance. Their relationship is so compelling in so many levels that it too makes sense why their ship is as popular as it is (especially regarding recent events in the story)

Ranpoe.....let's be real, those two got married a long time ago. They are the definition of "be gay, solve crimes". They are undeniably a cute ship regardless of whether it's one sided or not. Fyolai as well makes complete sense with the context behind Fyodor and Nikolai's relationship, while I also consider it quite one-sided as it's mostly Nikolai that is fascinated by Fyodor (and wants to kiss kill him) Fukumori isn't my cup of tea but it too has enough subtext to back it up, same with FukuFuku.

While I would love to talk about other ships, I wanted to show the reasoning behind the most popular pairings.

Personally, as a multishipper, it's very fun for me to have so many characters to examine and spend time obsessing over.

Now, there are straight ships that I like too as well as ships I don't ship for myself.

The reason I don't like Yosano and Ranpo together is because I see them in the same position as Kyouka and Atsushi. The scene of Ranpo recruiting Yosano (who worked with Mori) into the ADA parallels Atsushi saving Kyouka (who also worked with Mori). I consider them siblings and like how they are platonic instead of it being the typical "a boy and girl can't be besties". Another ship I love and cherish is AtsuLucy because it's so adorable, Lucy is my fav Guild member and her and Atsushi are "Girlboss and Malewife". I ship Tachihara with Gin, Higuchi and Gin as well as Kunikida with Yosano (surprisingly I don't find the appeal of Kunizai; though I still like that ship from time to time, just don't ship it actively). I prefer not to ship Sigma with anyone (he is still a baby to me)

So it's not that BSD doesn't have straight ships, when you make a majority male cast and have them be rivals or enemies, obviously people will ship m/m more. Especially if there is more subtext and tension behind the male characters and they have little to no interactions with women.

And I might get some heat for saying this:

It is okay for most of the BSD characters to be considered queer because if comp het is so normal in anime/manga then why can't the opposite be the case? We already have enough series with little to no representation, so why can't we have a bunch of queer characters?

3. TOXIC SHIPPERS AND THE FALL OF FANDOM CULTURE

I have been raving for the past two sections and defending the shipping community. But it isn't a conversation with nuance if I don't address the problem of a small group of people that take shipping too seriously. The reason why fandom itself gets a bad rep is because of shipping more often than not. I will admit, it's not all sunshine and rainbows when people argue about their fav ships. And a lot of the aforementioned ships are to a point, toxic. Yes, some shippers are annoying and ruin everyone else's fun. There are ships that don't make sense at all.

But that doesn't mean that a small part of people should represent others who are just having harmless fun and don't even believe their ships to ever become canon. Let's be real it's highly unlikely we will have any couples by the end of the show (the closest could be AtsuLucy). Sometimes people are too intense about ships and that goes for both antis and pros. Both of the extreme are toxic. And instead of shoving down our opinions down other people's throats, we should be celebrating the very story that brought us together in the first place.

Yeah it can be hard for those who don't like shipping at all to enjoy the story and have discussions. But we have to remember the roots of fandom culture start with shipping. It's always been the case and it's always been the most popular way to discuss one's favourite fictional work. From Sherlock to Genshin to boy bands to streamers, everything has been shipped and will always be. There is a reason why AO3 works so well.

4. SO WHAT?

The ships are what brought me to BSD in the first place. I wanted to explore the world of BSD because of its characters and their dynamics. And a lot of other people have gotten into this fandom for the exact same reason. While there are unflattering moments in our fandom, that doesn't mean it's not a place for people to come together and have some fun. Whether you ship or not. Whether you like fanfictions or not. We have to accept that there are a lot of pros to shipping too. It brings our ideas together, makes us feel giddy inside or tears our heart apart, it produces beautiful fanarts and fanfictions, it makes us analyse characters, it makes us look deeper into the story....and it makes us wait for what's next to come.

And I want nothing more than to be able to enjoy shipping without the guilt that comes with it.

Shipping isn't free from its flaws, but it is not defined only by its flaws. It might not be for everyone, but it is someone's everything. So even if you don't like it in particular, let's not spoil other people's fun. One's trash is another's treasure.

~Peace out 🕊️✌️

Slytherin and Ravenclaw on a date:

*Gryffindor spying on them with Hufflepuff*

Hufflepuff: this is so creepy, why are we here?

Gryffindor: why did you come then?

Hufflepuff: you told me we are getting ice cream and feed ducks in the pond!

Slytherin: they are spying on us aren't they?

Ravenclaw: ofc, hiding behind the lamp post won't help Gryffindor

Slytherin: do you know how we can scare them?

Ravenclaw: *nods* I am ready

*both pull out knives at the same time*

Ravenclaw: honey, are you ready for our next murder spree?

Slytherin: You bet I am. I heard someone following us.

Ravenclaw: the last victims are not even found yet....

Gryffindor looks at Hufflepuff: this is the moment.

Hufflepuff: what? I can't hear anything and why are they pulling out knives are they going to......

Gryffindor: RUN!!!!!!RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

Hufflepuff: Ahhhhhh....all I wanted was to eat free ice cream!

Slytherin: they are not coming back

Ravenclaw: No.

Slytherin: why do you have a knife anyways? As a surgeon I have knives all over me.

Ravenclaw raises eyebrow: you never know when they come in handy...let's go I want cotton candy......NOW

Slytherin: *nervous laughter* you are so cute.

The Curse of Creativity and the suffering of artists:

"There are tons of people who are just as good as me." - Seiji Amasawa, Whisper of the heart (1995)

Ghibli movies have always had a huge impact on me. Full of quiet sensibilities and easily understood complex concepts; Ghibli movies made my childhood and the person I am today. And despite the cuteness of Totoro, the innocence of Ponyo, the quirky weirdness of Howl's moving castle (the themes of that movie are so intricate too) or the message about hardwork and burnout in Kiki's delivery service, there is one movie that remains in my heart (no pun intended)

"Whisper of the Heart" has taught me so much about myself and the path I am headed. It is the most beautiful, soul-crushing movie I have ever watched not because it has wars and the death of loved ones but because it is relatable and grounded. I can see myself in Shizuko and Seiji, I understand their struggles and dreams. I smiled with them and I cried for them. I related to Shizuko's struggle to see her writing as anything good and Seiji's belief that despite his achievements he isn't anywhere near as good at his skills as some other people.

This movie made me think about the saying I so often hear "Don't suffer for your dreams". While I scoffed at it when an adult said that to me first, now that I am much older and hopefully wiser, the words struck me not as nagging but as a warning.

Suffering doesn't equal great art, some people think that only those who are depressed and mentally ill can make great art, which is completely false. (Although I don't blame those people as many great artists and writers were actually mentally ill, it's not the only thing that makes one a great artist!) You don't have to suffer to be a great artist, you just have to be creative and work hard, there's nothing more to that.

When I was in my most depressed state during the last two years of high school, I wasn't writing or working hard on my book. I was staring at the wall wishing I would disappear. Overcoming that depression led me to write better, work harder, chase my dreams with passion.

During the times where I am stuck in a chapter I can't get through and my brain goes blank, I think to myself if I am actually a good writer or I have been just treading the waters of talent that I don't have. When people call me talented, it makes me squirm, it takes away my hardwork and effort.

Being a creative person is not easy, it's not all sunshine and rainbows where you are constantly getting new ideas. Sometimes it makes my head hurt. Acting on your ideas is not easy. I can think all I want but when it comes to actually writing that idea, I freeze.

Being an artistic person makes you feel self conscious. If anyone will like what I do? Will someone criticize me? What if no one likes my work? What if they judge me? There's someone who is better than me, why should I even bother?

Creativity isn't just a blessing, it's also a curse. It's a double-edged sword.

You should try to achieve the best but not make it your end goal. Life is so much more than success, fame and material goods. I don't write for any of those things, I write for myself and the people I care for. Even if I don't end up publishing any of my novels, I would still write. Never stop dreaming and become monotonous, you don't have to make sure your hobbies earn you money, they should give you peace and happiness.

There are times when I spend too much time in front of my computer typing out another new story when I stop and think back at those words, I don't feel dispassionate, suffering won't make me happy, writing whatever I want would. So I type ahead for some more minutes and take a break. I indulge in the world that I create in my books and make characters that I love more deeply than human beings, but I don't want it to become my life. I would still do normal everyday things and talk to normal everyday people. Work-life balance is utter bullshit and too idealistic, but making sure your work doesn't consume your life is what matters.

Even if I do end up getting an ordinary job and not making my hobby a career, I would not be disappointed.

I am ready to live a life of rationality and pragmatism but I will never accept monotony.